Starting Over Blog

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Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Lisa Doesn't Live Here Anymore

The show starts with a continuation of yesterday's Board of Review. Rhonda tells Lisa to take her grade like a grown-up and then gives Lisa a 'D'.  Rhonda says no one has ever gotten a 'D' in the Starting Over house before... She tells Lisa that she must pack her bags and then live out of those bags. She can have no decorations on the walls and nothing in the dresser drawers. Rhonda says Lisa is a special case and that she and her housemates are not ready to give up on her. Lisa thanks Rhonda for giving her another chance and the BoR is over.

Jessica says she feels that Lisa is one of their sisters in the house and Jill says she doesn't want anyone to ever give up on her, so she won't give up on Lisa. Meanwhile, TJ and Allison have a discussion. TJ tells Allison she doesn't like what Allison said about her in the BoR--that she has panic attacks. TJ says she doesn't have panic attacks. Allison says she does have a form of them. TJ then accuses Allison of having panic attacks too. Allison tells TJ she said it because they have to spend so much time working on TJ's problems in the house. TJ counters by saying that they have to spend a lot of time on Allison's problems too. She then tells Allison she should focus on herself instead...

Lisa is sitting on her bed and Rhonda comes in and they hug. Lisa is very upset and crying over the 'D'. Rhonda tells her it's all up to her now. She tells Lisa she is to move into the guest room. Lisa says she doesn't know what to do/say, and Rhonda tells her that she guesses Lisa always feels this way, but that she normally just uses a flippant attitude, etc., to avoid those feelings. Lisa packs her things and moves into the guest room.

Iyanla and Christina meet. Iyanla has a board with the word 'Christina' written out across it, but each of the letter has a piece missing from it. Iyanla asks her why she thinks there are pieces missing from the letters, and Christina says because there are pieces of me missing. Iyanla says there are pieces of Christina's story that are missing, and she lays out blank pieces of paper on the table--she tells Christina to fill in those missing pieces. Iyanla wants to know things like where all the money Christina made in Vegas went, and why she really left home.

Rhonda and TJ meet. Rhonda has created a large scoreboard for TJ with all the housemates names on it. She says TJ likes to 'keep score' and is always worried that she is giving more support then she gets. She tells TJ that from now on she will keep track of every time someone gives her support by giving them a point on the scoreboard, and she should give herself a point anytime she gives one of her housemates support.

TJ goes and gets all the housemates and they gather in the living room. Rhonda tells them all about the scorecard TJ is going to keep from now on. Rhonda wants TJ to learn from this exercise that you cannot keep a score on giving/receiving love.

Iyanla arrives and the women meet for group. She asks Lisa how she feels, and Lisa says she feels she doesn't have a clue and is vulnerable. Iyanla goes over and sits next to Lisa on the couch. She hugs her and Lisa cries. Iyanla goes to sit back down, and ask Lisa how that felt. Lisa says she is not used to feeling vulnerable, and has never felt safe enough before now to be vulnerable. Next Iyanla brings in a collection of miscellaneous items--pizza boxes, water bottles, etc. She asks each woman what's one thing they have left uncompleted. She then gives them an item for each thing they have left uncompleted in their lives. The women are all sitting there with laps full of the items, and Iyanla says this is what incompleteness looks like. Iyanla says they must achieve closure over these things. Group is adjourned.

Rhonda leaves a note on Allison's bed. It says that Allison should do something nice for TJ that evening so that TJ will feel special and supported in the house.

Iyanla and Jill meet. Iyanla says Jill has made incredible progress, but that bigger things are always just around the corner. She asks Jill how many incompletions in her life are related to fear, and Jill says 90% of them. Iyanla says every fear and every incompletion is connected to a dream. She then reveals a 'wheel of dreams'. Jill is to write down her dreams on pieces of paper and affix them to the wheel--the wheel looks like a vertical version of the 'Wheel of Fortune' wheel.

Allison is going to throw a surprise party for TJ because of Rhonda's instructions. Jessica is resistant to the idea because she says she is tired of proving to TJ that she supports her.

Christina says she must be completely honest with herself and Iyanla, and she decides to write a confidential letter to Iyanla telling her something about her past that she doesn't want anyone else to know.

TJ goes with Jill to Jenny Craig for a weigh-in. Jill is shocked to learn she has gained 4lbs. She tells the Jenny Craig consultant that she has been eating too many snacks and that she overdid it on her birthday. He says it's good that she is not in denial about her eating, and that she will learn from this experience.

Christina and Iyanla meet. Iyanla has a present for Christina. Christina opens it and finds the missing pieces of the letters in her name on the board. Iyanla goes over what Christina has written about why she has missing pieces... They talk about why Christina has gotten into violent relationships with men--Christina says it's because of her insecurities. Iyanla says they have to clean that up. Then Christina tells Iyanla she has a present for her, and gives her the confidential letter she wrote. She tells Iyanla not to read it right then because it is private. After Iyanla leaves with the letter, Christina says she feels relieved and afraid at the same time. She is afraid of what Iyanla might say about what is in the letter.

Allison and the housemates are getting ready for TJ's dinner party. The other housemates are not into it, however, and Allison feels that they are being forced into having the party. Jessica says she feels disconnected from the whole thing.

TJ and Jill arrive back at the house, and TJ and Lisa have a talk. Lisa tells TJ she isn't angry with her for saying she should leave at the BoR. She thinks TJ was just saying what everybody really thought but were too afraid to say. TJ says she would do anything for Lisa, except carry her. She tells Lisa to remember that no matter what, they always have each other's back.

Iyanla and Jill meet. Jill has finished writing down her dreams and placing them on the 'wheel of dreams'. Iyanla spins the wheel and it lands on, 'experience being loved by a beautiful man'. Jill says she has never experienced that. Then Jill tells Iyanla about the weight gain. Iyanla says this is called 'slippage'. Iyanla says this is part of the cycle of incompleteness.  She says that somewhere inside Jill is a broken commitment that needs to be healed. She gets Jill to write down all the things that are incomplete in her life. She writes each one down (past due bills, weight, cutting corners, not doing what she says she'll do), and then Iyanla puts them over the dreams on the wheel. She says these incomplete things make it impossible to realize the dreams. She says the incomplete cycles of action will kill Jill's dreams. She tells Jill she must bring to closure all the incompleteness in order to realize her dreams.

Lisa has to write a daily report to Rhonda now as a condition of her probation. She says she now has constant fear and feels she is living on the edge in the house. She could be asked to leave at any time.

Iyanla reads Christina's letter and looks a little sad. She says that this is a huge deal, and it will take tremendous work to heal it.

TJ's party begins. All the women are at the table, and Allison announces that the party is for TJ. TJ says she is in shock and that she shouldn't have totally disrespected them yesterday when she said they didn't give her enough support.  Then TJ goes on and on, talking about how she was coming from a childlike place, and that she is going to try to get connected, etc. She also says she feels 'uncomfortable'. Christina says (in the one on one room), that TJ could have just said 'thank you'. She says she really doesn't understand what TJ was talking about and started spacing out because TJ went on for so long. Allison says she worked all day and is sweating and tired, and then TJ says she feels uncomfortable... All the women look a little strained and angry at TJ, but TJ doesn't seem to notice as they dinner party continues.

After the party, Lisa calls Rhonda and Rhonda tells her she got her report, and that she has earned another night in the house. Lisa feels like a burden has been lifted, at least temporarily, but she has to go through this exercise every day now.

Iyanla arrives and Christina goes to meet her. She immediately starts hugging Iyanla and crying about the letter. Iyanla promises her that everything is OK. She tells Christina she never has to be afriad to tell her anything, and she promises they will deal with it. Iyanla says that from what was in the letter, it has now become clear just how Christina endured her dark days of being an escort.

Preview: Christina reveals her painful past. Allison takes a huge step backwards and may not be able to make it through another day.

Posted by Susan at 4:45:06 PM in Blogging (208) | Comments (6)

Monday, November 21, 2005

A Big Board of Review

The show starts with the women going out for breakfast. As they sit down to eat, a couple in the table next to them starts arguing loudly. The women are uncomfortable about it--Allison thinks that she must attract conflict wherever she goes, and Lisa says the guy is probably going to cheat on the woman. Allison and Lisa are sort of joking about the arguing couple a little, and TJ says she thinks it's rude for them to do that. Then TJ gets up and goes over to the couple. She tells the woman that the whole restaurant can hear their argument. The woman tells TJ she is very humiliated and apologizes. The women cannot believe TJ actually approached the arguing couple. Lisa says TJ thinks she is Dr. Phil. Jessica says she would have been 'pissed' if someone had approached her like that. TJ will not tell the women what she said to the couple after she comes back to the table.

Back at the house, Rhonda arrives and they have group. Rhonda says today's group is about drama. Lisa then tells Rhonda what happened at the restaurant with the arguing couple. Rhonda admits to them that the whole thing was a set up to see how they would react to the drama. Lisa tells Rhonda how TJ went over and confronted them. Rhonda seems a little surprised by that. She says that TJ inserted herself into the middle of the drama. Then the women tell Rhonda about how TJ wouldn't tell them what she said to the couple, and Rhonda said that was a way to further increase the drama. At this point, TJ starts crying. She says that no matter what she does, she feels she is being rejected at every turn and that she can't handle it anymore. She is now really crying hard and yelling that she needs more patience and more support. She says she doesn't know what she's doing. Rhonda asks her how it feels to be the catalyst for drama, and TJ says she doesn't want the focus to be on her anymore. Rhonda tells her that if you are looing for rejection, you'll find it. If you're looking for inadequate support, you'll get it. Then she moves on from TJ. She tells all the women that they can have 'drama' or they can have a life. She then announces that there is a Board of Review tonight. Lisa fears she will be asked to leave. Group is adjourned.

Iyanla arrives and meets with Christina. They go outside where Iyanla has a table set out. On the table are various things symbolizing what it takes to live on your own: a toy car, food, clothes, etc. Iyanla wants Christina to write down how much she thinks these things cost to get an idea of whether Christina is realistic about what she needs to earn to support herself and her son, Jackson.

Rhonda and Lisa meet. Lisa is excited to show her the necklaces she completed for the assignment Rhonda gave her (to make 25 necklaces). She says she is embarrassed over how she complained about making them because she got such a feeling of satisfaction when she was finished. Rhonda tells Lisa she has to get sell her necklaces and she only has an hour. She tells her not to come back to the house with any necklaces. She then gives her directions for where she is to go to sell them. Lisa says she is freaked out and worried about this assignment.

