Starting Over Blog

Latest SO Forum Posts

i'm looking to get in touch with allison
does anybody know
BIG SO News...(though ironic!)
How Could They NOT Fight to keep the show?!
Please trade episodes with me!

Books

Yesterday, I Cried -Iyanla VanZant
Living Through the Meantime -Iyanla Vanzant
Fearless Living -Rhonda Britten
Change Your Life In 30 Days -Rhonda Britten
Codependency Conspiracy -Dr. Stan Katz

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Goodbye -The Final Episode-

The show begins with Christie in the confessional. She says she is very tired and has only had four hours of sleep. In the confessional, Niambi says she is excited that race day is here. She says her frustration is gone and she looks forward to enjoying the last day with everyone. Jodi gathers the women and they all get in the van and leave for the 5k race.

The women arrive at the race site and set up balloons, etc., for the event. In the confessional, Christie says she is hoping to run on adrenaline today. She says she is ready to have a good time and to express her passion and spirit. Christie's mom, Elaine, and her sister, Cassie, arrive for the race. In the confessional, Christie says she is very happy that they are there and she wants to make them proud.

Rhonda, Dr. Stan, and Iyanla have arrived as well. In the confessional, Rhonda says "this is it!" She says these are the crucial moments before the big event.

The women and guests gather and Rhonda stands before them. She says that this run is Christie's final assignment and she could not have done it without the support of many people. Then Rhonda takes out a bullhorn and begins announcing the Starting Over graduates from all three seasons. She calls out each of their names, and they each run over a hill and gather together. In the confessional, Christie says it is so awesome to see the women who have paved the way for her.

After everyone is gathered, Christie makes a speech. She says she is honored to stand before them and is truly blessed. She says that all of these women, the Starting Over graduates, speak the same language and they all know how she feels. She says she is a changed woman and she now wants to give back and help others.

Dr. Stan then announces the beginning of the race. Everyone starts jogging, running, or walking the course. As the race goes on, women from the past seasons are spotlighted in the confessional.

Megg from season two says she came into the house to overcome her fear of riding in elevators and airplanes. She says she is now doing both. Renee, also from season two, says she came into the house to step into adulthood. She says she is now in school to develop a career in fashion marketing. Nyanza from season one says she came to Starting Over to learn to develop real relationships. She says thanks to SO she is now married and has a solid relationship. Allison from season two and three says that Starting Over saved her life. She says she entered the house with dis-ease and disillusionment. She says she can now "be me," and is in a different world. Lisa N from seasons three says she is now very connected to others. Candy from season two says she came to the house to find her feminine side. She says she came to the race today to show that change is possible. Lynell from season one says the race is an amazing experience and she is very happy to be here today. Audrey from season one says she went into the house to be a singer/songwriter. She says she is now in the recording studio working with a Grammy-award winner. Maureen from season one says she fulfilled her goal up being a stand-up comic. TJ from season three says she entered the house in order to become more connected and more grounded. She says she definitely has those things now.

Andy Paige is the first person to reach the finish line. In the confessional she says she is a firm believer that you can "teach an old dog new tricks." Everyone else makes their way across the finish line. Christie struggles a little bit to make it across, and Rhonda takes her arm and runs the last steps with her. In the confessional, Christie says when she crossed the finish line she felt a sense of freedom, support, and confidence in herself and in her passion to help others.

After the race is over, Christie thanks her housemates who helped her with this final assignment. She then introduces Laura Drobst of the Women's Network. Christie then announces that they have raised over $4,100 with today's race. Laura and Christie hug and everyone claps.

In the confessional, Iyanla says now that the race has reached a conclusion she has to clear up some unfinished business with Niambi. She says she is concerned with how Niambi is holding up after their difficult conversation last night.

Everyone is now back at the house and Iyanla arrives to meet with Niambi. In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi is struggling with not graduating. She says Niambi's real problem runs deeper, however, and she hopes that Niambi's vulnerable state will help Iyanla get to the heart of the matter.

Iyanla asks Niambi how she is doing. Niambi says she hates to leave before finishing what she started. She says she realizes now that she has a lot more to do than she thought. Iyanla then asks Niambi to tell her what hurts her on an average day. Niambi says a better question would be what doesn't hurt her. She says she is clinically depressed. Iyanla asks her whether she has been diagnosed, and Niambi says a doctor did give her that diagnosis a few years ago. She says it is very hard to acknowledge, and conjectures that it is so difficult for pride or cultural reasons. Iyanla says it is a little of both. Iyanla says depression is an internal response to an external event. In the confessional, Iyanla says now that Niambi acknowledges her problem, she can deal with it.

Iyanla tells Niambi that her success was that she got up everyday in the house (even though she is depressed). She tells Niambi they have had a victory by Niambi realizing something else is going on. Niambi and Iyanla hug.

All the women from the current and past seasons have arrived at the house and everyone is gathered by the pool. Dr. Stan, Iyanla, and Rhonda are also there. Stan tells the women that they have had a rare opportunity to change their lives and in changing their lives they also helped countless others. He asks the women to share what it means to them to be a Starting Over woman.

Jill stands up first and says the opening of the show says, "This house changed my life." She says that is completely and totally true for her. She says she came in with a lot of baggage and was denying all of it. She says she can now say "here I am," and she stands in who she is for the first time in her life.

Sommer stands up next and tells the story of getting an email from a woman who was watching Sommer's story (the first time she was in the house). She says the women told her she was a new mother and had watched Sommer's "stupid exercise" and that it had gotten her through a difficult time. Sommer says she wrote the woman back and had to tell her she left the house before graduating and felt terrible about it. The woman wrote her back and sent her a photo of her baby daughter. She told Sommer that any time she feels like she failed she should look at the photo of that baby and realize that she saved that baby's mother's life. Sommer says it meant so much to her.

Cassie R from season one says the SO house made her realize that she could achieve her dreams. Rhonda asks Cassie when she will be graduating from college, and Cassie says she will soon be finished with school. Rhonda says that shows how long SO has been in existence because Cassie started college in season one of SO and now she is almost finished.

Kim from the current season is next to speak. She is very emotional and says the SO house gave her the opportunity to feel her feelings. She says she had been blocking off her feelings because she didn't want to feel pain. She says that now she can give and receive authentic love and she is honored and privileged to have been in the house. She tells all the women that she loves each and every one of them.

Lisa A, also from the current season says 2005 was the best year of her life. She says when she came into the house she thought nobody loved her and she had lost all her friends. She says she now has many friends and is emailing/talking on the phone with them all the time. She thanks everyone and says she is a new person.

Haley from season one says she came into the house a "brat." She says she learned how to get along with her mom and that she couldn't have made the changes in her life that she has made without SO.

Antonia from the current season says she does have some fear of leaving the house. She says she is like a baby learning to walk. She says she has had no contact with her father in 10 years because he is in prison, and she didn't know she even needed to address that issue before coming to SO. She says she realized she needed to address it when she "flipped out" on Cassie for giving her son up for adoption (which reminded her of her issues with her dad). She says she told Jill she was not ready to contact her father yet, and Jill told her to "get ready to get ready." Antonia says that is what she is going to do once she leaves the house.

Andy Paige is next to speak. She says she was nurtured in the SO house. She says it is easier to try when you know that if you fail, the women in the house all have your back. She says once she went back out into the "real world," however, she found that some people will hurt you when you offer an open heart to them. She says all that means is that those people are afraid and just like she used to be. She says when you can understand that, you can make friends with them.

Iyanla then speaks. She says there is one sister here today who is not quite completed in her journey. She says this woman is courageous to not see that as a failure, but to instead move forward in her life. She asks all the women sitting there to be Niambi's accountability partners. She then asks Niambi to share her intentions.

Niambi stands up and says she intends to walk through the doors of the SO house with her head held high. She says she intends to get the graduation statue. She says she has referred to the SO house as the "magic kingdom" and she now realizes that "I am the magic." She says she now has friends for life and a coach for life. She says she has a sense of self and knows herself more than she could have ever imagined. She tells everyone that she will see them at the "top" because that is where she will be. In the confessional, Antonia says she is proud of how much Niambi has accomplished and she will be there for her and be her friend forever.

Iyanla addresses the women and says she learned to live out loud a long time ago. She says she learned how dangerous and devastating silence can be. She says she believe that if you tell your story, it will heal you. She says being a part of SO has allowed her to edit and rewrite her story and doing it in a public way has been a freeing experience. She says she is honored and thanks all the women for allowing her to be part of their process. She says if she has helped just one person, her living is not in vain.

Stan is next to speak. He says he is an emotional man (you can ask his wife and children), and then starts choking up with emotion. He says he feels so much joy and exuberance from being a part of the house. He says he has had a unique role in the house and was somewhat of an outsider, but that everyone embraced him and welcomed him. He says he has been a psychologist for many years and has worked with many people, but he has never worked with the women so courageous and motivated. He says "because of you, I am a better man today."

Rhonda speaks next. She says she loves to see a "soul unfold." She says she has gotten to see that so often in the SO house. She says she has embraced the opportunity to share what she knows and to share with them her own healing and transformation. She thanks all the women and tells them to go and share what they have learned with the world.

The women of the previous seasons then leave the house. Jill then says goodbye and hugs everyone. In the confessional, Jill says she has achieved all her goals and she couldn't ask for more. Jill leaves the house for the last time.

Jodi is next to leave. She is crying and she and Iyanla are hugging. In the confessional, Jodi says saying goodbye is bittersweet. She says she has had an amazing experience and now is a time of new beginnings. Jodi leaves.

Sommer is next to say her goodbyes. She hugs everyone and Stan tells her is very happy that she graduated. In the confessional, she is crying and says she it is an incredible feeling to leave the house with her statue. She says she feels pride in herself and values herself now. Sommer leaves.

Antonia is next to leave. Stan tells her he expects great things from her. In the confessional, she says she in love with her housemates. She says she is sad to leave, but she is leaving a changed woman. She says it is sad, but sweet. Antonia leaves.

Christie is next to say goodbye. In the confessional, she says she is grateful and feels blessed. She pledges to give back and share her new-found strength with other women.

Iyanla then tells Niambi that she, Rhonda, and Dr. Stan want to talk with her. She is the final woman left in the house. In the confessional, Iyanla says before they can close up the house, they have unfinished business with "Miss Niambi."

Rhonda tells Niambi that she (Niambi) is still trusting the process. She says they are all holding her, even though they are not together. Iyanla tells Niambi that she will never leave her ever. Then she says "we have some work to do." She tells Niambi she has statue for her. Iyanla brings out a statue, but it is blank and doesn't yet have a plate. She puts the statue on the fireplace mantle and tells Niambi that when she sees herself in the statue, she will be ready to leave. In the confessional, Niambi says the SO house is like a cocoon, and you leave a beautiful butterfly. She says she has had a powerful, invaluable experience in the house. She says she knows one day her statue will read, “running enthusiastically toward life.”

Iyanla hugs Niambi and Niambi is crying. Niambi then leaves and Stan, Rhonda, and Iyanla stand outside the door of the house with their arms around each other. Stan says he thinks Niambi is going to make it and that all the women are going to make it.

The show then does a series of flashbacks from seasons three. At the end, Rhonda says the key word in Starting Over is "start." She says "contemplate that word in your life and say, yes I can start over."

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Christie Graduates

The show begins with Christie in the confessional. She says today is her graduation day and she is thrilled. She says she has never followed through and completed something of this magnitude.

Niambi is on the phone with Iyanla. Iyanla tells her she is to go to a jewelry store today and choose charms for a serenity bracelet they will put together later in the day. In the confessional, Iyanla says it is a difficult time for Niambi because everyone is graduating around her.

The women gather for group and Rhonda arrives. Rhonda calls Christie to sit next to her and then opens the plasma to reveal Christie's old self-portrait. Christie says she traced the image of the woman in her old self-portrait because she was afraid that if she drew it herself it would look stupid. Then they put up on the plasma Christie's new self-portrait. Christie says she drew this one herself. Niambi says that the new self-portrait has big bold words like cornerstones for Christie's life. In the confessional, Jodi says Christie is a powerful woman and she (Christie) is realizing that now.

Rhonda asks Christie whether she is ready for the 5k tomorrow. Christie says she is ready and looking forward to it. Rhonda then gives Christie a present; it is a box of medals for the runners tomorrow. Christie was unable to get the medals in time and thought she wouldn't have them by race day. Christie is happy to get them and shows them to all the women. Rhonda then announces that Andy Paige is there to take Christie out for her makeover. Andy makes her entrance and in the confessional, Jill says she hopes Andy will be "stopping Repunzal" by getting Christie to cut her hair. Christi and Andy leave together and group is adjourned.

Niambi and Jill are talking about their mother issues. Niambi says when she came to the house she believed her dad was all bad, and her mom was all good. She says Iyanla told her it was time to tell the truth. In the confessional, Jill says it was a big step for both of them to disclose difficulties in their relationships with their mothers because it isn't culturally accepted to air their private business in public.

Andy and Christie arrive at a clothing store called Dressed Up. Andy shows her various dresses she has picked out for her. Christie says she is a little nervous because she doesn't want to wear anything too short or revealing. She says, however, that she wants a dress that is form fitting and feminine.

Iyanla arrives to meet with Jill. In the confessional, Iyanla says Jill is having a difficult time with her mother. She says Jill went and visited her formerly estranged father for Christmas, and didn't even send her mom a card. Iyanla says that Jill does not have a peaceful balance with her parents. Jill tells Iyanla that it is very difficult to speak to her mother about her father. She says her mom feels abandoned because Jill met with her father. Iyanla asks Jill how she would feel if she were her mother. She says Jill's mother raised her all alone and was abandoned by Jill's father. Then 40 years later, the father is back and Jill goes to see him for Christmas and doesn't even go send her mom a card. Jill says she would feel abandoned, angry, and sad if she were her mom. Iyanla says Jill didn't mean to make her mom feel that way, but that is exactly what she did. She says Jill unintentionally did to her mom what Jill's dad did to Jill.

Niambi goes shopping at Jewel Art for the charms to make her bracelet. In the confessional Niambi says she feels that her life is in other people's hands right now, and she finds the loss of control frightening.

Christie continues trying on dresses at Dressed Up. She says she is used to hiding her body by wearing jeans and big sweatshirts and that wearing a revealing dress is a risk.

Jill and Iyanla continue their conversation. Jill is crying and Iyanla tells her that her (Jill's) mom feels hurt and scared. She says Jill is not responsible for how her mom feels, but she should meet her mom in that place. Jill asks Iyanla how she can get rid of the desire to "fix" her mom. Iyanla says to stop believing that her mom is broken. Iyanla then tells Jill to go wash her face and then they will call Jill's mom together. She says acknowledment is the "first step towards healing."

Andy and Christie arrive at a hair salon. In the confessional, Andy says she wants to try to get Christie to donate her hair to Locks Of Love. Andy tells Christie that her "old" hair represents the person she used to be when she was drinking, doing drugs, etc. She says Christie is a new person now and can let go of the old hair.

Jill and Iyanla call Jill's mom on speakerphone. Iyanla tells Jill's mom, Lynda, that she is going to facilitate the conversation and is there for support. Iyanla asks Lynda how she felt when Jill didn't get in touch with her over the holiday. Lynda says she felt left out. She says you just don't forget your mom on Christmas and says she felt terrible when she didn't hear from Jill. She says she was shocked and felt alone and neglected.

Jill tells her mom she wants to acknowledge how her mom felt and says she apologizes for the "depths of her soul." She asks her mom for forgiveness. Her mom accepts Jill's apology and thanks her. In the confessional, Iyanla says Jill and her mom can now move forward with a loving relationship.

Christie and Andy are at the hair salon and Andy is telling Christie they should take off 8-12" of hair for Locks Of Love. Christie is a little hesitant at first. In the confessional, Christie says she would have said no to the haircut if it weren't going to a good cause. She says she wants to give back for all she has received, and she agrees to the haircut. The stylist cuts off 8" and then washes and colors Christie's hair.

Starting Over graduates Kelly, Kim, and Lisa arrive at the house. All the women are excited to see them. Niambi and Kim sit and talk for a minute. Kim asks Niambi how things are going in the house, and Niambi says "it is what it is." In the confessional, Niambi says it is difficult to watch everyone graduating. She says she feels exhausted and left out.

Rhonda, Iyanla, and Dr. Stan arrive. Everyone gathers for Christie's graduation while Andy puts the finishing touches on Christie's make-up.

Christie comes in and everyone stands up and claps for her. (ED Her hair looks great and she is wearing a pretty green dress.) In the confessional, Jodi says she is very happy to see that Christie got her haircut. She says Christie looks very polished now and is breathtaking.

Everyone takes a seat and Rhonda goes to the podium. Rhonda says when Christie first came into the house she was a beautiful woman who didn't know it. She says Christie's goal, Learning To Love Herself, was impeded at first because Christie had so much baggage from her past. She says Christie had so much baggage that she didn't know herself. She says one of Christie's most difficult challenges was giving up her addictions. They flashback to when Christie did the exercise in which she threw liquor bottles, pills, etc., into the fire pit outside. Rhonda says Christie realized that her addictions had become too powerful in her life and she recognized that she had to let them go.

Rhonda says Christie had numbed herself so much with her addictions that she didn't know who she was. She says a major difficult Christie faced was her feelings of loneliness. They flashback to the time Christie's housemates were instructed to ignore her and show how upset Christie was about it. Rhonda says Christie's day of loneliness was a turning point for Christie. She says Christie realized that every time she wanted to give up and numb out, it was because she felt lonely, and that Christie faced that loneliness instead of running away.

Rhonda says Christie next faced her issues with her mom and Christie and Kim joined together to deal with their mother issues. Rhonda says that Christie then had a luncheon with her mom in which she let her mom off the hook. They flashback to the day Christie and her mom met. Rhonda says on that day Christie became an adult. Rhonda says her wish for Christie is that she realizes she has the fortitude, passion, and dedication to accomplish anything she wants. She says "just walk into the future and claim it." Rhonda congratulates Christie and they hug.

Iyanla goes to the podium next. Iyanla says there are no words to describe Christie's brilliance and beauty. She says Christie is the brilliance and beauty of love. She says Christie has sunflowers (that the women gave her when she walked in the room), and that sunflowers close up at night when the sun goes down. She says her wish for Christie is that she allow her brilliance to shine in the darkest places of her life and in the darkest places of the world. Iyanla congratulates Christie.

Stan is next to the podium. He says that when he thinks of what Starting Over means, he thinks about Christie. He says she came into the house not fully acknowledging the depth of her issues and problems, but made a remarkable transformation. He then mentions that Christie will be raising her brother, Cain. In the confessional, Christie says Cain was "hanging on by a thread" and that she has decided to raise him. She hopes to inspire him and help him to become a wonderful person. Stan congratules Christie.

Kelly goes to the podium next. She tells Christie she looks beautiful. She says the first day she (Kelly) got to the house, Christie said she was scared of her. Kelly says she knew then that she and Christie would be close. Kelly says she can scare people a bit, but she is not a scary person. She says her hope for Christie is that she creates a soft, safe place for Cain and that she knows she doesn't have to be perfect. Kelly and Christie hug each other.

Jodi goes to the podium next. She says she and Christie entered the house within four days of each other and have gone through the whole journey together. She tells Christie that she promises to help her with Cain financially and with love and support. She tells Christie to put one foot in front of the other and she will get to where she wants to be. She tells Christie she loves her.

Rhonda, Iyanla, and Christie then go to the podium and Iyanla presents Christie with her graduation gifts. They are giving Christie a vacation to Big Bear in California to give Christie and Cain bonding time together. They are also giving her $1500 to help her with moving expenses and furniture so she can create a warm home for Cain and herself.

Rhonda then presents Christie with her trophy. Rhonda says the trophy is very rare and only people who have gone through the SO process successfully gets one. She says she is honored to include Christie in that group. The trophy reads, "Loveable-Starting Over 2006."

Christie is up at the podium. She says she feels so blessed to have been chosen to be in the house. She tells Rhonda that she has never had someone look at her with such pride in her eyes the way Rhonda looks at her. She says she is very grateful to Rhonda and that Rhonda is her inspiration. She says Iyanla is powerful and that her words speak to her (Christie's) soul. She says Dr. Stan has been her soft place, and has also been the male role model she never had. She also tells Stan he is looking particularly hot tonight.

Christie then thanks her housemates for the opportunity to share this journey. She says Kelly is the epitome of "mother" to her and she always wished she had had a mom like Kelly. She tells Jodi she is grateful to her and loves her. She says Jodi has taught her many priceless things. She says Niambi is her "biggest gift." She says Niambi has taught her a lot, and that she will be there for Niambi whenever Niambi can look at Christie the same way Christie looks at her. She says she will be there for her without judgment.

Christie then thanks everyone again and in the confessional, she says she feels loveable tonight. She says she is a different person and has started over. After the graduation ceremony, Christie goes outside and floats her candle in the pool.

Later, Kim, Kelly, and Lisa say goodbye and leave the house. Niambi looks sad and is sitting on the couch alone. In the confessional, Iyanla says she is going to have a heart to heart with Niambi and that "all is not lost."

Niambi and Iyanla sit at a table and talk. Niambi has brought the charms she bought today and Iyanla looks them over. Iyanla then asks Niambi what she is ready to do. Niambi says she is ready to be honest about who she is and what she wants. Iyanla asks Niambi what she believes she can have right now and just as she is. Niambi doesn't answer. Iyanla says she can't help Niambi if Niambi doesn't have a vision. Iyanla then tells the story of Seabiscuit. Seabiscuit, she says, was a thoroughbred horse, but he was a runt. The trainers, therefore, used Seabiscuit to train other horses. They would have him run against the other thoroughbreds, but would pull back on his reins and never let him go too fast or win a race. She says Seabiscuit was trained to lose. Iyanla asks Niambi if she was trained to lose, and Niambi says she thinks she was in a lot of areas of her life.

Iyanla says Seabiscuit had to be trained to win. She says one trainer recognized himself in Seabiscuit and he took it upon himself to train the horse to win. Iyanla says the trainer trained Seabiscuit to win by letting go of the reins instead of reigning in the horse. She says Iyanla has to do the same with Niambi; she has to let her go. She says Niambi is not prepared to graduate. She says Niambi's vision is not clear enough yet. Niambi starts crying and Iyanla asks her how she feels. Niambi says she is tired of hearing she is "brilliant, but..." and "I love you, but..." Iyanla says that she is saying "and" and not "but." She says she is saying, "You’re brilliant AND you need to get your vision clear."

Niambi says she didn't get to do what she came to the house to do. Iyanla tells Niambi she is not done. She says, however, that Niambi needs to figure out why she has a lack of clarity. She says that is the work Niambi needs to do. In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi's lack of vision speaks to a deeper issue and she thinks Niambi can deal with that issue when she leaves the house.

Preview: Niambi learns what her fate in the house will be. After weeks of planning, Christie faces her biggest challenge, but she isn't alone. The women look back at the house that changed their lives forever.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Antonia Graduates and Jill's Father Visits

The show begins with Antonia in the confessional talking about graduating today. She is very excited and says she has "really started over." Jennie McNulty, a representative of Curves, arrives to lead the women in a workout at the tennis court. In the confessional, Sommer says it is freezing outside, she is tired, and she just doesn't feel like working out. The women jog around the tennis court a few times and then Jenny gives them some tips on running the 5k.

In the confessional, Jill says her family on her father's side is coming to the house today. She says she has some trepidation about the meeting.

Rhonda arrives and in the confessional she says she wants to be sure that Christie understands how organizing and running the 5k applies to Christie's life. Rhonda tells Christie that she wants her to go get her body painted today as a way of fully expressing herself. In the confessional, Rhonda says this assignment will determine whether Christie has overcome her body issues. She tells Christie that she will be wearing a bikini top and shorts to have her body painted. In the confessional, Christie says she is thinking, "Holy crap," when Rhonda tells her about the assignment and she doesn't want to do it.

