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Friday, April 28, 2006
Cassie's Journey Continues
The show begins with Cassie in the confessional talking about meeting her son. She says she is unbelievably excited and can't wait. In the confessional, Christie says everyone is thrilled for Cassie and they are all supporting her the best they can.
Rhonda arrives and gives Antonia some invoices for her room and board. Antonia says the cost has gone up because she ate more snacks, etc., yesterday. Rhonda then calls Cassie outside to meet with her.
Rhonda tells Cassie she doesn't want her to get distracted and to remember to speak in complete sentences. Cassie assures Rhonda she will be okay by the time she meets her son this evening. In the confessional, Rhonda says Cassie must stay grounded and should be prepared for anything tonight. Cassie tries to tell Rhonda more about her conversation on the phone with her son, but can't get the words out because she is so excited. Cassie then tells Rhonda that when she looks at herself now she realizes she is not the same person who walked through the doors of the SO house the first time.
Dr. Stan arrives and in the confessional he says he and Iyanla are concerned about Niambi's unhealthy relationship with Mr. Situation. Stan and Niambi sit down to discuss it. He asks Niambi whether getting in this kind of relationship has been a pattern for her. Niambi says she was in a similar situation before this one. Stan asks her why she is attracted to men who don't want her. Niambi says they give her something to "chase" and a goal she can set out to achieve. Stan tells her that some women go after "unattainable" men because they think if they can just "get him" they will have an elevated status above all other women. He also says that sometimes women think the "bad boy" will not act badly towards them (only towards others), but he says people who act "bad" towards others usually treat everybody in their lives that way. Stan then tells Niambi that Iyanla has arranged for her to meet with a love addiction expert today. He also says that he has a "love game" for Niambi to play with her housemates this evening.
Rhonda and Cassie continue their conversation. Rhonda tells Cassie to let her son take the lead when they meet. She tells Cassie not to feel the need to share everything with him all at once and to let him ask questions and be prepared to answer them. Then Rhonda gives Cassie a gold frame and tells her to create a memento of some kind to give to her son this evening. Rhonda tells Cassie that she will be going to get her nails done today and will also have a make-up artist coming to the house later to help her prepare to meet with her son. In the confessional, Rhonda says Cassie will be meeting with her son at a hotel, so that they will be at a neutral location where they can both feel comfortable.
Jodi arrives at Curves and has a work-out. In the confessional, she says she is happy with the way her body is changing. She says she feels more toned.
In the confessional, Rhonda says she has asked Christie to jog to the park to meet with her. Christie is shown jogging towards the park.
Susan Peabody, the love addiction expert, arrives to meet with Niambi. Susan asks Niambi about her current relationship with Mr. Situation. Niambi tells her they have been seeing each other for two years, but that he is unavailable because he is also seeing someone else. Niambi says if a friend of hers were in her situation, she would tell her friend to run for her life. Susan says it is good that Niambi isn't in denial about her dysfunctional relationship. She says Mr. Situation is cheating on Niambi outside of his primary relationship with her. Niambi tells Susan that he already had a girlfriend when they started seeing each other, and that she (Niambi) is the "other woman" in the relationship. Susan says that information changes things. She says the relationship is unhealthier than she first knew. She tells Niambi that there is "triangulation" going on and Niambi must be the one to break it off.
Niambi says it is difficult because she has strong feelings for him. Susan says she understands that it is hard to give up on love, and that it can be an addiction like cocaine or alcohol. Susan says there will be pain and grief associated with giving up on the relationship, and that Niambi will have to allow herself to feel her emotions.
Jodi helps Cassie put a poem she wrote into the gold frame for her son. Meanwhile, Christie is still jogging to the park. When she gets there, she finds Rhonda waiting for her and they sit down to talk. Christie tells Rhonda she didn't stop the whole way there and Rhonda tells her that means she just ran 1.2 miles, which is quite incredible for somebody who just started working out. Then Rhonda tells Christie she is "officially" in training starting today for a 5k run she will be doing in a few weeks. She tells her that a 5k run is 3.2 miles. Then she tells Christie that not only will she be running the 5k, she will also be creating the run, which means she will be designing the race, the logo, signing people up for it, and deciding on a charity. In the confessional, Christie says she is very excited and honored to get this assignment. In the confessional, Rhonda says that this assignment is the most difficult assignment she has ever given in the SO house. Rhonda tells Christie she will be meeting with Lanre later in the day and that he will be helping her plan the run.
Dr. Stan and Cassie meet. In the confessional, Stan says Cassie must downplay her excitement and focus on her son's needs during the meeting. He said if Cassie doesn't do so, she could jeopardize the entire meeting. Stan asks Cassie whether her son was shocked to find out that she was alive (ED he thought she was dead). Cassie says she doesn't think he has processed it yet. Then he says there is potential for disappointment for Cassie if her son isn't the idealized image she has in her head about him. He says her son may be angry at Cassie, or maybe pull away when they meet. He also tells her to be careful not to alienate him in any way from his adoptive mom. Cassie assures Stan that she won't do that. Stan asks her how difficult it will be for her if her son says it was nice to meet her, but then tells her he doesn't want to see her again. Cassie says it will hurt, but that's not what this whole thing is about. She says she just wants him to know she is there for him should he ever want to have a relationship.
Stan then tells Cassie that he will be meeting with her son first, and then Cassie will come in and meet him. He tells her that what she has accomplished is great, and he is glad she is child-centered and cares about his feelings over her own.
Christie starts her planning for the 5k and talks with her housemates about it. In the confessional, Jodi says she is excited for Christie and is happy that her training has turned into something meaningful for her.
Cassie takes Sommer with her to Hand To Hold, which is a nail salon. Cassie gets a manicure as she and Sommer talk. Sommer tells her they have gone through a lot together and it's nice to be together again.
Niambi is sitting outside smoking a cigarette. She says she feels like she is going through withdrawal in regard to Mr. Situation. She says, however, that because there is a little distance between the two of them, she is starting to gain perspective on the relationship.
Christie goes to a running track and meets with Lanre Idewu. She tells him about the 5k and then they do an "endurance" run around the track. When they are finished, Lanre tells her they ran 2 miles. Lanre says that planning a 5k race takes a lot of effort and planning and is really a full-time job. He and Christie go over some of the planning for the run. In the confessional, Christie says that planning the run is difficult and she is beginning to feel overwhelmed.
Estela Sandoval, a hair/make-up artist, arrives to help Cassie. Estela does Cassie's hair and make-up. Rhonda then arrives. In the confessional, Rhonda says Dr. Stan called her and told her Cassie's son's plane has landed and he is now at the hotel. Rhonda and Cassie leave for the hotel together.
Niambi and the housemates are gathered in the living room for the "love game." Niambi asks the women questions about their love lives. Jodi talks about a guy she dated in Atlanta. She says he was a "hot" struggling actor, and she always paid when they went out together. She says she wanted to be seen with him because he was so attractive. Christie says her first boyfriend hit her and pushed her around. She says she also hit him with a hammer and almost went to jail over it. She says it was a terribly co-dependent relationship. Niambi is not sharing details of her relationships and is being vague when answering questions. In the confessional, Jodi says that this assignment was for Niambi, but while the rest of the women are being open and vulnerable, Niambi is not really sharing.
Rhonda and Cassie are in the SUV on the way to the hotel. Cassie has last-minute jitters, but appears to be holding up well. Rhonda is giving her some pointers as she drives towards the hotel. In the confessional, Cassie says she feels like she is on the verge of fulfilling her dream.
Rhonda and Cassie pull up at the hotel and make their way inside. In the confessional, Cassie says this whole thing is a miracle, but it is a miracle that took a lot of work. She says she will not take it for granted because she worked so hard to get to this point. She says all the hard work was worth it.
The show starts a series of flashbacks about Cassie's story. They flashback to when Cassie first talked about giving her son up for adoption. Then they flashback to Cassie getting the letter from her son's adoptive mother telling Cassie not to contact her son. They also flashback to Cassie making a video for her son, etc. Cassie and Rhonda are walking down the hallway towards the hotel room where Cassie's son and Dr. Stan are presumably waiting. Then they show Cassie in the confessional; she says she is about to open the door and look into her son's eyes. They get to the door and Rhonda asks Cassie if she is ready. Cassie says she is... Rhonda opens the door and she and Cassie walk inside.
Preview for next week: Cassie's reunion with her son is more than she can handle. Antonia's frustration boils over. Christie must make a life-changing decision. Niambi explodes in anger and is forced to defend herself in the board of review.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Free Gifts and Cassie Prepares
The show starts with a continuation of yesterday's announcement that Cassie will be meeting her son. Antonia says she is shaking with anger over Cassie giving her son up for adoption. Cassie asks if Antonia is angry with her, and Antonia says she is angry about the fact that Cassie gave up her son. Jodi says Antonia's father didn't give her up, but Rhonda interrupts and says he did. Rhonda tells Antonia that she is really angry at her father; not Cassie.
Rhonda says Cassie is bringing up a lot of "stuff" for Antonia and Antonia should see that as an opportunity to face the bitter, resentful feelings she has for her father. In the confessional, Rhonda says Cassie can help Antonia to see that her father issues are running her life more than she would like to admit. Rhonda then hugs Cassie and tells them all to have a good day.
Christie tells Cassie she is proud of her for making that call to her son. Cassie says she decided she would just do it on her own and didn't need Stan or Rhonda to help her. She says she talked with her son for about 40 minutes, and he mostly just listened. He did tell her that she has no idea what he has been through. She told him she never intended to not be a part of his life. Cassie says she is thankful that Stan and Rhonda are going to help her prepare to meet her son.
Antonia talks with Niambi and Jodi regarding her feelings about Cassie. She says she just doesn't understand why people can't "get it together" for their kids. Niambi suggests that Antonia needs to deal with her father issues. Antonia asks her, "deal with what?" Niambi tells Antonia that she just "went off" on Cassie and so she obviously has unresolved issues. In the confessional, Antonia says she has no respect for her father. She says she knows it sounds bad, but she just doesn’t. Antonia tells Niambi that she is angry with her father, but "so what." she says it's "a wrap" and that's all there is to it.
Antonia goes and finds Cassie and tells her she wants to apologize if she made her feel bad. She tells Cassie she will not apologize, however, for the way she feels. Cassie tells her it is all right and that she doesn't have any animosity towards her. In the confessional, Cassie says Antonia is helping her because her son may approach her with anger and she wants to be prepared if that happens. Antonia asks Cassie a little more about why she gave up her son. Cassie says she wanted a better life for him. Antonia asks her what she wants from a relationship with her son now. Cassie says it isn't about what she wants, but about what her son wants.
Antonia finds another invoice on the floor near the front door and shows it to Jodi. In the confessional, Antonia says paying for everything is a brand new experience for her. She says at home she just wouldn't open her bills.
Two young men from a massage company arrive and set up massage chairs to give all the women massages. Antonia gets her massage, and then the massuese tells her he charges $1 per minute. She owes him $10 for the massage. Antonia falls on the floor and says they are "messing with her serenity." Niambi is laughing and says the whole situation has made her day and is "hilar" (meaning hilarious).
Dr. Stan and Rhonda arrive for group. Rhonda asks how the massages went, and Antonia says she had to pay. Stan tells her there is nothing unusual about having to pay for a service. He tells Antonia she should have asked if it would cost her before getting the massage.
Rhonda then says she wants to go over Sommer's story a little more. She opens the plasma and shows a photo of when Sommer was at her heaviest weight. Sommer says that was her biggest, and she finds it bizarre to see herself at that weight because she no longer identifies with the girl in the photo. In the confessional, Christie says it is really nice having Sommer in the house because they have a lot in common. Next Rhonda shows Sommer's self-portrait; it is of a sun. Stan says it is interesting that Sommer intentionally did not draw herself, but instead drew the sun to represent herself. Sommer says she doesn't want to focus on her looks. Rhonda says she wants Sommer to be best friends with her own body. She does not want her to deny or avoid it. Rhonda tells Sommer she looks forward to supporting her and helping her achieve her goals. Group is adjourned.
Rhonda and Cassie meet. Rhonda asks Cassie what would happen if her son decided not to show up tomorrow. Cassie says she would be hurt, but her heart would hurt for him more than for herself. Cassie then shows Rhonda the papers she has collected to show her son. She shows her hospital records, letters she has written to him, etc. She says these things are proof that she has been searching for him. Rhonda says Cassie doesn't need to prove that. She says Cassie's son just wants to meet his mother. Cassie says the first thing he asked her was, "why now?" She says she wants him to know she has been looking for him all along. Rhonda asks her to name the one thing she wants her son to know. Cassie says she wants him to know that she loves him. Cassie starts crying.
Rhonda tells Cassie she doesn't have to do all these things to prove it. She says Cassie is a mature, compassionate woman who is all grown-up now. She tells Cassie to just be herself. Cassie stops crying and said she just needed to get that out and feels better now. In the confessional, Rhonda says she has arranged for Cassie to meet a man who reunited with his birth mother as an adult. She also tells Cassie that Andy Paige is coming over to help her pick out an outfit for her meeting with her son.
Dr. Stan arrives to meet with Sommer. Sommer tells him she wants to apologize to him. She says she knows a lot of effort went into her process the last time she was at the house, and she is sorry she through it all away. Stan says he is disappointed for Sommer, but she just wasn't ready then. Stan then invites Rhonda to join them. Rhonda says that one of Sommer's steps is to develop healthy intimacy. She says Sommer needs to learn how to interact with different personality types. Stan says it takes time to get to know people, but Sommer has the habit of getting too close too fast with people. Rhonda says that scares people because it is inappropriate to immediately become best friends with someone. They then show a flashback of the last time Sommer was in the house and she was doing the "people pleaser" exercise.
Rhonda tells Sommer that today a group of people are going to be coming over to make chili with her. She says each person will have a different personality type and Sommer must identify it. Rhonda hands Sommer name tags--each tag has a name and a personality trait written on it e.g. "Passive Patty" and "Manipulative Mark." Sommer has to decide who is who while they are making chili together.
Andy Paige arrives to take Cassie shopping. They hug and Andy comments that Cassie looks wonderful and very happy. They leave to go shopping.
Rhonda calls all the women into the living room. After they gather, Antonia says she is angry because she was eating her omelet and it is now getting cold. Rhonda tells her she doesn't want her at this meeting anyway and sends her outside so she can talk to the other women without her hearing. Antonia leaves and Rhonda tells the women that today they are going to help support Antonia with an exercise. Today is going to be a day of "indulgences." She says indulgences will be offered as gifts, but Antonia will be required to pay if she partakes of them. She tells the women not to let Antonia ruin their good time. Rhonda then calls Antonia back in. She tells all the women, including Antonia, that today they will be receiving "treats." Antonia asks whether it is going to cost her money. Rhonda says she doesn't know. Antonia asks her to find out for her, but Rhonda says she will have to find out for herself.
Dr. Stan meets with Antonia. He asks her how she is doing in the house. Antonia says she is doing fine, but mentions the issue she had with Cassie. She tells Stan that she couldn't apologize to her for how she felt. Stan tells her that she saw her father in Cassie. He says that Antonia says she doesn't care about her dad, but it's clear she does have unresolved feelings about him.
Cassie and Andy are shopping together. Cassie tries on various outfits until she finds one she thinks is perfect for her.
Stan continues talking with Antonia. He says that the reason Antonia says she doesn't care about her father is because she thinks he doesn't deserve for her to care about him. In the confessional, Stan says abandonment issues surrounding Antonia’s father’s absence are running her life. Stan tells Antonia that she should think about incorporating her issues with her father into the work she is doing in the house. Then Stan gives Antonia a stack of money. She asks if it is a loan, and Stan says it is her "salary" for the next couple of days. Then he gives her a $150 bill for his services today.
All the women go to a clothing store called It's A Wrap. They meet with the owner, Tiara Nappi. Tiara tells them that they can pick out one item and that it's a "free gift." In the confessional, Antonia says nothing is free and she knows now that everything will cost her something. The women look around and choose the item they want. Antonia helps them, but doesn't choose anything for herself. After everybody has picked out something, Tiara asks Antonia what she has chosen. Antonia says she can't get anything because she is in debt.
Dr. Stan arrives with a group of actors in tow. In the confessional, Stan says the actors he has with him are each going to act out a certain personality type, but like in the real world, they are not going to be obvious about it. He said it will be a difficult exercise for Sommer to figure out who is who. The actors and Sommer go into the kitchen and start making chili together. In the confessional, Sommer says she is having a hard time figuring out the different personality types and is struggling.
A jewelry designer, Natalie Bauer, arrives with a lot of necklaces, earrings, etc. She tells the women they can each choose one piece as a free gift. Antonia looks a little frustrated because she knows she can't get anything. The other women gather around the jewelry and choose which piece they want. In the confessional, Antonia says she is happy for the other women, but she also would like to get some of that jewelry. She says she wants it all, but can't have any of it and it is causing her to shut down. Natalie asks Antonia to pick out a piece of jewelry, but Antonia tells her she can't because she is in debt. Natalie says it is free, but Antonia says, "Not for me it isn't, honey." Natalie then packs up to leave and wishes them all well.
David Clem, a man who was united with his birth mother as an adult, arrives to meet with Cassie. They sit down to talk and Cassie asks him when he found out he was adopted. David says he always knew. He says he searched for his birth mother and found her when he was 19. He says he called her and thanked her for his life. Cassie asks what his mom said, and David said she started crying. David says they met for the first time at LAX and she immediately looked at his hands and counted his fingers because "that's what mothers do."
Sommer continues trying to figure out the different personality types as they are making the chili. Dr. Stan comes into the kitchen and asks them all to gather in the living room. He then asks Sommer to put the labels on each actor and see whether she was able to discern each personality type. Sommer does so and then Stan asks each of them to reveal which personality type they were playing. Sommer got 3 out of 5 correct. Stan says it takes a long time to get to know someone and to truly get to know them. In the confessional, Sommer says she has realized two things: One, she doesn't want to meet people in bars anymore, and two, she has to stop bringing people into her inner circle so rapidly.
David and Cassie continue talking. David tells Cassie about his birth mother meeting his adoptive mother. He says it was a very positive and emotional experience and the two women embraced and thanked each other. Cassie asks David whether his birth mother felt guilty for giving him up for adoption. David says she still feels guilty, but he doesn't want her to feel that way because he has had a good life. She asks whether David was ever angry at his birth mother, but David says he never was. In the confessional, Cassie says she is grateful to David for sharing this very special event in his life.
Antonia finds another invoice on the floor by the front door and shows it to Niambi. In the confessional, Niambi says she really hopes Antonia will get her debt issues under control.
Cassie gets a call from her friend Mimi. Mimi says it is so exciting that Cassie is really going to get to meet her son. Cassie agrees and says she just can't believe it. In the confessional, Cassie says today has been a roller coaster of emotions. She says she can't help but fear that her son may not show up.
Preview: After almost 20 years apart, Cassie prepares to meet her son. Christie receives stunning news. Niambi gets a wake-up call about her love life.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
All Tangled Up And Cassie Returns
This evening is the Wednesday 8PM ET chat! If you would like to participate, click on the live chat link (it's right under the FAQ link in the main forum), or click here. As always, you can use any username you like to enter the chat room. Everybody has a good time at these chats and all are welcome.
The show begins with Jodi showing Sommer around the house. In the confessional, Sommer says she wants to get it right this time because she messed up last time. In the confessional, Jodi says the SO house is a house of opportunity and she would never want to deny someone the opportunity for a second chance.
Iyanla arrives to meet with Niambi. In the confessional, Iyanla says she is concerned about Niambi and hasn't yet gotten a "read" on her. She says she is not sure that Niambi has fully shown up yet. She says she has an exercise for Niambi that will help inspire her to show up in her own life.
Niambi and Iyanla sit down to talk about what Niambi wants to create for her future. Niambi says she wants harmonious relationships, creativity in her job choices, etc. Iyanla writes each of Niambi's "wants" on a board. Iyanla asks Niambi why she doesn't yet have these things and Niambi says it is because of fear. Iyanla collects the boards and asks Niambi to meet her outside at the tennis court.
Antonia tells Sommer that she doesn't have any idea of the value of money. She says she has never before had to pay for things all on her own. Sommer listens and then tells her she has an appointment, but wants to hear more later. In the confessional, Sommer says she feels that the women are going to give her a chance and she is very grateful. Sommer leaves to meet with Rhonda at a park.
Iyanla and Niambi are out at the tennis court. Iyanla has set up "easels" around the court and placed the boards that have Niambi's wishes for her future written on them onto each of the easels. Iyanla tells Niambi that instead of relationships, Niambi has entanglements. Iyanla says entanglements happen when you think someone has something you want for yourself, but think you can't get it on your own. In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi is stuck because of her entanglement with Mr. Situation. She says this man is deeply involved with another woman.
Iyanla has two bundles of strings--one red and one blue. She gives the red bundle of string to Niambi and tells her it represents herself. She keeps the blue string and tells Niambi it represents Mr. Situation. Then she tells Niambi to walk towards easel with the board that has the thing she wants most. Niambi starts walking towards "harmonious relationships" and unravels her red string as she goes towards it. Iyanla takes the blue string and wraps it around Niambi as she makes her way towards the board. Niambi is getting all tangled up and can barely make it to the easel. Iyanla tells her that as long as the has this entanglement with Mr. Situation, she won't search out what she wants in her life.
Niambi winds her way to each easel and Iyanla wraps more blue string around her. Niambi is getting frustrated and says she is choking from the string all over her. Iyanla asks her whether it (the relationship with Mr. Situation) hurts "bad enough" yet. Niambi says it does. Iyanla asks her whether he gives her anything she needs and Niambi replies that he doesn't give her anything at all. Iyanla tells her that until she believes she can get what she wants herself, she won't be able to get out of this entanglement. In the confessional, Niambi says Iyanla is wrapping her up quicker than she can untangle herself and she finds the exercise scary.
Sommer arrives at a park to meet with Rhonda. They sit at a picnic table and talk about Sommer's return to the house. In the confessional, Rhonda says Sommer is all smiles now, and she wonders whether she has forgotten how much work it takes to be in the house. Rhonda asks Sommer what she wants to learn in the house and Sommer says she wants to learn to dance. Rhonda asks her whether she feels beautiful. Sommer says she feels good about her body image about 60% of the time now. In the confessional, Rhonda says Sommer has lost weight, but she must now gain self.
Antonia tells Jodi she is $25 short for food and water today. Jodi says she can rub her shoulders for 20 minutes and she will give her $25 for it. Antonia gives Jodi a massage.
