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Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Goodbye -The Final Episode-

The show begins with Christie in the confessional. She says she is very tired and has only had four hours of sleep. In the confessional, Niambi says she is excited that race day is here. She says her frustration is gone and she looks forward to enjoying the last day with everyone. Jodi gathers the women and they all get in the van and leave for the 5k race.

The women arrive at the race site and set up balloons, etc., for the event. In the confessional, Christie says she is hoping to run on adrenaline today. She says she is ready to have a good time and to express her passion and spirit. Christie's mom, Elaine, and her sister, Cassie, arrive for the race. In the confessional, Christie says she is very happy that they are there and she wants to make them proud.

Rhonda, Dr. Stan, and Iyanla have arrived as well. In the confessional, Rhonda says "this is it!" She says these are the crucial moments before the big event.

The women and guests gather and Rhonda stands before them. She says that this run is Christie's final assignment and she could not have done it without the support of many people. Then Rhonda takes out a bullhorn and begins announcing the Starting Over graduates from all three seasons. She calls out each of their names, and they each run over a hill and gather together. In the confessional, Christie says it is so awesome to see the women who have paved the way for her.

After everyone is gathered, Christie makes a speech. She says she is honored to stand before them and is truly blessed. She says that all of these women, the Starting Over graduates, speak the same language and they all know how she feels. She says she is a changed woman and she now wants to give back and help others.

Dr. Stan then announces the beginning of the race. Everyone starts jogging, running, or walking the course. As the race goes on, women from the past seasons are spotlighted in the confessional.

Megg from season two says she came into the house to overcome her fear of riding in elevators and airplanes. She says she is now doing both. Renee, also from season two, says she came into the house to step into adulthood. She says she is now in school to develop a career in fashion marketing. Nyanza from season one says she came to Starting Over to learn to develop real relationships. She says thanks to SO she is now married and has a solid relationship. Allison from season two and three says that Starting Over saved her life. She says she entered the house with dis-ease and disillusionment. She says she can now "be me," and is in a different world. Lisa N from seasons three says she is now very connected to others. Candy from season two says she came to the house to find her feminine side. She says she came to the race today to show that change is possible. Lynell from season one says the race is an amazing experience and she is very happy to be here today. Audrey from season one says she went into the house to be a singer/songwriter. She says she is now in the recording studio working with a Grammy-award winner. Maureen from season one says she fulfilled her goal up being a stand-up comic. TJ from season three says she entered the house in order to become more connected and more grounded. She says she definitely has those things now.

Andy Paige is the first person to reach the finish line. In the confessional she says she is a firm believer that you can "teach an old dog new tricks." Everyone else makes their way across the finish line. Christie struggles a little bit to make it across, and Rhonda takes her arm and runs the last steps with her. In the confessional, Christie says when she crossed the finish line she felt a sense of freedom, support, and confidence in herself and in her passion to help others.

After the race is over, Christie thanks her housemates who helped her with this final assignment. She then introduces Laura Drobst of the Women's Network. Christie then announces that they have raised over $4,100 with today's race. Laura and Christie hug and everyone claps.

In the confessional, Iyanla says now that the race has reached a conclusion she has to clear up some unfinished business with Niambi. She says she is concerned with how Niambi is holding up after their difficult conversation last night.

Everyone is now back at the house and Iyanla arrives to meet with Niambi. In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi is struggling with not graduating. She says Niambi's real problem runs deeper, however, and she hopes that Niambi's vulnerable state will help Iyanla get to the heart of the matter.

Iyanla asks Niambi how she is doing. Niambi says she hates to leave before finishing what she started. She says she realizes now that she has a lot more to do than she thought. Iyanla then asks Niambi to tell her what hurts her on an average day. Niambi says a better question would be what doesn't hurt her. She says she is clinically depressed. Iyanla asks her whether she has been diagnosed, and Niambi says a doctor did give her that diagnosis a few years ago. She says it is very hard to acknowledge, and conjectures that it is so difficult for pride or cultural reasons. Iyanla says it is a little of both. Iyanla says depression is an internal response to an external event. In the confessional, Iyanla says now that Niambi acknowledges her problem, she can deal with it.

Iyanla tells Niambi that her success was that she got up everyday in the house (even though she is depressed). She tells Niambi they have had a victory by Niambi realizing something else is going on. Niambi and Iyanla hug.

All the women from the current and past seasons have arrived at the house and everyone is gathered by the pool. Dr. Stan, Iyanla, and Rhonda are also there. Stan tells the women that they have had a rare opportunity to change their lives and in changing their lives they also helped countless others. He asks the women to share what it means to them to be a Starting Over woman.

Jill stands up first and says the opening of the show says, "This house changed my life." She says that is completely and totally true for her. She says she came in with a lot of baggage and was denying all of it. She says she can now say "here I am," and she stands in who she is for the first time in her life.

Sommer stands up next and tells the story of getting an email from a woman who was watching Sommer's story (the first time she was in the house). She says the women told her she was a new mother and had watched Sommer's "stupid exercise" and that it had gotten her through a difficult time. Sommer says she wrote the woman back and had to tell her she left the house before graduating and felt terrible about it. The woman wrote her back and sent her a photo of her baby daughter. She told Sommer that any time she feels like she failed she should look at the photo of that baby and realize that she saved that baby's mother's life. Sommer says it meant so much to her.

Cassie R from season one says the SO house made her realize that she could achieve her dreams. Rhonda asks Cassie when she will be graduating from college, and Cassie says she will soon be finished with school. Rhonda says that shows how long SO has been in existence because Cassie started college in season one of SO and now she is almost finished.

Kim from the current season is next to speak. She is very emotional and says the SO house gave her the opportunity to feel her feelings. She says she had been blocking off her feelings because she didn't want to feel pain. She says that now she can give and receive authentic love and she is honored and privileged to have been in the house. She tells all the women that she loves each and every one of them.

Lisa A, also from the current season says 2005 was the best year of her life. She says when she came into the house she thought nobody loved her and she had lost all her friends. She says she now has many friends and is emailing/talking on the phone with them all the time. She thanks everyone and says she is a new person.

Haley from season one says she came into the house a "brat." She says she learned how to get along with her mom and that she couldn't have made the changes in her life that she has made without SO.

Antonia from the current season says she does have some fear of leaving the house. She says she is like a baby learning to walk. She says she has had no contact with her father in 10 years because he is in prison, and she didn't know she even needed to address that issue before coming to SO. She says she realized she needed to address it when she "flipped out" on Cassie for giving her son up for adoption (which reminded her of her issues with her dad). She says she told Jill she was not ready to contact her father yet, and Jill told her to "get ready to get ready." Antonia says that is what she is going to do once she leaves the house.

Andy Paige is next to speak. She says she was nurtured in the SO house. She says it is easier to try when you know that if you fail, the women in the house all have your back. She says once she went back out into the "real world," however, she found that some people will hurt you when you offer an open heart to them. She says all that means is that those people are afraid and just like she used to be. She says when you can understand that, you can make friends with them.

Iyanla then speaks. She says there is one sister here today who is not quite completed in her journey. She says this woman is courageous to not see that as a failure, but to instead move forward in her life. She asks all the women sitting there to be Niambi's accountability partners. She then asks Niambi to share her intentions.

Niambi stands up and says she intends to walk through the doors of the SO house with her head held high. She says she intends to get the graduation statue. She says she has referred to the SO house as the "magic kingdom" and she now realizes that "I am the magic." She says she now has friends for life and a coach for life. She says she has a sense of self and knows herself more than she could have ever imagined. She tells everyone that she will see them at the "top" because that is where she will be. In the confessional, Antonia says she is proud of how much Niambi has accomplished and she will be there for her and be her friend forever.

Iyanla addresses the women and says she learned to live out loud a long time ago. She says she learned how dangerous and devastating silence can be. She says she believe that if you tell your story, it will heal you. She says being a part of SO has allowed her to edit and rewrite her story and doing it in a public way has been a freeing experience. She says she is honored and thanks all the women for allowing her to be part of their process. She says if she has helped just one person, her living is not in vain.

Stan is next to speak. He says he is an emotional man (you can ask his wife and children), and then starts choking up with emotion. He says he feels so much joy and exuberance from being a part of the house. He says he has had a unique role in the house and was somewhat of an outsider, but that everyone embraced him and welcomed him. He says he has been a psychologist for many years and has worked with many people, but he has never worked with the women so courageous and motivated. He says "because of you, I am a better man today."

Rhonda speaks next. She says she loves to see a "soul unfold." She says she has gotten to see that so often in the SO house. She says she has embraced the opportunity to share what she knows and to share with them her own healing and transformation. She thanks all the women and tells them to go and share what they have learned with the world.

The women of the previous seasons then leave the house. Jill then says goodbye and hugs everyone. In the confessional, Jill says she has achieved all her goals and she couldn't ask for more. Jill leaves the house for the last time.

Jodi is next to leave. She is crying and she and Iyanla are hugging. In the confessional, Jodi says saying goodbye is bittersweet. She says she has had an amazing experience and now is a time of new beginnings. Jodi leaves.

Sommer is next to say her goodbyes. She hugs everyone and Stan tells her is very happy that she graduated. In the confessional, she is crying and says she it is an incredible feeling to leave the house with her statue. She says she feels pride in herself and values herself now. Sommer leaves.

Antonia is next to leave. Stan tells her he expects great things from her. In the confessional, she says she in love with her housemates. She says she is sad to leave, but she is leaving a changed woman. She says it is sad, but sweet. Antonia leaves.

Christie is next to say goodbye. In the confessional, she says she is grateful and feels blessed. She pledges to give back and share her new-found strength with other women.

Iyanla then tells Niambi that she, Rhonda, and Dr. Stan want to talk with her. She is the final woman left in the house. In the confessional, Iyanla says before they can close up the house, they have unfinished business with "Miss Niambi."

Rhonda tells Niambi that she (Niambi) is still trusting the process. She says they are all holding her, even though they are not together. Iyanla tells Niambi that she will never leave her ever. Then she says "we have some work to do." She tells Niambi she has statue for her. Iyanla brings out a statue, but it is blank and doesn't yet have a plate. She puts the statue on the fireplace mantle and tells Niambi that when she sees herself in the statue, she will be ready to leave. In the confessional, Niambi says the SO house is like a cocoon, and you leave a beautiful butterfly. She says she has had a powerful, invaluable experience in the house. She says she knows one day her statue will read, “running enthusiastically toward life.”

Iyanla hugs Niambi and Niambi is crying. Niambi then leaves and Stan, Rhonda, and Iyanla stand outside the door of the house with their arms around each other. Stan says he thinks Niambi is going to make it and that all the women are going to make it.

The show then does a series of flashbacks from seasons three. At the end, Rhonda says the key word in Starting Over is "start." She says "contemplate that word in your life and say, yes I can start over."

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Christie Graduates

The show begins with Christie in the confessional. She says today is her graduation day and she is thrilled. She says she has never followed through and completed something of this magnitude.

Niambi is on the phone with Iyanla. Iyanla tells her she is to go to a jewelry store today and choose charms for a serenity bracelet they will put together later in the day. In the confessional, Iyanla says it is a difficult time for Niambi because everyone is graduating around her.

The women gather for group and Rhonda arrives. Rhonda calls Christie to sit next to her and then opens the plasma to reveal Christie's old self-portrait. Christie says she traced the image of the woman in her old self-portrait because she was afraid that if she drew it herself it would look stupid. Then they put up on the plasma Christie's new self-portrait. Christie says she drew this one herself. Niambi says that the new self-portrait has big bold words like cornerstones for Christie's life. In the confessional, Jodi says Christie is a powerful woman and she (Christie) is realizing that now.

Rhonda asks Christie whether she is ready for the 5k tomorrow. Christie says she is ready and looking forward to it. Rhonda then gives Christie a present; it is a box of medals for the runners tomorrow. Christie was unable to get the medals in time and thought she wouldn't have them by race day. Christie is happy to get them and shows them to all the women. Rhonda then announces that Andy Paige is there to take Christie out for her makeover. Andy makes her entrance and in the confessional, Jill says she hopes Andy will be "stopping Repunzal" by getting Christie to cut her hair. Christi and Andy leave together and group is adjourned.

Niambi and Jill are talking about their mother issues. Niambi says when she came to the house she believed her dad was all bad, and her mom was all good. She says Iyanla told her it was time to tell the truth. In the confessional, Jill says it was a big step for both of them to disclose difficulties in their relationships with their mothers because it isn't culturally accepted to air their private business in public.

Andy and Christie arrive at a clothing store called Dressed Up. Andy shows her various dresses she has picked out for her. Christie says she is a little nervous because she doesn't want to wear anything too short or revealing. She says, however, that she wants a dress that is form fitting and feminine.

Iyanla arrives to meet with Jill. In the confessional, Iyanla says Jill is having a difficult time with her mother. She says Jill went and visited her formerly estranged father for Christmas, and didn't even send her mom a card. Iyanla says that Jill does not have a peaceful balance with her parents. Jill tells Iyanla that it is very difficult to speak to her mother about her father. She says her mom feels abandoned because Jill met with her father. Iyanla asks Jill how she would feel if she were her mother. She says Jill's mother raised her all alone and was abandoned by Jill's father. Then 40 years later, the father is back and Jill goes to see him for Christmas and doesn't even go send her mom a card. Jill says she would feel abandoned, angry, and sad if she were her mom. Iyanla says Jill didn't mean to make her mom feel that way, but that is exactly what she did. She says Jill unintentionally did to her mom what Jill's dad did to Jill.

Niambi goes shopping at Jewel Art for the charms to make her bracelet. In the confessional Niambi says she feels that her life is in other people's hands right now, and she finds the loss of control frightening.

Christie continues trying on dresses at Dressed Up. She says she is used to hiding her body by wearing jeans and big sweatshirts and that wearing a revealing dress is a risk.

Jill and Iyanla continue their conversation. Jill is crying and Iyanla tells her that her (Jill's) mom feels hurt and scared. She says Jill is not responsible for how her mom feels, but she should meet her mom in that place. Jill asks Iyanla how she can get rid of the desire to "fix" her mom. Iyanla says to stop believing that her mom is broken. Iyanla then tells Jill to go wash her face and then they will call Jill's mom together. She says acknowledment is the "first step towards healing."

Andy and Christie arrive at a hair salon. In the confessional, Andy says she wants to try to get Christie to donate her hair to Locks Of Love. Andy tells Christie that her "old" hair represents the person she used to be when she was drinking, doing drugs, etc. She says Christie is a new person now and can let go of the old hair.

Jill and Iyanla call Jill's mom on speakerphone. Iyanla tells Jill's mom, Lynda, that she is going to facilitate the conversation and is there for support. Iyanla asks Lynda how she felt when Jill didn't get in touch with her over the holiday. Lynda says she felt left out. She says you just don't forget your mom on Christmas and says she felt terrible when she didn't hear from Jill. She says she was shocked and felt alone and neglected.

Jill tells her mom she wants to acknowledge how her mom felt and says she apologizes for the "depths of her soul." She asks her mom for forgiveness. Her mom accepts Jill's apology and thanks her. In the confessional, Iyanla says Jill and her mom can now move forward with a loving relationship.

Christie and Andy are at the hair salon and Andy is telling Christie they should take off 8-12" of hair for Locks Of Love. Christie is a little hesitant at first. In the confessional, Christie says she would have said no to the haircut if it weren't going to a good cause. She says she wants to give back for all she has received, and she agrees to the haircut. The stylist cuts off 8" and then washes and colors Christie's hair.

Starting Over graduates Kelly, Kim, and Lisa arrive at the house. All the women are excited to see them. Niambi and Kim sit and talk for a minute. Kim asks Niambi how things are going in the house, and Niambi says "it is what it is." In the confessional, Niambi says it is difficult to watch everyone graduating. She says she feels exhausted and left out.

Rhonda, Iyanla, and Dr. Stan arrive. Everyone gathers for Christie's graduation while Andy puts the finishing touches on Christie's make-up.

Christie comes in and everyone stands up and claps for her. (ED Her hair looks great and she is wearing a pretty green dress.) In the confessional, Jodi says she is very happy to see that Christie got her haircut. She says Christie looks very polished now and is breathtaking.

Everyone takes a seat and Rhonda goes to the podium. Rhonda says when Christie first came into the house she was a beautiful woman who didn't know it. She says Christie's goal, Learning To Love Herself, was impeded at first because Christie had so much baggage from her past. She says Christie had so much baggage that she didn't know herself. She says one of Christie's most difficult challenges was giving up her addictions. They flashback to when Christie did the exercise in which she threw liquor bottles, pills, etc., into the fire pit outside. Rhonda says Christie realized that her addictions had become too powerful in her life and she recognized that she had to let them go.

Rhonda says Christie had numbed herself so much with her addictions that she didn't know who she was. She says a major difficult Christie faced was her feelings of loneliness. They flashback to the time Christie's housemates were instructed to ignore her and show how upset Christie was about it. Rhonda says Christie's day of loneliness was a turning point for Christie. She says Christie realized that every time she wanted to give up and numb out, it was because she felt lonely, and that Christie faced that loneliness instead of running away.

Rhonda says Christie next faced her issues with her mom and Christie and Kim joined together to deal with their mother issues. Rhonda says that Christie then had a luncheon with her mom in which she let her mom off the hook. They flashback to the day Christie and her mom met. Rhonda says on that day Christie became an adult. Rhonda says her wish for Christie is that she realizes she has the fortitude, passion, and dedication to accomplish anything she wants. She says "just walk into the future and claim it." Rhonda congratulates Christie and they hug.

Iyanla goes to the podium next. Iyanla says there are no words to describe Christie's brilliance and beauty. She says Christie is the brilliance and beauty of love. She says Christie has sunflowers (that the women gave her when she walked in the room), and that sunflowers close up at night when the sun goes down. She says her wish for Christie is that she allow her brilliance to shine in the darkest places of her life and in the darkest places of the world. Iyanla congratulates Christie.

Stan is next to the podium. He says that when he thinks of what Starting Over means, he thinks about Christie. He says she came into the house not fully acknowledging the depth of her issues and problems, but made a remarkable transformation. He then mentions that Christie will be raising her brother, Cain. In the confessional, Christie says Cain was "hanging on by a thread" and that she has decided to raise him. She hopes to inspire him and help him to become a wonderful person. Stan congratules Christie.

Kelly goes to the podium next. She tells Christie she looks beautiful. She says the first day she (Kelly) got to the house, Christie said she was scared of her. Kelly says she knew then that she and Christie would be close. Kelly says she can scare people a bit, but she is not a scary person. She says her hope for Christie is that she creates a soft, safe place for Cain and that she knows she doesn't have to be perfect. Kelly and Christie hug each other.

Jodi goes to the podium next. She says she and Christie entered the house within four days of each other and have gone through the whole journey together. She tells Christie that she promises to help her with Cain financially and with love and support. She tells Christie to put one foot in front of the other and she will get to where she wants to be. She tells Christie she loves her.

Rhonda, Iyanla, and Christie then go to the podium and Iyanla presents Christie with her graduation gifts. They are giving Christie a vacation to Big Bear in California to give Christie and Cain bonding time together. They are also giving her $1500 to help her with moving expenses and furniture so she can create a warm home for Cain and herself.

Rhonda then presents Christie with her trophy. Rhonda says the trophy is very rare and only people who have gone through the SO process successfully gets one. She says she is honored to include Christie in that group. The trophy reads, "Loveable-Starting Over 2006."

Christie is up at the podium. She says she feels so blessed to have been chosen to be in the house. She tells Rhonda that she has never had someone look at her with such pride in her eyes the way Rhonda looks at her. She says she is very grateful to Rhonda and that Rhonda is her inspiration. She says Iyanla is powerful and that her words speak to her (Christie's) soul. She says Dr. Stan has been her soft place, and has also been the male role model she never had. She also tells Stan he is looking particularly hot tonight.

Christie then thanks her housemates for the opportunity to share this journey. She says Kelly is the epitome of "mother" to her and she always wished she had had a mom like Kelly. She tells Jodi she is grateful to her and loves her. She says Jodi has taught her many priceless things. She says Niambi is her "biggest gift." She says Niambi has taught her a lot, and that she will be there for Niambi whenever Niambi can look at Christie the same way Christie looks at her. She says she will be there for her without judgment.

Christie then thanks everyone again and in the confessional, she says she feels loveable tonight. She says she is a different person and has started over. After the graduation ceremony, Christie goes outside and floats her candle in the pool.

Later, Kim, Kelly, and Lisa say goodbye and leave the house. Niambi looks sad and is sitting on the couch alone. In the confessional, Iyanla says she is going to have a heart to heart with Niambi and that "all is not lost."

Niambi and Iyanla sit at a table and talk. Niambi has brought the charms she bought today and Iyanla looks them over. Iyanla then asks Niambi what she is ready to do. Niambi says she is ready to be honest about who she is and what she wants. Iyanla asks Niambi what she believes she can have right now and just as she is. Niambi doesn't answer. Iyanla says she can't help Niambi if Niambi doesn't have a vision. Iyanla then tells the story of Seabiscuit. Seabiscuit, she says, was a thoroughbred horse, but he was a runt. The trainers, therefore, used Seabiscuit to train other horses. They would have him run against the other thoroughbreds, but would pull back on his reins and never let him go too fast or win a race. She says Seabiscuit was trained to lose. Iyanla asks Niambi if she was trained to lose, and Niambi says she thinks she was in a lot of areas of her life.

Iyanla says Seabiscuit had to be trained to win. She says one trainer recognized himself in Seabiscuit and he took it upon himself to train the horse to win. Iyanla says the trainer trained Seabiscuit to win by letting go of the reins instead of reigning in the horse. She says Iyanla has to do the same with Niambi; she has to let her go. She says Niambi is not prepared to graduate. She says Niambi's vision is not clear enough yet. Niambi starts crying and Iyanla asks her how she feels. Niambi says she is tired of hearing she is "brilliant, but..." and "I love you, but..." Iyanla says that she is saying "and" and not "but." She says she is saying, "You’re brilliant AND you need to get your vision clear."

Niambi says she didn't get to do what she came to the house to do. Iyanla tells Niambi she is not done. She says, however, that Niambi needs to figure out why she has a lack of clarity. She says that is the work Niambi needs to do. In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi's lack of vision speaks to a deeper issue and she thinks Niambi can deal with that issue when she leaves the house.

Preview: Niambi learns what her fate in the house will be. After weeks of planning, Christie faces her biggest challenge, but she isn't alone. The women look back at the house that changed their lives forever.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Antonia Graduates and Jill's Father Visits

The show begins with Antonia in the confessional talking about graduating today. She is very excited and says she has "really started over." Jennie McNulty, a representative of Curves, arrives to lead the women in a workout at the tennis court. In the confessional, Sommer says it is freezing outside, she is tired, and she just doesn't feel like working out. The women jog around the tennis court a few times and then Jenny gives them some tips on running the 5k.

In the confessional, Jill says her family on her father's side is coming to the house today. She says she has some trepidation about the meeting.

Rhonda arrives and in the confessional she says she wants to be sure that Christie understands how organizing and running the 5k applies to Christie's life. Rhonda tells Christie that she wants her to go get her body painted today as a way of fully expressing herself. In the confessional, Rhonda says this assignment will determine whether Christie has overcome her body issues. She tells Christie that she will be wearing a bikini top and shorts to have her body painted. In the confessional, Christie says she is thinking, "Holy crap," when Rhonda tells her about the assignment and she doesn't want to do it.

The women gather for group and Iyanla arrives. Iyanla calls Antonia up to sit next to her and asks her how she feels about graduating today. Antonia says she knows now that she can finish what she starts and that she can work hard to fix things in her life. Iyanla tells Antonia that she will be getting a makeover from Andy Paige today and then brings in Andy. Andy asks Antonia's housemates whether they have suggestions for the makeover. Jodi says she thinks Antonia should be open to getting her eyebrows done. Jill agrees and says it would give Antonia a polished look. Antonia is against it however, and in the confessional she says she is not going to do it. Andy and Antonia leave and group is adjourned.

Jill's father, stepmother, and two brothers arrive at the house. In the confessional, Jill says she can't explain the joy she is feeling at having her father's side of the family all come to see her.

Christie leaves to go get her body painted. She arrive at the Beauty Academy and meets with Jeff Siegel. In the confessional, Christie says she is nervous about this assignment, but is going to talk herself through it. Christie lies down on a table and Jeff and another man begin painting Christie's arms.

Antonia and Andy arrive at the clothing store called Ma Jolie, and meet with the owner, Lisa Stern. Antonia tries on various outfits and finds one she is very excited about wearing for her graduation.

Iyanla, Jill, and Jill's family sit down to talk. Iyanla thanks them for coming and asks Jill's father, Leonard, whether he has anything to share with Jill. Leonard says he is not an "advocate" of looking to the past and wishing things were different, but he is an advocate of looking to the future and hoping for things to come. He says back when Jill was conceived, he was living a very "self-centered" existence. He said there was a stigma concerned with having a child out of wedlock back then, so when he found out Jill's mom was pregnant, he "did the right thing" and married her. He says, however, that then his selfishness took over, and he wasn't able to stick it out in the marriage, and they winded up getting a divorce.

Iyanla asks Jill how she feels about what her father has said. Jill says she feels that she and her father made a mistake (when her mom got pregnant with her). Jill won't look at her father as she is speaking and Iyanla tells her to look at him. Jill starts crying. Iyanla tells Jill she has waited 40 years to talk to her father, and she needs to talk to him now. She says, "you can do it."

Jill is crying and she tells her father that she feels like she was a mistake. Leonard says that is far from true. He says he and Jill's mom never felt that way about her. He says he was just lost back then. Iyanla then asks Jill to share what she knows about the events that led to her father leaving. Jill says she was told that Leonard came home from the military, and when Jill's mom told him she was pregnant, he decided he didn't want a family and he left. Leonard agrees that this is basically the way it happened. In the confessional, Jill says she was thinking all along that perhaps the story her mom told her about Leonard wasn't true, but it turns out it is the truth. She says the realization is the closest she has come to feeling stabbed.

Jill says the biggest question she has is why Leonard never contacted her. She says his lack of contact made her feel that she was unwanted her whole life. Leonard then "humbly" asks Jill to find it in her heart to forgive him. Jill is crying, and so is Leonard and Leonard's wife. Jill tells her father that she forgives him and that she looks forward to their relationship as adult father and daughter. Leonard then asks his two sons who are also there (Brad and Winston) to forgive him as well because his early decisions fractured the family.

One of Jill's brothers, Winston, then speaks up. He says in their family they don't normally open up or get emotional. He says he knows how difficult it is for Leonard to be so open now, and he tells Jill that what their father is saying is genuine and truly heartfelt. He also tells Jill that he and Brad want a relationship with her too. Jill's step mom, Celeste, then says the dad Jill sees today is a "new dad." She says Leonard is being sincere and that "it's real." She says Jill will find love, support, and caring from them. Leonard and Jill then hug each other.

Andy and Antonia arrive at Wax Poetic to have Antonia's brows waxed. Andy thinks it might turn out to be difficult since Antonia's eyebrows are an "issue" for her. Antonia is initially nervous, but then lies down and has her eyebrows be waxed. When it is done, Antonia looks much different and she really likes her new look.

Rhonda gathers the housemates and brings in Christie (who is back from having her body painted). Rhonda tells the women that the body paint was a way for Christie to express herself. Christie shows them the artwork on her arms. In the confessional, Rhonda says it is now time to see whether Christie knows how the 5k applies to her (Christie's) life. Rhonda asks Christie how it applies, and Christie says it reaffirms that she can do challenging things in her life and not "breakdown." She says she has truly learned to love and accept herself. Rhonda then brings out a gift bag for Christie. Inside the bag, Christie finds a pair of running shoes. Inside one of the shoes is a scroll; the scroll reads, "you're graduating." She shows the women and they all hug and congratulate her.

SO graduate, Kelly, arrives, and with her is Antonia's roommate from college and best friend, Danielle. Rhonda, Stan, and Iyanla arrive next. Everyone gathers and waits for Antonia to arrive for her graduation.

Antonia comes in and is very excited to see Kelly and Danielle. She hugs them and then takes a seat as Iyanla goes to the podium.

Iyanla says that Antonia brought power and energy to the starting over house. She says Antonia came into the house thinking she was a "grown-ass woman," but then realized she was mistaken. Iyanla says Antonia came to the house to clear up her debt, and then they flashback to Antonia's meeting with Robert Kiyosaki. Iyanla then says Antonia looked at an issue she didn't want to face; her issue with her father. They flashback to the exercise she and Iyanla did called "pin the dollars on the daddy." Iyanla says Antonia wasn't ready to go any further with that issue after that. In the confessional, Iyanla says that as Antonia matures she will be able to reconnect with her father and deal with those issues. Iyanla continues her speech and says that she and Antonia then moved onto practical steps Antonia needed to take to get out of debt. She says Antonia faced the mountain, which represented her debt, and they flashback to Antonia making her way up the mountain while her housemates blocked her way. Iyanla says her hope for Antonia is that she continues to allow life to bring her people and experiences that call forth her genuine nature. Iyanla and Antonia hug and Antonia cries.

Stan goes to the podium next. He says it sometimes takes him years to help a patient reveal her authentic self. He says it took one minute for Antonia. He says he realized that Antonia had not made the transition from childhood to adulthood. He says that as they unpeeled her layers they also found Antonia's "ethical self." He says Antonia has now made the transition to adult life. He hugs and congratulates Antonia.

Jodi is next to the podium. She says she is joyful for Antonia, but also sad because their journey together is ending. She says she became friends with Antonia, and they became like sisters. She says she then found herself wanting her mother Antonia and saw her as the child she never had. She tells Antonia she is proud of her and that she loves her. They hug.

Niambi goes to the podium next. She says she can't do this without crying, even though that is usually not the way she is. She tells Antonia she loves her and that at times in the house, Antonia was the only person with whom she felt safe. She says there were times when the only reason she stayed in the house was because Antonia was there. She says she doesn't want Antonia to leave, but that she deserves to graduate. She says Antonia has an innocence and a passion, and she wants to "be just like you when I grow up." She tells Antonia she will always be there for her. She is crying and tells Antonia she loves her. Antonia, who is also crying, tells Niambi that she loves her too. They hug.

Rhonda, Iyanla, and Antonia then go to the podium, and Rhonda presents Antonia with her gifts. They are giving her $1500 towards rent, and $1500 towards buying new furniture. Antonia is very excited and appreciative. Iyanla then presents Antonia with her trophy, which reads, "Antonia, Rich in Spirit-Starting Over 2006."

Antonia then goes to the podium. She says when she got to the house, her life was in shambles and she was sinking. She says Starting Over chose her and that proves that everything happens for a reason. She says to Iyanla that she can't express in words her gratitude. She tells Stan that he is "one hell of a man," and Stan says she is "one hell of a woman." She say to Rhonda that she (Rhonda) has "as much passion" as she does. She says she knows now that all three of them were only there to help her. She says to Jodi that she didn't know what to do when Jodi graduated and she thought Jodi was leaving the house. She tells Jodi they will always be in touch with each other. She tells Niambi that they share the same language, but that Niambi's "heart is weak." She says she wants to see Niambi's heart grow strong. She says she and Niambi will "grow old together." She says the house has changed her life forever. Everybody hugs and congratulates her.

Iyanla brings Antonia out by the pool to light her candle. In the confessional, Antonia says her hope for herself is that she continues to be a responsible adult and she knows the "best is yet to come."

Jill, Jodi, and Christie are in the living room talking. Jill is telling them about how her father asked her for forgiveness. In the confessional, Jill says now that she has addressed her father, she desperately needs to have a conversation with her mother.

Preview: Christie could be in for the most dramatic makeover of her life. Niambi struggles to stay positive in the house. Jill tries to heal old wounds.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Someone Is Going To Graduate

The show begins with Jennie McNulty from Curves arriving. Niambi is on the phone with Situation Man (Lucius), and tells him that she has a sprained knee and twisted right ankle. In the confessional, Niambi says she called Lucius because he gives her a lift and tends to make her feel better.

The women go outside to have a workout with Jennie. Niambi can't workout with the women because of her injuries, so she sits on the sidelines and watches. In the confessional, Christie says it is hard to be in the house with Niambi. She says Niambi doesn't like her and is not taking the 5k race seriously because she (Christie) is the one organizing it.

Later Antonia is in the kitchen telling Niambi that she has decided against bankruptcy. In the confessional, she says bankruptcy is definitely a "no-go." In the confessional, Niambi says she is being an ear for Antonia, but is not trying to guide her decision. She says Antonia has a strong personality and couldn't be guided by her anyway.

Rhonda arrives and the women meet for group. Rhonda opens the plasma and shows a definition of bankruptcy. The definition says it means "utter failure or impoverished." Antonia says that is why she hates it and would never do it. Rhonda asks the women if anyone else has been bankrupt. Christie says she has been "emotionally bankrupt." Rhonda says many women at some time in their lives have been emotionally or spiritually bankrupt. She says that women often tend to fill up the "bankrupt" feeling with meaningless things, which only makes the void deeper (like food, alcohol, etc). Rhonda says money, for example, won't make you happy, and even if you married a man with a billion dollars, you still wouldn't feel proud or satisfied if you are emotionally bankrupt.

Rhonda asks the women about their worst period of bankruptcy in their lives. Christie says it is when she went to detox. She says she had to go through the detox all by herself. Jodi says Christie is very brave to have put herself into detox. Christie says she has compassion now for the person she used to be. Antonia says she was at her worst when she was avoiding creditors by not answering her phone or opening her mail. She says she was at the point of wanting to give up. Rhonda then announces that tonight they are having a board of review. In the confessional, Niambi says she has already gotten one "C," and if she gets another she will be asked to leave. In the confessional, Christie says she thinks Niambi is doing "C" work and she is not sure she should be off probation. Group is adjourned.

Rhonda arrives at a park and meets with Christie to go over the 5k course. They walk the course together and Rhonda asks Christie who she is worried about in the house. Christie says she is worried about Niambi. Rhonda asks whether Christie can count on Niambi. Christie says she thinks Niambi will do what she has to do, but that she is resisting her (Christie). In the confessional, Rhonda says the tension between Christie and Niambi is high and she is concerned about Niambi's ability to change.

Iyanla arrives and meets with Antonia. Iyanla tells Antonia she wants to acknowledge her effort yesterday in getting up the hill because it was rough. Antonia says it was rough and that her "tears welled up," but she didn't let them fall. Iyanla asks her why not, and Antonia says because tears mean weakness. Iyanla tells her that isn't true, and that tears can wash away negative thoughts and feelings. She then tells Antonia that that there is a distinction between a goal and a vision. She says a goal is merely work without a vision to which that goal will lead. She says a goal and a vision are part of a co-creative process. In the confessional, Iyanla says she is proud of Antonia taking ownership of her debt and is ready to honor her commitments.

Later in the day, Iyanla comes to the front door and announces that she has a special guest. All the women gather and then SO graduate, Jill, comes in. Jodi rushes over to hug her and says how happy she is to see her. Iyanla says Jill has had some major developments in her life and says that Jill has been in contact with her father. Jill says the first thing he said when they met was, "I love you." She says he apologized for how everything turned out. Iyanla says Jill is having difficulties with her mom as a result of Jill contacting her dad. In the confessional, Iyanla says Jill has come back to the SO house because it is a safe environment in which to deal with these issues.

Jill and Iyanla go to speak one-on-one. Jill says she told her mom that she might go to Vegas to spend Christmas with her dad, and her mom is upset. Iyanla says Jill did not move back to Miami after she left the house, and that her mom does not like to live alone. She says Jill's mom raised Jill all alone and now Jill is going to see her dad. She asks Jill how that might make her mom feel. Jill says her mom feels abandoned. Iyanla asks if she is abandoning her mom, and Jill says no.

In the confessional, Jill says when she is at odds with her mom, she feels at odds with herself. Jill tells Iyanla that she can't appreciate her newfound relationship with her dad because of the situation with her mom. Iyanla asks Jill how this stress is showing up in her life. Jill says she hasn't been eating the cupcake, but she has eaten its second cousin, the doughnut. Iyanla laughs and tells Jill she's crazy. Then they move on and Iyanla tells Jill that she (Jill) is experiencing mind-blowing events in her life right now. In the confessional, Jill says she wants to have a relationship with both her mom and her dad.

Iyanla asks Jill how she feels about her dad having two sons who he did raise. Jill says when she went to visit her dad, she found out he lives in this big, amazing house and they showed her videos of past Christmases, etc., and she felt like, "why didn't I get this?" Iyanla asks whether her two brothers knew about her and she says they didn't. Jill says she needs answers from her father, and she can't move ahead with a relationship with him until she gets them. Iyanla tells her she has invited her father to the house. Jill looks stunned by the news.

Antonia goes over the 5k budget with Christie. In the confessional, Christie says she knew she could count on Sommer and Jodi to help her, but she is blown away by how successfully Antonia has kept them under budget.

Iyanla and Jill continue talking. Iyanla says he told Jill's father that when Jill takes one-step towards him, he should take 1 1/2 steps because Jill was not a missing daughter; he was a missing father. Iyanla tells Jill not to let this challenge in her life regulate who she is as a person. Iyanla tells her that her dad and other members of that side of the family are going to be arriving in the morning.

The women gather for the BoR; Iyanla and Rhonda arrive. Rhonda goes over the grade structure and then Iyanla calls Niambi to the podium. Niambi states her goal and Rhonda asks her what she is doing well. Niambi says she is adjusting well, listening, and is conscious of her decisions and choices. Rhonda asks what she is not doing well. Niambi says she is suspicious and paranoid. Iyanla asks about what. Niambi says she is suspicious of people's intentions and paranoid that she doesn't have what it takes to make it in the house. Iyanla asks her what grade she would give herself. Niambi says she would give herself a "B." Iyanla asks the women one thing Niambi needs to work on. Jodi says she needs to acknowledge her weaknesses and that she still has a tough exterior. Christie says she needs to be more trusting of all of them. In the confessional, Christie says she is not sure Niambi has the capacity to embrace the process.

Rhonda asks the women whether Niambi should stay or go. All of them say she should stay, but Christie hesitates before saying it. Rhonda says her philosophy in life is to assume innocence. She says Niambi has yet to master that. Iyanla says Niambi's story is heartbreaking. She says Niambi was abandoned by everyone in her life. Niambi starts crying with her face down and while covering her eyes with her hands. Rhonda tells her to look up and allow them to see her. Niambi uncovers her eyes, but can't look at them. Iyanla says it must be unbearable to stand in the depth of Niambi's heartbreak. She says she herself couldn't do it. She says the most tragic part is that Niambi has abandoned herself and she doesn't know how to call Niambi back home. Iyanla then reveals Niambi's grade; she gives her a "B." She tells Niambi she would have given her and "A" if she would have trusted herself and asked for it. She says you get what you ask for... Niambi takes her seat.

Rhonda then calls Christie to the podium. In the confessional, Christie says she has been so busy that she didn't expect to get called up today. Iyanla asks Christie what she is doing well and Christie says she is doing "everything pretty well." Iyanla asks her what she needs to work on. Christie says she needs to trust herself more. Rhonda asks her what grade she would give herself, and Christie says an "A, definitely." Iyanla says Christie has a light that is very brilliant, but that Christie can't always see it. She says Christie has a sweetness and a genuineness about her. Rhonda says Christie doesn't always see how much love there is. She says Christie came into the house punishing herself and accepting scraps of love. Rhonda says Christie is going to have a test tomorrow and if she passes, she graduates. If she fails, she won't graduate. Christie asks what the test is, but Rhonda says she will find out tomorrow. Then Rhonda gives Christie her "grade," which is a blank piece of paper.

Iyanla then calls Antonia up to the podium. Rhonda asks her what she is doing well, and Antonia says she has contacted all her creditors, etc. Iyanla asks what grade she would give herself and Antonia says she would give herself an "A" because she has done all the work. Rhonda asks the women to name one good change in Antonia. Christie says Antonia asks questions and is willing to listen. Jodi says Antonia is open to feedback and is now a "woman." Rhonda says Antonia has a passion that is electric and contagious. She says she hopes Antonia will always keep her innocence and her passion. Iyanla says she always gets the "babies" (younger housemates). She says Antonia is edgy and brassy and thought she knew all the answers, when in reality she didn't even know the question. She says she wants Antonia to take the edge off a little. Iyanla says that as long as Antonia does that she will maintain the grade she is going to give her.

Iyanla then reveals Antonia's grade, which is an "A" and has a graduation cap on top of it. Iyanla says Antonia is graduating, and Antonia starts crying, thanks Iyanla, and then goes over and hugs her and Rhonda. In the confessional, Christie says she is "thrilled" for Antonia, but she wonders what hoops she has to jump through in order to graduate. The board of review is concluded.

Antonia is very happy and goes and tells Jill that she is graduating. Jill is very excited for her. Christie, on the other hand, is upset that she is not graduating. She talks to Jodi about it, and Jodi says she feels her pain. Christie is crying and hugs Jill. In the confessional, Christie says she is frustrated and "pissed." Jill tells Christie that she will tell her what Iyanla told her: "To whom much is given, much is required."

Later in the evening, Niambi is getting ready for bed. In the confessional, Niambi says she is happy she wasn't asked to leave, but a "B" is not an "A" and there is room for improvement.

Jodi and Jill are in the bedroom talking. Jill says her mom asked her what she (her mom) was getting out of Jill meeting her father. Jill says her mother doesn't understand that this is the best thing she could do for herself. She is crying because she is sad that her mom is not supporting her. She says it is hard to feel good about it and that it breaks her heart that her mom isn't there for her. In the confessional, Jill says she is disappointed that her mom won't walk this journey with her. Jill tells Jodi that her mother should know better and she can't believe her mom doesn't know she loves her.

Preview for next week: Christie is at the end of her rope. Jill isn't prepared for what her father has to say. The women say goodbye to Antonia. Dozens of faces from the past turn up to support Christie on her big day.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Climbing The Mountain

The show begins with Antonia arriving at the dentist's office. In the confessional, she says she is afraid that the procedure to fix her tooth might hurt, and she is also concerned about the cost. The dentist, Dr. Mark Stern, tells her that he can patch the tooth, but it would only be a temporary fix. He says to permanently fix it would cost around $900. Antonia goes for the temporary patch, which winds up costing her $200.

Rhonda arrives to meet with Christie. In the confessional, Rhonda says Christie has not prepared a detailed "battle plan" for her 5k run. Rhonda tells Christie that she only has four days left before the race. She tells her she needs to make a detailed list of each person's job, etc. She then tells Christie that she uses her lack of a college education as an excuse for not knowing things. She says it is time to eliminate this belief and is going to send over a very successful woman who doesn't have a college degree who can talk to Christie. Rhonda tells Christie that she might like to ask this woman to be her mentor.

Iyanla arrives to meet with Niambi (who is still dragging around her shadow, "Sasha.") Iyanla asks Niambi about the sign she made on the day Sommer found out she was graduating, which announced that she (Niambi) too was graduating. Niambi says it was sort of a joke and she probably did it because she is concerned about having an opportunity to finish what she started in the house. Iyanla tells her that graduating is a simple process and that all she has to do is complete her steps. She says, however, taht there are things standing in the way of Niambi completing her steps. She tells Niambi to put on her sweats and meet her outside.

Christie gets the t-shirt designed for promotion of the 5k. She shows the other housemates and they all really like it.

Niambi meets Iyanla outside at the tennis court. Iyanla has set up a hurdle with signs attached that describe each of Niambi's goals. In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi believes she can solve any problem all by herself and doesn't need anyone's help. Iyanla tells Niambi to jump over the hurdle with "Sasha" still attached to her ankle. Niambi tries, but can't quite make it over the hurdle with Sasha attached. Iyanla tells Niambi that there is no harm in saying she is not ready, and there is no shame in asking for help. Niambi tries to jump the hurdle several times and finally makes it over, but Sasha has become unattached from her ankle in the process. In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi has become very familiar with Sasha now and therefore it is time to create the flip side of Niambi's shadow--the powerful, beautiful side of Niambi. Iyanla tells Niambi that Sasha is not bad; she was simply necessary.

In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi has excelled at everything in her life, but is having a difficult time opening up and taking care of herself. She says she can sense Niambi's frustration and fear, and she feels that Niambi may not be ready for the next step. Iyanla tells Niambi about her new assignment--to attach tags to the other side of her shadow with the positive aspects of her personality. She also tells her that she no longer has to drag Sasha, but can carry her around now.

Antonia returns from the dentist and tells her housemates that she got a temporary fix and can't afford a permanent one right now. Then Iyanla arrives with Edward Jamison, a consumer credit debt consultant. Iyanla has Edward speak to Antonia about bankruptcy options. Edward tells Antonia about the different kinds of bankruptcy, and suggest that bankruptcy probably won't damage her credit more more than it is already damaged. Antonia says, however, that she will not go into bankruptcy no matter what. Antonia says bankruptcy is a nightmare word for her and she is strongly against it and will not change her mind.

After meeting with the credit counselor, Iyanla and Antonia go outside and Antonia shows Iyanla the flag she created. Iyanla really likes it. In the confessional, Iyanla says Antonia has a very steep climb ahead of her if she wants to eliminate debt and it won't be easy. She tells Antonia that there will be obstacles in her way and she brings out several blank white flags. On the flags, Iyanla writes potential obstacles in Antonia's path. She writes, lazy, attitude, etc. She tells Antonia that she is going to meet her later to demonstrate how these obstacles can get in her way to the top.

Cheryl Bianchi arrives to meet with Christie. Cheryl is a woman who is very successful in charity work and she does not have a college degree. Cheryl gives Christie advice on delegating tasks and tells her that she doesn't need a college degree to be successful. She says one of the best skills she herself has is in "rallying the troops." In the confessional, Christie says she realizes now that when she goes to get a job, they won't be looking at her education as much as they will be looking at her experience. She also thinks Cheryl would be a good person to inspire her.

Iyanla gathers the women (with the exception of Antonia) and tells them she needs their help with an assignment for Antonia. She gives them each one of the flags that have an obstacle written on it, and tells them that they are to symbolize Antonia's obstacles to becoming debt-free. She tells them they are all going to be going to a hill and they are to block Antonia's attempt to climb up the hill.

All the women are now at the hill and Antonia and Iyanla are there too. Iyanla tells Antonia that Jodi is going to be her support as she tries to climb up the fairly steep hill. Jodi and Antonia start going up the hill together. Jodi is at first encouraging Antonia and telling her she can make it. Iyanla has a bullhorn and as Antonia and Jodi make their way up the hill, she calls out, "we aware of obstacles," and "watch out for snakes," etc.

Antonia and Jodi get to the first "obstacle," which is Niambi. Niambi blocks Antonia's way and Antonia has to put a lot of effort into getting around her. She finally makes her way past Niambi by going through her legs. In the confessional, Antonia says she had to be like a "bull" to get past Niambi. She says that her body is weak and she is starting to feel numb. At this point, Jodi "turns" on Antonia and starts telling her it's too hard and they should just go back down the hill and give up. Antonia rests for a second, and then continues up the hill. She gets to Christie next and starts getting angry and frustrated that she is blocking her way. Meanwhile Jodi is shouting, "give up, Antonia!!" Antonia starts crying and is sits down to rest for a minute. Then she gets back up and keeps making her way up the hill. She keeps going past Sommer and finally sees the flag at the top of the hill. In the confessional, Antonia says the flag represents freedom to her. She gets to the top and waves the flag triumphantly.

