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Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Goodbye -The Final Episode-

The show begins with Christie in the confessional. She says she is very tired and has only had four hours of sleep. In the confessional, Niambi says she is excited that race day is here. She says her frustration is gone and she looks forward to enjoying the last day with everyone. Jodi gathers the women and they all get in the van and leave for the 5k race.

The women arrive at the race site and set up balloons, etc., for the event. In the confessional, Christie says she is hoping to run on adrenaline today. She says she is ready to have a good time and to express her passion and spirit. Christie's mom, Elaine, and her sister, Cassie, arrive for the race. In the confessional, Christie says she is very happy that they are there and she wants to make them proud.

Rhonda, Dr. Stan, and Iyanla have arrived as well. In the confessional, Rhonda says "this is it!" She says these are the crucial moments before the big event.

The women and guests gather and Rhonda stands before them. She says that this run is Christie's final assignment and she could not have done it without the support of many people. Then Rhonda takes out a bullhorn and begins announcing the Starting Over graduates from all three seasons. She calls out each of their names, and they each run over a hill and gather together. In the confessional, Christie says it is so awesome to see the women who have paved the way for her.

After everyone is gathered, Christie makes a speech. She says she is honored to stand before them and is truly blessed. She says that all of these women, the Starting Over graduates, speak the same language and they all know how she feels. She says she is a changed woman and she now wants to give back and help others.

Dr. Stan then announces the beginning of the race. Everyone starts jogging, running, or walking the course. As the race goes on, women from the past seasons are spotlighted in the confessional.

Megg from season two says she came into the house to overcome her fear of riding in elevators and airplanes. She says she is now doing both. Renee, also from season two, says she came into the house to step into adulthood. She says she is now in school to develop a career in fashion marketing. Nyanza from season one says she came to Starting Over to learn to develop real relationships. She says thanks to SO she is now married and has a solid relationship. Allison from season two and three says that Starting Over saved her life. She says she entered the house with dis-ease and disillusionment. She says she can now "be me," and is in a different world. Lisa N from seasons three says she is now very connected to others. Candy from season two says she came to the house to find her feminine side. She says she came to the race today to show that change is possible. Lynell from season one says the race is an amazing experience and she is very happy to be here today. Audrey from season one says she went into the house to be a singer/songwriter. She says she is now in the recording studio working with a Grammy-award winner. Maureen from season one says she fulfilled her goal up being a stand-up comic. TJ from season three says she entered the house in order to become more connected and more grounded. She says she definitely has those things now.

Andy Paige is the first person to reach the finish line. In the confessional she says she is a firm believer that you can "teach an old dog new tricks." Everyone else makes their way across the finish line. Christie struggles a little bit to make it across, and Rhonda takes her arm and runs the last steps with her. In the confessional, Christie says when she crossed the finish line she felt a sense of freedom, support, and confidence in herself and in her passion to help others.

After the race is over, Christie thanks her housemates who helped her with this final assignment. She then introduces Laura Drobst of the Women's Network. Christie then announces that they have raised over $4,100 with today's race. Laura and Christie hug and everyone claps.

In the confessional, Iyanla says now that the race has reached a conclusion she has to clear up some unfinished business with Niambi. She says she is concerned with how Niambi is holding up after their difficult conversation last night.

Everyone is now back at the house and Iyanla arrives to meet with Niambi. In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi is struggling with not graduating. She says Niambi's real problem runs deeper, however, and she hopes that Niambi's vulnerable state will help Iyanla get to the heart of the matter.

Iyanla asks Niambi how she is doing. Niambi says she hates to leave before finishing what she started. She says she realizes now that she has a lot more to do than she thought. Iyanla then asks Niambi to tell her what hurts her on an average day. Niambi says a better question would be what doesn't hurt her. She says she is clinically depressed. Iyanla asks her whether she has been diagnosed, and Niambi says a doctor did give her that diagnosis a few years ago. She says it is very hard to acknowledge, and conjectures that it is so difficult for pride or cultural reasons. Iyanla says it is a little of both. Iyanla says depression is an internal response to an external event. In the confessional, Iyanla says now that Niambi acknowledges her problem, she can deal with it.

Iyanla tells Niambi that her success was that she got up everyday in the house (even though she is depressed). She tells Niambi they have had a victory by Niambi realizing something else is going on. Niambi and Iyanla hug.

All the women from the current and past seasons have arrived at the house and everyone is gathered by the pool. Dr. Stan, Iyanla, and Rhonda are also there. Stan tells the women that they have had a rare opportunity to change their lives and in changing their lives they also helped countless others. He asks the women to share what it means to them to be a Starting Over woman.

Jill stands up first and says the opening of the show says, "This house changed my life." She says that is completely and totally true for her. She says she came in with a lot of baggage and was denying all of it. She says she can now say "here I am," and she stands in who she is for the first time in her life.

Sommer stands up next and tells the story of getting an email from a woman who was watching Sommer's story (the first time she was in the house). She says the women told her she was a new mother and had watched Sommer's "stupid exercise" and that it had gotten her through a difficult time. Sommer says she wrote the woman back and had to tell her she left the house before graduating and felt terrible about it. The woman wrote her back and sent her a photo of her baby daughter. She told Sommer that any time she feels like she failed she should look at the photo of that baby and realize that she saved that baby's mother's life. Sommer says it meant so much to her.

Cassie R from season one says the SO house made her realize that she could achieve her dreams. Rhonda asks Cassie when she will be graduating from college, and Cassie says she will soon be finished with school. Rhonda says that shows how long SO has been in existence because Cassie started college in season one of SO and now she is almost finished.

Kim from the current season is next to speak. She is very emotional and says the SO house gave her the opportunity to feel her feelings. She says she had been blocking off her feelings because she didn't want to feel pain. She says that now she can give and receive authentic love and she is honored and privileged to have been in the house. She tells all the women that she loves each and every one of them.

Lisa A, also from the current season says 2005 was the best year of her life. She says when she came into the house she thought nobody loved her and she had lost all her friends. She says she now has many friends and is emailing/talking on the phone with them all the time. She thanks everyone and says she is a new person.

Haley from season one says she came into the house a "brat." She says she learned how to get along with her mom and that she couldn't have made the changes in her life that she has made without SO.

Antonia from the current season says she does have some fear of leaving the house. She says she is like a baby learning to walk. She says she has had no contact with her father in 10 years because he is in prison, and she didn't know she even needed to address that issue before coming to SO. She says she realized she needed to address it when she "flipped out" on Cassie for giving her son up for adoption (which reminded her of her issues with her dad). She says she told Jill she was not ready to contact her father yet, and Jill told her to "get ready to get ready." Antonia says that is what she is going to do once she leaves the house.

Andy Paige is next to speak. She says she was nurtured in the SO house. She says it is easier to try when you know that if you fail, the women in the house all have your back. She says once she went back out into the "real world," however, she found that some people will hurt you when you offer an open heart to them. She says all that means is that those people are afraid and just like she used to be. She says when you can understand that, you can make friends with them.

Iyanla then speaks. She says there is one sister here today who is not quite completed in her journey. She says this woman is courageous to not see that as a failure, but to instead move forward in her life. She asks all the women sitting there to be Niambi's accountability partners. She then asks Niambi to share her intentions.

Niambi stands up and says she intends to walk through the doors of the SO house with her head held high. She says she intends to get the graduation statue. She says she has referred to the SO house as the "magic kingdom" and she now realizes that "I am the magic." She says she now has friends for life and a coach for life. She says she has a sense of self and knows herself more than she could have ever imagined. She tells everyone that she will see them at the "top" because that is where she will be. In the confessional, Antonia says she is proud of how much Niambi has accomplished and she will be there for her and be her friend forever.

Iyanla addresses the women and says she learned to live out loud a long time ago. She says she learned how dangerous and devastating silence can be. She says she believe that if you tell your story, it will heal you. She says being a part of SO has allowed her to edit and rewrite her story and doing it in a public way has been a freeing experience. She says she is honored and thanks all the women for allowing her to be part of their process. She says if she has helped just one person, her living is not in vain.

Stan is next to speak. He says he is an emotional man (you can ask his wife and children), and then starts choking up with emotion. He says he feels so much joy and exuberance from being a part of the house. He says he has had a unique role in the house and was somewhat of an outsider, but that everyone embraced him and welcomed him. He says he has been a psychologist for many years and has worked with many people, but he has never worked with the women so courageous and motivated. He says "because of you, I am a better man today."