Lisa prepares to leave, and Allison tries to help her get ready. Allison says Lisa is falling apart on her. Lisa arrives at Pink's Hot Dog Stand. She tries to approach several people, but they all turn her down for a sale. She looks very sad... She then sets up a table with all of her necklaces. Realizing that she's not selling anything, she calls Rhonda and leaves a message saying she isn't selling anything, and that she fears being asked to leave if she doesn't.

Iyanla and Christina meet again and go over the cost of things. Christina has figured out that she needs $2650 per month to support herself and Jackson. She says she doesn't know how she is going to do it... Iyanla says there are healthy ways of making money, but that she will always have the temptation of making money the 'old' way--via stripping/escorting. Christina says she wants to get her GED and go to real estate school. Iyanla tells her that she has arranged for Christina to meet a real estate agent today to talk over the real estate business. Christina is excited about it.

Iyanla meets with Jill and they discuss Jill's health issues. Jill tells her that doctors from the second opinion she got told her to lose weight and be in optimal health before getting the surgery. Iyanla says that Jill is demonstrating a deeper understanding of her self worth. She tells Jill to go get her bag of unworthiness. Jill does and when she returns, Iyanla takes out a piece of clothing from the bag, and cuts it up with scissors. She tells Jill to continue cutting up all the clothes inside the bag--they represent her feelings of unworthiness and it's time to get rid of them.

Lisa is still at Pink's trying to sell the jewelry. She finally makes one sale, and then her hour is up. She puts away the jewelry and heads home. She says the only question is whether she should just leave the house, or wait to get kicked out since she didn't complete another assignment.

Christina goes to meet Linda Zimmerman, a real estate agent, at a million dollar home that's for sale in LA. Linda tells Christina about the business, and Christina feels good about it. She says she's going to go for it.

Back at the house, Lisa calls Rhonda again. This time Rhonda answers. She tells Rhonda that she didn't sell the jewelry, and Rhonda tells her she could have gotten rid of the necklaces in many different ways (giving them away?). Lisa asks if there is anything she can do, and if she can have another chance... Rhonda says prepare herself because the BoR is in 1 1/2 hours.

The women get ready for the Bor. Everybody seems nervous. Jill says the BoR is like going to court, and nobody wants to go to court. Rhonda and Iyanla arrive and the BoR begins.

Jill is called up first. Iyanla asks what she is doing well, and Jill says she is using her assignments to move forward in her life. She gives herself an 'A', and Iyanla asks her to justify it. Jill says she has given 100% of who and what she is to the process of starting over. Iyanla asks the housemates for positive feedback for Jill. Lisa says Jill has become very proactive and Jessica says she has seen a change in Jill's energy. Iyanla says, 'speaking to one broad-hipped, big black woman to another' she she knows they get so good at taking punches, that they start taking the punches just because they can. She says the result of taking these punches in Jill's case is the tumor and excess weight. Jill starts crying. Iyanla says she knows the truth about Jill--she saw the truth when Jill competed the obstacle course (they show a flashback), and when she stood out on the balcony and asked the universe for what she wanted (another flashback). But she says Jill went into action because she has a tumor, not because she was pursuing wonderful things for herself. She asks Jill when she is going to stop wearing the superwoman cape. Jill says she sees herself as valuable now just because she exists. Iyanla says she doesn't know whether she truly believes her, but she feels that Jill has internalized her learning experience and she gives her an 'A'. Rhonda says Jill is the epitome of starting over. Jill sits down.

Then Lisa is called to the podium. Rhonda asks her why she is there, and Lisa says her goal is to grow up. Rhonda tells her to throw away the 'right answers' and tell her why she is really here. Lisa says it because she was miserable and tired of shifting around and not accomplishing anything in her life. (They show Lisa in the one-on one room, and she says the scene at the BoR is very surreal. She feels very detached during the whole thing.) Rhonda asks her what she is not doing and Lisa says she does not trust herself. Rhonda mentions the assignment she had today and that she didn't complete it. Then Rhonda asks Lisa what grade she gives herself and she says a 'B'. Rhonda asks for positive feedback from her housemates. TJ says Lisa is more accepting and aware when she has made a mistake. Allison says Lisa has sacrificed sleep, etc., to get her assignments done. Then the women give her constructive criticism. Christina says she sometimes questions Lisa's authenticity. Allison says that Lisa's panic attacks could be controlled. Jill says that when Lisa panics, she becomes disrespectful and pushes Jill away. (In the one on one room, Lisa says she can see everybody's lips moving, but she can't hear what they're saying in the BoR because she feels so detached). Next they go around the table and ask the women if Lisa should stay or go. Christina says she should stay. Allison, Jessica and Jill think she should stay, but be on probation. TJ thinks Lisa should go.

Rhonda says nobody is allowed to stay after three failed assignments. She says they can all support Lisa, but she must do the work. She asks Lisa if she is ready to fight for her life, and Lisa says she is, but that she doesn't know what to do differently. Lisa is now crying hard and choking/coughing. She's very upset. Rhonda says Lisa has to drop her flippant attitude and her psychological jargon. Then she tells Lisa she is going to give her a grade and that she should take the grade as a grown up. And the show ends with this cliffhanger!

Preview: Lisa learns her dreadful fate. TJ reels from Allison's accusations. Christina reveals the dark side she tried to keep hidden.

Posted by Susan at 4:54:06 PM in Blogging (208) | Comments (1)

Friday, November 18, 2005

Forgiveness and Lisa Makes More Jewelry

The episode begins with Lisa showing Jill the jewelry she made for the assignment. She is not happy with the quality of her work, and was up until 4AM working on the necklaces.  Jill has an appointment at the hospital to discuss financial options for her surgery.

The women gather for group, and Lisa tells them she is sorry for lashing out at them yesterday. She says she feels ashamed of herself. Dr. Stan arrives to run the group, and says that today's group is about forgiveness. He asks the women how they handle forgiveness and whether it is easy for them to forgive. Jill says she is willing to forgive friends, but has trouble forgiving her family. Allison says she never allows herself to feel the anger over being hurt by someone, so she can't get to the forgiveness. She tends to just blame herself when anyone hurts her. Lisa says she is quick to forgive without first feeling the feelings of anger. Jessica says she was raised to be forgiving, but tends to build evidence against a person after they've hurt her once. Stan tells them that forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. He brings out an olive branch, which is a symbol of peace/forgiveness, and lays it on the table. He tells the women to write a letter of forgiveness to their parent/s for a forgiveness ceremony that Rhonda is going to hold this evening. Group is adjourned.

Dr. Stan and TJ meet. He asks her how she is connecting in the house, and TJ says she is having trouble. Christina thinks she doesn't listen, and she is having problems with Jessica and Allison as well. Stan says he has an exercise for her to help her connect. Then he brings in 4 kids for TJ to babysitfor the afternoon. He tells TJ that she is to have lunch with them, play games, read a story, etc. TJ immediately asks the children for a hug, and they all hug her.

Allison works on her forgiveness letter to her father. She says she is having a hard time forgiving him.

Rhonda and Lisa meet and Lisa shows Rhonda the necklaces she made. Lisa is not happy wih them at all because she thinks they are not good enough quality to sell. Rhonda asks her if she has prepared invoices for the jewelry, and Lisa says she hasn't. Then Lisa and Rhonda go watch the video of the appointments Lisa had with the shop owners to make sure that Lisa has fulfilled the order she promised. As they watch Lisa meeting with each shop owner, Lisa realizes that she was lying to all of them and that the had no intention of filling the orders she took from them that day. She still doesn't have the orders completed even after staying up all night working on them, and Rhonda is disappointed that Lisa is so unprepared.

Jessica works on her forgiveness letter to her father. She is trying to forgive him for the way he behaved after her mother's death. TJ is outside with the kids. They are running all over the place, and TJ doesn't seem to have much control over the situation.

Rhonda and Lisa continue their discussion. Rhonda tells her she has to deliver the necklaces she made to the shop owners today, and that she also has another order for Lisa: Rhonda wants 25 more necklaces by tomorrow. She asks Lisa if she can do it, and Lisa looks anxious--doesn't really answer...

Jill goes to Live View Hospital to find out about financial aid for her surgery. She finds out that she qualifies for Medi-Cal through the ATP program (Aid To Pay). Jill needs a note from a doctor before getting the financing, and decides to go for a second opinion regarding her surgery.

The kids are now running through the house playing, and TJ has lost all control. She says they are not listening to her and she feels a little overwhelmed.

Lisa goes to the jewelry stores to give them her necklaces. Things go well at the first store, but at the second store, the shop owner is a little terse with her at first, and says she is late in her delivery... Also, one of the necklaces is broken, so she can only give him 4 of the 5 she promised.

Jill goes to Northridge Hospital for the second opinion. The doctor there tells her there are concerns about having the surgery now. He says she should lose weight and be in a better emotional state before she has surgery... Christina picks Jill up from the hospital and Jill tells her about the appointment. She says the doctor said he wants to do an ultrasound and find out where the fibroid is coming from... He says only if it is coming from her ovary would he recommend surgery right now. Jill is elated that she doesn't immediately have to have the surgery, and that the doctor told her there many be other options.

TJ reads a story to the kids, but they're not really that into it. Lisa tries to take a nap, and Allison feels that Lisa doesn't really have a clue about what s going on.

Stan returns and the children leave. Then he and TJ meet to discuss the experience she had babysitting. Stan says TJ tried hard, and he gives her an A for effort. He says, however, that TJ came on too strong when she immediately asked the kids to hug her. He said that is uncomfortable for the kids, and too aggressive. He says she needed to relax and let the kids com to her. He relates the way she interacted with the kids with the problems she has in connecting with people. She comes on too strong with others, and intimidates people that way.