In the confessional, Iyanla says she is impressed with Antonia's determination, but is concerned with how difficult she made it on herself. Antonia tells Iyanla that she could have made it up the hill all by herself and didn't really need any support. Iyanla tells her it isn't about getting up the hill; it is about how she got up the hill. She says the issue is how Antonia handled the struggle; not the struggle itself. In the confessional, Antonia says the easy path would have been bankruptcy. She says she would rather go through the sweat, dirt, and tears of paying off her debt, however, because she will appreciate herself more if she does that.

Niambi is limping after the exercise and in the confessional Iyanla says she is concerned that Niambi isn't asking for help. Iyanla says it is a perfect example of Niambi's issues. Iyanla says she is sending Niambi to an urgent care center to be checked out. She says that is difficult for Niambi because Niambi sees being hurt as a weakness.

The women return home and Rhonda arrives for group. Rhonda talks about mentoring and asks the women what it means to have/be a mentor. Jodi says she thinks you have to have a mentor because she probably wouldn't have made it to where she is without one. Christie says a mentor is a role model and is someone she can trust to give good advice. Rhonda says a mentor is someone you respect and admire who has the knowledge that you want to have. Rhonda then brings up Christie's assignment to make a board with an itinerary and assigned tasks for the 5k. She says she wants to go over it in a little while. In the confessional, Christie says she is nervous because she hasn't done the board yet.

After group, the women go into the room where Christie has her board set up; it is blank. She gets Sommer to write on the board the tasks of each woman, and they try to finish it before Rhonda comes in to see it. Christie assigns Antonia the job of budget coordinator, and in the confessional, Antonia says she is honored that Christie believes in her to do that job.

Rhonda comes in and looks at the board. In the confessional, Rhonda says nothing much has been written on the board. She asks to see the budget, and realizes that it isn't complete. Rhonda seems displeased and tells Christie that she asked her to complete these tasks three days ago. Christie says she got confused and didn't understand what she was supposed to do. Rhonda says she went over it with Christie and she doesn't believe that Christie was confused. Christie insists that she was confused.

Rhonda then tells all the women that from now on the 5k is a group effort and if one of them drops the ball, the whole project fails. Rhonda tells them to get everything together because tonight is the night to solidify plans for the race. In the confessional, Sommer says she believe there will be tension in the house in the coming days as they rush to get this project done.

Afterwards, Antonia calls one of her creditors and gets transferred around and has to wait to speak with someone. In the confessional, Antonia says if it takes sitting on the phone for hours, she will do it in order to clear up her debt. She says she is going to get it done one day at a time.

Niambi arrives back from the urgent care center. In the confessional, she says the doctor told her to keep both ankles elevated. She says they are both sprained. She says today was an exhausting day and she needs some down time.

Christie and Sommer are working on the plans for the 5k and Christie says she isn't going to ask Niambi for help tonight. In the confessional, Christie says it's obvious that Niambi is in no mood to help. In the confessional, Niambi says she is exhausted, tired, and frustrated. She says she is not as close to completing her goal as she thought and she has a lot of work ahead of her.

Preview: Niambi wonders if she'll make it to the end of the day (Rhonda announces a BoR). And Niambi's fate could be in Christie's hands. An SO graduate (Jill) returns to face a huge obstacle.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Niambi and Her Shadow

The show begins with Antonia searching the house for her eyeglasses. She looks around and gets Jodi to help her. When she can't find the glasses she says a prayer to Saint Anthony, the patron saint of lost things. A moment later, she finds her glasses under the bed. She tells Jodi that Saint Anthony always helps her.

In the confessional, Christie says she feels like she is out of her mind with stress over the 5k run. She says her housemates are stressing her out even more. In the confessional, Jodi says she is trying not to take over for Christie, but that a lot needs to be done in a short period of time.

Sommer calls her mom, Dyanne, and tells her she graduated last night. Her mom is very excited for her. Meanwhile, Antonia is in the kitchen trying to eat and avoid chewing on the side with the broken tooth. In the confessional, Antonia says she can't pay for a dentist unless it is under $200.

Iyanla arrives to meet with Niambi. In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi's goal is to Run Toward Life, but Niambi has a "darkness" looming over her that is keeping her from achieving that goal. Iyanla asks Niambi to name the four most dominant relationships in her life. Niambi names two: Situation Man (AKA Lucius) and her mom. Iyanla says Niambi has to relationships which are dishonest, critical, and inauthentic. She says when a relationship is inauthentic, the pain of it lingers inside.

Iyanla asks Niambi to describe how she feels inside. Niambi says she feels empty and like there is a void. Iyanla asks her the color of the "void" inside, and Niambi says it is black. Iyanla asks her to go inside the void describe how it feels inside of that blackness. Niambi says "Where am I? Where is the light switch?" She says it feels like God has forgotten about her. Iyanla tells Niambi that the place inside is not a place at all, but a person. She says it is a part of Niambi. In the confessional, Iyanla says everybody has a shadow self. She says it is our dark side and the place we put everything we suppress and cover-up. She says whatever we give to the shadow always winds up showing up in our everyday life.

Iyanla has Niambi stand in front of a large foam board. Iyanla then traces Niambi's outline on the foam, and has Niambi cut out the figure. In the confessional, Iyanla says that now Niambi understands she has a shadow, and that it is important for her to have recognized it.

Iyanla takes the large foam cutout of Niambi and places it over Niambi as Niambi is sitting on the couch. Iyanla tells Niambi she has seen her shadow side come out sometimes, and mentions that she saw it when Niambi was at the restaurant arguing with Christie. Iyanla asks her to name the characteristics of her own shadow. Niambi says her shadow is venomous, defensive, intolerant, etc. As Niambi names these characteristics, Iyanla writes them on cards and pins them to Niambi's foam shadow. Iyanla tells Niambi that her shadow protected her and took blows for her that she herself couldn't take. She says that when Niambi's shadow needed her, however, she wasn't there for her. Iyanla tells Niambi to spend some time with her shadow and come up with some more characteristics of it. In the confessional, Niambi says the biggest thing she wants to work on in the house is her "dark side."

Antonia calls one of her creditors to see if they will negotiate a settlement. In the confessional, Antonia says her tooth is broken and her head hurts, and yet she still has to call these creditors.

Niambi has written more characteristics of her shadow and pinned them to it. Iyanla comes back and goes over them. Niambi has written things like "Go to hell," and "I don't need this sh*t." Niambi says it is scary to see that these things are inside her and asks Iyanla if she has to be burdened with these things for the rest of her life. Iyanla says she just needs to acknowledge that these things exist. Iyanla then tells Niambi that each characteristic has a behavior attached to it. She says the first step is to call "her" (the shadow) up and truly acknowledge her. Then Iyanla ties Niambi's shadow to her ankle and tells her she will have to drag the shadow around (dragging it across the floor behind her). She tells Niambi that when Niambi eats, her shadow eats, etc. Niambi says the shadow is going to get messed up and all dirty, but Iyanla says her shadow is already that way. In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi is quickly going to make an intense connection with her dark side. She says that Niambi can then stare down her issues and move forward.

The women gather for group and Dr. Stan arrives. In the confessional, Stan says the women don't understand the significance of the 5k run. He says it has a larger purpose. He tells the women that he wants to talk about the race and find out why they believe they are participating in the planning of it. Jodi says she needs compassion for Christie because Christie has never done this kind of thing before. Jodi says she has been a project leader, and she needs to have compassion for Christie because this is her first time having that kind of responsibility.

Niambi says Christie is leaning on Jodi and Sommer mostly, and she hasn't been asked to participate very much in the planning. She says she would if asked. Christie asks her whether she is going to run in the 5k. Niambi says she isn't going to run, but is only going to walk the 5k (ED Niambi seems annoyed). In the confessional, Niambi says the women have unrealistic expectations about her performance in the 5k. She says she is no longer a "performance runner." Stan tells Niambi that Christie was only asking whether she (Niambi) was going to participate in the 5k, but that Niambi's reaction was strong and indicated that Niambi thought it was personal. Christie says that that's all she was asking--whether or not Niambi would be participating. Christie says to her, Niambi's participation is support.

Stan then tells the women that the 5k is about more than supporting Christie. He says the run is about running for women who do not have the resources to start over and change their lives. He says they are putting on this run for women who can't run. In the confessional, Sommer says Stan brought home what they are all doing with this race. She says it is a way to help many women. Stan tells the women that the premise of the run is to help women change their lives, and then group is adjourned.

Iyanla meets with Antonia and asks her how she is doing. Antonia says her tooth is broken, her sinuses are bothering her, and she has a pimple. Iyanla asks her whether she has made any progress in her financial issues. Antonia says she has called everybody and written down the amounts she owes, etc. Iyanla tells Antonia she is concerned about her. She says when she looks at Antonia she sees a gorgeous, powerful, talented woman... Then Antonia opens her mouth and reveals that she is behaving like a 14 year old girl. Antonia starts laughing. Iyanla says Antonia whines and creates drama. She says she is concerned Antonia doesn't have the self-respect and honor to sustain herself. She asks Antonia what she has learned and what will stop her from repeating her behavior and getting right back into debt. Antonia asks, "Are you serious?" She tells Iyanla that she never wants to be in debt again. She says all her time and effort would have been wasted if she went back into debt after leaving the house.

Iyanla asks Antonia what is "anchored in your soul" that will keep her from doing that. Antonia says it is her willingness not to get back into debt. Iyanla says Antonia needs a "battle cry" and a symbol of victorious behavior. Iyanla brings out a blank red flag and tells Antonia she wants her to create a symbol on the flag. In the confessional, Iyanla says the symbol will help Antonia remember "what she is fighting for," and will help her persevere through difficult times.

Jodi calls a MAC make-up representative and asks if she would like to donate goody-bags to the 5k. The woman sounds interested and says she will call Jodi back.

Antonia goes to Big Lots and shops for things she needs to create her symbol on the flag.

Niambi drags her shadow around the house. In the confessional, Niambi says her shadow is named "Sasha," and that this alter ego is combative and aggressive. Niambi tells Jodi that she has to drag "Sasha" all around the house. Iyanla arrives and says she has brought additional tags that Niambi can put on Sasha if she thinks of other characteristics she would like to add to the shadow. Niambi asks Iyanla whether she can just jump on her shadow and "beat her up." Iyanla says her shadow has taken blows for her for a long time, and Niambi shouldn't beat her up. Jodi then tells Niambi the story about her mask. She says that when she tried to break her mask with anger, the mask wouldn't break. She says Iyanla told her to do it in a loving manner, and she says the mask broke right apart really easily. Jodi tells Niambi that her mask got her to the house and protected her. She tells Niambi that like her mask, however, Niambi doesn't need her shadow anymore.

Atnonia finishes shopping and in the confessional she says she is acting responsibly now. She says she feels like anything is possible since entering the SO house.

Dr. Stan and Christie meet to talk about the 5k. Stan says Christie has been looking worried. Christie says she was very stressed out, but is calming down a little today. She says she feels a lot of pressure. Stan asks her what she usually does when she is under pressure. Christie says in the past she has freaked out, and then shut down and used food/drugs/alcohol to "numb out." Stan says she "numbed out" because it was easier than doing the work. Christie says she is doing the work now, but still feels a sense of "dread" about the run. Stan tells her to do what she can do, and that she can't do it all in such a short time. He tells her to prioritize. He also tells her not to afraid to ask for help.

Antonia asks Jodi to go with her to look at an apartment she is interested in renting. They arrive at the apartment complex and meet with the property manager, Rene. He shows them the apartment, and Antonia really likes it. Jodi thinks it's a very cute apartment too. Antonia tells Rene she doesn't have good credit, and he says they may ask for a larger deposit from her if she wants the apartment.

Dr. Stan and Niambi meet. Stan talks with her about her shadow. Niambi says that she wants to eradicate some aspects of her shadow, but she wants to soften the edges and not completely erase other aspects. Stan agrees that some characteristics just need to be softened and used in a healthy way. Stan then asks Niambi about Situation Man (Lucius). Niambi says she has been speaking to him. In the confessional, Niambi says things have changed with Lucius. She says he is no longer involved with the other woman, and has declared his feelings for her. Niambi tells Stan she wants a friendship with Lucius and then later decides whether to pursue something more. Stan asks her if this "friendship" includes sexual relations. Niambi says "this is 2006, Stan." Stan says she can do whatever she wants, but suggests that a friendship with sex included is what she has had with Lucius all along.

Antonia and Jodi return from looking at the apartment. In the confessional, Antonia says she will find out in 24-48 hours whether she has gotten the apartment. She says she is nervous about it. She tells Christie about the apartment, and Christie tells her that it was a very "big girl" thing to do. Antonia says it was a "grown-ass woman" thing to do.

Stan and Niambi continue their discussion. Stan says just because Niambi calls the "situation" between her and Lucius something different, it doesn't change the dynamic of the relationship. He says she is calling it something different, but acting the same. Niambi says she has issues with trusting Lucius. Stan says calling her relationship with Lucius a "friendship" will not keep her from getting hurt. He says Lucius is either going to be what she wants, or he isn't. In the confessional, Stan says Niambi is desperate to have this relationship with Lucius, and she will tell herself anything to continue with it. He says that is potentially dangerous. He tells Niambi that a relationship is destructive if it holds you back and tells her to think about her situation with Lucius for a while.

Antonia works on her flag. In the confessional, she says she has a lot going on today. She says before she would have just called it quits, and she is proud of herself for being responsible and doing all she needs to get done.

In the confessional, Niambi says Lucius knows "Sasha" (her shadow) better than he knows Niambi. She says she wants Lucius to know all the parts of her. She says her relationship with Lucius has not been a healthy one.

Preview: Antonia’s will is tested. Christie's 5k run could be on the verge of falling apart. And the women must step up to the plate.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Sommer Graduates

The show begins with Sommer receiving a phone call from Rhonda. Rhonda tells her that she wants her to gather the pieces of her bicycle and meet her at the park. In the confessional, Sommer says she is very excited and thinks she will be earning the rest of the parts of her bike today.

Iyanla arrives to meet with Antonia. In the confessional, Iyanla says Antonia is "knee-deep" in debt and she thinks it is time to get to the core of Antonia's issue. Iyanla has set up a board with Antonia's creditors listed. She tells Antonia to get together how much she owes each company and says that they may settle the accounts for less money than she owes if she calls and negotiates with them. Her assignment is to list how much she owes each creditor and then call them. Then Iyanla tells Antonia that she understands her (Antonia's) un-readiness to deal with her father issues. She says, however, that an opportunity has come up that would be of benefit to Antonia. SO graduate Jennifer is in town, and she has similar father issues. Jennifer's dad is also in prison and she wants Antonia to go have coffee with her today. In the confessional, Iyanla says Jennifer has things to say that Antonia needs to hear.

Sommer arrives at the park and meets with Rhonda. Rhonda tells her she has earned all six pieces of her bicycle and congratulates her. Sommer puts the bike together and Rhonda asks her if she ever believed she could do it. Sommer says she hoped she could, but didn't have complete faith. Then Rhonda tells her to close her eyes. When Rhonda tells her to open her eyes, there is a bike covered with a blanket. Rhonda takes off the blanket, and on the bike is a sign that reads, "Congratulations Sommer, you're graduating!!!" Sommer is very excited and she and Rhonda hug. In the confessional, Sommer says she has worked very hard and feels joy, but also sadness about the person she used to be. Rhonda then tells Sommer that she will be graduating tonight and then asks her if she would like to stay at the house after she graduates to help Christie with her upcoming 5k run. Sommer says she would like to stay and help.

Sommer returns to the house wearing the graduation sign backwards. She asks Niambi to turn the sign around. Niambi does so, reads the sign, and sees that Sommer is graduating. Antonia also sees it and the two women congratulate Sommer and are very excited for her.

Rhonda arrives and the women meet for group. Niambi has made her own "graduation" sign and is wearing it around her neck (It reads, "Niambi, you're graduating.") In the confessional, Rhonda says Niambi has to realize that graduation is about a lot of hard work. She says it took Sommer two years to graduate.

Sommer sits next to Rhonda and Rhonda talks about the humility and courage it took for Sommer to come back to the house after being asked to leave. Then Rhonda opens the plasma and reveals Sommer's completed steps. Sommer says she is very proud and she can't believe she is graduating. Rhonda says that Sommer has never had a makeover in the house, and then she brings in Andy Paige to take Sommer out for her graduation makeover. Andy comes in and tells Sommer she is thrilled for her. Andy and Sommer leave and group is adjourned.

Jodi and Christie go have a workout at Curves. In the confessional, Christie says she has a lot to do in regard to the 5k run, and she is feeling overwhelmed. She also says she has to see this as part of life; sometimes things get tough and she has to deal with that.

Sommer and Andy arrive at a clothing store called Billy's. Sommer tries on many different outfits, and finally finds the perfect one for tonight's graduation.

Antonia arrives at a restaurant called Marie Callender's and meets with SO graduate, Jennifer. She and Jennifer get a table and Jennifer tells her that her dad is in prison as well. In the confessional, Antonia says she feels immediately defensive and she doesn't want to talk about her dad to "strangers." Jennifer tells Antonia that her dad has a life sentence. Antonia says her dad isn't in prison for life, but she doesn't know how long he will be in prison. Jennifer tells her she had no intention of having a relationship with her dad, but Iyanla and Dr. Stan helped her to see that it would benefit her. Antonia says she does not want to have a relationship with her father, and she is not going to go visit him.

Jennifer asks Antonia whether she can see that her dad is human and that he made a mistake. Antonia says she can see that he is human, but she will not have a relationship with him. Jennifer asks Antonia whether she would want a relationship with her dad if she didn't have her mom in her life. Antonia says she doesn't even want to talk about that possibility. Jennifer says that Antonia's dad must feel very hurt not to know where Antonia is, or how she is doing in her life. Antonia says that is his problem. Then Antonia takes a bite of her food, and a piece of her tooth breaks off. She takes the piece of tooth out of her mouth and says she has to leave now and go call her mom. She says she has no dental insurance. She and Jennifer leave.

Sommer and Andy arrive at Blue Velvet Salon to get Sommer a new hairstyle. Sommer says she is excited about her new look and hopes her housemates like it, but what is really important is that she herself likes it.

IYanla arrives and meets with Antonia. Antonia shows Iyanla where her tooth broke. Then she and Iyanla go sit down to talk about the progress Antonia has made with her assignment. Antonia has not filled out the board with how much she owes her creditors. In the confessional, Iyanla says she knows Antonia is distracted by her tooth breaking, but not doing the assignment is unacceptable. Iyanla asks Antonia when her tooth broke, and Antonia tells her it was during lunch when she was talking to Jennifer about her dad. Iyanla thinks it is interesting that her tooth broke at that particular time. Antonia says she is going to call her mom to help her pay for to go to the dentist. Iyanla tells Antonia that she is a "grown ass woman" and that she needs to learn to handle things herself. Iyanla then asks her about her discussion with Jennifer. Antonia says she didn't want to talk about some of the things Jennifer brought up (about if her mom wasn't in the picture). In the confessional, Iyanla says Antonia worships her mom, who raised Antonia all by herself. She says that Antonia feels that even the thought of having a relationship with her father would be a betrayal to her mother. Iyanla tells Antonia she will help her find a dentist tomorrow.

Staring Over graduates Jennifer and Renee arrive for Sommer's graduation. In the confessional, Renee says she is doing well and is still attending the Art Institute of Phoenix. She says she and her father have remained close since her time at the house and she is very thankful to SO for bringing her and her father together.

Dr. Stan, Rhonda, and Iyanla arrive and greet Renee and Jennifer. In the confessional, Jennifer says she is engaged now, and her relationship with her dad and her sister continue to grow.

Andy applies Sommer's make-up and everybody gathers to wait for Sommer's entrance. In the confessional, Sommer says she knows now that she can choose to feel fear, but not let it rule her. She says she still feel insecure at times, but she can choose not to accept those feelings and continue on.

Sommer enters the room and everybody stands and claps for her. She is wearing a nice dress and has a new, shorter haircut that fits her face. Everybody takes a seat and Rhonda goes to the podium to begin the ceremony.

Rhonda says Sommer's original goal upon entering the SO house for the first time was to Lose Weight and Gain Self. They flashback to Sommer arriving at the house and telling her story for the first time. Rhonda says when Sommer entered the house she was a beautiful woman who had no idea who she was. She says Sommer's sense of self was a victim of every extra pound. They flashback to a wheelbarrow exercise Sommer did the first time she was in the house. Rhonda then says that Sommer faced her food issues and had started exercising, but then got distracted. She says Sommer desperately wanted attention and was interacting with the production crew. She says her brave housemates came forward and told her what Sommer was doing. Rhonda says she and Iyanla had to make a difficult decision to ask Sommer to leave the house. They flashback to the board of review when Sommer was asked to leave.

Rhonda says that when Sommer came back she had to apologize to everyone; even people she didn't know. They flashback to Sommer's second arrival at the house. Rhonda says after talking with Sommer she realized that Sommer was ready to achieve her goal this time. Rhonda talks about Sommer's exercise of putting the bicycle together and they flashback to it. Rhonda says Sommer is a different person this time around. She says she danced and opened up to her housemates. Rhonda then congratulates Sommer and they hug.

Stan goes to the podium next. He tells her he was very sad when she was asked to leave the house, but it turned out to be the best thing for her. He says she has now had a transformation and he is proud to have been a part of it. He says she not only looks like a different person, but she is a different person. He congratulates her and they hug.

Renee is next to the podium. She says she was blessed to have Sommer as her roommate when she was in the house. She says she could confide in Sommer, when she even though she was having trouble opening up to others. She says after Sommer was asked to leave the house, she came and visited her, and they watched Renee's graduation together and cried. She says Sommer had an emptiness in her eyes then because she didn't get to graduate. Renee says when Sommer told her she was going to go back to the SO house and try again, she was initially hesitant, but supported Sommer's brave decision and she is happy she did. She says her hope for Sommer is that she continues to dream big. Renee is crying and she and Sommer hug.

Jennifer goes to the podium next. She says she was also hesitant when Sommer told her she was going back into the house. She says she knows now, however, that it's the best decision Sommer ever made. She and Sommer hug each other.

Iyanla then goes up and presents Sommer with her graduation gifts. Iyanla announces that Sommer is getting a shopping spree in New York City with Andy Paige. They are also giving her a series of hip-hop dance lessons and the bicycle she put together. Then Sommer is presented with her SO trophy.

Sommer is at the podium and first addresses Stan, Rhonda, and Iyanla. She says they all embraced her and she realizes now that the first time she was in the house she "threw their love" back in their face. She says Iyanla talks in "spiritually flowery" language, and Sommer didn't "get it." She says, however, that it was Iyanla's words that echoed in her mind after she left the house. She says Stan called her after she left the house, and it meant so much to her. She tells Rhonda that she knows Rhonda made it possible for her to come back to the house. She says it means so much to her that Rhonda did that for her because she had felt very abandoned. She says to Jennifer and Renee that they also helped her get back to the house (by supporting her). She then thanks her housemates for their willingness to forgive her and let her back into the house.

Everyone hugs Sommer and then Rhonda brings Sommer out by the pool to light a candle. Sommer lights her candle, and in the confessional she says she has started over and finally closed a chapter in her life. She says it is exciting that she now gets to open a new chapter.

Preview: Antonia gets a wake-up call. The clock is ticking down to Christie's big day. Niambi tries to overcome a growing problem.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Sommer's Dance-Off and Jill Visits

The show begins with Sommer about her upcoming dance performance with Christie. She says she is freaked out about it and is afraid because she only has eight hours until she has to perform. In the confessional, Jodi says she woke up feeling exhausted. She says it is a surreal experience being in the house after she has graduated, and a part of her wishes she was on a plane going home.

Iyanla arrives to meet with Antonia to help her make a budget. Iyanla has Antonia write on cards her "wants" and her "needs." She then puts them into two categories on a board. After Antonia is finished, Iyanla tells her to come up with a budget starting with her needs. Antonia has a monthly income of $1600, so the budget cannot exceed that amount.

Niambi is in the confessional talking about Situation Man. She says he responded to her email, but he didn't really answer the questions she asked him. She says she has strong feelings for him, but she finds the situation scary because she thinks he is saying what she wants to hear.

Rhonda arrives to meet with Sommer. Rhonda tells her that Shane Sparks is going to come over to the house today to help her practice her dance one more time. Then she tells Sommer that the dance isn't only going to be a performance, it's also going to be a "dance-off." Sommer starts crying and says she feels stressed and frustrated. In the confessional, Rhonda says today is a "make it or break it" day for Sommer. She says the last time Sommer was in the house she was absolutely obsessed with how other people perceived her.

Sommer tells Rhonda she can only do what she can do. Rhonda tells her she is intellectualizing, and what she is really doing is trying to minimize her own pain. Sommer says if she doesn't do that, she fears she won't be able to get through the performance. Rhonda tells her she will get through the performance, and she has to trust herself. Rhonda then tells Sommer she is sending her shopping today to get clothes for the dance-off. In the confessional, Rhonda says she understands Sommer's nervousness because Sommer still sees herself as an "overweight little girl" and feels that the world is staring at her and laughing. She says she hopes this experience is transformational for Sommer and does not lead to a setback.

Iyanla meets with Niambi. In the confessional, Iyanla says she has asked Niambi to fill out a questionnaire which will help her identify behavioral patterns in her family. Niambi says one pattern is that there is a lot of divorce in her family. She says there are also multiple marriages. She says she has no use for the "institution of marriage." Iyanla asks her to define "relationships" and Niambi says she sees them as consisting of open communication, trust and sharing. Iyanla asks Niambi what she has with Situation Man, and Niambi says she has "a real mess." Niambi then shows Iyanla the email Situation Man wrote to her. Iyanla reads parts of it aloud. Situation Man wrote that he "like the sound" of what Niambi had written to him (about loving him outloud), and he thanked her for her honesty. In the letter, he also said he has tried to avoid her love, but is now open to it.

Niambi tells Iyanla she thinks this relationship has the potential to bring her a lot of pain. Iyanla says that the harder a person loves, the deeper the pain. Niambi says she is "frozen with fear" about getting hurt. Iyanla says it is not Situation Man who is causing her fear, but her beliefs. She tells Niambi she is sending someone over to help Niambi see her familial patterns and to help her get clear.

Christie makes a call to a company that is going to donate medals for the 5k run. In the confessional, she says she is not surprised that people are donating because it is such a great cause.

Shane Sparks, the dance instructor, arrives to meet with Sommer. He and Sommer go outside and practice her dance moves.

Melvin Allen arrives to meet with Niambi. He has a board set up and has Niambi write down the characteristics of her mom and dad in order to identify her family patterns. Niambi says her mom is independent, resilient, defensive, and has a closed heart. She says her mom is not very affectionate, especially towards men. Niambi says this exercise is helping her to visualize clearly her family history and her patterns of behavior. She says to Melvin that she is turning into her mom.

Iyanla meets with Antonia to go over the budget Antonia has created. Antonia has written down the cost of each of her needs and as they add them all up, she realizes that they total over $1700, which is more than her income. She and Iyanla go over things they can subtract from the needs list (like wardrobe expenses).

Jodi is on the phone with SO graduate, Jill. In the confessional, Jill says she is going to come back to the house because she has some special news to share with Iyanla. She says she first wants to share it with Jodi. She tells Jodi that she is going to meet with her father. She says it is a real blessing that she gets this opportunity. She also tells Jodi that she has talked to one of her brothers (she has not met him yet). Jodi asks her what her mom feels about her meeting with her father, and Jill says she hasn't told her yet. She says she is nervous about how her mom will react. Jodi tells Jill she thinks she is courageous and she is proud of her.

Sommer goes shopping at GrooveRiders, for clothes for her dance-off. She looks around and the store clerks help her pick out clothes. She tries on several outfits, but she can't find one she likes. She starts crying and calls Rhonda. She tells Rhonda that she can't find anything and it is ruining the whole day.

Iyanla and Antonia continue going over Antonia's budget. Iyanla suggests that Antonia get a roommate to help her pay expenses, but Antonia is completely opposed to it. Antonia says she would rather work two jobs.

Sommer is still at the clothing store and is on the phone talking to Rhonda. In the confessional, Sommer says Rhonda tells her it's a good thing that she is feeling her feelings and not stuffing them down.

Niambi and Melvin Allen continue their meeting. They go over her father's characteristics and behaviors next. Niambi says her father has had multiple marriages, is a womanizer, and emotionally abandoned her. Melvin says it's important to identify the emotional abandonment issue because Niambi is at risk of getting into a relationship with a man who will not be emotionally available to her (like her father).

Antonia arrives at the Ethan Allen store and meets with Janet Flisik. Janet tells Antonia that she is going to treat her just like one of her designers today. They go over a client's room design and Janet asks Antonia for input. In the confessional, Antonia says she is not equipped to be a designer and she hates the whole thing. She says she would rather hire someone to do this for her. Nonetheless, Antonia picks out fabrics and furniture for the client's new room design. In the confessional, Antonia says when she has to do something she doesn't want to do, she tries to make it fun and worthwhile anyway. In the confessional, Janet says Antonia did well in choosing a design for the client's room. She says she believes Antonia has a passion for design and came up with some great solutions.

Sommer is back at the house and is getting ready for her dance-off. In the confessional, she says tonight is big for her because of her trust and body issues. Jill arrives at the house and in the confessional, she says she is back to share her news with Iyanla.

Iyanla and Jill meet and Jill tells her she is going to meet with her father. Jill says she had a fantasy about how she would meet her father; she would be in her dressing room and he would walk in, etc. She says she has now realized that this fantasy was perhaps "false pride." Iyanla tells Jill that she is the gift (to her father), and she doesn't need to be successful or have gifts for him. She tells Jill she is not meeting him for acceptance or approval, but for love. Iyanla then asks Jill whether she has told her mom. Jill says the situation with her mom is "not good." In the confessional, Iyanla says the parent who raised a child all by herself may feel very threatened when the absent parent shows up. Jill says her mom hasn't verbalized her displeasure, but there is an energy there that Jill is betraying her mom by meeting with the father after all he did to her mom. Iyanla says there is never a case in which one person did all the bad things in a relationship; both people are always involved. Iyanla also says that Jill wants to meet and know her father, and it is as simple as that. Then Iyanla gives Jill a bracelet. In the confessional, Jill says after she watches Sommer's dance-off, she is going to go meet her dad, and she doesn't know what is going to happen.

Niambi has a short phone conversation with Situation Man. They joke with each other a little bit, and then he tells her to tell Sommer good luck at her dance competition.

Sommer arrives at Burbank Bar and Grill, where she will be competing in the dance-off. Shane Sparks is already there waiting for her and they go over her dance steps one last time. He tells her that her song will be the 11th song (10 other dance competitors will go before her). The housemates arrive as does Rhonda and Jill. In the confessional, Rhonda says the last time Sommer was at the house, she couldn't physically express herself at all. She hopes Sommer will be able to get over her body issues.

Shane is the MC for the dance competition. He announces each dancer and they go on stage and do a short performance. In the confessional, Sommer says she is freaking out and is not excited about dancing, but is instead scared. She says she just wants to get through it. Shane then introduces Sommer and she comes on stage and starts dancing (ED She is quite good and seems relaxed). In the confessional, Christie says she was very impressed with Sommer's dancing and didn't know she could move that way. In the confessional, Jodi says Sommer's dancing was awesome and very "high-energy." She says it was a pleasure to watch.

After the competition, Shane announces that Sommer is the "hottest dancer in America tonight." (ED I'm assuming she won the competition). In the confessional, Sommer says she had fun with the dance and she is very relieved it is over. She says she is trusting in herself and embracing being herself.

Preview: Christie begins to really feel the heat. Sommer gets a big surprise. Antonia gets a visit she wasn't ready for.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Jodi Graduates

The show begins with Jodi and Christie talking about Niambi and what happened at Jodi's graduation dinner last night. In the confessional, Jodi says it is a "bummer" that that there was so much tension at the dinner, but she says she is not going to let anyone take away her excitement about graduating today. In the confessional, Christie says Niambi's problems are not with her (Christie), but with herself. She says she is going to stand in her truth.

The women gather and Iyanla arrives for group. Iyanla asks Jodi to name her best change while in the house. Jodi says it is giving up control. She says giving it up gave her a sense of peace and a calmness that she loves. Antonia starts crying and Iyanla asks her what is wrong. Antonia holds Jodi's hand and tells her she doesn't want her to leave. Iyanla reminds her that Jodi will be staying on as a mentor, but Antonia says she never wants Jodi to leave. She says she loves Jodi. Jodi says she loves her too. Antonia says she has never seen any control issues with Jodi and that Jodi has always been good to her. Iyanla says that being in the house can awaken a depth of love that we may not have known existed.

Iyanla opens the plasma and shows Jodi's old self-portrait, which looks like a big sun with a frowning face. Jodi says she used to be on a "sunny" outside, but on the inside she was sad and lonely. Iyanla then shows Jodi's new self-portrait. In this one, Jodi has drawn herself surrounded by hearts. Sommer says it looks like Jodi has all she needs. Niambi says Jodi looks to be surrounded by grace and beauty. Iyanla says Jodi is connected to the things she loves. Iyanla tells Jodi that Andy Paige will be at the house later to take Jodi for her graduation makeover.

Iyanla then asks Niambi and Christie how things are going between them. In the confessional, Iyanla says that in order to support them, she is going to intervene in their dispute. Iyanla tells the two women that she is going to meet with them both to help settle things. Niambi says she is happy to hear that. In the confessional, Niambi says she hasn't spoken to Christie since last night, and she has some "choice words" for her. Group is adjourned.

Jodi leaves to meet Andy Paige. Farah arrives to meet with Antonia. In the confessional, Iyanla says it is very important for Antonia to step up and take her assignment seriously. Antonia and Farah go over the guest room floor plan together. In the confessional, Antonia says she is tired, but is going to stick it out. She says in the past she has given up when things got difficult, but she is going to finish this assignment.

Iyanla, Christie, and Niambi meet. In the confessional, Iyanla says she is going to support them in expressing their anger in a safe way. Iyanla tells them both to take this opportunity to clear up any difficulties between them. Niambi says she will start. She says she was tense at the dinner last night. She says what sent her over the edge was when Christie asked someone (I didn't hear who) to hold her hand and give her support when Jodi found out she was graduating. Niambi says that incident was just another example of how everyone has to "fall all over" themselves to support Christie. Niambi says Christie takes everything from everybody. She says nobody can drink because they all have to support Christie. She says "enough is enough."

Niambi continues and says what she felt from Christie from the moment she walked through the door is judgment. She says Christie judged her and said she wasn't supportive enough and not "present." Niambi says she thought everybody had to follow the rules of the house, but Christie seems to follow a different set of rules. In the confessional, Niambi says Christie doesn't practice what she preaches. In the confessional, Christie says she thinks she represents the "typical white woman" who has oppressed Niambi. Iyanla asks Christie to share her thoughts. Christie says she has a great deal of compassion for Niambi and that she "looks up to her." She says that she was trying to support Niambi, but Niambi told her that when she needed support, she would ask for it. Christie says she gave up after that. She says she didn't want to be perceived as a "bitch," and so she didn't want to call Niambi out anymore. Christie says she started "walking on eggshells" around Niambi. She says Niambi can be nice and loving and then turn angry in a flash.

Niambi says Christie is not new in the house and thinks she should set a better example. She says Christie should have showed her what support looked like. Christie says she doesn't know how to approach Niambi without looking like a "bitch."

Jodi meets Andy Paige at a clothing store. She tries on outfits and Andy helps her find a good one for her body type. In th confessional, Jodi says the outfit she chose is cute and different. She says she is mostly just happy to be spending time with Andy today.

An Ethan Allen delivery truck arrives and they deliver the furniture for the guest room. In the confessional, Antonia says the room is looking the way she had envisioned it and she is proud of herself.

Jodi and Andy are now arriving at a hair salon for Jodi's hair makeover. Andy says she wants Jodi to have a straight look with some curl to give her a modern appearance.

Iyanla continues talking with Niambi and Christie. She thanks them both for their honesty. She tells Christie that the reason she is having difficulties with Niambi is because Niambi represents who Christie used to be and she also represents a part of Christie that Christie has yet to embrace about herself. Christie agrees and asks Iyanla what she should do to embrace that side of herself. Iyanla says she has to stop judging it. Iyanla tells Niambi that Christie triggers her feelings about her (Niambi's) mother. She tells Niambi that she has to "clean up" her stuff. She says it is great that the two women trigger each other so much because it means they have a great opportunity to heal. Niambi and Christie are both crying and Christie hugs Niambi and tells her she loves her. Niambi tells her that she reminds her of things she needs to work on within herself. In the confessional, Niambi says she is going to do the best she can and she knows there are not shortcuts. She says the issue with Christie makes her realize she is still struggling with feeling worthy.

Jodi and Andy Paige arrive back at the house from the makeover. Then Rhonda, Iyanla, and Dr. Stan arrive for the graduation. Everyone gathers and waits for Jodi to make her entrance. Jodi comes in and the women clap for her. She has a very pretty new hairstyle and is wearing a flattering outfit. Jodi takes her seat and Iyanla goes to the podium. Iyanla says it wouldn't be a graduation without special guests. She then brings in SO graduates, Kelly and Jill. Then Jodi's mom, Karen, enters.

Iyanla begins the ceremony by saying that it was an honor to see Jodi's transformation. She says to see Jodi in "full flower" is a joy and she is honored to have participated in the unfolding. Then they do a flashback to Jodi's first day in the house when she told her story. Iyanla says that like so many of use, Jodi had lost her vision. They flashback to the first mirror exercise Jodi did. Iyanla says Jodi was in deep denial and needed a reality check. They flashback to the board of review when Jodi got a "C." Iyanla says that BoR was shocking for Jodi because in the past Jodi's efforts had always led to external successes. She says, however, that Jodi didn't need external success; she needed to go inside and discover herself.

Iyanla says Jodi then needed to take her mom off the pedestal and get her dad out of the mud. They flashback to an exercise Jodi did regarding that issue in her life. Iyanla says it took a while for Jodi to allow herself to feel, and she first began that process with the mask exercise. They flashback to Jodi painting the mask and her housemates evaluating it. Iyanla says Jodi was pretending to be happy and was in reality trying to control everyone around her. Iyanla says then it was time to let the mask go and they flashback to when Jodi threw her mask off the balcony. Then they flashback to the second mirror exercise Jodi did after she initially threw away her mask.

Iyanla says not to ever think you're done. She says when you're done, you're dead, and she says there are many ways to die. She says you can die to your dreams and to your vision. She says Jodi was "dead" to those things because she was not humble enough to receive them. Iyanla says her hope for Jodi is that she allows herself to be a "beacon of light" as a reminder to women to show up and "be." She tells Jodi she loves her and they hug each other. Jodi tells Iyanla she loves her too.

Rhonda goes to the podium next. She says when she looks at Jodi she sees a woman of great femininity. She says she hopes Jodi will continue to embrace her femininity, release freely and "wear more skirts." Jodi and Rhonda hug.

Dr. Stan is next up to the podium. He says he has a different take on Jodi. He says he saw her as a scared little girl who was still mediating in her parent's divorce. He says Jodi has done intense work on herself in the house and has achieved a great accomplishment. He says Jodi is an attractive, energetic, smart woman who any man would appreciate. He says she is a woman of incredible vitality with a remarkable spirit. He says his hope for Jodi is that she finds a man who accepts her for who she is.

Christie is next up to the podium. She says she had an instant connection with Jodi and is honored to have been on the journey with her. She thanks Jodi for accepting her and being so giving to her. She says her hope for Jodi is that she keeps shining her light. She tells Jodi she loves her and they hug.

Jill goes up to the podium next. She says that she has learned that we really all want the same thing--to be loved and respected. She says the Jodi she sees now is the Jodi she always knew was inside. She tells her she loves her.

Rhonda then presents Jodi with her graduation gift. They are giving her a 7-night stay at a singles' resort to "mingle with other singles." Iyanla then presents Jodi with her Starting Over trophy, which reads, "A Filled Cup-Starting Over 2005."

Jodi then goes to the podium. She says she is speechless because her heart is filled with so much gratitude. She thanks Iyanla and says she knows she was a challenge for her (Iyanla agrees). Jodi says she was also a challenge for herself and her problems were like a puzzle she couldn't figure out. She says Iyanla helped her find her way and instilled in her a passion and a passion to live. She says she will thank Iyanla by living life to the fullest. Jodi tells Rhonda that a lot of times she (Jodi) just couldn't "get it." She thanks Rhonda for helping her get it. Jodi then thanks Dr. Stan and says he opened her eyes. She says she was in denial and he helped her to see. She says now any man she dates will have to measure up to Stan.

Jodi then turns to Kelly and tells her that she loves the fact that they had to struggle in their friendship because she says the most difficult relationships are the ones that teach you the most. Jodi tells Christie that she has learned compassion from her. She says she will be there for her when Christie crosses the finish line. Jodi tells her mom that she looks forward to interacting with her in an authentic way. She tells her mom that she couldn't save her; that she had to save herself. She says she has in fact saved herself now and says she is ready to go live her life. She thanks everyone and says she loves them.

Iyanla and Jodi walk out to the pool together and Jodi tells Iyanla that she is very lucky to have Iyanla in her life. Iyanla gives Jodi a candle to float in the pool. In the confessional, Jodi says she has finally graduated and sees a bright future ahead. She says she feels amazing.

Jodi's mom, Karen, and Jodi stand outside together talking. Karen tells Jodi she now has the tools and the support she needs. And she says she also has her mom. Karen says she has taken off her mask too.

Preview: Sommer gets cold feet on her performance day. Niambi opens up about a growing fear. Christie feels like she is running out of time. Antonia refuses to face her issues with her father and her future in the house is unclear.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Jodi and Her Mom and The Argument

The show begins with Iyanla arriving to meet with Niambi. Iyanla tells Niambi that she looks like she is feeling better. Niambi says she emailed Lucius (AKA Situation Man), and he emailed her back. Niambi says he was supportive and encouraging in his letter and told her he misses her. Niambi, however, says she is still undecided about what she wants regarding the relationship. Iyanla says she doesn't believe that for a second. Niambi says she doesn't want to voice what she wants because she is afraid she can't have it.

Rhonda arrives to meet with Sommer. Rhonda tells Sommer to go put on a tank top. When Sommer returns, Rhonda writes on Sommer: She writes "full" on Sommer's left arm, "body" across Sommer's forehead and "expression" down Sommer's right arm. In the confessional, Rhonda says these words are to remind Sommer to embrace her body. She tells Sommer that she will be doing a dance performance for her housemates in two days. She is sending Sommer to the dance studio to meet with an instructor and choreograph a routine.

Iyanla and Niambi continue talking. Iyanla tells Niambi that we draw to ourselves what we are. She says if Lucius is lying and dishonest, it means Niambi is lying and dishonest about something. She tells Niambi to stop lying and asks her what she wants. Niambi says she wants to love Lucius "out loud." Iyanla asks Niambi if she is ready to be "healed" and Niambi says she is ready. Iyanla takes Niambi to the computer and tells her to write an email to Lucius. Then Iyanla tells her exactly what to write. Iyanla tells her to write "The Whole Truth" as the subject. She then tells her to write (paraphrased somewhat): "Please forgive me for being dishonest and a punk. The truth of the matter is I want to love you out loud, but was too proud to admit it. Forgive me for judging you for your bad behavior when I've done the same behavior. I'm getting better. I want to explore the possibilities for us both."

Niambi asks Iyanla whether she can tell him in the email that Iyanla made her write it. Iyanla says no and tells her to hit "send." Niambi sends the email. In the confessional, Niambi says when she hit send she wanted to throw up. She says she wants to take the email back because she feels stupid and scared for having sent it.

Iyanla tells Niambi that the way to deal with fear is to confront it, and that's what Niambi just did by sending the email.

Farah arrives to meet with Antonia about the guest room. They discuss the painting of the room, and Farah tells her what needs to be painted, etc. In the confessional, Antonia says she hopes her housemates will help her paint the room.

Iyanla and Jodi meet. In the confessional, Iyanla says Jodi thought she was ready to graduate before, but now she is going to get ready by tying up some loose ends. Iyanla talks to Jodi about tying up the loose ends in regards to her mom. Jodi says she does want to talk with her mom and find out what happened when Jodi was sent to live with her dad. Iyanla says she has someone she wants Jodi to speak with who can help Jodi with this issue. Iyanla leaves the room and comes back with Jodi's mom. Jodi is very excited to see her and Jodi and her mom, Karen, hug and cry when they greet each other. In the confessional, Jodi says she woke up this morning wanting to see her mom, and it is wonderful that she is at the house. She says it "feels her heart."

Iyanla tells Karen that Jodi has some things she wants to go over with her. Jodi asks her mom what happened when she went to live with her dad. She tells her mom that she can't even remember that time in her life. Karen says she had an abnormal pap test and was told she had to have an hysterectomy. She "freaked out" about the news, and lost her job. She had to go to a mental hospital to deal with things, and she sent Jodi to her dad's during that time. She says she was afraid she was going to die of ovarian cancer like her mom did. Jodi thanks her mom for being so forthright.

Sommer arrives at the Millennium Dance Complex and meets with Shane Sparks. He introduces his assistant, Rachel Kay. Shane and Rachel help Sommer put together a dance routine. In the confessional, Sommer says that every time she messes up, she gets more paranoid about dancing in front of people. She can't believe she only has two days to get it together.

Jodi, her mom, and Iyanla continue talking. Iyanla asks Jodi if there is anything more she needs to tell her mom. Jodi tells her mom that she had bulimia, but that when she told her mom about it, her mom didn't take it seriously. She tells her mom she was sometimes throwing up as much as three times a day. She says it was a cry for help. Karen apologizes to Jodi and says she was in denial. She says she just couldn't believe it was happening and she is really sorry she wasn't there for Jodi. Iyanla says that Karen has made a powerful acknowledgement. She says there are hundreds of thousands of daughters and sons who never get to here there mother acknowledge something like that. Iyanla then gives Karen and Jodi each a journal. She says the journals contain a timeline and she wants the two of them to go over their timelines together and fill in any missing pieces for each other.

Antonia is in the guest room painting. In the confessional, she says she is very stressed out. She says she hopes her housemates will help her, but she knows that they have things going on today. She says she didn't ask for their help, but she hopes they will volunteer.

Sommer continues her dance lesson. After it is over, Shane gives her a few pointers, and tells her to keep going over the routine. In the confessional, Sommer says she can only do what she can do. She says she has some fear and anxiety about the performance.

Jodi and Karen go to have coffee together. While they are there they go over questions that are written in the journals Iyanla gave them. One question is about body image issues. Karen tells Jodi that she didn't want to believe that she had bulimia and again says she is sorry for letting her down. Jodi says she had foods that would trigger her bulimia. Karen says she wants to know which foods are triggers for Jodi. She says she wants to know and she now accepts Jodi's problem. She says she wants to be there for Jodi and starts crying.

Jodi lists her trigger foods and her mom listens. Karen tells Jodi she is committed to her. Jodi says she feels that Karen has heard her. In the confessional, Jodi says she and her mom have an even deeper connection now. She says it is nice to be as honest as she can be with her mom about her struggles with bulimia and with men.

Back at the house, Christie asks Antonia whether she needs help painting. Antonia walks out of the room and says Christie can help if she wants to help. In the confessional, Antonia says it's obvious she needs help. She says she knows everybody in the house is not going to cater to her, and she is not going to ask them for help when they already knows she needs it.

Antonia is painting the room by herself. Jodi, Christie, and Karen are taking photos of each other. Niambi goes to help Antonia Then the women (with the exception of Niambi) wait in the living room for Antonia because they are all going to take Karen out to eat. In the confessional, Antonia says all the women should have helped her, and not just Niambi. Niambi and Antonia continue painting as the other women wait in the living room for them. In the confessional, Antonia says Christie doesn't want to help. She says she is not there for you when you need anything.