Iyanla and Niambi are still at the tennis court. Iyanla asks her what she is going to do to get out of this entanglement. Niambi says she doesn't know what to do. In the confessional, Iyanla says it is hard for Niambi to face the mess she has made of her life. Iyanla sits in a chair outside and asks Niambi again how she is going to get out of the entanglement (she is all wrapped up in blue string). Niambi doesn't know and asks Iyanla whether she can use scissors to cut her way out. Iyanla says it is her life and she can do what she wants. So Niambi cuts the blue string away from her. In the confessional, Iyanla says if Niambi leaves any of the red thread (which represents herself) on the tennis court it will be like she is inviting people to walk over her. She says she hopes Niambi knows that she is not playing around.
Iyanla leaves Niambi out on the court with her string. In the confessional, Niambi says she knows Mr. Situation is bad for her intellectually, but in her heart she has love for him. She says she feels confused.
Rhonda and Sommer are still at the park and Rhonda has laid out an unassembled bicycle on the ground. There are also knee pads, a helmet and gloves on the ground. Rhonda tells Sommer to put on the knee pads, helmet and gloves. She says that this is how Sommer left the house the last time. She had a foundation with these tools, but had yet to put her "bike" together. She has Sommer label the parts of the bike on the ground with the things she would like to accomplish in the house this time. Sommer puts labels like "dancing" and "trust self" on the parts of the bike. Rhonda then tells Sommer to put the bike together. Sommer says she can't because she needs tools. Rhonda tells her she will have to earn those tools and she doesn't know how long it will take. Then she tells Sommer to gather up the parts of the bike and take them back to the house. In the confessional, Sommer says she left the house and convinced herself that she didn't need to graduate. Now she realizes that graduation is something she really wants and needs in order to fulfill herself.
Niambi is in the confessional and she says she is disgusted with herself and saddened that she has created such a mess of things in her life. She says her heart is broken. She has cut down all the blue string from the tennis court and thrown it away, but has left the red string all over the court. She tells Christie and Jodi that she doesn't know what to do about it. Christie tells her that there are no simple answers. In the confessional, Niambi says she has always had someone directing her in her life and telling her what to do. She says she has the hope that Iyanla will come back and "save" her because she doesn't know what to do now.
Iyanla arrives and doesn't look happy. In the confessional, Iyanla says she is shocked and horrified that Niambi left the red string out on the tennis court. She says it is a stunning example of self-abandonment.
Jodi goes to Curves and meets with Jenny McNulty, a woman who works at the gym. She tells Jenny that she has lost inches and has also lost 11lbs since she started weighing herself. In the confessional, Jodi says she can see a change in her body and she feels wonderful.
Iyanla is at the door with the red string that she has gathered up from the tennis court. She asks Niambi why she left the red string out there. Niambi looks distressed and says she didn't understand what Iyanla wanted her to do. Iyanla asks what she did with the blue string, and Niambi says she threw it away. Iyanla says Niambi brought Mr. Situation into the house and left herself out on the court. She tells Niambi to go get the blue string that she threw away. They sit down to talk and Iyanla tells Niambi she is "very disappointed" with her. In the confessional, Iyanla says her heart goes out to Niambi because she looks dazed and confused by what is happening.
Iyanla tells Niambi that she loves her and is going to tell her the truth. She tells her to please forgive her for what she has to say. She tells Niambi that "you sold your soul for a piece of ass." She says Niambi has done it over and over again with Mr. Situation. Niambi starts crying. Iyanla says Niambi has sold her dreams, her beauty and her talent for a "piece of ass." Niambi continues crying and Iyanla tells her to call her when she is willing to tell the truth. Iyanla leaves. In the confessional, Niambi says she prides herself on being smart. She says she doesn't want to disappoint herself or Iyanla.
The women sit and have a "welcome dinner" for Sommer. Sommer says she is very excited to be back in the house. Later the women are sitting around relaxing when Iyanla arrives to meet with Antonia. Iyanla says she has heard that Antonia is running out of money and she is going to help her. Iyanla has set up a toy ATM machine that she calls "Iyanla's Cash Machine." She tells Antonia she can take money from the machine. Antonia is suspicious, however, and asks her whether she has to pay that money back. In the confessional, Iyanla says she is happy Antonia is questioning even her life coach. Iyanla tells her that whatever she takes out of the bank will have to be put back in the bank. Antonia tells Iyanla that she thinks she is going to empty the ATM, but she is wrong. Iyanla isn't convinced, and leaves Antonia with her cash machine.
Rhonda is standing outside. In the confessional, she says something special happened with one of the graduates and it is an issue the graduate can't deal with on her own. The limo arrives and Cassie gets out and hugs Rhonda. Rhonda and Cassie go inside to tell the women Cassie's news.
Rhonda and Cassie go inside. Cassie is surprised to see Sommer (they were in the house together before). In the confessional, Cassie says it is great that she and Sommer are back in the house together. All the women gather and sit in the living room to hear Cassie's news. Cassie says she left the house with unresolved issues about her son. Rhonda then catches Antonia and Niambi up on the story of Cassie giving her son up for adoption 19 years ago and her efforts to find him. Then Cassie says that four days ago she called her son's place of employment, but they told her he didn't work there anymore. The woman Cassie spoke with told Cassie to call back later that day because someone would be there who knows her son and Cassie could ask her about him. Cassie called back and spoke with her son's friend. Cassie told her that she was the birth mother and wanted her son to call her. The next day, Cassie received a call from her son's adoptive mother. The adoptive mother told Cassie to leave her son alone and that he wasn't ready. She told Cassie that when he was ready, he would get in touch with her. The next day, however, Cassie received a phone call from a "young man" who said he heard she was looking for him and was claiming to be his mom. He tells Cassie that his birth mother is dead. Cassie tells him that she doesn't know what he's been told, but she believes they both have a place in their heart that is missing. Her son asks her why she is contacting him now. She tells him it is not just now; she has been trying to find him for a long time. Cassie says that her son is coming to meet with her at the SO house on Saturday.
Rhonda says Cassie is going to need a lot of support and she will be meeting with people before her son arrives who will help her. Cassie says it is wonderful the way the SO house has supported her and believed in her. She says they held her up when she couldn't walk. She says she never gave up and the people of SO never gave up on her. Antonia interrupts and asks Cassie why she gave up her son. Cassie says she was unmarried and had been an alcoholic and drug user before she got pregnant. She says she knew she couldn't raise him. Antonia asks her why she couldn't "get it together" for her son. Cassie says she couldn't, but that she has been clean and sober for 13 years now. Antonia says she hasn't seen her dad in 10 years and he was on the street stealing, etc. In the confessional, Rhonda says she can feel Antonia's anger from across the room, but that it doesn't have anything to do with Cassie, but with Antonia's anger at her father.
In the confessional, Antonia says there is "no excuse in the world" for Cassie giving up her son. Cassie tells Antonia that she has the "disease" alcoholism and while it's not an excuse, she had to choose to give her son a better life than she could give him. In the confessional, Cassie says Antonia must have gone through a lot, but that her anger is "her stuff" and doesn't belong to Cassie. Antonia says she is so angry she is shaking. Cassie asks whether Antonia is angry at her. Antonia says she is angry that Cassie gave up her son.
Preview: Antonia continues to unleash her pent-up rage at Cassie. Cassie panics at the last minute and wonders whether she can really handle all the pressure.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Kim's Graduation Part II and Sommer's Return
The show starts with a continuation of Kim's graduation ceremony. Stan is still up at the podium and he is talking about the cathartic experience Kim had when she talked to her mother about what happened to her as a child. Stan says he was touched and impressed with Kim's willingness to forgive her mom. He says his wish for Kim is that she be forgiving as she can to those around her who want to love her, but who have been perfect towards her. Stan and Kim hug.
Iyanla goes to the podium next and says she has a joke to tell. An old woman who is sick and very ill falls into a coma and has a dream that she goes to heaven. She tells God she is ready to be there, but God says she still has another 20-30 years left to live and sends her back to earth. She awakens from her coma a new person and immediately goes out and gets all kinds of plastic surgery--tummy tuck, face lift, etc. Right afterwards she is crossing the street and gets hit by a car and dies instantly. When she gets to heaven she says to God that she thought she had 20-30 more years left to live. God says, "I didn't recognize you...." Iyanla says when she walked into the room tonight she didn't recognize Kim because she is a new person.
Iyanla continues and says the most poignant memory she has of Kim is when they were in group and she had Kim get on the floor and enact a "temper tantrum." They show a flashback. Iyanla says that sometimes children don't know that they have a right to be enraged when bad things happen to them. Iyanla says that Kim was born anew the day of the temper tantrum exercise. She says her hope for Kim is that when she goes home nobody recognizes her. She hopes they see the truth in Kim and she also hopes Kim will go to sleep one night and wake up having forgotten all about the battered old woman that was her old life. Kim and Iyanla hug.
Jodi goes to the podium next. Jodi says she and Kim had similar defenses and it was initially hard to connect. She says, however, that they worked through things together. She says Kim taught her true compassion and tells Kim that she loves her very much.
Antonia goes to the podium and says that Kim is quick and smart. She sees Kim as a survivor and hopes that she always remembers that she matters.
Niambi is next to the podium. She says Kim was the first person to make her feel welcomed in the house. She says she is inspired by Kim and she hopes that Kim always remembers to stand up and speak out for herself.
TJ goes to the podium next. She says she and Kim are very much alike. She says when Kim first came into the house she was sad that people had such a difficult time with Kim. She says she could see Kim's innocence right away, and that helped her to see her own innocence. Her hope for Kim is that she always remember her innocence and her vulnerability. TJ hugs Kim and tells her she loves her.
Christie is next up to speak. She is crying and says it is very hard for her. She says she loved her from the first day she met her. Her wish for Kim is that she remembers she is enough no matter what. She tells Kim she is going to miss her very much.
Kelly goes up to the podium next. She says when Kim first entered the house all she did was talk and talk. Kelly says she didn't have the skills to listen to Kim at the time. She says Kim has taught her so much and now she does have those skills. She is crying and tells Kim that whenever she is at home and feels "crazy" she wants her to call her because she knows how to listen now. They hug each other.
Kim goes up to the podium. She is crying and says it is very difficult for her to speak. She says feeling all of their compassion means so much to her. She tells Rhonda she learned so much from her and she could go on and on about all the things Rhonda has taught her. To Iyanla she thanks her for her warmth and her hugs. She thanks Stan for the dad he is and for making her feel like she mattered. She also thanks him for giving her a school teacher crush. Stan says that is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to him. To her housemates Kim says they take her breath away and she loves them so much.
Rhonda then joins Kim at the podium and has her recite the Starting Over Oath. Then Iyanla goes up and presents Kim her gift, which is a three day cruise for Kim in her mom to Baja, Mexico. Then Rhonda presents Kim with her statue. Rhonda says the statue represents Kim finding herself. It reads, "Healing the Heart." Rhonda and Kim hug.
In the confessional, Kim is crying. She says she has never felt such genuine compassion in her entire life. Then Rhonda leads Kim out to the pool and gives her a lit candle to float in the pool. She leaves Kim alone to contemplate her time in the house. In the confessional, Kim says her hope is to always feel like she matters. She says she hopes the feeling of being truly loved never leaves her. She says she wants to soak it all in and says she is incredibly lucky to have been a part of the SO house. She says it will change her life and her relationships forever and it was the best time of her life. She floats the candle in the pool.
The women gather outside the front door with flowers for Kim. Kim comes out and they each hug her goodbye. In the confessional, Jodi says Kim has a great sense of humor. She says it is dark, witty and dirty and she loves it. She says she is going to miss her. Christie hugs Kim and tells her she is sorry that she ever took advantage of her. Christie says when she knew better, she did better. Kim accepts her apology. In Kim's parting confessional, she says she is ready to go, but she is going to miss the house. She says the love and compassion she got here will always be in her heart. She also says that leaving is bittersweet, but she believes that her leaving the house is the beginning of someone else's process. The limo pulls away.
The women go back in the house and Kelly finds a note in the kitchen for them. It says that their new housemate will be somebody they will remember forever. Jodi jokes that it is probably Tess (ED from season 2). In the confessional, Antonia says she feels overloaded. She says Kim was a mother figure for her, and she misses her own mother. Antonia and the other women are in the kitchen, and Antonia tells them she is scared she isn't going to make it in the house. Jodi tells her to give herself a break as she's only been there three days. She says Antonia has learned a lot already. Antonia cannot be consoled and starts crying and heads up to her bedroom.
The next morning, Niambi helps Christie work out on the exercise machine outside. In the confessional, Christie says she feels close to Niambi and feels very supported by her.
The limo pulls up with the newest housemate. It is Sommer, and as she walks to the front door, she says she hopes the women will forgive her and accept her. Jodi answers the door and recognizes Sommer. the other women all greet Sommer and seem to know who she is. In the confessional, Jodi says part of her is on guard with Sommer because of what she did to get kicked out last time. They all hug Sommer and Jodi tells her she looks great.
Antonia finds a note by the front door, which is apparently an invoice for her. She is upset by it, but says it is a reality check for her because at home she just wouldn't open up her bills when they arrived.
In the confessional, Rhonda says this is the first time anyone has attempted coming back to the house after being asked to leave. Everybody gather for group and Rhonda and Iyanla arrive. Rhonda explains to the women that Sommer was at the house a year ago, but was asked to leave because she was focused on production. Rhonda says Sommer was given three warnings, and her housemates were complaining that their process was being interrupted by Sommer's fraternization with production. Rhonda says they held an emergency board of review, and Sommer was asked to leave. They flashback to that event. Rhonda asks Sommer why she has decided to come back to the house. Sommer says she had no intention of jeopardizing the other women's processes the first time she was at the house, but says that is what she did. She is crying. She says she wasn't ready to face her issues and let go of them the last time she was at the house, but she wasn't aware then that she wasn't ready. She says it took her months to realize these things. She says she doesn't want the women in the house not to trust her now based on her past behavior.
Iyanla says Sommer has a lot of courage to come back to the house and say she wasn't ready the last time, but that she is ready now. Rhonda then says she wants to go over Sommer's past for everyone. They flashback to when Sommer first arrived at the house last season. They show her telling her story about her gastric bypass surgery and her 75lb weight loss. Rhonda says Sommer got her first step last time, which was Reality Check. This step was related to Sommer coming to terms with her food issues. She says it wasn't easy for Sommer to get that step. Rhonda says they then had a board of review, and Sommer got a "C" because she was refusing to take risks. She says Sommer wouldn't wear a swimsuit and wouldn't risk looking stupid. They flashback to Sommer refusing to cooperate with Rhonda. Rhonda says after Sommer got her "C" she did better and put on a swimsuit. They flashback to that event.
Rhonda then asks Sommer how she has changed and what she has learned since last being in the house. Sommer says she has released the idea of trying not to appear stupid. She says her health is good and she can eat more now. She also says she is doing better with dating. Rhonda says it sounds as if things are going great for Sommer, and asks her why she is back in the house. Sommer says she is looking for balance. She says she is not balancing her work, love life and dating very well. Rhonda then goes around the room and asks the women whether they think Sommer should stay. They all say she should stay. In the confessional, Jodi says she feels Sommer's apology is genuine. Rhonda then welcomes Sommer back into the house. In the confessional, Sommer says Rhonda's welcome feels like a weight has been lifted from her. She says her heart feels full.
Rhonda says Sommer earned two steps the last time she was in the house and had two steps remaining. Rhonda says they are going to continue on that same path. The last two steps Sommer has to complete are "Healthy Relationships" and "Healthy Body Image." Group is adjourned.
Antonia is in the kitchen talking with Jodi, Christie and Niambi. She says she isn't sure she should even be talking with them because it might wind up costing her money. Jodi tells her she promises she would never charge her for talking. Antonia looks despondent.
Sommer unpacks her things. In the confessional, she says she has to do it right the first time this time. In the confessional, Rhonda says she will not tolerate any bad behavior from Sommer and wants to establish rules with her right away.
Rhonda and Sommer meet and Rhonda asks Sommer whether she can trust her. Sommer says she is asking for Rhonda's trust and she understands that it will be a leap of faith. Rhonda asks her to promise that she will focus on herself and have enough self discipline to make the house safe for herself and the other women. Summer says she promises and she believes she can do it this time. Rhonda tells Sommer she will not be given a second chance this time. She says if she hears any talk of Sommer interacting with or focusing on production, she will be asked to leave. She asks Sommer whether she is willing to follow the rules, and Sommer says she is willing.
Preview: Niambi takes a turn for the worst. Cassie's search for the son she gave up for adoption may be over. And Antonia has an unexpected reaction.
Monday, April 24, 2006
Kim's Graduation Part I And Money Changes Everything
The show begins with Kim in the confessional saying it feels strange that today is her final day in the house. Antonia finds a note from Iyanla on the kitchen table. In the note, Iyanla says she wants Antonia to return to "cash and carry" instead of being in debt. Inside the envelope is also a stack of money totaling $630 (ED: it's play money). Antonia is to use this money for the things she needs over the next couple of days.
Rhonda arrives and the women are gathered for group. Rhonda calls Kim up to sit next to her and congratulates her on her accomplishments in the house. Rhonda says when Kim first came to the house she rarely smiled and was isolated. Rhonda says Kim has done a tremendous amount of work in the house and she wants to honor her for having the courage to explore painful aspects of her past. Kim says it was very difficult when she was first in the house to express her feelings. She says she was never allowed to express emotions like anger while she was growing up, and it became unnatural for her to try to express them as an adult.
Next Rhonda shows Kim's old self-portrait. Kim says when she drew it she felt very alone in the world even though she has her husband and her son. Next they show Kim's new self-portrait. Kim says when she came to the house she realized that she wasn't feeling, but was only functioning from her head (and not her heart). In the confessional, Christie says that she and Kim have something in common in that they both felt that they didn't matter. She says she has forged a bond with Kim and both of them got through those feelings together. Christie tells Kim that she matters and starts crying. She says she will always be there for her to remind her of that. Kim starts crying and thanks Christie.
Rhonda then announces that Andy Paige is there to take Kim out for her makeover. Andy comes in and congratulates Kim. Andy tells Kim she is going to help her to show the world on the outside how much she has changed on the inside. Andy and Kim leave and group is adjourned.
Jodi goes up to her room and finds that her roommate, Antonia's stuff has all been removed. Everything left in the room is labeled "Jodi" so that Antonia knows she can't use those things. Antonia comes into the room and is shocked. Her bed has been stripped and all her personal care products, etc., are missing.
Kim and Andy are at a clothing shop and Kim is trying on dresses. In the confessional, Andy says Kim doesn't have any dresses and so it is time for her to take a risk with her wardrobe and wear a dress.
Christie goes to meet with her fitness trainer, Lanre, at a park. They jog up a hill together. Once they get to the top of the hill, Lanre says they are going to do 50 jumping jacks. Christie is really worn out and is breathing very hard. She stops and says she can't breathe. She says she has to rest and catch her breath. She tells Lanre that this scenario is a metaphor for her whole life because usually when things get difficult, she quits. She says she is not going to quit this time no matter how hard it gets. After Christie rests, they continue their jog. They finish and sit down to rest. Christie tells Lanre that she isn't going to give up this time. Lanre tells her to give her self a reward for the good job she has done today.
Iyanla brings Antonia into a room in the house, which has been transformed into the Starting Over Store. In the room, are all of Antonia's belongings and the things from her room; there is also a "clerk" to ring up Antonia's purchases. Iyanla tells Antonia to shop for the things she needs and to be careful about what she spends. Antonia is using the play money that Iyanla gave her earlier. In the confessional, Iyanla says Antonia has no idea of what it costs to live. Iyanla leaves Antonia to shop. Antonia picks the things out that she needs and then goes to "check out."
Andy and Kim are at a hair salon now and Kim is getting her hair styled. In the confessional, Kim says this makeover is a nice opportunity to prove to herself that she matters.
Iyanla meets with Jodi and Niambi while Antonia is shopping. She wants their support in helping Antonia learn the value of a dollar. She tells the two women to help Antonia out during the day, and then to give her a bill for their services. She wants them to entice her to "buy" things and use things in the house for which they can charge her. In the confessional, Jodi says she thinks this assignment will be great for Antonia.
Iyanla goes back to the "store" and goes over what Antonia has bought. She entices her to buy back the nightstand and lamp that Antonia hadn't chosen. Antonia goes along with her and buys the table/lamp. Then Iyanla and Antonia go back into the house with her purchases and Iyanla hands Antonia a bill for her coaching and support services. Antonia is shocked.
Christie returns from her workout. In the confessional, she says she is aching all over, is tired and feels lazy. She says, however, that all that is about to change. She wants to test her body and make working out a habit for her because it feels good.
The "clerk" from the store arrives to deliver the rest of Antonia's purchases. He then asks for delivery money. Antonia has to give him $20 for the delivery. She is angry about it and goes to tell Jodi and Niambi. In the confessional, Jodi says Antonia is not keeping track of the money she is spending and it is dwindling fast.
Kim and Andy are still at the salon and Kim is getting highlights put in her hair. In the confessional, Andy says she is proud of Kim for surrendering to the makeover and giving up control.
Jodi and Niambi help Antonia put her room back together. Niambi helps her make her bed and Jodi helps her put things away.
Rhonda arrives to meet with Christie. Christie tells Rhonda she has never worked out so hard in her life. She says she wanted to give up, but she didn't. She says it was really emotional and she is proud of herself for not quitting. She says, however, that she is still mad at a part of herself for letting herself get in this bad of shape. She tells Rhonda that the exercise today was a metaphor for her entire life. Rhonda says she applauds Christie's recognition of that fact. Christie says plastic surgery is now the furthest thing from her mind. Rhonda tells her that surgery would have never been necessary if she had just taken care of herself. Christie says she didn't know how to do that before now. Rhonda says now that Christie does know how, she can help herself and others.
Antonia, Jodi and Niambi are in the bedroom. Niambi is doing Antonia's toenails for her. After she is finished, Niambi and Jodi both give Antonia a bill for their services. Antonia now realizes that they are "in on it too." In the confessional, Antonia says she is going to try to stay away from everybody over the next few days because she is running out of money and they are going to try to do things for her etc., and then charge her for it.
Kim and Andy return to the house. In the confessional, Kim says she is going to miss the laughter and all the happy times she and her housemates had together the most.
SO graduates, Kelly and TJ, arrive for Kim's graduation. Then Rhonda, Stan and Iyanla arrive. They all gather and sit to wait for Kim to make her entrance. Kim comes into the room. Her makeover is very nice and she looks pretty. In the confessional, Jodi says Kim looks amazing and she is happy that she looks so beautiful.
Rhonda goes up to the podium to begin the graduation ceremony. Rhonda says when Kim first entered the house she was a frightened, scared shut down little girl. They flashback to when Kim first entered the house and told her story. Rhonda says Kim was physically, verbally and emotionally abused and could not connect with people as a result. They flashback to Kim talking about her childhood home, which was filthy and a scary place in which to live. Rhonda says Kim took a huge risk in coming to the house to heal the wounds of her abusive past and learn to feel again. They flashback to Kim doing an exercise in which Rhonda was trying to help her to feel. Rhonda says in the beginning, Kim was frozen, and they tried to help her feel by getting her to physically express what the abuse was like while she was growing up. They flashback to Kim hitting a chair with a belt, breaking things, etc.