Rhonda speaks next. She says she loves to see a "soul unfold." She says she has gotten to see that so often in the SO house. She says she has embraced the opportunity to share what she knows and to share with them her own healing and transformation. She thanks all the women and tells them to go and share what they have learned with the world.

The women of the previous seasons then leave the house. Jill then says goodbye and hugs everyone. In the confessional, Jill says she has achieved all her goals and she couldn't ask for more. Jill leaves the house for the last time.

Jodi is next to leave. She is crying and she and Iyanla are hugging. In the confessional, Jodi says saying goodbye is bittersweet. She says she has had an amazing experience and now is a time of new beginnings. Jodi leaves.

Sommer is next to say her goodbyes. She hugs everyone and Stan tells her is very happy that she graduated. In the confessional, she is crying and says she it is an incredible feeling to leave the house with her statue. She says she feels pride in herself and values herself now. Sommer leaves.

Antonia is next to leave. Stan tells her he expects great things from her. In the confessional, she says she in love with her housemates. She says she is sad to leave, but she is leaving a changed woman. She says it is sad, but sweet. Antonia leaves.

Christie is next to say goodbye. In the confessional, she says she is grateful and feels blessed. She pledges to give back and share her new-found strength with other women.

Iyanla then tells Niambi that she, Rhonda, and Dr. Stan want to talk with her. She is the final woman left in the house. In the confessional, Iyanla says before they can close up the house, they have unfinished business with "Miss Niambi."

Rhonda tells Niambi that she (Niambi) is still trusting the process. She says they are all holding her, even though they are not together. Iyanla tells Niambi that she will never leave her ever. Then she says "we have some work to do." She tells Niambi she has statue for her. Iyanla brings out a statue, but it is blank and doesn't yet have a plate. She puts the statue on the fireplace mantle and tells Niambi that when she sees herself in the statue, she will be ready to leave. In the confessional, Niambi says the SO house is like a cocoon, and you leave a beautiful butterfly. She says she has had a powerful, invaluable experience in the house. She says she knows one day her statue will read, “running enthusiastically toward life.”

Iyanla hugs Niambi and Niambi is crying. Niambi then leaves and Stan, Rhonda, and Iyanla stand outside the door of the house with their arms around each other. Stan says he thinks Niambi is going to make it and that all the women are going to make it.

The show then does a series of flashbacks from seasons three. At the end, Rhonda says the key word in Starting Over is "start." She says "contemplate that word in your life and say, yes I can start over."

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Christie Graduates

The show begins with Christie in the confessional. She says today is her graduation day and she is thrilled. She says she has never followed through and completed something of this magnitude.

Niambi is on the phone with Iyanla. Iyanla tells her she is to go to a jewelry store today and choose charms for a serenity bracelet they will put together later in the day. In the confessional, Iyanla says it is a difficult time for Niambi because everyone is graduating around her.

The women gather for group and Rhonda arrives. Rhonda calls Christie to sit next to her and then opens the plasma to reveal Christie's old self-portrait. Christie says she traced the image of the woman in her old self-portrait because she was afraid that if she drew it herself it would look stupid. Then they put up on the plasma Christie's new self-portrait. Christie says she drew this one herself. Niambi says that the new self-portrait has big bold words like cornerstones for Christie's life. In the confessional, Jodi says Christie is a powerful woman and she (Christie) is realizing that now.

Rhonda asks Christie whether she is ready for the 5k tomorrow. Christie says she is ready and looking forward to it. Rhonda then gives Christie a present; it is a box of medals for the runners tomorrow. Christie was unable to get the medals in time and thought she wouldn't have them by race day. Christie is happy to get them and shows them to all the women. Rhonda then announces that Andy Paige is there to take Christie out for her makeover. Andy makes her entrance and in the confessional, Jill says she hopes Andy will be "stopping Repunzal" by getting Christie to cut her hair. Christi and Andy leave together and group is adjourned.

Niambi and Jill are talking about their mother issues. Niambi says when she came to the house she believed her dad was all bad, and her mom was all good. She says Iyanla told her it was time to tell the truth. In the confessional, Jill says it was a big step for both of them to disclose difficulties in their relationships with their mothers because it isn't culturally accepted to air their private business in public.

Andy and Christie arrive at a clothing store called Dressed Up. Andy shows her various dresses she has picked out for her. Christie says she is a little nervous because she doesn't want to wear anything too short or revealing. She says, however, that she wants a dress that is form fitting and feminine.

Iyanla arrives to meet with Jill. In the confessional, Iyanla says Jill is having a difficult time with her mother. She says Jill went and visited her formerly estranged father for Christmas, and didn't even send her mom a card. Iyanla says that Jill does not have a peaceful balance with her parents. Jill tells Iyanla that it is very difficult to speak to her mother about her father. She says her mom feels abandoned because Jill met with her father. Iyanla asks Jill how she would feel if she were her mother. She says Jill's mother raised her all alone and was abandoned by Jill's father. Then 40 years later, the father is back and Jill goes to see him for Christmas and doesn't even go send her mom a card. Jill says she would feel abandoned, angry, and sad if she were her mom. Iyanla says Jill didn't mean to make her mom feel that way, but that is exactly what she did. She says Jill unintentionally did to her mom what Jill's dad did to Jill.

Niambi goes shopping at Jewel Art for the charms to make her bracelet. In the confessional Niambi says she feels that her life is in other people's hands right now, and she finds the loss of control frightening.

Christie continues trying on dresses at Dressed Up. She says she is used to hiding her body by wearing jeans and big sweatshirts and that wearing a revealing dress is a risk.

Jill and Iyanla continue their conversation. Jill is crying and Iyanla tells her that her (Jill's) mom feels hurt and scared. She says Jill is not responsible for how her mom feels, but she should meet her mom in that place. Jill asks Iyanla how she can get rid of the desire to "fix" her mom. Iyanla says to stop believing that her mom is broken. Iyanla then tells Jill to go wash her face and then they will call Jill's mom together. She says acknowledment is the "first step towards healing."

Andy and Christie arrive at a hair salon. In the confessional, Andy says she wants to try to get Christie to donate her hair to Locks Of Love. Andy tells Christie that her "old" hair represents the person she used to be when she was drinking, doing drugs, etc. She says Christie is a new person now and can let go of the old hair.

Jill and Iyanla call Jill's mom on speakerphone. Iyanla tells Jill's mom, Lynda, that she is going to facilitate the conversation and is there for support. Iyanla asks Lynda how she felt when Jill didn't get in touch with her over the holiday. Lynda says she felt left out. She says you just don't forget your mom on Christmas and says she felt terrible when she didn't hear from Jill. She says she was shocked and felt alone and neglected.

Jill tells her mom she wants to acknowledge how her mom felt and says she apologizes for the "depths of her soul." She asks her mom for forgiveness. Her mom accepts Jill's apology and thanks her. In the confessional, Iyanla says Jill and her mom can now move forward with a loving relationship.

Christie and Andy are at the hair salon and Andy is telling Christie they should take off 8-12" of hair for Locks Of Love. Christie is a little hesitant at first. In the confessional, Christie says she would have said no to the haircut if it weren't going to a good cause. She says she wants to give back for all she has received, and she agrees to the haircut. The stylist cuts off 8" and then washes and colors Christie's hair.

Starting Over graduates Kelly, Kim, and Lisa arrive at the house. All the women are excited to see them. Niambi and Kim sit and talk for a minute. Kim asks Niambi how things are going in the house, and Niambi says "it is what it is." In the confessional, Niambi says it is difficult to watch everyone graduating. She says she feels exhausted and left out.

Rhonda, Iyanla, and Dr. Stan arrive. Everyone gathers for Christie's graduation while Andy puts the finishing touches on Christie's make-up.

Christie comes in and everyone stands up and claps for her. (ED Her hair looks great and she is wearing a pretty green dress.) In the confessional, Jodi says she is very happy to see that Christie got her haircut. She says Christie looks very polished now and is breathtaking.

Everyone takes a seat and Rhonda goes to the podium. Rhonda says when Christie first came into the house she was a beautiful woman who didn't know it. She says Christie's goal, Learning To Love Herself, was impeded at first because Christie had so much baggage from her past. She says Christie had so much baggage that she didn't know herself. She says one of Christie's most difficult challenges was giving up her addictions. They flashback to when Christie did the exercise in which she threw liquor bottles, pills, etc., into the fire pit outside. Rhonda says Christie realized that her addictions had become too powerful in her life and she recognized that she had to let them go.