Niambi and Antonia clean up and get ready to go out to dinner with the other women. In the confessional, Christie says she could feel the tension from Niambi and Antonia before they even left for the restaurant. The women all get into the van and drive to Vittrio's Restaurant.

In the confessional, Niambi says she is feeling upset, but doesn't want to say anything in front of Jodi's mom. She says she is mostly upset with Christie. The women sit down to eat and Christie tells Niambi and Antonia that the SO house is a "dry house." Antonia says she wasn't there when that commitment was made, and Christie tells Antonia she is and adult and can decide for herself whether to have a drink at the restaurant. In the confessional, Niambi says she can understand the "dry house" rule, but she would like to have a cocktail at dinner and doesn't find that unreasonable. She says everybody has to do without because of Christie. In the confessional, Christie says Niambi is making sounds (of displeasure) at the table, and she wishes Niambi would just grow up.

Iyanla surprises everyone and arrives with a cake for Jodi. The cake says, "Congratulations, You're Graduating." In the confessional, Jodi says she knew in her soul that tonight was the night she was going to find out she was graduating. In the confessional, Sommer says she is very excited for Jodi, but there is a lot of anger at the table. Christie asks Niambi if she has something to say. Niambi says she is "extremely disappointed" that nobody helped Antonia paint. Antonia says she thought they were there to help each other. Christie says when she needs help she asks for it. In the confessional, Jodi says she is disappointed that they are behaving this way at her graduation celebration, but she says they are in the SO house for a reason.

Jodi tells Antonia that she offered to help her after her mom left. Antonia says she understands why Jodi didn't help because if her mom (Antonia's) were there, she would want to spend every waking moment with her too. Antonia says that Sommer and Christie, however, should have helped. Christie says that Antonia has "expectations." In the confessional, Christie says Antonia is being selfish. Antonia says she is not upset and then Iyanla speaks up and says that's absolutely untrue. Antonia tries to interupt her, but Iyanla tells her she is not going to let her do that. Iyanla says that this didn't need to happen at a restaurant. She says, however, that since it's already happening, they might as well have it out now.

Niambi says the other women (Sommer and Christie) are not being supportive. She says she is always jumped on for not being supportive enough. Iyanla asks Niambi what Antonia has to do with her (Niambi). Niambi says she has heard "comments" from Christie. Iyanla says, "So you got heat on Christie." She says this situation with Antonia was just a "trigger" for how Niambi's been feeling towards Christie. Niambi agrees.

Antonia then says that they should know how she is and they should have helped her. Iyanla tells her that she can't expect to get help if she doesn't ask for it. Iyanla says what she has seen here (from Antonia) is dishonorable, disrespectful, and dismissive behavior. She says if Antonia wants them to help her, this attitude isn't working.

Antonia says she would have felt better if Christie and Sommer would have asked her if she needed help. Sommer says she was planning on helping Antonia after dinner this evening. Iyanla says Antonia's feelings were hurt, but instead of telling them that her feelings were hurt, she went into anger because hurt feelings made Antonia feel vulnerable. She says that Antonia's hurt feelings prove that she needs Sommer and Christie, and that was too much vulnerability for Antonia to face. Then Iyanla says, "let's cut the cake and then get out of here." The attention is then turned back to Jodi and her graduation. Iyanla tells Jodi that she is graduating tomorrow, but she is not leaving the house. She says Jodi is going to stay to support Christie with her 5k and to be a mentor. Karen says her flight got changed, and she won't be able to come to Jodi's graduation tomorrow. Iyanla says the flight is not changed, and that Karen will be there. Karen is really excited that she is going to get to see Jodi graduate.

The women have returned to the house and Niambi is checking to see whether Lucius has responded to her email. He has responded and she and Sommer read over his email together. Niambi says the response is confusing. IN the confessional, Niambi says she doesn't want to get caught up into another destructive cycle with Lucius.

In the confessional, Antonia says there is now a line between her and Christie. She says Christie has "showed who she is."

Niambi and Sommer are outside talking. Niambi says she is not in AA and she is a "grown ass woman" and should be able to have a cocktail at dinner if she wants one. She says Christie is all "take, take, take."

Christie and Jodi are talking in the living room. Christie says she is "pissed." In the confessional, Christie says she has said what she needed to say. She thinks Niambi needs to "get over herself." She says if Niambi doesn't want the "angry black woman" rap, she should stop acting like an angry black woman.

Niambi and Antonia are now in the bedroom talking. Niambi says she has been getting her "ass handed to her" for not being supportive enough to the other women and that she just got to the house. She says, however, that Christie has been at the house a long time, and wonders what kind of example Christie is giving by not being supportive.

Preview: Niambi finally reveals what's really making her angry. Christie gets brutally honest. And Jodi receives a surprise she never imagined.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Raising Cain and Over Budget

This evening is the Wednesday 8PM ET chat! If you would like to participate, click on the live chat link (it's right under the FAQ link in the main forum), or click here. As always, you can use any username you like to enter the chat room. Everybody has a good time at these chats and all are welcome.

The show begins with Niambi in the confessional talking about Situation Man. She says she spent a long time debating about whether to send him the email she wrote, but finally decided to do so because there were a lot of things she needed to tell him. She says she wanted to share the changes she is making and the realizations she has had regarding their relationship.

Antonia finds an envelope from Iyanla telling her she will be going to the Ethan Allen store today and to bring her floor plans and ideas for the guest room with her.

Rhonda arrives and meets with Christie. They go over the flier Christie is developing for the 5k race. In the confessional, Christie says every time she thinks she has the flier completed, Rhonda suggests more changes. Christie tells Rhonda she wants to be finished with the flier today so she can get it out. Rhonda tells her that "simplicity" is the key. Rhonda leaves and Christie works with Jodi and Sommer on printing up the fliers. In the confessional, Sommer says Christie keeps turning to them before making decisions. Sommer thinks Christie is either not confident about her skills, or is looking for validation.

Dr. Stan arrives and the women gather for group. Stan says today's topic is about welcoming others and how much we feel welcomed. He says that sometimes a very outgoing person can make someone feel overwhelmed if they are "too" welcoming and can make a person feel like it is too much, too soon. Sommer says she has always been a people-pleaser, and she has been accused of acting fake when she greets someone enthusiastically. Stan says there is a difference between being friendly and being ingratiating. Jodi says she just puts her cards on the table and is who she is from the start.

Stan says people who are quiet and shy can sometimes be viewed as aloof and arrogant, when they are nothing of the sort. He says people who are shy and come off as "cold" are that way due to life experiences and usually wish they could be warmer. Stan says the world is a complex place and there are many factors (cultural, ethnic, religious, etc.) that can cause a person to feel unwelcome. Niambi says when she first walked in the house, she was surrounded by five white women and felt she had to go the extra step to fit in. She says she is not going to name names, but one person in particular seemed to want to stay away from her because she perceived her as an "angry black woman." Stan says that is interesting because Niambi does sometimes have that characteristic. He says it can be a way of protecting oneself, but it can also turn into a self-fulfilling prophesy. Niambi agrees.

Stan asks Niambi if she felt she had more in common with Antonia when she arrived. Niambi says she did feel that way immediately. Stan says when people feel threatened they tend to look for someone who is like themselves. He says the truth is, however, that Niambi may have more in common with Christie than she does with Antonia. Stan says it's sad that Niambi has trust issues because these issues make it difficult for her to get close to people. Niambi says she doesn't want to be "pitied" by anyone. Stan says she needs to suspend her suspicion and judgment. He says you have nothing to lose by being warm and inviting. Group is adjourned.

Antonia arrives at the Ethan Allen furniture store and meets with interior designer Farah Kathwari. She also meets Stacia Muse, another consultant. They go through the store and Antonia picks out furniture she wants to get for the guest room. She has a $10,000 budget, but doesn't appear to be asking about price. In the confessional, Antonia says she feels like a kid in a candy store.

Jodi helps Christie practice for her meeting with the t-shirt vendor she is going to have today. In the confessional, Jodi says she thinks Christie would like it if she (Jodi) took over the project, but she is not going to do that. She says Christie has what it takes to do the project.

Dr. Stan meets with Niambi. Stan says Niambi has trouble making decisions, especially when it comes to Situation Man. He asks her whether she has made a decision and she says she hasn't. She says she and Situation man has a lot of chemistry; she says it is so strong it is like gravity. Niambi also says that he is very protective of his girlfriend, with the exception of cheating on her with Niambi. Stan says he can't let Niambi believe that. He says no man is protective of a woman if he is cheating on her. Niambi says he takes care of his girlfriend's material needs and is like a father to her. Stan asks Niambi whether she thinks he is a good man with whom to be, except for his deception. Niambi really doesn't answer. Stan asks whether Situation Man has ever offered an exclusive relationship to Niambi. Niambi says has, but that she doesn't trust him so she declined. In the confessional, Stan says Niambi contradicts herself a lot in regard to Situation Man. He says he is going to have her meet with a specialist to help her make firm decisions. He tells Niambi that she is going to meet with Lisa Nichols, the author of Chicken Soup for The African American Soul. Niambi is excited about it and in the confessional; she says she is very familiar with Lisa's work.

Antonia has finished picking out furniture and she and Farah and Stacia go over the budget. Antonia has gone over budget and they choose things to put back. In the confessional, Antonia says she is a little nervous about the budget because she still has other things she needs to buy for the room and the furniture costs $9200.

Christie arrives at Best Promotions and meets with the vice-president of marketing, Patrick White, about the t-shirt design for the 5k race. After going over the details of the design, Patrick asks her how she is going to pay for the shirts. Christie starts off with some nervous laughter, but then asks Patrick whether his company will donate the shirts. Patrick agrees and says he would be crazy not to donate to such a good cause. In the confessional, Christie says she is very excited to be getting the shirts for free.

Dr. Stan meets with Antonia about her ongoing interior design assignment. Antonia tells him how much the furniture costs. Stan asks her whether taxes are included and Antonia says she doesn't know and hadn't thought about it. Stan says the taxes will be over $700, and Antonia wonders why the women at the store didn't tell her that. Stan suggests that it's because Antonia didn't ask. Stan tells Antonia that she has transferred her financial dependency issues from her family onto credit card companies. Antonia agrees and says that because she never had to pay her family back when they gave her money, she didn't consider paying the credit card companies back.

Niambi arrives at an office building and meets with Lisa Nichols. They sit down to talk. Lisa asks her about her pattern of decision-making in her life. Niambi says she makes a decision, and if it's a bad one she stays with it and "sucks it up." She says that is especially true with relationships and she realizes that she "stays too long." In the confessional, Lisa says women have a tendency to hand over their power to their partners. She says Niambi puts on the face of an independent woman, but underneath she is scared and doesn't trust her own judgment.

Lisa takes Niambi over to a hallway, in which there are three doors that are numbered. She tells Niambi to choose one of the doors. Niambi chooses door number three. Lisa tries to talk Niambi out of choosing that door, but Niambi sticks with her decision. Niambi opens the door and finds a board with "success" written on it. Niambi tells Lisa she really wants to be in a different place in her life. She says she wants to be able to get what she wants and needs in life. In the confessional, Lisa says Niambi can make the right decision, but after she has made up her mind, she then retreats into fear and becomes paralyzed with it.

Niambi is now holding the board with "success" written on it, and Lisa tries to take it out of her hands. Niambi holds on. Lisa says that this will happen and Niambi has to stand firm and hold onto her success. She tries again and again to get it out of Niambi's hands, but Niambi successfully holds onto "success." In the confessional, Niambi says she realizes she needs to stand up and make decisions. Niambi and Lisa walk hand in hand towards the door after they finish the exercise.

Rhonda arrives at the house with Richard Quinones, an LA prosecutor. She wants Richard to talk with Christie about her brother, Cain. Christie, Rhonda, and Richard sit down to talk. Richard tells Christie that he had a rough childhood and his father skipped out on the family. He says his mom had to work three jobs and things were difficult. He says his mom went to the Big Brothers organization and found a mentor for him. Christie tells Richard about her 12-year-old brother, Cain. She says Cain is basically raising himself and that the mom is a drug addict. She says she doesn't know what to do about it. In the confessional, Christie says she is very emotional about the situation with Cain. She says she feels very guilty and selfish for not taking him in.

Christie says she didn't have a mentor either, and she also went down the wrong road. She says things would have been so different for her had she had someone there to guide her. She says she was very lonely. Richard says he was very lonely too before he had a mentor. Christie says she wants to be a role model for Cain, but she didn't know what that looked like. In the confessional, Christie says Richard's story gave her a lot of insight. She says he is a huge inspiration for her.

Niambi and Antonia are in the bedroom talking. Niambi is talking about Situation Man. She says they want to hurt each other as "little as possible." In the confessional, Niambi says she feels like a fool over her relationship with Situation Man, but she can't make a decision about what to do yet.

Christie is lying in bed crying and Jodi is talking to her. She says she doesn't have a job and doesn't have any money. She wonders how she could support Cain. In the confessional, Jodi says she understands why Rhonda is pushing Christie. She says life sometimes gives you a lot of things that you have to handle all at once. In the confessional, Christie says she is very scared and doesn't know where to start as far as Cain is concerned. She says she doesn't know what to do.

Preview: Tension between Antonia and Christie heats up. Antonia gives everyone a piece of her mind. And a celebration takes an ugly turn.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

The Mask Returns

The show begins with Cassie packing up her things. In the confessional she says she is not just packing her belongs; she is packing support, love and hope for her future. She says it is not about leaving, but about going to a new beginning.

Iyanla arrives to meet with Antonia. In the confessional, Iyanla says Antonia seems quite content with only achieving half of her goal. She says she has a bigger exercise for her now that she hope will get Antonia out of her comfort zone. Antonia tells Iyanla she feels good about the poetry slam. She says she was successful because she persevered. Iyanla tells her she has a new assignment for her and is going to give her an interior design company. She tells Antonia that she will have five workers (her housemates), a professional interior designer to counsel her, and a budget. Antonia will have to redesign the guest room. In the confessional, Antonia says she just finished the poetry slam assignment, and now she already has another assignment. She says she doesn't know anything about interior design and doesn't want to do this exercise.

Jodi is in the confessional and she is upset. She says she has not been stuffing her feelings, but doesn't know how to deal with Christie, who she thinks is "passive-aggressive." Jodi also tells Cassie how she feels. In the confessional, Cassie says Jodi needs to be able to look at her behavior in order to move forward in her life.

The women gather for group and Iyanla enters. Today's topic is renewing relationships. Iyanla tells the women that when they go home they will have to get reaquanted with people in their lives that they knew before they had been transformed in the SO house. Jodi says when she left home she had a "take charge" facade and people will have to get to know the new Jodi. Iyanla then brings up Situation Man to Niambi. Christie interjects that she has a man she could go back to once she leaves the house, but she is choosing not to do that. Niambi says to Christie, "I am not you, Christie." Niambi says she still wants to see Situation Man because there were things left unsaid. Iyanla tells her that she can choose to clean that relationship up later and she herself is "clear." Niambi says she doesn't want to wait. Iyanla tells her she can "choose" whether or not to contact him, and doesn't have do it right now.

Iyanla tells the women that relationships come to us because we invite them into our lives. She says we invite certain people into our lives to learn something about ourselves, or to heal a wound inside of us and show us where we are broken. She encourages the women to "build the muscle of who you are now," and group is adjourned.

Dr. Stan arrives to meet with Cassie. He tells Cassie that she looks worried. Cassie says she does feel worried and says it's about feeling like she may have done something wrong when she contacted her son, Dustin. Stan tells her she didn't do anything wrong. He says she did a service by allowing Dustin to meet his biological mom, and she also achieved her goal. Stan says there is nothing wrong with letting Dustin know she exists.

Antonia calls her friend Danielle and tells her about the poetry slam. She also tells her she is excited about doing the interior design assignment Iyanla has given her.

In the confessiona, Iyanla says that she has arranged for Jodi's mask to show up today. She says Jodi believes she has it all figured out, and that this attitude is dangerous in the SO house. Jodi goes into her bedroom and finds her mask on her bed. She says "Why?" Christie walks in and sees it too. In the confessional, Christie says "God bless Iyanla" for showing Jodi that the mask can come back. In the confessional Jodi says she is angry and scared that the mask is back. She says she has been planning her graduation and starts crying. She says a part of her just wants to say, "f*ck it," and pack her bags when she sees the mask.

Iyanla arrives and Jodi answers the door and asks her why the mask is back. She and Iyanla go sit down to talk about it. In the confessional, Iyanla says Jodi's ego was bruised yesterday when Christie confronted her, even though Christie is her best friend. She says that is why the mask resurfaced. Iyanla tells Jodi that maybe the mask never went away. Jodi says she knows at least a part of it did. She says she is frustrated because she wants to be done and move on. She says she wants to go see her family and start her business. She starts crying.

Niambi sits by the phone. In the confessional, she says she has an overwhelming need to get in touch with Situation Man. She says how she feels is different from how she knows she should act.

Rhonda arrives to meet with Cassie. In the confessional, Rhonda says today is Cassie's last day in the house. She says Cassie's journey has had many ups and downs, and she has finally reached her goal. Cassie tells Rhonda she would be lying if she said she wasn't afraid of leaving. Rhonda tells Cassie she is going to meet with a woman who was reunited with her daughter after giving her up for adoption. Rhonda says this woman will be the final piece of support Cassie needs.

Niambi is still sitting by the phone and is now biting her nails. She finally picks up the phone and calls Situation Man. He answers and she asks if it's a good time. He says it's a great time. She asks how he's been, and he says he's been busy. He asks how she is doing and she says she has been doing a lot. She tells him she is going to email him and asks him if that's "cool." He doesn't respond. She says, "Hello? Hello?" There is no response and she finally hangs up the phone.

Jodi and Iyanla are still talking. Iyanla says she accepts that Jodi wants to go home and start her life. She says that Jodi's language, however, still says Jodi has challenges. There are many cups laid out on a table in front of Jodi and Iyanla. Iyanla fills one of them (that is labeled 'patience'), a fourth of the way up with sand. She asks Jodi if the cup is empty and Jodi says it isn't. Iyanla says Jodi needs to understand that it isn't "all or nothing." Iyanla tells her they need to identify what Jodi has learned in the house. Iyanla begins labeling the cups with things like "vulnerability," etc., and filling them with colored sand.

Cassie arrives at a store called Mother's Haven to meet with Michelle Guastallo. Michelle tells Cassie that four years ago she was reunited with her daughter that she gave up for adoption. She says she is very thankful that she was able to find her daughter and have her in her life. In the confessional, Michelle says the major thing she wants to share with Cassie is not to have expectations about what her relationship with her son will be like. Cassie says her journey to find her son has been long and difficult. She says, however, that she would have always regretted it if she hadn't found him. She says she always felt like a piece was missing. Michelle tells her she felt the same way before connecting with her daughter. In the confessional, Cassie says it feels good to know she is not alone.

Farah Kathwari, an interior designer, arrives to meet with Antonia. They go into the guest room together. Farah shows Antonia three different color schemes for the room, and asks Antonia to choose one. Antonia chooses the "spice" color scheme. In the confessional, Farah says Antonia seems to have a good instinct about color, but it concerns her that Antonia didn't ask about price. Farah tells Antonia that she has homework for her. She wants her to measure the guest room and draw out a floor plan before tomorrow. In the confessional, Antonia says she is not good at designing and doesn't know anything about measuring. She says she doesn't know where to start, and is cold, tired, and wants to go to bed.

Iyanla and Jodi continue their conversation. Iyanla takes each of the cups with the sand in them and pours them into a clear glass vase labeled "Jodi." In the confessional, Iyanla says Jodi is more than pieces and parts; she is a combination of all aspects of herself. The vase eventually spills over with sand. Iyanla says there is one thing missing and writes "humility" on one of the cups. She says without humility, Jodi's mask will keep coming back to haunt her. She asks Jodi if she is ready to "get humble" and Jodi says she is ready. Iyanla tells her to follow her.

Iyanla and Jodi walk outside by the pool. Jodi's mask is lying on the ground beside the pool. Iyanla asks Jodi what she is angry about, and Jodi says she is angry that the mask came back. Iyanla tells her the mask never left and that Jodi just made the "ugliness" pretty by softening her voice, etc. She tells Jodi the mask will come back over and over until Jodi deals with things. Iyanla has given Jodi a hammer and Jodi is kneeling in front of her mask. Jodi is crying and she tells the mask that she is going to let it go now. She thanks it for helping her to get this far, but says she is now going to walk alone. Jodi slowly breaks the mask with the hammer. In the confessional, Iyanla says she has told Jodi to break the mask calmly and without anger. She says she told her to do it with gratitude so that Jodi can reach the "deepest place in her heart."

Niambi is in the confessional, and she says she can't hold out any longer. She is writing an email to Situation Man.

Antonia is measuring the guest room. In the confessional, she says she hates it. She says she doesn't know anything about interior design and the whole exercise "sucks."

Cassie returns from meeting with Michelle and Sommer leads her into the dining room. All the women are there waiting and yell "surprise" when Cassie enters. They have gifts for her and have surprised her with a "mother's day" celebration. Rhonda arrives to join in on the celebration. In the confessional, Antonia says Cassie initially triggered hateful feelings about her father, but now she sees that everybody make mistakes and she accepts Cassie. In the confessional, Rhonda says Cassie's journey has been exciting and "fraught with emotion." Then the show begins a montage of Cassie's time in the house. The montage ends with Cassie meeting her son.

In the confessional, Sommer is crying and she says it is hard to say goodbye to Cassie. She says the selfish part of her wants Cassie to stay. In the confessional, Cassie says she is very thankful to everyone. She says there was no greater gift in the world than getting to meet her son. She says she has started "over and over and over again." Everyone hugs Cassie and she leaves the house.

In the confessional, Niambi says she has been working on an email to send Situation Man all evening. She says she is holding off on sending it because she wants to make sure she has said everything. She shows Antonia the email and Antonia gives her advice about what to say in it. In the confessional, Antonia says Situation Man is a waste of Niambi's time. Antonia says he is selfish and is using Niambi.

Jodi is in her bedroom talking with Christie and crying. She apologizes to Christie for the way she behaved yesterday (when Christie confronted her). Christie says she had to tell Jodi how she was acting even though it was scary. Jodi says she is glad Christie told her and that she will be more receptive next time. In the confessional, Jodi says she is figuring out the new Jodi now and plans on completing what she started.

Preview: Christie gets a huge wake-up call. Niambi reveals how she really felt when she first arrived at the house. Antonia struggles to complete her assignment.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Poetry Slam And Control Issues

The show starts with Antonia going over the details of her poetry slam event with Niambi. In the confessional, Antonia says she is supposed to turn $100 into $500, but she will be happy if she makes at least $200 at the event.

Dr. Stan arrives to meet with Sommer. Stan wants to discuss Sommer's body image issues and reminds Sommer of when she would not put on a bathing suit the last time she was in the house. They flashback to Sommer refusing to put on the bathing suit. Stan asks Sommer to grade herself on how she feels about her body now. Sommer gives herself a "B-." She says she is okay with looking at her body in the mirror now, but that there are still things she would like to fix. Sommer says when she went to San Diego after she left the house the first time, people commented on how confident she appeared. She says this assessment meant a lot to her. Stan says the secret of success is to look and act the way you feel on the inside and that Sommer has learned the secret. Then Stan tells Sommer she is going to be meeting with a dance instructor who specializes in sensual dance.

A "handyman" arrives at the door. In the confessional, Iyanla says she has sent the "hunky" handyman to get the women's attention for an assignment. The handyman comes in and gives the women a note from Iyanla. The note says that the women have some repairs to make around the house and they have 45 minutes to complete them. The handyman sets a timer for them. He says he can't stay to help them, and he doesn't have any tools to leave with them for the "repairs." The handyman leaves, and the women realize they don't have tools for the three jobs listed on the note and they have to improvise. Jodi apparently takes over and starts directing the other women. They work on changing a door handle, removing a faceplate from an electrical outlet, and changing the washer on the bathroom sink. Jodi is supervising the work and the other women seem to be getting annoyed. In the confessional, Christie says she wonders who died and made Jodi the boss.

Antonia takes of the faceplate and then meets with the other women who are still working on changing the washer on the sink. In the confessional, Cassie says they are running out of time and Jodi's bossy attitude is not helping. In the confessional, Christie says she is frustrated because Jodi is not listening to anybody. The timer goes off and the women did not get to complete the projects.

Iyanla arrives and the women meet for group. Iyanla asks them how their repairs went. Jodi says they didn't get to finish because they didn't have the right tools. In the confessional, Iyanla says she is not surprised the women couldn't finish without the appropriate tools. Iyanla asks the women about the tools they need to achieve self-sufficiency in their lives and the women list things such as self-worth and support. Iyanla says when we don't have the right tools for a job, we feel helpless. Then she tells the women that she has a surprise for them. Iyanla brings in two women, Eden Jarrin and Heidi Baher, of the company, Be Jane. Heidi explains that she and Eden own their own homes and learned to do repairs in their homes themselves. Heidi and Eden lead the women into another room where tool belts and tools have been set out for them.

Each woman takes a tool belt and the women from Be Jane help them with projects around the house. Antonia is not participating and is instead taking a nap. In the confessional, Stan says they gave Antonia permission not to participate in this group activity so she could work on her poetry slam event that is to take place this evening. He says instead of taking that time to make preparations, Antonia has decided to sleep. Antonia wake up and meets with Dr. Stan.

Stan tells Antonia that he doesn't think she has shown perseverance. Antonia thinks she has. Stan asks her about her preparation for the event and Antonia says she has invited six people and has handed out fliers. Stan asks her how many people she hopes will attend, and Antonia says she wants about 30 people to be there. In the confessional, Stan says he is surprised that Antonia doesn't seem very excited about her event tonight. He thinks she doesn't understand the importance of it.

The other women continue working on projects around the house. Jodi is monopolizing the situation. In the confessional, Christie says Jodi is dominating the instructors' attention and Christie says she is very annoyed. When Jodi walks out of the room with the instructors, Christie talks to Cassie and Sommer about how she feels. Cassie says she tried to talk to Jodi about her behavior earlier, but Jodi attacked her. Sommer thinks Jodi will yell at her if she says anything. Cassie tells Christie to just keep going and talk to Jodi about it later when the instructors are gone.

Stan and Antonia continue talking and Stan asks her if she thinks it is important to make money. Antonia says she thinks it is, but is frustrated by the short notice she was given to do this assignment. Stan says sometimes short notice can force someone into quicker action. He asks Antonia if taking a nap was the best use of her time. Antonia says the event is only four hours away and she has already done everything she could do. Stan says that she should be brainstorming and calling people, etc., until the last minute.

The women move onto their last project in the house, which is to recover a footstool. Jodi appears to have put herself at the center of this project as well. In the confessional, Jodi says she is unsure why some of her housemates have a bad attitude, but she is not going to let them take away from her enjoyment or enthusiasm for these projects.

After they finish with the footstool, the instructors from Be Jane leave. Antonia has finished meeting with Dr. Stan and she goes and tells Christie that Stan thinks she is being to "lax." In the confessional, Christie says Antonia is looking for her to agree with her that it was okay to take a nap, but that she doesn't agree. She thinks Antonia isn't taking her assignment seriously enough.

Sommer arrives at Millennium Dance Complex and meets with Cat Dukes, a dance sensuality expert. Cat says she teaches women to do "exotic" dancing. She and Sommer sit and talk for a little while and then they begin Sommer's dance lesson. They do an exercise in the mirror in which Sommer is to dance seductively while looking at herself. In the confessional, Sommer says there was a time when she could look in the mirror. She says when she did, she didn't see herself. She says she was invisible to her own eye. She says she is uncomfortable with the sensual dance and that this exercise is asking a lot of her. Cat moves onto another dance exercise in which Sommer is to maintain eye contact with Cat as she walks seductively towards her. Afterwards, Cat says Sommer has learned knew skills and seems happy with herself.

Antonia makes some last minute calls for her poetry slam tonight. Iyanla arrives to meet with Jodi. Jodi shows her the various projects they did today and then they sit down to talk. In the confessional, Iyanla says the projects brought to the surface issues on which Jodi still needs to work. Iyanla asks Jodi about areas in which she still needs change. Jodi says she has to have an open conversation with her mom. In the confessional, Iyanla says Jodi has had control issues to the point that she even "controlled" her own memories. Iyanla says Jodi made up stories about her past and believed them even though they weren't true. Iyanla asks Jodi about anything else she needs to look at before graduating. Jodi says she needs to deal with her father issues and learn to accept his love in the way he knows how to give it. Iyanla tells Jodi that she has developed like skills now, but that there will be a "final exam" before she can graduate. She tells Jodi she can't study for this exam, and that she won't know what it is, or when it is going to take place.

Sommer has returned from her dance lesson and Stan arrives to talk with her about it. Sommer says she had fun and got into her body for a little while during the lesson. She says she had a "panic moment" when she had to look the instructor in the eye and walk towards her suggestively. Stan says that is because Sommer's issues with judgment surfaced. Stan asks Sommer how she would like to create more opportunities to be sensual, and Sommer says she doesn't know if she wants to do that.

Antonia leaves the house for the poetry slam. She arrives at Coffee Junction, where the event is to take place. She sets things up and in the confessional she says she is getting nervous because the first poet had already arrived and the place is not yet filled.

SO graduate Jill arrives and greets Jodi and the other women who have just arrived. SO graduates Jessica and Linelle are also in attendance. The MC, Poetri, gets up and introduces the first poet. Several performers go on and the place now seems to be packed with people. In the confessional, Jodi says tonight is an amazing night for Antonia and it appears to be a success for her. Antonia goes on stage after the other performances are done and thanks everyone for making the night a success. Then she reads something she has written. It is about a guy who lived near her whom she found attractive. After she finishes, they all clap for her and then she introduces Iyanla. Iyanla goes up and reads an interesting piece she wrote about endings. Everybody thoroughly enjoy it. Later Antonia counts up the money she has made for the event, as Iyanla watches. Antonia made $256. In the confessional, Iyanla says Antonia has only achieved half of her goal. She says she is going to give her another assignment to achieve the other half, and it will be Antonia's final opportunity to she wants to get her act together.

The women have returned home and Christie is in her bedroom with Jodi. She tells Jodi that she will not be "bossed around" by her. Jodi says she was not being bossy (when they were working on the projects they did earlier in the day). In the confessional, Jodi says she had noticed Christie's absence when they were working on the projects around the house. She says it hurt her feelings. In the confessional, Christie says she is annoyed with Jodi, but loves and cares about her a lot, which is why she feels she has to confront her. Christie tells Jodi she is not the only one who felt that Jodi was acting bossy. Jodi says she is not going to change who she is for anyone. She tells Christie that she wishes Christie had as much compassion for her as she does the other women. She says she feels that if she doesn't act the way Christie wants her to act, then Christie has issues with her.

Preview: Jodi is outraged. Antonia's next task could be her last. And Niambi gives into temptation.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Positive Self Talk

The show begins with Niambi in the confessional saying she feels frustrated and misunderstood after last night's board of review. She says she now feels unsafe in the house. They show playing cards hidden around the house, and Jodi finds a scoreboard with each woman's name on it in the living room. There is also a note from Iyanla that says the women are each to find 15 cards hidden in the house and keep track of how many they have found on the scoreboard.

The women look around the house and search for the cards. Christie finds one card, and then says she feels tired. In the confessional, she says this "game" isn't fun and she doesn't want to look for any more cards. In the confessional, Antonia also says she doesn't like this game. She says she has a headache and doesn't have enough time to look for these "stupid cards."

Later the women gather for group and Iyanla arrives; she has the scoreboard with her. She says Christie only found one card, Cassie found 14, Sommer found 9, and the rest of the women found 7 each. Iyanla says how they played the game this morning is a direct representation of how they live their lives. She says there are four ways in which to live. One way to play is to play to lose. She says when a person is playing to lose; she makes excuses and uses distractions. Christie saying she was too tired to play indicates that she plays to lose. Another way to play is to play not to lose. When a person plays to lose, her goal is not to lose, but not to win either. The third way to play is to play not to win. She says when a person is not invested in the outcome of the game, she is playing not to win. The fourth way to play is to play to win. When a person plays to win, she is giving 100% of herself.

Iyanla asks Antonia what percentage she gives of herself, and Antonia says she gives 100%. Iyanla says Antonia only gives 65%. Antonia thinks that is "too harsh." Iyanla says it is the truth and that Antonia just gives enough to get by. Antonia seems a little angry by this assessment. In the confessional, Iyanla says that Antonia has a sense of entitlement and thinks she deserves it all even when she is only giving 65%.

Iyanla asks Niambi how she plays the game, and Niambi says she doesn't know anymore. She says she definitely doesn't give 100%. In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi was used to blaming her father for everything, and the exposure last night that her mother is abusive is still causing her to suffer. Niambi says right now she is just playing to stay in the game and she doesn't feel safe at the moment. In the confessional, Niambi says she feels she can't be enough right now no matter how much she tried. Iyanla says Niambi is playing not to lose right now.

Christie says she realizes she has a lot to do with the race, her issue with her brother, etc. She says she is scared and is playing not to lose. Iyanla tells her to focus on the most pressing issue in her life, and Christie says that issue would be the upcoming race. Iyanla tells them all to consider how they play the game throughout the day and then group is adjourned.

The women make breakfast and Niambi has just finished eating when Iyanla finds her for an exercise. She puts a blindfold on Niambi. In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi has blindfolded herself to what caused her problems, and now she is going to blindfold Niambi so that she can focus on the inside. Iyanla takes Niambi by the hand and sits her down in a room off the living room.

Iyanla then asks Niambi to name the things her mom said to her and how she criticized her. In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi is playing over and over again in her mind the critical things her mom said to her when she was a child. As Niambi lists the things her mom said to her, Iyanla writes each one on a CD as a physical representation of the verbal abuse. Niambi, who is still blindfolded, says her mom pinned all her hopes and dreams onto her. Iyanla asks if she hates her mom. Niambi says she does. Niambi speaks the words her mom said to her as a child. Her mom said "your little ass makes me sick," and "you're always messing up everything." Iyanla writes each phrase on a CD and pins it to a board beside Niambi.

Iyanla then tells Niambi she is about to push her and she gives her permission to push back. Then she yells the things Niambi's mom said at Niambi. Niambi starts crying. She shakes Niambi's chair and continues saying all the horrible things Niambi's mom said to her. She tells Niambi to "push back," but Niambi just cries at first.

In the living room, Christie and Antonia can hear Iyanla yelling at Niambi. Christie starts crying and says she feels so bad for what Niambi had to experience as a child. In the confessional, Christie says her heart is breaking for Niambi and that she can relate to her. She tells Antonia that how bad she feels, but Antonia really doesn't respond.

Iyanla continues trying to push Niambi to fight back. she yells "push back!" and "fight!!" Niambi says "you make me sick too!" She says "you are the reason you don't have any grandkids!" She also says that her mom is the reason she is there and that her mom should be the one at the SO house. She says she is not going to end up like her mom--alone, with no man and no money. Iyanla tells her she is right. She tells Niambi that she is coming around the last curve now and she wants her to "go for the win." Niambi screams, "I hate you!!" Iyanla then asks Niambi what she wants her mom to know. Niambi says she wants her to know that she is "mad as hell." Iyanla then has Niambi stand up (she is still blindfolded) and gives her a pillow. She tells her to hit the chair with the pillow and to let all her anger out. Niambi hits the chair over and over and yells "leave me alone!" repeatedly. When she is finished, she is crying and Iyanla hugs her.

Iyanla then helps Niambi to sit back down and Niambi takes off the blindfold. Iyanla tells her she has done well. Niambi then sees the CD's Iyanla has written on placed on the board beside her. Iyanla breaks one of the CD's, and tells Niambi that these phrases mean nothing. Iyanla then tells Niambi to go wash her face and rest, and to think about better messages she can give herself that replace the negative ones her mom said. She says they will meet again later.

Christie calls Step Up, the mentorship organization for women. In the confessional, she says she feels unprepared and is afraid to call. She calls anyway, however, and speaks to Alex Brandt. Christie asks whether a college education is required to be a mentor with Step Up. Alex says the only requirements are that you're a woman and that you want to help.

Iyanla meets with Antonia about her upcoming poetry slam. In the confessional, Iyanla says Antonia has less than 24 hours to prepare, and yet she is only giving 65% to the project. She asks Antonia some questions about her preparedness, and it's clear that Antonia has not done much today. She hasn't given out any more flier, etc. Antonia says her biggest concern is that nobody will show up. In the confessional, Iyanla says Antonia still hasn't prepared and she is interested to see how she will make up for lost time. Antonia says it will feel good if she accomplishes this task successfully.

Rhonda arrives and meets with Christie. Rhonda tells Christie that she is to the Step Up office today and meets with the women there regarding sponsorship of the 5k race. Christie says she feels insecure because she doesn't have a college education. Rhonda asks her if she believes it is only women with degrees who can succeed; Christie says she doesn't believe that. Rhonda tells her that the race is a metaphor for Christie's life. She says Christie's willingness to take on this challenge will not only help herself, but will also inspire other women. Then Rhonda gives Christie an assignment. She hands her two stacks of paper--one blue and one pink. She tells her to write on one color each step towards her goal of having a successful race. On the other colored paper, she is to write how each step relates to her own life. Christie is to tape these papers to the staircase in the house. Christie takes the papers, and then tells Rhonda she is scared, but she is going to succeed with the 5k race.

Antonia calls Poetri, who is going to be the MC of her poetry slam. He tells her he has 6-7 poets lined up to perform, but that there is no way they will pay to perform. Antonia accepts that because she says she has no other choice.

Niambi arrives at the Valley Center Studios to meet with Iyanla. She says she doesn't know why Iyanla wants to meet with her, or what they are going to do. Niambi sees Iyanla waiting for her and they go inside the studio. They sit down and Iyanla tells Niambi that she is going to record new messages to replace the negative messages she was given as a child. She asks Niambi to name some new phrases and Niambi comes up with "I am infinitely successful," to replace "I am a failure." They come up with a positive phrase to replace every negative thing said to Niambi. Then Niambi goes into the recording booth and speaks each positive phrase as a recording engineer records her. In the recording booth Iyanla has placed the CD's with the negative phrases written on them on the wall behind Niambi. When Niambi speaks the phrase, "I am shining," Iyanla suggests that she sing it instead.

Christie arrives at the Step Up office and meets with two women from the organization. In the confessional, Christie says she has never done anything like this before, and she feels intimidated. She goes over the details of the race with the women, who both seem very nice. The executive director, Danielle Craig, tells Christie that her story is very interesting and inspiring to other women.

Back at the studio, Niambi is hesitant and a little shy to sing at first, but eventually she sings it (ED: her voice is beautiful).Niambi then sings the line "I am shining" a few times and Iyanla tells her to go down deep inside herself and bring that feeling up. Niambi does so and sings the line a final time. Iyanla says she has done a great job. After they make the recording, Iyanla goes into the booth with Niambi and together they break the CD's with the negative phrases on them. In the background, Niambi's recording is playing. Iyanla tells her to get used to her own voice because it is beautiful and deserves to be heard.

Niambi returns home from the recording studio and tells Jodi and Antonia about it. Christie then returns from her meeting and starts working on her assignment to create steps towards her 5k race goal. Cassie sits and talks with her and Christie tells Cassie that she thought about drinking this evening. She says she wasn't going to do it or anything, but she heard a song on the way home which reminded her of when she drank a lot. Cassie encourages Christie to find a support group once she leaves the house.

Later, the women eat dinner and Antonia talks about her upcoming poetry slam. She says she doesn't want to do "spoken word" and does a mocking rendition of a spoken word performance. The other women listen and laugh. After dinner, Christie calls Rhonda and leaves a message for her. She tells her the meeting at Step Up went well, and she thanks Rhonda for "helping me heal my soul."

Iyanla arrives and tells Niambi she has a present for her. She gathers all the women in the living room and brings out a CD player. She plays the recording Niambi made earlier, and all the women close their eyes and listen. They all appear to like it a lot. Afterwards, Iyanla tells Niambi that her assignment is to listen to that CD twice a day. Niambi says she will do that and she and Iyanla hug.

Preview for next week: The women's frustration with Jodi boils over. Christie takes a stand. Jodi's past returns to haunt her. Niambi can't control her addiction (to Situation Man). Antonia throws a fit.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Board Of Review-Jodi and Niambi

The show begins with Christie telling Niambi that she would like to have a talk with her. She tells Niambi that she doesn't want her to be "side-swiped" at the impending board of review regarding what she might say, so she wants to tell her beforehand what she has observed about Niambi's behavior. She says that Niambi has done amazing work, but that whenever people are at the house, Niambi hides herself away and isolates.

Cassie and Jodi talk about the BoR. Jodi thinks she and Niambi will be called up, but Cassie thinks it will be Sommer and Antonia who are called. In the confessional, Jodi says she doesn't want to hear that she may not be called up and get her "C" turned into an "A." Cassie says she is usually right about these things, however.

Niambi tells Christie that she admits that when she is tired, she is a different person. Then she tells Christie that she finds it difficult to talk with her. In the confessional, Christie says she finds that interesting and she feels Niambi may not be used to having people support her. Niambi tells Christie that she and Sommer both have a tendency to "swoop" in on her and to coddle her. She says she knows, however, that it is not easy to love and care about her. Christie says she doesn't feel that way at all about Niambi. Niambi then thanks Christie for having this talk with her because she knows she can be "intimidating."

The women gather for group and Rhonda and Iyanla arrive. Rhonda describes the grading structure and then Iyanla calls Jodi up to the podium. Jodi states her goal, which is Fill the Empty Cup. Iyanla asks her what she has done well. Jodi says she has given up control and resistance and has allowed herself to be vulnerable. She says she is able to see herself with "humanity" now. Iyanla then asks her what grade she would give herself, and Jodi says she would like to ask for an "A."

Rhonda then asks the women to give Jodi feedback about one good change they have seen in her. Christie says Jodi has taken off the mask and has helped her with her goals. She says Jodi no longer tries to take over, but instead supports and holds her up. Cassie says Jodi now has unconditional love for herself. Niambi says Jodi always tells the truth, even when it isn't easy to say or hear. Sommer says she has heard about Jodi's controlling issues, but she hasn't seen her behave in a controlling manner even once.

Rhonda then asks the women whether Jodi should stay or go. Christie is crying and says that she thinks Jodi is ready to go out and live her life. In the confessional, Christie says that Jodi is her big sister, her pal, and her friend, and she will miss her if she leaves, but she is ready. Then Iyanla says Christie doesn't get a vote on whether Jodi should graduate or not, so Christie says Jodi should stay. All the other women also agree that Jodi should stay.

Rhonda says she has seen Jodi begin to soften and that when she is softening she is beautiful. Then Rhonda brings up Jodi's weight. Jodi says she weighs 206lbs. In the confessional, Iyanla says this is the first time Jodi has publicly stated her weight, and it indicates to her that Jodi is growing. Iyanla tells Jodi that she is concerned that Jodi may deplete her "cup" and forget to offer to others only the "overflow" of the cup's contents. She says Jodi's behaviors have changed, but now the real work can begin. Iyanla then gives Jodi and "A." Jodi thanks her and takes her seat.

Iyanla calls Niambi to the podium. In the confessional, Niambi says she is not nervous and she is going to answer all questions as honestly and as truthfully as possible. Niambi states her goal, which is Running Toward Life. Iyanla asks her what that goal means. Niambi says it means learning to accept herself and to trust her own judgment. In the confessional, Christie says she has a lot of compassion for Niambi; she worries that if Niambi doesn't open up, she will be asked to leave the house.

Rhonda asks Niambi what she is doing well. Niambi says she is now aware that she is pushing love away and that she can be defensive. Iyanla asks her what she needs to work on, and Niambi says she needs to work on being more vulnerable. In the confessional, Sommer says it is hard to watch Niambi because she has so much fear inside her and her road is going to be difficult.

Iyanla asks Niambi what vulnerability means. Niambi says she used to think being vulnerable meant being weak, but now she knows that it means she is open and available. Iyanla asks her what it means to surrender. Niambi says it means she has to have faith that she is where she needs to be. She says it also means trusting herself and the process.

Rhonda asks Niambi what she is not doing well and what is holding her back. Niambi says she is not accepting support fully and that she is not 100% used to the structure of the house. Iyanla says Niambi isn't making sense and she doesn't understand what she means. She tells her to "speak English." Niambi says she hasn't been cooperative. Iyanla says Niambi is not "showing up" yet and his hiding herself away. She says that Niambi has always been coached and told what to do, and that this is the first time in her life that she is making decisions for herself and she "doesn't have a clue."

Rhonda asks Niambi to name her deepest fear regarding being in the house. Iyanla tells her to close her eyes and think about it first. Niambi says she is still running and her deepest fear is that she will mess up in the house and not "do it right." Rhonda asks her how she would feel is she did mess up, and Niambi says she would feel stupid and like a failure. Rhonda asks her if she would think she is a failure and Niambi says she would. Rhonda asks who else would think she is a failure. Niambi says, "My family--my father." Iyanla says she doesn't believe that. She says there is a smokescreen being put up by Niambi. In the confessional, Iyanla says something doesn't "smell" right. She says she suspects Niambi's issues are not with her father.

Iyanla says to Niambi that this has nothing to do with her father. Niambi starts crying. Iyanla says Niambi's father left and he was gone. Niambi cries even harder and then says, "She loves me though." Iyanla says, "Nobody says she doesn't." In the confessional, Iyanla says that in the African American community, speaking about your mother in a negative way is a big taboo (ED: it's that way in all communities, IMO). Iyanla asks Niambi, "What is the lie?" She says until they get to the truth, they are just "swatting at shadows."

Niambi says she can never do anything right, and is never good enough in her mother's eyes. Iyanla asks her whether she has spoken about this truth before now. Niambi says she has only spoken about it in anger and only a few times. Iyanla asks her whether she is willing to speak about it now. Niambi says she is ready to fight for her life. Iyanla tells Niambi that she can't save herself by protecting her mother. She says Niambi's truth does not threaten her mother. In the confessional, Antonia says she can't at all relate to Niambi because her whole family loves her unconditionally.

Iyanla asks Niambi again, "what is the lie?" Niambi says the lie is that her father is responsible for everything and is the "bad guy." Iyanla asks if there is more, and Niambi asks her to help her. Iyanla says she doesn't know what it is, but that she has Niambi's back. She tells Niambi she will go with her to wherever Niambi's journey takes her.

Rhonda asks Niambi whether she is willing to accept the support of her housemates. Niambi says she has to learn how. Iyanla then says asking Niambi what she thinks her grade should be is like "kicking a dog when he's down." She says it is a ridiculous question to ask of Niambi and so she doesn't ask. Rhonda says she wants to find out what the housemates think and asks them to name one good change in Niambi. Christie says when Niambi is being vulnerable it is the most beautiful thing she has ever seen. Jodi says she can tell Niambi is allowing more of her true self to come out. She says she wants to see the "complete Niambi." Cassie says she sees Niambi's compassion for others, but she doesn't have compassion for herself. Antonia says she needs Niambi to be in the house so that she can learn how to be there for her. She tells Niambi she wants her to stop seeing herself as a failure. Sommer says she can see when Niambi is open for feedback, and that Niambi seeks out feedback when she wants it.