The women gather for group and Iyanla arrives. Iyanla calls Antonia up to sit next to her and asks her how she feels about graduating today. Antonia says she knows now that she can finish what she starts and that she can work hard to fix things in her life. Iyanla tells Antonia that she will be getting a makeover from Andy Paige today and then brings in Andy. Andy asks Antonia's housemates whether they have suggestions for the makeover. Jodi says she thinks Antonia should be open to getting her eyebrows done. Jill agrees and says it would give Antonia a polished look. Antonia is against it however, and in the confessional she says she is not going to do it. Andy and Antonia leave and group is adjourned.

Jill's father, stepmother, and two brothers arrive at the house. In the confessional, Jill says she can't explain the joy she is feeling at having her father's side of the family all come to see her.

Christie leaves to go get her body painted. She arrive at the Beauty Academy and meets with Jeff Siegel. In the confessional, Christie says she is nervous about this assignment, but is going to talk herself through it. Christie lies down on a table and Jeff and another man begin painting Christie's arms.

Antonia and Andy arrive at the clothing store called Ma Jolie, and meet with the owner, Lisa Stern. Antonia tries on various outfits and finds one she is very excited about wearing for her graduation.

Iyanla, Jill, and Jill's family sit down to talk. Iyanla thanks them for coming and asks Jill's father, Leonard, whether he has anything to share with Jill. Leonard says he is not an "advocate" of looking to the past and wishing things were different, but he is an advocate of looking to the future and hoping for things to come. He says back when Jill was conceived, he was living a very "self-centered" existence. He said there was a stigma concerned with having a child out of wedlock back then, so when he found out Jill's mom was pregnant, he "did the right thing" and married her. He says, however, that then his selfishness took over, and he wasn't able to stick it out in the marriage, and they winded up getting a divorce.

Iyanla asks Jill how she feels about what her father has said. Jill says she feels that she and her father made a mistake (when her mom got pregnant with her). Jill won't look at her father as she is speaking and Iyanla tells her to look at him. Jill starts crying. Iyanla tells Jill she has waited 40 years to talk to her father, and she needs to talk to him now. She says, "you can do it."

Jill is crying and she tells her father that she feels like she was a mistake. Leonard says that is far from true. He says he and Jill's mom never felt that way about her. He says he was just lost back then. Iyanla then asks Jill to share what she knows about the events that led to her father leaving. Jill says she was told that Leonard came home from the military, and when Jill's mom told him she was pregnant, he decided he didn't want a family and he left. Leonard agrees that this is basically the way it happened. In the confessional, Jill says she was thinking all along that perhaps the story her mom told her about Leonard wasn't true, but it turns out it is the truth. She says the realization is the closest she has come to feeling stabbed.

Jill says the biggest question she has is why Leonard never contacted her. She says his lack of contact made her feel that she was unwanted her whole life. Leonard then "humbly" asks Jill to find it in her heart to forgive him. Jill is crying, and so is Leonard and Leonard's wife. Jill tells her father that she forgives him and that she looks forward to their relationship as adult father and daughter. Leonard then asks his two sons who are also there (Brad and Winston) to forgive him as well because his early decisions fractured the family.

One of Jill's brothers, Winston, then speaks up. He says in their family they don't normally open up or get emotional. He says he knows how difficult it is for Leonard to be so open now, and he tells Jill that what their father is saying is genuine and truly heartfelt. He also tells Jill that he and Brad want a relationship with her too. Jill's step mom, Celeste, then says the dad Jill sees today is a "new dad." She says Leonard is being sincere and that "it's real." She says Jill will find love, support, and caring from them. Leonard and Jill then hug each other.

Andy and Antonia arrive at Wax Poetic to have Antonia's brows waxed. Andy thinks it might turn out to be difficult since Antonia's eyebrows are an "issue" for her. Antonia is initially nervous, but then lies down and has her eyebrows be waxed. When it is done, Antonia looks much different and she really likes her new look.

Rhonda gathers the housemates and brings in Christie (who is back from having her body painted). Rhonda tells the women that the body paint was a way for Christie to express herself. Christie shows them the artwork on her arms. In the confessional, Rhonda says it is now time to see whether Christie knows how the 5k applies to her (Christie's) life. Rhonda asks Christie how it applies, and Christie says it reaffirms that she can do challenging things in her life and not "breakdown." She says she has truly learned to love and accept herself. Rhonda then brings out a gift bag for Christie. Inside the bag, Christie finds a pair of running shoes. Inside one of the shoes is a scroll; the scroll reads, "you're graduating." She shows the women and they all hug and congratulate her.

SO graduate, Kelly, arrives, and with her is Antonia's roommate from college and best friend, Danielle. Rhonda, Stan, and Iyanla arrive next. Everyone gathers and waits for Antonia to arrive for her graduation.

Antonia comes in and is very excited to see Kelly and Danielle. She hugs them and then takes a seat as Iyanla goes to the podium.

Iyanla says that Antonia brought power and energy to the starting over house. She says Antonia came into the house thinking she was a "grown-ass woman," but then realized she was mistaken. Iyanla says Antonia came to the house to clear up her debt, and then they flashback to Antonia's meeting with Robert Kiyosaki. Iyanla then says Antonia looked at an issue she didn't want to face; her issue with her father. They flashback to the exercise she and Iyanla did called "pin the dollars on the daddy." Iyanla says Antonia wasn't ready to go any further with that issue after that. In the confessional, Iyanla says that as Antonia matures she will be able to reconnect with her father and deal with those issues. Iyanla continues her speech and says that she and Antonia then moved onto practical steps Antonia needed to take to get out of debt. She says Antonia faced the mountain, which represented her debt, and they flashback to Antonia making her way up the mountain while her housemates blocked her way. Iyanla says her hope for Antonia is that she continues to allow life to bring her people and experiences that call forth her genuine nature. Iyanla and Antonia hug and Antonia cries.

Stan goes to the podium next. He says it sometimes takes him years to help a patient reveal her authentic self. He says it took one minute for Antonia. He says he realized that Antonia had not made the transition from childhood to adulthood. He says that as they unpeeled her layers they also found Antonia's "ethical self." He says Antonia has now made the transition to adult life. He hugs and congratulates Antonia.

Jodi is next to the podium. She says she is joyful for Antonia, but also sad because their journey together is ending. She says she became friends with Antonia, and they became like sisters. She says she then found herself wanting her mother Antonia and saw her as the child she never had. She tells Antonia she is proud of her and that she loves her. They hug.

Niambi goes to the podium next. She says she can't do this without crying, even though that is usually not the way she is. She tells Antonia she loves her and that at times in the house, Antonia was the only person with whom she felt safe. She says there were times when the only reason she stayed in the house was because Antonia was there. She says she doesn't want Antonia to leave, but that she deserves to graduate. She says Antonia has an innocence and a passion, and she wants to "be just like you when I grow up." She tells Antonia she will always be there for her. She is crying and tells Antonia she loves her. Antonia, who is also crying, tells Niambi that she loves her too. They hug.

Rhonda, Iyanla, and Antonia then go to the podium, and Rhonda presents Antonia with her gifts. They are giving her $1500 towards rent, and $1500 towards buying new furniture. Antonia is very excited and appreciative. Iyanla then presents Antonia with her trophy, which reads, "Antonia, Rich in Spirit-Starting Over 2006."

Antonia then goes to the podium. She says when she got to the house, her life was in shambles and she was sinking. She says Starting Over chose her and that proves that everything happens for a reason. She says to Iyanla that she can't express in words her gratitude. She tells Stan that he is "one hell of a man," and Stan says she is "one hell of a woman." She say to Rhonda that she (Rhonda) has "as much passion" as she does. She says she knows now that all three of them were only there to help her. She says to Jodi that she didn't know what to do when Jodi graduated and she thought Jodi was leaving the house. She tells Jodi they will always be in touch with each other. She tells Niambi that they share the same language, but that Niambi's "heart is weak." She says she wants to see Niambi's heart grow strong. She says she and Niambi will "grow old together." She says the house has changed her life forever. Everybody hugs and congratulates her.

Iyanla brings Antonia out by the pool to light her candle. In the confessional, Antonia says her hope for herself is that she continues to be a responsible adult and she knows the "best is yet to come."

Jill, Jodi, and Christie are in the living room talking. Jill is telling them about how her father asked her for forgiveness. In the confessional, Jill says now that she has addressed her father, she desperately needs to have a conversation with her mother.

Preview: Christie could be in for the most dramatic makeover of her life. Niambi struggles to stay positive in the house. Jill tries to heal old wounds.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Someone Is Going To Graduate

The show begins with Jennie McNulty from Curves arriving. Niambi is on the phone with Situation Man (Lucius), and tells him that she has a sprained knee and twisted right ankle. In the confessional, Niambi says she called Lucius because he gives her a lift and tends to make her feel better.

The women go outside to have a workout with Jennie. Niambi can't workout with the women because of her injuries, so she sits on the sidelines and watches. In the confessional, Christie says it is hard to be in the house with Niambi. She says Niambi doesn't like her and is not taking the 5k race seriously because she (Christie) is the one organizing it.

Later Antonia is in the kitchen telling Niambi that she has decided against bankruptcy. In the confessional, she says bankruptcy is definitely a "no-go." In the confessional, Niambi says she is being an ear for Antonia, but is not trying to guide her decision. She says Antonia has a strong personality and couldn't be guided by her anyway.

Rhonda arrives and the women meet for group. Rhonda opens the plasma and shows a definition of bankruptcy. The definition says it means "utter failure or impoverished." Antonia says that is why she hates it and would never do it. Rhonda asks the women if anyone else has been bankrupt. Christie says she has been "emotionally bankrupt." Rhonda says many women at some time in their lives have been emotionally or spiritually bankrupt. She says that women often tend to fill up the "bankrupt" feeling with meaningless things, which only makes the void deeper (like food, alcohol, etc). Rhonda says money, for example, won't make you happy, and even if you married a man with a billion dollars, you still wouldn't feel proud or satisfied if you are emotionally bankrupt.

Rhonda asks the women about their worst period of bankruptcy in their lives. Christie says it is when she went to detox. She says she had to go through the detox all by herself. Jodi says Christie is very brave to have put herself into detox. Christie says she has compassion now for the person she used to be. Antonia says she was at her worst when she was avoiding creditors by not answering her phone or opening her mail. She says she was at the point of wanting to give up. Rhonda then announces that tonight they are having a board of review. In the confessional, Niambi says she has already gotten one "C," and if she gets another she will be asked to leave. In the confessional, Christie says she thinks Niambi is doing "C" work and she is not sure she should be off probation. Group is adjourned.

Rhonda arrives at a park and meets with Christie to go over the 5k course. They walk the course together and Rhonda asks Christie who she is worried about in the house. Christie says she is worried about Niambi. Rhonda asks whether Christie can count on Niambi. Christie says she thinks Niambi will do what she has to do, but that she is resisting her (Christie). In the confessional, Rhonda says the tension between Christie and Niambi is high and she is concerned about Niambi's ability to change.

Iyanla arrives and meets with Antonia. Iyanla tells Antonia she wants to acknowledge her effort yesterday in getting up the hill because it was rough. Antonia says it was rough and that her "tears welled up," but she didn't let them fall. Iyanla asks her why not, and Antonia says because tears mean weakness. Iyanla tells her that isn't true, and that tears can wash away negative thoughts and feelings. She then tells Antonia that that there is a distinction between a goal and a vision. She says a goal is merely work without a vision to which that goal will lead. She says a goal and a vision are part of a co-creative process. In the confessional, Iyanla says she is proud of Antonia taking ownership of her debt and is ready to honor her commitments.

Later in the day, Iyanla comes to the front door and announces that she has a special guest. All the women gather and then SO graduate, Jill, comes in. Jodi rushes over to hug her and says how happy she is to see her. Iyanla says Jill has had some major developments in her life and says that Jill has been in contact with her father. Jill says the first thing he said when they met was, "I love you." She says he apologized for how everything turned out. Iyanla says Jill is having difficulties with her mom as a result of Jill contacting her dad. In the confessional, Iyanla says Jill has come back to the SO house because it is a safe environment in which to deal with these issues.

Jill and Iyanla go to speak one-on-one. Jill says she told her mom that she might go to Vegas to spend Christmas with her dad, and her mom is upset. Iyanla says Jill did not move back to Miami after she left the house, and that her mom does not like to live alone. She says Jill's mom raised Jill all alone and now Jill is going to see her dad. She asks Jill how that might make her mom feel. Jill says her mom feels abandoned. Iyanla asks if she is abandoning her mom, and Jill says no.

In the confessional, Jill says when she is at odds with her mom, she feels at odds with herself. Jill tells Iyanla that she can't appreciate her newfound relationship with her dad because of the situation with her mom. Iyanla asks Jill how this stress is showing up in her life. Jill says she hasn't been eating the cupcake, but she has eaten its second cousin, the doughnut. Iyanla laughs and tells Jill she's crazy. Then they move on and Iyanla tells Jill that she (Jill) is experiencing mind-blowing events in her life right now. In the confessional, Jill says she wants to have a relationship with both her mom and her dad.

Iyanla asks Jill how she feels about her dad having two sons who he did raise. Jill says when she went to visit her dad, she found out he lives in this big, amazing house and they showed her videos of past Christmases, etc., and she felt like, "why didn't I get this?" Iyanla asks whether her two brothers knew about her and she says they didn't. Jill says she needs answers from her father, and she can't move ahead with a relationship with him until she gets them. Iyanla tells her she has invited her father to the house. Jill looks stunned by the news.

Antonia goes over the 5k budget with Christie. In the confessional, Christie says she knew she could count on Sommer and Jodi to help her, but she is blown away by how successfully Antonia has kept them under budget.

Iyanla and Jill continue talking. Iyanla says he told Jill's father that when Jill takes one-step towards him, he should take 1 1/2 steps because Jill was not a missing daughter; he was a missing father. Iyanla tells Jill not to let this challenge in her life regulate who she is as a person. Iyanla tells her that her dad and other members of that side of the family are going to be arriving in the morning.

The women gather for the BoR; Iyanla and Rhonda arrive. Rhonda goes over the grade structure and then Iyanla calls Niambi to the podium. Niambi states her goal and Rhonda asks her what she is doing well. Niambi says she is adjusting well, listening, and is conscious of her decisions and choices. Rhonda asks what she is not doing well. Niambi says she is suspicious and paranoid. Iyanla asks about what. Niambi says she is suspicious of people's intentions and paranoid that she doesn't have what it takes to make it in the house. Iyanla asks her what grade she would give herself. Niambi says she would give herself a "B." Iyanla asks the women one thing Niambi needs to work on. Jodi says she needs to acknowledge her weaknesses and that she still has a tough exterior. Christie says she needs to be more trusting of all of them. In the confessional, Christie says she is not sure Niambi has the capacity to embrace the process.

Rhonda asks the women whether Niambi should stay or go. All of them say she should stay, but Christie hesitates before saying it. Rhonda says her philosophy in life is to assume innocence. She says Niambi has yet to master that. Iyanla says Niambi's story is heartbreaking. She says Niambi was abandoned by everyone in her life. Niambi starts crying with her face down and while covering her eyes with her hands. Rhonda tells her to look up and allow them to see her. Niambi uncovers her eyes, but can't look at them. Iyanla says it must be unbearable to stand in the depth of Niambi's heartbreak. She says she herself couldn't do it. She says the most tragic part is that Niambi has abandoned herself and she doesn't know how to call Niambi back home. Iyanla then reveals Niambi's grade; she gives her a "B." She tells Niambi she would have given her and "A" if she would have trusted herself and asked for it. She says you get what you ask for... Niambi takes her seat.

Rhonda then calls Christie to the podium. In the confessional, Christie says she has been so busy that she didn't expect to get called up today. Iyanla asks Christie what she is doing well and Christie says she is doing "everything pretty well." Iyanla asks her what she needs to work on. Christie says she needs to trust herself more. Rhonda asks her what grade she would give herself, and Christie says an "A, definitely." Iyanla says Christie has a light that is very brilliant, but that Christie can't always see it. She says Christie has a sweetness and a genuineness about her. Rhonda says Christie doesn't always see how much love there is. She says Christie came into the house punishing herself and accepting scraps of love. Rhonda says Christie is going to have a test tomorrow and if she passes, she graduates. If she fails, she won't graduate. Christie asks what the test is, but Rhonda says she will find out tomorrow. Then Rhonda gives Christie her "grade," which is a blank piece of paper.

Iyanla then calls Antonia up to the podium. Rhonda asks her what she is doing well, and Antonia says she has contacted all her creditors, etc. Iyanla asks what grade she would give herself and Antonia says she would give herself an "A" because she has done all the work. Rhonda asks the women to name one good change in Antonia. Christie says Antonia asks questions and is willing to listen. Jodi says Antonia is open to feedback and is now a "woman." Rhonda says Antonia has a passion that is electric and contagious. She says she hopes Antonia will always keep her innocence and her passion. Iyanla says she always gets the "babies" (younger housemates). She says Antonia is edgy and brassy and thought she knew all the answers, when in reality she didn't even know the question. She says she wants Antonia to take the edge off a little. Iyanla says that as long as Antonia does that she will maintain the grade she is going to give her.

Iyanla then reveals Antonia's grade, which is an "A" and has a graduation cap on top of it. Iyanla says Antonia is graduating, and Antonia starts crying, thanks Iyanla, and then goes over and hugs her and Rhonda. In the confessional, Christie says she is "thrilled" for Antonia, but she wonders what hoops she has to jump through in order to graduate. The board of review is concluded.

Antonia is very happy and goes and tells Jill that she is graduating. Jill is very excited for her. Christie, on the other hand, is upset that she is not graduating. She talks to Jodi about it, and Jodi says she feels her pain. Christie is crying and hugs Jill. In the confessional, Christie says she is frustrated and "pissed." Jill tells Christie that she will tell her what Iyanla told her: "To whom much is given, much is required."

Later in the evening, Niambi is getting ready for bed. In the confessional, Niambi says she is happy she wasn't asked to leave, but a "B" is not an "A" and there is room for improvement.

Jodi and Jill are in the bedroom talking. Jill says her mom asked her what she (her mom) was getting out of Jill meeting her father. Jill says her mother doesn't understand that this is the best thing she could do for herself. She is crying because she is sad that her mom is not supporting her. She says it is hard to feel good about it and that it breaks her heart that her mom isn't there for her. In the confessional, Jill says she is disappointed that her mom won't walk this journey with her. Jill tells Jodi that her mother should know better and she can't believe her mom doesn't know she loves her.

Preview for next week: Christie is at the end of her rope. Jill isn't prepared for what her father has to say. The women say goodbye to Antonia. Dozens of faces from the past turn up to support Christie on her big day.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Climbing The Mountain

The show begins with Antonia arriving at the dentist's office. In the confessional, she says she is afraid that the procedure to fix her tooth might hurt, and she is also concerned about the cost. The dentist, Dr. Mark Stern, tells her that he can patch the tooth, but it would only be a temporary fix. He says to permanently fix it would cost around $900. Antonia goes for the temporary patch, which winds up costing her $200.

Rhonda arrives to meet with Christie. In the confessional, Rhonda says Christie has not prepared a detailed "battle plan" for her 5k run. Rhonda tells Christie that she only has four days left before the race. She tells her she needs to make a detailed list of each person's job, etc. She then tells Christie that she uses her lack of a college education as an excuse for not knowing things. She says it is time to eliminate this belief and is going to send over a very successful woman who doesn't have a college degree who can talk to Christie. Rhonda tells Christie that she might like to ask this woman to be her mentor.

Iyanla arrives to meet with Niambi (who is still dragging around her shadow, "Sasha.") Iyanla asks Niambi about the sign she made on the day Sommer found out she was graduating, which announced that she (Niambi) too was graduating. Niambi says it was sort of a joke and she probably did it because she is concerned about having an opportunity to finish what she started in the house. Iyanla tells her that graduating is a simple process and that all she has to do is complete her steps. She says, however, taht there are things standing in the way of Niambi completing her steps. She tells Niambi to put on her sweats and meet her outside.

Christie gets the t-shirt designed for promotion of the 5k. She shows the other housemates and they all really like it.

Niambi meets Iyanla outside at the tennis court. Iyanla has set up a hurdle with signs attached that describe each of Niambi's goals. In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi believes she can solve any problem all by herself and doesn't need anyone's help. Iyanla tells Niambi to jump over the hurdle with "Sasha" still attached to her ankle. Niambi tries, but can't quite make it over the hurdle with Sasha attached. Iyanla tells Niambi that there is no harm in saying she is not ready, and there is no shame in asking for help. Niambi tries to jump the hurdle several times and finally makes it over, but Sasha has become unattached from her ankle in the process. In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi has become very familiar with Sasha now and therefore it is time to create the flip side of Niambi's shadow--the powerful, beautiful side of Niambi. Iyanla tells Niambi that Sasha is not bad; she was simply necessary.

In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi has excelled at everything in her life, but is having a difficult time opening up and taking care of herself. She says she can sense Niambi's frustration and fear, and she feels that Niambi may not be ready for the next step. Iyanla tells Niambi about her new assignment--to attach tags to the other side of her shadow with the positive aspects of her personality. She also tells her that she no longer has to drag Sasha, but can carry her around now.

Antonia returns from the dentist and tells her housemates that she got a temporary fix and can't afford a permanent one right now. Then Iyanla arrives with Edward Jamison, a consumer credit debt consultant. Iyanla has Edward speak to Antonia about bankruptcy options. Edward tells Antonia about the different kinds of bankruptcy, and suggest that bankruptcy probably won't damage her credit more more than it is already damaged. Antonia says, however, that she will not go into bankruptcy no matter what. Antonia says bankruptcy is a nightmare word for her and she is strongly against it and will not change her mind.

After meeting with the credit counselor, Iyanla and Antonia go outside and Antonia shows Iyanla the flag she created. Iyanla really likes it. In the confessional, Iyanla says Antonia has a very steep climb ahead of her if she wants to eliminate debt and it won't be easy. She tells Antonia that there will be obstacles in her way and she brings out several blank white flags. On the flags, Iyanla writes potential obstacles in Antonia's path. She writes, lazy, attitude, etc. She tells Antonia that she is going to meet her later to demonstrate how these obstacles can get in her way to the top.

Cheryl Bianchi arrives to meet with Christie. Cheryl is a woman who is very successful in charity work and she does not have a college degree. Cheryl gives Christie advice on delegating tasks and tells her that she doesn't need a college degree to be successful. She says one of the best skills she herself has is in "rallying the troops." In the confessional, Christie says she realizes now that when she goes to get a job, they won't be looking at her education as much as they will be looking at her experience. She also thinks Cheryl would be a good person to inspire her.

Iyanla gathers the women (with the exception of Antonia) and tells them she needs their help with an assignment for Antonia. She gives them each one of the flags that have an obstacle written on it, and tells them that they are to symbolize Antonia's obstacles to becoming debt-free. She tells them they are all going to be going to a hill and they are to block Antonia's attempt to climb up the hill.

All the women are now at the hill and Antonia and Iyanla are there too. Iyanla tells Antonia that Jodi is going to be her support as she tries to climb up the fairly steep hill. Jodi and Antonia start going up the hill together. Jodi is at first encouraging Antonia and telling her she can make it. Iyanla has a bullhorn and as Antonia and Jodi make their way up the hill, she calls out, "we aware of obstacles," and "watch out for snakes," etc.

Antonia and Jodi get to the first "obstacle," which is Niambi. Niambi blocks Antonia's way and Antonia has to put a lot of effort into getting around her. She finally makes her way past Niambi by going through her legs. In the confessional, Antonia says she had to be like a "bull" to get past Niambi. She says that her body is weak and she is starting to feel numb. At this point, Jodi "turns" on Antonia and starts telling her it's too hard and they should just go back down the hill and give up. Antonia rests for a second, and then continues up the hill. She gets to Christie next and starts getting angry and frustrated that she is blocking her way. Meanwhile Jodi is shouting, "give up, Antonia!!" Antonia starts crying and is sits down to rest for a minute. Then she gets back up and keeps making her way up the hill. She keeps going past Sommer and finally sees the flag at the top of the hill. In the confessional, Antonia says the flag represents freedom to her. She gets to the top and waves the flag triumphantly.

