Starting Over Blog

The show begins with Jennie McNulty from Curves arriving. Niambi is on the phone with Situation Man (Lucius), and tells him that she has a sprained knee and twisted right ankle. In the confessional, Niambi says she called Lucius because he gives her a lift and tends to make her feel better.

The women go outside to have a workout with Jennie. Niambi can't workout with the women because of her injuries, so she sits on the sidelines and watches. In the confessional, Christie says it is hard to be in the house with Niambi. She says Niambi doesn't like her and is not taking the 5k race seriously because she (Christie) is the one organizing it.

Later Antonia is in the kitchen telling Niambi that she has decided against bankruptcy. In the confessional, she says bankruptcy is definitely a "no-go." In the confessional, Niambi says she is being an ear for Antonia, but is not trying to guide her decision. She says Antonia has a strong personality and couldn't be guided by her anyway.

Rhonda arrives and the women meet for group. Rhonda opens the plasma and shows a definition of bankruptcy. The definition says it means "utter failure or impoverished." Antonia says that is why she hates it and would never do it. Rhonda asks the women if anyone else has been bankrupt. Christie says she has been "emotionally bankrupt." Rhonda says many women at some time in their lives have been emotionally or spiritually bankrupt. She says that women often tend to fill up the "bankrupt" feeling with meaningless things, which only makes the void deeper (like food, alcohol, etc). Rhonda says money, for example, won't make you happy, and even if you married a man with a billion dollars, you still wouldn't feel proud or satisfied if you are emotionally bankrupt.

Rhonda asks the women about their worst period of bankruptcy in their lives. Christie says it is when she went to detox. She says she had to go through the detox all by herself. Jodi says Christie is very brave to have put herself into detox. Christie says she has compassion now for the person she used to be. Antonia says she was at her worst when she was avoiding creditors by not answering her phone or opening her mail. She says she was at the point of wanting to give up. Rhonda then announces that tonight they are having a board of review. In the confessional, Niambi says she has already gotten one "C," and if she gets another she will be asked to leave. In the confessional, Christie says she thinks Niambi is doing "C" work and she is not sure she should be off probation. Group is adjourned.

Rhonda arrives at a park and meets with Christie to go over the 5k course. They walk the course together and Rhonda asks Christie who she is worried about in the house. Christie says she is worried about Niambi. Rhonda asks whether Christie can count on Niambi. Christie says she thinks Niambi will do what she has to do, but that she is resisting her (Christie). In the confessional, Rhonda says the tension between Christie and Niambi is high and she is concerned about Niambi's ability to change.

Iyanla arrives and meets with Antonia. Iyanla tells Antonia she wants to acknowledge her effort yesterday in getting up the hill because it was rough. Antonia says it was rough and that her "tears welled up," but she didn't let them fall. Iyanla asks her why not, and Antonia says because tears mean weakness. Iyanla tells her that isn't true, and that tears can wash away negative thoughts and feelings. She then tells Antonia that that there is a distinction between a goal and a vision. She says a goal is merely work without a vision to which that goal will lead. She says a goal and a vision are part of a co-creative process. In the confessional, Iyanla says she is proud of Antonia taking ownership of her debt and is ready to honor her commitments.

Later in the day, Iyanla comes to the front door and announces that she has a special guest. All the women gather and then SO graduate, Jill, comes in. Jodi rushes over to hug her and says how happy she is to see her. Iyanla says Jill has had some major developments in her life and says that Jill has been in contact with her father. Jill says the first thing he said when they met was, "I love you." She says he apologized for how everything turned out. Iyanla says Jill is having difficulties with her mom as a result of Jill contacting her dad. In the confessional, Iyanla says Jill has come back to the SO house because it is a safe environment in which to deal with these issues.

Jill and Iyanla go to speak one-on-one. Jill says she told her mom that she might go to Vegas to spend Christmas with her dad, and her mom is upset. Iyanla says Jill did not move back to Miami after she left the house, and that her mom does not like to live alone. She says Jill's mom raised Jill all alone and now Jill is going to see her dad. She asks Jill how that might make her mom feel. Jill says her mom feels abandoned. Iyanla asks if she is abandoning her mom, and Jill says no.

In the confessional, Jill says when she is at odds with her mom, she feels at odds with herself. Jill tells Iyanla that she can't appreciate her newfound relationship with her dad because of the situation with her mom. Iyanla asks Jill how this stress is showing up in her life. Jill says she hasn't been eating the cupcake, but she has eaten its second cousin, the doughnut. Iyanla laughs and tells Jill she's crazy. Then they move on and Iyanla tells Jill that she (Jill) is experiencing mind-blowing events in her life right now. In the confessional, Jill says she wants to have a relationship with both her mom and her dad.

Iyanla asks Jill how she feels about her dad having two sons who he did raise. Jill says when she went to visit her dad, she found out he lives in this big, amazing house and they showed her videos of past Christmases, etc., and she felt like, "why didn't I get this?" Iyanla asks whether her two brothers knew about her and she says they didn't. Jill says she needs answers from her father, and she can't move ahead with a relationship with him until she gets them. Iyanla tells her she has invited her father to the house. Jill looks stunned by the news.

Antonia goes over the 5k budget with Christie. In the confessional, Christie says she knew she could count on Sommer and Jodi to help her, but she is blown away by how successfully Antonia has kept them under budget.