Iyanla tells the women that she wants them to share with Niambi from a place that is broken within themselves. She says that Niambi won't be able to hear their constructive criticism unless they do it from that place inside themselves that is also broken. Christie says she and Niambi both have issues with confrontation. Jodi says Niambi protects herself in the same way that she protected herself. She says the mask she wore hasn't served her well because it made her forget who she was. Cassie says both she and Niambi have a lost little girl inside them, and they both pretend they have it all together when they don't. Antonia says she and Niambi both let the wrong people into their lives, and don't accept the "right" people. Sommer says she and Niambi both have issues with looking stupid and doing things the "wrong way."

Iyanla says when she was growing up, she was also criticized. She says she constantly heard that she couldn't do anything right, that she was nothing, and that she messed up everything. She says it was bad enough that she heard these things over and over, but the crime and the devastation of it all was that she believed it. She says one day someone looked her in the face and said, "You are the daughter of whom God is well pleased." She says she didn't believe it, but she kept saying it to herself. She says she was single, 21 years old, with three babies and living in the projects at this time. She says she just kept telling herself that same phrase, and one day it stuck. She says she has never been the same.

Iyanla tells Niambi that she doesn't believe she is lovable. She says there is no explanation for the way Niambi has been treated. She tells Niambi that she has to "take down" anybody who stands in the way of trying to save herself; it doesn't matter who it is. Then she reveals Niambi's grade. Iyanla gives Niambi a "C," but on the grade card she has also written the words, compassion, commitment, and change. She tells Niambi she has to be committed to change moment by moment and whoever gets in her way must be "taken down." She says Niambi is not on probation; she is on parole. She says there is a distinction and that if Niambi leaves this house, she will be going back to "prison." Niambi takes her seat. In the confessional, Sommer says she hopes Niambi can rally from this experience because it is terrible to be sent home. In the confessional, Christie says Niambi has a tough rode ahead of her and has to make a conscious effort to change. The board of review is concluded.

Iyanla goes and hugs Niambi, who is crying. As they hug, Iyanla says, "you are the one with whom God is well pleased." Niambi is sobbing and repeats the phrase several times as they continue hugging. Then all the women gather around Niambi and give her a group hug. They all repeat, "You are the one with whom God is well pleased." In the confessional, Jodi says the Starting Over process happens with the five other women in the house. She says the group hug is a way to show Niambi that if she can't say that phrase for herself, they will say it for her until she can.

Preview: Niambi is pushed to her breaking point. Christie's fears take over. And Antonia wants to give up.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Sommer Dances And Antonia's Frustration

The show begins with Rhonda arriving and the women gathering for group. Rhonda is wearing feather boas and she passes one of them out to each woman in honor of the topic today, which is sexuality. Rhonda asks the women how they express their sexuality. Christie says she acts flirtatious and coy. Antonia says she doesn't ever tease, but instead expresses her sexuality through good conversation. Someone mentions kissing, and Rhonda points out that kissing is not teasing, but is an actual expression of affection. Jodi says that it is possible for a woman to teach a man to be a better kisser, and Rhonda says the more comfortable a woman is with her body, the more likely it is that she will teach her partner what she likes.

Antonia says she is a "Catholic school girl," and is apparently embarrassed about the sex talk. Rhonda asks her whether she is a virgin, and Antonia says she isn't. Rhonda says a lot of women think sex is intimacy, but it isn't. Cassie says she used to give sex to get love, and she thought men would love to get sex. Niambi asks Rhonda what to do if a relationship has been more about sex than anything else. Rhonda tells her she has to change it up. She says if the man is unwilling to go along with that change, then that should be a wake-up call. Rhonda then announces that there will be a board of review this evening and group is adjourned.

In the confessional, Jodi says she thinks she will be called up at the BoR. She says she got a "C" last time, which means she has been on probation. She thinks she will get off probation at this BoR. Cassie is in the kitchen talking to the other women. She says she has done everything she could do, and she is not going to let herself get worried about the BoR.

Christie and Jodi go to Curves together to work out. In the confessional, Christie says she enjoys working out now and that it brings out her sexuality.

Iyanla arrives at the house and meets with Antonia. Iyanla asks her how she is doing with planning to turn the $100 Robert Kiyosaki gave her into $500. Antonia tells her about her ideas concerning an open mic night and talks about having a special guest. Iyanla asks her about specifics, but Antonia doesn't have any. Iyanla then tells Antonia that she must set up the whole event on Friday (the day after tomorrow in SO time). Iyanla has already arranged a venue for the event and gives Antonia the details. Antonia is afraid and feels like she can't do it all on such notice. Iyanla says Antonia has had this assignment for weeks, and has yet to do anything concrete. Iyanla tells Antonia that she needs to have two things accomplished concerning the event before the BoR.

Rhonda meets with Sommer and they discuss how Sommer has been feeling. Sommer says she feels a little sad because she realizes she is not yet free. Rhonda talks about Sommer's goal to be able to dance and tells Sommer she is sending her to a dance studio today for a lesson. Sommer says she is afraid and excited, but it is in a good way. She says she is just not going to listen to the voice of fear inside her.

Antonia tells Jodi and Christie about the upcoming open mic night. Jodi says she can call her cousin and see if s/he wants to come. Christie also offers to call some people she knows and invite them. Antonia is going to charge $20 per person at the event.

Antonia calls a friend of hers called Poetri. She tells him about the open mic night and he offers to host the event for free. Antonia tells him it is going to happen in two days, and Poetri says he doesn't know if he can get the word out in that amount of time. He tells Antonia to call him back later and he will see what he can do.

Karinna Kittles, a love and relationship expert, arrives to meet with Jodi. They sit down and Karinna gives Jodi a quiz to take about her past sexual experiences, etc. Jodi talks about how she used to go for the "bad guy." She says those kinds of situations were degrading to her when she wanted more than just sex from the guy. After they talk a while, Karinna says it seems as though Jodi is in a period of huge transition and is now ready for an emotional, spiritual, and physical relationship.

Sommer arrives at Millennium Dance Complex and meets with dance instructor Shane Sparks. They start out doing some basic hip-hop moves. Shane says his goal today is just to help Sommer feel relaxed and sexy. In the confessional, Sommer says she is so nervous she is sweating. She is trying to let go and enjoy herself, but initially has trouble. As the lesson continues, Sommer gets more relaxed and starts to enjoy herself. After the lesson, Sommer says she had a great time and feels "pumped." She says she didn't want to stop dancing and the lesson went a "a whole lot better" than she thought it would.

Karinna and Jodi continue talking. Karinna asks Jodi what she thinks has been holding her back. Jodi says it is her body image. She says, however, that she is starting to see the beauty in her imperfections. Karinna tells Jodi that she must celebrate her body. She says Jodi should go into her bedroom, light candles and put on sexy music. Then she should stand in front of a full-length mirror and dance wildly in the nude... Jodi says she has never done that before.

Antonia and Niambi go to a printing store to make copies of fliers for the open mic night. In the confessional, Antonia says her strategy is just to put fliers out everywhere and hope people show up.

Sommer arrives back at the house and finds Cassie, who is outside smoking a cigarette. She tells Cassie how happy she is about the dance lesson. In the confessional, Cassie says Sommer's energy is infectious.

Antonia and Niambi start passing out fliers to people on the street. They also place them on tables and car windshields. Then they return to the house.

Iyanla and Jodi meet and Iyanla asks Jodi what she has learned. Jodi says she has come a long way and knows that her past behaviors are not where she is going in the future. She tells Iyanla that she is ready for an emotional, physical, and spiritual connection with a partner. Iyanla says that sounds "delicious."

Niambi and Antonia talk about the upcoming BoR. Niambi explains to her that not everybody gets reviewed. Antonia is surprised to find that out, as she thought they would all be called up to justify themselves.

Iyanla meets with Antonia to see how things are going with the open mic night planning. After questioning Antonia, she realizes that Antonia does not have a definite plan. In the confessional, Iyanla says Antonia has no plan and a terrible disposition. She says Antonia better check herself before the BoR tonight. Iyanla tells Antonia that the event is "her baby" and her idea. Antonia protests that she doesn't have enough time to do it and it is too short of a notice for her to get it all done. Then Iyanla looks over the flier Antonia has had printed up, and realizes that the flier doesn't say that there is a $20 charge per person. Antonia is crushed and puts her head on the table in defeat. Iyanla tells her to "take a breath" and sit up. In the confessional, Antonia says she is extremely frustrated about the assignment.

Jodi tells Christie that she will probably be called up at the BoR. In the confessional, Christie says she is thinking Jodi will get called up too, and she thinks Jodi has put tremendous effort into turning her "C" into an "A."

Iyanla continues talking to Antonia. She tells her to use her resources and that she doesn't have to do the whole thing by herself. Antonia says everybody already thinks she is a "spoiled brat" and she doesn't want them to think she just wants people to do everything for her. Iyanla says Antonia is a spoiled brat, but that fact has nothing to do with getting help for the event. Antonia is becoming very antagonistic and she tells Iyanla that Iyanla just doesn't understand. She says she is very nervous and frustrated. Iyanla tells her to make another choice and choose not to be frustrated. Antonia protests and is getting more flustered. Iyanla says "Take a breath! Take a breath!"

Preview: Christie confronts Niambi. Iyanla turns up the heat at the board of review. Niambi finally drops a bombshell.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Niambi Opens Up

The show begins with Niambi in the confessional saying that she is frustrated. She says Iyanla is calling her out and saying she is not committing to the process. Niambi says that she is giving all she can. Antonia is in the confessional next and she also says she feels frustrated because Iyanla thinks her father issues have something to do with her spending issues. She says they don't know what she needs to heal; only she knows that.

Rhonda arrives to meet with Christie to go over the planning for the 5k race Christie is organizing. Christie says she wants the theme of the race to be about youth mentorship. Rhonda says the run is also about running for women who can't run for themselves. She says it is about women who want to start over, but can't. She tells Christie she is sending her to meet with a PR firm today to go over logo ideas, etc. Rhonda then mentions Christie's younger brother, 12-year-old Cain. Christie is devastated that she hasn't done more to help her brother, and Rhonda asks her what she wants to do about the situation now. Christie says it is terrifying to be responsible for another person. Rhonda tells Christie that she needs to decide what she is going to do about Cain before she leaves the SO house because she has access to more support in the house.

Cassie talks to Sommer about her son, Dustin, not calling her last night. She is a little concerned that she didn't hear from him, but seems to be in a happy mood. She does a "good morning" dance for Rhonda when she sees her passing by.

Christie talks to Jodi and Niambi about her issue with her brother. In the confessional, Christie says she doesn't know what to do. She says she doesn't want to resent her brother, Cain, but she also doesn't want to feel guilty about not taking care of him.

Rhonda meets with Cassie and Cassie tells her that Dustin hasn't called. She tells Rhonda she is going to call him if she doesn't hear from him by this evening. In the confessional, Rhonda says Dustin may not be ready to have a relationship with Cassie, and that a relationship might jeopardize his relationship with his adoptive mom. Rhonda tells Cassie that the adoptive mom might be influencing him not to call. Cassie doesn't understand why she would do that. In the confessional, Cassie says the adoptive mother will always be Dustin's mom. She says that a mom can love more than one child, and a child should be able to love more than one mom.

Christie is working on her 5k run project; Sommer and Jodi are helping her. In the confessional, Christie says she feels very supported by the women and they are working together as a team.

Iyanla arrives to meet with Niambi. In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi is resisting the process and is "attached to image." She says Niambi is concerned with making everything "look good." Iyanla tells Niambi that yesterday Niambi said she was "fighting for her life." She asks Niambi what that means to her. Niambi says it means she is going to be who she is and ask for what she wants. Iyanla asks her how things are going with Situation Man. Niambi says she has experienced withdrawal because of not having contact with him. Iyanla tells Niambi that perhaps she is addicted to the pain that relationship gives her. She says Situation Man reinforces her negative self-view. Niambi says she wants to contact him, but she doesn't know why. She says she doesn't want to disappoint Iyanla. In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi has to realize that this issue is about herself and not anyone else. Iyanla tells Niambi to go put on her "relaxation" clothes and to take off all her make-up and meet her outside.

In the confessional, Iyanla says nobody goes into the fight of her life wearing mascara and lip-gloss. Niambi meets Iyanla outside without her make-up and in casual clothes. They sit down to talk. Iyanla asks Niambi what's going on inside her. Niambi says she feels shame and she is afraid to tell the truth because it is ugly. Iyanla has Niambi clothes her eyes and repeat after her: The thing I feel the most guilty about is... Niambi finishes the sentence with "...terminating a pregnancy." Niambi is crying and says she felt that God left her alone and that she deserved to be left alone.

Cassie and Rhonda continue their conversation. Cassie says the one person in her whole life who has the power to make her feel shameful is Dustin's adoptive mother. She says that even though the adoptive mother lied to Dustin and said Cassie was dead, Cassie still feels like she is to blame for it. Rhonda tells her that the adoptive mom can choose to see Cassie as she was (young, alcoholic, etc.), or she can see Cassie for who she is today. She says it is her choice. In the confessional, Cassie says Dustin will have to tell the adoptive mother that he has met Cassie and that he now knows she lied about Cassie being dead. Cassie says she doesn't know how the woman will react. Rhonda tells Cassie that the adoptive mother has power over Dustin, as she should because she raised him. She says that no matter how Cassie feels about Dustin's relationship with his adoptive mother, Cassie has to honor it.

Christie takes Jodi with her and goes to see a graphic designer to design the logo for the race. The race is going to be called, "Dare to Change." Christie and the graphic designer go over ideas.

Niambi and Iyanla continue their conversation. Iyanla asks Niambi why she feels she deserved to be left alone. Niambi says it's because she has done "bad stuff." Iyanla tells her that she has been beating herself up over and over again. She says that Niambi should get out "one good beating" and then be done with it. She brings out two bats, a plastic bat and an aluminum bat, and asks Niambi to choose one. Niambi chooses the aluminum bat. In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi's guilt, shame and anger is toxic. She says she wants to show Niambi what it looks like when a woman beats herself up.

Iyanla tapes photos of Niambi onto a punching bag (ED one of those bags that sits on the ground). She then tells Niambi to hit the bag with the bat. Niambi swings hard over and over again and yells that she is ugly, stupid, afraid. She says she doesn't deserve to be happy because she is "mean, evil and selfish, selfish, selfish!!"

Antonia is lying down in her bedroom on the daybed and Jodi comes and finds her. Antonia is upset about the father issues that Iyanla is bringing up and asks Jodi what she is supposed to do. Jodi tells her to give her dad a second chance. In the confessional, Jodi says Antonia has closed her heart to her dad for a long time and is fighting the process of opening up.

Niambi is crying and all the photos of herself have been knocked off the punching bag. Iyanla picks them back up and tapes them back to the bag. She tells Niambi to look at one of the photos and see the pain she is in. Niambi says she deserves to be in pain. Iyanla says she doesn't deserve it. She tells Niambi to tell the photo of herself that she feels her pain and tell her that she has been through enough. Niambi is crying and tells the photo of herself that she is sorry she abused her. She says to the photo, "I love you. I honor you. I respect you." Then Iyanla gathers up the photos and hands them to Niambi. She tells Niambi to go inside and find her housemates and tell them that she is not going to beat herself up anymore. Niambi is very emotional and goes to find her housemates. She finds Jodi lying down reading a magazine. She tells Jodi that as of this day she is taking a stand. Jodi realizes Niambi is serious and sits up to give her her full attention. Niambi shows Jodi the photo of herself and says she is taking a stand for the person in that photo and she is not going to beat herself up anymore. In the confessional, Jodi says she was very touched by Niambi's emotions and honesty. Jodi thanks Niambi for sharing with her.

Christie is at Passion Marketing and is meeting with Gary Wexler. He goes over plans for the 5k and gives Christie advice on calling sponsors, etc. In the confessional, Christie says this is a mammoth undertaking and she doesn't know whether she wants it to be as big as Gary is suggesting.

Niambi goes back downstairs where Iyanla is waiting for her. Niambi sits down and Iyanla holds up the photo of Niambi as a child and asks Niambi, "What is her trauma?" Niambi says she was criticized a lot. Iyanla asks her what she wants to say to the people who criticized her. Niambi says she wants to say that she tried her best. Iyanla says Niambi also probably wanted to tell them to shut up and to "leave me the hell alone." She tells Niambi to unlock that little girl's voice and let her speak the "shut up" she's been swallowing for 33 years. Niambi yells "shut the f*ck up! Leave me the hell alone!" Niambi then stands up and screams even louder, "SHUT UP!"

Niambi then sits back down and Iyanla tells her to repeat after her. She tells her to say that she forgives herself for believing she couldn't do it. Niambi repeats after her and adds that she forgives herself for doubting herself. She says she appreciates herself for all she has accomplished in spite of the how bad she felt. Niambi breaks down crying and Iyanla hugs her. Iyanla tells her, "you did so good" again and again. In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi has released her feelings and now has to do some "forgiveness work." She says she will be watching closely to make sure Niambi keeps her commitment to honor herself.

Christie calls and leaves a message for Step Up, a mentorship program that she hopes will be a sponsor of the race.

Iyanla meets with Antonia. The both sit on the couch together and Iyanla has Antonia put her head in her lap. Iyanla asks Antonia if she was a doctor and she discovered a growth on Antonia, would she want her to tell her about it. Antonia says she would, and she says she is a "smart girl" and knows that Iyanla is talking about Antonia's father issues. Iyanla says she has a responsibility to tell Antonia that she has these issues with her dad. Antonia says she has realized through talking with Iyanla that she can no longer pass judgment on her father. She says, however, that she doesn't want to talk to him or see him. She says she feels like she has made a big enough step in just forgiving him. Antonia then changes the subject and tells Iyanla that Sommer came up with an idea for her to turn the $100 she was given into $500. Sommer suggested she do a poetry slam and charge $20 per person to come to the event. Iyanla says that it sounds like a good idea.

Niambi places the photos of herself on the wall in her bedroom. In the confessional, she says she feels sorry for the little girl in the photo because she judged and criticized her too harshly.

Cassie and Antonia are in the dining room. Cassie is telling Antonia about her concerns that her son hasn't called. In the confessional, Cassie says she is starting to become afraid that Dustin's adoptive mother has changed his mind about being in her life. Antonia tells Cassie that any adoptive mom would probably feel threatened. Cassie says she is not trying to take him away from her. She says she lived with the adoptive parents through the last two months of her pregnancy and she thought she had an agreement with them that she would always be in his life. Antonia says she can't believe they lied to Cassie that way. In the confessional, Antonia says Cassie automatically reminded her of her dad and what he did. She says now Cassie has transformed in front of her eyes to a woman she respects. Cassie tells Antonia that she is thankful to her for not being judgmental towards her anymore. The two women hug each other.

Elizabeth Tafel arrives to give the women temporary henna tattoos. All the women gather and Elizabeth paints beautiful designs on their hands, wrists, and ankles.

Cassie calls Dustin to ask him whether he is going to come and visit her at the house. Dustin tells Cassie he was just looking for her number and was about to call her. Cassie asks him whether he is coming and he tells her he doesn't want to be on TV. He says his adoptive mother is "flipping out" and he doesn't want to go on TV and ruin his life. Cassie tells him she understands and then asks him if he is okay. He says, "Yeah, I guess." In the confessional, Cassie says she is going to support her son no matter what he decides.

Preview: Antonia gets a wake-up call. Sommer steps outside her comfort zone. And an unexpected announcement puts everyone on edge (There's going to be a board of review).

Monday, May 01, 2006

Cassie Meets Her Son

The show begins with the women having dinner. In the confessional, Jodi says that Cassie is on her way to meet her son. She says she can't imagine how excited Cassie is and how afraid she must be.

Rhonda and Cassie are walking down the hall to the room in which Cassie's son awaits. In the confessional, Rhonda says Cassie's single biggest goal has always been to meet her son and today is the day. In the confessional, Stan says he has had time to sit and talk with Cassie's son, Dustin, and Dustin's girlfriend, Natalie. He says Dustin has requested that they conceal his identity and they have agreed to honor his request. (ED: They show him, but only from the side. In the confessional, they have him in a darkened room.)

Cassie walks in the room and Dustin stands up and hugs her. They hug for a long time. In the confessional, Dustin says his heart skipped a beat when he saw the person who gave birth to him. In the confessional, Cassie says all the hard work to get to this moment has been worth it.

Cassie and Dustin look into each other's eyes. In the confessional, Cassie says his eyes look just like hers. Cassie then hugs Dustin's girlfriend, Natalie. Dr. Stan asks Dustin how Cassie looks and Dustin says "she is beautiful." Dustin says he is about to cry. Cassie says she has been crying for years. She then tells Dustin she has something for him. She brings out a letter she wrote to him and reads it aloud. In the letter, Cassie tells him her greatest joy was bringing him into the world. She says she wanted to give him a better life than she could give him at the time because she loves him unconditionally. She says through all the years one thing has always remained true: "You matter in this world." In the confessional, Dustin says when Cassie said he matters, it gave him something to "live for."

Cassie tells Dustin she always wanted to be there for him. She says she is here for him and it's up to him whether he wants a relationship with her. Dustin and Cassie are sitting across from each other holding hands. Dustin says it is like looking in a mirror when he looks at Cassie. Dustin tells Cassie he thought she was dead. Cassie tells him that his adoptive mother was just trying to protect him. In the confessional, Dustin says his adoptive mom told him Cassie was dead because she was trying to protect him and he was too young to understand. Cassie says she had to go through missing out on his life, but she says that love eventually won.

Dustin tells Cassie he is proud of her for getting her GED. He says this whole situation is overwhelming for him. He tells Cassie he is really glad to find out who she is, and that she is not a drug addict. He says he can tell by looking at her that she is his mom. He says he wants Cassie to be a part of his life, but he doesn't know what to do. Cassie tells him there is no pressure on him, and that he can take his time to get used to this new situation.

Meanwhile back at the house, Niambi is telling Jodi that she really wants to call or email Mr. Situation. In the confessional, Niambi says she is starting to feel obsessive about Situation Man and misses him a lot. She tells Jodi she has a deep yearning for him. Jodi tells her that her heart and her head are in turmoil.

Back at the hotel, Dustin says he doesn't know what to think. He says he is very happy that there are people here helping him through this meeting. Stan asks Cassie if she has anything else to give Dustin. Cassie tells Dustin that she writes poetry, and that she wrote a poem for him. She brings out the framed poem she wrote, which is entitled, In The Heart of You." She reads it to Dustin. Dustin's girlfriend, Natalie, is crying and so is Rhonda as Cassie reads it.

When Cassie is finished, Dustin tells her it is beautiful. Cassie says she also has something else for him. She says right after she gave Dustin up for adoption she purchased a gold leaf charm. She shows it to him and says she has kept it all this time because it represents how she felt--like a crumpled leaf. She hands it to Dustin and tells him she wants him to have it now. Cassie also has a small music box that she says was given to her by her birth mother. Underneath the lid of the box it reads "hope." She says she wants him to have this box as well. Dustin holds the box and plays it. The box plays "Beautiful Dreamer." Dustin appears to be crying. In the confessional, Cassie says when you give birth to someone there is always a bond.

Natalie is very emotional and crying. Stan says Cassie has shown a great deal of perseverance and his is proud of her. He says he is also proud of Dustin who took a big risk in coming to this meeting. He tells Dustin that he can't go through this whole thing alone and will need a good counselor to help him. Dustin agrees. Stan than says he and Rhonda are going to say goodbye so that Cassie, Dustin and Natalie can have dinner together alone. Dustin hugs Cassie again and picks her up. He calls her "mini-me." In the confessional, Cassie says hugging her son is like home. She says the empty place inside her is now filled up.

Back at the house, the women are sitting in the living room talking. Antonia is apparently planning an open mic poetry reading to raise money. In the confessional, Jodi says Niambi has chosen to isolate herself from the rest of the women and she says she takes it personally.

Niambi is lying in bed journaling. In the confessional, she says she hasn't been open with her housemates because she doesn't yet know them. She says she has been holding back and hasn't been honest.

Cassie arrives back at the house and Christie and Jodi greet and hug her. Cassie tells them that they all cried. She says Dustin told her that he goes to sleep every night feeling like something is missing. He says he will go to sleep tonight and that feeling will no longer be there. In teh confessional, Christie says that Cassie is very brave and she is honored to be a part of her experience.

Later Niambi has gotten out of bed and goes to heat up dinner for herself. She seems to be in a bad mood. In the confessional, Sommer says Niambi has a huge "pocket of anger" inside. In the confessional, Jodi says Niambi is fighting the process and has yet to surrender. Christie says something (ED I didn't catch what she said), and Niambi asks her if she has something to say to her. Christie says "absolutely not."

It's the next morning and Christie is in the confessional. She says Niambi didn't come out of her room all day yesterday and she seems to be back where she started.

Iyanla arrives and in the confessional she says Antonia is convinced that her spending has nothing to do with her father issues. Iyanla and Antonia meet and Iyanla asks her what she needs in her life. Antonia says she needs the support of her family. Iyanla asks her if she has that, and Antonia says she does, with the exception of her dad. Antonia implies she doesn't need her father in her life. Iyanla says Antonia that she must be the only girl in the world who doesn't need her daddy. She asks Antonia what would happen if she allowed herself to miss her dad. Antonia says she's never really had him in her life and so she doesn't know what she is missing.

Iyanla then gives Antonia a present. Antonia opens it and finds a bunch of (fake) dollar bills inside. She says this present is just like the one her father gave her when she was a child. Iyanla tells her the present represents all the things Antonia missed out on by not having her father in her life. Iyanla then tells Antonia to write on each bill something she missed by not having her father around while she was growing up.

Niambi calls Situation Man (EDIT: Niambi disputes that she was talking to "Situation Man"). In the confessional, she says she is overwhelmed with missing him and not speaking with him. Situation Man asks Niambi how she is feeling and she says she is adjusting to the house. Niambi asks him how his girlfriend is doing. He says she is doing allright. Niambi says she wasn't going to call him at all and Situation Man tells her they are going to be okay. Niambi tells him it would be sad if they didn't "find our way back to each other."

Stan arrives and in the confessional, he says he is worried about Cassie and Dustin and their expectations of each other. Cassie and Stan meet and Stan asks Cassie about her feelings regarding the meeting with her son. Cassie looks really happy and talks about how she let Dustin hug her and not the other way around. She says his face has wonderment on it and she knew he could tell she was his mom. She says she knew at that moment that she had made the right decision. Stan says it was a surreal experience for both of them. He says Cassie's smile was as big as her whole face last night. Cassie starts crying and says that she has learned so much by being in the house. She says it has helped her heal and she believes she will be able to help Dustin in his life.

Antonia is doing the assignment Iyanla gave her. In the confessional, she says she already told Iyanla that her father not being in her life has nothing to do with her excessive spending.

Stan continues his conversation with Cassie. He says in the future, Dustin may "act out" with Cassie. He says the high Cassie is on right now won't last. He says Dustin views Cassie as an "angel" right now and they shouldn't get too close too quickly or it could all blow up. In the confessional, Cassie says she has to come down from her clouse now and focus on what's best for her son. Cassie tells Stan that Dustin said "I love you, Mom," to her last night. She asks whether it's okay to let him call her mom. Stan says to let him say whatever he feels. He says Dustin is in a fantasy right now that Cassie is the "good mom." He warns Cassie not to move in with Dustin or pay his bills, etc. He tells Cassie that her job is to be his mentor and help to propel him forward towards a successful life.

Iyanla goes back to Antonia, who has finished writing on the dollar bills all the things she missed out on by not having her father in her life. Iyanla tells Antonia she believes her when she says she doesn't think about her father. She says, however, that Antonia wouldn't have a problem thinking about her dad if she truly wasn't effected by him not being in her life. Then Iyanla brings in a board with a figure of a man drawn on it. The board is labeled, "Dollars For Daddy." She blindfolds Antonia and tells her to pin the dollars on the board. Antonia pins each dollar on the board. Iyanla asks her about other times she has felt like she is "groping in the dark." Antonia says she hasn't felt that way, but Iyanla reminds her that she is in a tremendous amount of debt and was "spending in the darkness."

Jodi and Niambi are talking. Niambi tells Jodi she is who she is, but that she feels like that makes the other women uncomfortable. Jodi tells Niambi that she came to the house because she was isolating herself and wanted to change that.

Antonia has finished pinning the dollar bills on the board and Iyanla sits her down and tells her she can take off the blindfold. Antonia looks at the board and sees she has pinned the dollars all around the figure's heart. Iyanla says she finds that profound and sad. Antonia asks her why she finds it sad. Iyanla tells Antonia that her life tells her story.

Christie and Cassie are talking about the meeting with Cassie's son. Christie says it is amazing how Dustin already accepts Cassie. In the confessional, Cassie says she is starting to panic. She is afraid she made the wrong decision and fears she has made Dustin's life worse by coming into it.

Niambi and Iyanla meet. Iyanla tells her that she senses reluctance in her. Niambi says she is just adjusting to the house and is very grateful to be given this opportunity. She says she wants to build her self-confidence and achieve freedom by being in the house. Iyanla tells her she can't get those things by being in the house. She says those things are already inside Niambi; it will just depend on whether she uses them or not. Iyanla tells Niambi that she senses Niambi is still doing "self-abuse." She says it is self-abuse when we don't say what we want to say, or do what we want to do. Iyanla tells her she will get out of the house what she puts into it. She asks Niambi if she thinks she can change. Niambi says she doesn't know. Iyanla tells her she is concerned and asks Niambi why she is in the house.

Antonia is in bed and Jodi is talking to her about fathers. In the confessional, Jodi says she and Antonia have common ground because of the father issues. She hopes Antonia will be able to open her heart to her dad. In the confessional, Antonia says in her house her dad is a dead issue. She says they are now trying to drag this issue up in the SO house and she just doesn't know how she feels about it.

Preview: Christie faces a major decision. Cassie starts having second thoughts about her son's upcoming visit. And Niambi struggles to stop her self-abuse.

Friday, April 28, 2006

Cassie's Journey Continues

The show begins with Cassie in the confessional talking about meeting her son. She says she is unbelievably excited and can't wait. In the confessional, Christie says everyone is thrilled for Cassie and they are all supporting her the best they can.

Rhonda arrives and gives Antonia some invoices for her room and board. Antonia says the cost has gone up because she ate more snacks, etc., yesterday. Rhonda then calls Cassie outside to meet with her.

Rhonda tells Cassie she doesn't want her to get distracted and to remember to speak in complete sentences. Cassie assures Rhonda she will be okay by the time she meets her son this evening. In the confessional, Rhonda says Cassie must stay grounded and should be prepared for anything tonight. Cassie tries to tell Rhonda more about her conversation on the phone with her son, but can't get the words out because she is so excited. Cassie then tells Rhonda that when she looks at herself now she realizes she is not the same person who walked through the doors of the SO house the first time.

Dr. Stan arrives and in the confessional he says he and Iyanla are concerned about Niambi's unhealthy relationship with Mr. Situation. Stan and Niambi sit down to discuss it. He asks Niambi whether getting in this kind of relationship has been a pattern for her. Niambi says she was in a similar situation before this one. Stan asks her why she is attracted to men who don't want her. Niambi says they give her something to "chase" and a goal she can set out to achieve. Stan tells her that some women go after "unattainable" men because they think if they can just "get him" they will have an elevated status above all other women. He also says that sometimes women think the "bad boy" will not act badly towards them (only towards others), but he says people who act "bad" towards others usually treat everybody in their lives that way. Stan then tells Niambi that Iyanla has arranged for her to meet with a love addiction expert today. He also says that he has a "love game" for Niambi to play with her housemates this evening.

Rhonda and Cassie continue their conversation. Rhonda tells Cassie to let her son take the lead when they meet. She tells Cassie not to feel the need to share everything with him all at once and to let him ask questions and be prepared to answer them. Then Rhonda gives Cassie a gold frame and tells her to create a memento of some kind to give to her son this evening. Rhonda tells Cassie that she will be going to get her nails done today and will also have a make-up artist coming to the house later to help her prepare to meet with her son. In the confessional, Rhonda says Cassie will be meeting with her son at a hotel, so that they will be at a neutral location where they can both feel comfortable.

Jodi arrives at Curves and has a work-out. In the confessional, she says she is happy with the way her body is changing. She says she feels more toned.

In the confessional, Rhonda says she has asked Christie to jog to the park to meet with her. Christie is shown jogging towards the park.

Susan Peabody, the love addiction expert, arrives to meet with Niambi. Susan asks Niambi about her current relationship with Mr. Situation. Niambi tells her they have been seeing each other for two years, but that he is unavailable because he is also seeing someone else. Niambi says if a friend of hers were in her situation, she would tell her friend to run for her life. Susan says it is good that Niambi isn't in denial about her dysfunctional relationship. She says Mr. Situation is cheating on Niambi outside of his primary relationship with her. Niambi tells Susan that he already had a girlfriend when they started seeing each other, and that she (Niambi) is the "other woman" in the relationship. Susan says that information changes things. She says the relationship is unhealthier than she first knew. She tells Niambi that there is "triangulation" going on and Niambi must be the one to break it off.

Niambi says it is difficult because she has strong feelings for him. Susan says she understands that it is hard to give up on love, and that it can be an addiction like cocaine or alcohol. Susan says there will be pain and grief associated with giving up on the relationship, and that Niambi will have to allow herself to feel her emotions.

Jodi helps Cassie put a poem she wrote into the gold frame for her son. Meanwhile, Christie is still jogging to the park. When she gets there, she finds Rhonda waiting for her and they sit down to talk. Christie tells Rhonda she didn't stop the whole way there and Rhonda tells her that means she just ran 1.2 miles, which is quite incredible for somebody who just started working out. Then Rhonda tells Christie she is "officially" in training starting today for a 5k run she will be doing in a few weeks. She tells her that a 5k run is 3.2 miles. Then she tells Christie that not only will she be running the 5k, she will also be creating the run, which means she will be designing the race, the logo, signing people up for it, and deciding on a charity. In the confessional, Christie says she is very excited and honored to get this assignment. In the confessional, Rhonda says that this assignment is the most difficult assignment she has ever given in the SO house. Rhonda tells Christie she will be meeting with Lanre later in the day and that he will be helping her plan the run.

Dr. Stan and Cassie meet. In the confessional, Stan says Cassie must downplay her excitement and focus on her son's needs during the meeting. He said if Cassie doesn't do so, she could jeopardize the entire meeting. Stan asks Cassie whether her son was shocked to find out that she was alive (ED he thought she was dead). Cassie says she doesn't think he has processed it yet. Then he says there is potential for disappointment for Cassie if her son isn't the idealized image she has in her head about him. He says her son may be angry at Cassie, or maybe pull away when they meet. He also tells her to be careful not to alienate him in any way from his adoptive mom. Cassie assures Stan that she won't do that. Stan asks her how difficult it will be for her if her son says it was nice to meet her, but then tells her he doesn't want to see her again. Cassie says it will hurt, but that's not what this whole thing is about. She says she just wants him to know she is there for him should he ever want to have a relationship.

Stan then tells Cassie that he will be meeting with her son first, and then Cassie will come in and meet him. He tells her that what she has accomplished is great, and he is glad she is child-centered and cares about his feelings over her own.

Christie starts her planning for the 5k and talks with her housemates about it. In the confessional, Jodi says she is excited for Christie and is happy that her training has turned into something meaningful for her.

Cassie takes Sommer with her to Hand To Hold, which is a nail salon. Cassie gets a manicure as she and Sommer talk. Sommer tells her they have gone through a lot together and it's nice to be together again.

Niambi is sitting outside smoking a cigarette. She says she feels like she is going through withdrawal in regard to Mr. Situation. She says, however, that because there is a little distance between the two of them, she is starting to gain perspective on the relationship.

Christie goes to a running track and meets with Lanre Idewu. She tells him about the 5k and then they do an "endurance" run around the track. When they are finished, Lanre tells her they ran 2 miles. Lanre says that planning a 5k race takes a lot of effort and planning and is really a full-time job. He and Christie go over some of the planning for the run. In the confessional, Christie says that planning the run is difficult and she is beginning to feel overwhelmed.

Estela Sandoval, a hair/make-up artist, arrives to help Cassie. Estela does Cassie's hair and make-up. Rhonda then arrives. In the confessional, Rhonda says Dr. Stan called her and told her Cassie's son's plane has landed and he is now at the hotel. Rhonda and Cassie leave for the hotel together.

Niambi and the housemates are gathered in the living room for the "love game." Niambi asks the women questions about their love lives. Jodi talks about a guy she dated in Atlanta. She says he was a "hot" struggling actor, and she always paid when they went out together. She says she wanted to be seen with him because he was so attractive. Christie says her first boyfriend hit her and pushed her around. She says she also hit him with a hammer and almost went to jail over it. She says it was a terribly co-dependent relationship. Niambi is not sharing details of her relationships and is being vague when answering questions. In the confessional, Jodi says that this assignment was for Niambi, but while the rest of the women are being open and vulnerable, Niambi is not really sharing.

Rhonda and Cassie are in the SUV on the way to the hotel. Cassie has last-minute jitters, but appears to be holding up well. Rhonda is giving her some pointers as she drives towards the hotel. In the confessional, Cassie says she feels like she is on the verge of fulfilling her dream.

Rhonda and Cassie pull up at the hotel and make their way inside. In the confessional, Cassie says this whole thing is a miracle, but it is a miracle that took a lot of work. She says she will not take it for granted because she worked so hard to get to this point. She says all the hard work was worth it.

The show starts a series of flashbacks about Cassie's story. They flashback to when Cassie first talked about giving her son up for adoption. Then they flashback to Cassie getting the letter from her son's adoptive mother telling Cassie not to contact her son. They also flashback to Cassie making a video for her son, etc. Cassie and Rhonda are walking down the hallway towards the hotel room where Cassie's son and Dr. Stan are presumably waiting. Then they show Cassie in the confessional; she says she is about to open the door and look into her son's eyes. They get to the door and Rhonda asks Cassie if she is ready. Cassie says she is... Rhonda opens the door and she and Cassie walk inside.

Preview for next week: Cassie's reunion with her son is more than she can handle. Antonia's frustration boils over. Christie must make a life-changing decision. Niambi explodes in anger and is forced to defend herself in the board of review.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Free Gifts and Cassie Prepares

The show starts with a continuation of yesterday's announcement that Cassie will be meeting her son. Antonia says she is shaking with anger over Cassie giving her son up for adoption. Cassie asks if Antonia is angry with her, and Antonia says she is angry about the fact that Cassie gave up her son. Jodi says Antonia's father didn't give her up, but Rhonda interrupts and says he did. Rhonda tells Antonia that she is really angry at her father; not Cassie.

Rhonda says Cassie is bringing up a lot of "stuff" for Antonia and Antonia should see that as an opportunity to face the bitter, resentful feelings she has for her father. In the confessional, Rhonda says Cassie can help Antonia to see that her father issues are running her life more than she would like to admit. Rhonda then hugs Cassie and tells them all to have a good day.

Christie tells Cassie she is proud of her for making that call to her son. Cassie says she decided she would just do it on her own and didn't need Stan or Rhonda to help her. She says she talked with her son for about 40 minutes, and he mostly just listened. He did tell her that she has no idea what he has been through. She told him she never intended to not be a part of his life. Cassie says she is thankful that Stan and Rhonda are going to help her prepare to meet her son.

Antonia talks with Niambi and Jodi regarding her feelings about Cassie. She says she just doesn't understand why people can't "get it together" for their kids. Niambi suggests that Antonia needs to deal with her father issues. Antonia asks her, "deal with what?" Niambi tells Antonia that she just "went off" on Cassie and so she obviously has unresolved issues. In the confessional, Antonia says she has no respect for her father. She says she knows it sounds bad, but she just doesn’t. Antonia tells Niambi that she is angry with her father, but "so what." she says it's "a wrap" and that's all there is to it.

Antonia goes and finds Cassie and tells her she wants to apologize if she made her feel bad. She tells Cassie she will not apologize, however, for the way she feels. Cassie tells her it is all right and that she doesn't have any animosity towards her. In the confessional, Cassie says Antonia is helping her because her son may approach her with anger and she wants to be prepared if that happens. Antonia asks Cassie a little more about why she gave up her son. Cassie says she wanted a better life for him. Antonia asks her what she wants from a relationship with her son now. Cassie says it isn't about what she wants, but about what her son wants.

Antonia finds another invoice on the floor near the front door and shows it to Jodi. In the confessional, Antonia says paying for everything is a brand new experience for her. She says at home she just wouldn't open her bills.

Two young men from a massage company arrive and set up massage chairs to give all the women massages. Antonia gets her massage, and then the massuese tells her he charges $1 per minute. She owes him $10 for the massage. Antonia falls on the floor and says they are "messing with her serenity." Niambi is laughing and says the whole situation has made her day and is "hilar" (meaning hilarious).

Dr. Stan and Rhonda arrive for group. Rhonda asks how the massages went, and Antonia says she had to pay. Stan tells her there is nothing unusual about having to pay for a service. He tells Antonia she should have asked if it would cost her before getting the massage.

Rhonda then says she wants to go over Sommer's story a little more. She opens the plasma and shows a photo of when Sommer was at her heaviest weight. Sommer says that was her biggest, and she finds it bizarre to see herself at that weight because she no longer identifies with the girl in the photo. In the confessional, Christie says it is really nice having Sommer in the house because they have a lot in common. Next Rhonda shows Sommer's self-portrait; it is of a sun. Stan says it is interesting that Sommer intentionally did not draw herself, but instead drew the sun to represent herself. Sommer says she doesn't want to focus on her looks. Rhonda says she wants Sommer to be best friends with her own body. She does not want her to deny or avoid it. Rhonda tells Sommer she looks forward to supporting her and helping her achieve her goals. Group is adjourned.

Rhonda and Cassie meet. Rhonda asks Cassie what would happen if her son decided not to show up tomorrow. Cassie says she would be hurt, but her heart would hurt for him more than for herself. Cassie then shows Rhonda the papers she has collected to show her son. She shows her hospital records, letters she has written to him, etc. She says these things are proof that she has been searching for him. Rhonda says Cassie doesn't need to prove that. She says Cassie's son just wants to meet his mother. Cassie says the first thing he asked her was, "why now?" She says she wants him to know she has been looking for him all along. Rhonda asks her to name the one thing she wants her son to know. Cassie says she wants him to know that she loves him. Cassie starts crying.

Rhonda tells Cassie she doesn't have to do all these things to prove it. She says Cassie is a mature, compassionate woman who is all grown-up now. She tells Cassie to just be herself. Cassie stops crying and said she just needed to get that out and feels better now. In the confessional, Rhonda says she has arranged for Cassie to meet a man who reunited with his birth mother as an adult. She also tells Cassie that Andy Paige is coming over to help her pick out an outfit for her meeting with her son.

Dr. Stan arrives to meet with Sommer. Sommer tells him she wants to apologize to him. She says she knows a lot of effort went into her process the last time she was at the house, and she is sorry she through it all away. Stan says he is disappointed for Sommer, but she just wasn't ready then. Stan then invites Rhonda to join them. Rhonda says that one of Sommer's steps is to develop healthy intimacy. She says Sommer needs to learn how to interact with different personality types. Stan says it takes time to get to know people, but Sommer has the habit of getting too close too fast with people. Rhonda says that scares people because it is inappropriate to immediately become best friends with someone. They then show a flashback of the last time Sommer was in the house and she was doing the "people pleaser" exercise.

Rhonda tells Sommer that today a group of people are going to be coming over to make chili with her. She says each person will have a different personality type and Sommer must identify it. Rhonda hands Sommer name tags--each tag has a name and a personality trait written on it e.g. "Passive Patty" and "Manipulative Mark." Sommer has to decide who is who while they are making chili together.

Andy Paige arrives to take Cassie shopping. They hug and Andy comments that Cassie looks wonderful and very happy. They leave to go shopping.

Rhonda calls all the women into the living room. After they gather, Antonia says she is angry because she was eating her omelet and it is now getting cold. Rhonda tells her she doesn't want her at this meeting anyway and sends her outside so she can talk to the other women without her hearing. Antonia leaves and Rhonda tells the women that today they are going to help support Antonia with an exercise. Today is going to be a day of "indulgences." She says indulgences will be offered as gifts, but Antonia will be required to pay if she partakes of them. She tells the women not to let Antonia ruin their good time. Rhonda then calls Antonia back in. She tells all the women, including Antonia, that today they will be receiving "treats." Antonia asks whether it is going to cost her money. Rhonda says she doesn't know. Antonia asks her to find out for her, but Rhonda says she will have to find out for herself.

Dr. Stan meets with Antonia. He asks her how she is doing in the house. Antonia says she is doing fine, but mentions the issue she had with Cassie. She tells Stan that she couldn't apologize to her for how she felt. Stan tells her that she saw her father in Cassie. He says that Antonia says she doesn't care about her dad, but it's clear she does have unresolved feelings about him.

Cassie and Andy are shopping together. Cassie tries on various outfits until she finds one she thinks is perfect for her.

Stan continues talking with Antonia. He says that the reason Antonia says she doesn't care about her father is because she thinks he doesn't deserve for her to care about him. In the confessional, Stan says abandonment issues surrounding Antonia’s father’s absence are running her life. Stan tells Antonia that she should think about incorporating her issues with her father into the work she is doing in the house. Then Stan gives Antonia a stack of money. She asks if it is a loan, and Stan says it is her "salary" for the next couple of days. Then he gives her a $150 bill for his services today.

All the women go to a clothing store called It's A Wrap. They meet with the owner, Tiara Nappi. Tiara tells them that they can pick out one item and that it's a "free gift." In the confessional, Antonia says nothing is free and she knows now that everything will cost her something. The women look around and choose the item they want. Antonia helps them, but doesn't choose anything for herself. After everybody has picked out something, Tiara asks Antonia what she has chosen. Antonia says she can't get anything because she is in debt.

Dr. Stan arrives with a group of actors in tow. In the confessional, Stan says the actors he has with him are each going to act out a certain personality type, but like in the real world, they are not going to be obvious about it. He said it will be a difficult exercise for Sommer to figure out who is who. The actors and Sommer go into the kitchen and start making chili together. In the confessional, Sommer says she is having a hard time figuring out the different personality types and is struggling.

A jewelry designer, Natalie Bauer, arrives with a lot of necklaces, earrings, etc. She tells the women they can each choose one piece as a free gift. Antonia looks a little frustrated because she knows she can't get anything. The other women gather around the jewelry and choose which piece they want. In the confessional, Antonia says she is happy for the other women, but she also would like to get some of that jewelry. She says she wants it all, but can't have any of it and it is causing her to shut down. Natalie asks Antonia to pick out a piece of jewelry, but Antonia tells her she can't because she is in debt. Natalie says it is free, but Antonia says, "Not for me it isn't, honey." Natalie then packs up to leave and wishes them all well.

David Clem, a man who was united with his birth mother as an adult, arrives to meet with Cassie. They sit down to talk and Cassie asks him when he found out he was adopted. David says he always knew. He says he searched for his birth mother and found her when he was 19. He says he called her and thanked her for his life. Cassie asks what his mom said, and David said she started crying. David says they met for the first time at LAX and she immediately looked at his hands and counted his fingers because "that's what mothers do."

Sommer continues trying to figure out the different personality types as they are making the chili. Dr. Stan comes into the kitchen and asks them all to gather in the living room. He then asks Sommer to put the labels on each actor and see whether she was able to discern each personality type. Sommer does so and then Stan asks each of them to reveal which personality type they were playing. Sommer got 3 out of 5 correct. Stan says it takes a long time to get to know someone and to truly get to know them. In the confessional, Sommer says she has realized two things: One, she doesn't want to meet people in bars anymore, and two, she has to stop bringing people into her inner circle so rapidly.

