Starting Over Blog

The show begins with Christie in the confessional. She says she is very tired and has only had four hours of sleep. In the confessional, Niambi says she is excited that race day is here. She says her frustration is gone and she looks forward to enjoying the last day with everyone. Jodi gathers the women and they all get in the van and leave for the 5k race.

The women arrive at the race site and set up balloons, etc., for the event. In the confessional, Christie says she is hoping to run on adrenaline today. She says she is ready to have a good time and to express her passion and spirit. Christie's mom, Elaine, and her sister, Cassie, arrive for the race. In the confessional, Christie says she is very happy that they are there and she wants to make them proud.

Rhonda, Dr. Stan, and Iyanla have arrived as well. In the confessional, Rhonda says "this is it!" She says these are the crucial moments before the big event.

The women and guests gather and Rhonda stands before them. She says that this run is Christie's final assignment and she could not have done it without the support of many people. Then Rhonda takes out a bullhorn and begins announcing the Starting Over graduates from all three seasons. She calls out each of their names, and they each run over a hill and gather together. In the confessional, Christie says it is so awesome to see the women who have paved the way for her.

After everyone is gathered, Christie makes a speech. She says she is honored to stand before them and is truly blessed. She says that all of these women, the Starting Over graduates, speak the same language and they all know how she feels. She says she is a changed woman and she now wants to give back and help others.

Dr. Stan then announces the beginning of the race. Everyone starts jogging, running, or walking the course. As the race goes on, women from the past seasons are spotlighted in the confessional.

Megg from season two says she came into the house to overcome her fear of riding in elevators and airplanes. She says she is now doing both. Renee, also from season two, says she came into the house to step into adulthood. She says she is now in school to develop a career in fashion marketing. Nyanza from season one says she came to Starting Over to learn to develop real relationships. She says thanks to SO she is now married and has a solid relationship. Allison from season two and three says that Starting Over saved her life. She says she entered the house with dis-ease and disillusionment. She says she can now "be me," and is in a different world. Lisa N from seasons three says she is now very connected to others. Candy from season two says she came to the house to find her feminine side. She says she came to the race today to show that change is possible. Lynell from season one says the race is an amazing experience and she is very happy to be here today. Audrey from season one says she went into the house to be a singer/songwriter. She says she is now in the recording studio working with a Grammy-award winner. Maureen from season one says she fulfilled her goal up being a stand-up comic. TJ from season three says she entered the house in order to become more connected and more grounded. She says she definitely has those things now.

Andy Paige is the first person to reach the finish line. In the confessional she says she is a firm believer that you can "teach an old dog new tricks." Everyone else makes their way across the finish line. Christie struggles a little bit to make it across, and Rhonda takes her arm and runs the last steps with her. In the confessional, Christie says when she crossed the finish line she felt a sense of freedom, support, and confidence in herself and in her passion to help others.

After the race is over, Christie thanks her housemates who helped her with this final assignment. She then introduces Laura Drobst of the Women's Network. Christie then announces that they have raised over $4,100 with today's race. Laura and Christie hug and everyone claps.

In the confessional, Iyanla says now that the race has reached a conclusion she has to clear up some unfinished business with Niambi. She says she is concerned with how Niambi is holding up after their difficult conversation last night.

Everyone is now back at the house and Iyanla arrives to meet with Niambi. In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi is struggling with not graduating. She says Niambi's real problem runs deeper, however, and she hopes that Niambi's vulnerable state will help Iyanla get to the heart of the matter.

Iyanla asks Niambi how she is doing. Niambi says she hates to leave before finishing what she started. She says she realizes now that she has a lot more to do than she thought. Iyanla then asks Niambi to tell her what hurts her on an average day. Niambi says a better question would be what doesn't hurt her. She says she is clinically depressed. Iyanla asks her whether she has been diagnosed, and Niambi says a doctor did give her that diagnosis a few years ago. She says it is very hard to acknowledge, and conjectures that it is so difficult for pride or cultural reasons. Iyanla says it is a little of both. Iyanla says depression is an internal response to an external event. In the confessional, Iyanla says now that Niambi acknowledges her problem, she can deal with it.

Iyanla tells Niambi that her success was that she got up everyday in the house (even though she is depressed). She tells Niambi they have had a victory by Niambi realizing something else is going on. Niambi and Iyanla hug.

All the women from the current and past seasons have arrived at the house and everyone is gathered by the pool. Dr. Stan, Iyanla, and Rhonda are also there. Stan tells the women that they have had a rare opportunity to change their lives and in changing their lives they also helped countless others. He asks the women to share what it means to them to be a Starting Over woman.

Jill stands up first and says the opening of the show says, "This house changed my life." She says that is completely and totally true for her. She says she came in with a lot of baggage and was denying all of it. She says she can now say "here I am," and she stands in who she is for the first time in her life.

Sommer stands up next and tells the story of getting an email from a woman who was watching Sommer's story (the first time she was in the house). She says the women told her she was a new mother and had watched Sommer's "stupid exercise" and that it had gotten her through a difficult time. Sommer says she wrote the woman back and had to tell her she left the house before graduating and felt terrible about it. The woman wrote her back and sent her a photo of her baby daughter. She told Sommer that any time she feels like she failed she should look at the photo of that baby and realize that she saved that baby's mother's life. Sommer says it meant so much to her.

Cassie R from season one says the SO house made her realize that she could achieve her dreams. Rhonda asks Cassie when she will be graduating from college, and Cassie says she will soon be finished with school. Rhonda says that shows how long SO has been in existence because Cassie started college in season one of SO and now she is almost finished.