Rhonda and Lisa meet to talk about her day delivering the necklaces. Lisa tells her how one of the charms fell off of the necklaces, and Rhonda asks her if, after that happened, she checked the other necklaces before going to the next store. Lisa says she didn't.  Rhonda asks her if she (Lisa) always needs to be checked/watched, and Lisa starts crying. She says she is trying, and Rhonda says Lisa is becoming defensive. She tells Lisa she doesn't buy her tears or her manipulations. She asks Lisa what she wants from the SO house, and Lisa says she doesn't want everything to be such an effort for her. Rhonda says things are going to be challenging for a long time for Lisa until she grows a backbone. Lisa says it's hard to change old habits. Rhonda says that Lisa is acting like the SO house is against her and that she is argumentative and defensive. She asks Lisa what she, as her life coach, is supposed to do when Lisa acts that way. Lisa is crying and she tells Rhonda she wants to ask for help now. Rhonda tells her she must be willing to do the work to grow up. She tells Lisa she is looking for to seeing the 'grown up Lisa'.

TJ works on her forgiveness letter, and Lisa tells Jessica about the meeting she had with Rhonda. She says Rhonda told also told her that if she remains childish, she will never get to experience giving/receiving love. Lisa says she can't run away from the house, and that she will never get the things she wants.

The women meet outside for the forgiveness ceremony with Rhonda. Rhonda says that forgiveness happens in layers. It is something you must do over and over again. She says that when we let go of bitterness and resentment, it sets us free. Then she says each woman will read her letter and then decide whether to send the letter or burn it. They all read their letters (they only show clips of each woman reading). They are all very touching, especially Allison's letter. Allison cries as she talks about her father's drunken rages, he didn't realize how badly he hurt her, and she says she forgives him.  Lisa's letter, however, is accusatory and doesn't sound very forgiving. Rhonda says Lisa just doesn't 'get it'. All the women, except Lisa, decide to mail the letter instead of burning it. Lisa burns hers.

After the ceremony, Lisa goes to work on the 25 necklaces Rhonda wants by tomorrow. She says she wants to give up, and asks TJ if she should just call Rhonda and tell her she can't do it. TJ tells her not to call Rhonda, and not to give up. Jessica is worried that Lisa is going to give up on the SO house, and then the house will give up on her. Lisa says the act of making these necklaces is killing her.

Preview for next week: Allison is pushed to a place she doesn't want to go. TJ has a breakdown. Christina reveals more about her secret past. And there's a Board of Review so stunning it makes Starting Over history and will change the house forever!

Posted by Susan at 4:43:35 PM in Blogging (208) | Comments (2)

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Lisa Has a Meltdown

The episode begins with TJ making coffee and Lisa talking about her mom's visit. She says that her mom didn't want to come to the house, but that she wound up getting a lot out of her visit. Lisa then mentions the jewelry assignment she didn't complete. She tells Allison that she has decided it is no big deal that she didn't finish it, and that she is not worried and it is not important. Allison, however, knows Lisa is going to have big trouble from not completing it.

Dr. Stan and Jill meet and talk about the conversation Jill had with her mom. Jill says she is happy she told her mom she wasn't going to live with her anymore, but at the same time she feels some sadness and wonders where she will go from here. Stan says Jill is doing good work, and that it's OK to feel sadness about it, but that Jill's conversation with her mom was a big success for her. Stan tells Jill she is going to go to a radio station today and meet with Lisa Garr, a radio host for The Aware Show.  Jill is going to share her story on the radio to give other people inspiration.

Josie and Chloe arrive. Christina says she is not thrilled to see Josie after the way Josie acted out at the restaurant last night. Meanwhile, Jill leaves for the radio station appointment.

Rhonda and Dr. Stan arrive for a meeting with Lisa. Lisa says she doesn't have a good feeling about this meeting. They sit down and Lisa starts saying she had 'confusion' over her exercise, and that she hasn't completed it. Rhonda shows her a video tape of her meetings with the jewelry store owners, in which she made appointments with them to return with jewelry she was to make... She never showed up for those appointments. Stan tells Lisa she is there to learn the things she didn't learn as a child/young adult. Lisa starts crying. Rhonda asks why she didn't call her if she was having trouble, and Lisa says she doesn't know why. Rhonda asks her if she knew she was failing to do her assignment, and Lisa says she did. Stan suggests that Lisa may not be ready for the SO house, and Lisa cries and says she doesn't want to leave. She asks Stan and Rhonda if she can start over again. Rhonda says this is the second time she would have started over in the house, and that nobody stays in the house after failing two exercises.  Lisa says she can't go home without finishing, but Rhonda says she certainly can. Rhonda tells her that she and Dr. Stan are not her mom and dad. Stan asks Lisa what would be different if they give her another chance. Lisa continues crying, and doesn't really answer. Rhonda brings out the baby dress Lisa had to wear previously, and asks Lisa whether she wants to be a little girl, or grow up. Lisa says she wants to be an adult. Stan says then there should be no more tears because she is crying instead of taking charge. Rhonda tells Lisa she has 24 hours to clean up her mess. She has to call all the store owners and apologize for not keeping her appointments, and she has to fulfill her orders for the jewelry and take them to each store. It all must be done by tomorrow. Stan says if she does it, it will prove she is motivated.

Jill arrives at the radio station, 90.7 FM to do 'The Aware Show' with Lisa Garr. Jill tells her story on air, and they talk about not having health insurance, and how 45 million people in this country aren't insured. She talks about her health problems, and how the SO house is helping her face these long-standing issues with her health that she had been avoiding. Lisa Garr asks Jill if she has any advice for people, and Jill says people should 'get off the couch', make a list of things they think they cannot do, and then make that list a 'to-do' list. Jill does a really great job on the show.

The women all meet for group with Rhonda. Today's issue is about forgivness. She asks, 'when are we going to stop blaming our parents?' She says the way to stop blaming is to forgive. She asks Christina what was the worst thing her parents ever did to her, and Christina says it was when they let her get married at 16. TJ says the worst thing her parents did was not protect her after she was molested. Rhonda says that we must learn to see our parents as human beings who also had bad things happen to them. She says they have their own fears, traumas, etc., and that once we realize that, we can forgive them. She also talks about how when we don't deal with our issues from the past, we pass those unhealed wounds down to our children and it becomes a family legacy. Group is adjourned.

Dr. Stan, Josie and Christina meet in the living room. Stan says the two women have something in common, in that they are both single parents. He tells them he has invited a parenting expert who specializes in single parenting issues to talk with them.

Lisa calls one of the jewelry store owners and tells him she has been a 'naughty girl' for not keeping her appointment with him. She asks if she can bring her jewelry to his store tomorrow, and he agrees.

The parenting expert, Martha Gross, arrives and Stan introduces her to Christina and Josie. She tells them that they have to set their priorities, and make sure they practice self-care too, or they won't have the energy to be good mothers. She says it is only when you yourself are nurtured that you have the energy to give back. Stan tells the women that if they do not lead a balanced life, they are not being good role models for their children. He says that sometimes single parents get too many of their own needs met by their children, and this causes the children to feel smothered and is unhealthy for both parent and child. Stan has a letter for Christina, and she reads it aloud. It says that she and Josie are going to go to Betty Ann's house, (the woman who made Christina's boundaries necklace) today for a craft project. Stan tells Josie to find a babysitter (one of the women in the house) for Chloe while they are at Betty Ann's house. Josie is initially opposed to leaving Chloe, but Stan encourages her to do so, and then they call Jessica in and ask if she will babysit. Jessica says she has been a nanny since she was 14, and that Josie can trust her to take good care of Chloe. Josie is very anxious about it nonetheless.

Lisa calls the other store owners and apologizes for not showing up for the appointments. She says she feels humiliated having to do this, and doesn't want people to see her this way. The store owners agree to meet with her tomorrow.

Josie keeps lingering at the house, saying goodbye to Chloe a bunch of times. She is having a hard time leaving Chloe with Jessica. She finally leaves, and Jessica and Chloe play together--color, etc. They seem to be having a good time.

Josie and Christina arrive at Betty Ann Gross's house. Betty Ann has set out china plates that the two women are going to decorate as a present for their children.

Lisa goes to the store for jewelry supplies, so she can finish making the jewelry for tomorrow's appointments. She says she feels overwhelmed.

Josie and Christina both create very pretty plates, and Christina says she realizes that she and Josie are a lot alike. They are both creative and use art as therapy. She is glad that they got to spend this time together.

Stan meets with Jill to discuss her radio appearance. Jill says it went great. She says she feels comfortable using her voice to talk about things that are important, and feels right at home back on the air. She was on the air for 15 years, but stopped about 2 years ago. She said it was like she had never stopped.

Lisa is back home and struggling with the jewelry-making. She says she doesn't want to do it, but has to do it to get what she wants... Josie and Christina return and Josie talks with Stan for a minute. Stan says he hopes Josie will be able to understand the importance of balance in her life. Then Josie says goodbye to the women, and she and Chloe leave.

The women sit at the dining room table, and Lisa is trying to work on her jewelry. She is frustrated, and then asks Jessica to give back the necklace she had given her so she can sell it tomorrow. Jessica gives it back, and Jill makes a negative comment about Lisa doing that. Lisa gets angry and says she will pay Jessica for it. Jill tells Lisa that they all support her; but that she makes it very difficult to do so with the way she acts.

TJ, Jessica and Jill sit outside, and Lisa is still sitting at the table working on the jewelry. Allison goes to help Lisa, but TJ doesn't want her to help because she feels Allison is enabling Lisa. So TJ goes in and tries get Allison to stop helping Lisa (she asks Allison if she wants her to do her hair). Lisa gives TJ the 'evil eye' and Allison says she is going to stay and help Lisa. TJ then walks out and slams the door. Christina then goes over and asks Lisa if she can help too. Lisa is crying and kind of whining--Allison tells her to speak like an adult as they continue working on the jewelry. Allison says Lisa is spinning out of control. Meanwhile outside, TJ is angry at the way Lisa is acting, and says Lisa is behaving like a child and crying to get her way. Back inside, Lisa is crying and cursing... Christina walks outside to where TJ, Jill and Jessica are gathered, and she tells them she is helping Lisa because she doesn't want her to get thrown out. She feels if Lisa fails, they all fail. Inside, Lisa and Allison are still working on the jewelry, and Lisa is cursing like a sailor and crying. TJ walks by and slams the door again, and Lisa says 'f*ck you too'. Then Allison goes outside and tells the women they should give Lisa a break and support her. TJ says they can't carry Lisa over the finish line. The show ends with Lisa crying and saying she doesn't know if she's going to get it all done before tomorrow.

Preview: Frustration in the house hits an all time high. Lisa may have finally run out of chances with Rhonda. TJ learns what it's like to be a mom.