David and Cassie continue talking. David tells Cassie about his birth mother meeting his adoptive mother. He says it was a very positive and emotional experience and the two women embraced and thanked each other. Cassie asks David whether his birth mother felt guilty for giving him up for adoption. David says she still feels guilty, but he doesn't want her to feel that way because he has had a good life. She asks whether David was ever angry at his birth mother, but David says he never was. In the confessional, Cassie says she is grateful to David for sharing this very special event in his life.

Antonia finds another invoice on the floor by the front door and shows it to Niambi. In the confessional, Niambi says she really hopes Antonia will get her debt issues under control.

Cassie gets a call from her friend Mimi. Mimi says it is so exciting that Cassie is really going to get to meet her son. Cassie agrees and says she just can't believe it. In the confessional, Cassie says today has been a roller coaster of emotions. She says she can't help but fear that her son may not show up.

Preview: After almost 20 years apart, Cassie prepares to meet her son. Christie receives stunning news. Niambi gets a wake-up call about her love life.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

All Tangled Up And Cassie Returns

The show begins with Jodi showing Sommer around the house. In the confessional, Sommer says she wants to get it right this time because she messed up last time. In the confessional, Jodi says the SO house is a house of opportunity and she would never want to deny someone the opportunity for a second chance.

Iyanla arrives to meet with Niambi. In the confessional, Iyanla says she is concerned about Niambi and hasn't yet gotten a "read" on her. She says she is not sure that Niambi has fully shown up yet. She says she has an exercise for Niambi that will help inspire her to show up in her own life.

Niambi and Iyanla sit down to talk about what Niambi wants to create for her future. Niambi says she wants harmonious relationships, creativity in her job choices, etc. Iyanla writes each of Niambi's "wants" on a board. Iyanla asks Niambi why she doesn't yet have these things and Niambi says it is because of fear. Iyanla collects the boards and asks Niambi to meet her outside at the tennis court.

Antonia tells Sommer that she doesn't have any idea of the value of money. She says she has never before had to pay for things all on her own. Sommer listens and then tells her she has an appointment, but wants to hear more later. In the confessional, Sommer says she feels that the women are going to give her a chance and she is very grateful. Sommer leaves to meet with Rhonda at a park.

Iyanla and Niambi are out at the tennis court. Iyanla has set up "easels" around the court and placed the boards that have Niambi's wishes for her future written on them onto each of the easels. Iyanla tells Niambi that instead of relationships, Niambi has entanglements. Iyanla says entanglements happen when you think someone has something you want for yourself, but think you can't get it on your own. In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi is stuck because of her entanglement with Mr. Situation. She says this man is deeply involved with another woman.

Iyanla has two bundles of strings--one red and one blue. She gives the red bundle of string to Niambi and tells her it represents herself. She keeps the blue string and tells Niambi it represents Mr. Situation. Then she tells Niambi to walk towards easel with the board that has the thing she wants most. Niambi starts walking towards "harmonious relationships" and unravels her red string as she goes towards it. Iyanla takes the blue string and wraps it around Niambi as she makes her way towards the board. Niambi is getting all tangled up and can barely make it to the easel. Iyanla tells her that as long as the has this entanglement with Mr. Situation, she won't search out what she wants in her life.

Niambi winds her way to each easel and Iyanla wraps more blue string around her. Niambi is getting frustrated and says she is choking from the string all over her. Iyanla asks her whether it (the relationship with Mr. Situation) hurts "bad enough" yet. Niambi says it does. Iyanla asks her whether he gives her anything she needs and Niambi replies that he doesn't give her anything at all. Iyanla tells her that until she believes she can get what she wants herself, she won't be able to get out of this entanglement. In the confessional, Niambi says Iyanla is wrapping her up quicker than she can untangle herself and she finds the exercise scary.

Sommer arrives at a park to meet with Rhonda. They sit at a picnic table and talk about Sommer's return to the house. In the confessional, Rhonda says Sommer is all smiles now, and she wonders whether she has forgotten how much work it takes to be in the house. Rhonda asks Sommer what she wants to learn in the house and Sommer says she wants to learn to dance. Rhonda asks her whether she feels beautiful. Sommer says she feels good about her body image about 60% of the time now. In the confessional, Rhonda says Sommer has lost weight, but she must now gain self.

Antonia tells Jodi she is $25 short for food and water today. Jodi says she can rub her shoulders for 20 minutes and she will give her $25 for it. Antonia gives Jodi a massage.

Iyanla and Niambi are still at the tennis court. Iyanla asks her what she is going to do to get out of this entanglement. Niambi says she doesn't know what to do. In the confessional, Iyanla says it is hard for Niambi to face the mess she has made of her life. Iyanla sits in a chair outside and asks Niambi again how she is going to get out of the entanglement (she is all wrapped up in blue string). Niambi doesn't know and asks Iyanla whether she can use scissors to cut her way out. Iyanla says it is her life and she can do what she wants. So Niambi cuts the blue string away from her. In the confessional, Iyanla says if Niambi leaves any of the red thread (which represents herself) on the tennis court it will be like she is inviting people to walk over her. She says she hopes Niambi knows that she is not playing around.

Iyanla leaves Niambi out on the court with her string. In the confessional, Niambi says she knows Mr. Situation is bad for her intellectually, but in her heart she has love for him. She says she feels confused.

Rhonda and Sommer are still at the park and Rhonda has laid out an unassembled bicycle on the ground. There are also knee pads, a helmet and gloves on the ground. Rhonda tells Sommer to put on the knee pads, helmet and gloves. She says that this is how Sommer left the house the last time. She had a foundation with these tools, but had yet to put her "bike" together. She has Sommer label the parts of the bike on the ground with the things she would like to accomplish in the house this time. Sommer puts labels like "dancing" and "trust self" on the parts of the bike. Rhonda then tells Sommer to put the bike together. Sommer says she can't because she needs tools. Rhonda tells her she will have to earn those tools and she doesn't know how long it will take. Then she tells Sommer to gather up the parts of the bike and take them back to the house. In the confessional, Sommer says she left the house and convinced herself that she didn't need to graduate. Now she realizes that graduation is something she really wants and needs in order to fulfill herself.

Niambi is in the confessional and she says she is disgusted with herself and saddened that she has created such a mess of things in her life. She says her heart is broken. She has cut down all the blue string from the tennis court and thrown it away, but has left the red string all over the court. She tells Christie and Jodi that she doesn't know what to do about it. Christie tells her that there are no simple answers. In the confessional, Niambi says she has always had someone directing her in her life and telling her what to do. She says she has the hope that Iyanla will come back and "save" her because she doesn't know what to do now.

Iyanla arrives and doesn't look happy. In the confessional, Iyanla says she is shocked and horrified that Niambi left the red string out on the tennis court. She says it is a stunning example of self-abandonment.

Jodi goes to Curves and meets with Jenny McNulty, a woman who works at the gym. She tells Jenny that she has lost inches and has also lost 11lbs since she started weighing herself. In the confessional, Jodi says she can see a change in her body and she feels wonderful.

Iyanla is at the door with the red string that she has gathered up from the tennis court. She asks Niambi why she left the red string out there. Niambi looks distressed and says she didn't understand what Iyanla wanted her to do. Iyanla asks what she did with the blue string, and Niambi says she threw it away. Iyanla says Niambi brought Mr. Situation into the house and left herself out on the court. She tells Niambi to go get the blue string that she threw away. They sit down to talk and Iyanla tells Niambi she is "very disappointed" with her. In the confessional, Iyanla says her heart goes out to Niambi because she looks dazed and confused by what is happening.

Iyanla tells Niambi that she loves her and is going to tell her the truth. She tells her to please forgive her for what she has to say. She tells Niambi that "you sold your soul for a piece of ass." She says Niambi has done it over and over again with Mr. Situation. Niambi starts crying. Iyanla says Niambi has sold her dreams, her beauty and her talent for a "piece of ass." Niambi continues crying and Iyanla tells her to call her when she is willing to tell the truth. Iyanla leaves. In the confessional, Niambi says she prides herself on being smart. She says she doesn't want to disappoint herself or Iyanla.

The women sit and have a "welcome dinner" for Sommer. Sommer says she is very excited to be back in the house. Later the women are sitting around relaxing when Iyanla arrives to meet with Antonia. Iyanla says she has heard that Antonia is running out of money and she is going to help her. Iyanla has set up a toy ATM machine that she calls "Iyanla's Cash Machine." She tells Antonia she can take money from the machine. Antonia is suspicious, however, and asks her whether she has to pay that money back. In the confessional, Iyanla says she is happy Antonia is questioning even her life coach. Iyanla tells her that whatever she takes out of the bank will have to be put back in the bank. Antonia tells Iyanla that she thinks she is going to empty the ATM, but she is wrong. Iyanla isn't convinced, and leaves Antonia with her cash machine.

Rhonda is standing outside. In the confessional, she says something special happened with one of the graduates and it is an issue the graduate can't deal with on her own. The limo arrives and Cassie gets out and hugs Rhonda. Rhonda and Cassie go inside to tell the women Cassie's news.

Rhonda and Cassie go inside. Cassie is surprised to see Sommer (they were in the house together before). In the confessional, Cassie says it is great that she and Sommer are back in the house together. All the women gather and sit in the living room to hear Cassie's news. Cassie says she left the house with unresolved issues about her son. Rhonda then catches Antonia and Niambi up on the story of Cassie giving her son up for adoption 19 years ago and her efforts to find him. Then Cassie says that four days ago she called her son's place of employment, but they told her he didn't work there anymore. The woman Cassie spoke with told Cassie to call back later that day because someone would be there who knows her son and Cassie could ask her about him. Cassie called back and spoke with her son's friend. Cassie told her that she was the birth mother and wanted her son to call her. The next day, Cassie received a call from her son's adoptive mother. The adoptive mother told Cassie to leave her son alone and that he wasn't ready. She told Cassie that when he was ready, he would get in touch with her. The next day, however, Cassie received a phone call from a "young man" who said he heard she was looking for him and was claiming to be his mom. He tells Cassie that his birth mother is dead. Cassie tells him that she doesn't know what he's been told, but she believes they both have a place in their heart that is missing. Her son asks her why she is contacting him now. She tells him it is not just now; she has been trying to find him for a long time. Cassie says that her son is coming to meet with her at the SO house on Saturday.

Rhonda says Cassie is going to need a lot of support and she will be meeting with people before her son arrives who will help her. Cassie says it is wonderful the way the SO house has supported her and believed in her. She says they held her up when she couldn't walk. She says she never gave up and the people of SO never gave up on her. Antonia interrupts and asks Cassie why she gave up her son. Cassie says she was unmarried and had been an alcoholic and drug user before she got pregnant. She says she knew she couldn't raise him. Antonia asks her why she couldn't "get it together" for her son. Cassie says she couldn't, but that she has been clean and sober for 13 years now. Antonia says she hasn't seen her dad in 10 years and he was on the street stealing, etc. In the confessional, Rhonda says she can feel Antonia's anger from across the room, but that it doesn't have anything to do with Cassie, but with Antonia's anger at her father.

In the confessional, Antonia says there is "no excuse in the world" for Cassie giving up her son. Cassie tells Antonia that she has the "disease" alcoholism and while it's not an excuse, she had to choose to give her son a better life than she could give him. In the confessional, Cassie says Antonia must have gone through a lot, but that her anger is "her stuff" and doesn't belong to Cassie. Antonia says she is so angry she is shaking. Cassie asks whether Antonia is angry at her. Antonia says she is angry that Cassie gave up her son.

Preview: Antonia continues to unleash her pent-up rage at Cassie. Cassie panics at the last minute and wonders whether she can really handle all the pressure.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Kim's Graduation Part II and Sommer's Return

The show starts with a continuation of Kim's graduation ceremony. Stan is still up at the podium and he is talking about the cathartic experience Kim had when she talked to her mother about what happened to her as a child. Stan says he was touched and impressed with Kim's willingness to forgive her mom. He says his wish for Kim is that she be forgiving as she can to those around her who want to love her, but who have been perfect towards her. Stan and Kim hug.

Iyanla goes to the podium next and says she has a joke to tell. An old woman who is sick and very ill falls into a coma and has a dream that she goes to heaven. She tells God she is ready to be there, but God says she still has another 20-30 years left to live and sends her back to earth. She awakens from her coma a new person and immediately goes out and gets all kinds of plastic surgery--tummy tuck, face lift, etc. Right afterwards she is crossing the street and gets hit by a car and dies instantly. When she gets to heaven she says to God that she thought she had 20-30 more years left to live. God says, "I didn't recognize you...." Iyanla says when she walked into the room tonight she didn't recognize Kim because she is a new person.

Iyanla continues and says the most poignant memory she has of Kim is when they were in group and she had Kim get on the floor and enact a "temper tantrum." They show a flashback. Iyanla says that sometimes children don't know that they have a right to be enraged when bad things happen to them. Iyanla says that Kim was born anew the day of the temper tantrum exercise. She says her hope for Kim is that when she goes home nobody recognizes her. She hopes they see the truth in Kim and she also hopes Kim will go to sleep one night and wake up having forgotten all about the battered old woman that was her old life. Kim and Iyanla hug.

Jodi goes to the podium next. Jodi says she and Kim had similar defenses and it was initially hard to connect. She says, however, that they worked through things together. She says Kim taught her true compassion and tells Kim that she loves her very much.

Antonia goes to the podium and says that Kim is quick and smart. She sees Kim as a survivor and hopes that she always remembers that she matters.

Niambi is next to the podium. She says Kim was the first person to make her feel welcomed in the house. She says she is inspired by Kim and she hopes that Kim always remembers to stand up and speak out for herself.

TJ goes to the podium next. She says she and Kim are very much alike. She says when Kim first came into the house she was sad that people had such a difficult time with Kim. She says she could see Kim's innocence right away, and that helped her to see her own innocence. Her hope for Kim is that she always remember her innocence and her vulnerability. TJ hugs Kim and tells her she loves her.

Christie is next up to speak. She is crying and says it is very hard for her. She says she loved her from the first day she met her. Her wish for Kim is that she remembers she is enough no matter what. She tells Kim she is going to miss her very much.

Kelly goes up to the podium next. She says when Kim first entered the house all she did was talk and talk. Kelly says she didn't have the skills to listen to Kim at the time. She says Kim has taught her so much and now she does have those skills. She is crying and tells Kim that whenever she is at home and feels "crazy" she wants her to call her because she knows how to listen now. They hug each other.

Kim goes up to the podium. She is crying and says it is very difficult for her to speak. She says feeling all of their compassion means so much to her. She tells Rhonda she learned so much from her and she could go on and on about all the things Rhonda has taught her. To Iyanla she thanks her for her warmth and her hugs. She thanks Stan for the dad he is and for making her feel like she mattered. She also thanks him for giving her a school teacher crush. Stan says that is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to him. To her housemates Kim says they take her breath away and she loves them so much.

Rhonda then joins Kim at the podium and has her recite the Starting Over Oath. Then Iyanla goes up and presents Kim her gift, which is a three day cruise for Kim in her mom to Baja, Mexico. Then Rhonda presents Kim with her statue. Rhonda says the statue represents Kim finding herself. It reads, "Healing the Heart." Rhonda and Kim hug.

In the confessional, Kim is crying. She says she has never felt such genuine compassion in her entire life. Then Rhonda leads Kim out to the pool and gives her a lit candle to float in the pool. She leaves Kim alone to contemplate her time in the house. In the confessional, Kim says her hope is to always feel like she matters. She says she hopes the feeling of being truly loved never leaves her. She says she wants to soak it all in and says she is incredibly lucky to have been a part of the SO house. She says it will change her life and her relationships forever and it was the best time of her life. She floats the candle in the pool.

The women gather outside the front door with flowers for Kim. Kim comes out and they each hug her goodbye. In the confessional, Jodi says Kim has a great sense of humor. She says it is dark, witty and dirty and she loves it. She says she is going to miss her. Christie hugs Kim and tells her she is sorry that she ever took advantage of her. Christie says when she knew better, she did better. Kim accepts her apology. In Kim's parting confessional, she says she is ready to go, but she is going to miss the house. She says the love and compassion she got here will always be in her heart. She also says that leaving is bittersweet, but she believes that her leaving the house is the beginning of someone else's process. The limo pulls away.

The women go back in the house and Kelly finds a note in the kitchen for them. It says that their new housemate will be somebody they will remember forever. Jodi jokes that it is probably Tess (ED from season 2). In the confessional, Antonia says she feels overloaded. She says Kim was a mother figure for her, and she misses her own mother. Antonia and the other women are in the kitchen, and Antonia tells them she is scared she isn't going to make it in the house. Jodi tells her to give herself a break as she's only been there three days. She says Antonia has learned a lot already. Antonia cannot be consoled and starts crying and heads up to her bedroom.

The next morning, Niambi helps Christie work out on the exercise machine outside. In the confessional, Christie says she feels close to Niambi and feels very supported by her.

The limo pulls up with the newest housemate. It is Sommer, and as she walks to the front door, she says she hopes the women will forgive her and accept her. Jodi answers the door and recognizes Sommer. the other women all greet Sommer and seem to know who she is. In the confessional, Jodi says part of her is on guard with Sommer because of what she did to get kicked out last time. They all hug Sommer and Jodi tells her she looks great.

Antonia finds a note by the front door, which is apparently an invoice for her. She is upset by it, but says it is a reality check for her because at home she just wouldn't open up her bills when they arrived.

In the confessional, Rhonda says this is the first time anyone has attempted coming back to the house after being asked to leave. Everybody gather for group and Rhonda and Iyanla arrive. Rhonda explains to the women that Sommer was at the house a year ago, but was asked to leave because she was focused on production. Rhonda says Sommer was given three warnings, and her housemates were complaining that their process was being interrupted by Sommer's fraternization with production. Rhonda says they held an emergency board of review, and Sommer was asked to leave. They flashback to that event. Rhonda asks Sommer why she has decided to come back to the house. Sommer says she had no intention of jeopardizing the other women's processes the first time she was at the house, but says that is what she did. She is crying. She says she wasn't ready to face her issues and let go of them the last time she was at the house, but she wasn't aware then that she wasn't ready. She says it took her months to realize these things. She says she doesn't want the women in the house not to trust her now based on her past behavior.

Iyanla says Sommer has a lot of courage to come back to the house and say she wasn't ready the last time, but that she is ready now. Rhonda then says she wants to go over Sommer's past for everyone. They flashback to when Sommer first arrived at the house last season. They show her telling her story about her gastric bypass surgery and her 75lb weight loss. Rhonda says Sommer got her first step last time, which was Reality Check. This step was related to Sommer coming to terms with her food issues. She says it wasn't easy for Sommer to get that step. Rhonda says they then had a board of review, and Sommer got a "C" because she was refusing to take risks. She says Sommer wouldn't wear a swimsuit and wouldn't risk looking stupid. They flashback to Sommer refusing to cooperate with Rhonda. Rhonda says after Sommer got her "C" she did better and put on a swimsuit. They flashback to that event.

Rhonda then asks Sommer how she has changed and what she has learned since last being in the house. Sommer says she has released the idea of trying not to appear stupid. She says her health is good and she can eat more now. She also says she is doing better with dating. Rhonda says it sounds as if things are going great for Sommer, and asks her why she is back in the house. Sommer says she is looking for balance. She says she is not balancing her work, love life and dating very well. Rhonda then goes around the room and asks the women whether they think Sommer should stay. They all say she should stay. In the confessional, Jodi says she feels Sommer's apology is genuine. Rhonda then welcomes Sommer back into the house. In the confessional, Sommer says Rhonda's welcome feels like a weight has been lifted from her. She says her heart feels full.

Rhonda says Sommer earned two steps the last time she was in the house and had two steps remaining. Rhonda says they are going to continue on that same path. The last two steps Sommer has to complete are "Healthy Relationships" and "Healthy Body Image." Group is adjourned.

Antonia is in the kitchen talking with Jodi, Christie and Niambi. She says she isn't sure she should even be talking with them because it might wind up costing her money. Jodi tells her she promises she would never charge her for talking. Antonia looks despondent.

Sommer unpacks her things. In the confessional, she says she has to do it right the first time this time. In the confessional, Rhonda says she will not tolerate any bad behavior from Sommer and wants to establish rules with her right away.

Rhonda and Sommer meet and Rhonda asks Sommer whether she can trust her. Sommer says she is asking for Rhonda's trust and she understands that it will be a leap of faith. Rhonda asks her to promise that she will focus on herself and have enough self discipline to make the house safe for herself and the other women. Summer says she promises and she believes she can do it this time. Rhonda tells Sommer she will not be given a second chance this time. She says if she hears any talk of Sommer interacting with or focusing on production, she will be asked to leave. She asks Sommer whether she is willing to follow the rules, and Sommer says she is willing.

Preview: Niambi takes a turn for the worst. Cassie's search for the son she gave up for adoption may be over. And Antonia has an unexpected reaction.

Monday, April 24, 2006

Kim's Graduation Part I And Money Changes Everything

The show begins with Kim in the confessional saying it feels strange that today is her final day in the house. Antonia finds a note from Iyanla on the kitchen table. In the note, Iyanla says she wants Antonia to return to "cash and carry" instead of being in debt. Inside the envelope is also a stack of money totaling $630 (ED: it's play money). Antonia is to use this money for the things she needs over the next couple of days.

Rhonda arrives and the women are gathered for group. Rhonda calls Kim up to sit next to her and congratulates her on her accomplishments in the house. Rhonda says when Kim first came to the house she rarely smiled and was isolated. Rhonda says Kim has done a tremendous amount of work in the house and she wants to honor her for having the courage to explore painful aspects of her past. Kim says it was very difficult when she was first in the house to express her feelings. She says she was never allowed to express emotions like anger while she was growing up, and it became unnatural for her to try to express them as an adult.

Next Rhonda shows Kim's old self-portrait. Kim says when she drew it she felt very alone in the world even though she has her husband and her son. Next they show Kim's new self-portrait. Kim says when she came to the house she realized that she wasn't feeling, but was only functioning from her head (and not her heart). In the confessional, Christie says that she and Kim have something in common in that they both felt that they didn't matter. She says she has forged a bond with Kim and both of them got through those feelings together. Christie tells Kim that she matters and starts crying. She says she will always be there for her to remind her of that. Kim starts crying and thanks Christie.

Rhonda then announces that Andy Paige is there to take Kim out for her makeover. Andy comes in and congratulates Kim. Andy tells Kim she is going to help her to show the world on the outside how much she has changed on the inside. Andy and Kim leave and group is adjourned.

Jodi goes up to her room and finds that her roommate, Antonia's stuff has all been removed. Everything left in the room is labeled "Jodi" so that Antonia knows she can't use those things. Antonia comes into the room and is shocked. Her bed has been stripped and all her personal care products, etc., are missing.

Kim and Andy are at a clothing shop and Kim is trying on dresses. In the confessional, Andy says Kim doesn't have any dresses and so it is time for her to take a risk with her wardrobe and wear a dress.

Christie goes to meet with her fitness trainer, Lanre, at a park. They jog up a hill together. Once they get to the top of the hill, Lanre says they are going to do 50 jumping jacks. Christie is really worn out and is breathing very hard. She stops and says she can't breathe. She says she has to rest and catch her breath. She tells Lanre that this scenario is a metaphor for her whole life because usually when things get difficult, she quits. She says she is not going to quit this time no matter how hard it gets. After Christie rests, they continue their jog. They finish and sit down to rest. Christie tells Lanre that she isn't going to give up this time. Lanre tells her to give her self a reward for the good job she has done today.

Iyanla brings Antonia into a room in the house, which has been transformed into the Starting Over Store. In the room, are all of Antonia's belongings and the things from her room; there is also a "clerk" to ring up Antonia's purchases. Iyanla tells Antonia to shop for the things she needs and to be careful about what she spends. Antonia is using the play money that Iyanla gave her earlier. In the confessional, Iyanla says Antonia has no idea of what it costs to live. Iyanla leaves Antonia to shop. Antonia picks the things out that she needs and then goes to "check out."

Andy and Kim are at a hair salon now and Kim is getting her hair styled. In the confessional, Kim says this makeover is a nice opportunity to prove to herself that she matters.

Iyanla meets with Jodi and Niambi while Antonia is shopping. She wants their support in helping Antonia learn the value of a dollar. She tells the two women to help Antonia out during the day, and then to give her a bill for their services. She wants them to entice her to "buy" things and use things in the house for which they can charge her. In the confessional, Jodi says she thinks this assignment will be great for Antonia.

Iyanla goes back to the "store" and goes over what Antonia has bought. She entices her to buy back the nightstand and lamp that Antonia hadn't chosen. Antonia goes along with her and buys the table/lamp. Then Iyanla and Antonia go back into the house with her purchases and Iyanla hands Antonia a bill for her coaching and support services. Antonia is shocked.

Christie returns from her workout. In the confessional, she says she is aching all over, is tired and feels lazy. She says, however, that all that is about to change. She wants to test her body and make working out a habit for her because it feels good.

The "clerk" from the store arrives to deliver the rest of Antonia's purchases. He then asks for delivery money. Antonia has to give him $20 for the delivery. She is angry about it and goes to tell Jodi and Niambi. In the confessional, Jodi says Antonia is not keeping track of the money she is spending and it is dwindling fast.

Kim and Andy are still at the salon and Kim is getting highlights put in her hair. In the confessional, Andy says she is proud of Kim for surrendering to the makeover and giving up control.

Jodi and Niambi help Antonia put her room back together. Niambi helps her make her bed and Jodi helps her put things away.

Rhonda arrives to meet with Christie. Christie tells Rhonda she has never worked out so hard in her life. She says she wanted to give up, but she didn't. She says it was really emotional and she is proud of herself for not quitting. She says, however, that she is still mad at a part of herself for letting herself get in this bad of shape. She tells Rhonda that the exercise today was a metaphor for her entire life. Rhonda says she applauds Christie's recognition of that fact. Christie says plastic surgery is now the furthest thing from her mind. Rhonda tells her that surgery would have never been necessary if she had just taken care of herself. Christie says she didn't know how to do that before now. Rhonda says now that Christie does know how, she can help herself and others.

Antonia, Jodi and Niambi are in the bedroom. Niambi is doing Antonia's toenails for her. After she is finished, Niambi and Jodi both give Antonia a bill for their services. Antonia now realizes that they are "in on it too." In the confessional, Antonia says she is going to try to stay away from everybody over the next few days because she is running out of money and they are going to try to do things for her etc., and then charge her for it.

Kim and Andy return to the house. In the confessional, Kim says she is going to miss the laughter and all the happy times she and her housemates had together the most.

SO graduates, Kelly and TJ, arrive for Kim's graduation. Then Rhonda, Stan and Iyanla arrive. They all gather and sit to wait for Kim to make her entrance. Kim comes into the room. Her makeover is very nice and she looks pretty. In the confessional, Jodi says Kim looks amazing and she is happy that she looks so beautiful.

Rhonda goes up to the podium to begin the graduation ceremony. Rhonda says when Kim first entered the house she was a frightened, scared shut down little girl. They flashback to when Kim first entered the house and told her story. Rhonda says Kim was physically, verbally and emotionally abused and could not connect with people as a result. They flashback to Kim talking about her childhood home, which was filthy and a scary place in which to live. Rhonda says Kim took a huge risk in coming to the house to heal the wounds of her abusive past and learn to feel again. They flashback to Kim doing an exercise in which Rhonda was trying to help her to feel. Rhonda says in the beginning, Kim was frozen, and they tried to help her feel by getting her to physically express what the abuse was like while she was growing up. They flashback to Kim hitting a chair with a belt, breaking things, etc.

Rhonda says after Kim started to feel a little more, it was time to deal with Kim's issues with her mom who abandoned her. They flashback to Kim's meeting with her mom. Rhonda says that when Kim was able to face her mom and tell her how she felt, she knew Kim was going to be okay. They flashback to when Kim told her mom how she felt about being abandoned. Rhonda says that was the moment that Kim started seeing hope for herself and for her future. They flashback to Kim telling her mom that she wants to have a future relationship with her. Rhonda says Kim has gone a long way towards healing her childhood wounds and that now it is time for her to practice living in the present so she can have a happy future. She tells Kim congratulations because she has "truly started over." Kim and Rhonda hug each other.

Dr. Stan goes to the podium next. Stan says he is impressed with Kim's resilience. He says that she managed to get her college degree, get married and have a son, even after all the abuse she suffered. He says she is very courageous to have come to the house for help. He says they all tried very hard to break down Kim's defenses and help her feel her feelings and they brought Kim's mother to the house to facilitate that. He says he will never forget the time Kim showed her mom all the objects which symbolized the abuse and hurt feelings she had towards her mom for the abandonment. They flashback to Kim showing her mom the fragment of the suitcase her mom left her with when she abandoned her at her dad's house. Stan starts choking up and says that as a father, it tore him up inside to see the pain Kim went through. He says he has never before seen an adult face her mom and express those feelings. He says it was the most intense experience he has ever had at the Starting Over house. In the confessional, Kim is crying and she says Stan's compassion is very touching. She says he is like the father she had always wished she had.

Preview: Everyone may not be prepared for who walks in the door next. The women wonder what Kelly will do at Kim's graduation. And Antonia freaks out.

Friday, April 21, 2006

Somebody Is Going To Graduate And Love Addiction

The show begins with Kim in the confessional talking about writing her forgiveness letters. She says she desperately wants to be loved and understood. Meanwhile, Niambi and Christie are in the kitchen talking about relationships. Niambi is telling Christie about "Mr. Situation." Christie says that it was very painful for her to let Justin go and then reads to Niambi what she journaled to help her say goodbye to Justin. Niambi says that she and Mr. Situation had a huge blow-up right before she left to come to the SO house. She says he is a liar and she has always thought she would rather be "the woman lied about than the one lied to." Christie tells her she shouldn't want to be either, and that she is better than that.

Rhonda arrives to meet with Kim. The go outside to talk, and Rhonda asks Kim about the speech she made at Kelly's graduation last night. In the confessional, Rhonda says Kim has come a long way since being in the house, but the speech may have been a setback. Kim says she knew what she wanted to say while giving her speech, but had trouble saying it. She says she is now "paranoid" that she may have said something wrong. Then they show a flashback of Kim's speech at the graduation. Rhonda tells Kim she was not acknowledging Kelly's growth and instead was acknowledging herself.

Rhonda tells Kim that she feels like Kim had the best of intentions, but that it sounded like Kim was on a soapbox when she made her speech. She tells Kim that she sounded elitist and narcissistic and that Kim was acting like she didn't have any problems and that only Kelly had to change. In the confessional, Kim says she now feels awful. She says her intentions were sincere. Kim tells Rhonda that she was trying to give Kelly a "pat on the back." Rhonda tells Kim she should have told Kelly that she enjoyed watching her grow and that she was an amazing woman, but instead she got "mumbled up." Rhonda tells Kim not to make this an opportunity to beat herself up, but instead use it as an opportunity to realize that people don't have to "get it" the way Kim wants them to get it. Kim starts crying and says she is desperate for people to understand her.

Niambi tells Christie that she doesn't think she should call Mr. Situation because that could be a sign of weakness. Christie tells her she has plenty of time to sort things out. In the confessional, Christie says she identifies with Niambi's relationship problems. She says both of them have settled for less. Niambi says she has had men who treat her well, but that there was no passion in those relationships. She wonders whether she has to sacrifice passion in order to have a "healthy" relationship. Christie says Niambi can have it all and doesn't need to settle.

Kim and Rhonda are still talking. Kim is crying and she says she really messed things up last night. She feels that she how now pushed people away by making that speech. In the confessional, Rhonda says Kim has been writing forgiveness letters to her family, but the most important person she needs to forgive is herself. Rhonda tells Kim that she has done amazing things in her life based on her past. She says Kim has fallen in love and created a family, but that she has not forgiven herself for just "making do" because that is all she knew how to do. She wants Kim to write a forgiveness letter to herself as well as to her family. Then she tells Kim she is sending her to a plant nursery today. She wants Kim to choose flowers that symbolize relationships in her life. They are going to plant them together later in the day. Kim is excited about the assignment.

The women gather for group and Iyanla arrives. Today's topic is about giving and taking. She asks the women whether they are givers or takers. Christie says when she first got to the house she thought she was a giver, but now she realizes that she was just being a "martyr." She says she realizes now that she is a taker. Iyanla says that unless you are giving for the sheer joy of it, you are really just taking. Kim says she loves to give, but she also sometimes does it out of a sense of guilt. Niambi says she gives with strings attached. She says she gives love, etc., with the idea that it will be returned; when it isn't returned she gets upset. Iyanla says when we give with a hidden agenda, we are really taking. Jodi says it is difficult for her to acknowledge that she is a taker. She says she thought she was a giver, but she was giving with a "silent contract" that she would get something in return. She says she knows now that she is "clearly a taker."

Iyanla then tells Jodi to go get a chair and place it beside Iyanla. Jodi does so and sits down beside Iyanla. Iyanla opens the plasma to reveal that Jodi has earned steps. In the confessional, Iyanla says Jodi used to be stingy, but now she is a giver. Jodi has received two steps: Look In The Mirror and Peel Away The Mask. Jodi says she is very excited. She says she knows now that all she needed was inside herself. In the confessional, Jodi says she has a sense of calmness and acceptance now and that she is confident in herself. Iyanla talks about Jodi's ultimate goal, which is to Fill The Empty Cup. She asks Jodi how full her cup is, and Jodi says it is overflowing. Iyanla says to always give the overflow and keep what's in the cup for yourself. Group is adjourned.

Rhonda and Christie meet to talk about Christie's negative beliefs. Rhonda asks Christie what stops her from being healthy. Christie says her marriage went badly, she had the botched surgery and she just became depressed. In the confessional, Rhonda says Christie is trapped behind a wall of negative beliefs and she wants to help her break through them. Rhonda brings out a very large faux wall; she wants Christie to write on the wall all the negative things she says to herself about why she doesn't get fit and toned. Christie writes that she thinks she is lazy, lacks motivation, etc. Rhonda then brings out paper cut-outs of hearts and stars. She tells Christie that when Christie has a change in one of these negative beliefs that are written on the "wall of change," she is to put a heart or star over it and write out the new belief.

Kim goes shopping at the plant nursery, Green Arrow. She meets with Barbara Ann Heath, who helps her choose bedding flowers for her assignment. In the confessional, Kim says she is choosing plants that symbolize growth in her relationships. She says she is choosing perennials, so that they don't need to be "over-nurtured."

Fitness expert, Lanre Idewu, arrives to help Christie exercise. Rhonda introduces Lanre to Christie, and they go out back to have a work-out.

Jodi calls her mom, Karen, and tells her she got two steps today. She also tells her mom she realize she is was a taker, and not a giver. Her mom is surprised, and is also very happy for Jodi getting the two steps.

Christie is working out and Lanre is encouraging her. In the confessional, Christie says Lanre's encouragement is giving her motivation. In the confessional, Lanre says that if Christie keeps up with the exercise, she will feel good about herself and have a sense of accomplishment. After the work-out, Christie introduces Lanre to Kim. Kim is very impressed with Lanre's looks (he is very attractive), and Kim calls Niambi out to meet him. Niambi says "he's so pretty," and says she definitely needs to work out too. Lanre seems flattered by the attention.

Rhonda and Kim meet outside to plant the flowers Kim bought. First Rhonda wants Kim to read her forgiveness letters. Kim reads the one to Jeff first. In it she says she is sorry for trying to control their lives and for not accepting the love he offered. She says she was unsure of herself and relied on him for validation. She also wrote that she loves Jeff deeply and is completely committed to their relationship. In the confessional, Rhonda says she is very impressed with Kim's letter. Next Kim reads the forgiveness letter she wrote to herself. In it she wrote that she is sorry she didn't give herself the love she needed. She says she is also sorry for having unrealistic expectations for herself and is sorry she didn't trust herself. She says she promises to treat herself better. Rhonda asks Kim how she feels about the letter. Kim says it feels good to have written it, but she is scared she can't live up to the promise she made to herself. Rhonda tells her it is very brave to admit that.

Kim then plants the flowers she bought. After she is finished, Rhonda hands her a small wooden box. Kim opens it to find a flower and a note. The note says Kim is graduating! In the confessional, Rhonda says Kim has done well at the house. She says it is now time for Kim to practice all that she has learned in her life. Kim hugs Rhonda and tells her thank you. Then she goes to tell her housemates the news.

Kim finds the other women in the living room and tells them she is graduating. Niambi is very excited for Kim and hugs her. Christie is also excited for her, but she is also upset. In the confessional, Christie says she is in shock that Kim is leaving. She says Kim brings lightheartedness to the house and she is very proud of her. Christie then goes outside to find Rhonda. She hugs Rhonda and cries. In the confessional, Christie says she received the gift of compassion from Kim and she is going to miss her a lot.

Iyanla and Niambi meet to talk about Niambi's relationship with Mr. Situation. Iyanla tells Niambi that a love addiction is just as real as a drug, alcohol or good addiction. Iyanla asks Niambi whether she thinks he loves her. Niambi says she believes he "has loved" her. Iyanla asks how Niambi feels in his presence. Niambi says she feels scared. Iyanla asks her why she stays in the relationship. Niambi says they have sexual chemistry and a lot of passion. Iyanla asks her whether she is addicted to him. Niambi says she is. She starts crying and says she misses him very much.

Christie is crying and talking with Rhonda. She says she feels really bad that Kim is leaving. Rhonda says that Christie's feelings show how much she has grown. She says the way Christie can express her love for Kim is "breathtaking." In the confessional, Christie says she is watching herself and the other women grow, but that she also feels a sense of loss. She says she realizes that this chapter in her life is coming to an end. Rhonda then asks Christie if any of her negative beliefs have changed since meeting with Lanre. Christie says she now knows that she does have enough time to exercise. Christie then puts a heart over that former negative belief written on the wall, and writes "possible" on it. Rhonda tells Christie they will be returning to the "wall of change" frequently.

Iyanla and Niambi continue their discussion. Iyanla tells Niambi that until she can truly acknowledge that she loves Mr. Situation, her suffering will continue. Niambi says she is embarrassed that she feels that way about him. Iyanla tells her that every woman has loved a man who wasn't good for her; Iyanla says she has done it too. She tells Niambi that she has to be willing to acknowledge that she is embarrassed about it. In the confessional, Niambi says she hasn't been honest about her love for Mr. Situation. She says she is feeling hopeless and helpless.

Kim is working on her new self-portrait, and is having a hard time doing it. She asks Jodi for help, but Jodi tells her she can't help her do that. Then they go outside to smoke a cigarette and talk. In the confessional, Kim says her mind is getting jumbled and she can't think. In the confessional, Jodi says Kim is scared to graduate and is letting her fear get to her. She says Kim needs to be kinder to herself.

Iyanla and Niambi are still talking. Niambi says she doesn't trust Mr. Situation and that he doesn't love her in the right way. Iyanla says Niambi doesn't love him the right way either. She tells Niambi that she has to set the bar higher and that he will jump it if she does. Iyanla says if he doesn't jump it, he's not the right man for her. She tells Niambi that she can still love him even if he doesn't, but that she will have to move on. Niambi is crying and says she is hurt and angry. Iyanla tells her to stand up and then they stand back-to-back. Iyanla tells Niambi to lean against her and that she has her back. They stand that way for a moment and Iyanla keeps telling Niambi that she has her back. Niambi is crying. In the confessional, Niambi says she usually feels that nobody has her back and that she is alone, without any support. She says Iyanla is giving her great comfort. Iyanla tells Niambi that she will not let her fall. Then Niambi and Iyanla hug.

Jodi and Kim are outside talking. Jodi tells Kim that she has to give herself more credit. In the confessional, Kim says she is starting to ask herself whether she feels any different than she did when she entered the house. She says this question is "freaking" her out.

Preview for next week: Everyone gathers for an emotional farewell to Kim. Niambi takes a huge step back. Cassie returns to the house with unbelievable news. Antonia has an emotional outburst. And a new woman with a controversial story arrives.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Kelly Graduates

The show starts with Jodi in the confessional talking about Kelly's upcoming graduation. She says it took a long time for her and Kelly to accept each other and that it is bittersweet that Kelly is now leaving the house.

The women gather for group and Rhonda arrives. Rhonda calls Kelly up to sit next to her and then asks the women how they feel about Kelly graduating. Kim says she is excited for Kelly and Christie says thank you to Kelly for listening and loving her. Rhonda them opens the plasma, which shows all of Kelly's steps completed. Then they put up Kelly's old self-portrait. Kelly says when she drew that portrait she felt ugly and that she wasn't really present in her life. Then they show her new self-portrait, which shows a very happy Kelly with a big smile on her face and the word "rest" in big letters. Rhonda says Kelly has given them all the gift of reminding them that being vulnerable has bigger rewards than consequences.

Then Andy Paige comes in to take Kelly for her graduation makeover. Andy says Kelly is the victim of the "C" word--comfort. She says she is going to give Kelly a sexy new look. Andy and Kelly leave and group is adjourned.

Iyanla arrives to meet with Antonia. Iyanla has a large manila envelope with her which contains all of Antonia's overdue bills. Antonia says when she gets a bill, she opens it and then just puts it to the side. She says creditors call and she doesn't answer the phone. Iyanla asks Antonia why she doesn't do what she says she was going to do and pay the people who gave her credit. Antonia says she tries to get organized and pay things off, but then she just stops and doesn't follow through. She says she feels a deep sense of "entitlement." Iyanla has put Antonia's bills all over the table and she is going to help her organize and categorize them.

Andy and Kelly arrive at BVD Women's Fashions to try on dresses for Kelly's graduation. Andy says the dress Kelly chooses will "push the envelope" and "wow her housemates."

In the confessional, Rhonda says she has given Kim an assignment to write letters of forgiveness to the people in her life. She says it will help Kim let go of resentments and "toxic anger."

Iyanla and Antonia have totaled up all the bills she owes and it comes to $24k. Antonia says she feels better and more organized now. Iyanla tells her that an accomplished financial advisor is coming to the house later in the day to help Antonia deal with her financial issues.

Andy and Kelly are now at a salon and Kelly is getting a microdermabrasion. In the confessional, Kelly says that getting the old skin removed signals a rebirth for her.

Famed financial advisor, Robert Kiyosaki, arrives to meet with Antonia. In the confessional, Antonia says she can't believe she gets to meet with Robert. She says people pay hundreds of dollars to watch him give a talk, and she gets to meet with him one-on-one. Robert asks Antonia about her financial situation and she tells him she is $24k in debt. Robert says he was a lot worse off at one time and was one million dollars in debt. He tells her that there are three ways to operate in life. You can operate as a poor person, which Antonia is currently doing, you can be middle class, which means you pay off your debt a little at a time, and you can be rich, which means you figure out how to get out the mess you've created. Antonia says she wants to behave like a rich person. Robert then gives Antonia $100 and tells her he wants her to turn it into $500. Antonia looks stunned and asks him whether that is even possible. Robert says it is.

Kelly is now getting her hair cut and styled. In the confessional, Kelly says she knows now she is a valuable person, and she is worth more than just cleaning the house.

Iyanla arrives to meet with Antonia about her discussion with Robert Kiyosaki. Antonia says it went well and tells Iyanla what she learned. Then Iyanla asks Antonia to open her clothes closet. Antonia does so, and says she doesn't have a lot of clothes. Iyanla says Antonia doesn't take care of the things she owns and is not a "good steward." Antonia agrees and says her mom tells her that all the time. In the confessional, Iyanla says Antonia actually owns very few things. She says Antonia has very little to show for all the debt she has accumulated. Then Iyanla takes out two bracelets that have cut up credit cards hanging off of them. She puts one bracelet on each of Antonia's wrists. The bracelets are pretty big and Antonia protests and asks Iyanla how she is going to wash her hair, etc., while wearing these bracelets. Iyanla tells her she will figure it out on her own. Iyanla tells Antonia that she must understand why she is running up bills and not paying them off before she will change.

Andy and Kelly return to the house and Andy applies Kelly's make-up for her. In the confessional, Kelly says she is very proud of herself and is ready to graduate.

Rhonda, Iyanla and Dr. Stan arrive for Kelly's graduation. They and the women go outside for the candle ceremony. Each woman is given a candle and expresses their hopes for Kelly. Then they float the candle in the pool. Christie says she hopes Kelly will remain vulnerable and will have a beautiful life with her family. Kim's wish is for Kelly to acknowledge herself and her dreams. Niambi hopes that Kelly will continue to embrace her vulnerability and receive all the love and energy that she puts out to the world.

Then Rhonda waits at the bottom of the stairs for Kelly. Kelly comes down and everybody claps. Rhonda is very excited by Kelly's transformation. She has a very nice new hairstyle and is wearing a beautiful green dress. In the confessional, Jodi says she actually gasped when she saw Kelly. She says it is the most amazing transformation she has ever seen.

The graduation then begins inside the house. Kelly's husband and sons come into the room, and then Rhonda goes to the podium and begins. Rhonda says Kelly looks absolutely stunning. She says when Kelly first came to the house, her goal was to Reach Out To Life. She says Kelly had so much passion, but that she was misdirecting her passion towards mistreating herself. She says that Kelly came to the house because she was afraid she was losing her marriage, and felt that she had already lost her children.

Rhonda then talks about how Kelly's therapist told her she was trying to "seduce" her father when she was young. They flashback to when Kelly talked about that incident. Rhonda says Kelly was afraid of reaching out to anyone and couldn't touch others. Rhonda says Kelly was constantly pushing everyone away and was always in a struggle against others. She says that was especially true about Kelly's relationship with Kim. They flashback to when Kim and Kelly were arguing. Rhonda says that Kelly learned to have more compassion while in the house, and then they moved on to helping her connect with her family. They flashback to when Kelly when to a mall with mother/son actors. Rhonda then talks about the treasure chest with the three locks on it that she gave Kelly. She says Kelly had to earn the three keys to open it. They flashback to when Kelly asked her husband whether he still loves her and to when she asked her sons for forgiveness. Then they flashback to when Rhonda gave Kelly the final key to her treasure chest. They show Kelly opening the chest and finding the blanket that had on it, "congratulations, you're graduating." The chest also had a prism inside it, and Rhonda says the prism represented the idea that Kelly was a diamond in the rough. She says Kelly had a lot of love to share, but didn't know how. Rhonda says Kelly can now go home and create memories and have the emotional connections she always wanted with her family and friends. She tells Kelly congratulations and they hug each other.

Iyanla goes up to the podium next. Iyanla says that a wise man once said, "educate a man, and you educate a man. But educate a woman, and you educate a nation." Iyanla says she hopes Kelly will pass on all she has learned to her sons and that this knowledge will then be passed down to future generations and will help build the nation. She congratulates Kelly and they hug.

Antonia then goes to the podium. She says she has only known Kelly for two days, and it's hard to believe the stories she hears about how Kelly used to be. She says Kelly behaved very motherly towards her as soon as she entered the house and that she welcomed her with open arms.

Kim then goes to the podium. Kim says she will miss Kelly and tells her she is beautiful... Then she tells her to "look at a face of innocence," referring to her own face. She says she was innocent during their disagreements and she talks about the time in group when she said something "inappropriate" to Kelly. Kim says she apologized for saying it and let it go. She says that Kelly, however, held onto it. In the confessional, Christie says that this is "typical Kim," and that she wishes Kim would end her speech before she digs and even deeper hole. In the confessional, Kelly says the message of Kim's speech is that it is all about Kim. Kim continues with her speech. She says Kelly is the one who changed a lot (implying that she herself did not need to change as much). In the confessional, Rhonda says Kim is about to graduate, but this speech makes her concerned about her readiness.