In the confessional, Iyanla says she is impressed with Antonia's determination, but is concerned with how difficult she made it on herself. Antonia tells Iyanla that she could have made it up the hill all by herself and didn't really need any support. Iyanla tells her it isn't about getting up the hill; it is about how she got up the hill. She says the issue is how Antonia handled the struggle; not the struggle itself. In the confessional, Antonia says the easy path would have been bankruptcy. She says she would rather go through the sweat, dirt, and tears of paying off her debt, however, because she will appreciate herself more if she does that.

Niambi is limping after the exercise and in the confessional Iyanla says she is concerned that Niambi isn't asking for help. Iyanla says it is a perfect example of Niambi's issues. Iyanla says she is sending Niambi to an urgent care center to be checked out. She says that is difficult for Niambi because Niambi sees being hurt as a weakness.

The women return home and Rhonda arrives for group. Rhonda talks about mentoring and asks the women what it means to have/be a mentor. Jodi says she thinks you have to have a mentor because she probably wouldn't have made it to where she is without one. Christie says a mentor is a role model and is someone she can trust to give good advice. Rhonda says a mentor is someone you respect and admire who has the knowledge that you want to have. Rhonda then brings up Christie's assignment to make a board with an itinerary and assigned tasks for the 5k. She says she wants to go over it in a little while. In the confessional, Christie says she is nervous because she hasn't done the board yet.

After group, the women go into the room where Christie has her board set up; it is blank. She gets Sommer to write on the board the tasks of each woman, and they try to finish it before Rhonda comes in to see it. Christie assigns Antonia the job of budget coordinator, and in the confessional, Antonia says she is honored that Christie believes in her to do that job.

Rhonda comes in and looks at the board. In the confessional, Rhonda says nothing much has been written on the board. She asks to see the budget, and realizes that it isn't complete. Rhonda seems displeased and tells Christie that she asked her to complete these tasks three days ago. Christie says she got confused and didn't understand what she was supposed to do. Rhonda says she went over it with Christie and she doesn't believe that Christie was confused. Christie insists that she was confused.

Rhonda then tells all the women that from now on the 5k is a group effort and if one of them drops the ball, the whole project fails. Rhonda tells them to get everything together because tonight is the night to solidify plans for the race. In the confessional, Sommer says she believe there will be tension in the house in the coming days as they rush to get this project done.

Afterwards, Antonia calls one of her creditors and gets transferred around and has to wait to speak with someone. In the confessional, Antonia says if it takes sitting on the phone for hours, she will do it in order to clear up her debt. She says she is going to get it done one day at a time.

Niambi arrives back from the urgent care center. In the confessional, she says the doctor told her to keep both ankles elevated. She says they are both sprained. She says today was an exhausting day and she needs some down time.

Christie and Sommer are working on the plans for the 5k and Christie says she isn't going to ask Niambi for help tonight. In the confessional, Christie says it's obvious that Niambi is in no mood to help. In the confessional, Niambi says she is exhausted, tired, and frustrated. She says she is not as close to completing her goal as she thought and she has a lot of work ahead of her.

Preview: Niambi wonders if she'll make it to the end of the day (Rhonda announces a BoR). And Niambi's fate could be in Christie's hands. An SO graduate (Jill) returns to face a huge obstacle.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Niambi and Her Shadow

The show begins with Antonia searching the house for her eyeglasses. She looks around and gets Jodi to help her. When she can't find the glasses she says a prayer to Saint Anthony, the patron saint of lost things. A moment later, she finds her glasses under the bed. She tells Jodi that Saint Anthony always helps her.

In the confessional, Christie says she feels like she is out of her mind with stress over the 5k run. She says her housemates are stressing her out even more. In the confessional, Jodi says she is trying not to take over for Christie, but that a lot needs to be done in a short period of time.

Sommer calls her mom, Dyanne, and tells her she graduated last night. Her mom is very excited for her. Meanwhile, Antonia is in the kitchen trying to eat and avoid chewing on the side with the broken tooth. In the confessional, Antonia says she can't pay for a dentist unless it is under $200.

Iyanla arrives to meet with Niambi. In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi's goal is to Run Toward Life, but Niambi has a "darkness" looming over her that is keeping her from achieving that goal. Iyanla asks Niambi to name the four most dominant relationships in her life. Niambi names two: Situation Man (AKA Lucius) and her mom. Iyanla says Niambi has to relationships which are dishonest, critical, and inauthentic. She says when a relationship is inauthentic, the pain of it lingers inside.

Iyanla asks Niambi to describe how she feels inside. Niambi says she feels empty and like there is a void. Iyanla asks her the color of the "void" inside, and Niambi says it is black. Iyanla asks her to go inside the void describe how it feels inside of that blackness. Niambi says "Where am I? Where is the light switch?" She says it feels like God has forgotten about her. Iyanla tells Niambi that the place inside is not a place at all, but a person. She says it is a part of Niambi. In the confessional, Iyanla says everybody has a shadow self. She says it is our dark side and the place we put everything we suppress and cover-up. She says whatever we give to the shadow always winds up showing up in our everyday life.

Iyanla has Niambi stand in front of a large foam board. Iyanla then traces Niambi's outline on the foam, and has Niambi cut out the figure. In the confessional, Iyanla says that now Niambi understands she has a shadow, and that it is important for her to have recognized it.

Iyanla takes the large foam cutout of Niambi and places it over Niambi as Niambi is sitting on the couch. Iyanla tells Niambi she has seen her shadow side come out sometimes, and mentions that she saw it when Niambi was at the restaurant arguing with Christie. Iyanla asks her to name the characteristics of her own shadow. Niambi says her shadow is venomous, defensive, intolerant, etc. As Niambi names these characteristics, Iyanla writes them on cards and pins them to Niambi's foam shadow. Iyanla tells Niambi that her shadow protected her and took blows for her that she herself couldn't take. She says that when Niambi's shadow needed her, however, she wasn't there for her. Iyanla tells Niambi to spend some time with her shadow and come up with some more characteristics of it. In the confessional, Niambi says the biggest thing she wants to work on in the house is her "dark side."

Antonia calls one of her creditors to see if they will negotiate a settlement. In the confessional, Antonia says her tooth is broken and her head hurts, and yet she still has to call these creditors.

Niambi has written more characteristics of her shadow and pinned them to it. Iyanla comes back and goes over them. Niambi has written things like "Go to hell," and "I don't need this sh*t." Niambi says it is scary to see that these things are inside her and asks Iyanla if she has to be burdened with these things for the rest of her life. Iyanla says she just needs to acknowledge that these things exist. Iyanla then tells Niambi that each characteristic has a behavior attached to it. She says the first step is to call "her" (the shadow) up and truly acknowledge her. Then Iyanla ties Niambi's shadow to her ankle and tells her she will have to drag the shadow around (dragging it across the floor behind her). She tells Niambi that when Niambi eats, her shadow eats, etc. Niambi says the shadow is going to get messed up and all dirty, but Iyanla says her shadow is already that way. In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi is quickly going to make an intense connection with her dark side. She says that Niambi can then stare down her issues and move forward.

The women gather for group and Dr. Stan arrives. In the confessional, Stan says the women don't understand the significance of the 5k run. He says it has a larger purpose. He tells the women that he wants to talk about the race and find out why they believe they are participating in the planning of it. Jodi says she needs compassion for Christie because Christie has never done this kind of thing before. Jodi says she has been a project leader, and she needs to have compassion for Christie because this is her first time having that kind of responsibility.

Niambi says Christie is leaning on Jodi and Sommer mostly, and she hasn't been asked to participate very much in the planning. She says she would if asked. Christie asks her whether she is going to run in the 5k. Niambi says she isn't going to run, but is only going to walk the 5k (ED Niambi seems annoyed). In the confessional, Niambi says the women have unrealistic expectations about her performance in the 5k. She says she is no longer a "performance runner." Stan tells Niambi that Christie was only asking whether she (Niambi) was going to participate in the 5k, but that Niambi's reaction was strong and indicated that Niambi thought it was personal. Christie says that that's all she was asking--whether or not Niambi would be participating. Christie says to her, Niambi's participation is support.

Stan then tells the women that the 5k is about more than supporting Christie. He says the run is about running for women who do not have the resources to start over and change their lives. He says they are putting on this run for women who can't run. In the confessional, Sommer says Stan brought home what they are all doing with this race. She says it is a way to help many women. Stan tells the women that the premise of the run is to help women change their lives, and then group is adjourned.

Iyanla meets with Antonia and asks her how she is doing. Antonia says her tooth is broken, her sinuses are bothering her, and she has a pimple. Iyanla asks her whether she has made any progress in her financial issues. Antonia says she has called everybody and written down the amounts she owes, etc. Iyanla tells Antonia she is concerned about her. She says when she looks at Antonia she sees a gorgeous, powerful, talented woman... Then Antonia opens her mouth and reveals that she is behaving like a 14 year old girl. Antonia starts laughing. Iyanla says Antonia whines and creates drama. She says she is concerned Antonia doesn't have the self-respect and honor to sustain herself. She asks Antonia what she has learned and what will stop her from repeating her behavior and getting right back into debt. Antonia asks, "Are you serious?" She tells Iyanla that she never wants to be in debt again. She says all her time and effort would have been wasted if she went back into debt after leaving the house.

Iyanla asks Antonia what is "anchored in your soul" that will keep her from doing that. Antonia says it is her willingness not to get back into debt. Iyanla says Antonia needs a "battle cry" and a symbol of victorious behavior. Iyanla brings out a blank red flag and tells Antonia she wants her to create a symbol on the flag. In the confessional, Iyanla says the symbol will help Antonia remember "what she is fighting for," and will help her persevere through difficult times.

Jodi calls a MAC make-up representative and asks if she would like to donate goody-bags to the 5k. The woman sounds interested and says she will call Jodi back.

Antonia goes to Big Lots and shops for things she needs to create her symbol on the flag.

Niambi drags her shadow around the house. In the confessional, Niambi says her shadow is named "Sasha," and that this alter ego is combative and aggressive. Niambi tells Jodi that she has to drag "Sasha" all around the house. Iyanla arrives and says she has brought additional tags that Niambi can put on Sasha if she thinks of other characteristics she would like to add to the shadow. Niambi asks Iyanla whether she can just jump on her shadow and "beat her up." Iyanla says her shadow has taken blows for her for a long time, and Niambi shouldn't beat her up. Jodi then tells Niambi the story about her mask. She says that when she tried to break her mask with anger, the mask wouldn't break. She says Iyanla told her to do it in a loving manner, and she says the mask broke right apart really easily. Jodi tells Niambi that her mask got her to the house and protected her. She tells Niambi that like her mask, however, Niambi doesn't need her shadow anymore.

Atnonia finishes shopping and in the confessional she says she is acting responsibly now. She says she feels like anything is possible since entering the SO house.

Dr. Stan and Christie meet to talk about the 5k. Stan says Christie has been looking worried. Christie says she was very stressed out, but is calming down a little today. She says she feels a lot of pressure. Stan asks her what she usually does when she is under pressure. Christie says in the past she has freaked out, and then shut down and used food/drugs/alcohol to "numb out." Stan says she "numbed out" because it was easier than doing the work. Christie says she is doing the work now, but still feels a sense of "dread" about the run. Stan tells her to do what she can do, and that she can't do it all in such a short time. He tells her to prioritize. He also tells her not to afraid to ask for help.

Antonia asks Jodi to go with her to look at an apartment she is interested in renting. They arrive at the apartment complex and meet with the property manager, Rene. He shows them the apartment, and Antonia really likes it. Jodi thinks it's a very cute apartment too. Antonia tells Rene she doesn't have good credit, and he says they may ask for a larger deposit from her if she wants the apartment.

Dr. Stan and Niambi meet. Stan talks with her about her shadow. Niambi says that she wants to eradicate some aspects of her shadow, but she wants to soften the edges and not completely erase other aspects. Stan agrees that some characteristics just need to be softened and used in a healthy way. Stan then asks Niambi about Situation Man (Lucius). Niambi says she has been speaking to him. In the confessional, Niambi says things have changed with Lucius. She says he is no longer involved with the other woman, and has declared his feelings for her. Niambi tells Stan she wants a friendship with Lucius and then later decides whether to pursue something more. Stan asks her if this "friendship" includes sexual relations. Niambi says "this is 2006, Stan." Stan says she can do whatever she wants, but suggests that a friendship with sex included is what she has had with Lucius all along.

Antonia and Jodi return from looking at the apartment. In the confessional, Antonia says she will find out in 24-48 hours whether she has gotten the apartment. She says she is nervous about it. She tells Christie about the apartment, and Christie tells her that it was a very "big girl" thing to do. Antonia says it was a "grown-ass woman" thing to do.

Stan and Niambi continue their discussion. Stan says just because Niambi calls the "situation" between her and Lucius something different, it doesn't change the dynamic of the relationship. He says she is calling it something different, but acting the same. Niambi says she has issues with trusting Lucius. Stan says calling her relationship with Lucius a "friendship" will not keep her from getting hurt. He says Lucius is either going to be what she wants, or he isn't. In the confessional, Stan says Niambi is desperate to have this relationship with Lucius, and she will tell herself anything to continue with it. He says that is potentially dangerous. He tells Niambi that a relationship is destructive if it holds you back and tells her to think about her situation with Lucius for a while.

Antonia works on her flag. In the confessional, she says she has a lot going on today. She says before she would have just called it quits, and she is proud of herself for being responsible and doing all she needs to get done.

In the confessional, Niambi says Lucius knows "Sasha" (her shadow) better than he knows Niambi. She says she wants Lucius to know all the parts of her. She says her relationship with Lucius has not been a healthy one.

Preview: Antonia’s will is tested. Christie's 5k run could be on the verge of falling apart. And the women must step up to the plate.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Sommer Graduates

The show begins with Sommer receiving a phone call from Rhonda. Rhonda tells her that she wants her to gather the pieces of her bicycle and meet her at the park. In the confessional, Sommer says she is very excited and thinks she will be earning the rest of the parts of her bike today.

Iyanla arrives to meet with Antonia. In the confessional, Iyanla says Antonia is "knee-deep" in debt and she thinks it is time to get to the core of Antonia's issue. Iyanla has set up a board with Antonia's creditors listed. She tells Antonia to get together how much she owes each company and says that they may settle the accounts for less money than she owes if she calls and negotiates with them. Her assignment is to list how much she owes each creditor and then call them. Then Iyanla tells Antonia that she understands her (Antonia's) un-readiness to deal with her father issues. She says, however, that an opportunity has come up that would be of benefit to Antonia. SO graduate Jennifer is in town, and she has similar father issues. Jennifer's dad is also in prison and she wants Antonia to go have coffee with her today. In the confessional, Iyanla says Jennifer has things to say that Antonia needs to hear.

Sommer arrives at the park and meets with Rhonda. Rhonda tells her she has earned all six pieces of her bicycle and congratulates her. Sommer puts the bike together and Rhonda asks her if she ever believed she could do it. Sommer says she hoped she could, but didn't have complete faith. Then Rhonda tells her to close her eyes. When Rhonda tells her to open her eyes, there is a bike covered with a blanket. Rhonda takes off the blanket, and on the bike is a sign that reads, "Congratulations Sommer, you're graduating!!!" Sommer is very excited and she and Rhonda hug. In the confessional, Sommer says she has worked very hard and feels joy, but also sadness about the person she used to be. Rhonda then tells Sommer that she will be graduating tonight and then asks her if she would like to stay at the house after she graduates to help Christie with her upcoming 5k run. Sommer says she would like to stay and help.

Sommer returns to the house wearing the graduation sign backwards. She asks Niambi to turn the sign around. Niambi does so, reads the sign, and sees that Sommer is graduating. Antonia also sees it and the two women congratulate Sommer and are very excited for her.

Rhonda arrives and the women meet for group. Niambi has made her own "graduation" sign and is wearing it around her neck (It reads, "Niambi, you're graduating.") In the confessional, Rhonda says Niambi has to realize that graduation is about a lot of hard work. She says it took Sommer two years to graduate.

Sommer sits next to Rhonda and Rhonda talks about the humility and courage it took for Sommer to come back to the house after being asked to leave. Then Rhonda opens the plasma and reveals Sommer's completed steps. Sommer says she is very proud and she can't believe she is graduating. Rhonda says that Sommer has never had a makeover in the house, and then she brings in Andy Paige to take Sommer out for her graduation makeover. Andy comes in and tells Sommer she is thrilled for her. Andy and Sommer leave and group is adjourned.

Jodi and Christie go have a workout at Curves. In the confessional, Christie says she has a lot to do in regard to the 5k run, and she is feeling overwhelmed. She also says she has to see this as part of life; sometimes things get tough and she has to deal with that.

Sommer and Andy arrive at a clothing store called Billy's. Sommer tries on many different outfits, and finally finds the perfect one for tonight's graduation.

Antonia arrives at a restaurant called Marie Callender's and meets with SO graduate, Jennifer. She and Jennifer get a table and Jennifer tells her that her dad is in prison as well. In the confessional, Antonia says she feels immediately defensive and she doesn't want to talk about her dad to "strangers." Jennifer tells Antonia that her dad has a life sentence. Antonia says her dad isn't in prison for life, but she doesn't know how long he will be in prison. Jennifer tells her she had no intention of having a relationship with her dad, but Iyanla and Dr. Stan helped her to see that it would benefit her. Antonia says she does not want to have a relationship with her father, and she is not going to go visit him.

Jennifer asks Antonia whether she can see that her dad is human and that he made a mistake. Antonia says she can see that he is human, but she will not have a relationship with him. Jennifer asks Antonia whether she would want a relationship with her dad if she didn't have her mom in her life. Antonia says she doesn't even want to talk about that possibility. Jennifer says that Antonia's dad must feel very hurt not to know where Antonia is, or how she is doing in her life. Antonia says that is his problem. Then Antonia takes a bite of her food, and a piece of her tooth breaks off. She takes the piece of tooth out of her mouth and says she has to leave now and go call her mom. She says she has no dental insurance. She and Jennifer leave.

Sommer and Andy arrive at Blue Velvet Salon to get Sommer a new hairstyle. Sommer says she is excited about her new look and hopes her housemates like it, but what is really important is that she herself likes it.

IYanla arrives and meets with Antonia. Antonia shows Iyanla where her tooth broke. Then she and Iyanla go sit down to talk about the progress Antonia has made with her assignment. Antonia has not filled out the board with how much she owes her creditors. In the confessional, Iyanla says she knows Antonia is distracted by her tooth breaking, but not doing the assignment is unacceptable. Iyanla asks Antonia when her tooth broke, and Antonia tells her it was during lunch when she was talking to Jennifer about her dad. Iyanla thinks it is interesting that her tooth broke at that particular time. Antonia says she is going to call her mom to help her pay for to go to the dentist. Iyanla tells Antonia that she is a "grown ass woman" and that she needs to learn to handle things herself. Iyanla then asks her about her discussion with Jennifer. Antonia says she didn't want to talk about some of the things Jennifer brought up (about if her mom wasn't in the picture). In the confessional, Iyanla says Antonia worships her mom, who raised Antonia all by herself. She says that Antonia feels that even the thought of having a relationship with her father would be a betrayal to her mother. Iyanla tells Antonia she will help her find a dentist tomorrow.

Staring Over graduates Jennifer and Renee arrive for Sommer's graduation. In the confessional, Renee says she is doing well and is still attending the Art Institute of Phoenix. She says she and her father have remained close since her time at the house and she is very thankful to SO for bringing her and her father together.

Dr. Stan, Rhonda, and Iyanla arrive and greet Renee and Jennifer. In the confessional, Jennifer says she is engaged now, and her relationship with her dad and her sister continue to grow.

Andy applies Sommer's make-up and everybody gathers to wait for Sommer's entrance. In the confessional, Sommer says she knows now that she can choose to feel fear, but not let it rule her. She says she still feel insecure at times, but she can choose not to accept those feelings and continue on.

Sommer enters the room and everybody stands and claps for her. She is wearing a nice dress and has a new, shorter haircut that fits her face. Everybody takes a seat and Rhonda goes to the podium to begin the ceremony.

Rhonda says Sommer's original goal upon entering the SO house for the first time was to Lose Weight and Gain Self. They flashback to Sommer arriving at the house and telling her story for the first time. Rhonda says when Sommer entered the house she was a beautiful woman who had no idea who she was. She says Sommer's sense of self was a victim of every extra pound. They flashback to a wheelbarrow exercise Sommer did the first time she was in the house. Rhonda then says that Sommer faced her food issues and had started exercising, but then got distracted. She says Sommer desperately wanted attention and was interacting with the production crew. She says her brave housemates came forward and told her what Sommer was doing. Rhonda says she and Iyanla had to make a difficult decision to ask Sommer to leave the house. They flashback to the board of review when Sommer was asked to leave.

Rhonda says that when Sommer came back she had to apologize to everyone; even people she didn't know. They flashback to Sommer's second arrival at the house. Rhonda says after talking with Sommer she realized that Sommer was ready to achieve her goal this time. Rhonda talks about Sommer's exercise of putting the bicycle together and they flashback to it. Rhonda says Sommer is a different person this time around. She says she danced and opened up to her housemates. Rhonda then congratulates Sommer and they hug.

Stan goes to the podium next. He tells her he was very sad when she was asked to leave the house, but it turned out to be the best thing for her. He says she has now had a transformation and he is proud to have been a part of it. He says she not only looks like a different person, but she is a different person. He congratulates her and they hug.

Renee is next to the podium. She says she was blessed to have Sommer as her roommate when she was in the house. She says she could confide in Sommer, when she even though she was having trouble opening up to others. She says after Sommer was asked to leave the house, she came and visited her, and they watched Renee's graduation together and cried. She says Sommer had an emptiness in her eyes then because she didn't get to graduate. Renee says when Sommer told her she was going to go back to the SO house and try again, she was initially hesitant, but supported Sommer's brave decision and she is happy she did. She says her hope for Sommer is that she continues to dream big. Renee is crying and she and Sommer hug.

Jennifer goes to the podium next. She says she was also hesitant when Sommer told her she was going back into the house. She says she knows now, however, that it's the best decision Sommer ever made. She and Sommer hug each other.

Iyanla then goes up and presents Sommer with her graduation gifts. Iyanla announces that Sommer is getting a shopping spree in New York City with Andy Paige. They are also giving her a series of hip-hop dance lessons and the bicycle she put together. Then Sommer is presented with her SO trophy.

Sommer is at the podium and first addresses Stan, Rhonda, and Iyanla. She says they all embraced her and she realizes now that the first time she was in the house she "threw their love" back in their face. She says Iyanla talks in "spiritually flowery" language, and Sommer didn't "get it." She says, however, that it was Iyanla's words that echoed in her mind after she left the house. She says Stan called her after she left the house, and it meant so much to her. She tells Rhonda that she knows Rhonda made it possible for her to come back to the house. She says it means so much to her that Rhonda did that for her because she had felt very abandoned. She says to Jennifer and Renee that they also helped her get back to the house (by supporting her). She then thanks her housemates for their willingness to forgive her and let her back into the house.

Everyone hugs Sommer and then Rhonda brings Sommer out by the pool to light a candle. Sommer lights her candle, and in the confessional she says she has started over and finally closed a chapter in her life. She says it is exciting that she now gets to open a new chapter.

Preview: Antonia gets a wake-up call. The clock is ticking down to Christie's big day. Niambi tries to overcome a growing problem.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Sommer's Dance-Off and Jill Visits

The show begins with Sommer about her upcoming dance performance with Christie. She says she is freaked out about it and is afraid because she only has eight hours until she has to perform. In the confessional, Jodi says she woke up feeling exhausted. She says it is a surreal experience being in the house after she has graduated, and a part of her wishes she was on a plane going home.

Iyanla arrives to meet with Antonia to help her make a budget. Iyanla has Antonia write on cards her "wants" and her "needs." She then puts them into two categories on a board. After Antonia is finished, Iyanla tells her to come up with a budget starting with her needs. Antonia has a monthly income of $1600, so the budget cannot exceed that amount.

Niambi is in the confessional talking about Situation Man. She says he responded to her email, but he didn't really answer the questions she asked him. She says she has strong feelings for him, but she finds the situation scary because she thinks he is saying what she wants to hear.