Rhonda says after Kim started to feel a little more, it was time to deal with Kim's issues with her mom who abandoned her. They flashback to Kim's meeting with her mom. Rhonda says that when Kim was able to face her mom and tell her how she felt, she knew Kim was going to be okay. They flashback to when Kim told her mom how she felt about being abandoned. Rhonda says that was the moment that Kim started seeing hope for herself and for her future. They flashback to Kim telling her mom that she wants to have a future relationship with her. Rhonda says Kim has gone a long way towards healing her childhood wounds and that now it is time for her to practice living in the present so she can have a happy future. She tells Kim congratulations because she has "truly started over." Kim and Rhonda hug each other.
Dr. Stan goes to the podium next. Stan says he is impressed with Kim's resilience. He says that she managed to get her college degree, get married and have a son, even after all the abuse she suffered. He says she is very courageous to have come to the house for help. He says they all tried very hard to break down Kim's defenses and help her feel her feelings and they brought Kim's mother to the house to facilitate that. He says he will never forget the time Kim showed her mom all the objects which symbolized the abuse and hurt feelings she had towards her mom for the abandonment. They flashback to Kim showing her mom the fragment of the suitcase her mom left her with when she abandoned her at her dad's house. Stan starts choking up and says that as a father, it tore him up inside to see the pain Kim went through. He says he has never before seen an adult face her mom and express those feelings. He says it was the most intense experience he has ever had at the Starting Over house. In the confessional, Kim is crying and she says Stan's compassion is very touching. She says he is like the father she had always wished she had.
Preview: Everyone may not be prepared for who walks in the door next. The women wonder what Kelly will do at Kim's graduation. And Antonia freaks out.
Friday, April 21, 2006
Somebody Is Going To Graduate And Love Addiction
The show begins with Kim in the confessional talking about writing her forgiveness letters. She says she desperately wants to be loved and understood. Meanwhile, Niambi and Christie are in the kitchen talking about relationships. Niambi is telling Christie about "Mr. Situation." Christie says that it was very painful for her to let Justin go and then reads to Niambi what she journaled to help her say goodbye to Justin. Niambi says that she and Mr. Situation had a huge blow-up right before she left to come to the SO house. She says he is a liar and she has always thought she would rather be "the woman lied about than the one lied to." Christie tells her she shouldn't want to be either, and that she is better than that.
Rhonda arrives to meet with Kim. The go outside to talk, and Rhonda asks Kim about the speech she made at Kelly's graduation last night. In the confessional, Rhonda says Kim has come a long way since being in the house, but the speech may have been a setback. Kim says she knew what she wanted to say while giving her speech, but had trouble saying it. She says she is now "paranoid" that she may have said something wrong. Then they show a flashback of Kim's speech at the graduation. Rhonda tells Kim she was not acknowledging Kelly's growth and instead was acknowledging herself.
Rhonda tells Kim that she feels like Kim had the best of intentions, but that it sounded like Kim was on a soapbox when she made her speech. She tells Kim that she sounded elitist and narcissistic and that Kim was acting like she didn't have any problems and that only Kelly had to change. In the confessional, Kim says she now feels awful. She says her intentions were sincere. Kim tells Rhonda that she was trying to give Kelly a "pat on the back." Rhonda tells Kim she should have told Kelly that she enjoyed watching her grow and that she was an amazing woman, but instead she got "mumbled up." Rhonda tells Kim not to make this an opportunity to beat herself up, but instead use it as an opportunity to realize that people don't have to "get it" the way Kim wants them to get it. Kim starts crying and says she is desperate for people to understand her.
Niambi tells Christie that she doesn't think she should call Mr. Situation because that could be a sign of weakness. Christie tells her she has plenty of time to sort things out. In the confessional, Christie says she identifies with Niambi's relationship problems. She says both of them have settled for less. Niambi says she has had men who treat her well, but that there was no passion in those relationships. She wonders whether she has to sacrifice passion in order to have a "healthy" relationship. Christie says Niambi can have it all and doesn't need to settle.
Kim and Rhonda are still talking. Kim is crying and she says she really messed things up last night. She feels that she how now pushed people away by making that speech. In the confessional, Rhonda says Kim has been writing forgiveness letters to her family, but the most important person she needs to forgive is herself. Rhonda tells Kim that she has done amazing things in her life based on her past. She says Kim has fallen in love and created a family, but that she has not forgiven herself for just "making do" because that is all she knew how to do. She wants Kim to write a forgiveness letter to herself as well as to her family. Then she tells Kim she is sending her to a plant nursery today. She wants Kim to choose flowers that symbolize relationships in her life. They are going to plant them together later in the day. Kim is excited about the assignment.
The women gather for group and Iyanla arrives. Today's topic is about giving and taking. She asks the women whether they are givers or takers. Christie says when she first got to the house she thought she was a giver, but now she realizes that she was just being a "martyr." She says she realizes now that she is a taker. Iyanla says that unless you are giving for the sheer joy of it, you are really just taking. Kim says she loves to give, but she also sometimes does it out of a sense of guilt. Niambi says she gives with strings attached. She says she gives love, etc., with the idea that it will be returned; when it isn't returned she gets upset. Iyanla says when we give with a hidden agenda, we are really taking. Jodi says it is difficult for her to acknowledge that she is a taker. She says she thought she was a giver, but she was giving with a "silent contract" that she would get something in return. She says she knows now that she is "clearly a taker."
Iyanla then tells Jodi to go get a chair and place it beside Iyanla. Jodi does so and sits down beside Iyanla. Iyanla opens the plasma to reveal that Jodi has earned steps. In the confessional, Iyanla says Jodi used to be stingy, but now she is a giver. Jodi has received two steps: Look In The Mirror and Peel Away The Mask. Jodi says she is very excited. She says she knows now that all she needed was inside herself. In the confessional, Jodi says she has a sense of calmness and acceptance now and that she is confident in herself. Iyanla talks about Jodi's ultimate goal, which is to Fill The Empty Cup. She asks Jodi how full her cup is, and Jodi says it is overflowing. Iyanla says to always give the overflow and keep what's in the cup for yourself. Group is adjourned.
Rhonda and Christie meet to talk about Christie's negative beliefs. Rhonda asks Christie what stops her from being healthy. Christie says her marriage went badly, she had the botched surgery and she just became depressed. In the confessional, Rhonda says Christie is trapped behind a wall of negative beliefs and she wants to help her break through them. Rhonda brings out a very large faux wall; she wants Christie to write on the wall all the negative things she says to herself about why she doesn't get fit and toned. Christie writes that she thinks she is lazy, lacks motivation, etc. Rhonda then brings out paper cut-outs of hearts and stars. She tells Christie that when Christie has a change in one of these negative beliefs that are written on the "wall of change," she is to put a heart or star over it and write out the new belief.
Kim goes shopping at the plant nursery, Green Arrow. She meets with Barbara Ann Heath, who helps her choose bedding flowers for her assignment. In the confessional, Kim says she is choosing plants that symbolize growth in her relationships. She says she is choosing perennials, so that they don't need to be "over-nurtured."
Fitness expert, Lanre Idewu, arrives to help Christie exercise. Rhonda introduces Lanre to Christie, and they go out back to have a work-out.
Jodi calls her mom, Karen, and tells her she got two steps today. She also tells her mom she realize she is was a taker, and not a giver. Her mom is surprised, and is also very happy for Jodi getting the two steps.
Christie is working out and Lanre is encouraging her. In the confessional, Christie says Lanre's encouragement is giving her motivation. In the confessional, Lanre says that if Christie keeps up with the exercise, she will feel good about herself and have a sense of accomplishment. After the work-out, Christie introduces Lanre to Kim. Kim is very impressed with Lanre's looks (he is very attractive), and Kim calls Niambi out to meet him. Niambi says "he's so pretty," and says she definitely needs to work out too. Lanre seems flattered by the attention.
Rhonda and Kim meet outside to plant the flowers Kim bought. First Rhonda wants Kim to read her forgiveness letters. Kim reads the one to Jeff first. In it she says she is sorry for trying to control their lives and for not accepting the love he offered. She says she was unsure of herself and relied on him for validation. She also wrote that she loves Jeff deeply and is completely committed to their relationship. In the confessional, Rhonda says she is very impressed with Kim's letter. Next Kim reads the forgiveness letter she wrote to herself. In it she wrote that she is sorry she didn't give herself the love she needed. She says she is also sorry for having unrealistic expectations for herself and is sorry she didn't trust herself. She says she promises to treat herself better. Rhonda asks Kim how she feels about the letter. Kim says it feels good to have written it, but she is scared she can't live up to the promise she made to herself. Rhonda tells her it is very brave to admit that.
Kim then plants the flowers she bought. After she is finished, Rhonda hands her a small wooden box. Kim opens it to find a flower and a note. The note says Kim is graduating! In the confessional, Rhonda says Kim has done well at the house. She says it is now time for Kim to practice all that she has learned in her life. Kim hugs Rhonda and tells her thank you. Then she goes to tell her housemates the news.
Kim finds the other women in the living room and tells them she is graduating. Niambi is very excited for Kim and hugs her. Christie is also excited for her, but she is also upset. In the confessional, Christie says she is in shock that Kim is leaving. She says Kim brings lightheartedness to the house and she is very proud of her. Christie then goes outside to find Rhonda. She hugs Rhonda and cries. In the confessional, Christie says she received the gift of compassion from Kim and she is going to miss her a lot.
Iyanla and Niambi meet to talk about Niambi's relationship with Mr. Situation. Iyanla tells Niambi that a love addiction is just as real as a drug, alcohol or good addiction. Iyanla asks Niambi whether she thinks he loves her. Niambi says she believes he "has loved" her. Iyanla asks how Niambi feels in his presence. Niambi says she feels scared. Iyanla asks her why she stays in the relationship. Niambi says they have sexual chemistry and a lot of passion. Iyanla asks her whether she is addicted to him. Niambi says she is. She starts crying and says she misses him very much.
Christie is crying and talking with Rhonda. She says she feels really bad that Kim is leaving. Rhonda says that Christie's feelings show how much she has grown. She says the way Christie can express her love for Kim is "breathtaking." In the confessional, Christie says she is watching herself and the other women grow, but that she also feels a sense of loss. She says she realizes that this chapter in her life is coming to an end. Rhonda then asks Christie if any of her negative beliefs have changed since meeting with Lanre. Christie says she now knows that she does have enough time to exercise. Christie then puts a heart over that former negative belief written on the wall, and writes "possible" on it. Rhonda tells Christie they will be returning to the "wall of change" frequently.
Iyanla and Niambi continue their discussion. Iyanla tells Niambi that until she can truly acknowledge that she loves Mr. Situation, her suffering will continue. Niambi says she is embarrassed that she feels that way about him. Iyanla tells her that every woman has loved a man who wasn't good for her; Iyanla says she has done it too. She tells Niambi that she has to be willing to acknowledge that she is embarrassed about it. In the confessional, Niambi says she hasn't been honest about her love for Mr. Situation. She says she is feeling hopeless and helpless.
Kim is working on her new self-portrait, and is having a hard time doing it. She asks Jodi for help, but Jodi tells her she can't help her do that. Then they go outside to smoke a cigarette and talk. In the confessional, Kim says her mind is getting jumbled and she can't think. In the confessional, Jodi says Kim is scared to graduate and is letting her fear get to her. She says Kim needs to be kinder to herself.
Iyanla and Niambi are still talking. Niambi says she doesn't trust Mr. Situation and that he doesn't love her in the right way. Iyanla says Niambi doesn't love him the right way either. She tells Niambi that she has to set the bar higher and that he will jump it if she does. Iyanla says if he doesn't jump it, he's not the right man for her. She tells Niambi that she can still love him even if he doesn't, but that she will have to move on. Niambi is crying and says she is hurt and angry. Iyanla tells her to stand up and then they stand back-to-back. Iyanla tells Niambi to lean against her and that she has her back. They stand that way for a moment and Iyanla keeps telling Niambi that she has her back. Niambi is crying. In the confessional, Niambi says she usually feels that nobody has her back and that she is alone, without any support. She says Iyanla is giving her great comfort. Iyanla tells Niambi that she will not let her fall. Then Niambi and Iyanla hug.
Jodi and Kim are outside talking. Jodi tells Kim that she has to give herself more credit. In the confessional, Kim says she is starting to ask herself whether she feels any different than she did when she entered the house. She says this question is "freaking" her out.
Preview for next week: Everyone gathers for an emotional farewell to Kim. Niambi takes a huge step back. Cassie returns to the house with unbelievable news. Antonia has an emotional outburst. And a new woman with a controversial story arrives.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Kelly Graduates
The show starts with Jodi in the confessional talking about Kelly's upcoming graduation. She says it took a long time for her and Kelly to accept each other and that it is bittersweet that Kelly is now leaving the house.
The women gather for group and Rhonda arrives. Rhonda calls Kelly up to sit next to her and then asks the women how they feel about Kelly graduating. Kim says she is excited for Kelly and Christie says thank you to Kelly for listening and loving her. Rhonda them opens the plasma, which shows all of Kelly's steps completed. Then they put up Kelly's old self-portrait. Kelly says when she drew that portrait she felt ugly and that she wasn't really present in her life. Then they show her new self-portrait, which shows a very happy Kelly with a big smile on her face and the word "rest" in big letters. Rhonda says Kelly has given them all the gift of reminding them that being vulnerable has bigger rewards than consequences.
Then Andy Paige comes in to take Kelly for her graduation makeover. Andy says Kelly is the victim of the "C" word--comfort. She says she is going to give Kelly a sexy new look. Andy and Kelly leave and group is adjourned.
Iyanla arrives to meet with Antonia. Iyanla has a large manila envelope with her which contains all of Antonia's overdue bills. Antonia says when she gets a bill, she opens it and then just puts it to the side. She says creditors call and she doesn't answer the phone. Iyanla asks Antonia why she doesn't do what she says she was going to do and pay the people who gave her credit. Antonia says she tries to get organized and pay things off, but then she just stops and doesn't follow through. She says she feels a deep sense of "entitlement." Iyanla has put Antonia's bills all over the table and she is going to help her organize and categorize them.
Andy and Kelly arrive at BVD Women's Fashions to try on dresses for Kelly's graduation. Andy says the dress Kelly chooses will "push the envelope" and "wow her housemates."
In the confessional, Rhonda says she has given Kim an assignment to write letters of forgiveness to the people in her life. She says it will help Kim let go of resentments and "toxic anger."
Iyanla and Antonia have totaled up all the bills she owes and it comes to $24k. Antonia says she feels better and more organized now. Iyanla tells her that an accomplished financial advisor is coming to the house later in the day to help Antonia deal with her financial issues.
Andy and Kelly are now at a salon and Kelly is getting a microdermabrasion. In the confessional, Kelly says that getting the old skin removed signals a rebirth for her.
Famed financial advisor, Robert Kiyosaki, arrives to meet with Antonia. In the confessional, Antonia says she can't believe she gets to meet with Robert. She says people pay hundreds of dollars to watch him give a talk, and she gets to meet with him one-on-one. Robert asks Antonia about her financial situation and she tells him she is $24k in debt. Robert says he was a lot worse off at one time and was one million dollars in debt. He tells her that there are three ways to operate in life. You can operate as a poor person, which Antonia is currently doing, you can be middle class, which means you pay off your debt a little at a time, and you can be rich, which means you figure out how to get out the mess you've created. Antonia says she wants to behave like a rich person. Robert then gives Antonia $100 and tells her he wants her to turn it into $500. Antonia looks stunned and asks him whether that is even possible. Robert says it is.
Kelly is now getting her hair cut and styled. In the confessional, Kelly says she knows now she is a valuable person, and she is worth more than just cleaning the house.
Iyanla arrives to meet with Antonia about her discussion with Robert Kiyosaki. Antonia says it went well and tells Iyanla what she learned. Then Iyanla asks Antonia to open her clothes closet. Antonia does so, and says she doesn't have a lot of clothes. Iyanla says Antonia doesn't take care of the things she owns and is not a "good steward." Antonia agrees and says her mom tells her that all the time. In the confessional, Iyanla says Antonia actually owns very few things. She says Antonia has very little to show for all the debt she has accumulated. Then Iyanla takes out two bracelets that have cut up credit cards hanging off of them. She puts one bracelet on each of Antonia's wrists. The bracelets are pretty big and Antonia protests and asks Iyanla how she is going to wash her hair, etc., while wearing these bracelets. Iyanla tells her she will figure it out on her own. Iyanla tells Antonia that she must understand why she is running up bills and not paying them off before she will change.
Andy and Kelly return to the house and Andy applies Kelly's make-up for her. In the confessional, Kelly says she is very proud of herself and is ready to graduate.
Rhonda, Iyanla and Dr. Stan arrive for Kelly's graduation. They and the women go outside for the candle ceremony. Each woman is given a candle and expresses their hopes for Kelly. Then they float the candle in the pool. Christie says she hopes Kelly will remain vulnerable and will have a beautiful life with her family. Kim's wish is for Kelly to acknowledge herself and her dreams. Niambi hopes that Kelly will continue to embrace her vulnerability and receive all the love and energy that she puts out to the world.
Then Rhonda waits at the bottom of the stairs for Kelly. Kelly comes down and everybody claps. Rhonda is very excited by Kelly's transformation. She has a very nice new hairstyle and is wearing a beautiful green dress. In the confessional, Jodi says she actually gasped when she saw Kelly. She says it is the most amazing transformation she has ever seen.
The graduation then begins inside the house. Kelly's husband and sons come into the room, and then Rhonda goes to the podium and begins. Rhonda says Kelly looks absolutely stunning. She says when Kelly first came to the house, her goal was to Reach Out To Life. She says Kelly had so much passion, but that she was misdirecting her passion towards mistreating herself. She says that Kelly came to the house because she was afraid she was losing her marriage, and felt that she had already lost her children.
Rhonda then talks about how Kelly's therapist told her she was trying to "seduce" her father when she was young. They flashback to when Kelly talked about that incident. Rhonda says Kelly was afraid of reaching out to anyone and couldn't touch others. Rhonda says Kelly was constantly pushing everyone away and was always in a struggle against others. She says that was especially true about Kelly's relationship with Kim. They flashback to when Kim and Kelly were arguing. Rhonda says that Kelly learned to have more compassion while in the house, and then they moved on to helping her connect with her family. They flashback to when Kelly when to a mall with mother/son actors. Rhonda then talks about the treasure chest with the three locks on it that she gave Kelly. She says Kelly had to earn the three keys to open it. They flashback to when Kelly asked her husband whether he still loves her and to when she asked her sons for forgiveness. Then they flashback to when Rhonda gave Kelly the final key to her treasure chest. They show Kelly opening the chest and finding the blanket that had on it, "congratulations, you're graduating." The chest also had a prism inside it, and Rhonda says the prism represented the idea that Kelly was a diamond in the rough. She says Kelly had a lot of love to share, but didn't know how. Rhonda says Kelly can now go home and create memories and have the emotional connections she always wanted with her family and friends. She tells Kelly congratulations and they hug each other.
Iyanla goes up to the podium next. Iyanla says that a wise man once said, "educate a man, and you educate a man. But educate a woman, and you educate a nation." Iyanla says she hopes Kelly will pass on all she has learned to her sons and that this knowledge will then be passed down to future generations and will help build the nation. She congratulates Kelly and they hug.
Antonia then goes to the podium. She says she has only known Kelly for two days, and it's hard to believe the stories she hears about how Kelly used to be. She says Kelly behaved very motherly towards her as soon as she entered the house and that she welcomed her with open arms.
Kim then goes to the podium. Kim says she will miss Kelly and tells her she is beautiful... Then she tells her to "look at a face of innocence," referring to her own face. She says she was innocent during their disagreements and she talks about the time in group when she said something "inappropriate" to Kelly. Kim says she apologized for saying it and let it go. She says that Kelly, however, held onto it. In the confessional, Christie says that this is "typical Kim," and that she wishes Kim would end her speech before she digs and even deeper hole. In the confessional, Kelly says the message of Kim's speech is that it is all about Kim. Kim continues with her speech. She says Kelly is the one who changed a lot (implying that she herself did not need to change as much). In the confessional, Rhonda says Kim is about to graduate, but this speech makes her concerned about her readiness.
Kelly then goes up to the podium. She tells Kim she loves her and has never known anyone in her life like her. She says Kim is definitely unique and is the only person she has ever seen who can get a "belly laugh" about her own self (ED meaning Kim can amuse herself). Kelly says it is refreshing that Kim can be so silly and she thanks her for that. Kelly tells Jodi that she is thankful to her for helping heal her soul. She tells Christie that she is "her baby" and that she is only a phone call away. Kelly tells Rhonda that she make her "worth it" and taught her how to "be." She tells Iyanla that she loves her and that she is grateful to her. She thanks Stan for "dismantling my mind," and says she loves him for it. She says she finally feels rested and will remain that way forever because she is emotionally vulnerable now.
Iyanla then announces Kelly's graduation gifts. They are giving her once a month cleaning service for her home for the next year. They are also giving Kelly and her family a three day vacation to Big Bear, so that Kelly and her family can reconnect without distractions. In the confessional, Kelly says these gifts are fantastic. Rhonda then presents Kelly with her trophy, which reads, "Close and Comfortable." She congratulates Kelly. In the confessional, Kelly says she came to the house rude and unavailable. She says she is leaving rested and hopeful. In the confessional, Jodi says she and Kelly have been through a lot together and they are more than friends. She says she loves her dearly.
Everybody hugs Kelly goodbye and she leaves with her sons and her husband. After Kelly leaves, Kim, Christie and Jodi are sitting outside talking. Kim is going over how the arguments she had with Kelly weren't her fault, but were Kelly's. In the confessional, Jodi says Kim still has the desire to "set the record straight" in regard to Kelly. in the confessional, Christie says she wishes Kim would just let it go and stop digging a deeper hole for herself. Kim tells the women that Kelly really changed a lot and that's why she is graduating.
Preview: Rhonda asks the question on everyone's mind (about Kim's speech). Christie work out heats up. Niambi reveals what really happened in her love life.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Local Breaking News
My local affiliate keeps breaking in with special reports and so there won't be a recap of the show today. 
This evening is the Wednesday 8PM ET chat! If you would like to participate, click on the live chat link (it's right under the FAQ link in the main forum), or click here. As always, you can use any username you like to enter the chat room. Everybody has a good time at these chats and all are welcome.
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Jodi's Mask
The show begins with Kim getting ready to go to the hospital to visit her grandmother. Her grandma has been put in the hospital because she may have had a stroke. Kim says today is a scary day for her.
Bethany has packed up her things and is preparing to leave the house. In the confessional, she says she doesn't regret her decision to leave because she needs to take care of herself.