Rhonda says Christie had numbed herself so much with her addictions that she didn't know who she was. She says a major difficult Christie faced was her feelings of loneliness. They flashback to the time Christie's housemates were instructed to ignore her and show how upset Christie was about it. Rhonda says Christie's day of loneliness was a turning point for Christie. She says Christie realized that every time she wanted to give up and numb out, it was because she felt lonely, and that Christie faced that loneliness instead of running away.

Rhonda says Christie next faced her issues with her mom and Christie and Kim joined together to deal with their mother issues. Rhonda says that Christie then had a luncheon with her mom in which she let her mom off the hook. They flashback to the day Christie and her mom met. Rhonda says on that day Christie became an adult. Rhonda says her wish for Christie is that she realizes she has the fortitude, passion, and dedication to accomplish anything she wants. She says "just walk into the future and claim it." Rhonda congratulates Christie and they hug.

Iyanla goes to the podium next. Iyanla says there are no words to describe Christie's brilliance and beauty. She says Christie is the brilliance and beauty of love. She says Christie has sunflowers (that the women gave her when she walked in the room), and that sunflowers close up at night when the sun goes down. She says her wish for Christie is that she allow her brilliance to shine in the darkest places of her life and in the darkest places of the world. Iyanla congratulates Christie.

Stan is next to the podium. He says that when he thinks of what Starting Over means, he thinks about Christie. He says she came into the house not fully acknowledging the depth of her issues and problems, but made a remarkable transformation. He then mentions that Christie will be raising her brother, Cain. In the confessional, Christie says Cain was "hanging on by a thread" and that she has decided to raise him. She hopes to inspire him and help him to become a wonderful person. Stan congratules Christie.

Kelly goes to the podium next. She tells Christie she looks beautiful. She says the first day she (Kelly) got to the house, Christie said she was scared of her. Kelly says she knew then that she and Christie would be close. Kelly says she can scare people a bit, but she is not a scary person. She says her hope for Christie is that she creates a soft, safe place for Cain and that she knows she doesn't have to be perfect. Kelly and Christie hug each other.

Jodi goes to the podium next. She says she and Christie entered the house within four days of each other and have gone through the whole journey together. She tells Christie that she promises to help her with Cain financially and with love and support. She tells Christie to put one foot in front of the other and she will get to where she wants to be. She tells Christie she loves her.

Rhonda, Iyanla, and Christie then go to the podium and Iyanla presents Christie with her graduation gifts. They are giving Christie a vacation to Big Bear in California to give Christie and Cain bonding time together. They are also giving her $1500 to help her with moving expenses and furniture so she can create a warm home for Cain and herself.

Rhonda then presents Christie with her trophy. Rhonda says the trophy is very rare and only people who have gone through the SO process successfully gets one. She says she is honored to include Christie in that group. The trophy reads, "Loveable-Starting Over 2006."

Christie is up at the podium. She says she feels so blessed to have been chosen to be in the house. She tells Rhonda that she has never had someone look at her with such pride in her eyes the way Rhonda looks at her. She says she is very grateful to Rhonda and that Rhonda is her inspiration. She says Iyanla is powerful and that her words speak to her (Christie's) soul. She says Dr. Stan has been her soft place, and has also been the male role model she never had. She also tells Stan he is looking particularly hot tonight.

Christie then thanks her housemates for the opportunity to share this journey. She says Kelly is the epitome of "mother" to her and she always wished she had had a mom like Kelly. She tells Jodi she is grateful to her and loves her. She says Jodi has taught her many priceless things. She says Niambi is her "biggest gift." She says Niambi has taught her a lot, and that she will be there for Niambi whenever Niambi can look at Christie the same way Christie looks at her. She says she will be there for her without judgment.

Christie then thanks everyone again and in the confessional, she says she feels loveable tonight. She says she is a different person and has started over. After the graduation ceremony, Christie goes outside and floats her candle in the pool.

Later, Kim, Kelly, and Lisa say goodbye and leave the house. Niambi looks sad and is sitting on the couch alone. In the confessional, Iyanla says she is going to have a heart to heart with Niambi and that "all is not lost."

Niambi and Iyanla sit at a table and talk. Niambi has brought the charms she bought today and Iyanla looks them over. Iyanla then asks Niambi what she is ready to do. Niambi says she is ready to be honest about who she is and what she wants. Iyanla asks Niambi what she believes she can have right now and just as she is. Niambi doesn't answer. Iyanla says she can't help Niambi if Niambi doesn't have a vision. Iyanla then tells the story of Seabiscuit. Seabiscuit, she says, was a thoroughbred horse, but he was a runt. The trainers, therefore, used Seabiscuit to train other horses. They would have him run against the other thoroughbreds, but would pull back on his reins and never let him go too fast or win a race. She says Seabiscuit was trained to lose. Iyanla asks Niambi if she was trained to lose, and Niambi says she thinks she was in a lot of areas of her life.

Iyanla says Seabiscuit had to be trained to win. She says one trainer recognized himself in Seabiscuit and he took it upon himself to train the horse to win. Iyanla says the trainer trained Seabiscuit to win by letting go of the reins instead of reigning in the horse. She says Iyanla has to do the same with Niambi; she has to let her go. She says Niambi is not prepared to graduate. She says Niambi's vision is not clear enough yet. Niambi starts crying and Iyanla asks her how she feels. Niambi says she is tired of hearing she is "brilliant, but..." and "I love you, but..." Iyanla says that she is saying "and" and not "but." She says she is saying, "You’re brilliant AND you need to get your vision clear."

Niambi says she didn't get to do what she came to the house to do. Iyanla tells Niambi she is not done. She says, however, that Niambi needs to figure out why she has a lack of clarity. She says that is the work Niambi needs to do. In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi's lack of vision speaks to a deeper issue and she thinks Niambi can deal with that issue when she leaves the house.

Preview: Niambi learns what her fate in the house will be. After weeks of planning, Christie faces her biggest challenge, but she isn't alone. The women look back at the house that changed their lives forever.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Antonia Graduates and Jill's Father Visits

The show begins with Antonia in the confessional talking about graduating today. She is very excited and says she has "really started over." Jennie McNulty, a representative of Curves, arrives to lead the women in a workout at the tennis court. In the confessional, Sommer says it is freezing outside, she is tired, and she just doesn't feel like working out. The women jog around the tennis court a few times and then Jenny gives them some tips on running the 5k.

In the confessional, Jill says her family on her father's side is coming to the house today. She says she has some trepidation about the meeting.

Rhonda arrives and in the confessional she says she wants to be sure that Christie understands how organizing and running the 5k applies to Christie's life. Rhonda tells Christie that she wants her to go get her body painted today as a way of fully expressing herself. In the confessional, Rhonda says this assignment will determine whether Christie has overcome her body issues. She tells Christie that she will be wearing a bikini top and shorts to have her body painted. In the confessional, Christie says she is thinking, "Holy crap," when Rhonda tells her about the assignment and she doesn't want to do it.

The women gather for group and Iyanla arrives. Iyanla calls Antonia up to sit next to her and asks her how she feels about graduating today. Antonia says she knows now that she can finish what she starts and that she can work hard to fix things in her life. Iyanla tells Antonia that she will be getting a makeover from Andy Paige today and then brings in Andy. Andy asks Antonia's housemates whether they have suggestions for the makeover. Jodi says she thinks Antonia should be open to getting her eyebrows done. Jill agrees and says it would give Antonia a polished look. Antonia is against it however, and in the confessional she says she is not going to do it. Andy and Antonia leave and group is adjourned.

Jill's father, stepmother, and two brothers arrive at the house. In the confessional, Jill says she can't explain the joy she is feeling at having her father's side of the family all come to see her.

Christie leaves to go get her body painted. She arrive at the Beauty Academy and meets with Jeff Siegel. In the confessional, Christie says she is nervous about this assignment, but is going to talk herself through it. Christie lies down on a table and Jeff and another man begin painting Christie's arms.

Antonia and Andy arrive at the clothing store called Ma Jolie, and meet with the owner, Lisa Stern. Antonia tries on various outfits and finds one she is very excited about wearing for her graduation.