Rhonda arrives to meet with Sommer. Rhonda tells her that Shane Sparks is going to come over to the house today to help her practice her dance one more time. Then she tells Sommer that the dance isn't only going to be a performance, it's also going to be a "dance-off." Sommer starts crying and says she feels stressed and frustrated. In the confessional, Rhonda says today is a "make it or break it" day for Sommer. She says the last time Sommer was in the house she was absolutely obsessed with how other people perceived her.

Sommer tells Rhonda she can only do what she can do. Rhonda tells her she is intellectualizing, and what she is really doing is trying to minimize her own pain. Sommer says if she doesn't do that, she fears she won't be able to get through the performance. Rhonda tells her she will get through the performance, and she has to trust herself. Rhonda then tells Sommer she is sending her shopping today to get clothes for the dance-off. In the confessional, Rhonda says she understands Sommer's nervousness because Sommer still sees herself as an "overweight little girl" and feels that the world is staring at her and laughing. She says she hopes this experience is transformational for Sommer and does not lead to a setback.

Iyanla meets with Niambi. In the confessional, Iyanla says she has asked Niambi to fill out a questionnaire which will help her identify behavioral patterns in her family. Niambi says one pattern is that there is a lot of divorce in her family. She says there are also multiple marriages. She says she has no use for the "institution of marriage." Iyanla asks her to define "relationships" and Niambi says she sees them as consisting of open communication, trust and sharing. Iyanla asks Niambi what she has with Situation Man, and Niambi says she has "a real mess." Niambi then shows Iyanla the email Situation Man wrote to her. Iyanla reads parts of it aloud. Situation Man wrote that he "like the sound" of what Niambi had written to him (about loving him outloud), and he thanked her for her honesty. In the letter, he also said he has tried to avoid her love, but is now open to it.

Niambi tells Iyanla she thinks this relationship has the potential to bring her a lot of pain. Iyanla says that the harder a person loves, the deeper the pain. Niambi says she is "frozen with fear" about getting hurt. Iyanla says it is not Situation Man who is causing her fear, but her beliefs. She tells Niambi she is sending someone over to help Niambi see her familial patterns and to help her get clear.

Christie makes a call to a company that is going to donate medals for the 5k run. In the confessional, she says she is not surprised that people are donating because it is such a great cause.

Shane Sparks, the dance instructor, arrives to meet with Sommer. He and Sommer go outside and practice her dance moves.

Melvin Allen arrives to meet with Niambi. He has a board set up and has Niambi write down the characteristics of her mom and dad in order to identify her family patterns. Niambi says her mom is independent, resilient, defensive, and has a closed heart. She says her mom is not very affectionate, especially towards men. Niambi says this exercise is helping her to visualize clearly her family history and her patterns of behavior. She says to Melvin that she is turning into her mom.

Iyanla meets with Antonia to go over the budget Antonia has created. Antonia has written down the cost of each of her needs and as they add them all up, she realizes that they total over $1700, which is more than her income. She and Iyanla go over things they can subtract from the needs list (like wardrobe expenses).

Jodi is on the phone with SO graduate, Jill. In the confessional, Jill says she is going to come back to the house because she has some special news to share with Iyanla. She says she first wants to share it with Jodi. She tells Jodi that she is going to meet with her father. She says it is a real blessing that she gets this opportunity. She also tells Jodi that she has talked to one of her brothers (she has not met him yet). Jodi asks her what her mom feels about her meeting with her father, and Jill says she hasn't told her yet. She says she is nervous about how her mom will react. Jodi tells Jill she thinks she is courageous and she is proud of her.

Sommer goes shopping at GrooveRiders, for clothes for her dance-off. She looks around and the store clerks help her pick out clothes. She tries on several outfits, but she can't find one she likes. She starts crying and calls Rhonda. She tells Rhonda that she can't find anything and it is ruining the whole day.

Iyanla and Antonia continue going over Antonia's budget. Iyanla suggests that Antonia get a roommate to help her pay expenses, but Antonia is completely opposed to it. Antonia says she would rather work two jobs.

Sommer is still at the clothing store and is on the phone talking to Rhonda. In the confessional, Sommer says Rhonda tells her it's a good thing that she is feeling her feelings and not stuffing them down.

Niambi and Melvin Allen continue their meeting. They go over her father's characteristics and behaviors next. Niambi says her father has had multiple marriages, is a womanizer, and emotionally abandoned her. Melvin says it's important to identify the emotional abandonment issue because Niambi is at risk of getting into a relationship with a man who will not be emotionally available to her (like her father).

Antonia arrives at the Ethan Allen store and meets with Janet Flisik. Janet tells Antonia that she is going to treat her just like one of her designers today. They go over a client's room design and Janet asks Antonia for input. In the confessional, Antonia says she is not equipped to be a designer and she hates the whole thing. She says she would rather hire someone to do this for her. Nonetheless, Antonia picks out fabrics and furniture for the client's new room design. In the confessional, Antonia says when she has to do something she doesn't want to do, she tries to make it fun and worthwhile anyway. In the confessional, Janet says Antonia did well in choosing a design for the client's room. She says she believes Antonia has a passion for design and came up with some great solutions.

Sommer is back at the house and is getting ready for her dance-off. In the confessional, she says tonight is big for her because of her trust and body issues. Jill arrives at the house and in the confessional, she says she is back to share her news with Iyanla.

Iyanla and Jill meet and Jill tells her she is going to meet with her father. Jill says she had a fantasy about how she would meet her father; she would be in her dressing room and he would walk in, etc. She says she has now realized that this fantasy was perhaps "false pride." Iyanla tells Jill that she is the gift (to her father), and she doesn't need to be successful or have gifts for him. She tells Jill she is not meeting him for acceptance or approval, but for love. Iyanla then asks Jill whether she has told her mom. Jill says the situation with her mom is "not good." In the confessional, Iyanla says the parent who raised a child all by herself may feel very threatened when the absent parent shows up. Jill says her mom hasn't verbalized her displeasure, but there is an energy there that Jill is betraying her mom by meeting with the father after all he did to her mom. Iyanla says there is never a case in which one person did all the bad things in a relationship; both people are always involved. Iyanla also says that Jill wants to meet and know her father, and it is as simple as that. Then Iyanla gives Jill a bracelet. In the confessional, Jill says after she watches Sommer's dance-off, she is going to go meet her dad, and she doesn't know what is going to happen.

Niambi has a short phone conversation with Situation Man. They joke with each other a little bit, and then he tells her to tell Sommer good luck at her dance competition.

Sommer arrives at Burbank Bar and Grill, where she will be competing in the dance-off. Shane Sparks is already there waiting for her and they go over her dance steps one last time. He tells her that her song will be the 11th song (10 other dance competitors will go before her). The housemates arrive as does Rhonda and Jill. In the confessional, Rhonda says the last time Sommer was at the house, she couldn't physically express herself at all. She hopes Sommer will be able to get over her body issues.

Shane is the MC for the dance competition. He announces each dancer and they go on stage and do a short performance. In the confessional, Sommer says she is freaking out and is not excited about dancing, but is instead scared. She says she just wants to get through it. Shane then introduces Sommer and she comes on stage and starts dancing (ED She is quite good and seems relaxed). In the confessional, Christie says she was very impressed with Sommer's dancing and didn't know she could move that way. In the confessional, Jodi says Sommer's dancing was awesome and very "high-energy." She says it was a pleasure to watch.

After the competition, Shane announces that Sommer is the "hottest dancer in America tonight." (ED I'm assuming she won the competition). In the confessional, Sommer says she had fun with the dance and she is very relieved it is over. She says she is trusting in herself and embracing being herself.

Preview: Christie begins to really feel the heat. Sommer gets a big surprise. Antonia gets a visit she wasn't ready for.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Jodi Graduates

The show begins with Jodi and Christie talking about Niambi and what happened at Jodi's graduation dinner last night. In the confessional, Jodi says it is a "bummer" that that there was so much tension at the dinner, but she says she is not going to let anyone take away her excitement about graduating today. In the confessional, Christie says Niambi's problems are not with her (Christie), but with herself. She says she is going to stand in her truth.

The women gather and Iyanla arrives for group. Iyanla asks Jodi to name her best change while in the house. Jodi says it is giving up control. She says giving it up gave her a sense of peace and a calmness that she loves. Antonia starts crying and Iyanla asks her what is wrong. Antonia holds Jodi's hand and tells her she doesn't want her to leave. Iyanla reminds her that Jodi will be staying on as a mentor, but Antonia says she never wants Jodi to leave. She says she loves Jodi. Jodi says she loves her too. Antonia says she has never seen any control issues with Jodi and that Jodi has always been good to her. Iyanla says that being in the house can awaken a depth of love that we may not have known existed.

Iyanla opens the plasma and shows Jodi's old self-portrait, which looks like a big sun with a frowning face. Jodi says she used to be on a "sunny" outside, but on the inside she was sad and lonely. Iyanla then shows Jodi's new self-portrait. In this one, Jodi has drawn herself surrounded by hearts. Sommer says it looks like Jodi has all she needs. Niambi says Jodi looks to be surrounded by grace and beauty. Iyanla says Jodi is connected to the things she loves. Iyanla tells Jodi that Andy Paige will be at the house later to take Jodi for her graduation makeover.

Iyanla then asks Niambi and Christie how things are going between them. In the confessional, Iyanla says that in order to support them, she is going to intervene in their dispute. Iyanla tells the two women that she is going to meet with them both to help settle things. Niambi says she is happy to hear that. In the confessional, Niambi says she hasn't spoken to Christie since last night, and she has some "choice words" for her. Group is adjourned.

Jodi leaves to meet Andy Paige. Farah arrives to meet with Antonia. In the confessional, Iyanla says it is very important for Antonia to step up and take her assignment seriously. Antonia and Farah go over the guest room floor plan together. In the confessional, Antonia says she is tired, but is going to stick it out. She says in the past she has given up when things got difficult, but she is going to finish this assignment.

Iyanla, Christie, and Niambi meet. In the confessional, Iyanla says she is going to support them in expressing their anger in a safe way. Iyanla tells them both to take this opportunity to clear up any difficulties between them. Niambi says she will start. She says she was tense at the dinner last night. She says what sent her over the edge was when Christie asked someone (I didn't hear who) to hold her hand and give her support when Jodi found out she was graduating. Niambi says that incident was just another example of how everyone has to "fall all over" themselves to support Christie. Niambi says Christie takes everything from everybody. She says nobody can drink because they all have to support Christie. She says "enough is enough."

Niambi continues and says what she felt from Christie from the moment she walked through the door is judgment. She says Christie judged her and said she wasn't supportive enough and not "present." Niambi says she thought everybody had to follow the rules of the house, but Christie seems to follow a different set of rules. In the confessional, Niambi says Christie doesn't practice what she preaches. In the confessional, Christie says she thinks she represents the "typical white woman" who has oppressed Niambi. Iyanla asks Christie to share her thoughts. Christie says she has a great deal of compassion for Niambi and that she "looks up to her." She says that she was trying to support Niambi, but Niambi told her that when she needed support, she would ask for it. Christie says she gave up after that. She says she didn't want to be perceived as a "bitch," and so she didn't want to call Niambi out anymore. Christie says she started "walking on eggshells" around Niambi. She says Niambi can be nice and loving and then turn angry in a flash.

Niambi says Christie is not new in the house and thinks she should set a better example. She says Christie should have showed her what support looked like. Christie says she doesn't know how to approach Niambi without looking like a "bitch."

Jodi meets Andy Paige at a clothing store. She tries on outfits and Andy helps her find a good one for her body type. In th confessional, Jodi says the outfit she chose is cute and different. She says she is mostly just happy to be spending time with Andy today.

An Ethan Allen delivery truck arrives and they deliver the furniture for the guest room. In the confessional, Antonia says the room is looking the way she had envisioned it and she is proud of herself.

Jodi and Andy are now arriving at a hair salon for Jodi's hair makeover. Andy says she wants Jodi to have a straight look with some curl to give her a modern appearance.

Iyanla continues talking with Niambi and Christie. She thanks them both for their honesty. She tells Christie that the reason she is having difficulties with Niambi is because Niambi represents who Christie used to be and she also represents a part of Christie that Christie has yet to embrace about herself. Christie agrees and asks Iyanla what she should do to embrace that side of herself. Iyanla says she has to stop judging it. Iyanla tells Niambi that Christie triggers her feelings about her (Niambi's) mother. She tells Niambi that she has to "clean up" her stuff. She says it is great that the two women trigger each other so much because it means they have a great opportunity to heal. Niambi and Christie are both crying and Christie hugs Niambi and tells her she loves her. Niambi tells her that she reminds her of things she needs to work on within herself. In the confessional, Niambi says she is going to do the best she can and she knows there are not shortcuts. She says the issue with Christie makes her realize she is still struggling with feeling worthy.

Jodi and Andy Paige arrive back at the house from the makeover. Then Rhonda, Iyanla, and Dr. Stan arrive for the graduation. Everyone gathers and waits for Jodi to make her entrance. Jodi comes in and the women clap for her. She has a very pretty new hairstyle and is wearing a flattering outfit. Jodi takes her seat and Iyanla goes to the podium. Iyanla says it wouldn't be a graduation without special guests. She then brings in SO graduates, Kelly and Jill. Then Jodi's mom, Karen, enters.

Iyanla begins the ceremony by saying that it was an honor to see Jodi's transformation. She says to see Jodi in "full flower" is a joy and she is honored to have participated in the unfolding. Then they do a flashback to Jodi's first day in the house when she told her story. Iyanla says that like so many of use, Jodi had lost her vision. They flashback to the first mirror exercise Jodi did. Iyanla says Jodi was in deep denial and needed a reality check. They flashback to the board of review when Jodi got a "C." Iyanla says that BoR was shocking for Jodi because in the past Jodi's efforts had always led to external successes. She says, however, that Jodi didn't need external success; she needed to go inside and discover herself.

Iyanla says Jodi then needed to take her mom off the pedestal and get her dad out of the mud. They flashback to an exercise Jodi did regarding that issue in her life. Iyanla says it took a while for Jodi to allow herself to feel, and she first began that process with the mask exercise. They flashback to Jodi painting the mask and her housemates evaluating it. Iyanla says Jodi was pretending to be happy and was in reality trying to control everyone around her. Iyanla says then it was time to let the mask go and they flashback to when Jodi threw her mask off the balcony. Then they flashback to the second mirror exercise Jodi did after she initially threw away her mask.

Iyanla says not to ever think you're done. She says when you're done, you're dead, and she says there are many ways to die. She says you can die to your dreams and to your vision. She says Jodi was "dead" to those things because she was not humble enough to receive them. Iyanla says her hope for Jodi is that she allows herself to be a "beacon of light" as a reminder to women to show up and "be." She tells Jodi she loves her and they hug each other. Jodi tells Iyanla she loves her too.

Rhonda goes to the podium next. She says when she looks at Jodi she sees a woman of great femininity. She says she hopes Jodi will continue to embrace her femininity, release freely and "wear more skirts." Jodi and Rhonda hug.

Dr. Stan is next up to the podium. He says he has a different take on Jodi. He says he saw her as a scared little girl who was still mediating in her parent's divorce. He says Jodi has done intense work on herself in the house and has achieved a great accomplishment. He says Jodi is an attractive, energetic, smart woman who any man would appreciate. He says she is a woman of incredible vitality with a remarkable spirit. He says his hope for Jodi is that she finds a man who accepts her for who she is.

Christie is next up to the podium. She says she had an instant connection with Jodi and is honored to have been on the journey with her. She thanks Jodi for accepting her and being so giving to her. She says her hope for Jodi is that she keeps shining her light. She tells Jodi she loves her and they hug.

Jill goes up to the podium next. She says that she has learned that we really all want the same thing--to be loved and respected. She says the Jodi she sees now is the Jodi she always knew was inside. She tells her she loves her.

Rhonda then presents Jodi with her graduation gift. They are giving her a 7-night stay at a singles' resort to "mingle with other singles." Iyanla then presents Jodi with her Starting Over trophy, which reads, "A Filled Cup-Starting Over 2005."

Jodi then goes to the podium. She says she is speechless because her heart is filled with so much gratitude. She thanks Iyanla and says she knows she was a challenge for her (Iyanla agrees). Jodi says she was also a challenge for herself and her problems were like a puzzle she couldn't figure out. She says Iyanla helped her find her way and instilled in her a passion and a passion to live. She says she will thank Iyanla by living life to the fullest. Jodi tells Rhonda that a lot of times she (Jodi) just couldn't "get it." She thanks Rhonda for helping her get it. Jodi then thanks Dr. Stan and says he opened her eyes. She says she was in denial and he helped her to see. She says now any man she dates will have to measure up to Stan.

Jodi then turns to Kelly and tells her that she loves the fact that they had to struggle in their friendship because she says the most difficult relationships are the ones that teach you the most. Jodi tells Christie that she has learned compassion from her. She says she will be there for her when Christie crosses the finish line. Jodi tells her mom that she looks forward to interacting with her in an authentic way. She tells her mom that she couldn't save her; that she had to save herself. She says she has in fact saved herself now and says she is ready to go live her life. She thanks everyone and says she loves them.

Iyanla and Jodi walk out to the pool together and Jodi tells Iyanla that she is very lucky to have Iyanla in her life. Iyanla gives Jodi a candle to float in the pool. In the confessional, Jodi says she has finally graduated and sees a bright future ahead. She says she feels amazing.

Jodi's mom, Karen, and Jodi stand outside together talking. Karen tells Jodi she now has the tools and the support she needs. And she says she also has her mom. Karen says she has taken off her mask too.

Preview: Sommer gets cold feet on her performance day. Niambi opens up about a growing fear. Christie feels like she is running out of time. Antonia refuses to face her issues with her father and her future in the house is unclear.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Jodi and Her Mom and The Argument

The show begins with Iyanla arriving to meet with Niambi. Iyanla tells Niambi that she looks like she is feeling better. Niambi says she emailed Lucius (AKA Situation Man), and he emailed her back. Niambi says he was supportive and encouraging in his letter and told her he misses her. Niambi, however, says she is still undecided about what she wants regarding the relationship. Iyanla says she doesn't believe that for a second. Niambi says she doesn't want to voice what she wants because she is afraid she can't have it.

Rhonda arrives to meet with Sommer. Rhonda tells Sommer to go put on a tank top. When Sommer returns, Rhonda writes on Sommer: She writes "full" on Sommer's left arm, "body" across Sommer's forehead and "expression" down Sommer's right arm. In the confessional, Rhonda says these words are to remind Sommer to embrace her body. She tells Sommer that she will be doing a dance performance for her housemates in two days. She is sending Sommer to the dance studio to meet with an instructor and choreograph a routine.

Iyanla and Niambi continue talking. Iyanla tells Niambi that we draw to ourselves what we are. She says if Lucius is lying and dishonest, it means Niambi is lying and dishonest about something. She tells Niambi to stop lying and asks her what she wants. Niambi says she wants to love Lucius "out loud." Iyanla asks Niambi if she is ready to be "healed" and Niambi says she is ready. Iyanla takes Niambi to the computer and tells her to write an email to Lucius. Then Iyanla tells her exactly what to write. Iyanla tells her to write "The Whole Truth" as the subject. She then tells her to write (paraphrased somewhat): "Please forgive me for being dishonest and a punk. The truth of the matter is I want to love you out loud, but was too proud to admit it. Forgive me for judging you for your bad behavior when I've done the same behavior. I'm getting better. I want to explore the possibilities for us both."

Niambi asks Iyanla whether she can tell him in the email that Iyanla made her write it. Iyanla says no and tells her to hit "send." Niambi sends the email. In the confessional, Niambi says when she hit send she wanted to throw up. She says she wants to take the email back because she feels stupid and scared for having sent it.

Iyanla tells Niambi that the way to deal with fear is to confront it, and that's what Niambi just did by sending the email.

Farah arrives to meet with Antonia about the guest room. They discuss the painting of the room, and Farah tells her what needs to be painted, etc. In the confessional, Antonia says she hopes her housemates will help her paint the room.

Iyanla and Jodi meet. In the confessional, Iyanla says Jodi thought she was ready to graduate before, but now she is going to get ready by tying up some loose ends. Iyanla talks to Jodi about tying up the loose ends in regards to her mom. Jodi says she does want to talk with her mom and find out what happened when Jodi was sent to live with her dad. Iyanla says she has someone she wants Jodi to speak with who can help Jodi with this issue. Iyanla leaves the room and comes back with Jodi's mom. Jodi is very excited to see her and Jodi and her mom, Karen, hug and cry when they greet each other. In the confessional, Jodi says she woke up this morning wanting to see her mom, and it is wonderful that she is at the house. She says it "feels her heart."

Iyanla tells Karen that Jodi has some things she wants to go over with her. Jodi asks her mom what happened when she went to live with her dad. She tells her mom that she can't even remember that time in her life. Karen says she had an abnormal pap test and was told she had to have an hysterectomy. She "freaked out" about the news, and lost her job. She had to go to a mental hospital to deal with things, and she sent Jodi to her dad's during that time. She says she was afraid she was going to die of ovarian cancer like her mom did. Jodi thanks her mom for being so forthright.

Sommer arrives at the Millennium Dance Complex and meets with Shane Sparks. He introduces his assistant, Rachel Kay. Shane and Rachel help Sommer put together a dance routine. In the confessional, Sommer says that every time she messes up, she gets more paranoid about dancing in front of people. She can't believe she only has two days to get it together.

Jodi, her mom, and Iyanla continue talking. Iyanla asks Jodi if there is anything more she needs to tell her mom. Jodi tells her mom that she had bulimia, but that when she told her mom about it, her mom didn't take it seriously. She tells her mom she was sometimes throwing up as much as three times a day. She says it was a cry for help. Karen apologizes to Jodi and says she was in denial. She says she just couldn't believe it was happening and she is really sorry she wasn't there for Jodi. Iyanla says that Karen has made a powerful acknowledgement. She says there are hundreds of thousands of daughters and sons who never get to here there mother acknowledge something like that. Iyanla then gives Karen and Jodi each a journal. She says the journals contain a timeline and she wants the two of them to go over their timelines together and fill in any missing pieces for each other.

Antonia is in the guest room painting. In the confessional, she says she is very stressed out. She says she hopes her housemates will help her, but she knows that they have things going on today. She says she didn't ask for their help, but she hopes they will volunteer.

Sommer continues her dance lesson. After it is over, Shane gives her a few pointers, and tells her to keep going over the routine. In the confessional, Sommer says she can only do what she can do. She says she has some fear and anxiety about the performance.

Jodi and Karen go to have coffee together. While they are there they go over questions that are written in the journals Iyanla gave them. One question is about body image issues. Karen tells Jodi that she didn't want to believe that she had bulimia and again says she is sorry for letting her down. Jodi says she had foods that would trigger her bulimia. Karen says she wants to know which foods are triggers for Jodi. She says she wants to know and she now accepts Jodi's problem. She says she wants to be there for Jodi and starts crying.

Jodi lists her trigger foods and her mom listens. Karen tells Jodi she is committed to her. Jodi says she feels that Karen has heard her. In the confessional, Jodi says she and her mom have an even deeper connection now. She says it is nice to be as honest as she can be with her mom about her struggles with bulimia and with men.

Back at the house, Christie asks Antonia whether she needs help painting. Antonia walks out of the room and says Christie can help if she wants to help. In the confessional, Antonia says it's obvious she needs help. She says she knows everybody in the house is not going to cater to her, and she is not going to ask them for help when they already knows she needs it.

Antonia is painting the room by herself. Jodi, Christie, and Karen are taking photos of each other. Niambi goes to help Antonia Then the women (with the exception of Niambi) wait in the living room for Antonia because they are all going to take Karen out to eat. In the confessional, Antonia says all the women should have helped her, and not just Niambi. Niambi and Antonia continue painting as the other women wait in the living room for them. In the confessional, Antonia says Christie doesn't want to help. She says she is not there for you when you need anything.