Kim from the current season is next to speak. She is very emotional and says the SO house gave her the opportunity to feel her feelings. She says she had been blocking off her feelings because she didn't want to feel pain. She says that now she can give and receive authentic love and she is honored and privileged to have been in the house. She tells all the women that she loves each and every one of them.

Lisa A, also from the current season says 2005 was the best year of her life. She says when she came into the house she thought nobody loved her and she had lost all her friends. She says she now has many friends and is emailing/talking on the phone with them all the time. She thanks everyone and says she is a new person.

Haley from season one says she came into the house a "brat." She says she learned how to get along with her mom and that she couldn't have made the changes in her life that she has made without SO.

Antonia from the current season says she does have some fear of leaving the house. She says she is like a baby learning to walk. She says she has had no contact with her father in 10 years because he is in prison, and she didn't know she even needed to address that issue before coming to SO. She says she realized she needed to address it when she "flipped out" on Cassie for giving her son up for adoption (which reminded her of her issues with her dad). She says she told Jill she was not ready to contact her father yet, and Jill told her to "get ready to get ready." Antonia says that is what she is going to do once she leaves the house.

Andy Paige is next to speak. She says she was nurtured in the SO house. She says it is easier to try when you know that if you fail, the women in the house all have your back. She says once she went back out into the "real world," however, she found that some people will hurt you when you offer an open heart to them. She says all that means is that those people are afraid and just like she used to be. She says when you can understand that, you can make friends with them.

Iyanla then speaks. She says there is one sister here today who is not quite completed in her journey. She says this woman is courageous to not see that as a failure, but to instead move forward in her life. She asks all the women sitting there to be Niambi's accountability partners. She then asks Niambi to share her intentions.

Niambi stands up and says she intends to walk through the doors of the SO house with her head held high. She says she intends to get the graduation statue. She says she has referred to the SO house as the "magic kingdom" and she now realizes that "I am the magic." She says she now has friends for life and a coach for life. She says she has a sense of self and knows herself more than she could have ever imagined. She tells everyone that she will see them at the "top" because that is where she will be. In the confessional, Antonia says she is proud of how much Niambi has accomplished and she will be there for her and be her friend forever.

Iyanla addresses the women and says she learned to live out loud a long time ago. She says she learned how dangerous and devastating silence can be. She says she believe that if you tell your story, it will heal you. She says being a part of SO has allowed her to edit and rewrite her story and doing it in a public way has been a freeing experience. She says she is honored and thanks all the women for allowing her to be part of their process. She says if she has helped just one person, her living is not in vain.

Stan is next to speak. He says he is an emotional man (you can ask his wife and children), and then starts choking up with emotion. He says he feels so much joy and exuberance from being a part of the house. He says he has had a unique role in the house and was somewhat of an outsider, but that everyone embraced him and welcomed him. He says he has been a psychologist for many years and has worked with many people, but he has never worked with the women so courageous and motivated. He says "because of you, I am a better man today."

Rhonda speaks next. She says she loves to see a "soul unfold." She says she has gotten to see that so often in the SO house. She says she has embraced the opportunity to share what she knows and to share with them her own healing and transformation. She thanks all the women and tells them to go and share what they have learned with the world.

The women of the previous seasons then leave the house. Jill then says goodbye and hugs everyone. In the confessional, Jill says she has achieved all her goals and she couldn't ask for more. Jill leaves the house for the last time.

Jodi is next to leave. She is crying and she and Iyanla are hugging. In the confessional, Jodi says saying goodbye is bittersweet. She says she has had an amazing experience and now is a time of new beginnings. Jodi leaves.

Sommer is next to say her goodbyes. She hugs everyone and Stan tells her is very happy that she graduated. In the confessional, she is crying and says she it is an incredible feeling to leave the house with her statue. She says she feels pride in herself and values herself now. Sommer leaves.

Antonia is next to leave. Stan tells her he expects great things from her. In the confessional, she says she in love with her housemates. She says she is sad to leave, but she is leaving a changed woman. She says it is sad, but sweet. Antonia leaves.

Christie is next to say goodbye. In the confessional, she says she is grateful and feels blessed. She pledges to give back and share her new-found strength with other women.

Iyanla then tells Niambi that she, Rhonda, and Dr. Stan want to talk with her. She is the final woman left in the house. In the confessional, Iyanla says before they can close up the house, they have unfinished business with "Miss Niambi."

Rhonda tells Niambi that she (Niambi) is still trusting the process. She says they are all holding her, even though they are not together. Iyanla tells Niambi that she will never leave her ever. Then she says "we have some work to do." She tells Niambi she has statue for her. Iyanla brings out a statue, but it is blank and doesn't yet have a plate. She puts the statue on the fireplace mantle and tells Niambi that when she sees herself in the statue, she will be ready to leave. In the confessional, Niambi says the SO house is like a cocoon, and you leave a beautiful butterfly. She says she has had a powerful, invaluable experience in the house. She says she knows one day her statue will read, “running enthusiastically toward life.”

Iyanla hugs Niambi and Niambi is crying. Niambi then leaves and Stan, Rhonda, and Iyanla stand outside the door of the house with their arms around each other. Stan says he thinks Niambi is going to make it and that all the women are going to make it.

The show then does a series of flashbacks from seasons three. At the end, Rhonda says the key word in Starting Over is "start." She says "contemplate that word in your life and say, yes I can start over."