Posted by Susan at 4:54:07 PM in Blogging (208) | Comments (0)

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Josie And Chloe Visit

The show begins with Josie and Chloe arriving at the SO house. Josie is going through a tough time, and wants to get some additional support. The women greet Josie and Chloe, and Josie tells them a little about her life since graduating. She says she lives with her mom in Illinois and works 70 hours a week. Chloe's father is still trying to make it in a band. Rhonda arrives and scoops up Chloe. She can't believe how much she has grown since she last saw her. Rhonda then lets Josie and Chloe settle in and relax a little while she and the women meet for group. 

For group today, Rhonda wants to discuss abuse. She has tied her hands together with a belt, and says that it symbolizes how we get shackled by abusive relationships. Rhonda says that when someone blames you for everything and uses your guilt and shame against you, that is emotional abuse. In that kind of relationship, the abuser tells you that if you would just get 'fixed' everything would be OK. Jill says that she and her mother abuse each other and that they had a better relationship with her mom when they didn't live together. She says she used to have friends visit her, etc., but since living with her mom, she has been isolated. Rhonda says that isolation from friends/family is another sign you're in an abusive relationship. Allison says her whole family is abusive--her mom, dad, brother, grandparents, and even herself. Rhonda asks her if her mom has ever apologized for raising her in an abusive situation, and Allison says she hasn't. Rhonda passes out a belt with a key on it to each woman. They have to wear the 'handcuffs' until they call a person in their lives with whom they need to set a boundary. Both Allison and Jill must call their moms. Jill is terrified of this phone call, and is very upset just thinking of it. Group is adjourned, and Jill goes into the kitchen with the other women. They try to talk to her/help as she cries and says she can't handle telling her mom that she doesn't want to live with her anymore. 

Josie and Rhonda meet, while Chloe play nearby. Rhonda says she can see that Josie has developed a great deal of patience from motherhood, and Josie says she has more patience with everyone now, not just Chloe. Josie tells Rhonda how tired she is, and how she never gets any sleep. She is very upset and trying not to cry in front of Chloe as she talks about how she hasn't had a full night's sleep since Chloe was born.  Rhonda tells Josie she should let herself cry, otherwise Chloe will not have a good example of how to express her own emotions. 

Allison calls her mom, Anne. She tells Anne how much she loves her and how hard she is working on herself so that she won't be depressed anymore. Anne says she understands and that nobody wants to be depresssed. Then they go on to talk about Anne's social security, etc. (ED: I didn't really hear Allison set a boundary with her mom.) After she gets off the phone, she tells TJ that she called her mom, and TJ unlocks Allison's handcuffs for her. 

Rhonda and Jessica meet. Rhonda says she previously gave Jessica an assignment to take photos on the streets of LA in order to rediscover her creative side. Jessica used to be a photographer, but gave it up a couple of years ago. Jessica shows Rhonda the photos, and Rhonda loves them. Rhonda then shows Jessica a book, called 'Fearless Women', which is photo essay book, created by Mary Ann Halpin (a renowned photographer). Rhonda tells Jessica that she has set up a meeting for Jessica today with Mary Ann to show Mary Ann her photos and get some feedback. 

Dr. Stan meets with Josie and Josie tells him how she works 7 days a week. She tells Stan that she and Chloe sleep in the same room, and that sometimes she lets Chloe sleep in the bed with her when she feels guilty for being hard on Chloe, or not spending enough time with her. Stan tells her that she has to take time for herself, and that doing so will make her a better mom. Josie says she has no one to babysit for Chloe--her mom refuses, and she doesn't trust anyone else to watch her. Stan says she has to be creative in finding time for herself. He suggests she join Parents Without Partners.  

Lisa drops Jessica off for her meeting with Mary Ann Halpin. Mary Ann asks why she stopped doing photography, and Jessica said she had a 'macho' professor who took the joy out of doing it. She then shows Mary Ann her photos, and Mary Ann gives her a lot of positive feedback. She really loves them.  

Dr. Stan and Jill meet to discuss her situation with her mom. She says she feels guilty that she doesn't want to live with her mom, but she really wants to be independent. Stan says she must care for herself enough to put herself first. Then they do a little role-playing, with Stan taking the part of Jill's mom. Jill tells her 'mom' she wants to be on her own, and 'mom' (Stan) argues with her, and accuses Jill of abandoning her. But Jill sticks to her guns, and says she has to move out for herself. Stan tells her now is the point when she has to assert her needs. 

Jill goes to call her mom--Lisa is with her for support. Jill tells her mom about how their relationship got bad after they moved in together, and that there are no boundaries in place with the current living situation. She tells her mom that they are no longer going to live in the same house. Her mom says she saw this coming for a long time, and that she will just have to face it. She tells Jill she will adjust, and Jill tells her it will be good for both of them. Jill asks her mom to come to the SO house for a visit, but her mom says she has to work double shifts and can't come. After the call, Jill says she feels she has had a major accomplishment. 

Lisa is talking with TJ and Allison and says she is anxious to meet with Rhonda because she never followed-up on the appointments she made with the jewelry store owners the other day. She says she has decided she doesn't want to be in the jewelry business or even in sales at all. She says she would rather be a producer, or something more people-oriented. She is worried, however, that she might get kicked out of the house for not following up with her assignment. 

The women take Josie and Chloe out to dinner, and to surprise Josie, Rhonda has arranged for SO graduates, Lynelle and Hailey, to meet them at the restaurant. They all sit down to eat, but things soon turn sour. Josie accuses Hailey of telling (or motioning to) Chloe to slap Josie. Hailey says Josie is being too serious, and that Chloe didn't even see her. Lisa thinks Josie is going overboard. Josie is very angry, and she and Hailey go outside to talk. Hailey tells Josie that she is exaggerating and taking something out on her that's not about her. Josie starts crying and tells Hailey that she is the only one she trusted and now feels that Hailey has turned against her. She tells Hailey she is sorry and that she has no social life and doesn't know how to interact with adults anymore. She says it is hard for her with her 'extra luggage' (meaning Chloe), and Hailey tells her that partying, meeting guys, etc., are unimportant compared to Chloe. They hug and Hailey tells Josie they both speak on impulse... Josie apologizes again for blowing up at Hailey. 

Preview: Josie is pushed to the limit. Lisa takes a huge step backwards and what happens next may determine her future in the house.

Posted by Susan at 4:35:22 PM in Blogging (208) | Comments (2)

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Jill's Birthday And Allison Practices Flirting

The show starts with the women cleaning the kitchen. TJ is stressed out about her communication problems with Allison and Jessica. Allison is still wearing her muumuu and kerchief. She is angry at TJ because she feels TJ was trying to 'teach her a lesson' yesterday and trying to take control.

Lisa's parents, Lisa and TJ are in the dining room talking. Lisa's mom says she most closely identifies with TJ, and feels they are the most alike. Lisa says that her relationship with her parents has changed a lot, and she feels lighter and not angry with them anymore. She says she can appreciate them as people now. Her parents leave...

Jill is having a birthday party in the evening and she is busy preparing for the party. Jessica says she is very excited about it.

Iyanla arrives and the women meet for group.  Christina is called up to the 'love seat' and Iyanla reveals on the plasma that Christina has received 2 steps: Drop the Hustle and Break Hidden Addictions. Christina looks absolutely radiant and joyous over receiving these steps. Iyanla asks her housemates about the changes they've seen in Christina. Jill says Christina has become more open and vulnerable. TJ says she is more willing to trust. Iyanla then asks the women to name something they really wanted and how they went about getting it. Christina says she really wanted to get married and 'manipulated' her mom into letting her. Jill says she really wanted to come to the Starting Over house. Jill then starts talking about a challenge she had yesterday at the grocery store. She says she saw a cupcake that she wanted to eat very badly, but didn't do it. Then they move on to Allison, who says that besides getting through cancer, she has never gotten anything she really wanted. She says she doesn't know how to give up control. Jill interrupts with the cupcake story again. She says not eating the cupcake was a huge struggle and she had to stand up for herself. She relates this story to Allison's issues with not standing up for herself. Jill says you just have to go after what you want, no matter what it takes. Iyanla tells Allison she has to do something she's never done before. She says Allison's facade is cracking, even though Allison continues to try to hold onto it.  Iyanla says there is a 'wild woman' underneath that facade who needs to come out! Next, Iyanla calls Jill to the love seat and tells her happy birthday. She then reveals on the plasma that Jill has also received a step: Eliminate Chaos. (ED. She may have gotten two steps, but they showed it too quickly for me to catch it). Iyanla tells Jill she is very proud of her for making her health plan, and taking care of herself. She also tells her not to ever try to con her into believing she is someone who cuts corners again. Group is adjourned.

Iyanla and Allison meet. Iyanla asks her how she feels about wearing the muumuu, and Allison says she now looks how she feels on the inside. She says she is embarrassed that she feels that way about herself. Iyanla tells her to finish the following sentence: "The reason I tell myself I'm not perfect is..." and Allison says it's because "I'm bad." Allison says she feels deep down inside that she doesn't deserve to live because she is not worth it, and she is not worth it because nobody loves her, and that nobody loves her because she is fat and ugly.

Then they cut to Jill going to Jenny Craig for her one month weigh-in. Jill has lost 20.2 lbs in one month and feels very good about it.

Back to Iyanla and Allison... Iyanla tells Allison to tell that part of herself which feels so bad what she wants 'her' to know. Allison says she is tired of 'her' feeling that way. She says she wants to live big, proud and with grace. Iyanla asks her what is blocking her from living that way, and Allison says it's fear--fear of everything--of failing, succeeding, of being alone, etc. Iyanla tells Allison there is someone she wants her to meet. His name is David Wygant aka 'Hitch' and he is a 'dating doctor'.  Iyanla brings David in and David asks Allison what she looks for in a man. Allison says she wants someone who is taller, muscular, funny, has money or is at least stable, and someone who makes her feel secure and terrific about herself. She says she's never had that before because she always thinks men find her fat and ugly. David and Allison then go to Allison's bedroom and David helps her pick out clothes for an outing they are taking to a dog park.  Allison gets ready, while David mingles with Jessica and Lisa. Allison comes out and she and David (along with a beautiful black lab named Daphne) leave for the dog park.