Niambi and Antonia clean up and get ready to go out to dinner with the other women. In the confessional, Christie says she could feel the tension from Niambi and Antonia before they even left for the restaurant. The women all get into the van and drive to Vittrio's Restaurant.

In the confessional, Niambi says she is feeling upset, but doesn't want to say anything in front of Jodi's mom. She says she is mostly upset with Christie. The women sit down to eat and Christie tells Niambi and Antonia that the SO house is a "dry house." Antonia says she wasn't there when that commitment was made, and Christie tells Antonia she is and adult and can decide for herself whether to have a drink at the restaurant. In the confessional, Niambi says she can understand the "dry house" rule, but she would like to have a cocktail at dinner and doesn't find that unreasonable. She says everybody has to do without because of Christie. In the confessional, Christie says Niambi is making sounds (of displeasure) at the table, and she wishes Niambi would just grow up.

Iyanla surprises everyone and arrives with a cake for Jodi. The cake says, "Congratulations, You're Graduating." In the confessional, Jodi says she knew in her soul that tonight was the night she was going to find out she was graduating. In the confessional, Sommer says she is very excited for Jodi, but there is a lot of anger at the table. Christie asks Niambi if she has something to say. Niambi says she is "extremely disappointed" that nobody helped Antonia paint. Antonia says she thought they were there to help each other. Christie says when she needs help she asks for it. In the confessional, Jodi says she is disappointed that they are behaving this way at her graduation celebration, but she says they are in the SO house for a reason.

Jodi tells Antonia that she offered to help her after her mom left. Antonia says she understands why Jodi didn't help because if her mom (Antonia's) were there, she would want to spend every waking moment with her too. Antonia says that Sommer and Christie, however, should have helped. Christie says that Antonia has "expectations." In the confessional, Christie says Antonia is being selfish. Antonia says she is not upset and then Iyanla speaks up and says that's absolutely untrue. Antonia tries to interupt her, but Iyanla tells her she is not going to let her do that. Iyanla says that this didn't need to happen at a restaurant. She says, however, that since it's already happening, they might as well have it out now.

Niambi says the other women (Sommer and Christie) are not being supportive. She says she is always jumped on for not being supportive enough. Iyanla asks Niambi what Antonia has to do with her (Niambi). Niambi says she has heard "comments" from Christie. Iyanla says, "So you got heat on Christie." She says this situation with Antonia was just a "trigger" for how Niambi's been feeling towards Christie. Niambi agrees.

Antonia then says that they should know how she is and they should have helped her. Iyanla tells her that she can't expect to get help if she doesn't ask for it. Iyanla says what she has seen here (from Antonia) is dishonorable, disrespectful, and dismissive behavior. She says if Antonia wants them to help her, this attitude isn't working.

Antonia says she would have felt better if Christie and Sommer would have asked her if she needed help. Sommer says she was planning on helping Antonia after dinner this evening. Iyanla says Antonia's feelings were hurt, but instead of telling them that her feelings were hurt, she went into anger because hurt feelings made Antonia feel vulnerable. She says that Antonia's hurt feelings prove that she needs Sommer and Christie, and that was too much vulnerability for Antonia to face. Then Iyanla says, "let's cut the cake and then get out of here." The attention is then turned back to Jodi and her graduation. Iyanla tells Jodi that she is graduating tomorrow, but she is not leaving the house. She says Jodi is going to stay to support Christie with her 5k and to be a mentor. Karen says her flight got changed, and she won't be able to come to Jodi's graduation tomorrow. Iyanla says the flight is not changed, and that Karen will be there. Karen is really excited that she is going to get to see Jodi graduate.

The women have returned to the house and Niambi is checking to see whether Lucius has responded to her email. He has responded and she and Sommer read over his email together. Niambi says the response is confusing. IN the confessional, Niambi says she doesn't want to get caught up into another destructive cycle with Lucius.

In the confessional, Antonia says there is now a line between her and Christie. She says Christie has "showed who she is."

Niambi and Sommer are outside talking. Niambi says she is not in AA and she is a "grown ass woman" and should be able to have a cocktail at dinner if she wants one. She says Christie is all "take, take, take."

Christie and Jodi are talking in the living room. Christie says she is "pissed." In the confessional, Christie says she has said what she needed to say. She thinks Niambi needs to "get over herself." She says if Niambi doesn't want the "angry black woman" rap, she should stop acting like an angry black woman.

Niambi and Antonia are now in the bedroom talking. Niambi says she has been getting her "ass handed to her" for not being supportive enough to the other women and that she just got to the house. She says, however, that Christie has been at the house a long time, and wonders what kind of example Christie is giving by not being supportive.

Preview: Niambi finally reveals what's really making her angry. Christie gets brutally honest. And Jodi receives a surprise she never imagined.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Raising Cain and Over Budget

This evening is the Wednesday 8PM ET chat! If you would like to participate, click on the live chat link (it's right under the FAQ link in the main forum), or click here. As always, you can use any username you like to enter the chat room. Everybody has a good time at these chats and all are welcome.

The show begins with Niambi in the confessional talking about Situation Man. She says she spent a long time debating about whether to send him the email she wrote, but finally decided to do so because there were a lot of things she needed to tell him. She says she wanted to share the changes she is making and the realizations she has had regarding their relationship.

Antonia finds an envelope from Iyanla telling her she will be going to the Ethan Allen store today and to bring her floor plans and ideas for the guest room with her.

Rhonda arrives and meets with Christie. They go over the flier Christie is developing for the 5k race. In the confessional, Christie says every time she thinks she has the flier completed, Rhonda suggests more changes. Christie tells Rhonda she wants to be finished with the flier today so she can get it out. Rhonda tells her that "simplicity" is the key. Rhonda leaves and Christie works with Jodi and Sommer on printing up the fliers. In the confessional, Sommer says Christie keeps turning to them before making decisions. Sommer thinks Christie is either not confident about her skills, or is looking for validation.

Dr. Stan arrives and the women gather for group. Stan says today's topic is about welcoming others and how much we feel welcomed. He says that sometimes a very outgoing person can make someone feel overwhelmed if they are "too" welcoming and can make a person feel like it is too much, too soon. Sommer says she has always been a people-pleaser, and she has been accused of acting fake when she greets someone enthusiastically. Stan says there is a difference between being friendly and being ingratiating. Jodi says she just puts her cards on the table and is who she is from the start.

Stan says people who are quiet and shy can sometimes be viewed as aloof and arrogant, when they are nothing of the sort. He says people who are shy and come off as "cold" are that way due to life experiences and usually wish they could be warmer. Stan says the world is a complex place and there are many factors (cultural, ethnic, religious, etc.) that can cause a person to feel unwelcome. Niambi says when she first walked in the house, she was surrounded by five white women and felt she had to go the extra step to fit in. She says she is not going to name names, but one person in particular seemed to want to stay away from her because she perceived her as an "angry black woman." Stan says that is interesting because Niambi does sometimes have that characteristic. He says it can be a way of protecting oneself, but it can also turn into a self-fulfilling prophesy. Niambi agrees.

Stan asks Niambi if she felt she had more in common with Antonia when she arrived. Niambi says she did feel that way immediately. Stan says when people feel threatened they tend to look for someone who is like themselves. He says the truth is, however, that Niambi may have more in common with Christie than she does with Antonia. Stan says it's sad that Niambi has trust issues because these issues make it difficult for her to get close to people. Niambi says she doesn't want to be "pitied" by anyone. Stan says she needs to suspend her suspicion and judgment. He says you have nothing to lose by being warm and inviting. Group is adjourned.

Antonia arrives at the Ethan Allen furniture store and meets with interior designer Farah Kathwari. She also meets Stacia Muse, another consultant. They go through the store and Antonia picks out furniture she wants to get for the guest room. She has a $10,000 budget, but doesn't appear to be asking about price. In the confessional, Antonia says she feels like a kid in a candy store.

Jodi helps Christie practice for her meeting with the t-shirt vendor she is going to have today. In the confessional, Jodi says she thinks Christie would like it if she (Jodi) took over the project, but she is not going to do that. She says Christie has what it takes to do the project.

Dr. Stan meets with Niambi. Stan says Niambi has trouble making decisions, especially when it comes to Situation Man. He asks her whether she has made a decision and she says she hasn't. She says she and Situation man has a lot of chemistry; she says it is so strong it is like gravity. Niambi also says that he is very protective of his girlfriend, with the exception of cheating on her with Niambi. Stan says he can't let Niambi believe that. He says no man is protective of a woman if he is cheating on her. Niambi says he takes care of his girlfriend's material needs and is like a father to her. Stan asks Niambi whether she thinks he is a good man with whom to be, except for his deception. Niambi really doesn't answer. Stan asks whether Situation Man has ever offered an exclusive relationship to Niambi. Niambi says has, but that she doesn't trust him so she declined. In the confessional, Stan says Niambi contradicts herself a lot in regard to Situation Man. He says he is going to have her meet with a specialist to help her make firm decisions. He tells Niambi that she is going to meet with Lisa Nichols, the author of Chicken Soup for The African American Soul. Niambi is excited about it and in the confessional; she says she is very familiar with Lisa's work.

Antonia has finished picking out furniture and she and Farah and Stacia go over the budget. Antonia has gone over budget and they choose things to put back. In the confessional, Antonia says she is a little nervous about the budget because she still has other things she needs to buy for the room and the furniture costs $9200.

Christie arrives at Best Promotions and meets with the vice-president of marketing, Patrick White, about the t-shirt design for the 5k race. After going over the details of the design, Patrick asks her how she is going to pay for the shirts. Christie starts off with some nervous laughter, but then asks Patrick whether his company will donate the shirts. Patrick agrees and says he would be crazy not to donate to such a good cause. In the confessional, Christie says she is very excited to be getting the shirts for free.

Dr. Stan meets with Antonia about her ongoing interior design assignment. Antonia tells him how much the furniture costs. Stan asks her whether taxes are included and Antonia says she doesn't know and hadn't thought about it. Stan says the taxes will be over $700, and Antonia wonders why the women at the store didn't tell her that. Stan suggests that it's because Antonia didn't ask. Stan tells Antonia that she has transferred her financial dependency issues from her family onto credit card companies. Antonia agrees and says that because she never had to pay her family back when they gave her money, she didn't consider paying the credit card companies back.

Niambi arrives at an office building and meets with Lisa Nichols. They sit down to talk. Lisa asks her about her pattern of decision-making in her life. Niambi says she makes a decision, and if it's a bad one she stays with it and "sucks it up." She says that is especially true with relationships and she realizes that she "stays too long." In the confessional, Lisa says women have a tendency to hand over their power to their partners. She says Niambi puts on the face of an independent woman, but underneath she is scared and doesn't trust her own judgment.

Lisa takes Niambi over to a hallway, in which there are three doors that are numbered. She tells Niambi to choose one of the doors. Niambi chooses door number three. Lisa tries to talk Niambi out of choosing that door, but Niambi sticks with her decision. Niambi opens the door and finds a board with "success" written on it. Niambi tells Lisa she really wants to be in a different place in her life. She says she wants to be able to get what she wants and needs in life. In the confessional, Lisa says Niambi can make the right decision, but after she has made up her mind, she then retreats into fear and becomes paralyzed with it.

Niambi is now holding the board with "success" written on it, and Lisa tries to take it out of her hands. Niambi holds on. Lisa says that this will happen and Niambi has to stand firm and hold onto her success. She tries again and again to get it out of Niambi's hands, but Niambi successfully holds onto "success." In the confessional, Niambi says she realizes she needs to stand up and make decisions. Niambi and Lisa walk hand in hand towards the door after they finish the exercise.

Rhonda arrives at the house with Richard Quinones, an LA prosecutor. She wants Richard to talk with Christie about her brother, Cain. Christie, Rhonda, and Richard sit down to talk. Richard tells Christie that he had a rough childhood and his father skipped out on the family. He says his mom had to work three jobs and things were difficult. He says his mom went to the Big Brothers organization and found a mentor for him. Christie tells Richard about her 12-year-old brother, Cain. She says Cain is basically raising himself and that the mom is a drug addict. She says she doesn't know what to do about it. In the confessional, Christie says she is very emotional about the situation with Cain. She says she feels very guilty and selfish for not taking him in.

Christie says she didn't have a mentor either, and she also went down the wrong road. She says things would have been so different for her had she had someone there to guide her. She says she was very lonely. Richard says he was very lonely too before he had a mentor. Christie says she wants to be a role model for Cain, but she didn't know what that looked like. In the confessional, Christie says Richard's story gave her a lot of insight. She says he is a huge inspiration for her.

Niambi and Antonia are in the bedroom talking. Niambi is talking about Situation Man. She says they want to hurt each other as "little as possible." In the confessional, Niambi says she feels like a fool over her relationship with Situation Man, but she can't make a decision about what to do yet.

Christie is lying in bed crying and Jodi is talking to her. She says she doesn't have a job and doesn't have any money. She wonders how she could support Cain. In the confessional, Jodi says she understands why Rhonda is pushing Christie. She says life sometimes gives you a lot of things that you have to handle all at once. In the confessional, Christie says she is very scared and doesn't know where to start as far as Cain is concerned. She says she doesn't know what to do.

Preview: Tension between Antonia and Christie heats up. Antonia gives everyone a piece of her mind. And a celebration takes an ugly turn.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

The Mask Returns

The show begins with Cassie packing up her things. In the confessional she says she is not just packing her belongs; she is packing support, love and hope for her future. She says it is not about leaving, but about going to a new beginning.

Iyanla arrives to meet with Antonia. In the confessional, Iyanla says Antonia seems quite content with only achieving half of her goal. She says she has a bigger exercise for her now that she hope will get Antonia out of her comfort zone. Antonia tells Iyanla she feels good about the poetry slam. She says she was successful because she persevered. Iyanla tells her she has a new assignment for her and is going to give her an interior design company. She tells Antonia that she will have five workers (her housemates), a professional interior designer to counsel her, and a budget. Antonia will have to redesign the guest room. In the confessional, Antonia says she just finished the poetry slam assignment, and now she already has another assignment. She says she doesn't know anything about interior design and doesn't want to do this exercise.

Jodi is in the confessional and she is upset. She says she has not been stuffing her feelings, but doesn't know how to deal with Christie, who she thinks is "passive-aggressive." Jodi also tells Cassie how she feels. In the confessional, Cassie says Jodi needs to be able to look at her behavior in order to move forward in her life.

The women gather for group and Iyanla enters. Today's topic is renewing relationships. Iyanla tells the women that when they go home they will have to get reaquanted with people in their lives that they knew before they had been transformed in the SO house. Jodi says when she left home she had a "take charge" facade and people will have to get to know the new Jodi. Iyanla then brings up Situation Man to Niambi. Christie interjects that she has a man she could go back to once she leaves the house, but she is choosing not to do that. Niambi says to Christie, "I am not you, Christie." Niambi says she still wants to see Situation Man because there were things left unsaid. Iyanla tells her that she can choose to clean that relationship up later and she herself is "clear." Niambi says she doesn't want to wait. Iyanla tells her she can "choose" whether or not to contact him, and doesn't have do it right now.

Iyanla tells the women that relationships come to us because we invite them into our lives. She says we invite certain people into our lives to learn something about ourselves, or to heal a wound inside of us and show us where we are broken. She encourages the women to "build the muscle of who you are now," and group is adjourned.

Dr. Stan arrives to meet with Cassie. He tells Cassie that she looks worried. Cassie says she does feel worried and says it's about feeling like she may have done something wrong when she contacted her son, Dustin. Stan tells her she didn't do anything wrong. He says she did a service by allowing Dustin to meet his biological mom, and she also achieved her goal. Stan says there is nothing wrong with letting Dustin know she exists.

Antonia calls her friend Danielle and tells her about the poetry slam. She also tells her she is excited about doing the interior design assignment Iyanla has given her.

In the confessiona, Iyanla says that she has arranged for Jodi's mask to show up today. She says Jodi believes she has it all figured out, and that this attitude is dangerous in the SO house. Jodi goes into her bedroom and finds her mask on her bed. She says "Why?" Christie walks in and sees it too. In the confessional, Christie says "God bless Iyanla" for showing Jodi that the mask can come back. In the confessional Jodi says she is angry and scared that the mask is back. She says she has been planning her graduation and starts crying. She says a part of her just wants to say, "f*ck it," and pack her bags when she sees the mask.

Iyanla arrives and Jodi answers the door and asks her why the mask is back. She and Iyanla go sit down to talk about it. In the confessional, Iyanla says Jodi's ego was bruised yesterday when Christie confronted her, even though Christie is her best friend. She says that is why the mask resurfaced. Iyanla tells Jodi that maybe the mask never went away. Jodi says she knows at least a part of it did. She says she is frustrated because she wants to be done and move on. She says she wants to go see her family and start her business. She starts crying.

Niambi sits by the phone. In the confessional, she says she has an overwhelming need to get in touch with Situation Man. She says how she feels is different from how she knows she should act.

Rhonda arrives to meet with Cassie. In the confessional, Rhonda says today is Cassie's last day in the house. She says Cassie's journey has had many ups and downs, and she has finally reached her goal. Cassie tells Rhonda she would be lying if she said she wasn't afraid of leaving. Rhonda tells Cassie she is going to meet with a woman who was reunited with her daughter after giving her up for adoption. Rhonda says this woman will be the final piece of support Cassie needs.

Niambi is still sitting by the phone and is now biting her nails. She finally picks up the phone and calls Situation Man. He answers and she asks if it's a good time. He says it's a great time. She asks how he's been, and he says he's been busy. He asks how she is doing and she says she has been doing a lot. She tells him she is going to email him and asks him if that's "cool." He doesn't respond. She says, "Hello? Hello?" There is no response and she finally hangs up the phone.

Jodi and Iyanla are still talking. Iyanla says she accepts that Jodi wants to go home and start her life. She says that Jodi's language, however, still says Jodi has challenges. There are many cups laid out on a table in front of Jodi and Iyanla. Iyanla fills one of them (that is labeled 'patience'), a fourth of the way up with sand. She asks Jodi if the cup is empty and Jodi says it isn't. Iyanla says Jodi needs to understand that it isn't "all or nothing." Iyanla tells her they need to identify what Jodi has learned in the house. Iyanla begins labeling the cups with things like "vulnerability," etc., and filling them with colored sand.

Cassie arrives at a store called Mother's Haven to meet with Michelle Guastallo. Michelle tells Cassie that four years ago she was reunited with her daughter that she gave up for adoption. She says she is very thankful that she was able to find her daughter and have her in her life. In the confessional, Michelle says the major thing she wants to share with Cassie is not to have expectations about what her relationship with her son will be like. Cassie says her journey to find her son has been long and difficult. She says, however, that she would have always regretted it if she hadn't found him. She says she always felt like a piece was missing. Michelle tells her she felt the same way before connecting with her daughter. In the confessional, Cassie says it feels good to know she is not alone.

Farah Kathwari, an interior designer, arrives to meet with Antonia. They go into the guest room together. Farah shows Antonia three different color schemes for the room, and asks Antonia to choose one. Antonia chooses the "spice" color scheme. In the confessional, Farah says Antonia seems to have a good instinct about color, but it concerns her that Antonia didn't ask about price. Farah tells Antonia that she has homework for her. She wants her to measure the guest room and draw out a floor plan before tomorrow. In the confessional, Antonia says she is not good at designing and doesn't know anything about measuring. She says she doesn't know where to start, and is cold, tired, and wants to go to bed.

Iyanla and Jodi continue their conversation. Iyanla takes each of the cups with the sand in them and pours them into a clear glass vase labeled "Jodi." In the confessional, Iyanla says Jodi is more than pieces and parts; she is a combination of all aspects of herself. The vase eventually spills over with sand. Iyanla says there is one thing missing and writes "humility" on one of the cups. She says without humility, Jodi's mask will keep coming back to haunt her. She asks Jodi if she is ready to "get humble" and Jodi says she is ready. Iyanla tells her to follow her.

Iyanla and Jodi walk outside by the pool. Jodi's mask is lying on the ground beside the pool. Iyanla asks Jodi what she is angry about, and Jodi says she is angry that the mask came back. Iyanla tells her the mask never left and that Jodi just made the "ugliness" pretty by softening her voice, etc. She tells Jodi the mask will come back over and over until Jodi deals with things. Iyanla has given Jodi a hammer and Jodi is kneeling in front of her mask. Jodi is crying and she tells the mask that she is going to let it go now. She thanks it for helping her to get this far, but says she is now going to walk alone. Jodi slowly breaks the mask with the hammer. In the confessional, Iyanla says she has told Jodi to break the mask calmly and without anger. She says she told her to do it with gratitude so that Jodi can reach the "deepest place in her heart."

Niambi is in the confessional, and she says she can't hold out any longer. She is writing an email to Situation Man.

Antonia is measuring the guest room. In the confessional, she says she hates it. She says she doesn't know anything about interior design and the whole exercise "sucks."

Cassie returns from meeting with Michelle and Sommer leads her into the dining room. All the women are there waiting and yell "surprise" when Cassie enters. They have gifts for her and have surprised her with a "mother's day" celebration. Rhonda arrives to join in on the celebration. In the confessional, Antonia says Cassie initially triggered hateful feelings about her father, but now she sees that everybody make mistakes and she accepts Cassie. In the confessional, Rhonda says Cassie's journey has been exciting and "fraught with emotion." Then the show begins a montage of Cassie's time in the house. The montage ends with Cassie meeting her son.

In the confessional, Sommer is crying and she says it is hard to say goodbye to Cassie. She says the selfish part of her wants Cassie to stay. In the confessional, Cassie says she is very thankful to everyone. She says there was no greater gift in the world than getting to meet her son. She says she has started "over and over and over again." Everyone hugs Cassie and she leaves the house.

In the confessional, Niambi says she has been working on an email to send Situation Man all evening. She says she is holding off on sending it because she wants to make sure she has said everything. She shows Antonia the email and Antonia gives her advice about what to say in it. In the confessional, Antonia says Situation Man is a waste of Niambi's time. Antonia says he is selfish and is using Niambi.

Jodi is in her bedroom talking with Christie and crying. She apologizes to Christie for the way she behaved yesterday (when Christie confronted her). Christie says she had to tell Jodi how she was acting even though it was scary. Jodi says she is glad Christie told her and that she will be more receptive next time. In the confessional, Jodi says she is figuring out the new Jodi now and plans on completing what she started.

Preview: Christie gets a huge wake-up call. Niambi reveals how she really felt when she first arrived at the house. Antonia struggles to complete her assignment.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Poetry Slam And Control Issues

The show starts with Antonia going over the details of her poetry slam event with Niambi. In the confessional, Antonia says she is supposed to turn $100 into $500, but she will be happy if she makes at least $200 at the event.

Dr. Stan arrives to meet with Sommer. Stan wants to discuss Sommer's body image issues and reminds Sommer of when she would not put on a bathing suit the last time she was in the house. They flashback to Sommer refusing to put on the bathing suit. Stan asks Sommer to grade herself on how she feels about her body now. Sommer gives herself a "B-." She says she is okay with looking at her body in the mirror now, but that there are still things she would like to fix. Sommer says when she went to San Diego after she left the house the first time, people commented on how confident she appeared. She says this assessment meant a lot to her. Stan says the secret of success is to look and act the way you feel on the inside and that Sommer has learned the secret. Then Stan tells Sommer she is going to be meeting with a dance instructor who specializes in sensual dance.

A "handyman" arrives at the door. In the confessional, Iyanla says she has sent the "hunky" handyman to get the women's attention for an assignment. The handyman comes in and gives the women a note from Iyanla. The note says that the women have some repairs to make around the house and they have 45 minutes to complete them. The handyman sets a timer for them. He says he can't stay to help them, and he doesn't have any tools to leave with them for the "repairs." The handyman leaves, and the women realize they don't have tools for the three jobs listed on the note and they have to improvise. Jodi apparently takes over and starts directing the other women. They work on changing a door handle, removing a faceplate from an electrical outlet, and changing the washer on the bathroom sink. Jodi is supervising the work and the other women seem to be getting annoyed. In the confessional, Christie says she wonders who died and made Jodi the boss.