Iyanla and Jill continue talking. Iyanla says he told Jill's father that when Jill takes one-step towards him, he should take 1 1/2 steps because Jill was not a missing daughter; he was a missing father. Iyanla tells Jill not to let this challenge in her life regulate who she is as a person. Iyanla tells her that her dad and other members of that side of the family are going to be arriving in the morning.

The women gather for the BoR; Iyanla and Rhonda arrive. Rhonda goes over the grade structure and then Iyanla calls Niambi to the podium. Niambi states her goal and Rhonda asks her what she is doing well. Niambi says she is adjusting well, listening, and is conscious of her decisions and choices. Rhonda asks what she is not doing well. Niambi says she is suspicious and paranoid. Iyanla asks about what. Niambi says she is suspicious of people's intentions and paranoid that she doesn't have what it takes to make it in the house. Iyanla asks her what grade she would give herself. Niambi says she would give herself a "B." Iyanla asks the women one thing Niambi needs to work on. Jodi says she needs to acknowledge her weaknesses and that she still has a tough exterior. Christie says she needs to be more trusting of all of them. In the confessional, Christie says she is not sure Niambi has the capacity to embrace the process.

Rhonda asks the women whether Niambi should stay or go. All of them say she should stay, but Christie hesitates before saying it. Rhonda says her philosophy in life is to assume innocence. She says Niambi has yet to master that. Iyanla says Niambi's story is heartbreaking. She says Niambi was abandoned by everyone in her life. Niambi starts crying with her face down and while covering her eyes with her hands. Rhonda tells her to look up and allow them to see her. Niambi uncovers her eyes, but can't look at them. Iyanla says it must be unbearable to stand in the depth of Niambi's heartbreak. She says she herself couldn't do it. She says the most tragic part is that Niambi has abandoned herself and she doesn't know how to call Niambi back home. Iyanla then reveals Niambi's grade; she gives her a "B." She tells Niambi she would have given her and "A" if she would have trusted herself and asked for it. She says you get what you ask for... Niambi takes her seat.

Rhonda then calls Christie to the podium. In the confessional, Christie says she has been so busy that she didn't expect to get called up today. Iyanla asks Christie what she is doing well and Christie says she is doing "everything pretty well." Iyanla asks her what she needs to work on. Christie says she needs to trust herself more. Rhonda asks her what grade she would give herself, and Christie says an "A, definitely." Iyanla says Christie has a light that is very brilliant, but that Christie can't always see it. She says Christie has a sweetness and a genuineness about her. Rhonda says Christie doesn't always see how much love there is. She says Christie came into the house punishing herself and accepting scraps of love. Rhonda says Christie is going to have a test tomorrow and if she passes, she graduates. If she fails, she won't graduate. Christie asks what the test is, but Rhonda says she will find out tomorrow. Then Rhonda gives Christie her "grade," which is a blank piece of paper.

Iyanla then calls Antonia up to the podium. Rhonda asks her what she is doing well, and Antonia says she has contacted all her creditors, etc. Iyanla asks what grade she would give herself and Antonia says she would give herself an "A" because she has done all the work. Rhonda asks the women to name one good change in Antonia. Christie says Antonia asks questions and is willing to listen. Jodi says Antonia is open to feedback and is now a "woman." Rhonda says Antonia has a passion that is electric and contagious. She says she hopes Antonia will always keep her innocence and her passion. Iyanla says she always gets the "babies" (younger housemates). She says Antonia is edgy and brassy and thought she knew all the answers, when in reality she didn't even know the question. She says she wants Antonia to take the edge off a little. Iyanla says that as long as Antonia does that she will maintain the grade she is going to give her.

Iyanla then reveals Antonia's grade, which is an "A" and has a graduation cap on top of it. Iyanla says Antonia is graduating, and Antonia starts crying, thanks Iyanla, and then goes over and hugs her and Rhonda. In the confessional, Christie says she is "thrilled" for Antonia, but she wonders what hoops she has to jump through in order to graduate. The board of review is concluded.

Antonia is very happy and goes and tells Jill that she is graduating. Jill is very excited for her. Christie, on the other hand, is upset that she is not graduating. She talks to Jodi about it, and Jodi says she feels her pain. Christie is crying and hugs Jill. In the confessional, Christie says she is frustrated and "pissed." Jill tells Christie that she will tell her what Iyanla told her: "To whom much is given, much is required."

Later in the evening, Niambi is getting ready for bed. In the confessional, Niambi says she is happy she wasn't asked to leave, but a "B" is not an "A" and there is room for improvement.

Jodi and Jill are in the bedroom talking. Jill says her mom asked her what she (her mom) was getting out of Jill meeting her father. Jill says her mother doesn't understand that this is the best thing she could do for herself. She is crying because she is sad that her mom is not supporting her. She says it is hard to feel good about it and that it breaks her heart that her mom isn't there for her. In the confessional, Jill says she is disappointed that her mom won't walk this journey with her. Jill tells Jodi that her mother should know better and she can't believe her mom doesn't know she loves her.

Preview for next week: Christie is at the end of her rope. Jill isn't prepared for what her father has to say. The women say goodbye to Antonia. Dozens of faces from the past turn up to support Christie on her big day.