In the confessional, Kelly says Niambi doesn't like her. She says she doesn't care why Niambi doesn't like her, but says it bothers her nonetheless. In the confessional, Niambi says she is an only child and she is used to being alone. She says people sometimes see her as sad and distant. She says it will take time for everybody in the house to get used to her.
Rhonda arrives and meets with Bethany a final time before she leaves. Rhonda asks Bethany how she feels about leaving and Bethany says she feels good about her decision. Rhonda says she knows now that Bethany didn't come to the house for herself. Bethany says she came for her family. She says it is empowering that she has decided on her own that she isn't ready to be there. Rhonda asks her what Shelby is saying about her decision. Bethany says Shelby is saying, "You go, girl."
Jodi is very upset that Bethany is leaving. In the confessional, she says she is going to miss Bethany. She also tells her housemates that she doesn't want Bethany to leave because she feels being in the house could help her.
Rhonda asks Bethany if she might like to come back, and Bethany says she would. In the confessional, Rhonda says Bethany will know when it is the right time to come back to the house. In the confessional, Bethany says she has developed lifelong friendships in the house and she now has hope for the future. All the women hug Bethany goodbye and Bethany gets in the limo.
Jodi goes outside onto the balcony and is crying. Kelly and Christie are outside with her. Jodi tells them she wants to go home and is scared she may not be able to make it through to the end. In the confessional, Christie says Jodi is so used to taking care of others that she feels people are abandoning her when they leave the house.
Rhonda arrives and the women gather for group. Jodi is still crying and Rhonda asks her what's wrong. Jodi says it was hard to say goodbye to Bethany and she also feels like she will never finish. She says she wants the whole thing to be done so she can go live her life. Rhonda asks if Jodi thinks they are holding her back. Jodi says no, but that she feels misunderstood. Rhonda says today's topic is unfinished business, so that fits in with what Jodi is experiencing. She asks Jodi if she is angry or feels betrayed that Bethany left. Jodi says she is angry, but not at Bethany. She says she is angry at Stan and Rhonda for not doing all they could to help Bethany stay. Rhonda asks if she should have held Bethany there against her will. Jodi says Bethany wanted to stay. Rhonda says Bethany came there for her family and not herself. She says she could have talked Bethany into staying, but it would have been right. She tells Jodi that she left the door open for Bethany and that she can return anytime she wants.
Rhonda then asks Jodi if she wants to leave the house. Jodi says she doesn't. Rhonda asks Jodi if she is willing to be misunderstood in order to gain understanding. Jodi says she is willing to do whatever it takes. Christie is also crying and she says they have all experienced a lot of growth in the house. She says being sad about Bethany leaving means they are willing to be open and vulnerable. Rhonda agrees and says in the past they might have numbed their feelings out with drugs or food, but now they are willing to love. Kelly is also crying and she says that today is the first time she has had compassion for Jodi. She says Jodi was right when she said Kelly didn't know how to support her. Kelly says she didn't know how before, but now she does. Jodi goes over and hugs Kelly.
Rhonda says today they should focus on their unfinished business, and then group is adjourned.
Kelly calls her coworker, Janet, as part of her ongoing assignment to apologize for punishing people in her life. She tells Janet she is sorry for being jealous and trying to sabotage her when Janet moved up to management. Janet says Kelly never treated her badly and she doesn't want her to feel sorry. In the confessional, Kelly says honesty is making her friendship with Janet more complete.
Rhonda meets with Kelly and has with her a "treasure chest" with three padlocks on it. Rhonda asks Kelly what has stopped her from feeling love and Kelly says it has been her unwillingness to be vulnerable. Rhonda says it's time to clean up Kelly's unfinished business and tells Kelly that if she practices love, she will know love. Rhonda then brings out three pieces of paper cut into the shape of keys. She tells Kelly that she will have to earn the keys to open the treasure chest. She tells Kelly to think about something that would scare her (make her feel vulnerable) in regard to her husband, one thing that would make her feel the most vulnerable in regard to her sons, and one about one of her housemates. She wants her to write each of these things on the paper keys. Rhonda says she will be back later to talk to her about it.
Christie goes with Jodi for a work-out at Curves. First Jodi gets measured, but refuses to be weighed again.
Kim comes back from the hospital. In the confessional, she says they still don't know whether her grandma had a stroke and things are not good today. Kelly continues working on her "keys" assignment. In the confessional, Kelly says she wonders what is in the treasure chest and wants to figure out how to unlock it. She says she chose Niambi as the housemate with whom she will do something supportive or vulnerable. She says she could have chosen someone easier, but she is going to risk it with Niambi.
Jodi and Christie finish their workout and leave Curves to go back to the house.
Rhonda meets with Kim. She asks her about her grandmother and Kim says it is a scary situation. Rhonda asks her what happened at the hospital. Kim says she told her she loved her and that she is the best grandma ever. Rhonda tells Kim that relationships are like gardens because they have to be pruned, watered, etc. Rhonda says she has an assignment for Kim. Later in the day a gardening expert is coming to teach Kim about gardeing and creating healthy plants.
Iyanla arrives to meet with Jodi. In the confessional, Iyanla says Jodi has spent years trying to be someone else. She says Jodi has forgotten who she is and can't keep commitments to herself as a result. She says the mask Jodi's been hiding behind is now cracking. Iyanla has brought small pebbles with her and she and Jodi go into the dining room with the pebbles and Jodi's mask. Iyanla tells Jodi to use one of the pebbles to break the mask. Jodi tries, but the mask only gets chipped off a little even when she really pounds it with a pebble. Iyanla says that is what Jodi has been doing all her life; chipping away at things, but not getting anywhere. Jodi says the mask is very thick and she just doesn't want it any more. She starts crying. Iyanla asks her if she is ready to surrender control, and Jodi says she is. Iyanla asks her if the mask still serves her and Jodi says it doesn't.
In the confessional, Iyanla says it is time for Jodi to release her mask. She says Jodi has been struggling a long time trying to hold onto her false ID. Iyanla and Jodi go outside onto the balcony with the mask. Iyanla tells Jodi that the mask has served her well and protected her. Jodi agrees and says her mask was the only one who knew her. Jodi is very emotional and is crying. Iyanla gives Jodi the mask and tells her to let it go over the balcony. She says not to let it go with anger, but with gratitude because the mask protected her and served her needs for a long time. Jodi holds the mask over the balcony. The other women are watching through the window. Jodi lets it go and it falls to the ground and bounces into the pool below. Iyanla announces that "it's done." Jodi says she is more open and vulnerable now than she has ever been in her life. Iyanla asks Jodi if she wants to see what she looks like now without the mask, and the two go inside the house.
Rhonda arrives to meet with Kelly. Rhonda asks Kelly what would be one thing she could do for her husband. Kelly says she is going to really listen to him. She says he is always asking her to listen, and she never does. Rhonda says listening is brave, but asking and really hearing the answer is even braver. She asks Kelly what question would be the scariest to ask her husband. Kelly says it would be to ask him whether or not he still loves her. In regard to her sons, Kelly says the scariest thing to do would be to admit she's been a terrible mom and ask for a second chance. She says with Niambi, it would be scary to support her because she might get rejected by her. Rhonda asks her what would be the most vulnerable questions she could ask Niambi. Kelly says she worries that Niambi thinks she is not nice, so the scariest question to ask her would be whether Niambi thinks she is a nice person. She says she doesn't know if she wants to know the answer. Rhonda tells Kelly to be willing to be rejected. She tells her to do that tonight and she will earn a key.
The gardening expert, Barbara Keegan, arrives to give a lesson on gardening to Kim. They go out by the pool were some rose bushes are planted, and Barbara shows Kim how to prune them and "communicate" with them.
Kelly sits with Niambi and asks her if she thinks she is being nice towards her. Niambi says that Kelly checked up on her last night, and she thought that was nice of her. Niambi says she has issues with being "not so nice" towards people too. In the confessional, Kelly says she is shocked that Niambi admitted that and that she and Niambi have similar issues.
Iyanla takes Jodi into a room with lit candles and a mirror set on the floor. Jodi sits in front of the mirror and looks at herself. In the confessional, Jodi says she has released the past and can see herself for who she is. Iyanla asks who Jodi sees in the mirror. Jodi says she sees Jodi. Iyanla asks Jodi to make a promise to herself in the mirror. Jodi starts crying and says she wants to let her mom and dad "off the hook," and she wants to stop punishing them. Jodi says she wants to have them in her life in an authentic way. In the confessional, Jodi says it is very powerful to know that she is enough.
Kim and Barbara continue working on the rose bushes. Rhonda comes outside and thanks Barbara for her help. Barbara says goodbye. Rhonda tells Kim that her relationships are like the rose bushes. She says some of them need a lot of work and might not make it, some of them just need to be pruned, and some are already healthy and just need a little TLC. She then gives Kim some flat sticks and tells her to write on each stick the status of her relationship with her aunt, husband, etc.
Jodi fills the bathtub and gets ready to take a bubble bath. In the confessional, Jodi says today has been a "huge, great day." She says she is going to sit in the bathtub and have a "victory soak."
Kelly finds a note on the door that is addressed to her. The note is from Rhonda and it says that Kelly has earned one of her keys (because of her conversation with Niambi). In the confessional, Kelly says she now has to ask her husband if he still loves her and then ask her kids to give her a second chance at being their mom. She says she knows how to do that now.
Preview: The newest roommate arrives with some pretty shocking behavior. Kelly confronts her family with life-changing questions. Niambi makes a stunning admission.
Monday, April 17, 2006
Bethany Makes Her Decision
The show begins with Niambi in the confessional. She says she is an only child and is used to being alone. She is having difficulty adjusting to the group atmosphere in the house. In the confessional, Christie says Niambi is guarded and she is having a hard time not being judgmental because Niambi is very stand-offish.
Jodi reads a note from Iyanla. It says that the women are going to go rock climbing today. In the confessional, Iyanla says this exercise will give the women an opportunity to participate in teamwork and to support each other. The note from Iyanla says that the women should each pick a support partner for the rock-climbing exercise.
The women arrive at Rock Creations and meet with their instructor, Hunter. Hunter gives them some guidelines for indoor rock-climbing and tells them they will be climbing the rock wall blindfolded and their support partners will help guide them up the wall. Each woman takes her turn climbing the wall and they all do well; Niambi goes last. In the confessional, Niambi says she feels the women have higher expectations of her because of her background in athletics. She says she feels a pressure to excel in this exercise. She also says she really doesn't need a support partner to make it up the wall, and could easily do it alone. In the confessional, Christie says she believe Niambi thinks they are all "cheese ball" and "corny." She says Niambi doesn't yet understand that that's just the way the women support and love each other.
The women arrive back at the house and Bethany, Sara and Rhonda meet. Rhonda asks how things are going and Sara says she thinks the house is a great place for Bethany. Rhonda tells Bethany that she knows she has been waffling about whether to stay in the house and today she will have to make a final decision. She tells her not to decide yet, however, and that she wants Bethany and Sara to spend the afternoon at the beach to talk it through first. Rhonda says she will meet Bethany later in the day to find out what she has decided.
The women gather for group and Iyanla arrives. Iyanla wants to talk about the distinction between help and support. Christie says when she helps someone it has always meant enabling them; she says supporting someone means being that person's cheerleader and always being there to listen. Iyanla asks the women who they find the easiest to support in the house. Kim says it is easiest to support Bethany. Then Iyanla asks who is the most difficult to support. Christie says it is Jodi because she always challenges her when she tries to offer her support. Jodi says Kelly is most difficult for her to support because they trigger each other so much. Iyanla then asks them to name the person they find most difficult to support in their lives. Niambi says her father is the most difficult because he always believes he is right. Kelly says her mom is the most difficult because she seems so fragile. Iyanla tells them that the way to support someone is to release your judgment about them. Group is adjourned.
Kelly calls her mom, Phyllis. She tells her mom that she feels her mom always wants her to be exactly as she wants her to be in order to get acceptance from her. Phyllis says Kelly is the same way. In the confessional, Kelly says she realizes she has angry feelings for her mom. Kelly tells her mom in no uncertain terms that she is never going to the person she wants her to be.
Iyanla meets with Niambi to help her "reframe" some things in her life. She asks Niambi about her relationships with men. Niambi says they haven't all been bad. Niambi tells Iyanla about a boyfriend she had in college. She says they shared common interests and related to each other well. She says the relationship ended because he "needed to focus" on other things. Iyanla asks her how that made her feel. Niambi says it felt familiar because that's the way it always was with her dad when she was growing up. She says her dad always had to focus on something "more important" than her, like his other family, money, his car, his dog, etc. Iyanla asks Niambi what she feels about that. Niambi says sometimes she just told herself it didn't matter, and sometimes she tried to prove she did in fact matter.
Rhonda arrives to meet with Kelly. Kelly tells Rhonda she had a "fantastic" discussion with her mom. She says she thinks she handled the discussion correctly. In the confessional, Rhonda says Kelly punishes people in her life and that she has made a mess of her life from behaving that way. Rhonda tells Kelly she is an "expert punisher." She then brings out a basket with various food items in it. Each food has a blank label on it. She tells Kelly to write on each label the name of a person she has punished and how she punished him/her.
Iyanla and Niambi continue their discussion. Iyanla wants Niambi to write down three important relationships she has had with men. She writes down the long-term relationship she had in college, the relationship with her father, and her current relationship with "Situation Man." In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi has been with a man for two years, but she calls him "Situation Man" because he lives with another woman. Iyanla tells Niambi to write down one positive and one negative thing that happened in each relationship.
Kelly has finished filling out the labels on the food items. Rhonda comes back and they go outside together with the basket of food. There is a mat laid out on the ground and Rhonda starts opening the food and splattering it on the mat. Kelly talks about how she punishes various people in her life as they open and pour out each package of food. She says she punished a friend at work (Janet), because she got a promotion and she was jealous of her. She says she punishes her husband by not letting him express his own opinions. She punishes her sister for moving away with their father when they were young and she punishes her son, Mike, for not living up to her "perfectionist" ideal of him. Rhonda says Kelly punishes people when they don't stay exactly as they are, or when she believes their loyalties have changed in any way. In the confessional, Kelly says she is still punishing people in her life because it's the way she has always been. Rhonda and Kelly continue to splatter food like syrup and flour, etc., all over the mat. Then Rhonda gives Kelly "tools" she has been using in her life to clean up all her messes. She gives her a ruler, some glue and some cleaner. She tells Kelly to try to clean up the mess with those tools because those are the tools she has been using all her life. Kelly stands there with her tools and looks at the mess.
Bethany and Sara go to the beach. In the confessional, Sara says she thinks the SO house is a safe place for Bethany to be and she wants her to stay. They go over the pros and cons of Bethany staying as they sit on the beach. Bethany says she is torn; a part of her wants to stay and part wants to leave.
Kelly has wrapped up the mat and hidden the mess inside it. Rhonda comes back and sees what she has done. She says that is exactly what Kelly has always done; she has wrapped messy things up in a nice pretty package. She says Kelly is still trying to pretend that everything is okay when it isn't. Rhonda asks her if that is true, and Kelly says it is, but she doesn't know how to change it. Rhonda tells her the only way to change it is by being honest and speaking the truth. She tells Kelly she wants her to call three people she has punished in the past and tell them she is sorry. She also tells Kelly to call her husband and sons and invite them to the house for a one-on-one.
Bethany and Sara arrive back at the house. Bethany tells Kim she still hasn't decided whether or not she will stay.
Iyanla and Niambi go over the pros and cons of each of her three important relationships. Iyanla wants to help Niambi "reframe" the negative experiences she has had in these relationships. She tells Niambi that instead of thinking that her boyfriend from college "bailed" on her, for example, she could reframe it by thinking he gave her freedom. She tells Niambi that he also taught her that she is loveable because he did love her. Niambi starts crying. Iyanla tells her to say she is loveable and Niambi does. Iyanla asks her if she believes it and Niambi says she wants to believe it. In the confessioanl, Niambi says she feels like a "bucket of water" in the house. She says she has been masking her emotions for a long time and now they are all bubbling to the surface.
Kelly calls her sister, Glenda, to apologize for punishing her. Kelly is nervous and thinks her sister might reject her. Glenda, however, sounds very accepting of Kelly's apology. Kelly tells her it was wrong of her to punish her like that.
Stan and Rhonda arrive to meet with Bethany and find out her decision. Bethany tells them she feels like she could "vomit" because she is so emotional about making this decision. Stan says people come to the house to solve issues in their lives and that you have to have a certain amount of strength to do it. Bethany says she doesn't have the strenght to do it right now. Stan tells her that he and Rhonda don't want her to do anything she is not ready to do. Bethany says she has decided not to stay in the house. Rhonda then tells Bethany she can either leave tonight with her sister, or she can wait until the morning and spend a little extra time with her housemates before she goes. Bethany says she will leave in the morning. In the confessional, Stan says Bethany is just too overwhelmed by grief to be in the house right now. He tells Bethany to seek out a bereavement counselor when she gets home. He also tells her he thinks she has made a good decision and they all support her. Rhonda tells her that she will always be her life coach and will always be there for her. She says Bethany might decide to come back to the house when it is a better time for her.
Bethany then goes to tell her housemates of her decision. Stan and Rhonda go with her to support her. She tells them and Stan says it is a unified decision of the house. In the confessional, Christie says she feels horrible that Bethany is leaving.
Bethany packs her things and Sara helps her. In the confessional, Sara says she feels in her heart that Bethany has made the right decision for herself. She says it seems like a weight has been lifted from Bethany's shoulders.
Kelly calls her husband, Dave, and tells him Rhonda wants him and their sons to come to the house. After Kelly gets off the phone, she notices that Niambi has fallen asleep on a bench near the phone. She goes and tells the other women. In the confessional, Kelly says Niambi doesn't even realize that Bethany is leaving in the morning because she has been isolated and asleep on the bench.
the women gather at the front door and say goodbye to Sara. Later Jodi tells Christie and Kelly that she doesn't understand why Bethany is leaving. Jodi says she thinks Bethany really wants to stay. Kelly says Bethany wishes she could stay, but she can't because she is not ready. In the confessional, Jodi says she is very sad that Bethany is leaving and she doesn't want her to go.
Preview: Jodi fears she can't hold on anymore. Kelly goes into uncharted territory. Christie's fears take over.
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Happy Easter!
Friday, April 14, 2006
The New Housemate Arrives
The show begins with the women cleaning the house in anticipation of their new housemate. In the confessional, Bethany says she is excited to meet the new woman and she is also very excited to see her sister, Sara, who will also be arriving today.
The newest housemate, Niambi, is in the limo on her way to the house. She says she is anxious about entering the house, but wants to work through things that have been holding her back in her life. The limo pulls up to the house and the women all gather to greet Niambi. Kelly then takes Niambi to the bedroom they will be sharing and shows her around.
The women gather for group and Rhonda and Iyanla arrive. Iyanla wants to jump right in and get to know Niambi. She tells her that she will be her primary life coach and then she puts Niambi's first photo up on the plasma. The photo is of Niambi's parents. Niambi says her parents divorced two years after she was born. She says she was raised by her mom and her dad remarried. She now has a stepsister and a half-sister. She says her half-sister is her dad's favorite. Niambi says she was a tomboy and her dad thought she should be more feminine. He told her she would never get a man with her "ugly legs" which were scarred up from playing rough as a child. Iyanla asks her if she thinks her dad wanted a son instead of a daughter. Niambi says he definitely did.
In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi comes across as confident, but she can sense that underneath the confidence are self-esteem issues. Iyanla puts the next photo up on the plasma, which is of Niambi when she was 16 years old at a dance recital. Niambi says she did African dance for many years and then turned to athletics. She says her dad never came to her dance recitals or her athletic meets. The next photo is of Niambi in a long jump competition. Iyanla asks Niambi whether she was good at athletics. Niambi says she was good enough to make a living at it. She was also ranked #1 in the triple jump at one time. She says it wasn't about winning to her however, but was about competing against herself.
Iyanla asks Niambi whether she has a sense of pride and accomplishment about all she has done in the athletic world. Niambi says she didn't feel that way while she was participating in it. She says she has a lot of negative self-talk, etc. In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi lacks self value and worth and is abusive towards herself.
Niambi says she is "on strike" from running/jumping now. She says she doesn't want to run anymore because it became unpleasant and difficult. She says her life was always very structured and regimented, and now that she has quit athletics she "eats crazy" and doesn't work out. Iyanla says it seems as though Niambi has a major disconnect from something. Niambi says she has never figured out who she is. She says she did the athletics in order to get approval. Iyanla asks her whether she ever got the approval she was seeking, and Niambi says she didn't.
Next they show a photo of the man Niambi is currently seeing. Niambi says it isn't a "relationship," but more of a "situation." She says the guy already had a girlfriend when they met, and she told him she didn't want to get involved with him, but he was extemely persistent. She says he kept calling her and showing up at her house. She says she lets him "manhandle" her. Iyanla asks how long she has been in the relationship, and Niambi says it isn't a relationship, but they have had a "situation" together for two years and have been intimate with each other.
Rhonda asks Niambi why there has been no commitment after two years. Niambi says it's because he already has a girlfriend. She then says she confronted his girlfriend at one time. Iyanla says Niambi was being a "biatch" and was competing with the guy's girlfriend. Iyanla asks Niambi why she didn't just leave the guy alone and Niambi says she tried. Iyanla says Niambi is a "fierce competitor" and that's why she confronted the girlfriend (to compete with her).
Next they show Niambi's self-portrait. It has one head and three faces within the head. To the right of the drawing she has written, "The Three Faces of Eve." Iyanla says it means Niambi can change in a moment into a different person. Then she tells Niambi that she can't play the game (of competition) in the house because she doesn't know the rules. She says the first rule of the house is that you have to love yourself, and she tells Niambi that she doesn't know how to do that.
Then Iyanla has Niambi's goal in the house put up on the plasma; the goal is "Run Towards Life." Niambi likes the goal and starts crying. She says she has been running away from everything and almost doesn't have a life. Iyanla tells her that they will meet later and tells her to dress comfortably. Group is adjourned.
The women are in the kitchen (except Niambi), and they say they really like her. Kelly says she is very beautiful. Christie says she is so raw and new. She says it reminds her of how she felt when she came into the house. Kelly says it is going to be rough for Niambi and that she "actually has compassion" for her.
Niambi unpacks. In the confessional, she says she feels like a bystander in her own life. She says she is nervous about being vulnerable in the house and is aware of the risk she is taking by opening up and perhaps being judged.
Bethany's sister, Sara, arrives. She and Bethany go in the kitchen and talk. In the confessional, Bethany says they are very close and usually see each other on a daily basis.