Antonia takes of the faceplate and then meets with the other women who are still working on changing the washer on the sink. In the confessional, Cassie says they are running out of time and Jodi's bossy attitude is not helping. In the confessional, Christie says she is frustrated because Jodi is not listening to anybody. The timer goes off and the women did not get to complete the projects.

Iyanla arrives and the women meet for group. Iyanla asks them how their repairs went. Jodi says they didn't get to finish because they didn't have the right tools. In the confessional, Iyanla says she is not surprised the women couldn't finish without the appropriate tools. Iyanla asks the women about the tools they need to achieve self-sufficiency in their lives and the women list things such as self-worth and support. Iyanla says when we don't have the right tools for a job, we feel helpless. Then she tells the women that she has a surprise for them. Iyanla brings in two women, Eden Jarrin and Heidi Baher, of the company, Be Jane. Heidi explains that she and Eden own their own homes and learned to do repairs in their homes themselves. Heidi and Eden lead the women into another room where tool belts and tools have been set out for them.

Each woman takes a tool belt and the women from Be Jane help them with projects around the house. Antonia is not participating and is instead taking a nap. In the confessional, Stan says they gave Antonia permission not to participate in this group activity so she could work on her poetry slam event that is to take place this evening. He says instead of taking that time to make preparations, Antonia has decided to sleep. Antonia wake up and meets with Dr. Stan.

Stan tells Antonia that he doesn't think she has shown perseverance. Antonia thinks she has. Stan asks her about her preparation for the event and Antonia says she has invited six people and has handed out fliers. Stan asks her how many people she hopes will attend, and Antonia says she wants about 30 people to be there. In the confessional, Stan says he is surprised that Antonia doesn't seem very excited about her event tonight. He thinks she doesn't understand the importance of it.

The other women continue working on projects around the house. Jodi is monopolizing the situation. In the confessional, Christie says Jodi is dominating the instructors' attention and Christie says she is very annoyed. When Jodi walks out of the room with the instructors, Christie talks to Cassie and Sommer about how she feels. Cassie says she tried to talk to Jodi about her behavior earlier, but Jodi attacked her. Sommer thinks Jodi will yell at her if she says anything. Cassie tells Christie to just keep going and talk to Jodi about it later when the instructors are gone.

Stan and Antonia continue talking and Stan asks her if she thinks it is important to make money. Antonia says she thinks it is, but is frustrated by the short notice she was given to do this assignment. Stan says sometimes short notice can force someone into quicker action. He asks Antonia if taking a nap was the best use of her time. Antonia says the event is only four hours away and she has already done everything she could do. Stan says that she should be brainstorming and calling people, etc., until the last minute.

The women move onto their last project in the house, which is to recover a footstool. Jodi appears to have put herself at the center of this project as well. In the confessional, Jodi says she is unsure why some of her housemates have a bad attitude, but she is not going to let them take away from her enjoyment or enthusiasm for these projects.

After they finish with the footstool, the instructors from Be Jane leave. Antonia has finished meeting with Dr. Stan and she goes and tells Christie that Stan thinks she is being to "lax." In the confessional, Christie says Antonia is looking for her to agree with her that it was okay to take a nap, but that she doesn't agree. She thinks Antonia isn't taking her assignment seriously enough.

Sommer arrives at Millennium Dance Complex and meets with Cat Dukes, a dance sensuality expert. Cat says she teaches women to do "exotic" dancing. She and Sommer sit and talk for a little while and then they begin Sommer's dance lesson. They do an exercise in the mirror in which Sommer is to dance seductively while looking at herself. In the confessional, Sommer says there was a time when she could look in the mirror. She says when she did, she didn't see herself. She says she was invisible to her own eye. She says she is uncomfortable with the sensual dance and that this exercise is asking a lot of her. Cat moves onto another dance exercise in which Sommer is to maintain eye contact with Cat as she walks seductively towards her. Afterwards, Cat says Sommer has learned knew skills and seems happy with herself.

Antonia makes some last minute calls for her poetry slam tonight. Iyanla arrives to meet with Jodi. Jodi shows her the various projects they did today and then they sit down to talk. In the confessional, Iyanla says the projects brought to the surface issues on which Jodi still needs to work. Iyanla asks Jodi about areas in which she still needs change. Jodi says she has to have an open conversation with her mom. In the confessional, Iyanla says Jodi has had control issues to the point that she even "controlled" her own memories. Iyanla says Jodi made up stories about her past and believed them even though they weren't true. Iyanla asks Jodi about anything else she needs to look at before graduating. Jodi says she needs to deal with her father issues and learn to accept his love in the way he knows how to give it. Iyanla tells Jodi that she has developed like skills now, but that there will be a "final exam" before she can graduate. She tells Jodi she can't study for this exam, and that she won't know what it is, or when it is going to take place.

Sommer has returned from her dance lesson and Stan arrives to talk with her about it. Sommer says she had fun and got into her body for a little while during the lesson. She says she had a "panic moment" when she had to look the instructor in the eye and walk towards her suggestively. Stan says that is because Sommer's issues with judgment surfaced. Stan asks Sommer how she would like to create more opportunities to be sensual, and Sommer says she doesn't know if she wants to do that.

Antonia leaves the house for the poetry slam. She arrives at Coffee Junction, where the event is to take place. She sets things up and in the confessional she says she is getting nervous because the first poet had already arrived and the place is not yet filled.

SO graduate Jill arrives and greets Jodi and the other women who have just arrived. SO graduates Jessica and Linelle are also in attendance. The MC, Poetri, gets up and introduces the first poet. Several performers go on and the place now seems to be packed with people. In the confessional, Jodi says tonight is an amazing night for Antonia and it appears to be a success for her. Antonia goes on stage after the other performances are done and thanks everyone for making the night a success. Then she reads something she has written. It is about a guy who lived near her whom she found attractive. After she finishes, they all clap for her and then she introduces Iyanla. Iyanla goes up and reads an interesting piece she wrote about endings. Everybody thoroughly enjoy it. Later Antonia counts up the money she has made for the event, as Iyanla watches. Antonia made $256. In the confessional, Iyanla says Antonia has only achieved half of her goal. She says she is going to give her another assignment to achieve the other half, and it will be Antonia's final opportunity to she wants to get her act together.

The women have returned home and Christie is in her bedroom with Jodi. She tells Jodi that she will not be "bossed around" by her. Jodi says she was not being bossy (when they were working on the projects they did earlier in the day). In the confessional, Jodi says she had noticed Christie's absence when they were working on the projects around the house. She says it hurt her feelings. In the confessional, Christie says she is annoyed with Jodi, but loves and cares about her a lot, which is why she feels she has to confront her. Christie tells Jodi she is not the only one who felt that Jodi was acting bossy. Jodi says she is not going to change who she is for anyone. She tells Christie that she wishes Christie had as much compassion for her as she does the other women. She says she feels that if she doesn't act the way Christie wants her to act, then Christie has issues with her.

Preview: Jodi is outraged. Antonia's next task could be her last. And Niambi gives into temptation.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Positive Self Talk

The show begins with Niambi in the confessional saying she feels frustrated and misunderstood after last night's board of review. She says she now feels unsafe in the house. They show playing cards hidden around the house, and Jodi finds a scoreboard with each woman's name on it in the living room. There is also a note from Iyanla that says the women are each to find 15 cards hidden in the house and keep track of how many they have found on the scoreboard.

The women look around the house and search for the cards. Christie finds one card, and then says she feels tired. In the confessional, she says this "game" isn't fun and she doesn't want to look for any more cards. In the confessional, Antonia also says she doesn't like this game. She says she has a headache and doesn't have enough time to look for these "stupid cards."

Later the women gather for group and Iyanla arrives; she has the scoreboard with her. She says Christie only found one card, Cassie found 14, Sommer found 9, and the rest of the women found 7 each. Iyanla says how they played the game this morning is a direct representation of how they live their lives. She says there are four ways in which to live. One way to play is to play to lose. She says when a person is playing to lose; she makes excuses and uses distractions. Christie saying she was too tired to play indicates that she plays to lose. Another way to play is to play not to lose. When a person plays to lose, her goal is not to lose, but not to win either. The third way to play is to play not to win. She says when a person is not invested in the outcome of the game, she is playing not to win. The fourth way to play is to play to win. When a person plays to win, she is giving 100% of herself.

Iyanla asks Antonia what percentage she gives of herself, and Antonia says she gives 100%. Iyanla says Antonia only gives 65%. Antonia thinks that is "too harsh." Iyanla says it is the truth and that Antonia just gives enough to get by. Antonia seems a little angry by this assessment. In the confessional, Iyanla says that Antonia has a sense of entitlement and thinks she deserves it all even when she is only giving 65%.

Iyanla asks Niambi how she plays the game, and Niambi says she doesn't know anymore. She says she definitely doesn't give 100%. In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi was used to blaming her father for everything, and the exposure last night that her mother is abusive is still causing her to suffer. Niambi says right now she is just playing to stay in the game and she doesn't feel safe at the moment. In the confessional, Niambi says she feels she can't be enough right now no matter how much she tried. Iyanla says Niambi is playing not to lose right now.

Christie says she realizes she has a lot to do with the race, her issue with her brother, etc. She says she is scared and is playing not to lose. Iyanla tells her to focus on the most pressing issue in her life, and Christie says that issue would be the upcoming race. Iyanla tells them all to consider how they play the game throughout the day and then group is adjourned.

The women make breakfast and Niambi has just finished eating when Iyanla finds her for an exercise. She puts a blindfold on Niambi. In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi has blindfolded herself to what caused her problems, and now she is going to blindfold Niambi so that she can focus on the inside. Iyanla takes Niambi by the hand and sits her down in a room off the living room.

Iyanla then asks Niambi to name the things her mom said to her and how she criticized her. In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi is playing over and over again in her mind the critical things her mom said to her when she was a child. As Niambi lists the things her mom said to her, Iyanla writes each one on a CD as a physical representation of the verbal abuse. Niambi, who is still blindfolded, says her mom pinned all her hopes and dreams onto her. Iyanla asks if she hates her mom. Niambi says she does. Niambi speaks the words her mom said to her as a child. Her mom said "your little ass makes me sick," and "you're always messing up everything." Iyanla writes each phrase on a CD and pins it to a board beside Niambi.

Iyanla then tells Niambi she is about to push her and she gives her permission to push back. Then she yells the things Niambi's mom said at Niambi. Niambi starts crying. She shakes Niambi's chair and continues saying all the horrible things Niambi's mom said to her. She tells Niambi to "push back," but Niambi just cries at first.

In the living room, Christie and Antonia can hear Iyanla yelling at Niambi. Christie starts crying and says she feels so bad for what Niambi had to experience as a child. In the confessional, Christie says her heart is breaking for Niambi and that she can relate to her. She tells Antonia that how bad she feels, but Antonia really doesn't respond.

Iyanla continues trying to push Niambi to fight back. she yells "push back!" and "fight!!" Niambi says "you make me sick too!" She says "you are the reason you don't have any grandkids!" She also says that her mom is the reason she is there and that her mom should be the one at the SO house. She says she is not going to end up like her mom--alone, with no man and no money. Iyanla tells her she is right. She tells Niambi that she is coming around the last curve now and she wants her to "go for the win." Niambi screams, "I hate you!!" Iyanla then asks Niambi what she wants her mom to know. Niambi says she wants her to know that she is "mad as hell." Iyanla then has Niambi stand up (she is still blindfolded) and gives her a pillow. She tells her to hit the chair with the pillow and to let all her anger out. Niambi hits the chair over and over and yells "leave me alone!" repeatedly. When she is finished, she is crying and Iyanla hugs her.

Iyanla then helps Niambi to sit back down and Niambi takes off the blindfold. Iyanla tells her she has done well. Niambi then sees the CD's Iyanla has written on placed on the board beside her. Iyanla breaks one of the CD's, and tells Niambi that these phrases mean nothing. Iyanla then tells Niambi to go wash her face and rest, and to think about better messages she can give herself that replace the negative ones her mom said. She says they will meet again later.

Christie calls Step Up, the mentorship organization for women. In the confessional, she says she feels unprepared and is afraid to call. She calls anyway, however, and speaks to Alex Brandt. Christie asks whether a college education is required to be a mentor with Step Up. Alex says the only requirements are that you're a woman and that you want to help.

Iyanla meets with Antonia about her upcoming poetry slam. In the confessional, Iyanla says Antonia has less than 24 hours to prepare, and yet she is only giving 65% to the project. She asks Antonia some questions about her preparedness, and it's clear that Antonia has not done much today. She hasn't given out any more flier, etc. Antonia says her biggest concern is that nobody will show up. In the confessional, Iyanla says Antonia still hasn't prepared and she is interested to see how she will make up for lost time. Antonia says it will feel good if she accomplishes this task successfully.

Rhonda arrives and meets with Christie. Rhonda tells Christie that she is to the Step Up office today and meets with the women there regarding sponsorship of the 5k race. Christie says she feels insecure because she doesn't have a college education. Rhonda asks her if she believes it is only women with degrees who can succeed; Christie says she doesn't believe that. Rhonda tells her that the race is a metaphor for Christie's life. She says Christie's willingness to take on this challenge will not only help herself, but will also inspire other women. Then Rhonda gives Christie an assignment. She hands her two stacks of paper--one blue and one pink. She tells her to write on one color each step towards her goal of having a successful race. On the other colored paper, she is to write how each step relates to her own life. Christie is to tape these papers to the staircase in the house. Christie takes the papers, and then tells Rhonda she is scared, but she is going to succeed with the 5k race.

Antonia calls Poetri, who is going to be the MC of her poetry slam. He tells her he has 6-7 poets lined up to perform, but that there is no way they will pay to perform. Antonia accepts that because she says she has no other choice.

Niambi arrives at the Valley Center Studios to meet with Iyanla. She says she doesn't know why Iyanla wants to meet with her, or what they are going to do. Niambi sees Iyanla waiting for her and they go inside the studio. They sit down and Iyanla tells Niambi that she is going to record new messages to replace the negative messages she was given as a child. She asks Niambi to name some new phrases and Niambi comes up with "I am infinitely successful," to replace "I am a failure." They come up with a positive phrase to replace every negative thing said to Niambi. Then Niambi goes into the recording booth and speaks each positive phrase as a recording engineer records her. In the recording booth Iyanla has placed the CD's with the negative phrases written on them on the wall behind Niambi. When Niambi speaks the phrase, "I am shining," Iyanla suggests that she sing it instead.

Christie arrives at the Step Up office and meets with two women from the organization. In the confessional, Christie says she has never done anything like this before, and she feels intimidated. She goes over the details of the race with the women, who both seem very nice. The executive director, Danielle Craig, tells Christie that her story is very interesting and inspiring to other women.

Back at the studio, Niambi is hesitant and a little shy to sing at first, but eventually she sings it (ED: her voice is beautiful).Niambi then sings the line "I am shining" a few times and Iyanla tells her to go down deep inside herself and bring that feeling up. Niambi does so and sings the line a final time. Iyanla says she has done a great job. After they make the recording, Iyanla goes into the booth with Niambi and together they break the CD's with the negative phrases on them. In the background, Niambi's recording is playing. Iyanla tells her to get used to her own voice because it is beautiful and deserves to be heard.

Niambi returns home from the recording studio and tells Jodi and Antonia about it. Christie then returns from her meeting and starts working on her assignment to create steps towards her 5k race goal. Cassie sits and talks with her and Christie tells Cassie that she thought about drinking this evening. She says she wasn't going to do it or anything, but she heard a song on the way home which reminded her of when she drank a lot. Cassie encourages Christie to find a support group once she leaves the house.

Later, the women eat dinner and Antonia talks about her upcoming poetry slam. She says she doesn't want to do "spoken word" and does a mocking rendition of a spoken word performance. The other women listen and laugh. After dinner, Christie calls Rhonda and leaves a message for her. She tells her the meeting at Step Up went well, and she thanks Rhonda for "helping me heal my soul."

Iyanla arrives and tells Niambi she has a present for her. She gathers all the women in the living room and brings out a CD player. She plays the recording Niambi made earlier, and all the women close their eyes and listen. They all appear to like it a lot. Afterwards, Iyanla tells Niambi that her assignment is to listen to that CD twice a day. Niambi says she will do that and she and Iyanla hug.

Preview for next week: The women's frustration with Jodi boils over. Christie takes a stand. Jodi's past returns to haunt her. Niambi can't control her addiction (to Situation Man). Antonia throws a fit.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Board Of Review-Jodi and Niambi

The show begins with Christie telling Niambi that she would like to have a talk with her. She tells Niambi that she doesn't want her to be "side-swiped" at the impending board of review regarding what she might say, so she wants to tell her beforehand what she has observed about Niambi's behavior. She says that Niambi has done amazing work, but that whenever people are at the house, Niambi hides herself away and isolates.

Cassie and Jodi talk about the BoR. Jodi thinks she and Niambi will be called up, but Cassie thinks it will be Sommer and Antonia who are called. In the confessional, Jodi says she doesn't want to hear that she may not be called up and get her "C" turned into an "A." Cassie says she is usually right about these things, however.

Niambi tells Christie that she admits that when she is tired, she is a different person. Then she tells Christie that she finds it difficult to talk with her. In the confessional, Christie says she finds that interesting and she feels Niambi may not be used to having people support her. Niambi tells Christie that she and Sommer both have a tendency to "swoop" in on her and to coddle her. She says she knows, however, that it is not easy to love and care about her. Christie says she doesn't feel that way at all about Niambi. Niambi then thanks Christie for having this talk with her because she knows she can be "intimidating."

The women gather for group and Rhonda and Iyanla arrive. Rhonda describes the grading structure and then Iyanla calls Jodi up to the podium. Jodi states her goal, which is Fill the Empty Cup. Iyanla asks her what she has done well. Jodi says she has given up control and resistance and has allowed herself to be vulnerable. She says she is able to see herself with "humanity" now. Iyanla then asks her what grade she would give herself, and Jodi says she would like to ask for an "A."

Rhonda then asks the women to give Jodi feedback about one good change they have seen in her. Christie says Jodi has taken off the mask and has helped her with her goals. She says Jodi no longer tries to take over, but instead supports and holds her up. Cassie says Jodi now has unconditional love for herself. Niambi says Jodi always tells the truth, even when it isn't easy to say or hear. Sommer says she has heard about Jodi's controlling issues, but she hasn't seen her behave in a controlling manner even once.

Rhonda then asks the women whether Jodi should stay or go. Christie is crying and says that she thinks Jodi is ready to go out and live her life. In the confessional, Christie says that Jodi is her big sister, her pal, and her friend, and she will miss her if she leaves, but she is ready. Then Iyanla says Christie doesn't get a vote on whether Jodi should graduate or not, so Christie says Jodi should stay. All the other women also agree that Jodi should stay.

Rhonda says she has seen Jodi begin to soften and that when she is softening she is beautiful. Then Rhonda brings up Jodi's weight. Jodi says she weighs 206lbs. In the confessional, Iyanla says this is the first time Jodi has publicly stated her weight, and it indicates to her that Jodi is growing. Iyanla tells Jodi that she is concerned that Jodi may deplete her "cup" and forget to offer to others only the "overflow" of the cup's contents. She says Jodi's behaviors have changed, but now the real work can begin. Iyanla then gives Jodi and "A." Jodi thanks her and takes her seat.

Iyanla calls Niambi to the podium. In the confessional, Niambi says she is not nervous and she is going to answer all questions as honestly and as truthfully as possible. Niambi states her goal, which is Running Toward Life. Iyanla asks her what that goal means. Niambi says it means learning to accept herself and to trust her own judgment. In the confessional, Christie says she has a lot of compassion for Niambi; she worries that if Niambi doesn't open up, she will be asked to leave the house.

Rhonda asks Niambi what she is doing well. Niambi says she is now aware that she is pushing love away and that she can be defensive. Iyanla asks her what she needs to work on, and Niambi says she needs to work on being more vulnerable. In the confessional, Sommer says it is hard to watch Niambi because she has so much fear inside her and her road is going to be difficult.

Iyanla asks Niambi what vulnerability means. Niambi says she used to think being vulnerable meant being weak, but now she knows that it means she is open and available. Iyanla asks her what it means to surrender. Niambi says it means she has to have faith that she is where she needs to be. She says it also means trusting herself and the process.

Rhonda asks Niambi what she is not doing well and what is holding her back. Niambi says she is not accepting support fully and that she is not 100% used to the structure of the house. Iyanla says Niambi isn't making sense and she doesn't understand what she means. She tells her to "speak English." Niambi says she hasn't been cooperative. Iyanla says Niambi is not "showing up" yet and his hiding herself away. She says that Niambi has always been coached and told what to do, and that this is the first time in her life that she is making decisions for herself and she "doesn't have a clue."

Rhonda asks Niambi to name her deepest fear regarding being in the house. Iyanla tells her to close her eyes and think about it first. Niambi says she is still running and her deepest fear is that she will mess up in the house and not "do it right." Rhonda asks her how she would feel is she did mess up, and Niambi says she would feel stupid and like a failure. Rhonda asks her if she would think she is a failure and Niambi says she would. Rhonda asks who else would think she is a failure. Niambi says, "My family--my father." Iyanla says she doesn't believe that. She says there is a smokescreen being put up by Niambi. In the confessional, Iyanla says something doesn't "smell" right. She says she suspects Niambi's issues are not with her father.

Iyanla says to Niambi that this has nothing to do with her father. Niambi starts crying. Iyanla says Niambi's father left and he was gone. Niambi cries even harder and then says, "She loves me though." Iyanla says, "Nobody says she doesn't." In the confessional, Iyanla says that in the African American community, speaking about your mother in a negative way is a big taboo (ED: it's that way in all communities, IMO). Iyanla asks Niambi, "What is the lie?" She says until they get to the truth, they are just "swatting at shadows."

Niambi says she can never do anything right, and is never good enough in her mother's eyes. Iyanla asks her whether she has spoken about this truth before now. Niambi says she has only spoken about it in anger and only a few times. Iyanla asks her whether she is willing to speak about it now. Niambi says she is ready to fight for her life. Iyanla tells Niambi that she can't save herself by protecting her mother. She says Niambi's truth does not threaten her mother. In the confessional, Antonia says she can't at all relate to Niambi because her whole family loves her unconditionally.

Iyanla asks Niambi again, "what is the lie?" Niambi says the lie is that her father is responsible for everything and is the "bad guy." Iyanla asks if there is more, and Niambi asks her to help her. Iyanla says she doesn't know what it is, but that she has Niambi's back. She tells Niambi she will go with her to wherever Niambi's journey takes her.

Rhonda asks Niambi whether she is willing to accept the support of her housemates. Niambi says she has to learn how. Iyanla then says asking Niambi what she thinks her grade should be is like "kicking a dog when he's down." She says it is a ridiculous question to ask of Niambi and so she doesn't ask. Rhonda says she wants to find out what the housemates think and asks them to name one good change in Niambi. Christie says when Niambi is being vulnerable it is the most beautiful thing she has ever seen. Jodi says she can tell Niambi is allowing more of her true self to come out. She says she wants to see the "complete Niambi." Cassie says she sees Niambi's compassion for others, but she doesn't have compassion for herself. Antonia says she needs Niambi to be in the house so that she can learn how to be there for her. She tells Niambi she wants her to stop seeing herself as a failure. Sommer says she can see when Niambi is open for feedback, and that Niambi seeks out feedback when she wants it.

Iyanla tells the women that she wants them to share with Niambi from a place that is broken within themselves. She says that Niambi won't be able to hear their constructive criticism unless they do it from that place inside themselves that is also broken. Christie says she and Niambi both have issues with confrontation. Jodi says Niambi protects herself in the same way that she protected herself. She says the mask she wore hasn't served her well because it made her forget who she was. Cassie says both she and Niambi have a lost little girl inside them, and they both pretend they have it all together when they don't. Antonia says she and Niambi both let the wrong people into their lives, and don't accept the "right" people. Sommer says she and Niambi both have issues with looking stupid and doing things the "wrong way."