Iyanla, Jill, and Jill's family sit down to talk. Iyanla thanks them for coming and asks Jill's father, Leonard, whether he has anything to share with Jill. Leonard says he is not an "advocate" of looking to the past and wishing things were different, but he is an advocate of looking to the future and hoping for things to come. He says back when Jill was conceived, he was living a very "self-centered" existence. He said there was a stigma concerned with having a child out of wedlock back then, so when he found out Jill's mom was pregnant, he "did the right thing" and married her. He says, however, that then his selfishness took over, and he wasn't able to stick it out in the marriage, and they winded up getting a divorce.

Iyanla asks Jill how she feels about what her father has said. Jill says she feels that she and her father made a mistake (when her mom got pregnant with her). Jill won't look at her father as she is speaking and Iyanla tells her to look at him. Jill starts crying. Iyanla tells Jill she has waited 40 years to talk to her father, and she needs to talk to him now. She says, "you can do it."

Jill is crying and she tells her father that she feels like she was a mistake. Leonard says that is far from true. He says he and Jill's mom never felt that way about her. He says he was just lost back then. Iyanla then asks Jill to share what she knows about the events that led to her father leaving. Jill says she was told that Leonard came home from the military, and when Jill's mom told him she was pregnant, he decided he didn't want a family and he left. Leonard agrees that this is basically the way it happened. In the confessional, Jill says she was thinking all along that perhaps the story her mom told her about Leonard wasn't true, but it turns out it is the truth. She says the realization is the closest she has come to feeling stabbed.

Jill says the biggest question she has is why Leonard never contacted her. She says his lack of contact made her feel that she was unwanted her whole life. Leonard then "humbly" asks Jill to find it in her heart to forgive him. Jill is crying, and so is Leonard and Leonard's wife. Jill tells her father that she forgives him and that she looks forward to their relationship as adult father and daughter. Leonard then asks his two sons who are also there (Brad and Winston) to forgive him as well because his early decisions fractured the family.

One of Jill's brothers, Winston, then speaks up. He says in their family they don't normally open up or get emotional. He says he knows how difficult it is for Leonard to be so open now, and he tells Jill that what their father is saying is genuine and truly heartfelt. He also tells Jill that he and Brad want a relationship with her too. Jill's step mom, Celeste, then says the dad Jill sees today is a "new dad." She says Leonard is being sincere and that "it's real." She says Jill will find love, support, and caring from them. Leonard and Jill then hug each other.

Andy and Antonia arrive at Wax Poetic to have Antonia's brows waxed. Andy thinks it might turn out to be difficult since Antonia's eyebrows are an "issue" for her. Antonia is initially nervous, but then lies down and has her eyebrows be waxed. When it is done, Antonia looks much different and she really likes her new look.

Rhonda gathers the housemates and brings in Christie (who is back from having her body painted). Rhonda tells the women that the body paint was a way for Christie to express herself. Christie shows them the artwork on her arms. In the confessional, Rhonda says it is now time to see whether Christie knows how the 5k applies to her (Christie's) life. Rhonda asks Christie how it applies, and Christie says it reaffirms that she can do challenging things in her life and not "breakdown." She says she has truly learned to love and accept herself. Rhonda then brings out a gift bag for Christie. Inside the bag, Christie finds a pair of running shoes. Inside one of the shoes is a scroll; the scroll reads, "you're graduating." She shows the women and they all hug and congratulate her.

SO graduate, Kelly, arrives, and with her is Antonia's roommate from college and best friend, Danielle. Rhonda, Stan, and Iyanla arrive next. Everyone gathers and waits for Antonia to arrive for her graduation.

Antonia comes in and is very excited to see Kelly and Danielle. She hugs them and then takes a seat as Iyanla goes to the podium.

Iyanla says that Antonia brought power and energy to the starting over house. She says Antonia came into the house thinking she was a "grown-ass woman," but then realized she was mistaken. Iyanla says Antonia came to the house to clear up her debt, and then they flashback to Antonia's meeting with Robert Kiyosaki. Iyanla then says Antonia looked at an issue she didn't want to face; her issue with her father. They flashback to the exercise she and Iyanla did called "pin the dollars on the daddy." Iyanla says Antonia wasn't ready to go any further with that issue after that. In the confessional, Iyanla says that as Antonia matures she will be able to reconnect with her father and deal with those issues. Iyanla continues her speech and says that she and Antonia then moved onto practical steps Antonia needed to take to get out of debt. She says Antonia faced the mountain, which represented her debt, and they flashback to Antonia making her way up the mountain while her housemates blocked her way. Iyanla says her hope for Antonia is that she continues to allow life to bring her people and experiences that call forth her genuine nature. Iyanla and Antonia hug and Antonia cries.

Stan goes to the podium next. He says it sometimes takes him years to help a patient reveal her authentic self. He says it took one minute for Antonia. He says he realized that Antonia had not made the transition from childhood to adulthood. He says that as they unpeeled her layers they also found Antonia's "ethical self." He says Antonia has now made the transition to adult life. He hugs and congratulates Antonia.

Jodi is next to the podium. She says she is joyful for Antonia, but also sad because their journey together is ending. She says she became friends with Antonia, and they became like sisters. She says she then found herself wanting her mother Antonia and saw her as the child she never had. She tells Antonia she is proud of her and that she loves her. They hug.

Niambi goes to the podium next. She says she can't do this without crying, even though that is usually not the way she is. She tells Antonia she loves her and that at times in the house, Antonia was the only person with whom she felt safe. She says there were times when the only reason she stayed in the house was because Antonia was there. She says she doesn't want Antonia to leave, but that she deserves to graduate. She says Antonia has an innocence and a passion, and she wants to "be just like you when I grow up." She tells Antonia she will always be there for her. She is crying and tells Antonia she loves her. Antonia, who is also crying, tells Niambi that she loves her too. They hug.

Rhonda, Iyanla, and Antonia then go to the podium, and Rhonda presents Antonia with her gifts. They are giving her $1500 towards rent, and $1500 towards buying new furniture. Antonia is very excited and appreciative. Iyanla then presents Antonia with her trophy, which reads, "Antonia, Rich in Spirit-Starting Over 2006."

Antonia then goes to the podium. She says when she got to the house, her life was in shambles and she was sinking. She says Starting Over chose her and that proves that everything happens for a reason. She says to Iyanla that she can't express in words her gratitude. She tells Stan that he is "one hell of a man," and Stan says she is "one hell of a woman." She say to Rhonda that she (Rhonda) has "as much passion" as she does. She says she knows now that all three of them were only there to help her. She says to Jodi that she didn't know what to do when Jodi graduated and she thought Jodi was leaving the house. She tells Jodi they will always be in touch with each other. She tells Niambi that they share the same language, but that Niambi's "heart is weak." She says she wants to see Niambi's heart grow strong. She says she and Niambi will "grow old together." She says the house has changed her life forever. Everybody hugs and congratulates her.

Iyanla brings Antonia out by the pool to light her candle. In the confessional, Antonia says her hope for herself is that she continues to be a responsible adult and she knows the "best is yet to come."

Jill, Jodi, and Christie are in the living room talking. Jill is telling them about how her father asked her for forgiveness. In the confessional, Jill says now that she has addressed her father, she desperately needs to have a conversation with her mother.

Preview: Christie could be in for the most dramatic makeover of her life. Niambi struggles to stay positive in the house. Jill tries to heal old wounds.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Someone Is Going To Graduate

The show begins with Jennie McNulty from Curves arriving. Niambi is on the phone with Situation Man (Lucius), and tells him that she has a sprained knee and twisted right ankle. In the confessional, Niambi says she called Lucius because he gives her a lift and tends to make her feel better.

The women go outside to have a workout with Jennie. Niambi can't workout with the women because of her injuries, so she sits on the sidelines and watches. In the confessional, Christie says it is hard to be in the house with Niambi. She says Niambi doesn't like her and is not taking the 5k race seriously because she (Christie) is the one organizing it.

Later Antonia is in the kitchen telling Niambi that she has decided against bankruptcy. In the confessional, she says bankruptcy is definitely a "no-go." In the confessional, Niambi says she is being an ear for Antonia, but is not trying to guide her decision. She says Antonia has a strong personality and couldn't be guided by her anyway.