Niambi arrives at a track to meet with Iyanla, who is there waiting for her. They sit in the bleachers together and Iyanla asks her how it feels to look out over the track. Niambi says it is sad because she feels that it is over for her now. She says she has now stopped running and has taken a menial job that she doesn't like. In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi is a professional runner and has been running all her life. She says she has no sense of who she is now.
Iyanla has Niambi go on the track and do a lap around it. Niambi does so and then comes back to sit next to Iyanla. Iyanla asks her what she has been running from. Niambi lists things she has been running from and Iyanla writes them down on pieces of paper. Niambi says she is running from judgment, abandonment, the fear of being alone, etc. Then Iyanla tapes the pieces of paper on hurdles placed on the track. She then gets Niambi to jump over the hurdles. Niambi does so. Afterwards Iyanla tells her that she needs to show up in her life the best she can.
Rhonda, Bethany and Sara meet. Rhonda tells Sara that Bethany has said Sara is her main support system. Sara says it goes both ways and they both support each other. Bethany says they are closer now since the death of Shelby and have developed an even deeper level of trust. Sara says she wanted Bethany to come to the house because she didn't see her getting help any other way. She says she already sees a positive change in Bethany and can see the spark of the old Bethany coming back. Bethany starts crying and says she feels guilty about enjoying herself without Shelby. She says it's hard to realize that things are moving forward without Shelby.
Rhonda asks Bethany to tell her sister her goal. Bethany says it is to rediscover joy. Rhonda says in order to do that Bethany will have to let go of Shelby. Bethany says she doesn't want to do that. Rhonda says their approach to helping Bethany is two-pronged: They are going to help her with her grief, but also have action-oriented tasks and exercises. Then Rhonda gives them a scrapbook that says "Bethany Through The Ages" on the front. She wants Bethany and Sara to make a scrapbook about Bethany's life. Rhonda leaves them to the project.
Niambi returns from the track. She tells Jodi a little about it as the two make something to eat. In the confessional, Jodi says Niambi seems very pleasant and she likes her.
Bethany and Sara work on the scrapbook together. Bethany says it feels great and she is elated to go through old pictures of herself and think about her life.
Iyanla and Niambi meet to create Niambi's steps. Iyanla asks Niambi what she most wants. Niambi says she wants to learn self-acceptance. Iyanla asks her what the most challenging aspect of her life is right now, and Niambi says it is in the area of relationships. Niambi's first step is "Learn The ABC's Of Love." They talk about Niambi's "situation" with the guy who already has a girlfriend. Niambi says she thinks of him as "Mr. Right Now" and felt that he was ultimately the girlfriend's problem and not hers. Niambi then says she didn't think she was good enough to have a man to herself. Iyanla tells Niambi that she is a powerful creator, but she is just not creating what she wants in her life. Niambi's second step is "Embrace Inner Authority." Her third step is "Create Loving Experiences." Iyanla tells Niambi it takes willingness, readiness, and allowance to be successful in the house and asks Niambi if she is ready. Niambi says she is.
Rhonda, Bethany and Sara meet to go over the scrapbook. Bethany talks about going to college and that it was a proud accomplishment for her. She also talks about how much she enjoys dancing. Rhonda tells Bethany that she has an assignment for her; she is to give the housemates dancing lessons tonight. Bethany is very excited about it.
In the confessional, Niambi says she has been living an unfulfilling life of loneliness. She says she is very unhappy and is looking forward to finding happiness.
The women all gather in the living room and dance together. They seem to all be having a great time. In the confessional, Bethany says she does like having a good time. In the confessional, Sara says she is impressed that Bethany feels so comfortable dancing and letting loose.
Later in the evening, Kim and Niambi are outside talking. Niambi tells Kim she has been abrasive with people in her life in the past. In the confessional, Kim tells her it is better to feel your feelings than to suppress them.
Niambi checks her voice mail and she has one message; it is from "Situation Man." He says in the message that her being at the house will give them both time to think. He says he wants to break the cycle of hurting people and he wants to "clean up the muck" in his life. In the confessional, Niambi says she thinks "Situation Man" is self-absorbed and ego-centric. She says she is letting him go in her head and she hopes to let him go in her heart.
Preview: Christie can't deal with Niambi. Jodi feels she can't hold on anymore. Kelly slides back to her old ways. Niambi struggles with a broken heart. Bethany has a big decision to make.
Have a great weekend and Happy Easter!! 
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Jodi And Kelly Argue and Addictions
The show begins with the women gathering for group. Rhonda arrives and tells the women she wants to talk about alcoholism and other addictions today. She asks them what they think of when they think of an alcoholic. Christie says it means to her someone who is escaping feelings and just can't control how much s/he drinks. Christie says she used to think of an alcoholic as someone who had to drink every day; now she realizes she is an alcoholic because of the way she would binge on alcohol and couldn't stop drinking once she started.
Rhonda says people tend to believe that an alcoholic is someone who is always obsessed with alcohol, but that isn't necessarily true. She also says that for many people, addiction stems from feelings of shame about who they are. She says addicts do not like themselves and would rather be someone else.
Jodi says it isn't only alcohol that can be used addictively. She says she used food and talks about being bulimic. She says she used food to "numb" herself and not feel anything. She says when she finally asked for help and told her mom about the bulimia, her mom didn't take it seriously. She says she felt all alone and that she had to wage a "quiet battle" against bulimia. Jodi says she still has to fight the feeling of wanting to act in a bulimic manner. She says certain foods are "bulimic foods" to her, and she has to stay away from them.
Christie says she uses food to soothe herself and she likes to bake brownies, etc., when she is feeling bad. Jodi says that it is hard to be around all the snacking in the house and that it irks her the way people in the house go back and forth from eating healthy foods to eating junk. In the confessional, Kelly wonders "who made "Jodi the rule maker?" She says what she eats is her decision and not Jodi's.
Kelly says cigarettes were her addiction. She says she smoked for 25 years. She started feeling out of breath all the time and it got worse and worse. She finally went to the doctor and had a chest x-ray. They told her she had "nodules" on her lungs. She says she looked herself in the mirror that day and decided she would never smoke again; she has not smoked since then.
Rhonda says addiction takes away our focus, energy and time. She says it lessens our ability to be empowered. She tells the women that they all have the capacity to heal themselves, even if it doesn't seem as if they do. Group is adjourned.
Dr. David Crausman, an addiction expert, arrives to meet with Kim regarding her and her husband's issues with alcohol. Kim tells him that she is concerned about her husband, Jeff's drinking, and says he has a very addictive personality. She says she can have one glass of wine, but Jeff will drink the whole bottle and then open another one. Dr. Crausman asks Kim whether she thinks she had a drinking problem. Kim says everybody in her family drinks, so it is normal behavior to her. She says, however, that she doesn't think she has a drinking problem. In the confessional, Kim says she is not very concerned that she has a drinking problem; she says she doesn't think she has one.
Dr. Crausman says he is concerned that Kim may be projecting her issues with alcohol onto Jeff and not taking responsibility for her own actions. Kim thinks about that for a minute, but doesn't agree. She says she will do whatever it takes to have alcohol out of her and Jeff's life. In the confessional, Kim says she now understands that in order to help Jeff she has to look at the big picture, including her own drinking habits.
Dr. Crausman says the first step for Kim is to talks to Jeff about the issue. He asks Kim what she will do if he says he doesn't want to stop drinking. Kim says that would be her worst nightmare. She says that it would lead to her leaving Jeff and being a single mother, which is what she fears most. Dr. Crausman says that Kim needs to share with Jeff that him not quitting the drinking is a deal breaker for her.
Kelly, Christie, Bethany and Jodi are in the kitchen. Kelly and Jodi are both cooking their own breakfast. Kelly says she is "pissed" about things. She says she makes her own decisions about what she eats. Jodi says to Kelly that she can't let it bother her what Jodi said in group. Kelly says, "don't tell me how to feel." Jodi tells Kelly she is "throwing" her emotions onto her. Kelly says she didn't ask Jodi for anything (ED for input). Kelly asks Jodi what Jodi would do if she told her she couldn't smoke cigarettes. Jodi says she smokes outside away from Kelly. Jodi then says she doesn't have a problem with what Kelly eats. Kelly says Jodi does in fact have a problem with it and brings up a situation that happened the night before, in which Jodi made some comment about snacks Kelly and Bethany were eating. Kelly says in the real world people eat and you can't ask them to put their food away because you're on a diet. Jodi says she didn't ask Kelly to put her snacks away. Then they start talking about an issue they had in the past with potatoes (ED: this issue is a little unclear). Jodi then says that in the house they are supposed to be supporting each other. Kelly says "I'm not supporting you with $hit." Kelly then walks out of the kitchen.
In the confessional, Christie, who was in the kitchen during the argument, says that both of the women are being nasty and the situation is a real mess. In the confessional, Kelly says Jodi only wants support on her terms and only when she asks for it. Then she says (as if speaking to Jodi), "you're on a diet! Say it...DIET. I wish I wasn't but I am," meaning that's what Jodi should say.
Jodi talks to Christie and Bethany about the snack incident that occurred the night before. She asks Bethany whether she thought she was angry at her. Bethany says she thought Jodi was angry when she commented on the snacks she and Kelly were eating, but she didn't think Jodi was angry at them; just at the situation of not being able to eat the snacks too. Christie says that was her interpretation as well.
Kelly calls her husband, Dave, and tells him she had an argument with Jodi. She says Jodi is trying to tell her what she can eat, but she can eat whatever she wants and doesn't want to support Jodi on her dieting issue. In the confessional, Kelly says she is at the house to heal the wounds within herself and with her family and friends. She says she is not here for Jodi. Kelly tells her husband she feels stuck in the house with no way to get away from Jodi.
Rhonda arrives and meets with Bethany outside. Rhonda mentions that Bethany's sister, Sara, is coming to the house tomorrow. Bethany says she is excited to see her because she is her support. She says it was Sara who encouraged her to come to the house. Bethany says even if she decides to leave the house, she wants to get some sort of counseling, but she wouldn't know where to look for that kind of help. Rhonda says a lot of people let that stop them. Bethany says she is afraid of facing the unknown. Rhonda says her job is to "embrace the unknown." Rhonda asks Bethany whether this is the first time in her life that she has put herself first. Bethany says it is probably is, but worries that it might be selfish. Rhonda says putting yourself first is a very nice gift to give yourself. She says you will feel selfish when you do that at first, but if you're too afraid to feel selfish, you will never be able to be there for yourself.
Kelly and Dr. Stan meet outside. In the confessional, Stan says Kelly often devalues herself and he wants to talk with her about that issue. Kelly tells Stan that she and Jodi "got into it." Kelly says she is perturbed because she feels like she can't eat what she wants in the house (because of Jodi). Stan asks Kelly if Jodi issued an "edict" of some kind that prohibits Kelly from eating what she wants. Kelly says Jodi did do that. She talks about the way Jodi commented on snacks she was eating the night before, and says it made her feel like she was five years old. Then she tells Stan about what Jodi said in group about people in the house sometimes eating healthy and sometimes eating junk food. Kelly tells Stan that she usually lets Jodi cook her breakfast first, but because Jodi said that in group, she cooked her breakfast at the same time as Jodi. Stan asks Kelly if she was doing that to "punish" Jodi. At first Kelly denies it. Then Stan says it was "retribution wasn't it?" Kelly then says it absolutely was retribution. In the confessional, Kelly says she doesn't want to give up bacon, candy and sodas. She says she doesn't want to support Jodi with her diet.
Stan says he wants to talk with Kelly about her self-worth. In the confessional, he says Kelly has poor sense of her own self-worth and he wants to help her boost it. He tells Kelly that she doesn't see herself as being worth a great deal. He wants her to write down on a large piece of paper that he has set up all the things Kelly does in a normal day at home. Kelly writes that she shops, is a taxi for her kids, does the bills, laundry, etc. Stan asks how much she thinks these things are worth. Kelly estimates that they're probably worth about 20k per year. Stan tells Kelly to go research what she would have to pay someone to do all the jobs she does for free and that they will meet later.
Rhonda and Kim meet to discuss Kim's meeting with Dr. Crausman. Kim says the meeting went well and was helpful. Rhonda says she wants Kim to call her husband and talk to him about the alcohol issue. She wants Kim and Jeff to create a plan to stop drinking. Kim says she is very afraid of having that conversation because she wants Jeff to stop drinking so bad (and she's afraid he won't).
Bethany gets a call from her sister, Sara. Sara tells her she will be flying out in the morning and will be at the house tomorrow.
Jodi tells Christie that Kelly has told her not to expect anything from her. She says she has supported Kelly numerous times, but that in order to have a friendship there is give and take. She says Kelly doesn't give; she only takes.
Kelly is on the computer working on her assignment from Dr. Stan. She is starting to realize that the jobs she does for free would cost her a lot of money if she were to hire someone to do them for her.
Iyanla arrives to meet with Jodi. In the confessional, Iyanla says Jodi's mask of control and denial is covering some deeper issue inside Jodi. She asks Jodi why she thinks she wears the mask. Jodi says she thinks she wears it so people won't see her inadequacies. Iyanla tells her there is another possibility for why Jodi wears a mask.
Stan arrives and meets with Kelly, who has finished her assignment. They go over it together, and Kelly says it would cost her $718 per day, and over $216,000 per year to hire people to do all the jobs she does at home. She says she is shocked by that.
Iyanla tells Jodi that perhaps she wears the mask because she doesn't want people to see how deeply wounded she is. Jodi agrees and says she doesn't want people to see that she feels "weak and pathetic" inside. Iyanla asks Jodi whether she has ever "nursed" her wound; if she has ever just sat with the pain of it. Iyanla says Jodi has to look inside herself and realize how she is showing up in the world. Jodi says she had an issue with Kelly today and that she was proud of the way she handled it.
Stan and Kelly are still talking. Stan tells her that she is so task-oriented that she has let emotional issues slide. Kelly agrees with him. In the confessional, Stan says that once Kelly can see her own value, she will no longer care what others say and think about her.
Jodi and Iyanla continue their discussion. Jodi tells Iyanla that Kelly got upset with her about the food issue. Iyanla says it doesn't matter what everyone else is eating or doing; it only matters what Jodi is doing. Jodi says when they snack, etc., it makes it difficult for her. Iyanla says that isn't true. She says it is difficult for Jodi because she hasn't made a firm commitment to herself yet.
Kim calls her husband, Jeff. She tells him she has a serious issue to discuss and is afraid to talk about it. Jeff tells her to just "jump right in." Kim asks Jeff how he feels about her decision to give up alcohol. Jeff says he feels good about it. Kim asks him how he would feel about joining her in giving it up. Jeff says it is not realistic in the long term. He says he will eventually want to have a few drinks socially. Kim says she is committed to not drinking at all. Jeff says he does not have cravings for alcohol and it is only socially that he really wants to drink. Kim says that isn't exactly true and that the biggest arguments they have had are over Jeff's drinking at home. In the confessional, Kim says that Jeff is in denial about his drinking. She says he has said he wouldn't drink in the past, but then starts drinking again. Jeff says they have to keep things in perspective. Kim says she is scared that he won't give it up completely and that she feels like her worst nightmare will come true if that happens and that she will end up a single parent.
Preview: The new roommate moves in. Bethany's sister arrives at the house. And she has some surprising things to say.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Christie Models and Bethany Is Undecided
This evening is the Wednesday 8PM ET chat! If you would like to participate, click on the live chat link (it's right under the FAQ link in the forum), or click here. As always, you can use any username you like to enter the chat room. Everybody has a good time at these chats and all are welcome.
The show starts with Christie getting a phone call from Rhonda. In the confessional, Rhonda says the women are anxiously awaiting a new housemate since Lisa left, but she says things never happen the way the women think they will at the SO house. On the phone, Rhonda tells Christie that she is going to have a special day today and is going to get to experience what it is like to model. In the confessional, Rhonda says Christie has always dreamed of being a model, and today she will get to see whether it is something she really wants to do. Rhonda tells Christie that Andy Paige will be arriving later to help her prepare to have photos taken. Christie is very excited.
Dr. Stan arrives and the women meet for group. He wants to discuss the holidays with the women and how holidays can be difficult on an emotional level. He asks the women to describe their favorite holiday memory. Christie says it was the C-mas that she was in kindergarten. She says she made a clay sculpture of a C-mas tree in school and gave it to her grandmother, who really loved it. She says her grandmother still puts out that clay tree every C-mas. Kim says her favorite holiday was last C-mas when she decorated the tree with toy cars for Jax. Kelly says last year she and her husband set up two C-mas trees; one for each of their sons. She says they decorated their own C-mas tree and there was no fighting, etc. Bethany says last year was her favorite memory. She says it was the first time she and Shelby were in their own home and it was just the two of them. Stan tells Bethany that she doesn't have to mourn Shelby every day of her life, nor does she have to punish herself for the accident. He asks Bethany if she likes for people to bring up Shelby, and Bethany says she loves to talk about her and wants people to keep her memory alive. Stan tells them all to have a great day and group is adjourned.
Bethany tells Kim that she is only at the house because her family wanted her to be there. In the confessional, Kim says she can't fathom how terribly Bethany must feel, but she thinks Bethany will get a lot out of being there if she stays. Kim tells Bethany that she should talk to Dr Stan and tell him how she feels. In the confessional, Bethany says she wants to be home with her family, and although this is a once in a lifetime experience, she really doesn't want to be at the house.
Andy Paige arrives to help Christie. She tells Christie to gather her best accessories, her shoe wardrobe, etc., before they leave. In the confessional, Christie says she is nervous and excited; she thinks the photo shoot will go very well.
Jodi is on the phone with Iyanla. Iyanla tells her she will be meeting with an art therapist today to paint her mask. She tells Jodi to use the mask to express her feelings. Jodi says she likes the idea.
Bethany talks with Kelly about the accident that took her daughter's life. She says it is still surreal to her and sometimes she can't believe it actually happened. In the confessional, Kelly says she thinks Bethany is courageous, but that it will take time and trust for her to truly express her feelings over the loss. In the confessional, Kelly also says she is very grateful for her own children, and feels ashamed that she hasn't appreciated them in the past. In the confessional, Bethany says a lot of times she just wants to hide away and not feel, but she is determined to move past it.
Christie and Andy arrive at the clothing store called Silhouettes. Christie tries on clothes, and then they choose a few outfits that the store owner is letting Christie borrow for her photo shoot.
the art therapist, Trish Vernazza, arrives to meet with Jodi. Trish helps Jodi choose colors that represent her feelings and Jodi paints her mask.
Christie and Andy arrive at a photography studio. Christie has her make-up done by Margaret Kimura; Margaret also gives her some tips about modeling. In the confessional, Christie says she is getting more and more nervous about the photo shoot.
Jodi continues painting her mask and talking with Trish. Jodi says the painting the mask makes it more real. In the confessional, Trish says Jodi has issues with control, denial and fear. She says that Jodi began to look inside while she painted the mask and saw the loving side of her as well. Jodi has finished painting the mask and says she sees love and acceptance in it. She tells Trish, however, that she doesn't want to keep the mask any longer. Trish tells her to hold onto it for a while and "sit with it."
The photographer starts taking Christie's photos. In the confessional, Christie says she feels awkward and silly while she is having her photos taken. Andy tries to give Christie some pointers on modeling; she tells her about showing different emotions in your face during each pose, etc. In the confessional, Andy says you have to have a real passion to do modeling, and she is not sure Christie has that passion for it.
Dr. Stan arrives to meet with Bethany. They go outside to talk. Bethany tells Stan she has had some "awakenings" and she wants to be home with her family. She says she doesn't want to be a the house. Stan tells her that she is probably getting fatigued from all the grief work. He tells her this is the last day they were going to focus on her grief, and then they are going to move onto helping Bethany rediscover herself. Bethany says she is still going over the pros and cons of staying and has yet to make a final decision. Stan tells her to write down a list of the pros and cons and then they can go over it. In the confessional, Stan says most of the women want to go home initially, but Bethany has a stronger pull because of her tragic experience with losing her daughter. Stan tells Bethany he will come back later to talk with her again.
Christie is still at the photo studio. She is getting her hair done for another series of photos. In this series, she is supposed to appear "edgy." They start taking more photos, but it isn't going very well. In the confessional, Christie says she realizes now that modeling really is a job. She says the photographer is getting frustrated with her and she is getting frustrated with herself. She says modeling is an incredible amount of work.
After the photo shoot, Christie, the photographer, and Andy go over the photos and some of them have turned out very nice. In the confessional, Christie says what she got out of this assignment is the realization that she is starting to love herself.
Dr. Stan comes back to the house to meet with Bethany again. They take a walk together and Bethany tells him she is exhausted. Stan says they have a process in the house of getting the women to express their emotions until they feel that they have been processed. Bethany says she is still confused about whether she wants to stay. In the confessional, Stan says he thinks Bethany will regret leaving and that perhaps if her sister came out to support her, she would feel better about staying. Stan tells Bethany they are going to start working on discovering other aspects of Bethany's personality soon. Bethany says she feels guilty about going on that journey. Stan says that Bethany will always be Shelby's mother and motherhood is a title Bethany will always have because she earned it. He says, however, that there are other aspects of Bethany that they can discover. He then tells Bethany to ask her sister, Sarah, to come to the house and give her support. He tells her to call her sister and they will work out the details later. Bethany feels good about having her sister to the house because her sister is her number one supporter.
Christie and Andy arrive back at the house. Christie tells the women about the photo shoot. She tells them she doesn't necessarily think modeling is her passion. In the confessional, Christie says she doesn't know whether she could handle the rejection and disappointments that are inherent in the modeling business.
Bethany calls her sister, Sarah, and asks her to come to the house on Wednesday. Sarah sounds hesitant at first, but then says she will come. In the confessional, Bethany says Sarah is afraid to fly out there alone. She says she is so happy that Sarah is coming because she can help her decide what to do about staying in the house or leaving.
There is a note on the door for Jodi from Iyanla. The note says Jodi is to give her housemates a survey and they are to look at Jodi's painted mask and circle the adjectives on the survey that they think describe Jodi's mask. Jodi leaves the women to complete the surveys. After the women are finished with their surveys, Jodi collects them. In the confessional, Jodi says she kind of wishes she wouldn't have shared her assignment with the other women because it makes her feel vulnerable. She says some of the words that they used to describe her mask "freak her out." She says Kelly and Kim both used the word "arrogant" to describe the mask, but she does concede that she can be arrogant at times.
The women get ready for bed. In the confessional, Christie says she has decided that modeling is not her life's passion and it is really hard work. In the confessional, Bethany says she is genuinely torn about whether she will stay or go.
Preview: Jodi opens up for the first time about a major tragedy in her life. Tension between Jodi and Kelly erupts again. Kelly's patience has worn thin.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Lisa Graduates
The show starts with Christie in the confessional talking about Lisa's upcoming graduation. She says she is grateful to have had Lisa in the house and she is going to miss her very much. In the confessional, Jodi says she feels very connected to Lisa and although she is excited for her, she is not ready to see her leave.