Iyanla says when she was growing up, she was also criticized. She says she constantly heard that she couldn't do anything right, that she was nothing, and that she messed up everything. She says it was bad enough that she heard these things over and over, but the crime and the devastation of it all was that she believed it. She says one day someone looked her in the face and said, "You are the daughter of whom God is well pleased." She says she didn't believe it, but she kept saying it to herself. She says she was single, 21 years old, with three babies and living in the projects at this time. She says she just kept telling herself that same phrase, and one day it stuck. She says she has never been the same.

Iyanla tells Niambi that she doesn't believe she is lovable. She says there is no explanation for the way Niambi has been treated. She tells Niambi that she has to "take down" anybody who stands in the way of trying to save herself; it doesn't matter who it is. Then she reveals Niambi's grade. Iyanla gives Niambi a "C," but on the grade card she has also written the words, compassion, commitment, and change. She tells Niambi she has to be committed to change moment by moment and whoever gets in her way must be "taken down." She says Niambi is not on probation; she is on parole. She says there is a distinction and that if Niambi leaves this house, she will be going back to "prison." Niambi takes her seat. In the confessional, Sommer says she hopes Niambi can rally from this experience because it is terrible to be sent home. In the confessional, Christie says Niambi has a tough rode ahead of her and has to make a conscious effort to change. The board of review is concluded.

Iyanla goes and hugs Niambi, who is crying. As they hug, Iyanla says, "you are the one with whom God is well pleased." Niambi is sobbing and repeats the phrase several times as they continue hugging. Then all the women gather around Niambi and give her a group hug. They all repeat, "You are the one with whom God is well pleased." In the confessional, Jodi says the Starting Over process happens with the five other women in the house. She says the group hug is a way to show Niambi that if she can't say that phrase for herself, they will say it for her until she can.

Preview: Niambi is pushed to her breaking point. Christie's fears take over. And Antonia wants to give up.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Sommer Dances And Antonia's Frustration

The show begins with Rhonda arriving and the women gathering for group. Rhonda is wearing feather boas and she passes one of them out to each woman in honor of the topic today, which is sexuality. Rhonda asks the women how they express their sexuality. Christie says she acts flirtatious and coy. Antonia says she doesn't ever tease, but instead expresses her sexuality through good conversation. Someone mentions kissing, and Rhonda points out that kissing is not teasing, but is an actual expression of affection. Jodi says that it is possible for a woman to teach a man to be a better kisser, and Rhonda says the more comfortable a woman is with her body, the more likely it is that she will teach her partner what she likes.

Antonia says she is a "Catholic school girl," and is apparently embarrassed about the sex talk. Rhonda asks her whether she is a virgin, and Antonia says she isn't. Rhonda says a lot of women think sex is intimacy, but it isn't. Cassie says she used to give sex to get love, and she thought men would love to get sex. Niambi asks Rhonda what to do if a relationship has been more about sex than anything else. Rhonda tells her she has to change it up. She says if the man is unwilling to go along with that change, then that should be a wake-up call. Rhonda then announces that there will be a board of review this evening and group is adjourned.

In the confessional, Jodi says she thinks she will be called up at the BoR. She says she got a "C" last time, which means she has been on probation. She thinks she will get off probation at this BoR. Cassie is in the kitchen talking to the other women. She says she has done everything she could do, and she is not going to let herself get worried about the BoR.

Christie and Jodi go to Curves together to work out. In the confessional, Christie says she enjoys working out now and that it brings out her sexuality.

Iyanla arrives at the house and meets with Antonia. Iyanla asks her how she is doing with planning to turn the $100 Robert Kiyosaki gave her into $500. Antonia tells her about her ideas concerning an open mic night and talks about having a special guest. Iyanla asks her about specifics, but Antonia doesn't have any. Iyanla then tells Antonia that she must set up the whole event on Friday (the day after tomorrow in SO time). Iyanla has already arranged a venue for the event and gives Antonia the details. Antonia is afraid and feels like she can't do it all on such notice. Iyanla says Antonia has had this assignment for weeks, and has yet to do anything concrete. Iyanla tells Antonia that she needs to have two things accomplished concerning the event before the BoR.

Rhonda meets with Sommer and they discuss how Sommer has been feeling. Sommer says she feels a little sad because she realizes she is not yet free. Rhonda talks about Sommer's goal to be able to dance and tells Sommer she is sending her to a dance studio today for a lesson. Sommer says she is afraid and excited, but it is in a good way. She says she is just not going to listen to the voice of fear inside her.

Antonia tells Jodi and Christie about the upcoming open mic night. Jodi says she can call her cousin and see if s/he wants to come. Christie also offers to call some people she knows and invite them. Antonia is going to charge $20 per person at the event.

Antonia calls a friend of hers called Poetri. She tells him about the open mic night and he offers to host the event for free. Antonia tells him it is going to happen in two days, and Poetri says he doesn't know if he can get the word out in that amount of time. He tells Antonia to call him back later and he will see what he can do.

Karinna Kittles, a love and relationship expert, arrives to meet with Jodi. They sit down and Karinna gives Jodi a quiz to take about her past sexual experiences, etc. Jodi talks about how she used to go for the "bad guy." She says those kinds of situations were degrading to her when she wanted more than just sex from the guy. After they talk a while, Karinna says it seems as though Jodi is in a period of huge transition and is now ready for an emotional, spiritual, and physical relationship.

Sommer arrives at Millennium Dance Complex and meets with dance instructor Shane Sparks. They start out doing some basic hip-hop moves. Shane says his goal today is just to help Sommer feel relaxed and sexy. In the confessional, Sommer says she is so nervous she is sweating. She is trying to let go and enjoy herself, but initially has trouble. As the lesson continues, Sommer gets more relaxed and starts to enjoy herself. After the lesson, Sommer says she had a great time and feels "pumped." She says she didn't want to stop dancing and the lesson went a "a whole lot better" than she thought it would.

Karinna and Jodi continue talking. Karinna asks Jodi what she thinks has been holding her back. Jodi says it is her body image. She says, however, that she is starting to see the beauty in her imperfections. Karinna tells Jodi that she must celebrate her body. She says Jodi should go into her bedroom, light candles and put on sexy music. Then she should stand in front of a full-length mirror and dance wildly in the nude... Jodi says she has never done that before.

Antonia and Niambi go to a printing store to make copies of fliers for the open mic night. In the confessional, Antonia says her strategy is just to put fliers out everywhere and hope people show up.

Sommer arrives back at the house and finds Cassie, who is outside smoking a cigarette. She tells Cassie how happy she is about the dance lesson. In the confessional, Cassie says Sommer's energy is infectious.

Antonia and Niambi start passing out fliers to people on the street. They also place them on tables and car windshields. Then they return to the house.

Iyanla and Jodi meet and Iyanla asks Jodi what she has learned. Jodi says she has come a long way and knows that her past behaviors are not where she is going in the future. She tells Iyanla that she is ready for an emotional, physical, and spiritual connection with a partner. Iyanla says that sounds "delicious."

Niambi and Antonia talk about the upcoming BoR. Niambi explains to her that not everybody gets reviewed. Antonia is surprised to find that out, as she thought they would all be called up to justify themselves.

Iyanla meets with Antonia to see how things are going with the open mic night planning. After questioning Antonia, she realizes that Antonia does not have a definite plan. In the confessional, Iyanla says Antonia has no plan and a terrible disposition. She says Antonia better check herself before the BoR tonight. Iyanla tells Antonia that the event is "her baby" and her idea. Antonia protests that she doesn't have enough time to do it and it is too short of a notice for her to get it all done. Then Iyanla looks over the flier Antonia has had printed up, and realizes that the flier doesn't say that there is a $20 charge per person. Antonia is crushed and puts her head on the table in defeat. Iyanla tells her to "take a breath" and sit up. In the confessional, Antonia says she is extremely frustrated about the assignment.

Jodi tells Christie that she will probably be called up at the BoR. In the confessional, Christie says she is thinking Jodi will get called up too, and she thinks Jodi has put tremendous effort into turning her "C" into an "A."

Iyanla continues talking to Antonia. She tells her to use her resources and that she doesn't have to do the whole thing by herself. Antonia says everybody already thinks she is a "spoiled brat" and she doesn't want them to think she just wants people to do everything for her. Iyanla says Antonia is a spoiled brat, but that fact has nothing to do with getting help for the event. Antonia is becoming very antagonistic and she tells Iyanla that Iyanla just doesn't understand. She says she is very nervous and frustrated. Iyanla tells her to make another choice and choose not to be frustrated. Antonia protests and is getting more flustered. Iyanla says "Take a breath! Take a breath!"

Preview: Christie confronts Niambi. Iyanla turns up the heat at the board of review. Niambi finally drops a bombshell.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Niambi Opens Up

The show begins with Niambi in the confessional saying that she is frustrated. She says Iyanla is calling her out and saying she is not committing to the process. Niambi says that she is giving all she can. Antonia is in the confessional next and she also says she feels frustrated because Iyanla thinks her father issues have something to do with her spending issues. She says they don't know what she needs to heal; only she knows that.

Rhonda arrives to meet with Christie to go over the planning for the 5k race Christie is organizing. Christie says she wants the theme of the race to be about youth mentorship. Rhonda says the run is also about running for women who can't run for themselves. She says it is about women who want to start over, but can't. She tells Christie she is sending her to meet with a PR firm today to go over logo ideas, etc. Rhonda then mentions Christie's younger brother, 12-year-old Cain. Christie is devastated that she hasn't done more to help her brother, and Rhonda asks her what she wants to do about the situation now. Christie says it is terrifying to be responsible for another person. Rhonda tells Christie that she needs to decide what she is going to do about Cain before she leaves the SO house because she has access to more support in the house.

Cassie talks to Sommer about her son, Dustin, not calling her last night. She is a little concerned that she didn't hear from him, but seems to be in a happy mood. She does a "good morning" dance for Rhonda when she sees her passing by.

Christie talks to Jodi and Niambi about her issue with her brother. In the confessional, Christie says she doesn't know what to do. She says she doesn't want to resent her brother, Cain, but she also doesn't want to feel guilty about not taking care of him.

Rhonda meets with Cassie and Cassie tells her that Dustin hasn't called. She tells Rhonda she is going to call him if she doesn't hear from him by this evening. In the confessional, Rhonda says Dustin may not be ready to have a relationship with Cassie, and that a relationship might jeopardize his relationship with his adoptive mom. Rhonda tells Cassie that the adoptive mom might be influencing him not to call. Cassie doesn't understand why she would do that. In the confessional, Cassie says the adoptive mother will always be Dustin's mom. She says that a mom can love more than one child, and a child should be able to love more than one mom.

Christie is working on her 5k run project; Sommer and Jodi are helping her. In the confessional, Christie says she feels very supported by the women and they are working together as a team.

Iyanla arrives to meet with Niambi. In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi is resisting the process and is "attached to image." She says Niambi is concerned with making everything "look good." Iyanla tells Niambi that yesterday Niambi said she was "fighting for her life." She asks Niambi what that means to her. Niambi says it means she is going to be who she is and ask for what she wants. Iyanla asks her how things are going with Situation Man. Niambi says she has experienced withdrawal because of not having contact with him. Iyanla tells Niambi that perhaps she is addicted to the pain that relationship gives her. She says Situation Man reinforces her negative self-view. Niambi says she wants to contact him, but she doesn't know why. She says she doesn't want to disappoint Iyanla. In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi has to realize that this issue is about herself and not anyone else. Iyanla tells Niambi to go put on her "relaxation" clothes and to take off all her make-up and meet her outside.

In the confessional, Iyanla says nobody goes into the fight of her life wearing mascara and lip-gloss. Niambi meets Iyanla outside without her make-up and in casual clothes. They sit down to talk. Iyanla asks Niambi what's going on inside her. Niambi says she feels shame and she is afraid to tell the truth because it is ugly. Iyanla has Niambi clothes her eyes and repeat after her: The thing I feel the most guilty about is... Niambi finishes the sentence with "...terminating a pregnancy." Niambi is crying and says she felt that God left her alone and that she deserved to be left alone.

Cassie and Rhonda continue their conversation. Cassie says the one person in her whole life who has the power to make her feel shameful is Dustin's adoptive mother. She says that even though the adoptive mother lied to Dustin and said Cassie was dead, Cassie still feels like she is to blame for it. Rhonda tells her that the adoptive mom can choose to see Cassie as she was (young, alcoholic, etc.), or she can see Cassie for who she is today. She says it is her choice. In the confessional, Cassie says Dustin will have to tell the adoptive mother that he has met Cassie and that he now knows she lied about Cassie being dead. Cassie says she doesn't know how the woman will react. Rhonda tells Cassie that the adoptive mother has power over Dustin, as she should because she raised him. She says that no matter how Cassie feels about Dustin's relationship with his adoptive mother, Cassie has to honor it.

Christie takes Jodi with her and goes to see a graphic designer to design the logo for the race. The race is going to be called, "Dare to Change." Christie and the graphic designer go over ideas.

Niambi and Iyanla continue their conversation. Iyanla asks Niambi why she feels she deserved to be left alone. Niambi says it's because she has done "bad stuff." Iyanla tells her that she has been beating herself up over and over again. She says that Niambi should get out "one good beating" and then be done with it. She brings out two bats, a plastic bat and an aluminum bat, and asks Niambi to choose one. Niambi chooses the aluminum bat. In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi's guilt, shame and anger is toxic. She says she wants to show Niambi what it looks like when a woman beats herself up.

Iyanla tapes photos of Niambi onto a punching bag (ED one of those bags that sits on the ground). She then tells Niambi to hit the bag with the bat. Niambi swings hard over and over again and yells that she is ugly, stupid, afraid. She says she doesn't deserve to be happy because she is "mean, evil and selfish, selfish, selfish!!"

Antonia is lying down in her bedroom on the daybed and Jodi comes and finds her. Antonia is upset about the father issues that Iyanla is bringing up and asks Jodi what she is supposed to do. Jodi tells her to give her dad a second chance. In the confessional, Jodi says Antonia has closed her heart to her dad for a long time and is fighting the process of opening up.

Niambi is crying and all the photos of herself have been knocked off the punching bag. Iyanla picks them back up and tapes them back to the bag. She tells Niambi to look at one of the photos and see the pain she is in. Niambi says she deserves to be in pain. Iyanla says she doesn't deserve it. She tells Niambi to tell the photo of herself that she feels her pain and tell her that she has been through enough. Niambi is crying and tells the photo of herself that she is sorry she abused her. She says to the photo, "I love you. I honor you. I respect you." Then Iyanla gathers up the photos and hands them to Niambi. She tells Niambi to go inside and find her housemates and tell them that she is not going to beat herself up anymore. Niambi is very emotional and goes to find her housemates. She finds Jodi lying down reading a magazine. She tells Jodi that as of this day she is taking a stand. Jodi realizes Niambi is serious and sits up to give her her full attention. Niambi shows Jodi the photo of herself and says she is taking a stand for the person in that photo and she is not going to beat herself up anymore. In the confessional, Jodi says she was very touched by Niambi's emotions and honesty. Jodi thanks Niambi for sharing with her.

Christie is at Passion Marketing and is meeting with Gary Wexler. He goes over plans for the 5k and gives Christie advice on calling sponsors, etc. In the confessional, Christie says this is a mammoth undertaking and she doesn't know whether she wants it to be as big as Gary is suggesting.

Niambi goes back downstairs where Iyanla is waiting for her. Niambi sits down and Iyanla holds up the photo of Niambi as a child and asks Niambi, "What is her trauma?" Niambi says she was criticized a lot. Iyanla asks her what she wants to say to the people who criticized her. Niambi says she wants to say that she tried her best. Iyanla says Niambi also probably wanted to tell them to shut up and to "leave me the hell alone." She tells Niambi to unlock that little girl's voice and let her speak the "shut up" she's been swallowing for 33 years. Niambi yells "shut the f*ck up! Leave me the hell alone!" Niambi then stands up and screams even louder, "SHUT UP!"

Niambi then sits back down and Iyanla tells her to repeat after her. She tells her to say that she forgives herself for believing she couldn't do it. Niambi repeats after her and adds that she forgives herself for doubting herself. She says she appreciates herself for all she has accomplished in spite of the how bad she felt. Niambi breaks down crying and Iyanla hugs her. Iyanla tells her, "you did so good" again and again. In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi has released her feelings and now has to do some "forgiveness work." She says she will be watching closely to make sure Niambi keeps her commitment to honor herself.

Christie calls and leaves a message for Step Up, a mentorship program that she hopes will be a sponsor of the race.

Iyanla meets with Antonia. The both sit on the couch together and Iyanla has Antonia put her head in her lap. Iyanla asks Antonia if she was a doctor and she discovered a growth on Antonia, would she want her to tell her about it. Antonia says she would, and she says she is a "smart girl" and knows that Iyanla is talking about Antonia's father issues. Iyanla says she has a responsibility to tell Antonia that she has these issues with her dad. Antonia says she has realized through talking with Iyanla that she can no longer pass judgment on her father. She says, however, that she doesn't want to talk to him or see him. She says she feels like she has made a big enough step in just forgiving him. Antonia then changes the subject and tells Iyanla that Sommer came up with an idea for her to turn the $100 she was given into $500. Sommer suggested she do a poetry slam and charge $20 per person to come to the event. Iyanla says that it sounds like a good idea.

Niambi places the photos of herself on the wall in her bedroom. In the confessional, she says she feels sorry for the little girl in the photo because she judged and criticized her too harshly.

Cassie and Antonia are in the dining room. Cassie is telling Antonia about her concerns that her son hasn't called. In the confessional, Cassie says she is starting to become afraid that Dustin's adoptive mother has changed his mind about being in her life. Antonia tells Cassie that any adoptive mom would probably feel threatened. Cassie says she is not trying to take him away from her. She says she lived with the adoptive parents through the last two months of her pregnancy and she thought she had an agreement with them that she would always be in his life. Antonia says she can't believe they lied to Cassie that way. In the confessional, Antonia says Cassie automatically reminded her of her dad and what he did. She says now Cassie has transformed in front of her eyes to a woman she respects. Cassie tells Antonia that she is thankful to her for not being judgmental towards her anymore. The two women hug each other.

Elizabeth Tafel arrives to give the women temporary henna tattoos. All the women gather and Elizabeth paints beautiful designs on their hands, wrists, and ankles.

Cassie calls Dustin to ask him whether he is going to come and visit her at the house. Dustin tells Cassie he was just looking for her number and was about to call her. Cassie asks him whether he is coming and he tells her he doesn't want to be on TV. He says his adoptive mother is "flipping out" and he doesn't want to go on TV and ruin his life. Cassie tells him she understands and then asks him if he is okay. He says, "Yeah, I guess." In the confessional, Cassie says she is going to support her son no matter what he decides.

Preview: Antonia gets a wake-up call. Sommer steps outside her comfort zone. And an unexpected announcement puts everyone on edge (There's going to be a board of review).

Monday, May 01, 2006

Cassie Meets Her Son

The show begins with the women having dinner. In the confessional, Jodi says that Cassie is on her way to meet her son. She says she can't imagine how excited Cassie is and how afraid she must be.

Rhonda and Cassie are walking down the hall to the room in which Cassie's son awaits. In the confessional, Rhonda says Cassie's single biggest goal has always been to meet her son and today is the day. In the confessional, Stan says he has had time to sit and talk with Cassie's son, Dustin, and Dustin's girlfriend, Natalie. He says Dustin has requested that they conceal his identity and they have agreed to honor his request. (ED: They show him, but only from the side. In the confessional, they have him in a darkened room.)

Cassie walks in the room and Dustin stands up and hugs her. They hug for a long time. In the confessional, Dustin says his heart skipped a beat when he saw the person who gave birth to him. In the confessional, Cassie says all the hard work to get to this moment has been worth it.

Cassie and Dustin look into each other's eyes. In the confessional, Cassie says his eyes look just like hers. Cassie then hugs Dustin's girlfriend, Natalie. Dr. Stan asks Dustin how Cassie looks and Dustin says "she is beautiful." Dustin says he is about to cry. Cassie says she has been crying for years. She then tells Dustin she has something for him. She brings out a letter she wrote to him and reads it aloud. In the letter, Cassie tells him her greatest joy was bringing him into the world. She says she wanted to give him a better life than she could give him at the time because she loves him unconditionally. She says through all the years one thing has always remained true: "You matter in this world." In the confessional, Dustin says when Cassie said he matters, it gave him something to "live for."

Cassie tells Dustin she always wanted to be there for him. She says she is here for him and it's up to him whether he wants a relationship with her. Dustin and Cassie are sitting across from each other holding hands. Dustin says it is like looking in a mirror when he looks at Cassie. Dustin tells Cassie he thought she was dead. Cassie tells him that his adoptive mother was just trying to protect him. In the confessional, Dustin says his adoptive mom told him Cassie was dead because she was trying to protect him and he was too young to understand. Cassie says she had to go through missing out on his life, but she says that love eventually won.

Dustin tells Cassie he is proud of her for getting her GED. He says this whole situation is overwhelming for him. He tells Cassie he is really glad to find out who she is, and that she is not a drug addict. He says he can tell by looking at her that she is his mom. He says he wants Cassie to be a part of his life, but he doesn't know what to do. Cassie tells him there is no pressure on him, and that he can take his time to get used to this new situation.

Meanwhile back at the house, Niambi is telling Jodi that she really wants to call or email Mr. Situation. In the confessional, Niambi says she is starting to feel obsessive about Situation Man and misses him a lot. She tells Jodi she has a deep yearning for him. Jodi tells her that her heart and her head are in turmoil.

Back at the hotel, Dustin says he doesn't know what to think. He says he is very happy that there are people here helping him through this meeting. Stan asks Cassie if she has anything else to give Dustin. Cassie tells Dustin that she writes poetry, and that she wrote a poem for him. She brings out the framed poem she wrote, which is entitled, In The Heart of You." She reads it to Dustin. Dustin's girlfriend, Natalie, is crying and so is Rhonda as Cassie reads it.

When Cassie is finished, Dustin tells her it is beautiful. Cassie says she also has something else for him. She says right after she gave Dustin up for adoption she purchased a gold leaf charm. She shows it to him and says she has kept it all this time because it represents how she felt--like a crumpled leaf. She hands it to Dustin and tells him she wants him to have it now. Cassie also has a small music box that she says was given to her by her birth mother. Underneath the lid of the box it reads "hope." She says she wants him to have this box as well. Dustin holds the box and plays it. The box plays "Beautiful Dreamer." Dustin appears to be crying. In the confessional, Cassie says when you give birth to someone there is always a bond.

Natalie is very emotional and crying. Stan says Cassie has shown a great deal of perseverance and his is proud of her. He says he is also proud of Dustin who took a big risk in coming to this meeting. He tells Dustin that he can't go through this whole thing alone and will need a good counselor to help him. Dustin agrees. Stan than says he and Rhonda are going to say goodbye so that Cassie, Dustin and Natalie can have dinner together alone. Dustin hugs Cassie again and picks her up. He calls her "mini-me." In the confessional, Cassie says hugging her son is like home. She says the empty place inside her is now filled up.

Back at the house, the women are sitting in the living room talking. Antonia is apparently planning an open mic poetry reading to raise money. In the confessional, Jodi says Niambi has chosen to isolate herself from the rest of the women and she says she takes it personally.

Niambi is lying in bed journaling. In the confessional, she says she hasn't been open with her housemates because she doesn't yet know them. She says she has been holding back and hasn't been honest.

Cassie arrives back at the house and Christie and Jodi greet and hug her. Cassie tells them that they all cried. She says Dustin told her that he goes to sleep every night feeling like something is missing. He says he will go to sleep tonight and that feeling will no longer be there. In teh confessional, Christie says that Cassie is very brave and she is honored to be a part of her experience.

Later Niambi has gotten out of bed and goes to heat up dinner for herself. She seems to be in a bad mood. In the confessional, Sommer says Niambi has a huge "pocket of anger" inside. In the confessional, Jodi says Niambi is fighting the process and has yet to surrender. Christie says something (ED I didn't catch what she said), and Niambi asks her if she has something to say to her. Christie says "absolutely not."

It's the next morning and Christie is in the confessional. She says Niambi didn't come out of her room all day yesterday and she seems to be back where she started.