Jill continues to get the house ready for the party and Allison and David arrive at the dog park, and David tells Allison that dog parks are great places to meet people and to widen her social circle. Jill's best friend, Blu, arrives  at the house for Jill's party. Jill is very touches that Blue flew all the way out to be there for her birthday.

Allison and David go to a clothing shop called 'Abundance', where David is going to help Allison pick out clothes that make her feel sexy. Allison is reluctant to try on the 'skimpy' clothes, but does so anyway. She looks very pretty in them, by the way.

Back at the house, Jill is making food/drinks for the party. More guests start to arrive. Her cousin Brian shows up, and also her cousins Nora and Nellie and another cousin, Brent. Allison and David return to the house and Allison goes to change into the clothes she bought at Abundance, while David waits for her.  Allison comes out in a very pretty outfit, and her and David leave to go 'practice flirting'.

Meanwhile, Jill is having a very nice birthday party and she has a nice gathering of people there for her. They seem to all be enjoying themselves and Jill looks happy.

Allison and David arrive at a restaurant/bar and David talks to her about flirting. He says that part of flirting is 'creating a story,' and that it doesn't really matter what you say, just that you have fun and talk to people. Then David picks out some men sitting near the bar for Allison to approach and try out flirting. Allison looks nervous, but goes for it. She approaches the two men (twins), and tells them a story about how she and David are having an argument over who will win the super bowl this year. The guys seem really nice, and they have a light conversation with Allison. When Allison returns to her table with David, David tells her she did an unbelievably great job, and that she rocks!

Back at the house, Jill makes a wish and blows out the candles on the birthday cake. Allison and David arrive back at the house, and David tells the housemates what a great job Allison did with the flirting.  David then leaves, and so do Jill's birthday party guests.

Jill and TJ go outside to talk, and Jill tells TJ that Allison told her that TJ wasn't talking to anybody. TJ gets angry about this, and just then Allison walks outside. She asks Allison why she would say such a thing. TJ says she is just exhausted from the big day they had, and is not refusing to talk with people. She tells Allison that she thinks her comment was rude and that it hurt her feelings. Allison says it was just a comment, and not a big deal. TJ tells her that she wants to believe Allison, but that she really feels it was more than just an innocent comment.

Preview: Jill falls apart. Josie and Chloe return to the house, and Josie reveals what life has been like back home. A celebration turns nasty.

Posted by Susan at 4:39:29 PM in Blogging (208) | Comments (2)

Monday, November 14, 2005

TJ Creates An Exercise and Allison Has A Tough Day

The show starts with Lisa helping her mom style her hair. Then Rhonda arrives and tells the women that Mr. Ozzy, the dog, will be leaving the SO house after group today. Lisa, her parents and Rhonda go outside to talk. Lisa says that after she graduated college, she locked herself in her room for a year, and her parents just ignored her distress. She says that all the little things her parents do that annoy her bring up the past. Lisa's mom says that she gave Lisa money her grandmother (Lisa's mom's mom) left her that Lisa used to travel around the world, and that she also bought her a condo. Rhonda asks Lisa's dad if Lisa is a daddy's girl, and he says she is. Rhonda asks Lisa's mom how she feels about Lisa not being ambitious and not making her own money, etc. Lisa's mom says she is angry and upset about it. She says Lisa is like a 'dog' that has to be taken care of, or like a welfare recipient... Her father says he secretly enjoys it that Lisa is a daddy's girl who can't take care of herself. Lisa says that the way her dad is always offering to pay her bills and do everything for her undermines her confidence and makes her feel that she can do nothing for herself. Her parents both agree that want Lisa to gain confidence and her mom says it is wonderful that Lisa is at the SO house and that it's the best thing that has ever happened for Lisa.

The women meet for group. Rhonda arrives with a nest which contains 6 eggs. She tells the women that the eggs represent dreams that are stuck inside the shells. She says we get comfortable living in our shells and can't achieve our dreams until we become uncomfortable inside our shelled cocoons and decide to 'peck ourselves' free. Allison says she wants to leave the egg, and Rhonda tells her she must be willing to stop being a mediator. Jessica says she feels like she has broken free of her shell--when she left her job, her boyfriend, and decided to the house and stop hiding behind her masks. Rhonda then gives her an egg from the basket, and says there are five others. The other women each get an egg. Rhonda says we break free of the shell around us when something inside pushes us to start speaking the truth. She asks Allison if she is sick of not telling the truth--of hiding behind her masks. Allison says she is. Rhonda asks them all if they are totally willing to live in the unknown and to break open their shells, and they all says they are. Rhonda tells them each to decorate their egg for a ceremony they will hold that evening in which they will break their eggs and symbolize breaking free in order to pursue their dreams. Rhonda then calls Jessica up to the 'love seat' and tells her that she has gotten 2 steps: Grieve the loss of her mother, and move beyond 9/11. Then Rhonda scoops up Mr. Ozzy and declares him a graduate of Starting Over. Goodbye Mr. Ozzy!! Group is adjourned.

Allison calls Iyanla and leaves a message for her. She is crying and says she is having a difficult time today, but doesn't know exactly why. She says there is something she should see, but doesn’t, and she feels embarrassed about it.

Lisa and her parents are lying in bed and Lisa tells them they are going to go to the restaurant where she worked for a day. Meanwhile Allison is agitated because the kitchen is very messy and wants to clean it up.

Iyanla arrives and meets with Allison. Allison tells her that she had a tough group today, and that she doesn't know what it's going to take for her to see in herself what others see in her. Iyanla tells her that you can't move until you're ready, and that she is exactly where she needs to be. She speculates that Allison may not be ready right now to start over, and that maybe now is not the right time. Allison cries and says she is very frustrated.  Iyanla decided to give Allison an assignment to help her get unstuck. She tellsher shewill be wearing a mumu, kerchief and no make-up for a week. She says they have to 'go there' and that this will help Allison to honor herself.

Next Jill and Iyanla meet and Jill shows Iyanla her plan of action related to her health issues. She has decided to have the surgery in California, and has set a target date. She also is checking into getting social security disability to help pay for the surgery. Iyanla says Jill's mom needs to come before the surgery because they have things to work out. Iyanla says she is very proud that Jill has taken responsibility for her health, and tells her she can remove 9 items of clothing from the mannequin, Mabel. Jill is excited about it.

TJ and Jill talk about the messy kitchen, and TJ says she is trying to give Allison what she needs by not cleaning the kitchen. TJ says Allison's game is to play 'poor, pitiful me'.  TJ says she wants to help Allison by not cleaning the kitchen and getting Allison agitated. TJ feels this will bring Allison's issues to the surface and help her deal with them.

Iyanla and Christina meet. Iyanla says that they are reaching the end of the road with Christina's addictions to money, sex, and power. She tells Christina that she needs tools to help her fully resolve these addictions, and that she has buried these tools in the rock garden.

Jill calls her mom, Lynda and asks her to come to the SO house before the surgery. Her mom says she doesn't have the money or the time. Jill is shocked and hurt that her mom isn't going to be there for her--she says she just assumed she would be. Jill feels that her mom not being there for her means she really is leaving the nest.

Lisa and her parents go to the restaurant, The Stand, and Lisa buys them lunch. Her dad offers Lisa money, but Lisa reminds him that he is not to do that anymore. Her mom says things are so different because they are so used to paying everything for Lisa.

Allison asks TJ when the kitchen is going to get cleaned, and TJ says it may not get cleaned at all. Allison tells her she will not be going into the kitchen again until i is cleaned. Allison feels that TJ is playing a sick game with her and is being too controlling. She says she gets TJ's point, but that TJ is not her life coach.

Iyanla and Christina go to the rock garden, and Christina digs up pieces of paper that Iyanla has hidden for her there. The papers say things like forgiveness, trust, commitment.. Iyanla says these are the tools Christina needs to overcome her past. Christina says she wants to be proud of herself and wants her son, Jackson, to be proud of her too. Iyanla says Christina is the only one responsible and accountable for making that vision become a reality.

Lisa plays basketball with her mom, Valorie. Her mom has a LOT of energy and is very playful. Lisa says she wasn't able to appreciate that about her before because she was always so focused on the negative aspects of her mom.

Iyanla gives Allison her mumu, kerchief and slippers and tells her to get dressed in them and meet her in the study. Allison does so, and then they sit down to talk. Allison says that TJ is trying to be her life coach by not cleaning the kitchen, and that she is angry about it. Iyanla asks her what is the worst thing that could happen if the kitchen doesn't get clean, and Allison says she could get West Nile Virus. LOL. Iyanla tells her that the guests (Lisa's parents) are not her guests and she is not responsible for cleaning the kitchen for them--Allison has been upset because they have guests and the kitchen is so filthy. Iyanla tells Allison to go into the kitchen and tell the women to clean the kitchen--to do the opposite of what she would normally do. So Allison goes in and tells them pretty forcefully that she wants the kitchen cleaned. TJ is happy that Allison has done this, and she starts trying to 'high-five' Jessica--she thinks that her exercise in not cleaning the kitchen has helped Allison. Jessica, however, seems angry about it and asks TJ why she is trying to 'high-five' her. Jessica says she is confused as to why TJ is trying to create exercises for Allison. TJ says that Allison is her accountability partner, and that's why she did it. She says she wants Allison to grow and change.

Allison and Iyanla go back in the study to talk. Meanwhile TJ and Jessica are arguing in the kitchen over TJ setting up the kitchen exercise for Allison. TJ says she doesn't want to see Allison go through pain anymore, and that she wants her to leave and will do whatever it takes to help her through her issues. Back in the study, Iyanla tells Allison that she should speak her mind about how she feels regarding what TJ is doing. So Allison goes back in and tells TJ she doesn't like what TJ has been doing and TJ says she understands. Then Allison leaves the kitchen. TJ now feels that there is a division in the house over what she did.

All the women except TJ meet at the dining room table with their decorated eggs. Allison reads a letter Rhonda has left for them. In the letter, Rhonda tells them to each break their eggs one by one to symbolize the release of their dreams.

TJ is on the phone with Rhonda and is crying. She asks Rhonda if it's OK if she doesn't crack her egg because she is in a bad place right now. She says she feels like the 'bad guy' and that the other women have turned against her.