Dr. Stan and Rhonda meet with Bethany to follow up on the meeting Bethany had yesterday with Susan, another mother who lost her child. Stan asks Bethany what she learned from talking with Susan. Bethany says she has learned that she has to keep going; she thinks she can have happiness and joy in her life again, but it won't be the same as before she lost Shelby. Stan tells her that the joy will be different, but it won't necessarily be painful. In the confessional, Rhonda says Bethany is afraid of experiencing joy because she will feel guilty that she is experiencing it without Shelby. Bethany tells Stan and Rhonda that she is exhausted and feel "beat." Stan mentions that Bethany will be attending her first graduation ceremony tonight, and Bethany says she is excited about that.
Andy Paige is applying Lisa's make-up for her. Lisa says she is anxious to graduate and ready to face whatever awaits her.
Later in the evening, Rhonda, Dr. Stan and Iyanla arrive and the women gather outside by the pool for Lisa's graduation. Iyanla gives each woman a candle and tells them to light it, float it in the pool, and express a hope for Lisa's future. Jodi places her candle in the water and says her hope for Lisa is that she takes in all the love around her and that she always loves herself. Christie hope is for Lisa to continue to take risks in her life. Bethany hopes Lisa continues to laugh and love life.
Everybody take a seat and Iyanla announces Lisa as she comes down the stairs. Everybody stands up and cheers. She is wearing a very beautiful orange dress and has a very pretty new hairstyle. In the confessional, Christie says Lisa looks sexy and appears 20 years younger. Lisa takes her seat and Iyanla goes to the podium.
Iyanla says she has a surprise for Lisa and she brings out Lisa's daughter, Stefanie. Lisa is overwhelmed with happiness to see her daughter and they hug. Stefanie takes a seat beside Lisa.
Iyanla says Lisa's goal was to Rebuild The Ruins Of Her Life. She says when Lisa first arrived at the house the goal seemed almost impossible to achieve. She says she asked Lisa whether she wanted to stay the same, fix a few things in her life, or completely revolutionize her life. Lisa told her she wanted to revolutionize it because she didn't know how to fix it. Iyanla talks about when Lisa told her story for the first time, and they flashback to when Lisa talked about her husband, Tony, having an affair. Iyanla says Lisa was very sad, but didn't recognize her own contribution to her misery. Iyanla says one thing about a revolution is that it starts with a conflict. She says Lisa had a lot of inner conflict and mentions the exercise Lisa had in the "swamp of misery." They flashback to that exercise. Iyanla says another fact about revolution is that people are unhappy with conditions, which is what leads to it. She says Lisa was very unhappy about many of the conditions in her life. She says Lisa didn't realize that it was because she had not decided to make new choices in her life. They flashback to the exercise in which Lisa had to ask others what clothes she should wear and then had to wear that outfit for several days.
Iyanla says Lisa's next step was to face her favorite word, which was "embarrassing." She says Lisa was always worried about embarrassing herself. Iyanla says she gave Lisa an opportunity to really embarrass herself with the "queen of the world" exercise, in which Lisa had to should that she was the queen of the world to strangers on the street. They flashback to that exercise. Iyanla says as the days went on, she started seeing another Lisa. She says this Lisa had to deal with confrontation, which is also an aspect of any revolution. Iyanla says Lisa had to confront her own demons. They flashback to the exercise in which Lisa had to hold up pails of paint that represented things in her life with which she was unhappy. Iyanla says with that exercise, Lisa learned to let go and Lisa told her she felt that a weight had been lifted.
Iyanla continues and says that Lisa next had to tell her story. They flashback to the "enchanted forest" exercise. Iyanla says all the while Lisa was telling her story; she had been casting herself as the victim. She says that with the enchanted forest exercise, Lisa realized that she was the director, producer, star ad understudy in the "nightmare of her life." She says after that realization they took things in another direction. They flashback to when Lisa washed her hands in the "potion" in order ot symbolize healing. Iyanla then talks about how Lisa took her fairy tale story and turned it into a letter that she then sent out to all the people in her life whom she had "victimized."
Iyanla says that even that was not enough, however, and Lisa then had to find her passion. They flashback to when Lisa took the flamenco dancing lesson. Iyanla says that now that Lisa's heart had opened up, some rage and emotional energy had to be released. They flashback to when Lisa stomped on the dirt of a potted plant that Iyanla had thrown to the ground. Iyanla says Lisa really stomped out some of her anger that day and afterwards, Lisa was willing to create something new so it was then time for the "big plunge." They flashback to when Lisa faced her fear of water and jumped in the pool. Iyanla says Lisa jumped "fully clothed into the river of life."
Iyanla says her hope for Lisa is that she always remembers she is the queen of the world. She tells Lisa that she gets to sit on the throne and call forth whatever it is she desires to experience. She tells Lisa congratulations and they hug.
Rhonda comes up to the podium next. She says her fondest memory of Lisa is the way Lisa always expressed herself in group by telling a story first. She says after Lisa would tell the story, she would then tell the truth. She says she knew Lisa was ready to graduate when she started off not with a story, but with the truth. Rhonda's hope for Lisa is that she surrounds herself with truth-sayers who care more about the truth than stories. Rhonda hugs Lisa.
Stan is next to the podium. He says it is stunning what Lisa has accomplished in such a short period of time. He says many women get married at 18-20 years old and stop growing. He says that Lisa has had 30 years of maturation while in the house. He says it was amazing when Lisa came to the realization that maybe she was sad because of her own actions. They flashback to a conversation Lisa had with her husband, Tony, in which she tells him she wants to work on the marriage. Stan says it was by letting go of the perfect romantic ideal that Lisa began the process of creating a happy healthy marriage. His hope for Lisa is that she continues to grow and develop at such an incredible pace. Stan congratulates Lisa and takes his seat.
Bethany goes to the podium and says she appreciates Lisa's positivity and laughter. She says her hope for Lisa is that she faces any obstacles in her life with that same positivity and joy.
Kim goes to the podium next and says her wish for Lisa is that she continues to grow and evolve and be adventurous in her life.
Jodi is next to the podium. She is emotional and says it is a hard day for her. She says as soon as she walked into the house Lisa embraced her and she felt an immediate connection. She says Lisa has been her rock, her soft place, and her laughter. She says Lisa has set an example for her and she wants to make Lisa proud of her.
In the confessional, Lisa says she really has made an impact on the women in the house. She says she has never let herself do that before. She says that they have developed a very tight-knit family and it will be difficult to leave them.
Christie goes to the podium and says she is going to miss Lisa very much. She says they have a lot in common in that they are both afraid of embarrassing themselves and were therefore afraid to take risks. She talks about how they tried new things together and they flashback to the time Lisa and Christie took a pole dancing lesson together. Christie says her hope for Lisa is that she do fun things and not be afraid. She tells her to be fearless and says she loves her.
Kelly is next up to the podium and she is also very emotional. She says the biggest impact Lisa had on her was when Lisa had to take swimming lessons and she didn't want to do it. She says she watched Lisa in the pool from the upstairs window and cried to see her do it. She says she will deeply miss Lisa and thanks her for teaching her not to run away. She says if it wasn't for Lisa, she may have run away and wouldn't be here to see Lisa graduate today.
Lisa's daughter, Stefanie, goes to the podium next. She says the SO house is an amazing place. She says she is very excited for her mom and that she deserves to always hear the truth. She says she will keep her promise of always telling her mom the truth. She tells Lisa that she loves her very much and is very excited for her. In the confessional, Stefanie says her mom was a lonely shell of a person before she came to the house. She says she now sees a huge positive change in her mom.
Iyanla and Lisa go up to the podium together and Iyanla asks Lisa if she is ready. Lisa says she is. Iyanla says to repeat after her the announcement of her revolution. She says wants Lisa makes the announcement she can never go back to the old Lisa.
Lisa repeats after Iyanla the following announcement (ED: paraphrased): I, Lisa, am stepping forward with courageousness and a clear vision. I will take risks, seeks support and be willing to share. I have started over!
Everybody claps and cheers for Lisa. Rhonda then goes up to the podium and tells Lisa that they are giving her and her husband ten sessions with a marriage counselor. They are also giving Lisa and Tony a three night stay at the Gold Lake Resort in Colorado. Iyanla then presents Lisa with her Starting Over Trophy, which reads, "Revolutionary Woman."
Lisa then makes her speech. She tells Iyanla she loves her very much and that she feels she has been given such a wonderful opportunity in being able to get to know her. She says Iyanla initially intimidated her and she wondered what she had "gotten herself into" by coming to the house. She says she thought everybody would feel sorry for her once they heard her story, but of course she was wrong about that! She says she realized that Iyanla wasn't going to sympathize with her, and that she made such an incredible impact on her life by not doing that. Lisa says Rhonda opened up her eyes and she helped her to see that she had to give it all she had. She says she fell in love with Stan the first time she met him. She says Stan also opened up her eyes and helped her to stop blaming everyone else in her life for her problems.
Lisa then moves on to her housemates. She says to Kim that she loves her very much and that they have shared a lot of laughter and tears together. She says Bethany's story tore her apart and made her realize that life is short and that she should live for the moment. She thanks Bethany for sharing her story with her. Lisa says she and Jodi shared a lot together and she loves her very much. She tells her she will definitely come back for her graduation. She says Christie is very beautiful and that Christie taught her about compassion. She says she and Kelly have a lot in common with their love of their families. She says Kelly's love for her husband made her realize she could also love Tony. Lisa tells Stefanie that she is ready to be her parent and that she was a child for too long. She says she will share with Stefanie all the tools she had gained in the house.
Iyanla then comes up to the podium and says she has a final surprise for Lisa. Lisa turns around to find Clarita, her flamenco dance instructor. Clarita gives her a gift bag, which has inside a flamenco dancing 101 kit. Then Lisa and Clarita dance together. In the confessional, Lisa says she was a lost soul before coming to the house. She says she is now full of joy and life. All the women get up and join Clarita and Lisa in a dance. Then they all hug each other.
Everybody else has now gone into the house and Lisa and Iyanla are out by the pool together. Iyanla gives Lisa a candle and tells her to light it and reflect on her hopes for herself. She leaves Lisa alone by the pool. Lisa floats her candle in the pool and says in the confessional that she wishes for herself that she never forgets the experiences she has had and the tools she has acquired in the house. She says she loves this place and a part of her will be left behind at the house.
The women are gathered outside the front door to say goodbye to Lisa. They all hug her and Jodi and Kelly are crying. Lisa and her daughter and grandson, Toby, leave in the limo together. In her last confessional, Lisa says she is ready to go home and be with her family.
After Lisa leaves, the women gather in the kitchen. Christie tells Kim that every time she sees her now, she thinks about Kim's beauty. She says Kim is "rocking hot." Kim is flattered and thanks her. In the confessional, Christie says she has seen big changes in Kim. She says Kim has been present and hasn't held any grudges.
Later in the evening, Bethany is in her room getting ready for bed. In the confessional, she says she misses home and feels vulnerable. She says, however, that if she can be vulnerable and weak, it will allow her to be strong again. In the confessional, Jodi says Bethany's loss is very fresh and raw. She worries about whether the SO house is the right place for Bethany at this time.
Preview: Bethany continues to struggle in the house. And she may not be able to find a reason to stay. Christie takes a shot at her dream of modeling.
Monday, April 10, 2006
Lisa Prepares To Graduate and Bethany Finds She Is Not Alone
The show starts with Lisa talking about how excited she is about graduating. Christie tells Lisa she will miss her because Lisa always made time for her and was always present when she talked to her. Lisa says she has never had friends like she has made in the house and that it will be very hard to leave. In the confessional, Kelly is crying and she says she doesn't want Lisa to leave because she doesn't know whether any of the other women like her.
Bethany calls her boyfriend, Jeff. Jeff tells her he is lost without her and hasn't slept in their bed since she left. He says he has been sleeping on the couch. She tells him she misses him and wants to see him. In the confessional, Bethany says she is emotionally drained and that being in the house is going to be a long road.
The women gather for group and Iyanla arrives. Jodi is crying and Iyanla asks her what is wrong. She says she is scared because Lisa is leaving and she is staying. In the confessional, Iyanla says Jodi was rattled after last night's board of review and her mask is cracking. Iyanla sits beside Jodi and hugs her. She tells Jodi that she has "hit the wall" and has reached the edge of all she knows. She says Jodi now has to trust. She tells Jodi that her mask is cracking.
Iyanla sits back down and calls Lisa up to sit next to her. Lisa says she can't believe she is graduating. She says the person she was before could not accomplish anything. Then Iyanla opens the plasma and reveals Lisa new self-portrait. She says she had all these fears which were really just thoughts that were building up in her head. Now she says she feels free of them and is relaxed. Iyanla then brings in Andy Paige for Lisa's graduation makeover. Andy says she wants Lisa's husband to see a whole new person when she gets back home. In the confessional, Lisa says she is different now and isn't her old self anymore. Andy says she has a vision of Lisa as completely different. She and Lisa leave group to start the makeover. Group is adjourned, but Iyanla asks Jodi to stay behind to talk with her.
Jodi tells Iyanla she is scared of the unknown. Iyanla says that the "C" Jodi received stands for commitment, change and choice. Jodi says the "C" doesn't bother her as much as coming to the realization that she was still holding onto her mask. She says holding onto it was not a conscious choice. Iyanla agrees that it wasn't, but says that Jodi can now choose to let it go. She also tells Jodi that when she needs help to ask for it. Then she has Jodi stand up and tells her to "surrender." She says she is going to hug her and tells Jodi not to hug her back, but to just surrender. Iyanla hugs Jodi and Jodi receives the hug and cries. Then Iyanla tells her to hug her back. In the confessional, Jodi says it is scary to feel weak and vulnerable.
Kim is in the kitchen talking to Kelly. She tells her that everybody in her life drinks. She says she wants her husband to go on the journey of not drinking anymore with her, and if he doesn't, she's going to have to decide what to do next.
In the confessional, Rhonda says Kim is deluded if she thinks she is going to deflect all her problems with alcohol onto her husband. Rhonda and Kim meet and Rhonda asks Kim if she thinks she has a problem with alcohol. Kim says she doesn't think so because she never used alcohol to stuff her feelings. In the confessional, Kim says she thinks she is an enabler to her husband's drinking problems and she needs help. She tells Rhonda she wants to remove all traces of alcohol from their house when she gets back. She says when she calls her husband she can tell by his speech pattern that he is drunk and with a couple of more drinks, would probably be passed out. She says she is scared for the safety of their son, Jax. In the confessional, Kim says it is critical that they get alcohol out of their lives. She says the next time Jeff gets drunk, she and Jax are "out of there."
Rhonda tells Kim that she needs to have a "sober to sober" conversation with Jeff. She says to tell him what she wants (no alcohol in her life), and then let him make the decision about what he wants to do because it is his choice whether or not to continue drinking. Then Rhonda tells Kim she has an exercise for her today. She is to imagine what her "perfect family" would be like. In the confessional, Rhonda says that little does Kim know, her perfect family is going to come to life later in the day.
Andy and Lisa go through Lisa's shoes. In the confessional, Lisa says she is open to anything for the makeover. She and Andy leave to go shopping.
Rhonda meets with Bethany outside at the picnic table. Rhonda asks Bethany how she is doing. Bethany says she is doubtful about being in the house. In the confessional, Rhonda says Bethany "hems and haws" about whether she should leave, but it is only Bethany who knows whether she is ready to be at the house. Rhonda tells Bethany that she is going to help her find out who she is. She says Bethany earned and will always own the title, mother, but she wants to help her discover other aspects of herself. Bethany says she went right from being a "youth" to being a mom. Rhonda writes down Bethany's first step, which is to Explore Bethany Through The Ages. In the confessional, Rhonda says Bethany is afraid to mourn, but that it is essential that she does so. Rhonda writes down Bethany's second step, which is Fully Engage In The Grieving Process. She tells Bethany that she is not being punished for what happen, and she didn't do anything wrong to deserve it. She says that in order to heal, Bethany will have to be authentic and truthful. In the confessional, Rhonda says if Bethany isn't willing to grieve, she will never be set free and she will never experience joy. She tells Bethany that her reason to live the rest of her life can't only be about honoring Shelby. She says she has to have another reason to live and that reason is Bethany. She tells Bethany that they aren't going to list anymore steps for today. Then she tells her that she is going to meet with another mother who lost her child later in the day.
Iyanla meets with Stephanie, Lisa's daughter. Iyanla says Lisa developed a "distorted" relationship with her daughter and Stephanie agrees. Stephanie says she was the mother and Lisa was the daughter. She says it will be difficult because their relationship will be different now and she will have to learn new boundaries.
Andy and Lisa go to 17061 Ventura to shop for an outfit for Lisa's graduation. Andy says Lisa is "adorably petite" and talks about hemlines, etc., for Lisa's body type. Lisa tries on various dresses and then chooses one.
Rhonda arrives at the house with four actors who are to play Kim's mom, aunt, her son Jax and her husband Jeff. In the confessional, Rhonda says they have all been briefed on their roles for today's exercise. She leaves Kim with her "family" to have the perfect day.
Iyanla and Stephanie continue their conversation. Iyanla tells Stephanie that she will be meeting a new person tonight. Stephanie says she is excited to see her "new" mom. Iyanla tells Stephanie to prepare a speech for tonight's graduation because they are going to ask her to speak.
Susan Whitmore arrives to meet with Bethany. Susan has also lost a child, and as soon as Bethany opens the door they hug each other. Bethany says she immediately felt a connection with Susan because they had experienced the same loss. They go outside to talk. Bethany tells Susan about the accident. Bethany says it feels impossible to go forward. Susan tells her that it feels impossible, but it isn't. Then Susan tells her that she lost her daughter to a rare sinus cancer that was misdiagnosed for several months. Susan says another parent who had lost a child told her that she would never get over the loss. Susan says that it was freeing to hear that because she could stop trying to get over the worst loss that a person could ever experience. Then she asks Bethany if there is anything she wants to know. Bethany asks her if it ever gets easier and if the sickness lessens over time. Susan says it does and tells her the biggest help is to have someone else to talk with who has also experienced the loss but is further long in the grief process. She says that will give Bethany hope and let her see she is not alone. In the confessional, Susan says she and Bethany have a lot in common because they both lost their only child. Susan tells Bethany it is a lifelong journey dealing with this loss. She says it does get better. Bethany asks her if she will ever be able to have pleasure without guilt, and Susan says she will, a little at a time.
Kim spends time with her “family." They go into the kitchen together and have juice and toast each other.
Andy and Lisa arrive at Juan Juan Salon. Andy says Lisa is going to have a "revolutionary makeover" to reflect all the changes she has made in her life.
Bethany and Susan go inside and Bethany shows Susan photos of Shelby. In the confessional, Bethany says it feels good to share her precious 6 years she had with her daughter, even if it is only through pictures.
Lisa gets her hair cut and colored as Andy watches. In the confessional, Lisa says she has always had the same hairstyle and same look. She says she is excited about the change and feels open and adventurous.
Kim is outside at the tennis court with her "family." The boy playing Jax is skateboarding and Kim and her are watching and joining in with "Jax." Then Rhonda arrives and tells them she now wants to meet with Kim and Kim's "family" says goodbye. Kim and Rhonda discuss Kim's day. Kim says it went great. Rhonda says Kim is learning to "let it be." She says Kim needs to see that everybody may not be exactly as she would like them to be. In the confessional, Rhonda says Kim's desire for perfection is stopping her from fully feeling love. Rhonda tells Kim that some people have just a little love to offer, and some have a lot. She says whatever they have, it should be "enough" for Kim. She says that in order for it to be enough, Kim has to have forgiveness. She tells Kim they are going to work on forgiveness person by person and tells Kim that when she has achieved forgiveness for her each person in her life, she will have freedom. In the confessional, Kim says she is learning that love comes in different ways and she has to accept it as it is.
Lisa is back home after her makeover today. In the confessional, she says she has a real sense of accomplishment and has never before seen something all the way through to the end.
Preview: Lisa's incredible transformation is revealed and everyone joins in for the celebration. And the women prepare for life without one of their friends.
Sunday, April 09, 2006
This Week On Starting Over
Here are previews for this week courtesy of my local affiliate:
Monday: Kim denies she has a drinking problem despite her housemates claims to the contrary; Lisa A. gets a makeover for her graduation; and Bethany makes her homesickness known, but Rhonda introduces her to a woman who understands her grief.
Tuesday: The housemates gush over Lisa A.'s appearance and share their favorite stories at her graduation ceremony, which is attended by her daughter. Also: Bethany reiterates her homesickness.
Wednesday: Christie feels uncomfortable modeling for a photo shoot; Bethany's desire to leave the house is the topic of the group's discussion with Dr. Katz; and the housemates comment on Jodi's mask.
Thursday: Rhonda holds a group discussion of addiction; Kim talks to a doctor about her family's problems with alcoholism; and Kelley complains to her husband about Jodi after getting into a fight with her over bacon.
Friday: The new roommate, Niambi, arrives and talks about her problems with intimate relationships; Bethany is delighted to have her sister, Sara, join her, and later gives dance lessons to the other housemates.
Friday, April 07, 2006
Board Of Review And Someone Is Going To Graduate
The show begins with the women gathering for the board of review. They all seem to be in a really good mood and are talking and laughing. Jodi thinks she has done the work and should get an "A" if she is called up. In the confessional, Kelly says Jodi is "running the show" and only does things on her terms. Iyanla and Rhonda arrive and the BoR begins.
Iyanla calls Jodi up for review. Jodi states her goal, which is Filling the Empty Cup. Iyanla asks Jodi how the cup "got empty." Jodi says she didn't have success in her personal life and that she was in denial about it. She also says she is a very intellectual person and she had a disconnect between her heart and her head. She says she has that connection now, but sometimes she still catches herself thinking and not feeling. Iyanla asks her what she needs to work on. Jodi says she needs to remove more layers of the mask. She starts crying and says she has been wearing the mask since she was 6 years old and it's hard and scary to feel vulnerable to "who I am underneath the mask." In the confessional, Christie says she feels very compassionate towards Jodi and can relate to what she is going through.
Jodi says she also holds herself back and doesn't commit completely so that she will have "wiggle room." Iyanla says that Jodi has chosen to keep the mask she had made (of the mold of her face). Iyanla says she asked Jodi what she wanted to do with that mask and although Jodi could have said she wanted to smash it, etc., she chose to keep it. Jodi is very emotional and says she is still choosing to hold onto her mask because she doesn't know who she is without it.
Rhonda asks Jodi what she is not doing that is holding her back. Jodi says she is holding onto what the mask represents. She then asks Jodi what grade she would give herself. Jodi says she would give herself a "B." Iyanla then asks the women to name one good change they have seen in Jodi. Kim says Jodi hasn't been as hard on herself regarding her weight issue. Christie says she saw a big change after Jodi accepted her dad. Then Iyanla asks the women about one thing they think Jodi needs to work on. Lisa says Jodi needs to "let it go." Kim says Jodi needs to see that "weak is beautiful."