Iyanla arrives and in the confessional she says Antonia is convinced that her spending has nothing to do with her father issues. Iyanla and Antonia meet and Iyanla asks her what she needs in her life. Antonia says she needs the support of her family. Iyanla asks her if she has that, and Antonia says she does, with the exception of her dad. Antonia implies she doesn't need her father in her life. Iyanla says Antonia that she must be the only girl in the world who doesn't need her daddy. She asks Antonia what would happen if she allowed herself to miss her dad. Antonia says she's never really had him in her life and so she doesn't know what she is missing.

Iyanla then gives Antonia a present. Antonia opens it and finds a bunch of (fake) dollar bills inside. She says this present is just like the one her father gave her when she was a child. Iyanla tells her the present represents all the things Antonia missed out on by not having her father in her life. Iyanla then tells Antonia to write on each bill something she missed by not having her father around while she was growing up.

Niambi calls Situation Man (EDIT: Niambi disputes that she was talking to "Situation Man"). In the confessional, she says she is overwhelmed with missing him and not speaking with him. Situation Man asks Niambi how she is feeling and she says she is adjusting to the house. Niambi asks him how his girlfriend is doing. He says she is doing allright. Niambi says she wasn't going to call him at all and Situation Man tells her they are going to be okay. Niambi tells him it would be sad if they didn't "find our way back to each other."

Stan arrives and in the confessional, he says he is worried about Cassie and Dustin and their expectations of each other. Cassie and Stan meet and Stan asks Cassie about her feelings regarding the meeting with her son. Cassie looks really happy and talks about how she let Dustin hug her and not the other way around. She says his face has wonderment on it and she knew he could tell she was his mom. She says she knew at that moment that she had made the right decision. Stan says it was a surreal experience for both of them. He says Cassie's smile was as big as her whole face last night. Cassie starts crying and says that she has learned so much by being in the house. She says it has helped her heal and she believes she will be able to help Dustin in his life.

Antonia is doing the assignment Iyanla gave her. In the confessional, she says she already told Iyanla that her father not being in her life has nothing to do with her excessive spending.

Stan continues his conversation with Cassie. He says in the future, Dustin may "act out" with Cassie. He says the high Cassie is on right now won't last. He says Dustin views Cassie as an "angel" right now and they shouldn't get too close too quickly or it could all blow up. In the confessional, Cassie says she has to come down from her clouse now and focus on what's best for her son. Cassie tells Stan that Dustin said "I love you, Mom," to her last night. She asks whether it's okay to let him call her mom. Stan says to let him say whatever he feels. He says Dustin is in a fantasy right now that Cassie is the "good mom." He warns Cassie not to move in with Dustin or pay his bills, etc. He tells Cassie that her job is to be his mentor and help to propel him forward towards a successful life.

Iyanla goes back to Antonia, who has finished writing on the dollar bills all the things she missed out on by not having her father in her life. Iyanla tells Antonia she believes her when she says she doesn't think about her father. She says, however, that Antonia wouldn't have a problem thinking about her dad if she truly wasn't effected by him not being in her life. Then Iyanla brings in a board with a figure of a man drawn on it. The board is labeled, "Dollars For Daddy." She blindfolds Antonia and tells her to pin the dollars on the board. Antonia pins each dollar on the board. Iyanla asks her about other times she has felt like she is "groping in the dark." Antonia says she hasn't felt that way, but Iyanla reminds her that she is in a tremendous amount of debt and was "spending in the darkness."

Jodi and Niambi are talking. Niambi tells Jodi she is who she is, but that she feels like that makes the other women uncomfortable. Jodi tells Niambi that she came to the house because she was isolating herself and wanted to change that.

Antonia has finished pinning the dollar bills on the board and Iyanla sits her down and tells her she can take off the blindfold. Antonia looks at the board and sees she has pinned the dollars all around the figure's heart. Iyanla says she finds that profound and sad. Antonia asks her why she finds it sad. Iyanla tells Antonia that her life tells her story.

Christie and Cassie are talking about the meeting with Cassie's son. Christie says it is amazing how Dustin already accepts Cassie. In the confessional, Cassie says she is starting to panic. She is afraid she made the wrong decision and fears she has made Dustin's life worse by coming into it.

Niambi and Iyanla meet. Iyanla tells her that she senses reluctance in her. Niambi says she is just adjusting to the house and is very grateful to be given this opportunity. She says she wants to build her self-confidence and achieve freedom by being in the house. Iyanla tells her she can't get those things by being in the house. She says those things are already inside Niambi; it will just depend on whether she uses them or not. Iyanla tells Niambi that she senses Niambi is still doing "self-abuse." She says it is self-abuse when we don't say what we want to say, or do what we want to do. Iyanla tells her she will get out of the house what she puts into it. She asks Niambi if she thinks she can change. Niambi says she doesn't know. Iyanla tells her she is concerned and asks Niambi why she is in the house.

Antonia is in bed and Jodi is talking to her about fathers. In the confessional, Jodi says she and Antonia have common ground because of the father issues. She hopes Antonia will be able to open her heart to her dad. In the confessional, Antonia says in her house her dad is a dead issue. She says they are now trying to drag this issue up in the SO house and she just doesn't know how she feels about it.

Preview: Christie faces a major decision. Cassie starts having second thoughts about her son's upcoming visit. And Niambi struggles to stop her self-abuse.

Friday, April 28, 2006

Cassie's Journey Continues

The show begins with Cassie in the confessional talking about meeting her son. She says she is unbelievably excited and can't wait. In the confessional, Christie says everyone is thrilled for Cassie and they are all supporting her the best they can.

Rhonda arrives and gives Antonia some invoices for her room and board. Antonia says the cost has gone up because she ate more snacks, etc., yesterday. Rhonda then calls Cassie outside to meet with her.

Rhonda tells Cassie she doesn't want her to get distracted and to remember to speak in complete sentences. Cassie assures Rhonda she will be okay by the time she meets her son this evening. In the confessional, Rhonda says Cassie must stay grounded and should be prepared for anything tonight. Cassie tries to tell Rhonda more about her conversation on the phone with her son, but can't get the words out because she is so excited. Cassie then tells Rhonda that when she looks at herself now she realizes she is not the same person who walked through the doors of the SO house the first time.

Dr. Stan arrives and in the confessional he says he and Iyanla are concerned about Niambi's unhealthy relationship with Mr. Situation. Stan and Niambi sit down to discuss it. He asks Niambi whether getting in this kind of relationship has been a pattern for her. Niambi says she was in a similar situation before this one. Stan asks her why she is attracted to men who don't want her. Niambi says they give her something to "chase" and a goal she can set out to achieve. Stan tells her that some women go after "unattainable" men because they think if they can just "get him" they will have an elevated status above all other women. He also says that sometimes women think the "bad boy" will not act badly towards them (only towards others), but he says people who act "bad" towards others usually treat everybody in their lives that way. Stan then tells Niambi that Iyanla has arranged for her to meet with a love addiction expert today. He also says that he has a "love game" for Niambi to play with her housemates this evening.

Rhonda and Cassie continue their conversation. Rhonda tells Cassie to let her son take the lead when they meet. She tells Cassie not to feel the need to share everything with him all at once and to let him ask questions and be prepared to answer them. Then Rhonda gives Cassie a gold frame and tells her to create a memento of some kind to give to her son this evening. Rhonda tells Cassie that she will be going to get her nails done today and will also have a make-up artist coming to the house later to help her prepare to meet with her son. In the confessional, Rhonda says Cassie will be meeting with her son at a hotel, so that they will be at a neutral location where they can both feel comfortable.

Jodi arrives at Curves and has a work-out. In the confessional, she says she is happy with the way her body is changing. She says she feels more toned.

In the confessional, Rhonda says she has asked Christie to jog to the park to meet with her. Christie is shown jogging towards the park.

Susan Peabody, the love addiction expert, arrives to meet with Niambi. Susan asks Niambi about her current relationship with Mr. Situation. Niambi tells her they have been seeing each other for two years, but that he is unavailable because he is also seeing someone else. Niambi says if a friend of hers were in her situation, she would tell her friend to run for her life. Susan says it is good that Niambi isn't in denial about her dysfunctional relationship. She says Mr. Situation is cheating on Niambi outside of his primary relationship with her. Niambi tells Susan that he already had a girlfriend when they started seeing each other, and that she (Niambi) is the "other woman" in the relationship. Susan says that information changes things. She says the relationship is unhealthier than she first knew. She tells Niambi that there is "triangulation" going on and Niambi must be the one to break it off.

Niambi says it is difficult because she has strong feelings for him. Susan says she understands that it is hard to give up on love, and that it can be an addiction like cocaine or alcohol. Susan says there will be pain and grief associated with giving up on the relationship, and that Niambi will have to allow herself to feel her emotions.

Jodi helps Cassie put a poem she wrote into the gold frame for her son. Meanwhile, Christie is still jogging to the park. When she gets there, she finds Rhonda waiting for her and they sit down to talk. Christie tells Rhonda she didn't stop the whole way there and Rhonda tells her that means she just ran 1.2 miles, which is quite incredible for somebody who just started working out. Then Rhonda tells Christie she is "officially" in training starting today for a 5k run she will be doing in a few weeks. She tells her that a 5k run is 3.2 miles. Then she tells Christie that not only will she be running the 5k, she will also be creating the run, which means she will be designing the race, the logo, signing people up for it, and deciding on a charity. In the confessional, Christie says she is very excited and honored to get this assignment. In the confessional, Rhonda says that this assignment is the most difficult assignment she has ever given in the SO house. Rhonda tells Christie she will be meeting with Lanre later in the day and that he will be helping her plan the run.

Dr. Stan and Cassie meet. In the confessional, Stan says Cassie must downplay her excitement and focus on her son's needs during the meeting. He said if Cassie doesn't do so, she could jeopardize the entire meeting. Stan asks Cassie whether her son was shocked to find out that she was alive (ED he thought she was dead). Cassie says she doesn't think he has processed it yet. Then he says there is potential for disappointment for Cassie if her son isn't the idealized image she has in her head about him. He says her son may be angry at Cassie, or maybe pull away when they meet. He also tells her to be careful not to alienate him in any way from his adoptive mom. Cassie assures Stan that she won't do that. Stan asks her how difficult it will be for her if her son says it was nice to meet her, but then tells her he doesn't want to see her again. Cassie says it will hurt, but that's not what this whole thing is about. She says she just wants him to know she is there for him should he ever want to have a relationship.

Stan then tells Cassie that he will be meeting with her son first, and then Cassie will come in and meet him. He tells her that what she has accomplished is great, and he is glad she is child-centered and cares about his feelings over her own.

Christie starts her planning for the 5k and talks with her housemates about it. In the confessional, Jodi says she is excited for Christie and is happy that her training has turned into something meaningful for her.

Cassie takes Sommer with her to Hand To Hold, which is a nail salon. Cassie gets a manicure as she and Sommer talk. Sommer tells her they have gone through a lot together and it's nice to be together again.

Niambi is sitting outside smoking a cigarette. She says she feels like she is going through withdrawal in regard to Mr. Situation. She says, however, that because there is a little distance between the two of them, she is starting to gain perspective on the relationship.

Christie goes to a running track and meets with Lanre Idewu. She tells him about the 5k and then they do an "endurance" run around the track. When they are finished, Lanre tells her they ran 2 miles. Lanre says that planning a 5k race takes a lot of effort and planning and is really a full-time job. He and Christie go over some of the planning for the run. In the confessional, Christie says that planning the run is difficult and she is beginning to feel overwhelmed.

Estela Sandoval, a hair/make-up artist, arrives to help Cassie. Estela does Cassie's hair and make-up. Rhonda then arrives. In the confessional, Rhonda says Dr. Stan called her and told her Cassie's son's plane has landed and he is now at the hotel. Rhonda and Cassie leave for the hotel together.

Niambi and the housemates are gathered in the living room for the "love game." Niambi asks the women questions about their love lives. Jodi talks about a guy she dated in Atlanta. She says he was a "hot" struggling actor, and she always paid when they went out together. She says she wanted to be seen with him because he was so attractive. Christie says her first boyfriend hit her and pushed her around. She says she also hit him with a hammer and almost went to jail over it. She says it was a terribly co-dependent relationship. Niambi is not sharing details of her relationships and is being vague when answering questions. In the confessional, Jodi says that this assignment was for Niambi, but while the rest of the women are being open and vulnerable, Niambi is not really sharing.

Rhonda and Cassie are in the SUV on the way to the hotel. Cassie has last-minute jitters, but appears to be holding up well. Rhonda is giving her some pointers as she drives towards the hotel. In the confessional, Cassie says she feels like she is on the verge of fulfilling her dream.

Rhonda and Cassie pull up at the hotel and make their way inside. In the confessional, Cassie says this whole thing is a miracle, but it is a miracle that took a lot of work. She says she will not take it for granted because she worked so hard to get to this point. She says all the hard work was worth it.

The show starts a series of flashbacks about Cassie's story. They flashback to when Cassie first talked about giving her son up for adoption. Then they flashback to Cassie getting the letter from her son's adoptive mother telling Cassie not to contact her son. They also flashback to Cassie making a video for her son, etc. Cassie and Rhonda are walking down the hallway towards the hotel room where Cassie's son and Dr. Stan are presumably waiting. Then they show Cassie in the confessional; she says she is about to open the door and look into her son's eyes. They get to the door and Rhonda asks Cassie if she is ready. Cassie says she is... Rhonda opens the door and she and Cassie walk inside.

Preview for next week: Cassie's reunion with her son is more than she can handle. Antonia's frustration boils over. Christie must make a life-changing decision. Niambi explodes in anger and is forced to defend herself in the board of review.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Free Gifts and Cassie Prepares

The show starts with a continuation of yesterday's announcement that Cassie will be meeting her son. Antonia says she is shaking with anger over Cassie giving her son up for adoption. Cassie asks if Antonia is angry with her, and Antonia says she is angry about the fact that Cassie gave up her son. Jodi says Antonia's father didn't give her up, but Rhonda interrupts and says he did. Rhonda tells Antonia that she is really angry at her father; not Cassie.

Rhonda says Cassie is bringing up a lot of "stuff" for Antonia and Antonia should see that as an opportunity to face the bitter, resentful feelings she has for her father. In the confessional, Rhonda says Cassie can help Antonia to see that her father issues are running her life more than she would like to admit. Rhonda then hugs Cassie and tells them all to have a good day.

Christie tells Cassie she is proud of her for making that call to her son. Cassie says she decided she would just do it on her own and didn't need Stan or Rhonda to help her. She says she talked with her son for about 40 minutes, and he mostly just listened. He did tell her that she has no idea what he has been through. She told him she never intended to not be a part of his life. Cassie says she is thankful that Stan and Rhonda are going to help her prepare to meet her son.

Antonia talks with Niambi and Jodi regarding her feelings about Cassie. She says she just doesn't understand why people can't "get it together" for their kids. Niambi suggests that Antonia needs to deal with her father issues. Antonia asks her, "deal with what?" Niambi tells Antonia that she just "went off" on Cassie and so she obviously has unresolved issues. In the confessional, Antonia says she has no respect for her father. She says she knows it sounds bad, but she just doesn’t. Antonia tells Niambi that she is angry with her father, but "so what." she says it's "a wrap" and that's all there is to it.

Antonia goes and finds Cassie and tells her she wants to apologize if she made her feel bad. She tells Cassie she will not apologize, however, for the way she feels. Cassie tells her it is all right and that she doesn't have any animosity towards her. In the confessional, Cassie says Antonia is helping her because her son may approach her with anger and she wants to be prepared if that happens. Antonia asks Cassie a little more about why she gave up her son. Cassie says she wanted a better life for him. Antonia asks her what she wants from a relationship with her son now. Cassie says it isn't about what she wants, but about what her son wants.

Antonia finds another invoice on the floor near the front door and shows it to Jodi. In the confessional, Antonia says paying for everything is a brand new experience for her. She says at home she just wouldn't open her bills.

Two young men from a massage company arrive and set up massage chairs to give all the women massages. Antonia gets her massage, and then the massuese tells her he charges $1 per minute. She owes him $10 for the massage. Antonia falls on the floor and says they are "messing with her serenity." Niambi is laughing and says the whole situation has made her day and is "hilar" (meaning hilarious).

Dr. Stan and Rhonda arrive for group. Rhonda asks how the massages went, and Antonia says she had to pay. Stan tells her there is nothing unusual about having to pay for a service. He tells Antonia she should have asked if it would cost her before getting the massage.

Rhonda then says she wants to go over Sommer's story a little more. She opens the plasma and shows a photo of when Sommer was at her heaviest weight. Sommer says that was her biggest, and she finds it bizarre to see herself at that weight because she no longer identifies with the girl in the photo. In the confessional, Christie says it is really nice having Sommer in the house because they have a lot in common. Next Rhonda shows Sommer's self-portrait; it is of a sun. Stan says it is interesting that Sommer intentionally did not draw herself, but instead drew the sun to represent herself. Sommer says she doesn't want to focus on her looks. Rhonda says she wants Sommer to be best friends with her own body. She does not want her to deny or avoid it. Rhonda tells Sommer she looks forward to supporting her and helping her achieve her goals. Group is adjourned.

Rhonda and Cassie meet. Rhonda asks Cassie what would happen if her son decided not to show up tomorrow. Cassie says she would be hurt, but her heart would hurt for him more than for herself. Cassie then shows Rhonda the papers she has collected to show her son. She shows her hospital records, letters she has written to him, etc. She says these things are proof that she has been searching for him. Rhonda says Cassie doesn't need to prove that. She says Cassie's son just wants to meet his mother. Cassie says the first thing he asked her was, "why now?" She says she wants him to know she has been looking for him all along. Rhonda asks her to name the one thing she wants her son to know. Cassie says she wants him to know that she loves him. Cassie starts crying.

Rhonda tells Cassie she doesn't have to do all these things to prove it. She says Cassie is a mature, compassionate woman who is all grown-up now. She tells Cassie to just be herself. Cassie stops crying and said she just needed to get that out and feels better now. In the confessional, Rhonda says she has arranged for Cassie to meet a man who reunited with his birth mother as an adult. She also tells Cassie that Andy Paige is coming over to help her pick out an outfit for her meeting with her son.

Dr. Stan arrives to meet with Sommer. Sommer tells him she wants to apologize to him. She says she knows a lot of effort went into her process the last time she was at the house, and she is sorry she through it all away. Stan says he is disappointed for Sommer, but she just wasn't ready then. Stan then invites Rhonda to join them. Rhonda says that one of Sommer's steps is to develop healthy intimacy. She says Sommer needs to learn how to interact with different personality types. Stan says it takes time to get to know people, but Sommer has the habit of getting too close too fast with people. Rhonda says that scares people because it is inappropriate to immediately become best friends with someone. They then show a flashback of the last time Sommer was in the house and she was doing the "people pleaser" exercise.

Rhonda tells Sommer that today a group of people are going to be coming over to make chili with her. She says each person will have a different personality type and Sommer must identify it. Rhonda hands Sommer name tags--each tag has a name and a personality trait written on it e.g. "Passive Patty" and "Manipulative Mark." Sommer has to decide who is who while they are making chili together.

Andy Paige arrives to take Cassie shopping. They hug and Andy comments that Cassie looks wonderful and very happy. They leave to go shopping.

Rhonda calls all the women into the living room. After they gather, Antonia says she is angry because she was eating her omelet and it is now getting cold. Rhonda tells her she doesn't want her at this meeting anyway and sends her outside so she can talk to the other women without her hearing. Antonia leaves and Rhonda tells the women that today they are going to help support Antonia with an exercise. Today is going to be a day of "indulgences." She says indulgences will be offered as gifts, but Antonia will be required to pay if she partakes of them. She tells the women not to let Antonia ruin their good time. Rhonda then calls Antonia back in. She tells all the women, including Antonia, that today they will be receiving "treats." Antonia asks whether it is going to cost her money. Rhonda says she doesn't know. Antonia asks her to find out for her, but Rhonda says she will have to find out for herself.

Dr. Stan meets with Antonia. He asks her how she is doing in the house. Antonia says she is doing fine, but mentions the issue she had with Cassie. She tells Stan that she couldn't apologize to her for how she felt. Stan tells her that she saw her father in Cassie. He says that Antonia says she doesn't care about her dad, but it's clear she does have unresolved feelings about him.

Cassie and Andy are shopping together. Cassie tries on various outfits until she finds one she thinks is perfect for her.

Stan continues talking with Antonia. He says that the reason Antonia says she doesn't care about her father is because she thinks he doesn't deserve for her to care about him. In the confessional, Stan says abandonment issues surrounding Antonia’s father’s absence are running her life. Stan tells Antonia that she should think about incorporating her issues with her father into the work she is doing in the house. Then Stan gives Antonia a stack of money. She asks if it is a loan, and Stan says it is her "salary" for the next couple of days. Then he gives her a $150 bill for his services today.

All the women go to a clothing store called It's A Wrap. They meet with the owner, Tiara Nappi. Tiara tells them that they can pick out one item and that it's a "free gift." In the confessional, Antonia says nothing is free and she knows now that everything will cost her something. The women look around and choose the item they want. Antonia helps them, but doesn't choose anything for herself. After everybody has picked out something, Tiara asks Antonia what she has chosen. Antonia says she can't get anything because she is in debt.

Dr. Stan arrives with a group of actors in tow. In the confessional, Stan says the actors he has with him are each going to act out a certain personality type, but like in the real world, they are not going to be obvious about it. He said it will be a difficult exercise for Sommer to figure out who is who. The actors and Sommer go into the kitchen and start making chili together. In the confessional, Sommer says she is having a hard time figuring out the different personality types and is struggling.

A jewelry designer, Natalie Bauer, arrives with a lot of necklaces, earrings, etc. She tells the women they can each choose one piece as a free gift. Antonia looks a little frustrated because she knows she can't get anything. The other women gather around the jewelry and choose which piece they want. In the confessional, Antonia says she is happy for the other women, but she also would like to get some of that jewelry. She says she wants it all, but can't have any of it and it is causing her to shut down. Natalie asks Antonia to pick out a piece of jewelry, but Antonia tells her she can't because she is in debt. Natalie says it is free, but Antonia says, "Not for me it isn't, honey." Natalie then packs up to leave and wishes them all well.

David Clem, a man who was united with his birth mother as an adult, arrives to meet with Cassie. They sit down to talk and Cassie asks him when he found out he was adopted. David says he always knew. He says he searched for his birth mother and found her when he was 19. He says he called her and thanked her for his life. Cassie asks what his mom said, and David said she started crying. David says they met for the first time at LAX and she immediately looked at his hands and counted his fingers because "that's what mothers do."

Sommer continues trying to figure out the different personality types as they are making the chili. Dr. Stan comes into the kitchen and asks them all to gather in the living room. He then asks Sommer to put the labels on each actor and see whether she was able to discern each personality type. Sommer does so and then Stan asks each of them to reveal which personality type they were playing. Sommer got 3 out of 5 correct. Stan says it takes a long time to get to know someone and to truly get to know them. In the confessional, Sommer says she has realized two things: One, she doesn't want to meet people in bars anymore, and two, she has to stop bringing people into her inner circle so rapidly.

David and Cassie continue talking. David tells Cassie about his birth mother meeting his adoptive mother. He says it was a very positive and emotional experience and the two women embraced and thanked each other. Cassie asks David whether his birth mother felt guilty for giving him up for adoption. David says she still feels guilty, but he doesn't want her to feel that way because he has had a good life. She asks whether David was ever angry at his birth mother, but David says he never was. In the confessional, Cassie says she is grateful to David for sharing this very special event in his life.

Antonia finds another invoice on the floor by the front door and shows it to Niambi. In the confessional, Niambi says she really hopes Antonia will get her debt issues under control.

Cassie gets a call from her friend Mimi. Mimi says it is so exciting that Cassie is really going to get to meet her son. Cassie agrees and says she just can't believe it. In the confessional, Cassie says today has been a roller coaster of emotions. She says she can't help but fear that her son may not show up.

Preview: After almost 20 years apart, Cassie prepares to meet her son. Christie receives stunning news. Niambi gets a wake-up call about her love life.