Kelly then goes up to the podium. She tells Kim she loves her and has never known anyone in her life like her. She says Kim is definitely unique and is the only person she has ever seen who can get a "belly laugh" about her own self (ED meaning Kim can amuse herself). Kelly says it is refreshing that Kim can be so silly and she thanks her for that. Kelly tells Jodi that she is thankful to her for helping heal her soul. She tells Christie that she is "her baby" and that she is only a phone call away. Kelly tells Rhonda that she make her "worth it" and taught her how to "be." She tells Iyanla that she loves her and that she is grateful to her. She thanks Stan for "dismantling my mind," and says she loves him for it. She says she finally feels rested and will remain that way forever because she is emotionally vulnerable now.

Iyanla then announces Kelly's graduation gifts. They are giving her once a month cleaning service for her home for the next year. They are also giving Kelly and her family a three day vacation to Big Bear, so that Kelly and her family can reconnect without distractions. In the confessional, Kelly says these gifts are fantastic. Rhonda then presents Kelly with her trophy, which reads, "Close and Comfortable." She congratulates Kelly. In the confessional, Kelly says she came to the house rude and unavailable. She says she is leaving rested and hopeful. In the confessional, Jodi says she and Kelly have been through a lot together and they are more than friends. She says she loves her dearly.

Everybody hugs Kelly goodbye and she leaves with her sons and her husband. After Kelly leaves, Kim, Christie and Jodi are sitting outside talking. Kim is going over how the arguments she had with Kelly weren't her fault, but were Kelly's. In the confessional, Jodi says Kim still has the desire to "set the record straight" in regard to Kelly. in the confessional, Christie says she wishes Kim would just let it go and stop digging a deeper hole for herself. Kim tells the women that Kelly really changed a lot and that's why she is graduating.

Preview: Rhonda asks the question on everyone's mind (about Kim's speech). Christie work out heats up. Niambi reveals what really happened in her love life.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Local Breaking News

My local affiliate keeps breaking in with special reports and so there won't be a recap of the show today.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Jodi's Mask

The show begins with Kim getting ready to go to the hospital to visit her grandmother. Her grandma has been put in the hospital because she may have had a stroke. Kim says today is a scary day for her.

Bethany has packed up her things and is preparing to leave the house. In the confessional, she says she doesn't regret her decision to leave because she needs to take care of herself.

In the confessional, Kelly says Niambi doesn't like her. She says she doesn't care why Niambi doesn't like her, but says it bothers her nonetheless. In the confessional, Niambi says she is an only child and she is used to being alone. She says people sometimes see her as sad and distant. She says it will take time for everybody in the house to get used to her.

Rhonda arrives and meets with Bethany a final time before she leaves. Rhonda asks Bethany how she feels about leaving and Bethany says she feels good about her decision. Rhonda says she knows now that Bethany didn't come to the house for herself. Bethany says she came for her family. She says it is empowering that she has decided on her own that she isn't ready to be there. Rhonda asks her what Shelby is saying about her decision. Bethany says Shelby is saying, "You go, girl."

Jodi is very upset that Bethany is leaving. In the confessional, she says she is going to miss Bethany. She also tells her housemates that she doesn't want Bethany to leave because she feels being in the house could help her.

Rhonda asks Bethany if she might like to come back, and Bethany says she would. In the confessional, Rhonda says Bethany will know when it is the right time to come back to the house. In the confessional, Bethany says she has developed lifelong friendships in the house and she now has hope for the future. All the women hug Bethany goodbye and Bethany gets in the limo.

Jodi goes outside onto the balcony and is crying. Kelly and Christie are outside with her. Jodi tells them she wants to go home and is scared she may not be able to make it through to the end. In the confessional, Christie says Jodi is so used to taking care of others that she feels people are abandoning her when they leave the house.

Rhonda arrives and the women gather for group. Jodi is still crying and Rhonda asks her what's wrong. Jodi says it was hard to say goodbye to Bethany and she also feels like she will never finish. She says she wants the whole thing to be done so she can go live her life. Rhonda asks if Jodi thinks they are holding her back. Jodi says no, but that she feels misunderstood. Rhonda says today's topic is unfinished business, so that fits in with what Jodi is experiencing. She asks Jodi if she is angry or feels betrayed that Bethany left. Jodi says she is angry, but not at Bethany. She says she is angry at Stan and Rhonda for not doing all they could to help Bethany stay. Rhonda asks if she should have held Bethany there against her will. Jodi says Bethany wanted to stay. Rhonda says Bethany came there for her family and not herself. She says she could have talked Bethany into staying, but it would have been right. She tells Jodi that she left the door open for Bethany and that she can return anytime she wants.

Rhonda then asks Jodi if she wants to leave the house. Jodi says she doesn't. Rhonda asks Jodi if she is willing to be misunderstood in order to gain understanding. Jodi says she is willing to do whatever it takes. Christie is also crying and she says they have all experienced a lot of growth in the house. She says being sad about Bethany leaving means they are willing to be open and vulnerable. Rhonda agrees and says in the past they might have numbed their feelings out with drugs or food, but now they are willing to love. Kelly is also crying and she says that today is the first time she has had compassion for Jodi. She says Jodi was right when she said Kelly didn't know how to support her. Kelly says she didn't know how before, but now she does. Jodi goes over and hugs Kelly.

Rhonda says today they should focus on their unfinished business, and then group is adjourned.

Kelly calls her coworker, Janet, as part of her ongoing assignment to apologize for punishing people in her life. She tells Janet she is sorry for being jealous and trying to sabotage her when Janet moved up to management. Janet says Kelly never treated her badly and she doesn't want her to feel sorry. In the confessional, Kelly says honesty is making her friendship with Janet more complete.

Rhonda meets with Kelly and has with her a "treasure chest" with three padlocks on it. Rhonda asks Kelly what has stopped her from feeling love and Kelly says it has been her unwillingness to be vulnerable. Rhonda says it's time to clean up Kelly's unfinished business and tells Kelly that if she practices love, she will know love. Rhonda then brings out three pieces of paper cut into the shape of keys. She tells Kelly that she will have to earn the keys to open the treasure chest. She tells Kelly to think about something that would scare her (make her feel vulnerable) in regard to her husband, one thing that would make her feel the most vulnerable in regard to her sons, and one about one of her housemates. She wants her to write each of these things on the paper keys. Rhonda says she will be back later to talk to her about it.

Christie goes with Jodi for a work-out at Curves. First Jodi gets measured, but refuses to be weighed again.

Kim comes back from the hospital. In the confessional, she says they still don't know whether her grandma had a stroke and things are not good today. Kelly continues working on her "keys" assignment. In the confessional, Kelly says she wonders what is in the treasure chest and wants to figure out how to unlock it. She says she chose Niambi as the housemate with whom she will do something supportive or vulnerable. She says she could have chosen someone easier, but she is going to risk it with Niambi.

Jodi and Christie finish their workout and leave Curves to go back to the house.

Rhonda meets with Kim. She asks her about her grandmother and Kim says it is a scary situation. Rhonda asks her what happened at the hospital. Kim says she told her she loved her and that she is the best grandma ever. Rhonda tells Kim that relationships are like gardens because they have to be pruned, watered, etc. Rhonda says she has an assignment for Kim. Later in the day a gardening expert is coming to teach Kim about gardeing and creating healthy plants.

Iyanla arrives to meet with Jodi. In the confessional, Iyanla says Jodi has spent years trying to be someone else. She says Jodi has forgotten who she is and can't keep commitments to herself as a result. She says the mask Jodi's been hiding behind is now cracking. Iyanla has brought small pebbles with her and she and Jodi go into the dining room with the pebbles and Jodi's mask. Iyanla tells Jodi to use one of the pebbles to break the mask. Jodi tries, but the mask only gets chipped off a little even when she really pounds it with a pebble. Iyanla says that is what Jodi has been doing all her life; chipping away at things, but not getting anywhere. Jodi says the mask is very thick and she just doesn't want it any more. She starts crying. Iyanla asks her if she is ready to surrender control, and Jodi says she is. Iyanla asks her if the mask still serves her and Jodi says it doesn't.

In the confessional, Iyanla says it is time for Jodi to release her mask. She says Jodi has been struggling a long time trying to hold onto her false ID. Iyanla and Jodi go outside onto the balcony with the mask. Iyanla tells Jodi that the mask has served her well and protected her. Jodi agrees and says her mask was the only one who knew her. Jodi is very emotional and is crying. Iyanla gives Jodi the mask and tells her to let it go over the balcony. She says not to let it go with anger, but with gratitude because the mask protected her and served her needs for a long time. Jodi holds the mask over the balcony. The other women are watching through the window. Jodi lets it go and it falls to the ground and bounces into the pool below. Iyanla announces that "it's done." Jodi says she is more open and vulnerable now than she has ever been in her life. Iyanla asks Jodi if she wants to see what she looks like now without the mask, and the two go inside the house.

Rhonda arrives to meet with Kelly. Rhonda asks Kelly what would be one thing she could do for her husband. Kelly says she is going to really listen to him. She says he is always asking her to listen, and she never does. Rhonda says listening is brave, but asking and really hearing the answer is even braver. She asks Kelly what question would be the scariest to ask her husband. Kelly says it would be to ask him whether or not he still loves her. In regard to her sons, Kelly says the scariest thing to do would be to admit she's been a terrible mom and ask for a second chance. She says with Niambi, it would be scary to support her because she might get rejected by her. Rhonda asks her what would be the most vulnerable questions she could ask Niambi. Kelly says she worries that Niambi thinks she is not nice, so the scariest question to ask her would be whether Niambi thinks she is a nice person. She says she doesn't know if she wants to know the answer. Rhonda tells Kelly to be willing to be rejected. She tells her to do that tonight and she will earn a key.

The gardening expert, Barbara Keegan, arrives to give a lesson on gardening to Kim. They go out by the pool were some rose bushes are planted, and Barbara shows Kim how to prune them and "communicate" with them.

Kelly sits with Niambi and asks her if she thinks she is being nice towards her. Niambi says that Kelly checked up on her last night, and she thought that was nice of her. Niambi says she has issues with being "not so nice" towards people too. In the confessional, Kelly says she is shocked that Niambi admitted that and that she and Niambi have similar issues.

Iyanla takes Jodi into a room with lit candles and a mirror set on the floor. Jodi sits in front of the mirror and looks at herself. In the confessional, Jodi says she has released the past and can see herself for who she is. Iyanla asks who Jodi sees in the mirror. Jodi says she sees Jodi. Iyanla asks Jodi to make a promise to herself in the mirror. Jodi starts crying and says she wants to let her mom and dad "off the hook," and she wants to stop punishing them. Jodi says she wants to have them in her life in an authentic way. In the confessional, Jodi says it is very powerful to know that she is enough.

Kim and Barbara continue working on the rose bushes. Rhonda comes outside and thanks Barbara for her help. Barbara says goodbye. Rhonda tells Kim that her relationships are like the rose bushes. She says some of them need a lot of work and might not make it, some of them just need to be pruned, and some are already healthy and just need a little TLC. She then gives Kim some flat sticks and tells her to write on each stick the status of her relationship with her aunt, husband, etc.

Jodi fills the bathtub and gets ready to take a bubble bath. In the confessional, Jodi says today has been a "huge, great day." She says she is going to sit in the bathtub and have a "victory soak."

Kelly finds a note on the door that is addressed to her. The note is from Rhonda and it says that Kelly has earned one of her keys (because of her conversation with Niambi). In the confessional, Kelly says she now has to ask her husband if he still loves her and then ask her kids to give her a second chance at being their mom. She says she knows how to do that now.

Preview: The newest roommate arrives with some pretty shocking behavior. Kelly confronts her family with life-changing questions. Niambi makes a stunning admission.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Bethany Makes Her Decision

The show begins with Niambi in the confessional. She says she is an only child and is used to being alone. She is having difficulty adjusting to the group atmosphere in the house. In the confessional, Christie says Niambi is guarded and she is having a hard time not being judgmental because Niambi is very stand-offish.

Jodi reads a note from Iyanla. It says that the women are going to go rock climbing today. In the confessional, Iyanla says this exercise will give the women an opportunity to participate in teamwork and to support each other. The note from Iyanla says that the women should each pick a support partner for the rock-climbing exercise.

The women arrive at Rock Creations and meet with their instructor, Hunter. Hunter gives them some guidelines for indoor rock-climbing and tells them they will be climbing the rock wall blindfolded and their support partners will help guide them up the wall. Each woman takes her turn climbing the wall and they all do well; Niambi goes last. In the confessional, Niambi says she feels the women have higher expectations of her because of her background in athletics. She says she feels a pressure to excel in this exercise. She also says she really doesn't need a support partner to make it up the wall, and could easily do it alone. In the confessional, Christie says she believe Niambi thinks they are all "cheese ball" and "corny." She says Niambi doesn't yet understand that that's just the way the women support and love each other.

The women arrive back at the house and Bethany, Sara and Rhonda meet. Rhonda asks how things are going and Sara says she thinks the house is a great place for Bethany. Rhonda tells Bethany that she knows she has been waffling about whether to stay in the house and today she will have to make a final decision. She tells her not to decide yet, however, and that she wants Bethany and Sara to spend the afternoon at the beach to talk it through first. Rhonda says she will meet Bethany later in the day to find out what she has decided.

The women gather for group and Iyanla arrives. Iyanla wants to talk about the distinction between help and support. Christie says when she helps someone it has always meant enabling them; she says supporting someone means being that person's cheerleader and always being there to listen. Iyanla asks the women who they find the easiest to support in the house. Kim says it is easiest to support Bethany. Then Iyanla asks who is the most difficult to support. Christie says it is Jodi because she always challenges her when she tries to offer her support. Jodi says Kelly is most difficult for her to support because they trigger each other so much. Iyanla then asks them to name the person they find most difficult to support in their lives. Niambi says her father is the most difficult because he always believes he is right. Kelly says her mom is the most difficult because she seems so fragile. Iyanla tells them that the way to support someone is to release your judgment about them. Group is adjourned.

Kelly calls her mom, Phyllis. She tells her mom that she feels her mom always wants her to be exactly as she wants her to be in order to get acceptance from her. Phyllis says Kelly is the same way. In the confessional, Kelly says she realizes she has angry feelings for her mom. Kelly tells her mom in no uncertain terms that she is never going to the person she wants her to be.

Iyanla meets with Niambi to help her "reframe" some things in her life. She asks Niambi about her relationships with men. Niambi says they haven't all been bad. Niambi tells Iyanla about a boyfriend she had in college. She says they shared common interests and related to each other well. She says the relationship ended because he "needed to focus" on other things. Iyanla asks her how that made her feel. Niambi says it felt familiar because that's the way it always was with her dad when she was growing up. She says her dad always had to focus on something "more important" than her, like his other family, money, his car, his dog, etc. Iyanla asks Niambi what she feels about that. Niambi says sometimes she just told herself it didn't matter, and sometimes she tried to prove she did in fact matter.

Rhonda arrives to meet with Kelly. Kelly tells Rhonda she had a "fantastic" discussion with her mom. She says she thinks she handled the discussion correctly. In the confessional, Rhonda says Kelly punishes people in her life and that she has made a mess of her life from behaving that way. Rhonda tells Kelly she is an "expert punisher." She then brings out a basket with various food items in it. Each food has a blank label on it. She tells Kelly to write on each label the name of a person she has punished and how she punished him/her.

Iyanla and Niambi continue their discussion. Iyanla wants Niambi to write down three important relationships she has had with men. She writes down the long-term relationship she had in college, the relationship with her father, and her current relationship with "Situation Man." In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi has been with a man for two years, but she calls him "Situation Man" because he lives with another woman. Iyanla tells Niambi to write down one positive and one negative thing that happened in each relationship.

Kelly has finished filling out the labels on the food items. Rhonda comes back and they go outside together with the basket of food. There is a mat laid out on the ground and Rhonda starts opening the food and splattering it on the mat. Kelly talks about how she punishes various people in her life as they open and pour out each package of food. She says she punished a friend at work (Janet), because she got a promotion and she was jealous of her. She says she punishes her husband by not letting him express his own opinions. She punishes her sister for moving away with their father when they were young and she punishes her son, Mike, for not living up to her "perfectionist" ideal of him. Rhonda says Kelly punishes people when they don't stay exactly as they are, or when she believes their loyalties have changed in any way. In the confessional, Kelly says she is still punishing people in her life because it's the way she has always been. Rhonda and Kelly continue to splatter food like syrup and flour, etc., all over the mat. Then Rhonda gives Kelly "tools" she has been using in her life to clean up all her messes. She gives her a ruler, some glue and some cleaner. She tells Kelly to try to clean up the mess with those tools because those are the tools she has been using all her life. Kelly stands there with her tools and looks at the mess.

Bethany and Sara go to the beach. In the confessional, Sara says she thinks the SO house is a safe place for Bethany to be and she wants her to stay. They go over the pros and cons of Bethany staying as they sit on the beach. Bethany says she is torn; a part of her wants to stay and part wants to leave.

Kelly has wrapped up the mat and hidden the mess inside it. Rhonda comes back and sees what she has done. She says that is exactly what Kelly has always done; she has wrapped messy things up in a nice pretty package. She says Kelly is still trying to pretend that everything is okay when it isn't. Rhonda asks her if that is true, and Kelly says it is, but she doesn't know how to change it. Rhonda tells her the only way to change it is by being honest and speaking the truth. She tells Kelly she wants her to call three people she has punished in the past and tell them she is sorry. She also tells Kelly to call her husband and sons and invite them to the house for a one-on-one.

Bethany and Sara arrive back at the house. Bethany tells Kim she still hasn't decided whether or not she will stay.

Iyanla and Niambi go over the pros and cons of each of her three important relationships. Iyanla wants to help Niambi "reframe" the negative experiences she has had in these relationships. She tells Niambi that instead of thinking that her boyfriend from college "bailed" on her, for example, she could reframe it by thinking he gave her freedom. She tells Niambi that he also taught her that she is loveable because he did love her. Niambi starts crying. Iyanla tells her to say she is loveable and Niambi does. Iyanla asks her if she believes it and Niambi says she wants to believe it. In the confessioanl, Niambi says she feels like a "bucket of water" in the house. She says she has been masking her emotions for a long time and now they are all bubbling to the surface.

Kelly calls her sister, Glenda, to apologize for punishing her. Kelly is nervous and thinks her sister might reject her. Glenda, however, sounds very accepting of Kelly's apology. Kelly tells her it was wrong of her to punish her like that.

Stan and Rhonda arrive to meet with Bethany and find out her decision. Bethany tells them she feels like she could "vomit" because she is so emotional about making this decision. Stan says people come to the house to solve issues in their lives and that you have to have a certain amount of strength to do it. Bethany says she doesn't have the strenght to do it right now. Stan tells her that he and Rhonda don't want her to do anything she is not ready to do. Bethany says she has decided not to stay in the house. Rhonda then tells Bethany she can either leave tonight with her sister, or she can wait until the morning and spend a little extra time with her housemates before she goes. Bethany says she will leave in the morning. In the confessional, Stan says Bethany is just too overwhelmed by grief to be in the house right now. He tells Bethany to seek out a bereavement counselor when she gets home. He also tells her he thinks she has made a good decision and they all support her. Rhonda tells her that she will always be her life coach and will always be there for her. She says Bethany might decide to come back to the house when it is a better time for her.

Bethany then goes to tell her housemates of her decision. Stan and Rhonda go with her to support her. She tells them and Stan says it is a unified decision of the house. In the confessional, Christie says she feels horrible that Bethany is leaving.

Bethany packs her things and Sara helps her. In the confessional, Sara says she feels in her heart that Bethany has made the right decision for herself. She says it seems like a weight has been lifted from Bethany's shoulders.

Kelly calls her husband, Dave, and tells him Rhonda wants him and their sons to come to the house. After Kelly gets off the phone, she notices that Niambi has fallen asleep on a bench near the phone. She goes and tells the other women. In the confessional, Kelly says Niambi doesn't even realize that Bethany is leaving in the morning because she has been isolated and asleep on the bench.

the women gather at the front door and say goodbye to Sara. Later Jodi tells Christie and Kelly that she doesn't understand why Bethany is leaving. Jodi says she thinks Bethany really wants to stay. Kelly says Bethany wishes she could stay, but she can't because she is not ready. In the confessional, Jodi says she is very sad that Bethany is leaving and she doesn't want her to go.

Preview: Jodi fears she can't hold on anymore. Kelly goes into uncharted territory. Christie's fears take over.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Happy Easter!

Friday, April 14, 2006

The New Housemate Arrives

The show begins with the women cleaning the house in anticipation of their new housemate. In the confessional, Bethany says she is excited to meet the new woman and she is also very excited to see her sister, Sara, who will also be arriving today.

The newest housemate, Niambi, is in the limo on her way to the house. She says she is anxious about entering the house, but wants to work through things that have been holding her back in her life. The limo pulls up to the house and the women all gather to greet Niambi. Kelly then takes Niambi to the bedroom they will be sharing and shows her around.

The women gather for group and Rhonda and Iyanla arrive. Iyanla wants to jump right in and get to know Niambi. She tells her that she will be her primary life coach and then she puts Niambi's first photo up on the plasma. The photo is of Niambi's parents. Niambi says her parents divorced two years after she was born. She says she was raised by her mom and her dad remarried. She now has a stepsister and a half-sister. She says her half-sister is her dad's favorite. Niambi says she was a tomboy and her dad thought she should be more feminine. He told her she would never get a man with her "ugly legs" which were scarred up from playing rough as a child. Iyanla asks her if she thinks her dad wanted a son instead of a daughter. Niambi says he definitely did.

In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi comes across as confident, but she can sense that underneath the confidence are self-esteem issues. Iyanla puts the next photo up on the plasma, which is of Niambi when she was 16 years old at a dance recital. Niambi says she did African dance for many years and then turned to athletics. She says her dad never came to her dance recitals or her athletic meets. The next photo is of Niambi in a long jump competition. Iyanla asks Niambi whether she was good at athletics. Niambi says she was good enough to make a living at it. She was also ranked #1 in the triple jump at one time. She says it wasn't about winning to her however, but was about competing against herself.

Iyanla asks Niambi whether she has a sense of pride and accomplishment about all she has done in the athletic world. Niambi says she didn't feel that way while she was participating in it. She says she has a lot of negative self-talk, etc. In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi lacks self value and worth and is abusive towards herself.

Niambi says she is "on strike" from running/jumping now. She says she doesn't want to run anymore because it became unpleasant and difficult. She says her life was always very structured and regimented, and now that she has quit athletics she "eats crazy" and doesn't work out. Iyanla says it seems as though Niambi has a major disconnect from something. Niambi says she has never figured out who she is. She says she did the athletics in order to get approval. Iyanla asks her whether she ever got the approval she was seeking, and Niambi says she didn't.

Next they show a photo of the man Niambi is currently seeing. Niambi says it isn't a "relationship," but more of a "situation." She says the guy already had a girlfriend when they met, and she told him she didn't want to get involved with him, but he was extemely persistent. She says he kept calling her and showing up at her house. She says she lets him "manhandle" her. Iyanla asks how long she has been in the relationship, and Niambi says it isn't a relationship, but they have had a "situation" together for two years and have been intimate with each other.

Rhonda asks Niambi why there has been no commitment after two years. Niambi says it's because he already has a girlfriend. She then says she confronted his girlfriend at one time. Iyanla says Niambi was being a "biatch" and was competing with the guy's girlfriend. Iyanla asks Niambi why she didn't just leave the guy alone and Niambi says she tried. Iyanla says Niambi is a "fierce competitor" and that's why she confronted the girlfriend (to compete with her).

Next they show Niambi's self-portrait. It has one head and three faces within the head. To the right of the drawing she has written, "The Three Faces of Eve." Iyanla says it means Niambi can change in a moment into a different person. Then she tells Niambi that she can't play the game (of competition) in the house because she doesn't know the rules. She says the first rule of the house is that you have to love yourself, and she tells Niambi that she doesn't know how to do that.

Then Iyanla has Niambi's goal in the house put up on the plasma; the goal is "Run Towards Life." Niambi likes the goal and starts crying. She says she has been running away from everything and almost doesn't have a life. Iyanla tells her that they will meet later and tells her to dress comfortably. Group is adjourned.

The women are in the kitchen (except Niambi), and they say they really like her. Kelly says she is very beautiful. Christie says she is so raw and new. She says it reminds her of how she felt when she came into the house. Kelly says it is going to be rough for Niambi and that she "actually has compassion" for her.

Niambi unpacks. In the confessional, she says she feels like a bystander in her own life. She says she is nervous about being vulnerable in the house and is aware of the risk she is taking by opening up and perhaps being judged.

Bethany's sister, Sara, arrives. She and Bethany go in the kitchen and talk. In the confessional, Bethany says they are very close and usually see each other on a daily basis.

Niambi arrives at a track to meet with Iyanla, who is there waiting for her. They sit in the bleachers together and Iyanla asks her how it feels to look out over the track. Niambi says it is sad because she feels that it is over for her now. She says she has now stopped running and has taken a menial job that she doesn't like. In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi is a professional runner and has been running all her life. She says she has no sense of who she is now.

Iyanla has Niambi go on the track and do a lap around it. Niambi does so and then comes back to sit next to Iyanla. Iyanla asks her what she has been running from. Niambi lists things she has been running from and Iyanla writes them down on pieces of paper. Niambi says she is running from judgment, abandonment, the fear of being alone, etc. Then Iyanla tapes the pieces of paper on hurdles placed on the track. She then gets Niambi to jump over the hurdles. Niambi does so. Afterwards Iyanla tells her that she needs to show up in her life the best she can.

Rhonda, Bethany and Sara meet. Rhonda tells Sara that Bethany has said Sara is her main support system. Sara says it goes both ways and they both support each other. Bethany says they are closer now since the death of Shelby and have developed an even deeper level of trust. Sara says she wanted Bethany to come to the house because she didn't see her getting help any other way. She says she already sees a positive change in Bethany and can see the spark of the old Bethany coming back. Bethany starts crying and says she feels guilty about enjoying herself without Shelby. She says it's hard to realize that things are moving forward without Shelby.

Rhonda asks Bethany to tell her sister her goal. Bethany says it is to rediscover joy. Rhonda says in order to do that Bethany will have to let go of Shelby. Bethany says she doesn't want to do that. Rhonda says their approach to helping Bethany is two-pronged: They are going to help her with her grief, but also have action-oriented tasks and exercises. Then Rhonda gives them a scrapbook that says "Bethany Through The Ages" on the front. She wants Bethany and Sara to make a scrapbook about Bethany's life. Rhonda leaves them to the project.

Niambi returns from the track. She tells Jodi a little about it as the two make something to eat. In the confessional, Jodi says Niambi seems very pleasant and she likes her.

Bethany and Sara work on the scrapbook together. Bethany says it feels great and she is elated to go through old pictures of herself and think about her life.

Iyanla and Niambi meet to create Niambi's steps. Iyanla asks Niambi what she most wants. Niambi says she wants to learn self-acceptance. Iyanla asks her what the most challenging aspect of her life is right now, and Niambi says it is in the area of relationships. Niambi's first step is "Learn The ABC's Of Love." They talk about Niambi's "situation" with the guy who already has a girlfriend. Niambi says she thinks of him as "Mr. Right Now" and felt that he was ultimately the girlfriend's problem and not hers. Niambi then says she didn't think she was good enough to have a man to herself. Iyanla tells Niambi that she is a powerful creator, but she is just not creating what she wants in her life. Niambi's second step is "Embrace Inner Authority." Her third step is "Create Loving Experiences." Iyanla tells Niambi it takes willingness, readiness, and allowance to be successful in the house and asks Niambi if she is ready. Niambi says she is.

Rhonda, Bethany and Sara meet to go over the scrapbook. Bethany talks about going to college and that it was a proud accomplishment for her. She also talks about how much she enjoys dancing. Rhonda tells Bethany that she has an assignment for her; she is to give the housemates dancing lessons tonight. Bethany is very excited about it.

In the confessional, Niambi says she has been living an unfulfilling life of loneliness. She says she is very unhappy and is looking forward to finding happiness.

The women all gather in the living room and dance together. They seem to all be having a great time. In the confessional, Bethany says she does like having a good time. In the confessional, Sara says she is impressed that Bethany feels so comfortable dancing and letting loose.

Later in the evening, Kim and Niambi are outside talking. Niambi tells Kim she has been abrasive with people in her life in the past. In the confessional, Kim tells her it is better to feel your feelings than to suppress them.

Niambi checks her voice mail and she has one message; it is from "Situation Man." He says in the message that her being at the house will give them both time to think. He says he wants to break the cycle of hurting people and he wants to "clean up the muck" in his life. In the confessional, Niambi says she thinks "Situation Man" is self-absorbed and ego-centric. She says she is letting him go in her head and she hopes to let him go in her heart.

Preview: Christie can't deal with Niambi. Jodi feels she can't hold on anymore. Kelly slides back to her old ways. Niambi struggles with a broken heart. Bethany has a big decision to make.

Have a great weekend and Happy Easter!!

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Jodi And Kelly Argue and Addictions

The show begins with the women gathering for group. Rhonda arrives and tells the women she wants to talk about alcoholism and other addictions today. She asks them what they think of when they think of an alcoholic. Christie says it means to her someone who is escaping feelings and just can't control how much s/he drinks. Christie says she used to think of an alcoholic as someone who had to drink every day; now she realizes she is an alcoholic because of the way she would binge on alcohol and couldn't stop drinking once she started.

Rhonda says people tend to believe that an alcoholic is someone who is always obsessed with alcohol, but that isn't necessarily true. She also says that for many people, addiction stems from feelings of shame about who they are. She says addicts do not like themselves and would rather be someone else.

Jodi says it isn't only alcohol that can be used addictively. She says she used food and talks about being bulimic. She says she used food to "numb" herself and not feel anything. She says when she finally asked for help and told her mom about the bulimia, her mom didn't take it seriously. She says she felt all alone and that she had to wage a "quiet battle" against bulimia. Jodi says she still has to fight the feeling of wanting to act in a bulimic manner. She says certain foods are "bulimic foods" to her, and she has to stay away from them.

Christie says she uses food to soothe herself and she likes to bake brownies, etc., when she is feeling bad. Jodi says that it is hard to be around all the snacking in the house and that it irks her the way people in the house go back and forth from eating healthy foods to eating junk. In the confessional, Kelly wonders "who made "Jodi the rule maker?" She says what she eats is her decision and not Jodi's.

Kelly says cigarettes were her addiction. She says she smoked for 25 years. She started feeling out of breath all the time and it got worse and worse. She finally went to the doctor and had a chest x-ray. They told her she had "nodules" on her lungs. She says she looked herself in the mirror that day and decided she would never smoke again; she has not smoked since then.

Rhonda says addiction takes away our focus, energy and time. She says it lessens our ability to be empowered. She tells the women that they all have the capacity to heal themselves, even if it doesn't seem as if they do. Group is adjourned.

Dr. David Crausman, an addiction expert, arrives to meet with Kim regarding her and her husband's issues with alcohol. Kim tells him that she is concerned about her husband, Jeff's drinking, and says he has a very addictive personality. She says she can have one glass of wine, but Jeff will drink the whole bottle and then open another one. Dr. Crausman asks Kim whether she thinks she had a drinking problem. Kim says everybody in her family drinks, so it is normal behavior to her. She says, however, that she doesn't think she has a drinking problem. In the confessional, Kim says she is not very concerned that she has a drinking problem; she says she doesn't think she has one.

Dr. Crausman says he is concerned that Kim may be projecting her issues with alcohol onto Jeff and not taking responsibility for her own actions. Kim thinks about that for a minute, but doesn't agree. She says she will do whatever it takes to have alcohol out of her and Jeff's life. In the confessional, Kim says she now understands that in order to help Jeff she has to look at the big picture, including her own drinking habits.

Dr. Crausman says the first step for Kim is to talks to Jeff about the issue. He asks Kim what she will do if he says he doesn't want to stop drinking. Kim says that would be her worst nightmare. She says that it would lead to her leaving Jeff and being a single mother, which is what she fears most. Dr. Crausman says that Kim needs to share with Jeff that him not quitting the drinking is a deal breaker for her.

Kelly, Christie, Bethany and Jodi are in the kitchen. Kelly and Jodi are both cooking their own breakfast. Kelly says she is "pissed" about things. She says she makes her own decisions about what she eats. Jodi says to Kelly that she can't let it bother her what Jodi said in group. Kelly says, "don't tell me how to feel." Jodi tells Kelly she is "throwing" her emotions onto her. Kelly says she didn't ask Jodi for anything (ED for input). Kelly asks Jodi what Jodi would do if she told her she couldn't smoke cigarettes. Jodi says she smokes outside away from Kelly. Jodi then says she doesn't have a problem with what Kelly eats. Kelly says Jodi does in fact have a problem with it and brings up a situation that happened the night before, in which Jodi made some comment about snacks Kelly and Bethany were eating. Kelly says in the real world people eat and you can't ask them to put their food away because you're on a diet. Jodi says she didn't ask Kelly to put her snacks away. Then they start talking about an issue they had in the past with potatoes (ED: this issue is a little unclear). Jodi then says that in the house they are supposed to be supporting each other. Kelly says "I'm not supporting you with $hit." Kelly then walks out of the kitchen.

In the confessional, Christie, who was in the kitchen during the argument, says that both of the women are being nasty and the situation is a real mess. In the confessional, Kelly says Jodi only wants support on her terms and only when she asks for it. Then she says (as if speaking to Jodi), "you're on a diet! Say it...DIET. I wish I wasn't but I am," meaning that's what Jodi should say.

Jodi talks to Christie and Bethany about the snack incident that occurred the night before. She asks Bethany whether she thought she was angry at her. Bethany says she thought Jodi was angry when she commented on the snacks she and Kelly were eating, but she didn't think Jodi was angry at them; just at the situation of not being able to eat the snacks too. Christie says that was her interpretation as well.

Kelly calls her husband, Dave, and tells him she had an argument with Jodi. She says Jodi is trying to tell her what she can eat, but she can eat whatever she wants and doesn't want to support Jodi on her dieting issue. In the confessional, Kelly says she is at the house to heal the wounds within herself and with her family and friends. She says she is not here for Jodi. Kelly tells her husband she feels stuck in the house with no way to get away from Jodi.

Rhonda arrives and meets with Bethany outside. Rhonda mentions that Bethany's sister, Sara, is coming to the house tomorrow. Bethany says she is excited to see her because she is her support. She says it was Sara who encouraged her to come to the house. Bethany says even if she decides to leave the house, she wants to get some sort of counseling, but she wouldn't know where to look for that kind of help. Rhonda says a lot of people let that stop them. Bethany says she is afraid of facing the unknown. Rhonda says her job is to "embrace the unknown." Rhonda asks Bethany whether this is the first time in her life that she has put herself first. Bethany says it is probably is, but worries that it might be selfish. Rhonda says putting yourself first is a very nice gift to give yourself. She says you will feel selfish when you do that at first, but if you're too afraid to feel selfish, you will never be able to be there for yourself.

Kelly and Dr. Stan meet outside. In the confessional, Stan says Kelly often devalues herself and he wants to talk with her about that issue. Kelly tells Stan that she and Jodi "got into it." Kelly says she is perturbed because she feels like she can't eat what she wants in the house (because of Jodi). Stan asks Kelly if Jodi issued an "edict" of some kind that prohibits Kelly from eating what she wants. Kelly says Jodi did do that. She talks about the way Jodi commented on snacks she was eating the night before, and says it made her feel like she was five years old. Then she tells Stan about what Jodi said in group about people in the house sometimes eating healthy and sometimes eating junk food. Kelly tells Stan that she usually lets Jodi cook her breakfast first, but because Jodi said that in group, she cooked her breakfast at the same time as Jodi. Stan asks Kelly if she was doing that to "punish" Jodi. At first Kelly denies it. Then Stan says it was "retribution wasn't it?" Kelly then says it absolutely was retribution. In the confessional, Kelly says she doesn't want to give up bacon, candy and sodas. She says she doesn't want to support Jodi with her diet.

Stan says he wants to talk with Kelly about her self-worth. In the confessional, he says Kelly has poor sense of her own self-worth and he wants to help her boost it. He tells Kelly that she doesn't see herself as being worth a great deal. He wants her to write down on a large piece of paper that he has set up all the things Kelly does in a normal day at home. Kelly writes that she shops, is a taxi for her kids, does the bills, laundry, etc. Stan asks how much she thinks these things are worth. Kelly estimates that they're probably worth about 20k per year. Stan tells Kelly to go research what she would have to pay someone to do all the jobs she does for free and that they will meet later.

Rhonda and Kim meet to discuss Kim's meeting with Dr. Crausman. Kim says the meeting went well and was helpful. Rhonda says she wants Kim to call her husband and talk to him about the alcohol issue. She wants Kim and Jeff to create a plan to stop drinking. Kim says she is very afraid of having that conversation because she wants Jeff to stop drinking so bad (and she's afraid he won't).

Bethany gets a call from her sister, Sara. Sara tells her she will be flying out in the morning and will be at the house tomorrow.

Jodi tells Christie that Kelly has told her not to expect anything from her. She says she has supported Kelly numerous times, but that in order to have a friendship there is give and take. She says Kelly doesn't give; she only takes.

Kelly is on the computer working on her assignment from Dr. Stan. She is starting to realize that the jobs she does for free would cost her a lot of money if she were to hire someone to do them for her.

Iyanla arrives to meet with Jodi. In the confessional, Iyanla says Jodi's mask of control and denial is covering some deeper issue inside Jodi. She asks Jodi why she thinks she wears the mask. Jodi says she thinks she wears it so people won't see her inadequacies. Iyanla tells her there is another possibility for why Jodi wears a mask.

Stan arrives and meets with Kelly, who has finished her assignment. They go over it together, and Kelly says it would cost her $718 per day, and over $216,000 per year to hire people to do all the jobs she does at home. She says she is shocked by that.

Iyanla tells Jodi that perhaps she wears the mask because she doesn't want people to see how deeply wounded she is. Jodi agrees and says she doesn't want people to see that she feels "weak and pathetic" inside. Iyanla asks Jodi whether she has ever "nursed" her wound; if she has ever just sat with the pain of it. Iyanla says Jodi has to look inside herself and realize how she is showing up in the world. Jodi says she had an issue with Kelly today and that she was proud of the way she handled it.

Stan and Kelly are still talking. Stan tells her that she is so task-oriented that she has let emotional issues slide. Kelly agrees with him. In the confessional, Stan says that once Kelly can see her own value, she will no longer care what others say and think about her.

Jodi and Iyanla continue their discussion. Jodi tells Iyanla that Kelly got upset with her about the food issue. Iyanla says it doesn't matter what everyone else is eating or doing; it only matters what Jodi is doing. Jodi says when they snack, etc., it makes it difficult for her. Iyanla says that isn't true. She says it is difficult for Jodi because she hasn't made a firm commitment to herself yet.

Kim calls her husband, Jeff. She tells him she has a serious issue to discuss and is afraid to talk about it. Jeff tells her to just "jump right in." Kim asks Jeff how he feels about her decision to give up alcohol. Jeff says he feels good about it. Kim asks him how he would feel about joining her in giving it up. Jeff says it is not realistic in the long term. He says he will eventually want to have a few drinks socially. Kim says she is committed to not drinking at all. Jeff says he does not have cravings for alcohol and it is only socially that he really wants to drink. Kim says that isn't exactly true and that the biggest arguments they have had are over Jeff's drinking at home. In the confessional, Kim says that Jeff is in denial about his drinking. She says he has said he wouldn't drink in the past, but then starts drinking again. Jeff says they have to keep things in perspective. Kim says she is scared that he won't give it up completely and that she feels like her worst nightmare will come true if that happens and that she will end up a single parent.

Preview: The new roommate moves in. Bethany's sister arrives at the house. And she has some surprising things to say.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Christie Models and Bethany Is Undecided

This evening is the Wednesday 8PM ET chat! If you would like to participate, click on the live chat link (it's right under the FAQ link in the forum), or click here. As always, you can use any username you like to enter the chat room. Everybody has a good time at these chats and all are welcome.

The show starts with Christie getting a phone call from Rhonda. In the confessional, Rhonda says the women are anxiously awaiting a new housemate since Lisa left, but she says things never happen the way the women think they will at the SO house. On the phone, Rhonda tells Christie that she is going to have a special day today and is going to get to experience what it is like to model. In the confessional, Rhonda says Christie has always dreamed of being a model, and today she will get to see whether it is something she really wants to do. Rhonda tells Christie that Andy Paige will be arriving later to help her prepare to have photos taken. Christie is very excited.

Dr. Stan arrives and the women meet for group. He wants to discuss the holidays with the women and how holidays can be difficult on an emotional level. He asks the women to describe their favorite holiday memory. Christie says it was the C-mas that she was in kindergarten. She says she made a clay sculpture of a C-mas tree in school and gave it to her grandmother, who really loved it. She says her grandmother still puts out that clay tree every C-mas. Kim says her favorite holiday was last C-mas when she decorated the tree with toy cars for Jax. Kelly says last year she and her husband set up two C-mas trees; one for each of their sons. She says they decorated their own C-mas tree and there was no fighting, etc. Bethany says last year was her favorite memory. She says it was the first time she and Shelby were in their own home and it was just the two of them. Stan tells Bethany that she doesn't have to mourn Shelby every day of her life, nor does she have to punish herself for the accident. He asks Bethany if she likes for people to bring up Shelby, and Bethany says she loves to talk about her and wants people to keep her memory alive. Stan tells them all to have a great day and group is adjourned.

Bethany tells Kim that she is only at the house because her family wanted her to be there. In the confessional, Kim says she can't fathom how terribly Bethany must feel, but she thinks Bethany will get a lot out of being there if she stays. Kim tells Bethany that she should talk to Dr Stan and tell him how she feels. In the confessional, Bethany says she wants to be home with her family, and although this is a once in a lifetime experience, she really doesn't want to be at the house.

Andy Paige arrives to help Christie. She tells Christie to gather her best accessories, her shoe wardrobe, etc., before they leave. In the confessional, Christie says she is nervous and excited; she thinks the photo shoot will go very well.

Jodi is on the phone with Iyanla. Iyanla tells her she will be meeting with an art therapist today to paint her mask. She tells Jodi to use the mask to express her feelings. Jodi says she likes the idea.

Bethany talks with Kelly about the accident that took her daughter's life. She says it is still surreal to her and sometimes she can't believe it actually happened. In the confessional, Kelly says she thinks Bethany is courageous, but that it will take time and trust for her to truly express her feelings over the loss. In the confessional, Kelly also says she is very grateful for her own children, and feels ashamed that she hasn't appreciated them in the past. In the confessional, Bethany says a lot of times she just wants to hide away and not feel, but she is determined to move past it.

Christie and Andy arrive at the clothing store called Silhouettes. Christie tries on clothes, and then they choose a few outfits that the store owner is letting Christie borrow for her photo shoot.

the art therapist, Trish Vernazza, arrives to meet with Jodi. Trish helps Jodi choose colors that represent her feelings and Jodi paints her mask.

Christie and Andy arrive at a photography studio. Christie has her make-up done by Margaret Kimura; Margaret also gives her some tips about modeling. In the confessional, Christie says she is getting more and more nervous about the photo shoot.

Jodi continues painting her mask and talking with Trish. Jodi says the painting the mask makes it more real. In the confessional, Trish says Jodi has issues with control, denial and fear. She says that Jodi began to look inside while she painted the mask and saw the loving side of her as well. Jodi has finished painting the mask and says she sees love and acceptance in it. She tells Trish, however, that she doesn't want to keep the mask any longer. Trish tells her to hold onto it for a while and "sit with it."

The photographer starts taking Christie's photos. In the confessional, Christie says she feels awkward and silly while she is having her photos taken. Andy tries to give Christie some pointers on modeling; she tells her about showing different emotions in your face during each pose, etc. In the confessional, Andy says you have to have a real passion to do modeling, and she is not sure Christie has that passion for it.

Dr. Stan arrives to meet with Bethany. They go outside to talk. Bethany tells Stan she has had some "awakenings" and she wants to be home with her family. She says she doesn't want to be a the house. Stan tells her that she is probably getting fatigued from all the grief work. He tells her this is the last day they were going to focus on her grief, and then they are going to move onto helping Bethany rediscover herself. Bethany says she is still going over the pros and cons of staying and has yet to make a final decision. Stan tells her to write down a list of the pros and cons and then they can go over it. In the confessional, Stan says most of the women want to go home initially, but Bethany has a stronger pull because of her tragic experience with losing her daughter. Stan tells Bethany he will come back later to talk with her again.

Christie is still at the photo studio. She is getting her hair done for another series of photos. In this series, she is supposed to appear "edgy." They start taking more photos, but it isn't going very well. In the confessional, Christie says she realizes now that modeling really is a job. She says the photographer is getting frustrated with her and she is getting frustrated with herself. She says modeling is an incredible amount of work.

After the photo shoot, Christie, the photographer, and Andy go over the photos and some of them have turned out very nice. In the confessional, Christie says what she got out of this assignment is the realization that she is starting to love herself.

Dr. Stan comes back to the house to meet with Bethany again. They take a walk together and Bethany tells him she is exhausted. Stan says they have a process in the house of getting the women to express their emotions until they feel that they have been processed. Bethany says she is still confused about whether she wants to stay. In the confessional, Stan says he thinks Bethany will regret leaving and that perhaps if her sister came out to support her, she would feel better about staying. Stan tells Bethany they are going to start working on discovering other aspects of Bethany's personality soon. Bethany says she feels guilty about going on that journey. Stan says that Bethany will always be Shelby's mother and motherhood is a title Bethany will always have because she earned it. He says, however, that there are other aspects of Bethany that they can discover. He then tells Bethany to ask her sister, Sarah, to come to the house and give her support. He tells her to call her sister and they will work out the details later. Bethany feels good about having her sister to the house because her sister is her number one supporter.

Christie and Andy arrive back at the house. Christie tells the women about the photo shoot. She tells them she doesn't necessarily think modeling is her passion. In the confessional, Christie says she doesn't know whether she could handle the rejection and disappointments that are inherent in the modeling business.

Bethany calls her sister, Sarah, and asks her to come to the house on Wednesday. Sarah sounds hesitant at first, but then says she will come. In the confessional, Bethany says Sarah is afraid to fly out there alone. She says she is so happy that Sarah is coming because she can help her decide what to do about staying in the house or leaving.

There is a note on the door for Jodi from Iyanla. The note says Jodi is to give her housemates a survey and they are to look at Jodi's painted mask and circle the adjectives on the survey that they think describe Jodi's mask. Jodi leaves the women to complete the surveys. After the women are finished with their surveys, Jodi collects them. In the confessional, Jodi says she kind of wishes she wouldn't have shared her assignment with the other women because it makes her feel vulnerable. She says some of the words that they used to describe her mask "freak her out." She says Kelly and Kim both used the word "arrogant" to describe the mask, but she does concede that she can be arrogant at times.

The women get ready for bed. In the confessional, Christie says she has decided that modeling is not her life's passion and it is really hard work. In the confessional, Bethany says she is genuinely torn about whether she will stay or go.

Preview: Jodi opens up for the first time about a major tragedy in her life. Tension between Jodi and Kelly erupts again. Kelly's patience has worn thin.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Lisa Graduates

The show starts with Christie in the confessional talking about Lisa's upcoming graduation. She says she is grateful to have had Lisa in the house and she is going to miss her very much. In the confessional, Jodi says she feels very connected to Lisa and although she is excited for her, she is not ready to see her leave.