Rhonda arrives and the women meet for group. Rhonda opens the plasma and shows a definition of bankruptcy. The definition says it means "utter failure or impoverished." Antonia says that is why she hates it and would never do it. Rhonda asks the women if anyone else has been bankrupt. Christie says she has been "emotionally bankrupt." Rhonda says many women at some time in their lives have been emotionally or spiritually bankrupt. She says that women often tend to fill up the "bankrupt" feeling with meaningless things, which only makes the void deeper (like food, alcohol, etc). Rhonda says money, for example, won't make you happy, and even if you married a man with a billion dollars, you still wouldn't feel proud or satisfied if you are emotionally bankrupt.

Rhonda asks the women about their worst period of bankruptcy in their lives. Christie says it is when she went to detox. She says she had to go through the detox all by herself. Jodi says Christie is very brave to have put herself into detox. Christie says she has compassion now for the person she used to be. Antonia says she was at her worst when she was avoiding creditors by not answering her phone or opening her mail. She says she was at the point of wanting to give up. Rhonda then announces that tonight they are having a board of review. In the confessional, Niambi says she has already gotten one "C," and if she gets another she will be asked to leave. In the confessional, Christie says she thinks Niambi is doing "C" work and she is not sure she should be off probation. Group is adjourned.

Rhonda arrives at a park and meets with Christie to go over the 5k course. They walk the course together and Rhonda asks Christie who she is worried about in the house. Christie says she is worried about Niambi. Rhonda asks whether Christie can count on Niambi. Christie says she thinks Niambi will do what she has to do, but that she is resisting her (Christie). In the confessional, Rhonda says the tension between Christie and Niambi is high and she is concerned about Niambi's ability to change.

Iyanla arrives and meets with Antonia. Iyanla tells Antonia she wants to acknowledge her effort yesterday in getting up the hill because it was rough. Antonia says it was rough and that her "tears welled up," but she didn't let them fall. Iyanla asks her why not, and Antonia says because tears mean weakness. Iyanla tells her that isn't true, and that tears can wash away negative thoughts and feelings. She then tells Antonia that that there is a distinction between a goal and a vision. She says a goal is merely work without a vision to which that goal will lead. She says a goal and a vision are part of a co-creative process. In the confessional, Iyanla says she is proud of Antonia taking ownership of her debt and is ready to honor her commitments.

Later in the day, Iyanla comes to the front door and announces that she has a special guest. All the women gather and then SO graduate, Jill, comes in. Jodi rushes over to hug her and says how happy she is to see her. Iyanla says Jill has had some major developments in her life and says that Jill has been in contact with her father. Jill says the first thing he said when they met was, "I love you." She says he apologized for how everything turned out. Iyanla says Jill is having difficulties with her mom as a result of Jill contacting her dad. In the confessional, Iyanla says Jill has come back to the SO house because it is a safe environment in which to deal with these issues.

Jill and Iyanla go to speak one-on-one. Jill says she told her mom that she might go to Vegas to spend Christmas with her dad, and her mom is upset. Iyanla says Jill did not move back to Miami after she left the house, and that her mom does not like to live alone. She says Jill's mom raised Jill all alone and now Jill is going to see her dad. She asks Jill how that might make her mom feel. Jill says her mom feels abandoned. Iyanla asks if she is abandoning her mom, and Jill says no.

In the confessional, Jill says when she is at odds with her mom, she feels at odds with herself. Jill tells Iyanla that she can't appreciate her newfound relationship with her dad because of the situation with her mom. Iyanla asks Jill how this stress is showing up in her life. Jill says she hasn't been eating the cupcake, but she has eaten its second cousin, the doughnut. Iyanla laughs and tells Jill she's crazy. Then they move on and Iyanla tells Jill that she (Jill) is experiencing mind-blowing events in her life right now. In the confessional, Jill says she wants to have a relationship with both her mom and her dad.

Iyanla asks Jill how she feels about her dad having two sons who he did raise. Jill says when she went to visit her dad, she found out he lives in this big, amazing house and they showed her videos of past Christmases, etc., and she felt like, "why didn't I get this?" Iyanla asks whether her two brothers knew about her and she says they didn't. Jill says she needs answers from her father, and she can't move ahead with a relationship with him until she gets them. Iyanla tells her she has invited her father to the house. Jill looks stunned by the news.

Antonia goes over the 5k budget with Christie. In the confessional, Christie says she knew she could count on Sommer and Jodi to help her, but she is blown away by how successfully Antonia has kept them under budget.

Iyanla and Jill continue talking. Iyanla says he told Jill's father that when Jill takes one-step towards him, he should take 1 1/2 steps because Jill was not a missing daughter; he was a missing father. Iyanla tells Jill not to let this challenge in her life regulate who she is as a person. Iyanla tells her that her dad and other members of that side of the family are going to be arriving in the morning.

The women gather for the BoR; Iyanla and Rhonda arrive. Rhonda goes over the grade structure and then Iyanla calls Niambi to the podium. Niambi states her goal and Rhonda asks her what she is doing well. Niambi says she is adjusting well, listening, and is conscious of her decisions and choices. Rhonda asks what she is not doing well. Niambi says she is suspicious and paranoid. Iyanla asks about what. Niambi says she is suspicious of people's intentions and paranoid that she doesn't have what it takes to make it in the house. Iyanla asks her what grade she would give herself. Niambi says she would give herself a "B." Iyanla asks the women one thing Niambi needs to work on. Jodi says she needs to acknowledge her weaknesses and that she still has a tough exterior. Christie says she needs to be more trusting of all of them. In the confessional, Christie says she is not sure Niambi has the capacity to embrace the process.

Rhonda asks the women whether Niambi should stay or go. All of them say she should stay, but Christie hesitates before saying it. Rhonda says her philosophy in life is to assume innocence. She says Niambi has yet to master that. Iyanla says Niambi's story is heartbreaking. She says Niambi was abandoned by everyone in her life. Niambi starts crying with her face down and while covering her eyes with her hands. Rhonda tells her to look up and allow them to see her. Niambi uncovers her eyes, but can't look at them. Iyanla says it must be unbearable to stand in the depth of Niambi's heartbreak. She says she herself couldn't do it. She says the most tragic part is that Niambi has abandoned herself and she doesn't know how to call Niambi back home. Iyanla then reveals Niambi's grade; she gives her a "B." She tells Niambi she would have given her and "A" if she would have trusted herself and asked for it. She says you get what you ask for... Niambi takes her seat.

Rhonda then calls Christie to the podium. In the confessional, Christie says she has been so busy that she didn't expect to get called up today. Iyanla asks Christie what she is doing well and Christie says she is doing "everything pretty well." Iyanla asks her what she needs to work on. Christie says she needs to trust herself more. Rhonda asks her what grade she would give herself, and Christie says an "A, definitely." Iyanla says Christie has a light that is very brilliant, but that Christie can't always see it. She says Christie has a sweetness and a genuineness about her. Rhonda says Christie doesn't always see how much love there is. She says Christie came into the house punishing herself and accepting scraps of love. Rhonda says Christie is going to have a test tomorrow and if she passes, she graduates. If she fails, she won't graduate. Christie asks what the test is, but Rhonda says she will find out tomorrow. Then Rhonda gives Christie her "grade," which is a blank piece of paper.

Iyanla then calls Antonia up to the podium. Rhonda asks her what she is doing well, and Antonia says she has contacted all her creditors, etc. Iyanla asks what grade she would give herself and Antonia says she would give herself an "A" because she has done all the work. Rhonda asks the women to name one good change in Antonia. Christie says Antonia asks questions and is willing to listen. Jodi says Antonia is open to feedback and is now a "woman." Rhonda says Antonia has a passion that is electric and contagious. She says she hopes Antonia will always keep her innocence and her passion. Iyanla says she always gets the "babies" (younger housemates). She says Antonia is edgy and brassy and thought she knew all the answers, when in reality she didn't even know the question. She says she wants Antonia to take the edge off a little. Iyanla says that as long as Antonia does that she will maintain the grade she is going to give her.

Iyanla then reveals Antonia's grade, which is an "A" and has a graduation cap on top of it. Iyanla says Antonia is graduating, and Antonia starts crying, thanks Iyanla, and then goes over and hugs her and Rhonda. In the confessional, Christie says she is "thrilled" for Antonia, but she wonders what hoops she has to jump through in order to graduate. The board of review is concluded.