The other women continue the egg-breaking ceremony. They each throw their egg into a bowl and announce their intentions. Allison didn't decorate her egg because she doesn't want to hide behind masks/decorations anymore. Jessica says her egg is decorated like a star because she wants to dream big. Jill says her history is important to her, and her dream is to be a woman of worth before breaking her egg. Christina's egg is decorated like a swan (it's very pretty), and she says her dream is to trust herself. Lisa says her dream is to make her own money and make it on her own.

Jessica talks with Jill and says she doesn't like it that TJ created an exercise for Allison. Jill agrees. Meanwhile, TJ is still on the phone with Rhonda. Rhonda tells her that she is seeing things in black and white again, and that she is not the bad guy, she is just trying too hard. Rhonda says TJ has good intentions, but that those intentions got lost because TJ made herself the center of attention in creating the kitchen exercise.

Jessica and Christina sit outside and talk about TJ. Both of them think she is trying to act like Allison's life coach, and they don't like it.

TJ feels that the house has divided and formed a clique against her. She says she doesn't know what to do about it.

Preview: Tension in the house explodes. Jill is taken off guard (by Iyanla). Allison tries to find a love match.

Posted by Susan at 4:53:22 PM in Blogging (208) | Comments (1)

Friday, November 11, 2005

Lisa's Parents Arrive and Jill's Health Problems

The show starts with the women gathered in the kitchen talking. TJ tells the women that she is uncomfortable most of the time and says it's due to her lack of self-worth. Just then a fire starts in the toaster oven. Christina was cooking bacon and started a grease fire. Allison sternly tells Christina not to cook in the toaster oven anymore--Christina thinks Allison is making a big deal over nothing. Lisa tells the women she is very nervous about her parents coming to visit today. She fears that they will trigger all of her old patterns of behavior.

Jill calls Dr. Konialian about the surgery to remove her fibroid. He tells her that after the surgery she won't be able to do much for about 2 weeks, after a month she should be able to return to 'normal' function, and it will take 2 months to resume exercising, etc. Jill does not want to go back to Florida for the surgery, but would rather have it in California because she says being around her mom would 'kill her' right now.

Dr. Stan arrives and meets with Lisa. Lisa tells him about her anxiety regarding her parents' visit. She says her mom gave her no structure growing up. She says she was a good kid and always did well in school, but after she grew up and started disagreeing with her parents, the problems started. Stan says her parents raised her to be interdependent and that they enabled her to not grow into an independent woman. He asks her how she feels and she says she is angry and sad about it.

Iyanla calls Jill and tells her she has an assignment for her. She tells her she has taped instructions for Jill to follow on Jill's bedroom door. Iyanla wants Jill to take TJ along with her while she does this assignment because TJ has not been getting along with her housemates. Jill's assignment will be to specifically follow directions Iyanla has written for her--the assignment is to teach her how to follow a set of instructions because Iyanla says Jill has big problems in this area.

Lisa and Stan continue their talk. Lisa says her parents blame her for what they didn't do to help her grow up. She says her dad is inconsistent--one day he tells her she has nothing to worry about and he will take care of her, and the next day he tells her she is lazy and should go get a job. Stan tells her she should have no more expectations from her parents. He also tells her he has arranged for Lisa to go to various jewelry stores today to try to sell the rest of the jewelry she made. He wants her to use her new-found skills to complete this assignment. Lisa is afraid of failing.

Jill and TJ are following the directions Iyanla left. They are driving to a park, per Iyanla's instructions.

Iyanla arrives as Christina continues to work on the art project Iyanla assigned a few days ago. Iyanla comments on how beautiful it is, and then they go inside to talk. Iyanla discusses the photos of Christina that are on the internet. Christina says she has tried not to think about them because she felt there was nothing she could do about it. Iyanla is sending over an attorney who will talk to Christina about her options and what she can do to try to get the photos removed.

Jill and TJ continue to the park. They are supposed to park the van in the 7th space in the parking lot according to instructions, but there's a car already in that place. They park next to the space, get out of the car, and find a note with Jill's name on it that Iyanla has left taped to a trash can. The instructions say that Jill is to go to a tree where she will find more instructions. Those instructions tell her to go to the second trash can she sees, but she stops at the first because there are further instructions taped onto that one. They tell her to clean up the trash that is laying around that trash can. Just then Iyanla arrives and asks Jill why she is at that trash can--she went to the first one, instead of the second, and therefore didn't specifically follow directions.

Lisa goes to her first jewelry store, called Compliments, and meets with the owner, Sam Mona. He asks her for an order of 2-3 of each of her pieces and says he hopes she will be able to produce what he has asked of her.

Iyanla and Jill sit and talk at a park bench. Iyanla tells her that it is critical to her health that she follow a specific path regarding her health issues. She says not following a narrow, certain path is what has led Jill to have these serious health problems because she could have taken care of these issues before they were so serious.

Attorney Ken Townsend arrives at the house to speak with Christina about her internet photos. She says she was paid money for the photo shoots she did and that she did sign releases. Ken tells her that they will send each webmaster who has her photos on their sites 'cease and desist' letters, and that if they don't then remove her photos, they will have to pursue litigation.

Jill and Iyanla are still at the park and they are talking about what went wrong--how Jill didn't specifically follow the directions Iyanla left for her. Iyanla says Jill was cutting corners again, and wants her to see that she also does this in other areas of her life--like with not taking care of her health and not getting health insurance. Jill then tells Iyanla that she wants to have the surgery in California, and that she wants to stay with her cousin (who lives there), while she recuperates. Jill, however, has not asked her cousin about it yet. Iyanla says that Jill's body has been saying to her, 'I hurt, take care of me,' and Jill has ignored it. She tells Jill to get everything lined up for the surgery by noon tomorrow.

Lisa goes to her second jewelry store, and I believe she gets an order there too. The owner, Sharona (?) Fakhadin, likes Lisa's dragon fly necklaces.

Christina calls her mom, Deborah, and tells her about the meeting she had with the attorney. Christina says her mom is worried about the photos of her all over the internet, but that her mom doesn't express it...

Lisa and Dr. Stan meet and again to discuss her parents' impending arrival. Lisa fears she will be triggered by her parents. Stan encourages her to discharge any feelings she has to her parents without expectations about their reactions.

Valorie and Bill, Lisa's parents, arrive while Stan and Lisa are still talking. Jessica and Christina show them around the house. Meanwhile Stan asks Lisa if she thinks her parents are threatened by her new desire to become independent. Lisa doesn't think they are...  Stan and Lisa go out back where her parents are and Stan meets them. He then excuses himself and leaves Lisa to talk with them. Lisa serves them both food, and is looking very frazzled.

Jill and Dr. Stan meet and talk a little more about her surgery. Stan says that people sometimes ignore health problems and have a fantasy that the problems will go away, but they only get worse. He tells her she must plow right into her fears because her health has to be her #1 priority.

Lisa's parents take a look at the guest room, where they will be sleeping, while Lisa talks to TJ and Christina about how annoyed she is with her mother. She says her mom doesn't listen and does things specifically to annoy her. TJ believes Lisa and her mom are very much alike.

Jill calls her cousin, Brian, who lives in California, to ask him if she can stay with him after the surgery. He says, 'no problem,' and seems very nice.

Lisa's mom shows Lisa some clothes she brought for her--there's a pair of unusual shorts and a g-string. She also tells Lisa she brought her some 'Tampax,' at which point Lisa becomes embarrassed and tells her mom to stop talking about things like that. And that's pretty much how today's show ends.

Preview for next week: Allison faces a harsh reality. Familiar faces return to the house--it is Josie and Chloe, and Hailey. Jill can't run from her fears anymore. And Lisa does the unthinkable--it looks like she doesn't complete an assignment again.

Posted by Susan at 4:43:00 PM in Blogging (208) | Comments (0)

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Board Of Review Continued and Allison Meets Tia

The show begins with a continuation of the board of review. Christina is still up at the podium, and Iyanla is asking her whether the escort photo she found of Christina is still on the internet. Christina says it is. Christina says she can't get the photos of herself off the internet because she signed a release, so she decided to just put it behind her. Iyanla tells her she can't put it behind her because the photos are still out there for anyone to find. Christina says there are other photos of her as well--on fetish sites, etc. Iyanla says that this is an example of how decisions made in the past can always come back up later to haunt you.  Christina says she didn't know because she's only 20, and Rhonda immediately interrupts her and tells her not to use her age. Iyanla says it is a manipulation.  She says she's really not sure whether Christina is ready to be at the SO house. She says she is concerned because Christina said she's only been authentic in the house for the last couple of hours. Christina tries to qualify that by saying she has only been 'fully' authentic for the last few hours, but that she has been somewhat authentic the entire time she's been there.  Iyanla looks somewhat exasperated by that answer... Rhonda says that Christina needs a lot of mothering and that her housemates could be doing that for her. Iyanla asks Allison what she would do if those photos of Christina on the internet were of her own daughter. Allison says she would find a way to get them removed. Iyanla tells the other women that they are midwives to Christina, and that they could help her so much by stepping into that role for her. Iyanla gives Christina a 'C'. She tells her she needs a full commitment from her to tell her the absolute truth as best as she knows it, to learn to trust and to develop forgiveness. Christina says she gives her that commitment, and the BoR is adjourned.

Christina is crying over the experience in the BoR, and Lisa tries to help her. Lisa tells her not to beat herself up and that if she is truly committed to the process, she will succeed. Christina says she feels discouraged, hurt, angry, and embarrassed over the whole thing.

The next morning, Christina, with swollen eyes from crying, says she feels like just packing her things and leaving. She looks despondent. Allison gets a basket with questionnaires inside for each woman. They are 'core belief' questionnaires that they are to fill out before group. The ladies start filling out the questionnaire, which is fill-in the blank--for example, it says "Men are (blank)" and the women have to fill in what they core belief is about men. But Christina is still having a difficult time dealing with yesterday's BoR, and is lying in bed crying. Allison goes in to talk to her, and tells her that in some ways getting a 'C' is better than an 'A' because it means she will try harder.