Dr. Stan and Rhonda meet with Bethany to follow up on the meeting Bethany had yesterday with Susan, another mother who lost her child. Stan asks Bethany what she learned from talking with Susan. Bethany says she has learned that she has to keep going; she thinks she can have happiness and joy in her life again, but it won't be the same as before she lost Shelby. Stan tells her that the joy will be different, but it won't necessarily be painful. In the confessional, Rhonda says Bethany is afraid of experiencing joy because she will feel guilty that she is experiencing it without Shelby. Bethany tells Stan and Rhonda that she is exhausted and feel "beat." Stan mentions that Bethany will be attending her first graduation ceremony tonight, and Bethany says she is excited about that.

Andy Paige is applying Lisa's make-up for her. Lisa says she is anxious to graduate and ready to face whatever awaits her.

Later in the evening, Rhonda, Dr. Stan and Iyanla arrive and the women gather outside by the pool for Lisa's graduation. Iyanla gives each woman a candle and tells them to light it, float it in the pool, and express a hope for Lisa's future. Jodi places her candle in the water and says her hope for Lisa is that she takes in all the love around her and that she always loves herself. Christie hope is for Lisa to continue to take risks in her life. Bethany hopes Lisa continues to laugh and love life.

Everybody take a seat and Iyanla announces Lisa as she comes down the stairs. Everybody stands up and cheers. She is wearing a very beautiful orange dress and has a very pretty new hairstyle. In the confessional, Christie says Lisa looks sexy and appears 20 years younger. Lisa takes her seat and Iyanla goes to the podium.

Iyanla says she has a surprise for Lisa and she brings out Lisa's daughter, Stefanie. Lisa is overwhelmed with happiness to see her daughter and they hug. Stefanie takes a seat beside Lisa.

Iyanla says Lisa's goal was to Rebuild The Ruins Of Her Life. She says when Lisa first arrived at the house the goal seemed almost impossible to achieve. She says she asked Lisa whether she wanted to stay the same, fix a few things in her life, or completely revolutionize her life. Lisa told her she wanted to revolutionize it because she didn't know how to fix it. Iyanla talks about when Lisa told her story for the first time, and they flashback to when Lisa talked about her husband, Tony, having an affair. Iyanla says Lisa was very sad, but didn't recognize her own contribution to her misery. Iyanla says one thing about a revolution is that it starts with a conflict. She says Lisa had a lot of inner conflict and mentions the exercise Lisa had in the "swamp of misery." They flashback to that exercise. Iyanla says another fact about revolution is that people are unhappy with conditions, which is what leads to it. She says Lisa was very unhappy about many of the conditions in her life. She says Lisa didn't realize that it was because she had not decided to make new choices in her life. They flashback to the exercise in which Lisa had to ask others what clothes she should wear and then had to wear that outfit for several days.

Iyanla says Lisa's next step was to face her favorite word, which was "embarrassing." She says Lisa was always worried about embarrassing herself. Iyanla says she gave Lisa an opportunity to really embarrass herself with the "queen of the world" exercise, in which Lisa had to should that she was the queen of the world to strangers on the street. They flashback to that exercise. Iyanla says as the days went on, she started seeing another Lisa. She says this Lisa had to deal with confrontation, which is also an aspect of any revolution. Iyanla says Lisa had to confront her own demons. They flashback to the exercise in which Lisa had to hold up pails of paint that represented things in her life with which she was unhappy. Iyanla says with that exercise, Lisa learned to let go and Lisa told her she felt that a weight had been lifted.

Iyanla continues and says that Lisa next had to tell her story. They flashback to the "enchanted forest" exercise. Iyanla says all the while Lisa was telling her story; she had been casting herself as the victim. She says that with the enchanted forest exercise, Lisa realized that she was the director, producer, star ad understudy in the "nightmare of her life." She says after that realization they took things in another direction. They flashback to when Lisa washed her hands in the "potion" in order ot symbolize healing. Iyanla then talks about how Lisa took her fairy tale story and turned it into a letter that she then sent out to all the people in her life whom she had "victimized."

Iyanla says that even that was not enough, however, and Lisa then had to find her passion. They flashback to when Lisa took the flamenco dancing lesson. Iyanla says that now that Lisa's heart had opened up, some rage and emotional energy had to be released. They flashback to when Lisa stomped on the dirt of a potted plant that Iyanla had thrown to the ground. Iyanla says Lisa really stomped out some of her anger that day and afterwards, Lisa was willing to create something new so it was then time for the "big plunge." They flashback to when Lisa faced her fear of water and jumped in the pool. Iyanla says Lisa jumped "fully clothed into the river of life."

Iyanla says her hope for Lisa is that she always remembers she is the queen of the world. She tells Lisa that she gets to sit on the throne and call forth whatever it is she desires to experience. She tells Lisa congratulations and they hug.

Rhonda comes up to the podium next. She says her fondest memory of Lisa is the way Lisa always expressed herself in group by telling a story first. She says after Lisa would tell the story, she would then tell the truth. She says she knew Lisa was ready to graduate when she started off not with a story, but with the truth. Rhonda's hope for Lisa is that she surrounds herself with truth-sayers who care more about the truth than stories. Rhonda hugs Lisa.

Stan is next to the podium. He says it is stunning what Lisa has accomplished in such a short period of time. He says many women get married at 18-20 years old and stop growing. He says that Lisa has had 30 years of maturation while in the house. He says it was amazing when Lisa came to the realization that maybe she was sad because of her own actions. They flashback to a conversation Lisa had with her husband, Tony, in which she tells him she wants to work on the marriage. Stan says it was by letting go of the perfect romantic ideal that Lisa began the process of creating a happy healthy marriage. His hope for Lisa is that she continues to grow and develop at such an incredible pace. Stan congratulates Lisa and takes his seat.

Bethany goes to the podium and says she appreciates Lisa's positivity and laughter. She says her hope for Lisa is that she faces any obstacles in her life with that same positivity and joy.

Kim goes to the podium next and says her wish for Lisa is that she continues to grow and evolve and be adventurous in her life.

Jodi is next to the podium. She is emotional and says it is a hard day for her. She says as soon as she walked into the house Lisa embraced her and she felt an immediate connection. She says Lisa has been her rock, her soft place, and her laughter. She says Lisa has set an example for her and she wants to make Lisa proud of her.

In the confessional, Lisa says she really has made an impact on the women in the house. She says she has never let herself do that before. She says that they have developed a very tight-knit family and it will be difficult to leave them.

Christie goes to the podium and says she is going to miss Lisa very much. She says they have a lot in common in that they are both afraid of embarrassing themselves and were therefore afraid to take risks. She talks about how they tried new things together and they flashback to the time Lisa and Christie took a pole dancing lesson together. Christie says her hope for Lisa is that she do fun things and not be afraid. She tells her to be fearless and says she loves her.

Kelly is next up to the podium and she is also very emotional. She says the biggest impact Lisa had on her was when Lisa had to take swimming lessons and she didn't want to do it. She says she watched Lisa in the pool from the upstairs window and cried to see her do it. She says she will deeply miss Lisa and thanks her for teaching her not to run away. She says if it wasn't for Lisa, she may have run away and wouldn't be here to see Lisa graduate today.

Lisa's daughter, Stefanie, goes to the podium next. She says the SO house is an amazing place. She says she is very excited for her mom and that she deserves to always hear the truth. She says she will keep her promise of always telling her mom the truth. She tells Lisa that she loves her very much and is very excited for her. In the confessional, Stefanie says her mom was a lonely shell of a person before she came to the house. She says she now sees a huge positive change in her mom.

Iyanla and Lisa go up to the podium together and Iyanla asks Lisa if she is ready. Lisa says she is. Iyanla says to repeat after her the announcement of her revolution. She says wants Lisa makes the announcement she can never go back to the old Lisa.

Lisa repeats after Iyanla the following announcement (ED: paraphrased): I, Lisa, am stepping forward with courageousness and a clear vision. I will take risks, seeks support and be willing to share. I have started over!

Everybody claps and cheers for Lisa. Rhonda then goes up to the podium and tells Lisa that they are giving her and her husband ten sessions with a marriage counselor. They are also giving Lisa and Tony a three night stay at the Gold Lake Resort in Colorado. Iyanla then presents Lisa with her Starting Over Trophy, which reads, "Revolutionary Woman."

Lisa then makes her speech. She tells Iyanla she loves her very much and that she feels she has been given such a wonderful opportunity in being able to get to know her. She says Iyanla initially intimidated her and she wondered what she had "gotten herself into" by coming to the house. She says she thought everybody would feel sorry for her once they heard her story, but of course she was wrong about that! She says she realized that Iyanla wasn't going to sympathize with her, and that she made such an incredible impact on her life by not doing that. Lisa says Rhonda opened up her eyes and she helped her to see that she had to give it all she had. She says she fell in love with Stan the first time she met him. She says Stan also opened up her eyes and helped her to stop blaming everyone else in her life for her problems.

Lisa then moves on to her housemates. She says to Kim that she loves her very much and that they have shared a lot of laughter and tears together. She says Bethany's story tore her apart and made her realize that life is short and that she should live for the moment. She thanks Bethany for sharing her story with her. Lisa says she and Jodi shared a lot together and she loves her very much. She tells her she will definitely come back for her graduation. She says Christie is very beautiful and that Christie taught her about compassion. She says she and Kelly have a lot in common with their love of their families. She says Kelly's love for her husband made her realize she could also love Tony. Lisa tells Stefanie that she is ready to be her parent and that she was a child for too long. She says she will share with Stefanie all the tools she had gained in the house.

Iyanla then comes up to the podium and says she has a final surprise for Lisa. Lisa turns around to find Clarita, her flamenco dance instructor. Clarita gives her a gift bag, which has inside a flamenco dancing 101 kit. Then Lisa and Clarita dance together. In the confessional, Lisa says she was a lost soul before coming to the house. She says she is now full of joy and life. All the women get up and join Clarita and Lisa in a dance. Then they all hug each other.

Everybody else has now gone into the house and Lisa and Iyanla are out by the pool together. Iyanla gives Lisa a candle and tells her to light it and reflect on her hopes for herself. She leaves Lisa alone by the pool. Lisa floats her candle in the pool and says in the confessional that she wishes for herself that she never forgets the experiences she has had and the tools she has acquired in the house. She says she loves this place and a part of her will be left behind at the house.

The women are gathered outside the front door to say goodbye to Lisa. They all hug her and Jodi and Kelly are crying. Lisa and her daughter and grandson, Toby, leave in the limo together. In her last confessional, Lisa says she is ready to go home and be with her family.

After Lisa leaves, the women gather in the kitchen. Christie tells Kim that every time she sees her now, she thinks about Kim's beauty. She says Kim is "rocking hot." Kim is flattered and thanks her. In the confessional, Christie says she has seen big changes in Kim. She says Kim has been present and hasn't held any grudges.

Later in the evening, Bethany is in her room getting ready for bed. In the confessional, she says she misses home and feels vulnerable. She says, however, that if she can be vulnerable and weak, it will allow her to be strong again. In the confessional, Jodi says Bethany's loss is very fresh and raw. She worries about whether the SO house is the right place for Bethany at this time.

Preview: Bethany continues to struggle in the house. And she may not be able to find a reason to stay. Christie takes a shot at her dream of modeling.

Monday, April 10, 2006

Lisa Prepares To Graduate and Bethany Finds She Is Not Alone

The show starts with Lisa talking about how excited she is about graduating. Christie tells Lisa she will miss her because Lisa always made time for her and was always present when she talked to her. Lisa says she has never had friends like she has made in the house and that it will be very hard to leave. In the confessional, Kelly is crying and she says she doesn't want Lisa to leave because she doesn't know whether any of the other women like her.

Bethany calls her boyfriend, Jeff. Jeff tells her he is lost without her and hasn't slept in their bed since she left. He says he has been sleeping on the couch. She tells him she misses him and wants to see him. In the confessional, Bethany says she is emotionally drained and that being in the house is going to be a long road.

The women gather for group and Iyanla arrives. Jodi is crying and Iyanla asks her what is wrong. She says she is scared because Lisa is leaving and she is staying. In the confessional, Iyanla says Jodi was rattled after last night's board of review and her mask is cracking. Iyanla sits beside Jodi and hugs her. She tells Jodi that she has "hit the wall" and has reached the edge of all she knows. She says Jodi now has to trust. She tells Jodi that her mask is cracking.

Iyanla sits back down and calls Lisa up to sit next to her. Lisa says she can't believe she is graduating. She says the person she was before could not accomplish anything. Then Iyanla opens the plasma and reveals Lisa new self-portrait. She says she had all these fears which were really just thoughts that were building up in her head. Now she says she feels free of them and is relaxed. Iyanla then brings in Andy Paige for Lisa's graduation makeover. Andy says she wants Lisa's husband to see a whole new person when she gets back home. In the confessional, Lisa says she is different now and isn't her old self anymore. Andy says she has a vision of Lisa as completely different. She and Lisa leave group to start the makeover. Group is adjourned, but Iyanla asks Jodi to stay behind to talk with her.

Jodi tells Iyanla she is scared of the unknown. Iyanla says that the "C" Jodi received stands for commitment, change and choice. Jodi says the "C" doesn't bother her as much as coming to the realization that she was still holding onto her mask. She says holding onto it was not a conscious choice. Iyanla agrees that it wasn't, but says that Jodi can now choose to let it go. She also tells Jodi that when she needs help to ask for it. Then she has Jodi stand up and tells her to "surrender." She says she is going to hug her and tells Jodi not to hug her back, but to just surrender. Iyanla hugs Jodi and Jodi receives the hug and cries. Then Iyanla tells her to hug her back. In the confessional, Jodi says it is scary to feel weak and vulnerable.

Kim is in the kitchen talking to Kelly. She tells her that everybody in her life drinks. She says she wants her husband to go on the journey of not drinking anymore with her, and if he doesn't, she's going to have to decide what to do next.

In the confessional, Rhonda says Kim is deluded if she thinks she is going to deflect all her problems with alcohol onto her husband. Rhonda and Kim meet and Rhonda asks Kim if she thinks she has a problem with alcohol. Kim says she doesn't think so because she never used alcohol to stuff her feelings. In the confessional, Kim says she thinks she is an enabler to her husband's drinking problems and she needs help. She tells Rhonda she wants to remove all traces of alcohol from their house when she gets back. She says when she calls her husband she can tell by his speech pattern that he is drunk and with a couple of more drinks, would probably be passed out. She says she is scared for the safety of their son, Jax. In the confessional, Kim says it is critical that they get alcohol out of their lives. She says the next time Jeff gets drunk, she and Jax are "out of there."

Rhonda tells Kim that she needs to have a "sober to sober" conversation with Jeff. She says to tell him what she wants (no alcohol in her life), and then let him make the decision about what he wants to do because it is his choice whether or not to continue drinking. Then Rhonda tells Kim she has an exercise for her today. She is to imagine what her "perfect family" would be like. In the confessional, Rhonda says that little does Kim know, her perfect family is going to come to life later in the day.

Andy and Lisa go through Lisa's shoes. In the confessional, Lisa says she is open to anything for the makeover. She and Andy leave to go shopping.

Rhonda meets with Bethany outside at the picnic table. Rhonda asks Bethany how she is doing. Bethany says she is doubtful about being in the house. In the confessional, Rhonda says Bethany "hems and haws" about whether she should leave, but it is only Bethany who knows whether she is ready to be at the house. Rhonda tells Bethany that she is going to help her find out who she is. She says Bethany earned and will always own the title, mother, but she wants to help her discover other aspects of herself. Bethany says she went right from being a "youth" to being a mom. Rhonda writes down Bethany's first step, which is to Explore Bethany Through The Ages. In the confessional, Rhonda says Bethany is afraid to mourn, but that it is essential that she does so. Rhonda writes down Bethany's second step, which is Fully Engage In The Grieving Process. She tells Bethany that she is not being punished for what happen, and she didn't do anything wrong to deserve it. She says that in order to heal, Bethany will have to be authentic and truthful. In the confessional, Rhonda says if Bethany isn't willing to grieve, she will never be set free and she will never experience joy. She tells Bethany that her reason to live the rest of her life can't only be about honoring Shelby. She says she has to have another reason to live and that reason is Bethany. She tells Bethany that they aren't going to list anymore steps for today. Then she tells her that she is going to meet with another mother who lost her child later in the day.

Iyanla meets with Stephanie, Lisa's daughter. Iyanla says Lisa developed a "distorted" relationship with her daughter and Stephanie agrees. Stephanie says she was the mother and Lisa was the daughter. She says it will be difficult because their relationship will be different now and she will have to learn new boundaries.

Andy and Lisa go to 17061 Ventura to shop for an outfit for Lisa's graduation. Andy says Lisa is "adorably petite" and talks about hemlines, etc., for Lisa's body type. Lisa tries on various dresses and then chooses one.

Rhonda arrives at the house with four actors who are to play Kim's mom, aunt, her son Jax and her husband Jeff. In the confessional, Rhonda says they have all been briefed on their roles for today's exercise. She leaves Kim with her "family" to have the perfect day.

Iyanla and Stephanie continue their conversation. Iyanla tells Stephanie that she will be meeting a new person tonight. Stephanie says she is excited to see her "new" mom. Iyanla tells Stephanie to prepare a speech for tonight's graduation because they are going to ask her to speak.

Susan Whitmore arrives to meet with Bethany. Susan has also lost a child, and as soon as Bethany opens the door they hug each other. Bethany says she immediately felt a connection with Susan because they had experienced the same loss. They go outside to talk. Bethany tells Susan about the accident. Bethany says it feels impossible to go forward. Susan tells her that it feels impossible, but it isn't. Then Susan tells her that she lost her daughter to a rare sinus cancer that was misdiagnosed for several months. Susan says another parent who had lost a child told her that she would never get over the loss. Susan says that it was freeing to hear that because she could stop trying to get over the worst loss that a person could ever experience. Then she asks Bethany if there is anything she wants to know. Bethany asks her if it ever gets easier and if the sickness lessens over time. Susan says it does and tells her the biggest help is to have someone else to talk with who has also experienced the loss but is further long in the grief process. She says that will give Bethany hope and let her see she is not alone. In the confessional, Susan says she and Bethany have a lot in common because they both lost their only child. Susan tells Bethany it is a lifelong journey dealing with this loss. She says it does get better. Bethany asks her if she will ever be able to have pleasure without guilt, and Susan says she will, a little at a time.

Kim spends time with her “family." They go into the kitchen together and have juice and toast each other.

Andy and Lisa arrive at Juan Juan Salon. Andy says Lisa is going to have a "revolutionary makeover" to reflect all the changes she has made in her life.

Bethany and Susan go inside and Bethany shows Susan photos of Shelby. In the confessional, Bethany says it feels good to share her precious 6 years she had with her daughter, even if it is only through pictures.

Lisa gets her hair cut and colored as Andy watches. In the confessional, Lisa says she has always had the same hairstyle and same look. She says she is excited about the change and feels open and adventurous.

Kim is outside at the tennis court with her "family." The boy playing Jax is skateboarding and Kim and her are watching and joining in with "Jax." Then Rhonda arrives and tells them she now wants to meet with Kim and Kim's "family" says goodbye. Kim and Rhonda discuss Kim's day. Kim says it went great. Rhonda says Kim is learning to "let it be." She says Kim needs to see that everybody may not be exactly as she would like them to be. In the confessional, Rhonda says Kim's desire for perfection is stopping her from fully feeling love. Rhonda tells Kim that some people have just a little love to offer, and some have a lot. She says whatever they have, it should be "enough" for Kim. She says that in order for it to be enough, Kim has to have forgiveness. She tells Kim they are going to work on forgiveness person by person and tells Kim that when she has achieved forgiveness for her each person in her life, she will have freedom. In the confessional, Kim says she is learning that love comes in different ways and she has to accept it as it is.

Lisa is back home after her makeover today. In the confessional, she says she has a real sense of accomplishment and has never before seen something all the way through to the end.

Preview: Lisa's incredible transformation is revealed and everyone joins in for the celebration. And the women prepare for life without one of their friends.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

This Week On Starting Over

Here are previews for this week courtesy of my local affiliate:

Monday: Kim denies she has a drinking problem despite her housemates claims to the contrary; Lisa A. gets a makeover for her graduation; and Bethany makes her homesickness known, but Rhonda introduces her to a woman who understands her grief.

Tuesday: The housemates gush over Lisa A.'s appearance and share their favorite stories at her graduation ceremony, which is attended by her daughter. Also: Bethany reiterates her homesickness.

Wednesday: Christie feels uncomfortable modeling for a photo shoot; Bethany's desire to leave the house is the topic of the group's discussion with Dr. Katz; and the housemates comment on Jodi's mask.

Thursday: Rhonda holds a group discussion of addiction; Kim talks to a doctor about her family's problems with alcoholism; and Kelley complains to her husband about Jodi after getting into a fight with her over bacon.

Friday: The new roommate, Niambi, arrives and talks about her problems with intimate relationships; Bethany is delighted to have her sister, Sara, join her, and later gives dance lessons to the other housemates.

Friday, April 07, 2006

Board Of Review And Someone Is Going To Graduate

The show begins with the women gathering for the board of review. They all seem to be in a really good mood and are talking and laughing. Jodi thinks she has done the work and should get an "A" if she is called up. In the confessional, Kelly says Jodi is "running the show" and only does things on her terms. Iyanla and Rhonda arrive and the BoR begins.

Iyanla calls Jodi up for review. Jodi states her goal, which is Filling the Empty Cup. Iyanla asks Jodi how the cup "got empty." Jodi says she didn't have success in her personal life and that she was in denial about it. She also says she is a very intellectual person and she had a disconnect between her heart and her head. She says she has that connection now, but sometimes she still catches herself thinking and not feeling. Iyanla asks her what she needs to work on. Jodi says she needs to remove more layers of the mask. She starts crying and says she has been wearing the mask since she was 6 years old and it's hard and scary to feel vulnerable to "who I am underneath the mask." In the confessional, Christie says she feels very compassionate towards Jodi and can relate to what she is going through.

Jodi says she also holds herself back and doesn't commit completely so that she will have "wiggle room." Iyanla says that Jodi has chosen to keep the mask she had made (of the mold of her face). Iyanla says she asked Jodi what she wanted to do with that mask and although Jodi could have said she wanted to smash it, etc., she chose to keep it. Jodi is very emotional and says she is still choosing to hold onto her mask because she doesn't know who she is without it.

Rhonda asks Jodi what she is not doing that is holding her back. Jodi says she is holding onto what the mask represents. She then asks Jodi what grade she would give herself. Jodi says she would give herself a "B." Iyanla then asks the women to name one good change they have seen in Jodi. Kim says Jodi hasn't been as hard on herself regarding her weight issue. Christie says she saw a big change after Jodi accepted her dad. Then Iyanla asks the women about one thing they think Jodi needs to work on. Lisa says Jodi needs to "let it go." Kim says Jodi needs to see that "weak is beautiful."

Iyanla then asks Jodi why she is here. Jodi says she came to the house to learn about herself because she was lost. Iyanla asks her what would happen if she took off the mask. Jodi says she would be vulnerable and would ultimately have freedom. Iyanla asks her what she is not doing well. Jodi says she is not being as vulnerable as she needs to be. Iyanla says that as long as Jodi is wearing the mask she will lie, hide and avoid. She says she is looking for honesty from Jodi. She says from what she has seen, Jodi is at the house because she is overweight and doesn't like the way she looks and feels. She says Jodi feels empty, worthless and needs validation. She asks Jodi again why she is at the house. Jodi is crying and says she needs help. She says, "help me." She says she doesn't know how to do it alone.

Iyanla says now they are getting somewhere. She says Jodi has to get humble. She says Jodi has created a fiction about her own life and it is easier to live in that fiction and stay the way she is. She tells Jodi that part of her doesn't want to be helped. Jodi again says, "help me." Iyanla says she is going to help her and she gives her a "C." In the confessional, Kelly says Jodi is in shock over getting a "C" and is ready to run. Iyanla says she gave her that grade because anything else would have fed Jodi's ego. Iyanla then says, "you've just been helped." Jodi takes her seat.

Rhonda then calls Christie up for review. Christie states her goal, which is Learn To Love Myself. Rhonda asks her what she is doing well. Christie says a week ago she could have told her, but now she thinks she is still defining herself by how she looks on the outside. She says the visit to the plastic surgeon fed her addiction. She says she is scared to go home now.

Iyanla asks Christie what she is doing well. Christie says she is letting go of anger and is gaining compassion. Rhonda asks her what she needs to work on. Christie says she needs to work on her body image issues and needing validation from others. Iyanla asks her what she is not doing. Christie says she is afraid she won't have confidence when she goes back home. She fears she will end up in a relationship just because she doesn't want to be alone. Iyanla says Christie needs to make the decision now whether or not she will be tempted in that way. Christie says she will be tempted, but won't do it.

Rhonda then asks Christie what grade she would give herself. Christie says she would give herself an "A" because she is really trying hard and is being vulnerable. She says she is changing and is becoming a new person. Iyanla asks the women about one good change they've seen in Christie. Bethany says Christie can step back and look at herself, when she may not have been able to do that before. Kim says Christie is a lot different since her meeting with her mom and has compassion now. She says Christie has a “new spirit." Jodi says Christie has compassion for herself and is kind to herself now. Lisa says Christie has changed and is "nothing but love" now.

Rhonda says she is going to trigger Christie like she has never been triggered before so that when she goes home she won't be tempted to return to her old ways. Then she gives Christie an "A" and tells her to enjoy it while she can.

Rhonda says that they have an issue to discuss. She says Christie brought up the "indulgences" that went on the night before with the drinking. Jodi says it is the first time they did that. Iyanla says they should just put the issue on the table now. She asks why they want to bring alcohol into a place of healing and growth. Rhonda says if she had this opportunity, she would want to be awake throughout it. Lisa says she is ashamed of what they did the night before. Kim says she acknowledges that she made a mistake, but that the mistake reminds her of the changes she needs to make at home with her husband.

Kelly says Kim really likes to drink. She says she has observed Kim drinking on an everyday basis and has also observed her hiding her drinking by putting alcohol in plastic cups. Kim says she was trying to be respectful towards Christie and that she wasn't hiding it. She says she likes the taste of alcohol. Lisa says she has observed Kim having wine before dinner and also having a beer when they go out to eat. Jodi says she has also seen Kim putting the alcohol in plastic cups instead of clear ones in order to hide it. Rhonda asks Kim if she thinks she has a problem with alcohol. Kim says she enjoys drinking, but doesn't think she has a problem. Christie says that Kim can't help her husband with his drinking if she is drinking.

Iyanla asks them about the commitment they all made to Christie. Jodi says they committed to supporting her in not drinking. Rhonda says that it wasn't supportive of Christie for Kim to go in her room "drunk as a skunk" and wake her up. Iyanla asks if anyone confronted Kim about her drinking and they all say they didn't. Iyanla then tells them that they are to remove all alcohol from the house by midnight tonight.

Iyanla then calls Lisa up for a review. Lisa states her goal, which is Rebuilding the Ruins of My Life. Rhonda asks Lisa what she is doing well. Lisa says she is accepting herself, has stopped fighting against herself and has taken risks. Iyanla asks about the risks Lisa has taken. Lisa says telling her story was a big risk. She says she never told anyone her story; she says she hid it from even her family. She says when she came to the house she wanted them to feel sorry for her. She says she wanted them to pat her on the back. She says instead she discovered she was a liar and she had been pretending all her life. She is happy that she discovered that about herself so she no longer had to live a lie.

Iyanla then asks Lisa to repeat after her and says "I ruined my sense of self." Lisa repeats her and Iyanla continues with "I ruined my sense of worth and value." This continues on and Lisa keeps repeating after Iyanla. Iyanla has her repeat, "I have created a clear vision of myself," and I am ready willing able to stand up for myself," and finally "I am ready willing and able to graduate." Lisa is shocked and starts crying when she hears she is graduating. All the women cheer for her. Iyanla tells Lisa it is time for her to take the blueprint she has created in the house and use it to rebuild her life at home. Lisa tells Iyanla she loves her because she made her see. The BoR is over and Iyanla and Lisa hug each other.

In the confessional, Lisa says it is going to be very hard to say goodbye to everyone, but especially Iyanla. She says she is very grateful to her. The women all hug Lisa. Lisa is crying. She says she doesn't want to leave them, but she knows she is ready. In the confessional, Christie says she is happy about her "A", but she knows Jodi is upset over getting a "C" and she also finds it unbearable that Lisa is leaving.

Lisa tells Jodi to let go of her mask. She says to just "throw it away." In the confessional, Lisa says she hopes Jodi will be more open to Iyanla's help. She says she thinks Jodi is embarrassed about getting the "C."

The women gather up all the alcohol and dump it out. In the confessional, Kim says she is taking ownership for what she did last night, but she is not going to beat herself up about it. She says she has no problem with throwing out the alcohol. In the confessional, Christie says she is glad the alcohol is gone.

Lisa calls her daughter, Stephanie, and tells her she is graduating. She tells her it will be hard to leave everybody in the house because she has gotten so used to them, but she is excited to use the tools she has acquired at home. In the confessional, Lisa says her children are going to be proud of her when they see all her new skills. She thinks they are really going to appreciate all the work she did.

Kelly is talking to Jodi in the kitchen. Kelly says that the BoR was the first time Jodi got her "cage rattled" and now she wants to leave. She says it was the first time all her housemates her involved in her process. In the confessional, Kelly says Jodi can dish it out but she can't take it. In the confessional, Jodi says she feels attacked. Jodi tells Kelly that she just never thought it would be this hard. Jodi walks out and Kelly says Jodi just got her ego hurt.

Kim talks to Christie about the drinking of the night before. She says that they were celebrating and weren't numbing out. She says her husband is not like that, however. She says she can just have a glass of wine and be done for the evening, but her husband keeps drinking. Then she says she might have a problem, but she doesn't think she does.

Later Kim helps Lisa with the shield she is making. Christie is there talking with them. In the confessional, Christie says all the women are trying to spend the last moments with Lisa before she leaves, with the exception of Jodi.

Jodi is sitting outside alone smoking a cigarette. In the confessional, she says she thougth she had surrendered to the process and never thought the BoR would go that way.

Meanwhile, Lisa tells Christie that she has been babying Jodi. She says Jodi only wants to hear positive feedback, and that's all Christie gives her. In the confessional, Christie says she doesn't feel like she's been babying Jodi, but she hopes she is doing right by her because she cares a great deal about her.

Later Jodi is lying in bed and Christie goes to talk with her. In the confessional, Christie says Jodi's mask is cracking and that it's "awesome." Jodi tells Christie she didn't think she was holding onto the mask. In the confessional, Jodi says she feels exposed and is hanging on only by a thread. She doesn't know if she has it in her to do what needs to be done in the house. Christie gets in bed with Jodi and comforts her. She tells Jodi to just let the mask go and asks her what she has to lose. Jodi says she could lose herself.

Preview for next week: Jodi can't let go. Bethany still isn't sure she will stay in the house. Kim confronts a serious problem. Christie takes a shot at her dream.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Broken Commitments

The show starts with the women (except Kim and Christie) in the kitchen laughing about last night and Kim's drunken antics. In the confessional, Jodi says they were all doing a lot of "hooting and hollering" and had a good time. In the confessional, Lisa says they did have fun, but she now thinks Kim was out of control. In the confessional, Kim says they enjoyed themselves last night, but she is feeling a little tired today.

Christie received a letter from Rhonda telling her she is to meet with a plastic surgeon today. In the confessional, she says the women stayed up late and partied, and she feels they broke their commitment to her.

Kim goes into the kitchen and they all continue laughing about last night. Kim says she doesn't remember a lot of things that happened. In the confessional, Lisa says she didn't realize Kim had been blacking out. In the confessional, Kim says she partied the hardest and that the women kept giving her more drinks because they enjoyed her making them laugh.

Christie arrives at the plastic surgeon's office. She says she is interested to see what the surgeon can do about the scar on her left arm.

Jodi is working on an ongoing assignment Iyanla has given her. She is supposed to write a love letter to herself every day. She says she is supposed to have today's love letter finished by 3PM because Iyanla wants to go over it with her.

Christie meets with the plastic surgeon. She takes off her clothes and is in her bra/panties. In the confessional, she says she normally would wear a sports bra and shorts, but she wants the surgeon to see exactly how she looks. The surgeon tells Christie that they are several options for fixing the scar on her arm. She talks about scar modification and about tissue expanders to grow new skin that would cover the scar. In the confessional, Christie says she is encouraged that they are options for fixing the scar, but she is also confused because she has been starting to accept her body the way it is. She has mixed emotions now.

Iyanla arrives and tells Lisa to go get her miniature landscape that she made in an earlier exercise. They go outside to look it over. Iyanla asks Lisa how this landscape has changed. Lisa says her depression is gone, she is no longer withholding her feelings and she is not revengeful anymore. Lisa says she respects her feelings now and has let herself see the hidden things that were "dwelling within." Iyanla says Lisa has grown and now needs a new landscape in order to "anchor" the new energy. She tells Lisa to spend some time making a new landscape and label her new commitments to herself. She says she will be back later to check on her.

Christie has returned from the plastic surgeon and the women all gather for group. Rhonda arrives and says today's topic is self-acceptance. She asks the women about their levels of self-acceptance. Christie says she got in her bra and panties today at the plastic surgeon's office. She says she would have never done that before today. Then Christie brings up the drinking episode from last night. She says the women were getting drunk and being loud. In the confessional, she says she is "pissed off" because she feels the women were being too loud and not honoring her. Rhonda asks if Christie was okay with the other women getting drunk. Christie says she is okay with it as long as they are respectful of her. In the confessional, Kim says she sees last night as celebratory. She says they weren't getting drunk in order to "numb out."

Jodi then says she is at the beginning stages of accepting her body. She says she has seen some changes in her body since she has been working out. Bethany says that before she lost Shelby, most of her focus was on the external and on how she looked. Now she says that is unimportant to her. Rhonda asks her what she is not accepting about herself. Bethany says she hasn't been accepting of how "stagnant" she has become. She says other people have told her to get up and get active, and she felt like telling them to "kiss my ass" because they don't know what she is going through.

Kelly says she is now coming to an acceptance about the mother she has been to her sons. She says she wasn't perfect, but it was enough. She starts crying and says she doesn't accept that she can't go back in time to when her son was 6 years old. She says she wishes she could have come to the SO house back then and learned about how quickly her kids would grow up. She says she is now the mom of two men. In the confessional, Rhonda says she is very proud of Kelly's progress. She says she has something planned to test her growth. Then Rhonda announces that there will be a board of review tonight. The women look anxious. Group is adjourned.

The women are in the kitchen talking about the upcoming BoR. Kelly says she is freaking out. In the confessional, Jodi says she is prepared for the BoR because she has done her work.

Lisa works on creating her new landscape. In the confessional, she says she can now speak out and can give/receive love. She says it feels good to create this new landscape.

Christie and Jodi are sitting on the couch, and Jodi is holding Christie. Christie seems upset. Jodi says it was good that Christie found out about her options regarding plastic surgery, but that doesn't mean she has to get it. Then Jodi tells Christie she is sorry for last night. Jodi says Kim scared her because she doesn't think Kim knows when to stop. Christie says the situation brought her to a place "she didn't like."

Iyanla arrives and in the confessional she says she finds it interesting that Jodi is helping Christie when she should be working on her own assignment. Jodi and Iyanla go outside to talk. Iyanla asks Jodi when the letter to herself was supposed to be completed. Jodi says it was supposed to be done by 3PM (ED: it is 3:20PM now). Iyanla asks her why it isn't done, and Jodi says she got "confused." Iyanla says she didn't get confused; she just broke her commitment. Jodi concedes that she did break the commitment. She says she didn't realize she had a problem in this area, but now she realizes she does. Iyanla asks her on a scale of 1-5 how well she honors her commitments--5 being the best. Jodi says she is a 5 when it comes to work, a 2 or 3 when it comes to honoring her commitments to others outside of work, and a 1 when it comes to honoring commitments to herself. Iyanla tells her that broken commitments lessens your self-worth. She then tells Jodi to follow her for an exercise.

Lisa and Kelly discuss who will be going up for the BoR. Kelly thinks Lisa might be graduating, but Lisa disagrees. Kelly thinks she hasn't been there long enough for it to be her.

Iyanla and Jodi are at the tennis court and Iyanla has set up a toy basketball hoop. She tells Jodi to stand at a certain distance and gives her 5 minutes to make 50 baskets. Jodi tries to make the baskets, but misses a lot of them from the distance at which she is standing. After the 5 minutes is up, Iyanla asks Jodi if she knew before she started that she couldn't make the 50 baskets from that distance. Jodi says she did know. Iyanla tells her she went forward without clarifying or renegotiating a commitment she knew she couldn't complete. Jodi says she can't do anything when she makes "half-assed" commitments. Iyanla says Jodi is afraid of commitments that she can't control. She says that is why Jodi hasn't gotten married, had a kid, etc. She says Jodi has "hundreds and hundreds" of broken commitments in her past.

Christie talks to Kelly about Kim. She says she is not ready to go to the BoR this week and that she is just "not feeling it" because of Kim and Kim's issues with her husband.

Iyanla and Jodi sit outside and Iyanla brings out a scroll. She says Jodi has to clear up her broken commitments and broken dreams. She wants Jodi to write down on the scroll all her broken commitments/dreams. She says Jodi has to identify and accept all the broken commitments she has in her past. In the confessional, Jodi says she realizes now all the dreams on which she hasn't followed though. She says she has broken her word to herself. Jodi starts crying and tells Iyanla she is scared to take off the mask she has been wearing all her life. She says she is afraid because she doesn't know what's underneath that mask. Iyanla says she doesn't know what's underneath it either, but Jodi should trust that it will be enough to sustain her, no matter what it is.

Christie and Rhonda meet outside. In the confessional, Rhonda says she is scared for Christie because she thinks she is still in a vicious cycle of plastic surgery. Rhonda tells Christie that getting plastic surgery on her arm serves no mechanical purpose; it would be purely cosmetic. Christie agrees and says she is willing to put thoughts of plastic surgery aside. Rhonda says Christie originally came to the SO house because she thought they would help her (pay for her) to get surgery to fix the scar on her arm and that Christie was disappointed when they wouldn't help her in that way. Christie says she was disappointed at first, but now she is grateful.

Iyanla and Lisa meet to go over Lisa's new landscape. Iyanla says this landscape represents a "revolution" for Lisa. She asks Lisa about her allies in this "battle" or revolution. Lisa says her family and friends are her allies. Iyanla says Lisa's housemates are also her allies in this battle. She tells Lisa that when you go into battle, you need a shield. She says in this case, Lisa needs a shield to remind her of what is important and real. Iyanla says Lisa is to take a housemate with her to a craft store and pick out material she needs to create such a shield. Lisa says she knows exactly who she will take with her.

Jodi tells Bethany that she is not very nervous about the BoR. She says she is confident in what she has been doing in the house. She says she just has to explain and justify her hard work and remember to be calm if she gets called up.

Iyanla sees Christie sitting in the living room and she asks her how she is doing. Christie says she is doing okay. Iyanla says Christie is lying and asks her why she lies. Christie says she is confused. Iyanla says confusion is just a way to convince yourself you can do something you can't do. Christie then says the women got drunk last night and didn't honor their commitment to her. She says she is "pissed off" that Kim got sloppy drunk and woke her up. Iyanla says maybe Christie is disappointed instead of "pissed off." Christie says she is disappointed because they had a commitment and all the women signed her commitment poster. Iyanla asks Christie how the women broke their commitment. Christie says Kim woke her up. Iyanla asks if Kim committed to never drinking, and Christie says she didn't. Iyanla asks how Kim broke her commitment and Christie says she doesn't know and that maybe the women didn't break their commitment to her. Iyanla says perhaps Christie was given a divine opportunity to be centered within herself while all that was going on around her. She asks Christie why she can't just be grateful for that. Christie says she is working on it.

Lisa brings Kelly to the art store, Blick Art Supply. The clerk helps Lisa pick out things she needs to make her shield.

Bethany, Christie and Jodi are sitting outside talking. Jodi tells them about the scroll she is working on. She starts crying and gets really choked up as she reads them what she has written on it (about her broken commitments to herself). In the confessional, Jodi says she hasn't followed through wth her commitments and with this new information, she is now afraid of going to the BoR. She talks to Christie and Bethany about the mask she has been wearing since she was 6 years old. She says she is afraid to take it off because of what she might find underneath.

Preview: Don't miss the most intense board of review this season. The entire house must answer the question everybody has been thinking (it's about Kim's drinking). And not everyone will make it through.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Sink or Swim

This evening is the Wednesday 8PM ET chat! If you would like to participate, click on the live chat link (it's right under the FAQ link) in the forum, or click here. As always, you can use any username you like to enter the chat room. Everybody has a good time at these chats and all are welcome.

The show begins with Kelly telling Bethany that Kim is picky about her clothes and doesn't want anyone to put them in the dryer for her. In the confessional, Kelly says she thinks Bethany is courageous, but feels she is not sharing her feelings because she can't. She believes Bethany is putting on a happy face. In the confessional, Bethany says she feels a little uncomfortable in the house and keeps questioning herself as to why she is there. She also says she feels a hint of excitement, however, at being there, and that gives her the determination to stick it out.

Lisa finds a note from Iyanla on the front door. The note says Lisa is going to have swimming lessons today. In the confessional, Iyanla says Lisa is afraid of life, and even though she jumped "into the river of life" she has not yet learned to swim in it. In the confessional, Lisa says she hasn't worn a swimsuit in 15 years and she doesn't feel good about doing it today.

Iyanla arrives and the women gather for group. Today's topic is aging. Iyanla asks the women how they feel about aging. Bethany says she embraces it because she gets more wisdom as she grows older. Kelly says she has seen it as a loss of time. She feels like she has lost something she can never get back. Lisa says she feels like she has wasted a lot of time in the past, but now she doesn't look at her age anymore.

Iyanla then talks about women at different ages. She says women in their 20's are dealing with finding out who they are and are interested in freedom with no limits. In their 30's Iyanla says women are most concerned with security and what they want in life. She says the 40's are the age of purpose and that women are seeking acceptance of themselves. Women in their 50's are the "wise women." They are concerned with what they have to offer the world and forgiveness is a priority. She says women who don't achieve forgiveness by their 50's can become bitter old women.

Iyanla then asks the women if they have a wise older woman in the lives. Bethany says she has her grandmother, who is very wise and gives her good guidance without judgment. Kelly says she doesn't have a wise older woman in her life. Iyanla tells her she should get one. She says men learn from institutions and organizations and women learn from each other, so it's important for every woman to have an older woman in her life. She then tells the women she is giving them an assignment. They are to project what they will look like and be like when they are 70 and write a monologue about who they are at that age. They are also going to go shopping and buy clothes that they would want to wear when they are 70. She says they will all meet later to give their monologues. Group is adjourned.

Rhonda and Bethany meet. In the confessional, Rhonda says she is concerned that Bethany is not ready to be in the house. She says it might be too early in Bethany's grieving process, but she is going to trust that Bethany knows she is ready. Bethany tells Rhonda the first day has been tough for her. She says she has had the realization that she must do this for herself and that makes her feel selfish because her focus was always on Shelby before. Rhonda suggests that maybe Bethany is trying to move on too quickly. Bethany asks Rhonda if she thinks she is in the right place, but Rhonda tells her only Bethany can answer that question.

Lisa and Kelly go to Canyon Beachwear to shop for a swimsuit for Lisa. Lisa tries on swimsuits and finally chooses one she likes. She says she is worried about people looking at her and making judgments about how she looks in it.

Rhonda and Bethany continue their discussion. Rhonda asks Bethany when she feels guilty. Bethany says she feels guilt when she starts enjoying herself, or when she hasn't thought about Shelby. Rhonda asks Bethany what she needs from her and Bethany says she needs support. She says she needs to be guided because she doesn't know what she is doing and is in survival mode. Rhonda hugs her.

Rhonda and Kelly meet. Rhonda says Kelly is missing wise women in her life and she is going to send her to meet with two older women today. She wants Kelly to open with them so they can give her advice. She also wants Kelly to prepare questions she would like to ask them.

The swimming instructor, Robert George, arrives for Lisa's swimming lesson. They go to the pool and get in. Lisa is super uncomfortable and can't relax as Robert tries to teach her how to float. In the confessional, Lisa says she is panicking and tensing up. She says she doesn't know why she is fighting the lesson because she really needs it more than anything.

The women all go to shop for their assignment later this evening to dress up like they are in their 70's. They all seem to have a good time at the thrift store, The Salvation Army. They return to the house with their outfits and all seem to be in a good mood.

Iyanla meets with Lisa to discuss her fears. Iyanla asks Lisa what her fears were today during the swimming lesson and she writes them down as Lisa names them. She was afraid because she couldn't feel the ground beneath her when she was trying to float. She was afraid she wasn't in control and that she wasn't "good enough" to move forward.She was also afraid of feeling exposed in the swimsuit she had to wear. Iyanla writes down all her fears, which total 32. In the confessional, Lisa says she can't believe how fearful she really is. She says her head is full of fears. Iyanla tells Lisa she is afraid because she has yet to accept herself. She tells Lisa to meet her out by the pool.

Bethany is on the phone with her sister, Sara. She tells her sister that she has a headache from crying and purging her feelings. Sara says that's good and reminds Bethany to be open and honest. Bethany says she is open and honest, and Sara says that Bethany tends to pretend that things are okay when they are not.

Kelly goes to a coffee shop and meets with Kay who is 72 and Ruth who is 86. She asks them what they think is the best thing they gave their children. Ruth says it is education and love and understanding. Kay says she gave her children each other (their siblings). She asks them if they married the loves of their lives. Ruth says she did, but Kay says she settled.

Jodi tells Rhonda that she doesn't know how to deal with Bethany saying she wants to leave. She says all the women go through that initially, but it is different with Bethany and she doesn't know what to tell her. Rhonda tells her she has talked to Bethany about it, and that her concerns are valid. In the confessional, Rhonda says she is not sure whether Bethany is ready to be in the house.

Kelly continues her talk with Ruth and Kay. She asks them what they think really matters. Ruth says what matters is that she is happy, well and that her children adore her as much as she adores them. Kay says it's important for her to wake up everyday and have the ability to make the most of that day. Kelly thanks them and they ask if she has learned anything. She talks about not being there enough for her kids, etc. Kay tells Kelly not to beat herself up. She tells her to be happy with who she is.

Iyanla and Lisa are out by the pool. Lisa gets in; Iyanla wants her to show her what she learned today. Lisa tries to swim, but stops short of reaching the other side of the pool. Iyanla then throws beach balls into the pool. Each ball represents Lisa's fears. She throws more and more in and Lisa tries to push them out of her way. In the confessional, Iyanla says fear isn't pretty or merciful. She says it will paralyze you and keep you from living. In the confessional, Lisa says she kept trying to push all the balls out of her way and exhausted herself in the process.

Kelly calls her mom, Phyllis to ask her the same questions she asked Ruth and Kay. Phyllis says the best things she did for her kids was to be there for them. She says she did marry the love of her life (twice!), and she would do it again. She says she regrets having the nervous breakdown. Kelly tells her mom that she felt betrayed by her mom going into the mental hospital. She says because she was so young, she didn't understand and thought her mom should just "snap out of it." Her mom says she can understand that. Kelly says she thought her mom was weak at the time, but now she realizes that her mom was strong for checking herself into the hospital. Phyllis says she had to do it to save her life.