Antonia is very happy and goes and tells Jill that she is graduating. Jill is very excited for her. Christie, on the other hand, is upset that she is not graduating. She talks to Jodi about it, and Jodi says she feels her pain. Christie is crying and hugs Jill. In the confessional, Christie says she is frustrated and "pissed." Jill tells Christie that she will tell her what Iyanla told her: "To whom much is given, much is required."

Later in the evening, Niambi is getting ready for bed. In the confessional, Niambi says she is happy she wasn't asked to leave, but a "B" is not an "A" and there is room for improvement.

Jodi and Jill are in the bedroom talking. Jill says her mom asked her what she (her mom) was getting out of Jill meeting her father. Jill says her mother doesn't understand that this is the best thing she could do for herself. She is crying because she is sad that her mom is not supporting her. She says it is hard to feel good about it and that it breaks her heart that her mom isn't there for her. In the confessional, Jill says she is disappointed that her mom won't walk this journey with her. Jill tells Jodi that her mother should know better and she can't believe her mom doesn't know she loves her.

Preview for next week: Christie is at the end of her rope. Jill isn't prepared for what her father has to say. The women say goodbye to Antonia. Dozens of faces from the past turn up to support Christie on her big day.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Climbing The Mountain

The show begins with Antonia arriving at the dentist's office. In the confessional, she says she is afraid that the procedure to fix her tooth might hurt, and she is also concerned about the cost. The dentist, Dr. Mark Stern, tells her that he can patch the tooth, but it would only be a temporary fix. He says to permanently fix it would cost around $900. Antonia goes for the temporary patch, which winds up costing her $200.

Rhonda arrives to meet with Christie. In the confessional, Rhonda says Christie has not prepared a detailed "battle plan" for her 5k run. Rhonda tells Christie that she only has four days left before the race. She tells her she needs to make a detailed list of each person's job, etc. She then tells Christie that she uses her lack of a college education as an excuse for not knowing things. She says it is time to eliminate this belief and is going to send over a very successful woman who doesn't have a college degree who can talk to Christie. Rhonda tells Christie that she might like to ask this woman to be her mentor.

Iyanla arrives to meet with Niambi (who is still dragging around her shadow, "Sasha.") Iyanla asks Niambi about the sign she made on the day Sommer found out she was graduating, which announced that she (Niambi) too was graduating. Niambi says it was sort of a joke and she probably did it because she is concerned about having an opportunity to finish what she started in the house. Iyanla tells her that graduating is a simple process and that all she has to do is complete her steps. She says, however, taht there are things standing in the way of Niambi completing her steps. She tells Niambi to put on her sweats and meet her outside.

Christie gets the t-shirt designed for promotion of the 5k. She shows the other housemates and they all really like it.

Niambi meets Iyanla outside at the tennis court. Iyanla has set up a hurdle with signs attached that describe each of Niambi's goals. In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi believes she can solve any problem all by herself and doesn't need anyone's help. Iyanla tells Niambi to jump over the hurdle with "Sasha" still attached to her ankle. Niambi tries, but can't quite make it over the hurdle with Sasha attached. Iyanla tells Niambi that there is no harm in saying she is not ready, and there is no shame in asking for help. Niambi tries to jump the hurdle several times and finally makes it over, but Sasha has become unattached from her ankle in the process. In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi has become very familiar with Sasha now and therefore it is time to create the flip side of Niambi's shadow--the powerful, beautiful side of Niambi. Iyanla tells Niambi that Sasha is not bad; she was simply necessary.

In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi has excelled at everything in her life, but is having a difficult time opening up and taking care of herself. She says she can sense Niambi's frustration and fear, and she feels that Niambi may not be ready for the next step. Iyanla tells Niambi about her new assignment--to attach tags to the other side of her shadow with the positive aspects of her personality. She also tells her that she no longer has to drag Sasha, but can carry her around now.

Antonia returns from the dentist and tells her housemates that she got a temporary fix and can't afford a permanent one right now. Then Iyanla arrives with Edward Jamison, a consumer credit debt consultant. Iyanla has Edward speak to Antonia about bankruptcy options. Edward tells Antonia about the different kinds of bankruptcy, and suggest that bankruptcy probably won't damage her credit more more than it is already damaged. Antonia says, however, that she will not go into bankruptcy no matter what. Antonia says bankruptcy is a nightmare word for her and she is strongly against it and will not change her mind.

After meeting with the credit counselor, Iyanla and Antonia go outside and Antonia shows Iyanla the flag she created. Iyanla really likes it. In the confessional, Iyanla says Antonia has a very steep climb ahead of her if she wants to eliminate debt and it won't be easy. She tells Antonia that there will be obstacles in her way and she brings out several blank white flags. On the flags, Iyanla writes potential obstacles in Antonia's path. She writes, lazy, attitude, etc. She tells Antonia that she is going to meet her later to demonstrate how these obstacles can get in her way to the top.

Cheryl Bianchi arrives to meet with Christie. Cheryl is a woman who is very successful in charity work and she does not have a college degree. Cheryl gives Christie advice on delegating tasks and tells her that she doesn't need a college degree to be successful. She says one of the best skills she herself has is in "rallying the troops." In the confessional, Christie says she realizes now that when she goes to get a job, they won't be looking at her education as much as they will be looking at her experience. She also thinks Cheryl would be a good person to inspire her.

Iyanla gathers the women (with the exception of Antonia) and tells them she needs their help with an assignment for Antonia. She gives them each one of the flags that have an obstacle written on it, and tells them that they are to symbolize Antonia's obstacles to becoming debt-free. She tells them they are all going to be going to a hill and they are to block Antonia's attempt to climb up the hill.

All the women are now at the hill and Antonia and Iyanla are there too. Iyanla tells Antonia that Jodi is going to be her support as she tries to climb up the fairly steep hill. Jodi and Antonia start going up the hill together. Jodi is at first encouraging Antonia and telling her she can make it. Iyanla has a bullhorn and as Antonia and Jodi make their way up the hill, she calls out, "we aware of obstacles," and "watch out for snakes," etc.

Antonia and Jodi get to the first "obstacle," which is Niambi. Niambi blocks Antonia's way and Antonia has to put a lot of effort into getting around her. She finally makes her way past Niambi by going through her legs. In the confessional, Antonia says she had to be like a "bull" to get past Niambi. She says that her body is weak and she is starting to feel numb. At this point, Jodi "turns" on Antonia and starts telling her it's too hard and they should just go back down the hill and give up. Antonia rests for a second, and then continues up the hill. She gets to Christie next and starts getting angry and frustrated that she is blocking her way. Meanwhile Jodi is shouting, "give up, Antonia!!" Antonia starts crying and is sits down to rest for a minute. Then she gets back up and keeps making her way up the hill. She keeps going past Sommer and finally sees the flag at the top of the hill. In the confessional, Antonia says the flag represents freedom to her. She gets to the top and waves the flag triumphantly.

In the confessional, Iyanla says she is impressed with Antonia's determination, but is concerned with how difficult she made it on herself. Antonia tells Iyanla that she could have made it up the hill all by herself and didn't really need any support. Iyanla tells her it isn't about getting up the hill; it is about how she got up the hill. She says the issue is how Antonia handled the struggle; not the struggle itself. In the confessional, Antonia says the easy path would have been bankruptcy. She says she would rather go through the sweat, dirt, and tears of paying off her debt, however, because she will appreciate herself more if she does that.

Niambi is limping after the exercise and in the confessional Iyanla says she is concerned that Niambi isn't asking for help. Iyanla says it is a perfect example of Niambi's issues. Iyanla says she is sending Niambi to an urgent care center to be checked out. She says that is difficult for Niambi because Niambi sees being hurt as a weakness.

The women return home and Rhonda arrives for group. Rhonda talks about mentoring and asks the women what it means to have/be a mentor. Jodi says she thinks you have to have a mentor because she probably wouldn't have made it to where she is without one. Christie says a mentor is a role model and is someone she can trust to give good advice. Rhonda says a mentor is someone you respect and admire who has the knowledge that you want to have. Rhonda then brings up Christie's assignment to make a board with an itinerary and assigned tasks for the 5k. She says she wants to go over it in a little while. In the confessional, Christie says she is nervous because she hasn't done the board yet.

After group, the women go into the room where Christie has her board set up; it is blank. She gets Sommer to write on the board the tasks of each woman, and they try to finish it before Rhonda comes in to see it. Christie assigns Antonia the job of budget coordinator, and in the confessional, Antonia says she is honored that Christie believes in her to do that job.