The ladies and Mr. Ozzy (the dog) go in for group and Iyanla arrives. Iyanla starts discussing their core beliefs. She asks Christina how she answer the 'men are..' fill-in the blank. Christina said she normally would have said that men are cheaters, but she instead wrote that they are 'partners of protection'. TJ wrote that 'family is painful,' Jill wrote that men leave, and Allison wrote that no man would ever love her. Iyanla asks Jill why she believes men leave, and Jill says because men were never around in her life in a permanent way. Iyanla says that thought will cause that experience to be repeated in Jill's life. She must change the belief. Lisa says that nobody ever showed her how to do anything, referring to her parents. She is anxious that they are coming to visit tomorrow. Christina says that her core beliefs stem from the horrible things her dad said to her. He told her she would grow up to be a stripper or to be a hamburger flipper at McDonalds. Now she is always afraid of not being good enough, and that fear was reflected in the BoR yesterday. Iyanla says that Christina's belief created that experience for her. She says that you get what you believe. Then Iyanla passes out small rings and tells the women to practice getting the rings around the top of large water bottles that have been set up in the tennis court. She hands a note to Lisa from Rhonda, and asks her to read it aloud. It says that a business expert is coming today to meet with Lisa and discuss her business plan, and whether it is worthy of a business loan. Lisa is afraid it won't be. Group is adjourned, and Iyanla asks Christina to stay behind and talk with her. She holds Christina's face in her hands and tells her that Christina did nothing wrong. The stripping, the escorting--these were things she did because it was what she knew. Christina is crying, and Iyanla tells her that she did those things in the past and she has to be willing to stand in that and tell the world that she used to do that, but does not do it anymore.

The other ladies are outside at the tennis court practicing throwing rings onto the water bottles as Mr. Ozzy watches on.

Lisa is going over her business plan before the expert arrives and feels very anxious. TJ wanders over and starts telling Lisa to 'look in her eyes', but Lisa doesn't do it. She is telling lisa not to freak out, etc, but it's obvious Lisa sees this as an intrusion while she is trying to do last minute preparation before the expert gets there. After TJ leaves, Christina says TJ is trying to act like a life coach, and that if she were Lisa, she wouldn't talk to her.

Iyanla and Allison meet. Allison says she feels stuck and confused. She feels fat and ugly and is stuck in those beliefs. Iyanla tells her that there is nothing Allison needs to 'fix,' even though she knows Allison doesn't believe that. She asks Allison if she has ever grieved the loss of her breasts, and Allison says she hasn't. They talk about silent tears, and Iyanla says there are dangerous. Then Iyanla tells her that she may not be able to help her completely because she doesn't know exactly what Allison is experiencing, but that she knows someone who can help her. She is sending her to meet Tia, a woman of similar age and background as Allison.

TJ and Rhonda meet and Rhonda talks about how difficult it is for TJ to make friends outside of her husband. She says TJ sees things in black and white, and she is going to send her on an assignment that will help her to see the gray. She tells TJ that she is going to go out onto the streets and asks the public various questions--their opinons of things to help her see that people have varying opinions, and it's not all right/wrong, black/white.

Edward Jamison, the business plan expert, arrives for his meeting with Lisa. He says he is a financial attorney and helps people with credit issues, etc., related to business ventures. Lisa tells him her plan--to buy wholesale jewelry and then host parties at her home and sell them retail.

Christina talks to Jessica about how TJ acted towards Lisa that morning. She thinks TJ talked to Lisa like she was 3 years old, and believes TJ needs to be talked to about her behavior.

TJ goes out onto the street and asks people various questions--like what would they do if they went to dinner with their in-laws and cow tongue was served--would they eat it? Some say they would and some wouldn't. She goes on asking them various questions like this one.

Allison meets with Tia Bruno, who is also a cancer survivor. She tells Allison her story about how she got breast cancer at 30. Allison notices Tia's scars on her chest, which looks so similar to her own. They talk about men, and whether Allison thinks she is damaged goods. Allison says she doesn't... Then Tia asks her if she wants to meet her boyfriend, and Allison is excited to do so.

Lisa and Edward continue their meeting. Edward tells her that her plan sounds great and is very enthusiastic about her chances for success. After he leaves, Lisa comments on Edward's attractiveness. He is very attractive, by the way. LOL

Tia brings over her boyfriend, Indy. He tells Allison that Tia's scars did not bother him in the least and that he thought she was gorgeous before the cancer, during it and after. Allison feels encouraged by their relationship. Tia asks Allison if she would like to go shopping, and the two women leave together after saying goodbye to Indy.

Rhonda meets TJ on the street, where she has been asking her questions of the public. Rhonda asks her what this exercise was about, and TJ says it was to show her that people have different values, morals, and beliefs, and that that's OK. Rhonda tells her that TJ should no longer decide what other people 'should' think, and to stop always judging others' opinions. TJ says it is a very ingrained habit.

Lisa calls her parents and tells them what she is learning about core beliefs. They both seem at least somewhat interested and open. Lisa's mom comments that Lisa seems like a different person, and she sounds happy that Lisa is learning such new ways of thinking.

Allison and Tia go to a lingerie shop, Sara's Lingerie. Allison tries on some of the lingerie, and says that if she could dress that way, it would better her self-image. She says she feels sexy trying on these clothes, but she is not ready to buy anything yet. She and Tia leave and say goodbye to each other.

Back at the house, Allison meets with Iyanla. Allison says she had a very good time, and that Tia was just wonderful. She says the best thing she got out of it was when Tia told her that the scars don't matter. Then she and Iyanla go out to the tennis court where the other women are practicing throwing the rings on the water bottles.

They are throwing the rings at the bottles, and Iyanla takes some of the rings, and asks the women why they are throwing the rings--then she walks over to the bottles and just drops a ring over the top of each one. She tells them that all she said was to get the rings around the bottles, and they just assumed they had to throw them onto the bottles. She said they did this based on a belief, and hopes the exercise makes them more aware of self-limiting beliefs.

Rhonda and Lisa meet and talk about her parents arriving and the meeting she had with Edward. She said Edward helped her think in a whole new way and that she is very encouraged by what he had to say. Rhonda tells her she wants to be the first investor in Lisa's business venture, and gives her $100 for the future business. Lisa looks very happy, but is nervous about her parents coming tomorrow.

Preview: Lisa unleashes her fury. Christina fights back to save her future. Jill faces a scary reality.

Posted by Susan at 4:49:47 PM in Blogging (208) | Comments (0)

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Christina's Big Day

The show opens with Lisa talking about finishing up her business plan. She seems to have been working very hard on it for the last few days. Christina helps her with the finishing touches.

Dr. David Crausman arrives at the house for a meeting with Christina. He is an addiction specialist, and he's there to talk to Christina about her addictions to money, power, etc.  He asks her very pointed questions about how she manipulated me into giving her gambling money when she was chip hustling, but Christina is giggling and says she just 'got lucky', and doesn't know how she manipulated them. The doctor isn't buying it, however, and tells her that she does in fact know how she persuaded men to give her money. She then tells him she thought they were all suckers and continues to giggle. The doctor says Christina downplays his questions and laughs in order to downplay responsibility for her behavior. He then asks her about her boyfriend, who she met at a strip club the last night she danced. She says they only talked for five minutes at the strip club; therefore she didn't really 'meet' him there. Dr. Crausman says she is bending the truth and that she manipulates people as a sort of 'survival instinct'. He says she doesn't understand the damage her behavior will cause in her life.

Jill calls her doctor, Dr. Kanialian. He tells her she should have surgery within a month because the fibroid is growing quickly and it would be a risk to her health to wait any longer. Jill is upset by this news.

Back to Christina and Dr. Crausman. Christina continues to say that her new boyfriend, Paul, does not see her as a stripper, and that they met at a strip club is 'no big deal'.  She seems a little angry about this line of questioning. Their meeting is then over, and Christina says she doesn't understand why they are all asking her so many questions concerning Paul. She goes and tells Allison again that she only talked to him for 5 minutes at the bar, and that Paul therefore doesn't see her as a stripper, but as a mother.

The women meet for group and Rhonda arrives. Rhonda wants to discuss follow-through, and she asks Jill what getting to the finish line means for her. Jill says that being consistent is what will get her there, and that has always been what's lacking in her life. Christina says getting to the finish line would mean graduating from Starting Over because she never got to graduate from high school. Rhonda says follow-through is critical to success in all areas of life. Then she tells the women that there will be a board of review that evening. She reminds them that the whole house got a 'C' last time, so if anyone gets another 'C' she will be asked to leave.  Group is adjourned.

Rhonda and Lisa meet and discuss her business plan. She has met her deadline, and feels proud of that. Rhonda is happy Lisa feels good about herself, but wonders whether Lisa has what it takes to follow-through and actually create a business. She tells Lisa that she is going to be meeting with a woman who owns a jewelry store, and show her the business plan.

Christina is exercising and tells Jessica and Allison that she just realizes she has not been authentic in the house. Jessica says she loves Christina, but that she doesn't let her support her. Allison also feels Christina has not been authentic, and feels the BoR scares Christina and hopes it will let her see that this is not a game.

Iyanla and Christina meet and Christina tells Iyanla about her realization. She says she is scared to be authentic and hasn't been truthful with herself or others. Iyanla feels that Christina is coming to these realizations only because there is a BoR that evening and she is afraid of getting kicked out.  She tells Christina to go get the silhouette boards that she made yesterday with each of her personalities' characteristics written on them. Christina brings them down, and Iyanla gives her a basket containing art supplies--paints, brushes, etc. Then she gets out a pair of scissors and tells Christina to cut up these cardboard silhouettes to symbolize that she is 'finished' with them.  She tells her to tear them up into pieces and then use the art supplies to create something from the torn-up pieces. She wants Christina to recognize that she can transform something bad (her past), into something beautiful.

Jill calls her mom, Lynda and is upset. She is crying and telling her what the doctor said. Her mom tells her that if she needs to get the surgery, she should come home, but Jill doesn't want to leave the SO house. Iyanla asks Jill to go outside with her.

Jill and Iyanla meet and Jll is crying and terribly upset about the prospect of leaving the house and getting surgery. She tells Iyanla she doesn't want to go home to her mom, and doesn't feel that she has the tools yet to deal with things at home.

Lisa drives to her appointment with Sarah Cron, the woman who owns a jewelry store called Ten Women. Lisa arrives late, and is worried about that making a bad impression. Sarah says Lisa seems very nervous and when she asks Lisa about the price point of her jewelry, Lisa doesn't know. Sarah tells her she should have an immediate answer to that. Lisa also doesn't know exactly what the jewelry she created is made of, and Sarah doesn't look too happy about Lisa's lack of preparedness for their meeting.