Iyanla and Lisa are still out at the pool. Iyanla tells Lisa that those balls in the pool are just thoughts and she shouldn't let them stop her. In the confessional, Iyanla says Lisa has allowed her fear to dictate and control her life. She says Lisa has wasted a lot of energy fighting those fears. Then Iyanla throws a float into the water and Lisa puts it around her and effortlessly floats in the pool. She says she could stay like that forever. Iyanla says that that is the other side of fear (contentment).

The women get ready for their assignment to dress up like they are in their 70's. They are all laughing and having a good time. Iyanla arrives and they all gather in the living room to read their monologues. Each woman is dressed in clothes they would like to wear when they are older, and each gets up and does a monologue about being 70. Afterwards, Iyanla tells them they did a great job.

Afterwards, the women take off their outfits and sit in the dining room together, drinking. Christie does not want to be involved in the drinking and has gone to bed. Kim is quite "tipsy" and crawls under the dining room table. She is laughing and the other women also seem to be enjoying themselves. Then Kim suggests they all go outside. In the confessional, Christie says she is "pissed." She says she feels they are not honoring her commitment to her and she doesn't think they should be drinking. The women are outside and Kim is making jokes, etc. They are all laughing. In the confessional, Christie says she doesn't want to be a part of it at all. She says Kim came back in the house and had the hiccups and was bumping into things, which woke her up. She says Kim is being "drunk girl." Kim is in the bedroom with Lisa, and falls off the bed. She laughs as she is lying on the floor and Lisa is laughing with her.

Preview: Christie feels completely betrayed. And the women are in for a big surprise (it's a Board of Review). Jodi is terrified of taking her next step.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Bethany's Story

The show starts with Jodi reading a note that tells the women to clean the house for the new housemate who will be arriving in an hour. The women all straighten up as the limo makes its way towards the house. Christie and Kelly think the new woman will be a former graduate, and all the women are speculating about who it will be.

While in the limo, the newest housemate, Bethany, says coming to the house is intimidating and she is worried that the women will feel on edge around her after hearing her story.

Rhonda arrives and meets with Christie about body image. Rhonda says today is a day for Christie to focus on herself. She wants Christie to explore the question of having more plastic surgery. Rhonda says that Christie has been thinking of having more work done and she wants her to meet with two women today who have also had plastic surgery. Christie says she is not as enthusiastic about getting more plastic surgery as she was a month ago. In the confessional, Rhonda says Christie doesn't work on getting fitter or losing weight because she believes in the "magic pill" of plastic surgery to make everything all better. Rhonda tells Christie to write down questions that she wants to ask the two women she will be meeting with today. In the confessional, Christie says she is thinking she will not have any more plastic surgery, but she does sometimes consider getting work done on her arms.

Bethany's limo has pulled up to the house and she says she is anxious to begin her journey of healing and self-discovery. Bethany goes to the front door and all the women greet her. In the confessional, Jodi says Bethany is very dainty and soft-spoken and she has a warm vibe. In the confessional, Bethany says it is comforting to be around the women in the house. She says she is okay with her story, and she hopes they will not feel uncomfortable about it.

Rhonda and Iyanla arrive and the women gather for group. Rhonda greets Bethany and then puts a photo on the plasma of Bethany and her older sister, Sarah, when they were little girls. Bethany says Sarah is her best friend and they have always been very close. Next they show a photo of Bethany graduating from high school. Bethany says after high school she went to a community college and got her degree in elementary education. She then started teaching 2nd grade. The next photo they show is of Bethany when she was 9 months pregnant. She is sitting next to her (now ex) boyfriend, Bryce and was 20 years old at the time. She says the pregnancy was unplanned. After she gave birth, Bryce had an emotional breakdown. They tried to work things out and lived together for a while after the baby was born, but Bryce didn't want to work, etc, and they broke up when the baby was 8 months old. She says Bryce eventually gave up all rights to their daughter.

After Bethany and Bryce broke up, Bethany moved in with her parents for a little while. Next they show a photo of Bethany and her daughter, Shelby, when Shelby was about 13 months old. Then they show two more photos--one of Shelby with Bethany's dad and one with Shelby and Bethany's mom. Bethany says her mom raised her to be strong and to have good morals. She says her mom is everything she wants to be.

Next they show a photo of Bethany and her current boyfriend, Jeff. Then they show a photo of Bethany and Shelby, who is 6 years old. Bethany is crying and she says this photo is the last photo of Shelby. It was taken on June 11th and Shelby died on June 12th; it was only a few months ago. She says her friend, her mom and Shelby were driving home from vacation when an elderly man ran into their car. She says the car did a 180 and flipped over. Bethany's mom and Shelby had been asleep in the backseat, and they were ejected from the car upon impact. Bethany says she started screaming for her daughter and ran over and held her until the paramedics arrived. Shelby did not die instantly and they rushed her to the hospital. At the hospital, Bethany says she knew it was bad because the hospital staff were comforting her and took her into a private room. She called her sister and was on the phone with her when the doctor came in and told her Shelby didn't make it. Bethany says she collapsed and her sister talked to the doctor on the phone.

Rhonda asks about the injuries to the other people in the car. Bethany says she broke her C-7 (a verterbate), her friend broke both femur bones and her mom was seriously injured with concussion and broken ribs. Her mom was in the intensive care for three weeks. All the women are crying as they listen to Bethany's heart-wrenching story.

Bethany says Shelby was her world and she doesn't know what to do without her. She says her drive and determination is all gone now along with Shelby. Rhonda asks her if she is ready to move forward since the tragedy is so fresh. Bethany says she doesn't know. Rhonda asks her if she continued teaching after the accident. Bethany says she went back for three days, but it was too much and she took a leave of absence. Rhonda asks Bethany if she believes she is ready to be in the Starting Over house. Bethany says she thinks she is. In the confessional, Rhonda says it is difficult to imagine what Bethany has been through. She says learning to be around grief will be an important tool for the other women of the house.

Then they reveal Bethany's self-portrait. Bethany says she is wearing pink in the portrait because that's what Bethany was wearing. In the portrait, Bethany has drawn her heart as broken and bleeding. She also has drawn herself with tears streaming down her face. She says she isn't grounded and her heart is broken. She says nothing matters anymore. Rhonda says something does matter because Bethany has gotten herself to the house. She says that something is Bethany. Kim is crying and says that the self-portrait is an open wound. She says there is so much pain in it. She tells Bethany she is glad she is here. Christie says what she is going through is nothing compared to what Bethany is experiencing.

Rhonda tells Bethany she will be her primary coach, Dr. Stan will be there to help and Iyanla will also be there for her anytime she needs her. Then Rhonda reveals Bethany's goal: Rediscover Joy. Rhonda asks Bethany whether she is willing to try and Bethany says she is. She says that she always told Shelby to live life to the fullest and that she was always full of joy. In the confessional, Jodi says Bethany's story really puts things into perspective. She says all these things she has been concerned with are petty and not really worth agonizing over. The women all hug Bethany and group is adjourned.

Christie goes to a coffee shop to meet with the two women who have also had plastic surgery. The two women are Tamara and Cynthia. Tamara says she has had four nose jobs. The first one didn't turn out right and she had to have revisions. Cynthia has has a breast lift and a tummy tuck. She is also considering more surgery. In the confessional, Christie says she had a whole list of procedure she was thinking of getting done and she thought those things would make her happy. She is now beginning to see that isn't true. Cynthia shows photos of herself before/after the surgery. She says she used to weight 270lbs. Tamara shows before/after of her nose jobs. Cynthia says she sees a different person in the mirror than the image she has of herself in her head. Christie also tells the women about her surgeries and the weight loss. She shows them her left arm and says the doctor messed up and took too much skin off that arm.

Bethany and Rhonda meet outside. In the confessional, Rhonda says it will be a real struggle for Bethany to get to her goal of rediscovering joy after what she has experienced with the loss of her daughter. Rhonda asks Bethany where she is in her grieving process. Bethany says every day is different. She says her family talks about Shelby every day. She says they laugh, cry and cuss. She says she has also thrown blame around. Rhonda asks who she has blamed. Bethany says she has thrown blame onto her mom. Rhonda asks if it's because Shelby wasn't wearing a seatbelt (because she was sleeping in the backseat with Bethany's mom). Bethany says that is some if it, but she mostly blamed her mom because the reason they were traveling that day was to pick up her mom. She says she mainly blames the elderly man who ran into them. Rhonda asks if any charges were filed regarding the accident, and Bethany says no. She says rationally she knows it was just an accident, but emotionally it "sucks" that the man wasn't charged.

In the confessional, Rhonda says Bethany is anxious to do her steps to achieve her goal because she thinks the steps will heal her. She tells Bethany that she has decided to wait a couple of days before developing Bethany's steps. She says she wants Bethany to find a safe place at the house where she can go when she feels sad, frustrated, etc. They walk the grounds of the house and Bethany chooses the picnic table as her safe place. In the confessional, Bethany says being at the house will help her to step outside of the box and give her a new perspective. She says she thinks the women will support her and challenge her at the same time.

Christie returns from her meeting with the two women. She tells Jodi and Lisa that she doesn't think she wants anymore surgery, although she is still considering a second opinion regarding her arms.

The doorbell rings and it is Rhonda with food for the women to cook for dinner. She tells them she wants them to have a welcome dinner for Bethany this evening. She tells them to make sure Bethany feels at home.

Bethany is on the phone with her boyfriend, Jeff. Jeff says he has been thinking about Bethany all day and asks her how everything is going. Bethany says everybody is great and very kind. She says Rhonda is very compassionate and wise. In the confessional, Bethany says she wants to live life again. She wants to be happy and successful.

Christie and Rhonda meet to discuss Christie's meeting with Tamara and Cynthia. Christie says both women were beautiful and kind. She says, however, that she could see their obsession with plastic surgery. She tells Rhonda she didn't think either one of them needed more surgery, but that both of them were considering it. She says it helped her realize she doesn't want more surgery and that the body is just a shell. She says the women were beautiful on the inside and it was so wonderful for them to come and share their stories with her. She says that was what was important. She says she felt like she was giving them advice and telling them why they shouldn't get more surgery. Rhonda says when we offer wisdom to others it also anchors our own knowledge. Christie says she knows that her obsession with her body image will just grow if she doesn't stop. She says eventually she will end up getting facial surgery, etc., and it won't stop because it is an addiction. She says she wants to grow old gracefully instead and be okay with that.

The women make dinner and Bethany joins in. In the confessional, Kim says she really wants to welcome Bethany and connect with her, but she also recognizes that Bethany needs some space right now. The women sit at the dinner table and eat. In the confessional, Christie says this dinner was the most beautiful they've had in the house. She says she feels sad for Bethany and wants her to feel welcome and supported.

After dinner, Bethany shows Jodi and Kelly a memorial book she made for her daughter. Kelly comments on how gorgeous Shelby was. In the confessional, Bethany says she hopes to discover a good thing from this loss. She says it will be a critical aspect of rediscovering joy.

Preview: Bethany has second thoughts about staying in the house. Lisa is pushed to the next level. And Kim's drinking raises a red flag.

Monday, April 03, 2006

Lisa N. Graduates

The show begins with the women getting ready for their day. Jodi says she is feeling sick and has a cough. Kelly suggests medicine she should take. The women know a woman will be arriving today and they think it will be Lisa N.

The limo makes its way towards the house and Lisa N. is inside. She says she is calm and excited at the same time to be coming back to the SO house. She arrives and the women all cheerfully hug and greet her.

Rhonda arrives to talk with Lisa N. She tells Lisa that it is day 30 since Lisa left the house. She says Lisa looks good and has to be ready for anything today. She then gives Lisa a piece of paper and tells her to draw a new self-portrait. Lisa goes to complete this final assignment.

Jodi is in the van with Christie and they drive to Griffith Park. They meet with a woman from Curves to do a little exercise in the fresh air. Jodi says she feels sick, but thinks exercising will make her feel better. The three women walk around the park and do lunges, etc. Then Jodi and Christie leave to go back to the house.

The women gather for group with Rhonda. They say they are all excited that Lisa is back in the house. Rhonda says Lisa was a part of the first group of women in the house this year and she had many ups and downs during her time in the house. Rhonda says she finally decided that the best way to decide whether Lisa was ready to graduate was to send her home and see if she would implement the skills she had learned in the house. Rhonda says Lisa had three "backbone" pieces she needed to earn before she could graduate: trust, wisdom and independence. Lisa says she went home and got a job, painted her bedroom and hosted a dinner party. She says she trusts herself now and feels she is at a new beginning in her life.

Rhonda then asks Lisa if she is lying about anything. Lisa looks confused. Rhonda asks her again if there is anything she is not telling her. Lisa says there isn't and she is telling the absolute truth. Rhonda asks Lisa what would happen if she didn't graduate. Lisa says it would hurt her feelings, but she now knows who she is and she would move on. Rhonda then tells Lisa she is graduating. Lisa says it is the best day of her life and all the women clap and cheer for her. Then Rhonda opens the plasma and shows that Lisa has completed all her steps. Next they show Lisa's original self-portrait and then the portrait of herself she drew today. Lisa says she feels grounded now. Rhonda says tonight will be Lisa's graduation. Andy Paige then comes in to take Lisa out for her graduation makeover. Andy says they have a full day ahead of them and she and Lisa leave. Group is adjourned.

Iyanla is in the confessional talking about Jodi. She says she showed Jodi a videotape of when she first came to the house and was telling her story. She says the tape shows how arrogant Jodi can be. She says she saw that arrogance in Jodi again yesterday when they were doing the "electric fence" exercise" and Jodi jumped in to take control. Iyanla and Jodi meet and Iyanla talks to her about her arrogant behavior. Jodi says she knows she is a "leader," but realizes she needs to have boundaries set in place because she too often gets into other people's business instead of taking care of her own.

Iyanla tells Jodi that the best leader is also a great follower. She says there is a distinction between being a leader and just being controlling. She also says Jodi has issues with honoring her commitments. She tells Jodi that she committed herself to releasing weight, but wouldn't commit to how much weight. Jodi says she wanted to hear compliments from Iyanla. She says it was hard seeing herself on the tape the other day (acting arrogantly), and she wanted to hear something good about herself. She says it was shocking to see her own behavior. Iyanla tells her that everyone has a "shadow." She says it is where we put all the things about ourselves that we don't like. She says our shadow becomes apparent under times of stress. She tells Jodi that our shadow is where our power lies because if we are willing to look at it, we can learn about ourselves.

Andy and Lisa N. arrive at a clothing store called Polkadots and Moonbeams. Lisa tries on several different outfits and Andy gives her some pointers.

Mary Donkersloot, Jodi's dietician arrives, to meet with Jodi. Mary asks Jodi how she has been doing with her diet, and Jodi says she's been doing pretty good, but has "cheated" a little here and there. Mary looks over Jodi's food journal and tells Jodi that she can't lose weight by eating large plates of pasta and cookies. Then Jodi gets on the scale and Mary says Jodi is exactly where she was last week. She asks Jodi how she feels about not losing any weight. Jodi says it's hard to separate herself from the women during meals and that they are eating pasta, etc., because they don't need to lose weight. In the confessional, Jodi says she doesn't appreciate the way Mary is talking to her. Mary asks Jodi if she would like to call or email her each night and set up a meal plan for the following day. Jodi says she doesn't want to do that and doesn't need to do that. Mary says she wants to show that the diet Jodi is on is not unpleasant. Jodi says, "that's not reality, Mary." Mary says she senses by Jodi's energy that she is irriated. Jodi tells ehr she has just been having an irritating day, and it isn't related to Mary. Mary leaves.

Lisa N. and Andy are at a hair salon and Lisa is going to get a new cut and color. She says she is not afraid of big changes.

Iyanla and Jodi meet. Jodi tells Iyanla she is disappointed because she gained a pound. Iyanla asks why she gained and Jodi says it's because she "cheated" on her diet all week. Iyanla says children cheat, but grown ups honor their commitments. Iyanla asks Jodi if she has been keeping up with her food diary, and Jodi hesitates and then says, "Not completely." Iyanla says Jodi is experiencing slippage. Jodi says she will change that and will start taking responsibility. Iyanla asks her how she can know that Jodi will do that and Jodi says Iyanla has to trust her. Iyanla says she doesn't trust anybody on a diet. In the confessional, Iyanla says Jodi is trying to suck her in and when she fails, she will try to blame Iyanla. She gives Jodi a commitment journal. In it Jodi is to write commitments she makes to herself and then check them off when she fulfills them.

SO graduates, Jill, Jessica and TJ arrive to surprise Lisa N. for her graduation. All the women hug them and Jodi goes to Jill and starts crying. She tells Jill she is having a bad day and she wishes she could just pack her bags and leave with Jill. Jill hugs her. In the confessional, Jodi says she is ready to leave the house and start living her life.

All the women gather outside by the pool, along with Dr. Stan and Iyanla, and wait for Lisa N. to come down the stairs. Lisa comes down and Rhonda says she looks stunning. All the women clap for her. Lisa takes her seat and Rhonda goes to the podium.

Rhonda says that when Lisa first arrived at the house, she had the emotional age of a very young child. She says they had to give Lisa a reality check by dressing her in a baby outfit that reflected her emotional age. They flashback to when Lisa was wearing the baby costume. Rhonda says Lisa then had to break her ties of dependency on her parents. They flashback to when Lisa cut up her father's credit card and buried it in a "grave." Rhonda says Lisa then had to be put to work and they flashback to Lisa's jobs in the restaurant and at the ranch. Rhonda then talks about the jewelry Lisa had to make. She says it was only supposed to be a one day assignment, but it turned into many days as Lisa got more and more frustrated with making the jewelry. They flashback to Lisa becoming angry and defensive with her housemates over the jewelry assignment.

Rhonda says Lisa was very rebellious and was unwilling to embrace her own power. Rhonda says that unwillingness led to a board of review, in which Lisa got a "D." They flashback to that BoR. Rhonda says Lisa then became a guest in the house and had to earn her way back in. She says, however, that the issue of Mr. Internet kept cropping back up and Lisa kept lying to her about this abusive relationship. Rhonda says she then put Lisa in a jail to give her insight into what she was doing. They flashback to when Lisa was sitting in the jail cell outside. Then they flashback to when Rhonda caught Lisa emailing Mr. Internet. Rhonda says after that issue with Mr. Internet was resolved, she still couldn't have Lisa graduate because she hadn't earned the last three pieces of her backbone (trust, wisdom and independence). She says she and Iyanla then made a "bold move" and decided to send Lisa home for 30 days to see whether she could earn those last three pieces on her own. They flashback to the BoR when Rhonda told Lisa she wouldn't be graduating, but instead she was sending her home to prove herself.

Rhonda says after Lisa returned home she hosted a dinner party, and Rhonda attended it. They flashback to the dinner party Lisa held at her home in Miami. Rhonda says Lisa went back to Miami with no support, but she managed to get a job and host a dinner party for six people. Rhonda says her hope for Lisa is that she discovers the "amazing" woman she is. She says, "Congratulations, Lisa, you have Started Over."

Iyanla goes up to the podium next. She says she loves the fact that Lisa took the time for herself. She says taking time for oneself is the most self-honoring thing a person can do. She says she hopes Lisa believes she is the woman she says she is. Iyanla then hugs Lisa.

Dr. Stan goes to the podium next. He says he has never before talked to a 40 year old woman in a baby dress, and he jokes that he thought it might be the end of his career. He says Lisa always wanted to give up and she wasn't persevering. He says he kept talking to her about that issue and one day she finally got it and started persevering. He congratulates her.

Jill is next to the podium. She says her experience with Lisa was powerful, enlightening and thought-provoking. She says her hope for her is that she enjoys being a grown-up and she hopes they will all grow old together and laugh about their experiences in the house.

Then Iyanla, Rhonda and Lisa go up to the podium. Iyanla presents Lisa with her graduation gift. They give her a new dining room set. Rhonda then presents Lisa with her SO trophy which reads, "Grown Up At Last." Lisa then stands at the podium. She says she thought her life was over when she came to the SO house. Now she says she feels like her life has just begun. She thanks everyone for not giving up on her. In the confessional, Lisa says she has developed a strong connection with the women of Starting Over because of their shared experience in the house.

The limo comes to pick up Lisa. The women line up outside the front door to say goodbye to her. In the confessional, Lisa says she feels so much love and such a strong connection to the women. She says she hopes she will never lose it because it is the most reassuring feeling she has ever had. Lisa gets in the limo and leaves.

TJ, Jessica and Jill prepare to leave. In the confessional, Jodi says she is ready to walk out the door with them. She says she has given up control of her life by being in the house and she misses that control.

Preview: The women get ready for the new housemate. And when she arrives, they have no idea what they are in for. Christie must answer a life-changing question.

Friday, March 31, 2006

A House United

The show begins with the continuation of yesterday's board of review. Kelly is up at the podium and Rhonda asks her to state her goal. Kelly says her goal is to reach out to life. Rhonda asks her what that means and Kelly says it means she must quit blaming others, take responsibility for her life and realize that what she is looking for she already has. Iyanla asks her what she is doing well and she says she is "loving some people" and letting them love her and touch her. Rhonda asks what she needs to work on. Kelly says she still needs to work on being compassionate and to understand that she has value. Rhonda asks her what grade she would give herself, and Kelly says a "B" because she still wants to run and has trouble being vulnerable. Rhonda gives Kelly the "B" that she says she wants.

Next Lisa is called up to the podium. She states her goal, which is "rebuild the ruins of my life." Rhonda asks Lisa who she is and Lisa says she is a woman of integrity who wants to love. She talks about the exercise she did the other day when she jumped into the pool. They show a flashback of it. Lisa says she wants to "plunge in the river of life." She says she took a risk with that exercise and, although she thinks there is still work to be done, she feels good about what she has accomplished in the house. Rhonda asks Lisa what she still needs to do and Lisa says she has to let go of fear that is holding her back. Iyanla asks her what grade she would give herself, and Lisa says an "A". Iyanla says Lisa has done incredible work and she wants to honor that effort by giving Lisa her "A". Lisa is very happy about that and takes her seat.

Iyanla then says that one thing they (the life coaches) have been working on all year is the quality of the house. In the confessional, she says the women are so focused on their individual growth that they sometimes forget about each other. She asks the women if they feel the house is united or divided. The women all say that they now feel the house is united, although they didn't always feel that way. Iyanla says they will be tested in the future to see whether they are truly united. The BoR is adjourned.

The next morning the women are in the kitchen making breakfast together and getting along with each other. In the confessional, Christie says the house really feels united now and they are all working together. In the confessional, Kelly says the BoR was a big moment for her. She say she is now beginning her journey and will no longer hide who she really is, even if she appears weak.

Iyanla arrives and the women all go outside with her. Iyanla has set up an exercise to test the unity of the house. There is a fence type of structure made into a large square shape that is several feet off the ground. Around the square are note cards with words such as pessimism, projection, denial, dishonesty, etc. Iyanla tells the women that they are to pretend that the fence is an electric fence and they have to figure out a way for all of them to get through the square without touching the fence. She tells them it is all or nothing; either they all make it through or the exercise is a failure. They have 5 minutes to strategize and then they have 45 minutes to make it through the fence. After the 5 minutes of strategy, they can't speak to each other and must get through the square without talking. The women try to figure out a way to get through the fence. They come up with a few strategies. In the confessional, Kim says Jodi is trying to take control and not letting everyone has a say in the planning.

The 5 minutes are up and they start trying to lift each other up and get each woman through the square. (ED: sorry if this is kind of confusing-it's a little hard to describe) They repeatedly fail to get through the square without one of them touching it, and Iyanla yells out "Touch!" each time it happens. They keep trying and failing to get everybody through the fence. Finally the 45 minutes runs out and Iyanla asks them to go sit with her and talk about what went wrong.

Lisa says Jodi and Kelly were trying to run the whole show. Jodi disagrees and says they didn't do anything everybody didn't agree on. Iyanla says that's not true and that Jodi was being controlling. In the confessional, Jodi says the women in the house are followers and behave in a passive-aggressive way which she finds pathetic. In the confessional, Christie says she has been going with someone else's flow and it hasn't been successful for her. Iyanla tells them she is going to give them 10 more minutes to try to successfully complete the exercise. They all go back over the fence and start again.

This time all the women make it through (with Iyanla's help). Iyanla tells them she never said she wouldn't help them. She says the women underestimated themselves before and didn't realize that they couldn't do the task alone. She congratulates them all on finally succeeding. In the confessional, Christie says the women are now united and also doing what they all need to do individually. She says it's an awesome feeling.

Rhonda arrives and the women meet for group. She asks the women what it is they want to do, but haven't done. Christie says she has always been told she has a pretty face and nice skin and she wants to model. Jodi says she wants to adopt children. Kim says she wants to get out of the corporate world and find a job with more passion. Jodi then says she has changed her mind and what she really wants is to have a child of her own. In the confessional, she says she has always wanted to the experience of having a child and she keeps waiting to do it in the typical, "All-American" way (getting married, etc.) She mentions she might go to a sperm bank. Rhonda says it is interesting that Jodi's actions, such as one-night stands, etc., have been ways of avoiding fulfilling her dream of motherhood. Cassie says she wants to write a poetry book about recovery. Kelly says she wants to open her own restaurant. She says she feels like a new person now and starts crying. Rhonda asks her why she is crying and she says she has always wanted to own her own restaurant, but could never admit it before now. She says she was too afraid that she wouldn't be able to do it, but now she realizes that she could do it. In the confessional, Kelly says she didn't even let herself have that dream, but it is always what she secretly wanted. In the confessional, Rhonda says the women's dreams are not so far away; they only have to take a step in the direction towards fulfilling them.

Rhonda then announces that today is Cassie's last day in the house. She says they are going to have a party for Cassie this evening, and then Andy Paige comes into the room. Rhonda says Cassie needs a new dress for the party. In the confessional, Andy says they are just going to focus on Cassie's clothes and make-up because Cassie has issues with having her hair done. They show a flashback when Cassie had a meltdown when they gave her a new haircut/color the first time she was in the house. In the confessional, Cassie says she doesn't need or want her hair changed today. Group is adjourned.

Cassie and Andy arrive at a clothing store called Beverly's and Cassie starts trying on clothes.

Christie and Kelly are sitting outside talking about Cassie leaving. Kelly says she will miss Cassie and Christie says Cassie has a lot of insight. The doorbell rings and Kelly answers it. She finds a bag with a note from Rhonda on it. The note says says there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, and Kelly is to put on the running shoes that are in the bag and go looking for it.

Kelly puts on the shoes and Cassie goes with her out the front door. On the table near the front door is a note that says to go search in the hedges. Kelly and Cassie go look in the hedges and find another note. This note says to go look in the rock garden. Kelly finds another note under a rock which says to go look on the back stairs. They go over there and find furniture, etc., piled up in front of the stairs. Kelly has to move it out of the way and climb over it to get to the next note. The next note says to go back to the front door.

Kelly goes back to the table near the door where Rhonda is sitting, waiting for her. Rhonda tells Kelly to take off the running shoes and she gives her a pair of red shoes (like the ruby slippers in the Wizard of Oz). Kelly puts them on. Rhonda says Kelly is just like Dorothy. She is always searching for something she already has inside her. Rhonda says Kelly is running away from her own anger, resentment and unforgiving nature. Rhonda says, "but wherever you go, there you are." She tells Kelly she wants her to wear the red shoes all day and to make a list of all the things from which she has run away.

Rhonda then meets with Cassie and tells her she is having someone come over today to talk with Cassie. It is a woman who has a business running errands, which is what Cassie wants to do. Cassie is excited to meet with the woman.

Kelly is sitting at the computer writing out her list. She writes that she runs away from frustration, boredom, people being in her space, others not doing the dishes, etc. In the confessional, she says she really keeps running away from the same thing and that is her fear of being weak. She says if she is willing to just be weak, she will not have to run anymore.

The business owner, Lisa Ristorucci, arrives to meet with Cassie. Lisa tells her about her business and how she advertises, etc. Cassie is very interested in what she has to teach her. In the confessional, Cassie says she now has a resume, fliers, business cards, and she is on her way.

Andy Paige arrives to help Cassie with her make-up for this evening. Andy and Cassie go into the bathroom and Andy puts on Cassie's make-up while the other women gather outside by the fireplace and wait. Rhonda is also there and she goes to get Cassie and bring her down. The women all clap and cheer for Cassie as she reveals the new outfit she bought. She looks very pretty. They all sit around the fireplace. Rhonda says that nobody has experienced more disappointments than Cassie. She says that Cassie came to the house to meet her son, and that didn't happen for her. She says, however, that Cassie did get her GED and has started a new life. In the confessional, Rhonda says Cassie is proof that we can change who we are. Then Rhonda tells Cassie that to help her on the next phase of her journey she has a gift for her. She tells Cassie she is giving her three months free rent so she can concentrate on developing her own business and pursuing her dreams.

Then Rhonda says that she wants to inspire Cassie to pursue her other dream of writing a poetry book and has invited two women who are singer/songwriters to the house. Maggie and Meredith walk up. Maggie was a character on Friends (she played Chandler's girlfriend). Maggie says when she is not acting she runs vocal workshops and she is going to do that for the women tonight. Meredith then brings in some drums and other percussion instruments and passes them out to the women. Maggie starts singing and the women are playing the instruments and singing along. Cassie then get up and starts dancing up a storm! In the confessional, Christie says Cassie is a ball of energy and she is always very grateful for everything. In the confessional, Jodi says she is very lucky to have gotten to know Cassie. In the confessional, Cassie says she has set the intention of meeting her son and she says it will happen sooner than anyone thinks. She also says that it doesn't matter what anyone says or does, as long as you have a dream, you can change your life. The limo pulls up and Cassie leaves.

Right after that, they show a preview for "this spring." It shows Cassie back at the house saying she got a call from a young man who says someone has been looking for him. I am assuming this young man is her son!

Preview for next week: Lisa receives an ultimatum. Kim's drinking raises a red flag. Jodis' frustration reaches an all-time high and she is in for a rude awakening. A new woman moves in with a story so shocking it leaves the women speechless.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

The Task-Master

The show starts with Christie on the treadmill. She says she is feeling good about her renewed commitment to being healthy. In the confessional, Kelly says she doesn't feel right unless she is efficient and completes tasks when she wakes up in the morning. Lisa answers the door and finds an envelope addressed to Jodi.

Rhonda arrives and she and Christie go outside to meet. Rhonda hands Christie shorts and a tank-top. In the confessional, Rhonda says Christie must face her issues with her body. Christie goes in the house to put on the shorts/tank top. In the confessional, she says she does not feel comfortable showing her body and is always covering up. Kim sees Christie in her outfit and tells her she has a perfect hourglass shape.

Kim goes back outside and finds that Rhonda has laid out a large purple mat on the ground. Rhonda asks Christie to lie down on the mat and then Rhonda makes an outline of Christie's body on the mat. Christie says she is scared and feels uncomfortable with this exercise, but she goes through with it. In the confessional, Rhonda says Christie's negative self-image is preventing her from progressing in the house. She says if Christie does not overcome this issue, she won't be able to graduate.

Jodi opens the envelope that is addressed to her. Inside is a note from Iyanla telling Jodi that she is going to have a mold of her face made today. In the confessional, Iyanla says the plaster mold of Jodi's face will represent the mask Jodi has been wearing all her life.

After Rhonda makes the outline of Christie's body, she hands Christie the marker and tells her to draw on her body where she sees imperfections. Christie draws lines down her thighs, etc. Then Rhonda has Christie circle those parts on the outline and talk about the things she avoids doing in her life as a result of these perceived imperfections. Christie says she is inhibited sexually. In the confessional, Christie says she feels like a man is getting fooled when he is with her because she has a pretty face, but when the rest of her is "unwrapped" it's not pretty. Rhonda tells Christie she is going to meet with a body expert today. Christie is interested in meeting the expert.

Iyanla arrives and the women gather for group. Cassie shows Iyanla her good morning dance first, which everybody finds entertaining. Then Iyanla says she has something to tell the women. She says, "all of you are leaving the house." Then she asks the women how they feel about that. Kelly says she is not ready and doesn't yet have all the tools she needs. Lisa says it gives her a scary feeling because she is just now finding herself. Iyanla asks them if any of them heard her say they were leaving "today." They all realize that Iyanla meant they would all eventually be leaving the house and hadn't listened carefully. Iyanla says there are three ways of listening. The first way is by agreeing with information you receive based on previous knowledge. The second way is disagreeing based on previous knowledge, and the third way is simply being present and in the moment. She tells the women they will get practice listening in the moment this evening because there is going to be board of review. In the confessional, Lisa says when she heard there would be a BoR, it felt like a bomb hit her. Iyanla tells them that there is always a possibility at a BoR that someone could graduate and someone could be asked to leave. Group is adjourned.

The women are in the kitchen talking about the upcoming BoR. In the confessional, Cassie says she has never liked the BoR because no matter how well you think you're doing, they always find something.

Lisa and Iyanla meet. Lisa tells Iyanla that her daughter, Stephanie, wrote her an email and told her she thinks Lisa doesn't want to talk to her anymore. Stephanie is upset by this change in her mom. In the confessional, Iyanla says Lisa and her daughter have had a codependent relationship and now Stephanie is feeling nervous because it is changing. Lisa says she no longer wants to talk to her daughter about her problems in her marriage and she doesn't want to discuss Stephanie's marital problems either. She says she wants to be the parent to Stephanie now; she says she used to be the child and Stephanie used to be the parent in the relationship. Iyanla tells Lisa to keep her daughter informed of the changes she is making so that she will know what is going on with Lisa.

Kelly and Rhonda meet outside. Rhonda has set up a large board labeled "To Do List." Rhonda says Kelly loves to do scheduling and complete tasks. She asks Kelly what the difference is between a task and a memory. Kelly says a task is something you do, and a memory is something you think. Rhonda asks Kelly to give her a memory of a task she has completed--like mopping the floor spotless, etc. Kelly says she doesn't have explicit memories of that kind of stuff. Rhonda says that is sad because Kelly's whole life is about completing tasks. Rhonda says Kelly keeps trying to prove her love by doing tasks, but these tasks are not enough. She says all she will end up with is a spotless oven and a grudge against her sons for not appreciating what she has done. Rhonda writes on the "To Do" list various things for Kelly to complete. Some of these tasks are emotionally-centered and some are action-based. Kelly has to scrub the oven, clean the bathroom with a toothbrush, do something that would satisfy Kim and share a laugh with Jodi, etc. Rhonda sets a timer and says Kelly only has one hour to complete these tasks. Kelly says she can't do all that in one hour, and Rhonda tells her she will have to prioritize. In the confessional, Rhonda says she will be interested in how Kelly will prioritize her tasks and which ones she will complete.

Lisa calls her daughter, Stephanie. She tells Stephanie to make sure she reads an email she sent to her regarding their relationship. In the confessional, Lisa says she will always be there for her daughter, but she wants to be her parent now.

Jodi goes to get the mold of her face. She goes to Cinema Secrets and meets with RJ McCasland. Jodi sits down and RJ and his assistant began covering Jodi's face with plaster for the mold.

Amy Hendel, the body expert, arrives to meet with Christie. Christie shows her the outline Rhonda made of her body, which Amy finds interesting. Amy asks Christie whether she defines herself by her exterior. Christie says she does, but she is getting a little better about not doing that lately. Christie talks about the scars she has from the botched plastic surgery she had to remove excess skin after her weight loss. Amy says these scars can be seen in a positive way. She tells Christie that the scars represent Christie doing something positive for her body (losing weight), and shows that she "seized the moment" by having surgery to lose weight. In the confessional, Amy says Christie's negative self-image is interfering with the joy of being alive and just waking up every day. She tells Christie that she should say she loves her body every day, and after 21 days it will become an ingrained habit.

Kelly starts her "to do" list by cleaning the oven. Next she moves on to frantically cleaning the bathroom. Cassie walks in and tells Kelly that nobody really appreciates what she is doing. In the confessional, Cassie says she hopes Kelly "blows up" because it will help her to realize that tasks aren't what's important about the exercise. She tells Kelly she hopes she gets "pissed off" about the exercise. It doesn't look like Kelly understands what Cassie means.

Kelly continues cleaning the bathroom and then goes and finds Kim. She asks Kim if there is anything she can do for her that would "satisfy" her in 30 minutes. Kim says she will try to come up with something.

Rhonda and Christie meet. Rhonda tells her she is going to go somewhere in just a few minutes and doesn't have much time to prepare. She says this activity will help Christie get in touch with her body and tells her she can take one of her housemates with her.

Kim finds Kelly still cleaning the bathroom and tells her she could make Rice Crispy Treats for her. Kelly asks her if that will satisfy her, and Kim says it would.

Jodi is still having the mold of her face made. RJ takes off the mold after it dries and shows Jodi (ED it is really cool). Jodi says it is kind of freaky. She says she feels neutral about it and doesn't know what the mask really tells her about herself. She says it is just a stone-cold face.

Lisa is in the confessional, and she says Christie invited her to go to a "yoga" class, so she told her she was willing to go. Christie and Lisa then arrive at the S Factor, which is a sensual yoga studio run by Sheila Kelley. Christie tells Sheila about her body image issues and her scars. Sheila says scars are like battle wounds and are very sexy. She tells Lisa and Christie that sexiness is about your inner core.

Kelly makes the Rice Crispy Treats and also scrubs the oven. Cassie comes into the kitchen, and Kelly tells her she didn't get to do the task on the list that says she should share a laugh and a cry with Jodi because Jodi is not there. Cassie suggests that she call Jodi, but Kelly says she can't share a laugh and a cry over the phone.

Christie and Lisa do some stretching movements with Sheila Kelley. These movements are to help them get in touch with their bodies. Sheila wants them to run their hand over their body and feel their own curves. In the confessional, Lisa says she was uncomfortable with the exercise at first, but then found it interesting to feel her own body in that way. Christie says it made her feel sexy and good about herself. Christie and Lisa thank Sheila for her time.

Rhonda and Kelly meet to discuss how Kelly did on her "to do" list. Kelly says she didn't get to finish much of it. She says she asked Kim what she could do for her and talks about making the treats for her. Rhonda asks Kelly what would really make Kim satisfied and Kelly says it would be if she accepted Kim. Rhonda asks if she took the easy way out by asking Kim what she wanted her to do. Kelly says she did and she just doesn't think she has what it takes to make people satisfied. In the confessional, Rhonda says if Kelly is up for BoR tonight, she is going to have a hard time defending her progress.

Iyanla and Jodi meet. Jodi brings the mold of her face with her to the meeting. Iyanla asks her what she sees in the mold, and Jodi says she doesn't see anything--no pain, no joy, no sadness, nothing but a mask. Iyanla asks her how long she has been walking around wearing this mask, and Jodi says it has been a long time. In the confessional, Iyanla says Jodi has decided to wear a mask throughout her life. Then Iyanla shows Jodi a video of her when she first told her story. Iyanla says Jodi is wearing the same mask there that she is wearing now. In the confessional, Iyanla says Jodi believes her mask is a part of who she is. She says Jodi is in for a big surprise at the BoR. She says Jodi will either have to take off her mask, or it will be all she has left.

Jodi is crying a little and Iyanla tells her that people often wear a mask to put on a positive front. She says we had a need for the mask at one time and it served a purpose for us. Then she asks Jodi to name the mold of her face. Jodi says she already has a name for it and it is "Alex." She says Alex is a good name because the mask has no feminity or pizazz. Iyanla asks Jodi what she wants to do with the mask, and Jodi says she is not sure yet. Iyanla says they will put it back in the box until Jodi decides.

Iyanla and Rhonda enter the BoR room and all the women gather. Iyanla tells them that the BoR is a place to get support and feedback from the life coaches and their fellow housemates. Then Rhonda goes over the grading system. Kelly is then called up to the podium. In the confessional, Kelly says this is huge for her and she is very nervous.

Preview: Kelly prepares to learn her fate. The board of review takes an unexpected turn. Jodi is tested, and Cassie is transformed.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Kim's Obstacles

The show begins with Rhonda in Miami visiting with Lisa N. and her parents. Rhonda asks Lisa's dad whether he has been giving money to Lisa. He says he did try to give her money, but she refused to take it. Lisa's mom says it is ridiculous that she and her husband treat Lisa like she is still 16 years old. Lisa says her parents still criticize her and focus on the negative concerning her. Rhonda asks them if they are willing to see Lisa as an equal, independent adult now and notice the good about her instead of always focusing on the negative. They both say they are. Rhonda asks them if they think Lisa is ready to graduate and Lisa's father says, "Absolutely."

In the confessional, Rhonda says Lisa has come a long way, but she needs proof that she is truly ready to graduate. She wants Lisa to provide confirmation from three additional family/friends that they think she has transformed enough to graduate.

Back at the house, Jodi is in the confessional talking about an email she received from one of the men she met at the flirt-a-thon yesterday. She shows Lisa A. the email and says she feels flattered that he wrote.

Kelly is on the phone with her mom, Phyllis. She tells her mom that she feels sorry for Kim because she is disconnected. She says she used to want to help Kim, but now she just doesn't care.

Dr. Stan meets with Lisa A. In the confessional, he says Lisa has self-esteem issues. He asks her to list her assets and liabilities--her strengths and weaknesses. Lisa says her assets are that she is bilingual and that she is energetic and friendly. As for her liabilities, she says she doesn't persevere and has low self-esteem. Stan tells Lisa he wants her to meet with an art therapist today to explore who she is.

Jodi talks to Christie about the email she received from the guy she met last night. She says she is happy and flattered that he wrote. She says she used to act seductively towards men, but last night she was just herself.

The art therapist, Trish Vernazza, arrives to meet with Lisa. She brings a mannequin with her and wants Lisa to make a paper dress for it. She tells Lisa she wants the dress to reflect how Lisa would want people to view her if she were going out to a party wearing it. She gives her art supplies to decorate the paper dress. At first Lisa has trouble with the exercise and says she feels nervous and confused. As Lisa continues working on it, however, it begins to come together. After they put the dress on the mannequin, Trish wants Lisa to write words that describe how she feels about herself and pin them to the dress. Lisa writes words such as guilt, romantic, hurt, confident, cheated, etc., and pins them all over the dress.

Jodi calls Iyanla to tell her about the email she received. Iyanla encourages her to write back. Jodi says this guy isn't usually the type she finds physically attractive, but his worldliness and his depth of character makes him attractive to her.

Rhonda arrives and the women meet for group. Rhonda asks Kim to come and sit beside her. Kelly looks a little angry about it. Rhonda opens the plasma and reveals that Kim has gotten two steps: Uncover Effects of Childhood Trauma and Face Abandonment. Kim says she feels really good about getting the recognition for her hard work. In the confessional, Kelly says what she thinks about Kim getting these steps is irrelevant. Christie tells Kim how proud she is of her. In the confessional, Rhonda says Kim should celebrate these two steps, but there is not time to waste in getting through her next step and they will begin working on it immediately. Group is adjourned

Jodi emails the guy back and gives her his phone number. She says she is a little nervous that he may not respond.

Rhonda and Kim meet and Rhonda tells Kim they will be working on her next step, which is Learn to Forgive. Rhonda wants Kim to see how much her past is influencing her present and future. She has small paddles with her, and she wants Kim to write down on each paddle something positive she wants in her future. Kim writes that she wants intimacy with her husband, authentic love, forgiveness, etc. Rhonda asks her how she would feel if she got all those things and Kim says she would feel awesome, like a "rock star." Rhonda says Kim has obstacles to achieving these things and those obstacles are Kim's filters from the past. Rhonda has an exercise to demonstrate how Kim's past is preventing her from seeing things clearly.

Stan and Lisa meet again to talk about the art therapy. Lisa brings the paper dress she made with her. Stan asks how the experience was, and Lisa says it was difficult at first, but then it became fun to create the dress. Stan tells Lis that he wants her to prepare a dinner for her housemates and a special guest this evening. He tells her he wants her to make a meal that portrays who she is. Lisa is hesitant about this assignment, but says she will do it.

Lisa and Rhonda get in the van and drive to a parking lot where traffic cones have been set up into an obstacle course. In the backseat of the van is a doll with Jax's face taped to it, and a mannequin with Jeff (Kim's husband)'s face taped to it. Rhonda says that Jeff and Jax are on the ride with Kim and she needs to realize it's not only about herself all the time. They get out of the van and Rhonda puts the paddles (that Kim wrote her future wishes on) into each of the traffic cones. Then they get back in the van. Rhonda tells Kim that her past is getting in the way of what she wants for the future.

Kelly tells Cassie that she doesn't like Kim. Cassie says she feels sorry for Kim because she "isolates" herself. Kelly says a relationship with Kim is one-way only. Cassie agrees.

Rhonda and Kim are in the van, and Rhonda gives Kim a marker. She wants Kim to write on the inside of the windshield all the things blocking her vision of the future. Kim writes unrealistic expectations, self-pity, abused, feel unprotected, etc., on the windshield. The window is now covered with writing and Rhonda tells Kim to to to drive through the obstacle course. Kim can't see out the window, and she runs over the traffic cones and drives off the course. The representations of Jeff and Jax are still in the backseat, and Rhonda wants Kim to understand that they are along for this ride. They get out of the van and examine the traffic cones Kim has run over; her wishes for the future are also on the ground where she ran over them. Rhonda tells Kim she wants to go sit and talk.

Lisa prepares for the dinner tonight. She says she doesn't like to cook and she is getting nervous about the dinner party.

Jodi tells her housemates that she wrote back to the man who emailed her. She says she is not sure whether she wants to go on a date with him.

Rhonda and Kim are sitting on a blanket on the lawn. Rhonda says Kim ran over the future because she couldn't see clearly. Kim says she feels hopeless and doesn't know what to do. Rhonda says Kim has to decide today that she will not let her past control her future. She asks Kim is she is really ready to forgive and leave her past behind her. Kim is crying and says she is ready. In the confessional, Kim says she regrets that she has not let her past go yet. She says it is scary to let it go because it is all she has ever known. Kim says she feels awful putting Jeff and Jax through this, and Rhonda tells her it's her choice to let it go. Kim is crying and says she doesn't want Rhonda to think she is wasting her time on her. Rhonda says it isn't about her; it's about Kim.

Kim returns to the house and tells Cassie she is a new person. She says she has made the choice not to let the past control her future anymore. Cassie seems happy for her. In the confessional, Kim says it is time to make the transition. She says it is scary, but also exciting. Then Kim goes and finds Kelly. She is crying and apologizes to her. They hug. Kelly tells Kim she doesn't know how to "not make you feel bad." In the confessional, Kelly says she feels sorry that is took Kim apologizing to her for her to be able to see Kim as a "human being." She says they are now going to start over.

The doorbell rings and the special dinner guest has arrived. It is Dr. Stan. In the confessional, Lisa says it is a wonderful surprise to have Stan over for dinner. They all sit down to eat. Lisa has made a Mexican dinner and Stan says it is fabulous and represents Lisa's culture and who she is. During dinner, Lisa says that she was expected to do everything for her husband--all the cooking, cleaning, etc. She says she became resentful of this and started hating to cook. Stan says that this was traditionally the role women have taken in Lisa's culture. Stan says when there is an unbalance of power and one person feels "superior," there is usually another person who feels inferior. The women talk a little more about the role women have regarding dating, etc. Then Stan tells Lisa the food was fabulous and everyone claps for her.

After dinner, Jodi is on the phone with Jill talking about Lisa N. She says she talked to Lisa and thinks she might be coming back to graduate. Jodi says she hopes Lisa does graduate because a success for one of them is a success for all of them.

Preview: Lisa A. steps way outside her comfort zone. Christie must overcome her biggest obstacle. And a stunning announcement leaves the women on edge.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Recap Delayed Today

I missed the episode due to an appointment. I recorded it, however, and will recap it when I get the chance!