Rhonda comes in and looks at the board. In the confessional, Rhonda says nothing much has been written on the board. She asks to see the budget, and realizes that it isn't complete. Rhonda seems displeased and tells Christie that she asked her to complete these tasks three days ago. Christie says she got confused and didn't understand what she was supposed to do. Rhonda says she went over it with Christie and she doesn't believe that Christie was confused. Christie insists that she was confused.

Rhonda then tells all the women that from now on the 5k is a group effort and if one of them drops the ball, the whole project fails. Rhonda tells them to get everything together because tonight is the night to solidify plans for the race. In the confessional, Sommer says she believe there will be tension in the house in the coming days as they rush to get this project done.

Afterwards, Antonia calls one of her creditors and gets transferred around and has to wait to speak with someone. In the confessional, Antonia says if it takes sitting on the phone for hours, she will do it in order to clear up her debt. She says she is going to get it done one day at a time.

Niambi arrives back from the urgent care center. In the confessional, she says the doctor told her to keep both ankles elevated. She says they are both sprained. She says today was an exhausting day and she needs some down time.

Christie and Sommer are working on the plans for the 5k and Christie says she isn't going to ask Niambi for help tonight. In the confessional, Christie says it's obvious that Niambi is in no mood to help. In the confessional, Niambi says she is exhausted, tired, and frustrated. She says she is not as close to completing her goal as she thought and she has a lot of work ahead of her.

Preview: Niambi wonders if she'll make it to the end of the day (Rhonda announces a BoR). And Niambi's fate could be in Christie's hands. An SO graduate (Jill) returns to face a huge obstacle.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Niambi and Her Shadow

The show begins with Antonia searching the house for her eyeglasses. She looks around and gets Jodi to help her. When she can't find the glasses she says a prayer to Saint Anthony, the patron saint of lost things. A moment later, she finds her glasses under the bed. She tells Jodi that Saint Anthony always helps her.

In the confessional, Christie says she feels like she is out of her mind with stress over the 5k run. She says her housemates are stressing her out even more. In the confessional, Jodi says she is trying not to take over for Christie, but that a lot needs to be done in a short period of time.

Sommer calls her mom, Dyanne, and tells her she graduated last night. Her mom is very excited for her. Meanwhile, Antonia is in the kitchen trying to eat and avoid chewing on the side with the broken tooth. In the confessional, Antonia says she can't pay for a dentist unless it is under $200.

Iyanla arrives to meet with Niambi. In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi's goal is to Run Toward Life, but Niambi has a "darkness" looming over her that is keeping her from achieving that goal. Iyanla asks Niambi to name the four most dominant relationships in her life. Niambi names two: Situation Man (AKA Lucius) and her mom. Iyanla says Niambi has to relationships which are dishonest, critical, and inauthentic. She says when a relationship is inauthentic, the pain of it lingers inside.

Iyanla asks Niambi to describe how she feels inside. Niambi says she feels empty and like there is a void. Iyanla asks her the color of the "void" inside, and Niambi says it is black. Iyanla asks her to go inside the void describe how it feels inside of that blackness. Niambi says "Where am I? Where is the light switch?" She says it feels like God has forgotten about her. Iyanla tells Niambi that the place inside is not a place at all, but a person. She says it is a part of Niambi. In the confessional, Iyanla says everybody has a shadow self. She says it is our dark side and the place we put everything we suppress and cover-up. She says whatever we give to the shadow always winds up showing up in our everyday life.

Iyanla has Niambi stand in front of a large foam board. Iyanla then traces Niambi's outline on the foam, and has Niambi cut out the figure. In the confessional, Iyanla says that now Niambi understands she has a shadow, and that it is important for her to have recognized it.

Iyanla takes the large foam cutout of Niambi and places it over Niambi as Niambi is sitting on the couch. Iyanla tells Niambi she has seen her shadow side come out sometimes, and mentions that she saw it when Niambi was at the restaurant arguing with Christie. Iyanla asks her to name the characteristics of her own shadow. Niambi says her shadow is venomous, defensive, intolerant, etc. As Niambi names these characteristics, Iyanla writes them on cards and pins them to Niambi's foam shadow. Iyanla tells Niambi that her shadow protected her and took blows for her that she herself couldn't take. She says that when Niambi's shadow needed her, however, she wasn't there for her. Iyanla tells Niambi to spend some time with her shadow and come up with some more characteristics of it. In the confessional, Niambi says the biggest thing she wants to work on in the house is her "dark side."

Antonia calls one of her creditors to see if they will negotiate a settlement. In the confessional, Antonia says her tooth is broken and her head hurts, and yet she still has to call these creditors.

Niambi has written more characteristics of her shadow and pinned them to it. Iyanla comes back and goes over them. Niambi has written things like "Go to hell," and "I don't need this sh*t." Niambi says it is scary to see that these things are inside her and asks Iyanla if she has to be burdened with these things for the rest of her life. Iyanla says she just needs to acknowledge that these things exist. Iyanla then tells Niambi that each characteristic has a behavior attached to it. She says the first step is to call "her" (the shadow) up and truly acknowledge her. Then Iyanla ties Niambi's shadow to her ankle and tells her she will have to drag the shadow around (dragging it across the floor behind her). She tells Niambi that when Niambi eats, her shadow eats, etc. Niambi says the shadow is going to get messed up and all dirty, but Iyanla says her shadow is already that way. In the confessional, Iyanla says Niambi is quickly going to make an intense connection with her dark side. She says that Niambi can then stare down her issues and move forward.

The women gather for group and Dr. Stan arrives. In the confessional, Stan says the women don't understand the significance of the 5k run. He says it has a larger purpose. He tells the women that he wants to talk about the race and find out why they believe they are participating in the planning of it. Jodi says she needs compassion for Christie because Christie has never done this kind of thing before. Jodi says she has been a project leader, and she needs to have compassion for Christie because this is her first time having that kind of responsibility.

Niambi says Christie is leaning on Jodi and Sommer mostly, and she hasn't been asked to participate very much in the planning. She says she would if asked. Christie asks her whether she is going to run in the 5k. Niambi says she isn't going to run, but is only going to walk the 5k (ED Niambi seems annoyed). In the confessional, Niambi says the women have unrealistic expectations about her performance in the 5k. She says she is no longer a "performance runner." Stan tells Niambi that Christie was only asking whether she (Niambi) was going to participate in the 5k, but that Niambi's reaction was strong and indicated that Niambi thought it was personal. Christie says that that's all she was asking--whether or not Niambi would be participating. Christie says to her, Niambi's participation is support.

Stan then tells the women that the 5k is about more than supporting Christie. He says the run is about running for women who do not have the resources to start over and change their lives. He says they are putting on this run for women who can't run. In the confessional, Sommer says Stan brought home what they are all doing with this race. She says it is a way to help many women. Stan tells the women that the premise of the run is to help women change their lives, and then group is adjourned.

Iyanla meets with Antonia and asks her how she is doing. Antonia says her tooth is broken, her sinuses are bothering her, and she has a pimple. Iyanla asks her whether she has made any progress in her financial issues. Antonia says she has called everybody and written down the amounts she owes, etc. Iyanla tells Antonia she is concerned about her. She says when she looks at Antonia she sees a gorgeous, powerful, talented woman... Then Antonia opens her mouth and reveals that she is behaving like a 14 year old girl. Antonia starts laughing. Iyanla says Antonia whines and creates drama. She says she is concerned Antonia doesn't have the self-respect and honor to sustain herself. She asks Antonia what she has learned and what will stop her from repeating her behavior and getting right back into debt. Antonia asks, "Are you serious?" She tells Iyanla that she never wants to be in debt again. She says all her time and effort would have been wasted if she went back into debt after leaving the house.

Iyanla asks Antonia what is "anchored in your soul" that will keep her from doing that. Antonia says it is her willingness not to get back into debt. Iyanla says Antonia needs a "battle cry" and a symbol of victorious behavior. Iyanla brings out a blank red flag and tells Antonia she wants her to create a symbol on the flag. In the confessional, Iyanla says the symbol will help Antonia remember "what she is fighting for," and will help her persevere through difficult times.

Jodi calls a MAC make-up representative and asks if she would like to donate goody-bags to the 5k. The woman sounds interested and says she will call Jodi back.

Antonia goes to Big Lots and shops for things she needs to create her symbol on the flag.