Jill and Iyanla stand on the balcony outside and Iyanla tells her to ask the universe for what she needs. They both put their hands out, palms up, and Jill asks the universe for courage. Iyanla says to ask what she wants from her mom, and Jill says she is choosing not to deal with her mom's problems, but her own. She tells the universe, "I choose to take care of me" and "All my needs are to be met now". Then they both thank the universe, and Iyanla says, "it is done!" Iyanla thinks Jill gets it--that the universe will giver her what she needs when she asks.

Christina continues to work on her project and Iyanla goes out to check-in with  her.  Iyanla tells Christina that she 'knows' Christina has conned her in the past, and Christina looks at her nervously.

They all gather for the BoR. Rhonda and Iyanla are there, and the women look anxious, especially Lisa, who is afraid she might be kicked out. Rhonda goes over the grading system, and then talks about how the house has been on probation. They do a flashback to when Lisa's housemates were honest with her when she didn't complete her jewelry-making assignment, and then Rhonda says that this shows there has been improvement. She gives the house a 'B', and says it is no longer on probation. Then Rhonda calls Jessica to the podium. Rhonda asks her what she has done well, and she says she has not been denying her emotions and has been expressing them. She says she realizes that problem predated her mother's death. Rhonda asks what she needs to work on and she says she needs to remember not to put up barriers. Rhonda brings up Jessica's father, and Jessica says she wants love and support from him, but that she pushed him away by blaming him and not giving him a chance to love and support her. Rhonda asks the women whether they think Jessica should stay or go and then all say she should definitely stay. Iyanla tells Jessica that she should give herself permission to be happy without her mother, and that it would give her mother joy if she did so. Then Rhonda gives Jessica her grade--she gets an 'A'. All the women clap for her and she sits down.

Next Christina is called to the podium. Iyanla asks what she has done well, and Christina reads from her notes that she has learned a lot about herself and is pursuing change. Iyanla gets up and takes Christina's notes from her. Then Rhonda tells her that she is speaking too generally, and they want to know specifics. Christina says she realizes how much she manipulates and has been setting boundaries, speaking out, and has been present, at least for the last few hours. Iyanla tells Christina she doesn't know why she's at the SO house. She asks Christina what grade she would give herself and she says a 'B' because she needs improvement in accountability and authenticity. Iyanla says when she looks at Christina she sees so much tragedy, and says her experiences have scarred her terribly. She says the damage is so bad, she doesn't know if it can be fixed. Iyanla goes on to say that she doesn't trust a word that comes out of Christina's mouth. She says Christina's manipulation goes to the core of her being. She says it is very hard to get a stripper off the pole because a woman has to harden her heart and disassociate to present herself purely as a sexual object. Then Iyanla passes around a photo and asks Christina who it is. Christina says it's a photo of her from an escort website. Iyanla asks her if that photo is up there to this day, and Christina says yes. And that's how the show ends...

Preview: Christina has a meltdown. Lisa must confront her biggest fear. Allison faces a crossroads.

Posted by Susan at 8:25:17 PM in Blogging (208) | Comments (5)

Doctor's Appointment

I have a doctor's appointment, so the update will be a little late. I'm recording the show and will do the update after I get home--it should be up around 7PM or so.

Posted by Susan at 3:06:29 PM in Blogging (208) | Comments (3)

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Allison's Boyfriend and Christina Faces Herself

The show starts with a man arriving at the door with a breakfast basket. TJ answers the door and he asks for Allison, who is still asleep. TJ wakes up Allison and she hurriedly gets ready and goes to meet her visitor. His name is James and Iyanla has sent him over as a 'boyfriend for the day' for Allison to practice being open with a man. James gives Allison a flower, and then Allison excuses herself to do her make-up, etc., before they have their breakfast.

Christina calls her mom and asks her to send some more 'business-like' clothes to her. While they are talking, Christina gets a call on the other line. It is Allison's mom, and she is insistent upon speaking with Allison. Christina doesn't want to go get Allison because she is getting ready for her date, and so she calls Lisa over to talk to Allison's mom--I think Christina doesn't know how to handle the way Allison's mom is talking to her because she sounds so rude. Lisa gets on the phone and tells her that Allison is getting ready for a date, which Anne, Allison's mom doesn't seem to like, and when Lisa asks if she wants to leave a message, she says no... Christina says Allison's mom is intolerable.

Allison begins her lunch with James.  They toast to a good day and he tells her that there are plenty of goody guys in the world. He tells her that his intention for the day is to have un, develop trust with Allison, and give her an idea of what unconditional love looks like.

Dr. Stan meets with Christina outside. He has set up 4 large boards, and each one has a female silhouette on it. He asks her the names of the 4 personalities she used when chip hustling, stripping, escorting and one other I didn't catch. She used different names for each personality. 'Kasey' was the chip hustler, 'Carly' was the stripper, and 'Genesis' was the escort. Dr. Stan asks whether she was addicted to being these personalities and Christina says she was.

Allison is getting ready for the next part of her date with James, and TJ is with her. TJ brings up that she feels like a failure as Allison's accountability partner and asks Allison what she is struggling with--Allison says it's her drinking, but that she doesn't want to talk about it right now. TJ realizes that this wasn't the best time to bring this subject up (because of Allison's date with James), and she asks Allison if she has ruined her special day with James. Allison looks a little angry, but she just answers TJ with, "I don't know".

Rhonda and Jessica meet. There is a camera and TV monitor set up in the room, and Rhonda tells Jessica she has a media consultant coming who will help her practice giving media interviews about 9/11, which is something Jessica is afraid of doing. That evening, Rhonda tells her that Jessica is going to hold a mock press conference with her housemates. Mark Bernheimer arrives to help Jessica practice for the mock press conference she is to hold later. He has worked for CNN in the past, and is now a media consultant who helps people become more comfortable in front of the camera. They practice an interview.

Christina and Stan continue their meeting. Stan tells her to write on each board the personality traits (positive and negative) of each character. She is to write the positive traits in green and the negative in red. He tells her that if she doesn't acknowledge all of the aspects of these personalities, she will return to them and perhaps to her former life.

Jessica and Mark Bernheimer continue practicing. He asks her what goes through her mind on the anniversary of 9/11, and she says she feels the anxiety all over again. He asks her whether she feels the government took the right approach in answering to the events of 9/11, and although Jessica is afraid to answer that question, she says she doesn't think the government responded correctly. He asks what she would say to President Bush if she could speak with him. She says she would tell him to listen to the victims' families and how they were effected by the tragedy. Mark then gives her some advice about interviews. He tells her to speak in complete sentences and to strike a balance between being too overy emotional in her responses and being too detached. She thanks him for his help and he leaves.

Iyanla arrives for group. She notices that Allison looks upset and asks what's wrong. She says that her housemates tried to address her cleaning too much and drinking issues, but that she doesn't want to discuss that today because she wants to enjoy her time with James, her 'boyfriend' for the day. Iyanla says that Allison should share with James her feelings, and that he will stand by her and help her. Iyanla says not to make it 'pretty' for James, but to be real with him. She tells Allison to surrender, and not be afraid she won't do everything perfect. Then Iyanla tells the women that today is an opportunity to be accountable and responsible, and she is going to bring that opportunity in--she goes out of the room and comes back with a dog! Iyanla tells them his name is Mr. Ozzy. The women are very excited about the dog. Iyanla tells them they have to go buy flea medicine for him, and also says she doesn't know how long Mr. Ozzy will be visiting. Group is adjourned.

Allison introduces Mr. Ozzy to James, who has been waiting for her while she was in group. She tells James that she is having a hard day, and James is very supportive. He tells her she makes him feel comfortable. He says Allison just needs the mirror wiped clean so that she can see how beautiful she is. He then gives her a shoulder massage. Allison feels like she has caught a glimpse of unconditional love.

Christina continues to work on her assignment, and James leaves but is going to come back later for dinner. The women realize Mr. Ozzy is missing and wander all around the house and outside trying to find him. They finally find him, and Jessica says it's terrible that they lost him only an hour after he came to the house. TJ and Jessica go to the pet store to get the flea medicine for Mr. Ozzy and they also buy him a cute jean jacket outfit.

Iyanla and Allison meet. Iyanla asks Allison if she's ever truly been intimate with a man (not sexuall intimate, but emotionally intimate). Allison says she hasn't. Iyanla tells her that she will have to tell James about her hysterectomy/reconstructive surgery--if she can't tell him, Iyanla asks, how will she be able to tell a 'real' boyfriend? Iyanla tells Allison to tell the truth to James.

Dr. Stan meets with Christina. Christina has finished her assignment and written various traits on each of the boards representing her different personalities. Kasey, the chip hustler personality, was sneaky, a liar, 2-faces, slutty, manipulative, and cunning. Her positive traits were that she was creative, bold and courageous. Karly, the stripper, was insensitive, ruthless and boastful. She was lso confident and motivated. Genesis the escort was also cunning, sneaky, a liar, a thief and a con. Stan asks where her conscience was when she was behaving in all of these terrible ways, and Christina says it was there, she just didn't listen to it. Stan says he is just blown away. He says he sees Christina as this sweet innocent girl, and he wonders whether he himself is being hustled by her. He asks her why she is giving up the life she had before, and she says she hated herself. Stan says that Christina experienced strong feelings of being powerful over men in her former life, and asks if she is afraid to admit to those feelings. She says she is. He gives her permission and encourages her to express the positive feelings she got out of the way she acted. He tells her she must own all of her feelings if she is going to change.  He gives her a new board and tells her to take the positive traits from each of her other personalities that she wants to incorporate into her own personality now.

Jessica's mock press conference is about to begin. Jill is the MC, and the rest of the women are reporters. TJ is supposed to play the aggressive reporter. Jessica enters and they begin peppering her with questions. She does a good job answering them, even the tough ones from TJ.

Allison and James meet for dinner and Allison tells him about her hysterectomy and reconstruction surgery. He tells her he is grateful that she shared all of that with him.

Jessica says she feels empowered by the mock press conference because she was able to express her views.

Later, Christina tells the women that they are photos of her on the internet of when she was a stripper. She goes on the internet to see if they're still there, and they are! She shows TJ and Jessica, but the camera blurs them out!!

Preview: Women aren't prepared for the Board of Review. Jill must make an agonizing decision. Christina receives a harsh wake-up call.

Posted by Susan at 4:57:56 PM in Blogging (208) | Comments (2)

Monday, November 07, 2005

Allison Chooses Love