Iyanla then asks Jodi why she is here. Jodi says she came to the house to learn about herself because she was lost. Iyanla asks her what would happen if she took off the mask. Jodi says she would be vulnerable and would ultimately have freedom. Iyanla asks her what she is not doing well. Jodi says she is not being as vulnerable as she needs to be. Iyanla says that as long as Jodi is wearing the mask she will lie, hide and avoid. She says she is looking for honesty from Jodi. She says from what she has seen, Jodi is at the house because she is overweight and doesn't like the way she looks and feels. She says Jodi feels empty, worthless and needs validation. She asks Jodi again why she is at the house. Jodi is crying and says she needs help. She says, "help me." She says she doesn't know how to do it alone.
Iyanla says now they are getting somewhere. She says Jodi has to get humble. She says Jodi has created a fiction about her own life and it is easier to live in that fiction and stay the way she is. She tells Jodi that part of her doesn't want to be helped. Jodi again says, "help me." Iyanla says she is going to help her and she gives her a "C." In the confessional, Kelly says Jodi is in shock over getting a "C" and is ready to run. Iyanla says she gave her that grade because anything else would have fed Jodi's ego. Iyanla then says, "you've just been helped." Jodi takes her seat.
Rhonda then calls Christie up for review. Christie states her goal, which is Learn To Love Myself. Rhonda asks her what she is doing well. Christie says a week ago she could have told her, but now she thinks she is still defining herself by how she looks on the outside. She says the visit to the plastic surgeon fed her addiction. She says she is scared to go home now.
Iyanla asks Christie what she is doing well. Christie says she is letting go of anger and is gaining compassion. Rhonda asks her what she needs to work on. Christie says she needs to work on her body image issues and needing validation from others. Iyanla asks her what she is not doing. Christie says she is afraid she won't have confidence when she goes back home. She fears she will end up in a relationship just because she doesn't want to be alone. Iyanla says Christie needs to make the decision now whether or not she will be tempted in that way. Christie says she will be tempted, but won't do it.
Rhonda then asks Christie what grade she would give herself. Christie says she would give herself an "A" because she is really trying hard and is being vulnerable. She says she is changing and is becoming a new person. Iyanla asks the women about one good change they've seen in Christie. Bethany says Christie can step back and look at herself, when she may not have been able to do that before. Kim says Christie is a lot different since her meeting with her mom and has compassion now. She says Christie has a “new spirit." Jodi says Christie has compassion for herself and is kind to herself now. Lisa says Christie has changed and is "nothing but love" now.
Rhonda says she is going to trigger Christie like she has never been triggered before so that when she goes home she won't be tempted to return to her old ways. Then she gives Christie an "A" and tells her to enjoy it while she can.
Rhonda says that they have an issue to discuss. She says Christie brought up the "indulgences" that went on the night before with the drinking. Jodi says it is the first time they did that. Iyanla says they should just put the issue on the table now. She asks why they want to bring alcohol into a place of healing and growth. Rhonda says if she had this opportunity, she would want to be awake throughout it. Lisa says she is ashamed of what they did the night before. Kim says she acknowledges that she made a mistake, but that the mistake reminds her of the changes she needs to make at home with her husband.
Kelly says Kim really likes to drink. She says she has observed Kim drinking on an everyday basis and has also observed her hiding her drinking by putting alcohol in plastic cups. Kim says she was trying to be respectful towards Christie and that she wasn't hiding it. She says she likes the taste of alcohol. Lisa says she has observed Kim having wine before dinner and also having a beer when they go out to eat. Jodi says she has also seen Kim putting the alcohol in plastic cups instead of clear ones in order to hide it. Rhonda asks Kim if she thinks she has a problem with alcohol. Kim says she enjoys drinking, but doesn't think she has a problem. Christie says that Kim can't help her husband with his drinking if she is drinking.
Iyanla asks them about the commitment they all made to Christie. Jodi says they committed to supporting her in not drinking. Rhonda says that it wasn't supportive of Christie for Kim to go in her room "drunk as a skunk" and wake her up. Iyanla asks if anyone confronted Kim about her drinking and they all say they didn't. Iyanla then tells them that they are to remove all alcohol from the house by midnight tonight.
Iyanla then calls Lisa up for a review. Lisa states her goal, which is Rebuilding the Ruins of My Life. Rhonda asks Lisa what she is doing well. Lisa says she is accepting herself, has stopped fighting against herself and has taken risks. Iyanla asks about the risks Lisa has taken. Lisa says telling her story was a big risk. She says she never told anyone her story; she says she hid it from even her family. She says when she came to the house she wanted them to feel sorry for her. She says she wanted them to pat her on the back. She says instead she discovered she was a liar and she had been pretending all her life. She is happy that she discovered that about herself so she no longer had to live a lie.
Iyanla then asks Lisa to repeat after her and says "I ruined my sense of self." Lisa repeats her and Iyanla continues with "I ruined my sense of worth and value." This continues on and Lisa keeps repeating after Iyanla. Iyanla has her repeat, "I have created a clear vision of myself," and I am ready willing able to stand up for myself," and finally "I am ready willing and able to graduate." Lisa is shocked and starts crying when she hears she is graduating. All the women cheer for her. Iyanla tells Lisa it is time for her to take the blueprint she has created in the house and use it to rebuild her life at home. Lisa tells Iyanla she loves her because she made her see. The BoR is over and Iyanla and Lisa hug each other.
In the confessional, Lisa says it is going to be very hard to say goodbye to everyone, but especially Iyanla. She says she is very grateful to her. The women all hug Lisa. Lisa is crying. She says she doesn't want to leave them, but she knows she is ready. In the confessional, Christie says she is happy about her "A", but she knows Jodi is upset over getting a "C" and she also finds it unbearable that Lisa is leaving.
Lisa tells Jodi to let go of her mask. She says to just "throw it away." In the confessional, Lisa says she hopes Jodi will be more open to Iyanla's help. She says she thinks Jodi is embarrassed about getting the "C."
The women gather up all the alcohol and dump it out. In the confessional, Kim says she is taking ownership for what she did last night, but she is not going to beat herself up about it. She says she has no problem with throwing out the alcohol. In the confessional, Christie says she is glad the alcohol is gone.
Lisa calls her daughter, Stephanie, and tells her she is graduating. She tells her it will be hard to leave everybody in the house because she has gotten so used to them, but she is excited to use the tools she has acquired at home. In the confessional, Lisa says her children are going to be proud of her when they see all her new skills. She thinks they are really going to appreciate all the work she did.
Kelly is talking to Jodi in the kitchen. Kelly says that the BoR was the first time Jodi got her "cage rattled" and now she wants to leave. She says it was the first time all her housemates her involved in her process. In the confessional, Kelly says Jodi can dish it out but she can't take it. In the confessional, Jodi says she feels attacked. Jodi tells Kelly that she just never thought it would be this hard. Jodi walks out and Kelly says Jodi just got her ego hurt.
Kim talks to Christie about the drinking of the night before. She says that they were celebrating and weren't numbing out. She says her husband is not like that, however. She says she can just have a glass of wine and be done for the evening, but her husband keeps drinking. Then she says she might have a problem, but she doesn't think she does.
Later Kim helps Lisa with the shield she is making. Christie is there talking with them. In the confessional, Christie says all the women are trying to spend the last moments with Lisa before she leaves, with the exception of Jodi.
Jodi is sitting outside alone smoking a cigarette. In the confessional, she says she thougth she had surrendered to the process and never thought the BoR would go that way.
Meanwhile, Lisa tells Christie that she has been babying Jodi. She says Jodi only wants to hear positive feedback, and that's all Christie gives her. In the confessional, Christie says she doesn't feel like she's been babying Jodi, but she hopes she is doing right by her because she cares a great deal about her.
Later Jodi is lying in bed and Christie goes to talk with her. In the confessional, Christie says Jodi's mask is cracking and that it's "awesome." Jodi tells Christie she didn't think she was holding onto the mask. In the confessional, Jodi says she feels exposed and is hanging on only by a thread. She doesn't know if she has it in her to do what needs to be done in the house. Christie gets in bed with Jodi and comforts her. She tells Jodi to just let the mask go and asks her what she has to lose. Jodi says she could lose herself.
Preview for next week: Jodi can't let go. Bethany still isn't sure she will stay in the house. Kim confronts a serious problem. Christie takes a shot at her dream.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Broken Commitments
The show starts with the women (except Kim and Christie) in the kitchen laughing about last night and Kim's drunken antics. In the confessional, Jodi says they were all doing a lot of "hooting and hollering" and had a good time. In the confessional, Lisa says they did have fun, but she now thinks Kim was out of control. In the confessional, Kim says they enjoyed themselves last night, but she is feeling a little tired today.
Christie received a letter from Rhonda telling her she is to meet with a plastic surgeon today. In the confessional, she says the women stayed up late and partied, and she feels they broke their commitment to her.
Kim goes into the kitchen and they all continue laughing about last night. Kim says she doesn't remember a lot of things that happened. In the confessional, Lisa says she didn't realize Kim had been blacking out. In the confessional, Kim says she partied the hardest and that the women kept giving her more drinks because they enjoyed her making them laugh.
Christie arrives at the plastic surgeon's office. She says she is interested to see what the surgeon can do about the scar on her left arm.
Jodi is working on an ongoing assignment Iyanla has given her. She is supposed to write a love letter to herself every day. She says she is supposed to have today's love letter finished by 3PM because Iyanla wants to go over it with her.
Christie meets with the plastic surgeon. She takes off her clothes and is in her bra/panties. In the confessional, she says she normally would wear a sports bra and shorts, but she wants the surgeon to see exactly how she looks. The surgeon tells Christie that they are several options for fixing the scar on her arm. She talks about scar modification and about tissue expanders to grow new skin that would cover the scar. In the confessional, Christie says she is encouraged that they are options for fixing the scar, but she is also confused because she has been starting to accept her body the way it is. She has mixed emotions now.
Iyanla arrives and tells Lisa to go get her miniature landscape that she made in an earlier exercise. They go outside to look it over. Iyanla asks Lisa how this landscape has changed. Lisa says her depression is gone, she is no longer withholding her feelings and she is not revengeful anymore. Lisa says she respects her feelings now and has let herself see the hidden things that were "dwelling within." Iyanla says Lisa has grown and now needs a new landscape in order to "anchor" the new energy. She tells Lisa to spend some time making a new landscape and label her new commitments to herself. She says she will be back later to check on her.
Christie has returned from the plastic surgeon and the women all gather for group. Rhonda arrives and says today's topic is self-acceptance. She asks the women about their levels of self-acceptance. Christie says she got in her bra and panties today at the plastic surgeon's office. She says she would have never done that before today. Then Christie brings up the drinking episode from last night. She says the women were getting drunk and being loud. In the confessional, she says she is "pissed off" because she feels the women were being too loud and not honoring her. Rhonda asks if Christie was okay with the other women getting drunk. Christie says she is okay with it as long as they are respectful of her. In the confessional, Kim says she sees last night as celebratory. She says they weren't getting drunk in order to "numb out."
Jodi then says she is at the beginning stages of accepting her body. She says she has seen some changes in her body since she has been working out. Bethany says that before she lost Shelby, most of her focus was on the external and on how she looked. Now she says that is unimportant to her. Rhonda asks her what she is not accepting about herself. Bethany says she hasn't been accepting of how "stagnant" she has become. She says other people have told her to get up and get active, and she felt like telling them to "kiss my ass" because they don't know what she is going through.
Kelly says she is now coming to an acceptance about the mother she has been to her sons. She says she wasn't perfect, but it was enough. She starts crying and says she doesn't accept that she can't go back in time to when her son was 6 years old. She says she wishes she could have come to the SO house back then and learned about how quickly her kids would grow up. She says she is now the mom of two men. In the confessional, Rhonda says she is very proud of Kelly's progress. She says she has something planned to test her growth. Then Rhonda announces that there will be a board of review tonight. The women look anxious. Group is adjourned.
The women are in the kitchen talking about the upcoming BoR. Kelly says she is freaking out. In the confessional, Jodi says she is prepared for the BoR because she has done her work.
Lisa works on creating her new landscape. In the confessional, she says she can now speak out and can give/receive love. She says it feels good to create this new landscape.
Christie and Jodi are sitting on the couch, and Jodi is holding Christie. Christie seems upset. Jodi says it was good that Christie found out about her options regarding plastic surgery, but that doesn't mean she has to get it. Then Jodi tells Christie she is sorry for last night. Jodi says Kim scared her because she doesn't think Kim knows when to stop. Christie says the situation brought her to a place "she didn't like."
Iyanla arrives and in the confessional she says she finds it interesting that Jodi is helping Christie when she should be working on her own assignment. Jodi and Iyanla go outside to talk. Iyanla asks Jodi when the letter to herself was supposed to be completed. Jodi says it was supposed to be done by 3PM (ED: it is 3:20PM now). Iyanla asks her why it isn't done, and Jodi says she got "confused." Iyanla says she didn't get confused; she just broke her commitment. Jodi concedes that she did break the commitment. She says she didn't realize she had a problem in this area, but now she realizes she does. Iyanla asks her on a scale of 1-5 how well she honors her commitments--5 being the best. Jodi says she is a 5 when it comes to work, a 2 or 3 when it comes to honoring her commitments to others outside of work, and a 1 when it comes to honoring commitments to herself. Iyanla tells her that broken commitments lessens your self-worth. She then tells Jodi to follow her for an exercise.
Lisa and Kelly discuss who will be going up for the BoR. Kelly thinks Lisa might be graduating, but Lisa disagrees. Kelly thinks she hasn't been there long enough for it to be her.
Iyanla and Jodi are at the tennis court and Iyanla has set up a toy basketball hoop. She tells Jodi to stand at a certain distance and gives her 5 minutes to make 50 baskets. Jodi tries to make the baskets, but misses a lot of them from the distance at which she is standing. After the 5 minutes is up, Iyanla asks Jodi if she knew before she started that she couldn't make the 50 baskets from that distance. Jodi says she did know. Iyanla tells her she went forward without clarifying or renegotiating a commitment she knew she couldn't complete. Jodi says she can't do anything when she makes "half-assed" commitments. Iyanla says Jodi is afraid of commitments that she can't control. She says that is why Jodi hasn't gotten married, had a kid, etc. She says Jodi has "hundreds and hundreds" of broken commitments in her past.
Christie talks to Kelly about Kim. She says she is not ready to go to the BoR this week and that she is just "not feeling it" because of Kim and Kim's issues with her husband.
Iyanla and Jodi sit outside and Iyanla brings out a scroll. She says Jodi has to clear up her broken commitments and broken dreams. She wants Jodi to write down on the scroll all her broken commitments/dreams. She says Jodi has to identify and accept all the broken commitments she has in her past. In the confessional, Jodi says she realizes now all the dreams on which she hasn't followed though. She says she has broken her word to herself. Jodi starts crying and tells Iyanla she is scared to take off the mask she has been wearing all her life. She says she is afraid because she doesn't know what's underneath that mask. Iyanla says she doesn't know what's underneath it either, but Jodi should trust that it will be enough to sustain her, no matter what it is.
Christie and Rhonda meet outside. In the confessional, Rhonda says she is scared for Christie because she thinks she is still in a vicious cycle of plastic surgery. Rhonda tells Christie that getting plastic surgery on her arm serves no mechanical purpose; it would be purely cosmetic. Christie agrees and says she is willing to put thoughts of plastic surgery aside. Rhonda says Christie originally came to the SO house because she thought they would help her (pay for her) to get surgery to fix the scar on her arm and that Christie was disappointed when they wouldn't help her in that way. Christie says she was disappointed at first, but now she is grateful.
Iyanla and Lisa meet to go over Lisa's new landscape. Iyanla says this landscape represents a "revolution" for Lisa. She asks Lisa about her allies in this "battle" or revolution. Lisa says her family and friends are her allies. Iyanla says Lisa's housemates are also her allies in this battle. She tells Lisa that when you go into battle, you need a shield. She says in this case, Lisa needs a shield to remind her of what is important and real. Iyanla says Lisa is to take a housemate with her to a craft store and pick out material she needs to create such a shield. Lisa says she knows exactly who she will take with her.
Jodi tells Bethany that she is not very nervous about the BoR. She says she is confident in what she has been doing in the house. She says she just has to explain and justify her hard work and remember to be calm if she gets called up.
Iyanla sees Christie sitting in the living room and she asks her how she is doing. Christie says she is doing okay. Iyanla says Christie is lying and asks her why she lies. Christie says she is confused. Iyanla says confusion is just a way to convince yourself you can do something you can't do. Christie then says the women got drunk last night and didn't honor their commitment to her. She says she is "pissed off" that Kim got sloppy drunk and woke her up. Iyanla says maybe Christie is disappointed instead of "pissed off." Christie says she is disappointed because they had a commitment and all the women signed her commitment poster. Iyanla asks Christie how the women broke their commitment. Christie says Kim woke her up. Iyanla asks if Kim committed to never drinking, and Christie says she didn't. Iyanla asks how Kim broke her commitment and Christie says she doesn't know and that maybe the women didn't break their commitment to her. Iyanla says perhaps Christie was given a divine opportunity to be centered within herself while all that was going on around her. She asks Christie why she can't just be grateful for that. Christie says she is working on it.
Lisa brings Kelly to the art store, Blick Art Supply. The clerk helps Lisa pick out things she needs to make her shield.
Bethany, Christie and Jodi are sitting outside talking. Jodi tells them about the scroll she is working on. She starts crying and gets really choked up as she reads them what she has written on it (about her broken commitments to herself). In the confessional, Jodi says she hasn't followed through wth her commitments and with this new information, she is now afraid of going to the BoR. She talks to Christie and Bethany about the mask she has been wearing since she was 6 years old. She says she is afraid to take it off because of what she might find underneath.
Preview: Don't miss the most intense board of review this season. The entire house must answer the question everybody has been thinking (it's about Kim's drinking). And not everyone will make it through.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Sink or Swim
This evening is the Wednesday 8PM ET chat! If you would like to participate, click on the live chat link (it's right under the FAQ link) in the forum, or click here. As always, you can use any username you like to enter the chat room. Everybody has a good time at these chats and all are welcome.
The show begins with Kelly telling Bethany that Kim is picky about her clothes and doesn't want anyone to put them in the dryer for her. In the confessional, Kelly says she thinks Bethany is courageous, but feels she is not sharing her feelings because she can't. She believes Bethany is putting on a happy face. In the confessional, Bethany says she feels a little uncomfortable in the house and keeps questioning herself as to why she is there. She also says she feels a hint of excitement, however, at being there, and that gives her the determination to stick it out.
Lisa finds a note from Iyanla on the front door. The note says Lisa is going to have swimming lessons today. In the confessional, Iyanla says Lisa is afraid of life, and even though she jumped "into the river of life" she has not yet learned to swim in it. In the confessional, Lisa says she hasn't worn a swimsuit in 15 years and she doesn't feel good about doing it today.
Iyanla arrives and the women gather for group. Today's topic is aging. Iyanla asks the women how they feel about aging. Bethany says she embraces it because she gets more wisdom as she grows older. Kelly says she has seen it as a loss of time. She feels like she has lost something she can never get back. Lisa says she feels like she has wasted a lot of time in the past, but now she doesn't look at her age anymore.
Iyanla then talks about women at different ages. She says women in their 20's are dealing with finding out who they are and are interested in freedom with no limits. In their 30's Iyanla says women are most concerned with security and what they want in life. She says the 40's are the age of purpose and that women are seeking acceptance of themselves. Women in their 50's are the "wise women." They are concerned with what they have to offer the world and forgiveness is a priority. She says women who don't achieve forgiveness by their 50's can become bitter old women.
Iyanla then asks the women if they have a wise older woman in the lives. Bethany says she has her grandmother, who is very wise and gives her good guidance without judgment. Kelly says she doesn't have a wise older woman in her life. Iyanla tells her she should get one. She says men learn from institutions and organizations and women learn from each other, so it's important for every woman to have an older woman in her life. She then tells the women she is giving them an assignment. They are to project what they will look like and be like when they are 70 and write a monologue about who they are at that age. They are also going to go shopping and buy clothes that they would want to wear when they are 70. She says they will all meet later to give their monologues. Group is adjourned.
Rhonda and Bethany meet. In the confessional, Rhonda says she is concerned that Bethany is not ready to be in the house. She says it might be too early in Bethany's grieving process, but she is going to trust that Bethany knows she is ready. Bethany tells Rhonda the first day has been tough for her. She says she has had the realization that she must do this for herself and that makes her feel selfish because her focus was always on Shelby before. Rhonda suggests that maybe Bethany is trying to move on too quickly. Bethany asks Rhonda if she thinks she is in the right place, but Rhonda tells her only Bethany can answer that question.
Lisa and Kelly go to Canyon Beachwear to shop for a swimsuit for Lisa. Lisa tries on swimsuits and finally chooses one she likes. She says she is worried about people looking at her and making judgments about how she looks in it.
Rhonda and Bethany continue their discussion. Rhonda asks Bethany when she feels guilty. Bethany says she feels guilt when she starts enjoying herself, or when she hasn't thought about Shelby. Rhonda asks Bethany what she needs from her and Bethany says she needs support. She says she needs to be guided because she doesn't know what she is doing and is in survival mode. Rhonda hugs her.
Rhonda and Kelly meet. Rhonda says Kelly is missing wise women in her life and she is going to send her to meet with two older women today. She wants Kelly to open with them so they can give her advice. She also wants Kelly to prepare questions she would like to ask them.
The swimming instructor, Robert George, arrives for Lisa's swimming lesson. They go to the pool and get in. Lisa is super uncomfortable and can't relax as Robert tries to teach her how to float. In the confessional, Lisa says she is panicking and tensing up. She says she doesn't know why she is fighting the lesson because she really needs it more than anything.
The women all go to shop for their assignment later this evening to dress up like they are in their 70's. They all seem to have a good time at the thrift store, The Salvation Army. They return to the house with their outfits and all seem to be in a good mood.
Iyanla meets with Lisa to discuss her fears. Iyanla asks Lisa what her fears were today during the swimming lesson and she writes them down as Lisa names them. She was afraid because she couldn't feel the ground beneath her when she was trying to float. She was afraid she wasn't in control and that she wasn't "good enough" to move forward.She was also afraid of feeling exposed in the swimsuit she had to wear. Iyanla writes down all her fears, which total 32. In the confessional, Lisa says she can't believe how fearful she really is. She says her head is full of fears. Iyanla tells Lisa she is afraid because she has yet to accept herself. She tells Lisa to meet her out by the pool.
Bethany is on the phone with her sister, Sara. She tells her sister that she has a headache from crying and purging her feelings. Sara says that's good and reminds Bethany to be open and honest. Bethany says she is open and honest, and Sara says that Bethany tends to pretend that things are okay when they are not.
Kelly goes to a coffee shop and meets with Kay who is 72 and Ruth who is 86. She asks them what they think is the best thing they gave their children. Ruth says it is education and love and understanding. Kay says she gave her children each other (their siblings). She asks them if they married the loves of their lives. Ruth says she did, but Kay says she settled.
Jodi tells Rhonda that she doesn't know how to deal with Bethany saying she wants to leave. She says all the women go through that initially, but it is different with Bethany and she doesn't know what to tell her. Rhonda tells her she has talked to Bethany about it, and that her concerns are valid. In the confessional, Rhonda says she is not sure whether Bethany is ready to be in the house.
Kelly continues her talk with Ruth and Kay. She asks them what they think really matters. Ruth says what matters is that she is happy, well and that her children adore her as much as she adores them. Kay says it's important for her to wake up everyday and have the ability to make the most of that day. Kelly thanks them and they ask if she has learned anything. She talks about not being there enough for her kids, etc. Kay tells Kelly not to beat herself up. She tells her to be happy with who she is.
Iyanla and Lisa are out by the pool. Lisa gets in; Iyanla wants her to show her what she learned today. Lisa tries to swim, but stops short of reaching the other side of the pool. Iyanla then throws beach balls into the pool. Each ball represents Lisa's fears. She throws more and more in and Lisa tries to push them out of her way. In the confessional, Iyanla says fear isn't pretty or merciful. She says it will paralyze you and keep you from living. In the confessional, Lisa says she kept trying to push all the balls out of her way and exhausted herself in the process.
Kelly calls her mom, Phyllis to ask her the same questions she asked Ruth and Kay. Phyllis says the best things she did for her kids was to be there for them. She says she did marry the love of her life (twice!), and she would do it again. She says she regrets having the nervous breakdown. Kelly tells her mom that she felt betrayed by her mom going into the mental hospital. She says because she was so young, she didn't understand and thought her mom should just "snap out of it." Her mom says she can understand that. Kelly says she thought her mom was weak at the time, but now she realizes that her mom was strong for checking herself into the hospital. Phyllis says she had to do it to save her life.
Iyanla and Lisa are still out at the pool. Iyanla tells Lisa that those balls in the pool are just thoughts and she shouldn't let them stop her. In the confessional, Iyanla says Lisa has allowed her fear to dictate and control her life. She says Lisa has wasted a lot of energy fighting those fears. Then Iyanla throws a float into the water and Lisa puts it around her and effortlessly floats in the pool. She says she could stay like that forever. Iyanla says that that is the other side of fear (contentment).
The women get ready for their assignment to dress up like they are in their 70's. They are all laughing and having a good time. Iyanla arrives and they all gather in the living room to read their monologues. Each woman is dressed in clothes they would like to wear when they are older, and each gets up and does a monologue about being 70. Afterwards, Iyanla tells them they did a great job.
Afterwards, the women take off their outfits and sit in the dining room together, drinking. Christie does not want to be involved in the drinking and has gone to bed. Kim is quite "tipsy" and crawls under the dining room table. She is laughing and the other women also seem to be enjoying themselves. Then Kim suggests they all go outside. In the confessional, Christie says she is "pissed." She says she feels they are not honoring her commitment to her and she doesn't think they should be drinking. The women are outside and Kim is making jokes, etc. They are all laughing. In the confessional, Christie says she doesn't want to be a part of it at all. She says Kim came back in the house and had the hiccups and was bumping into things, which woke her up. She says Kim is being "drunk girl." Kim is in the bedroom with Lisa, and falls off the bed. She laughs as she is lying on the floor and Lisa is laughing with her.
Preview: Christie feels completely betrayed. And the women are in for a big surprise (it's a Board of Review). Jodi is terrified of taking her next step.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Bethany's Story
The show starts with Jodi reading a note that tells the women to clean the house for the new housemate who will be arriving in an hour. The women all straighten up as the limo makes its way towards the house. Christie and Kelly think the new woman will be a former graduate, and all the women are speculating about who it will be.
While in the limo, the newest housemate, Bethany, says coming to the house is intimidating and she is worried that the women will feel on edge around her after hearing her story.
Rhonda arrives and meets with Christie about body image. Rhonda says today is a day for Christie to focus on herself. She wants Christie to explore the question of having more plastic surgery. Rhonda says that Christie has been thinking of having more work done and she wants her to meet with two women today who have also had plastic surgery. Christie says she is not as enthusiastic about getting more plastic surgery as she was a month ago. In the confessional, Rhonda says Christie doesn't work on getting fitter or losing weight because she believes in the "magic pill" of plastic surgery to make everything all better. Rhonda tells Christie to write down questions that she wants to ask the two women she will be meeting with today. In the confessional, Christie says she is thinking she will not have any more plastic surgery, but she does sometimes consider getting work done on her arms.
Bethany's limo has pulled up to the house and she says she is anxious to begin her journey of healing and self-discovery. Bethany goes to the front door and all the women greet her. In the confessional, Jodi says Bethany is very dainty and soft-spoken and she has a warm vibe. In the confessional, Bethany says it is comforting to be around the women in the house. She says she is okay with her story, and she hopes they will not feel uncomfortable about it.
Rhonda and Iyanla arrive and the women gather for group. Rhonda greets Bethany and then puts a photo on the plasma of Bethany and her older sister, Sarah, when they were little girls. Bethany says Sarah is her best friend and they have always been very close. Next they show a photo of Bethany graduating from high school. Bethany says after high school she went to a community college and got her degree in elementary education. She then started teaching 2nd grade. The next photo they show is of Bethany when she was 9 months pregnant. She is sitting next to her (now ex) boyfriend, Bryce and was 20 years old at the time. She says the pregnancy was unplanned. After she gave birth, Bryce had an emotional breakdown. They tried to work things out and lived together for a while after the baby was born, but Bryce didn't want to work, etc, and they broke up when the baby was 8 months old. She says Bryce eventually gave up all rights to their daughter.
After Bethany and Bryce broke up, Bethany moved in with her parents for a little while. Next they show a photo of Bethany and her daughter, Shelby, when Shelby was about 13 months old. Then they show two more photos--one of Shelby with Bethany's dad and one with Shelby and Bethany's mom. Bethany says her mom raised her to be strong and to have good morals. She says her mom is everything she wants to be.
Next they show a photo of Bethany and her current boyfriend, Jeff. Then they show a photo of Bethany and Shelby, who is 6 years old. Bethany is crying and she says this photo is the last photo of Shelby. It was taken on June 11th and Shelby died on June 12th; it was only a few months ago. She says her friend, her mom and Shelby were driving home from vacation when an elderly man ran into their car. She says the car did a 180 and flipped over. Bethany's mom and Shelby had been asleep in the backseat, and they were ejected from the car upon impact. Bethany says she started screaming for her daughter and ran over and held her until the paramedics arrived. Shelby did not die instantly and they rushed her to the hospital. At the hospital, Bethany says she knew it was bad because the hospital staff were comforting her and took her into a private room. She called her sister and was on the phone with her when the doctor came in and told her Shelby didn't make it. Bethany says she collapsed and her sister talked to the doctor on the phone.
Rhonda asks about the injuries to the other people in the car. Bethany says she broke her C-7 (a verterbate), her friend broke both femur bones and her mom was seriously injured with concussion and broken ribs. Her mom was in the intensive care for three weeks. All the women are crying as they listen to Bethany's heart-wrenching story.
Bethany says Shelby was her world and she doesn't know what to do without her. She says her drive and determination is all gone now along with Shelby. Rhonda asks her if she is ready to move forward since the tragedy is so fresh. Bethany says she doesn't know. Rhonda asks her if she continued teaching after the accident. Bethany says she went back for three days, but it was too much and she took a leave of absence. Rhonda asks Bethany if she believes she is ready to be in the Starting Over house. Bethany says she thinks she is. In the confessional, Rhonda says it is difficult to imagine what Bethany has been through. She says learning to be around grief will be an important tool for the other women of the house.
Then they reveal Bethany's self-portrait. Bethany says she is wearing pink in the portrait because that's what Bethany was wearing. In the portrait, Bethany has drawn her heart as broken and bleeding. She also has drawn herself with tears streaming down her face. She says she isn't grounded and her heart is broken. She says nothing matters anymore. Rhonda says something does matter because Bethany has gotten herself to the house. She says that something is Bethany. Kim is crying and says that the self-portrait is an open wound. She says there is so much pain in it. She tells Bethany she is glad she is here. Christie says what she is going through is nothing compared to what Bethany is experiencing.
Rhonda tells Bethany she will be her primary coach, Dr. Stan will be there to help and Iyanla will also be there for her anytime she needs her. Then Rhonda reveals Bethany's goal: Rediscover Joy. Rhonda asks Bethany whether she is willing to try and Bethany says she is. She says that she always told Shelby to live life to the fullest and that she was always full of joy. In the confessional, Jodi says Bethany's story really puts things into perspective. She says all these things she has been concerned with are petty and not really worth agonizing over. The women all hug Bethany and group is adjourned.
Christie goes to a coffee shop to meet with the two women who have also had plastic surgery. The two women are Tamara and Cynthia. Tamara says she has had four nose jobs. The first one didn't turn out right and she had to have revisions. Cynthia has has a breast lift and a tummy tuck. She is also considering more surgery. In the confessional, Christie says she had a whole list of procedure she was thinking of getting done and she thought those things would make her happy. She is now beginning to see that isn't true. Cynthia shows photos of herself before/after the surgery. She says she used to weight 270lbs. Tamara shows before/after of her nose jobs. Cynthia says she sees a different person in the mirror than the image she has of herself in her head. Christie also tells the women about her surgeries and the weight loss. She shows them her left arm and says the doctor messed up and took too much skin off that arm.
Bethany and Rhonda meet outside. In the confessional, Rhonda says it will be a real struggle for Bethany to get to her goal of rediscovering joy after what she has experienced with the loss of her daughter. Rhonda asks Bethany where she is in her grieving process. Bethany says every day is different. She says her family talks about Shelby every day. She says they laugh, cry and cuss. She says she has also thrown blame around. Rhonda asks who she has blamed. Bethany says she has thrown blame onto her mom. Rhonda asks if it's because Shelby wasn't wearing a seatbelt (because she was sleeping in the backseat with Bethany's mom). Bethany says that is some if it, but she mostly blamed her mom because the reason they were traveling that day was to pick up her mom. She says she mainly blames the elderly man who ran into them. Rhonda asks if any charges were filed regarding the accident, and Bethany says no. She says rationally she knows it was just an accident, but emotionally it "sucks" that the man wasn't charged.
In the confessional, Rhonda says Bethany is anxious to do her steps to achieve her goal because she thinks the steps will heal her. She tells Bethany that she has decided to wait a couple of days before developing Bethany's steps. She says she wants Bethany to find a safe place at the house where she can go when she feels sad, frustrated, etc. They walk the grounds of the house and Bethany chooses the picnic table as her safe place. In the confessional, Bethany says being at the house will help her to step outside of the box and give her a new perspective. She says she thinks the women will support her and challenge her at the same time.
Christie returns from her meeting with the two women. She tells Jodi and Lisa that she doesn't think she wants anymore surgery, although she is still considering a second opinion regarding her arms.
The doorbell rings and it is Rhonda with food for the women to cook for dinner. She tells them she wants them to have a welcome dinner for Bethany this evening. She tells them to make sure Bethany feels at home.
Bethany is on the phone with her boyfriend, Jeff. Jeff says he has been thinking about Bethany all day and asks her how everything is going. Bethany says everybody is great and very kind. She says Rhonda is very compassionate and wise. In the confessional, Bethany says she wants to live life again. She wants to be happy and successful.
Christie and Rhonda meet to discuss Christie's meeting with Tamara and Cynthia. Christie says both women were beautiful and kind. She says, however, that she could see their obsession with plastic surgery. She tells Rhonda she didn't think either one of them needed more surgery, but that both of them were considering it. She says it helped her realize she doesn't want more surgery and that the body is just a shell. She says the women were beautiful on the inside and it was so wonderful for them to come and share their stories with her. She says that was what was important. She says she felt like she was giving them advice and telling them why they shouldn't get more surgery. Rhonda says when we offer wisdom to others it also anchors our own knowledge. Christie says she knows that her obsession with her body image will just grow if she doesn't stop. She says eventually she will end up getting facial surgery, etc., and it won't stop because it is an addiction. She says she wants to grow old gracefully instead and be okay with that.
The women make dinner and Bethany joins in. In the confessional, Kim says she really wants to welcome Bethany and connect with her, but she also recognizes that Bethany needs some space right now. The women sit at the dinner table and eat. In the confessional, Christie says this dinner was the most beautiful they've had in the house. She says she feels sad for Bethany and wants her to feel welcome and supported.
After dinner, Bethany shows Jodi and Kelly a memorial book she made for her daughter. Kelly comments on how gorgeous Shelby was. In the confessional, Bethany says she hopes to discover a good thing from this loss. She says it will be a critical aspect of rediscovering joy.
Preview: Bethany has second thoughts about staying in the house. Lisa is pushed to the next level. And Kim's drinking raises a red flag.
Monday, April 03, 2006
Lisa N. Graduates
The show begins with the women getting ready for their day. Jodi says she is feeling sick and has a cough. Kelly suggests medicine she should take. The women know a woman will be arriving today and they think it will be Lisa N.
The limo makes its way towards the house and Lisa N. is inside. She says she is calm and excited at the same time to be coming back to the SO house. She arrives and the women all cheerfully hug and greet her.
Rhonda arrives to talk with Lisa N. She tells Lisa that it is day 30 since Lisa left the house. She says Lisa looks good and has to be ready for anything today. She then gives Lisa a piece of paper and tells her to draw a new self-portrait. Lisa goes to complete this final assignment.
Jodi is in the van with Christie and they drive to Griffith Park. They meet with a woman from Curves to do a little exercise in the fresh air. Jodi says she feels sick, but thinks exercising will make her feel better. The three women walk around the park and do lunges, etc. Then Jodi and Christie leave to go back to the house.
The women gather for group with Rhonda. They say they are all excited that Lisa is back in the house. Rhonda says Lisa was a part of the first group of women in the house this year and she had many ups and downs during her time in the house. Rhonda says she finally decided that the best way to decide whether Lisa was ready to graduate was to send her home and see if she would implement the skills she had learned in the house. Rhonda says Lisa had three "backbone" pieces she needed to earn before she could graduate: trust, wisdom and independence. Lisa says she went home and got a job, painted her bedroom and hosted a dinner party. She says she trusts herself now and feels she is at a new beginning in her life.
Rhonda then asks Lisa if she is lying about anything. Lisa looks confused. Rhonda asks her again if there is anything she is not telling her. Lisa says there isn't and she is telling the absolute truth. Rhonda asks Lisa what would happen if she didn't graduate. Lisa says it would hurt her feelings, but she now knows who she is and she would move on. Rhonda then tells Lisa she is graduating. Lisa says it is the best day of her life and all the women clap and cheer for her. Then Rhonda opens the plasma and shows that Lisa has completed all her steps. Next they show Lisa's original self-portrait and then the portrait of herself she drew today. Lisa says she feels grounded now. Rhonda says tonight will be Lisa's graduation. Andy Paige then comes in to take Lisa out for her graduation makeover. Andy says they have a full day ahead of them and she and Lisa leave. Group is adjourned.
Iyanla is in the confessional talking about Jodi. She says she showed Jodi a videotape of when she first came to the house and was telling her story. She says the tape shows how arrogant Jodi can be. She says she saw that arrogance in Jodi again yesterday when they were doing the "electric fence" exercise" and Jodi jumped in to take control. Iyanla and Jodi meet and Iyanla talks to her about her arrogant behavior. Jodi says she knows she is a "leader," but realizes she needs to have boundaries set in place because she too often gets into other people's business instead of taking care of her own.
Iyanla tells Jodi that the best leader is also a great follower. She says there is a distinction between being a leader and just being controlling. She also says Jodi has issues with honoring her commitments. She tells Jodi that she committed herself to releasing weight, but wouldn't commit to how much weight. Jodi says she wanted to hear compliments from Iyanla. She says it was hard seeing herself on the tape the other day (acting arrogantly), and she wanted to hear something good about herself. She says it was shocking to see her own behavior. Iyanla tells her that everyone has a "shadow." She says it is where we put all the things about ourselves that we don't like. She says our shadow becomes apparent under times of stress. She tells Jodi that our shadow is where our power lies because if we are willing to look at it, we can learn about ourselves.
Andy and Lisa N. arrive at a clothing store called Polkadots and Moonbeams. Lisa tries on several different outfits and Andy gives her some pointers.
Mary Donkersloot, Jodi's dietician arrives, to meet with Jodi. Mary asks Jodi how she has been doing with her diet, and Jodi says she's been doing pretty good, but has "cheated" a little here and there. Mary looks over Jodi's food journal and tells Jodi that she can't lose weight by eating large plates of pasta and cookies. Then Jodi gets on the scale and Mary says Jodi is exactly where she was last week. She asks Jodi how she feels about not losing any weight. Jodi says it's hard to separate herself from the women during meals and that they are eating pasta, etc., because they don't need to lose weight. In the confessional, Jodi says she doesn't appreciate the way Mary is talking to her. Mary asks Jodi if she would like to call or email her each night and set up a meal plan for the following day. Jodi says she doesn't want to do that and doesn't need to do that. Mary says she wants to show that the diet Jodi is on is not unpleasant. Jodi says, "that's not reality, Mary." Mary says she senses by Jodi's energy that she is irriated. Jodi tells ehr she has just been having an irritating day, and it isn't related to Mary. Mary leaves.
Lisa N. and Andy are at a hair salon and Lisa is going to get a new cut and color. She says she is not afraid of big changes.
Iyanla and Jodi meet. Jodi tells Iyanla she is disappointed because she gained a pound. Iyanla asks why she gained and Jodi says it's because she "cheated" on her diet all week. Iyanla says children cheat, but grown ups honor their commitments. Iyanla asks Jodi if she has been keeping up with her food diary, and Jodi hesitates and then says, "Not completely." Iyanla says Jodi is experiencing slippage. Jodi says she will change that and will start taking responsibility. Iyanla asks her how she can know that Jodi will do that and Jodi says Iyanla has to trust her. Iyanla says she doesn't trust anybody on a diet. In the confessional, Iyanla says Jodi is trying to suck her in and when she fails, she will try to blame Iyanla. She gives Jodi a commitment journal. In it Jodi is to write commitments she makes to herself and then check them off when she fulfills them.
SO graduates, Jill, Jessica and TJ arrive to surprise Lisa N. for her graduation. All the women hug them and Jodi goes to Jill and starts crying. She tells Jill she is having a bad day and she wishes she could just pack her bags and leave with Jill. Jill hugs her. In the confessional, Jodi says she is ready to leave the house and start living her life.
All the women gather outside by the pool, along with Dr. Stan and Iyanla, and wait for Lisa N. to come down the stairs. Lisa comes down and Rhonda says she looks stunning. All the women clap for her. Lisa takes her seat and Rhonda goes to the podium.
Rhonda says that when Lisa first arrived at the house, she had the emotional age of a very young child. She says they had to give Lisa a reality check by dressing her in a baby outfit that reflected her emotional age. They flashback to when Lisa was wearing the baby costume. Rhonda says Lisa then had to break her ties of dependency on her parents. They flashback to when Lisa cut up her father's credit card and buried it in a "grave." Rhonda says Lisa then had to be put to work and they flashback to Lisa's jobs in the restaurant and at the ranch. Rhonda then talks about the jewelry Lisa had to make. She says it was only supposed to be a one day assignment, but it turned into many days as Lisa got more and more frustrated with making the jewelry. They flashback to Lisa becoming angry and defensive with her housemates over the jewelry assignment.
Rhonda says Lisa was very rebellious and was unwilling to embrace her own power. Rhonda says that unwillingness led to a board of review, in which Lisa got a "D." They flashback to that BoR. Rhonda says Lisa then became a guest in the house and had to earn her way back in. She says, however, that the issue of Mr. Internet kept cropping back up and Lisa kept lying to her about this abusive relationship. Rhonda says she then put Lisa in a jail to give her insight into what she was doing. They flashback to when Lisa was sitting in the jail cell outside. Then they flashback to when Rhonda caught Lisa emailing Mr. Internet. Rhonda says after that issue with Mr. Internet was resolved, she still couldn't have Lisa graduate because she hadn't earned the last three pieces of her backbone (trust, wisdom and independence). She says she and Iyanla then made a "bold move" and decided to send Lisa home for 30 days to see whether she could earn those last three pieces on her own. They flashback to the BoR when Rhonda told Lisa she wouldn't be graduating, but instead she was sending her home to prove herself.
Rhonda says after Lisa returned home she hosted a dinner party, and Rhonda attended it. They flashback to the dinner party Lisa held at her home in Miami. Rhonda says Lisa went back to Miami with no support, but she managed to get a job and host a dinner party for six people. Rhonda says her hope for Lisa is that she discovers the "amazing" woman she is. She says, "Congratulations, Lisa, you have Started Over."
Iyanla goes up to the podium next. She says she loves the fact that Lisa took the time for herself. She says taking time for oneself is the most self-honoring thing a person can do. She says she hopes Lisa believes she is the woman she says she is. Iyanla then hugs Lisa.
Dr. Stan goes to the podium next. He says he has never before talked to a 40 year old woman in a baby dress, and he jokes that he thought it might be the end of his career. He says Lisa always wanted to give up and she wasn't persevering. He says he kept talking to her about that issue and one day she finally got it and started persevering. He congratulates her.
Jill is next to the podium. She says her experience with Lisa was powerful, enlightening and thought-provoking. She says her hope for her is that she enjoys being a grown-up and she hopes they will all grow old together and laugh about their experiences in the house.
Then Iyanla, Rhonda and Lisa go up to the podium. Iyanla presents Lisa with her graduation gift. They give her a new dining room set. Rhonda then presents Lisa with her SO trophy which reads, "Grown Up At Last." Lisa then stands at the podium. She says she thought her life was over when she came to the SO house. Now she says she feels like her life has just begun. She thanks everyone for not giving up on her. In the confessional, Lisa says she has developed a strong connection with the women of Starting Over because of their shared experience in the house.
The limo comes to pick up Lisa. The women line up outside the front door to say goodbye to her. In the confessional, Lisa says she feels so much love and such a strong connection to the women. She says she hopes she will never lose it because it is the most reassuring feeling she has ever had. Lisa gets in the limo and leaves.
TJ, Jessica and Jill prepare to leave. In the confessional, Jodi says she is ready to walk out the door with them. She says she has given up control of her life by being in the house and she misses that control.
Preview: The women get ready for the new housemate. And when she arrives, they have no idea what they are in for. Christie must answer a life-changing question.
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