Niambi drags her shadow around the house. In the confessional, Niambi says her shadow is named "Sasha," and that this alter ego is combative and aggressive. Niambi tells Jodi that she has to drag "Sasha" all around the house. Iyanla arrives and says she has brought additional tags that Niambi can put on Sasha if she thinks of other characteristics she would like to add to the shadow. Niambi asks Iyanla whether she can just jump on her shadow and "beat her up." Iyanla says her shadow has taken blows for her for a long time, and Niambi shouldn't beat her up. Jodi then tells Niambi the story about her mask. She says that when she tried to break her mask with anger, the mask wouldn't break. She says Iyanla told her to do it in a loving manner, and she says the mask broke right apart really easily. Jodi tells Niambi that her mask got her to the house and protected her. She tells Niambi that like her mask, however, Niambi doesn't need her shadow anymore.

Atnonia finishes shopping and in the confessional she says she is acting responsibly now. She says she feels like anything is possible since entering the SO house.

Dr. Stan and Christie meet to talk about the 5k. Stan says Christie has been looking worried. Christie says she was very stressed out, but is calming down a little today. She says she feels a lot of pressure. Stan asks her what she usually does when she is under pressure. Christie says in the past she has freaked out, and then shut down and used food/drugs/alcohol to "numb out." Stan says she "numbed out" because it was easier than doing the work. Christie says she is doing the work now, but still feels a sense of "dread" about the run. Stan tells her to do what she can do, and that she can't do it all in such a short time. He tells her to prioritize. He also tells her not to afraid to ask for help.

Antonia asks Jodi to go with her to look at an apartment she is interested in renting. They arrive at the apartment complex and meet with the property manager, Rene. He shows them the apartment, and Antonia really likes it. Jodi thinks it's a very cute apartment too. Antonia tells Rene she doesn't have good credit, and he says they may ask for a larger deposit from her if she wants the apartment.

Dr. Stan and Niambi meet. Stan talks with her about her shadow. Niambi says that she wants to eradicate some aspects of her shadow, but she wants to soften the edges and not completely erase other aspects. Stan agrees that some characteristics just need to be softened and used in a healthy way. Stan then asks Niambi about Situation Man (Lucius). Niambi says she has been speaking to him. In the confessional, Niambi says things have changed with Lucius. She says he is no longer involved with the other woman, and has declared his feelings for her. Niambi tells Stan she wants a friendship with Lucius and then later decides whether to pursue something more. Stan asks her if this "friendship" includes sexual relations. Niambi says "this is 2006, Stan." Stan says she can do whatever she wants, but suggests that a friendship with sex included is what she has had with Lucius all along.

Antonia and Jodi return from looking at the apartment. In the confessional, Antonia says she will find out in 24-48 hours whether she has gotten the apartment. She says she is nervous about it. She tells Christie about the apartment, and Christie tells her that it was a very "big girl" thing to do. Antonia says it was a "grown-ass woman" thing to do.

Stan and Niambi continue their discussion. Stan says just because Niambi calls the "situation" between her and Lucius something different, it doesn't change the dynamic of the relationship. He says she is calling it something different, but acting the same. Niambi says she has issues with trusting Lucius. Stan says calling her relationship with Lucius a "friendship" will not keep her from getting hurt. He says Lucius is either going to be what she wants, or he isn't. In the confessional, Stan says Niambi is desperate to have this relationship with Lucius, and she will tell herself anything to continue with it. He says that is potentially dangerous. He tells Niambi that a relationship is destructive if it holds you back and tells her to think about her situation with Lucius for a while.

Antonia works on her flag. In the confessional, she says she has a lot going on today. She says before she would have just called it quits, and she is proud of herself for being responsible and doing all she needs to get done.

In the confessional, Niambi says Lucius knows "Sasha" (her shadow) better than he knows Niambi. She says she wants Lucius to know all the parts of her. She says her relationship with Lucius has not been a healthy one.

Preview: Antonia’s will is tested. Christie's 5k run could be on the verge of falling apart. And the women must step up to the plate.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Sommer Graduates

The show begins with Sommer receiving a phone call from Rhonda. Rhonda tells her that she wants her to gather the pieces of her bicycle and meet her at the park. In the confessional, Sommer says she is very excited and thinks she will be earning the rest of the parts of her bike today.

Iyanla arrives to meet with Antonia. In the confessional, Iyanla says Antonia is "knee-deep" in debt and she thinks it is time to get to the core of Antonia's issue. Iyanla has set up a board with Antonia's creditors listed. She tells Antonia to get together how much she owes each company and says that they may settle the accounts for less money than she owes if she calls and negotiates with them. Her assignment is to list how much she owes each creditor and then call them. Then Iyanla tells Antonia that she understands her (Antonia's) un-readiness to deal with her father issues. She says, however, that an opportunity has come up that would be of benefit to Antonia. SO graduate Jennifer is in town, and she has similar father issues. Jennifer's dad is also in prison and she wants Antonia to go have coffee with her today. In the confessional, Iyanla says Jennifer has things to say that Antonia needs to hear.

Sommer arrives at the park and meets with Rhonda. Rhonda tells her she has earned all six pieces of her bicycle and congratulates her. Sommer puts the bike together and Rhonda asks her if she ever believed she could do it. Sommer says she hoped she could, but didn't have complete faith. Then Rhonda tells her to close her eyes. When Rhonda tells her to open her eyes, there is a bike covered with a blanket. Rhonda takes off the blanket, and on the bike is a sign that reads, "Congratulations Sommer, you're graduating!!!" Sommer is very excited and she and Rhonda hug. In the confessional, Sommer says she has worked very hard and feels joy, but also sadness about the person she used to be. Rhonda then tells Sommer that she will be graduating tonight and then asks her if she would like to stay at the house after she graduates to help Christie with her upcoming 5k run. Sommer says she would like to stay and help.

Sommer returns to the house wearing the graduation sign backwards. She asks Niambi to turn the sign around. Niambi does so, reads the sign, and sees that Sommer is graduating. Antonia also sees it and the two women congratulate Sommer and are very excited for her.

Rhonda arrives and the women meet for group. Niambi has made her own "graduation" sign and is wearing it around her neck (It reads, "Niambi, you're graduating.") In the confessional, Rhonda says Niambi has to realize that graduation is about a lot of hard work. She says it took Sommer two years to graduate.

Sommer sits next to Rhonda and Rhonda talks about the humility and courage it took for Sommer to come back to the house after being asked to leave. Then Rhonda opens the plasma and reveals Sommer's completed steps. Sommer says she is very proud and she can't believe she is graduating. Rhonda says that Sommer has never had a makeover in the house, and then she brings in Andy Paige to take Sommer out for her graduation makeover. Andy comes in and tells Sommer she is thrilled for her. Andy and Sommer leave and group is adjourned.

Jodi and Christie go have a workout at Curves. In the confessional, Christie says she has a lot to do in regard to the 5k run, and she is feeling overwhelmed. She also says she has to see this as part of life; sometimes things get tough and she has to deal with that.

Sommer and Andy arrive at a clothing store called Billy's. Sommer tries on many different outfits, and finally finds the perfect one for tonight's graduation.

Antonia arrives at a restaurant called Marie Callender's and meets with SO graduate, Jennifer. She and Jennifer get a table and Jennifer tells her that her dad is in prison as well. In the confessional, Antonia says she feels immediately defensive and she doesn't want to talk about her dad to "strangers." Jennifer tells Antonia that her dad has a life sentence. Antonia says her dad isn't in prison for life, but she doesn't know how long he will be in prison. Jennifer tells her she had no intention of having a relationship with her dad, but Iyanla and Dr. Stan helped her to see that it would benefit her. Antonia says she does not want to have a relationship with her father, and she is not going to go visit him.

Jennifer asks Antonia whether she can see that her dad is human and that he made a mistake. Antonia says she can see that he is human, but she will not have a relationship with him. Jennifer asks Antonia whether she would want a relationship with her dad if she didn't have her mom in her life. Antonia says she doesn't even want to talk about that possibility. Jennifer says that Antonia's dad must feel very hurt not to know where Antonia is, or how she is doing in her life. Antonia says that is his problem. Then Antonia takes a bite of her food, and a piece of her tooth breaks off. She takes the piece of tooth out of her mouth and says she has to leave now and go call her mom. She says she has no dental insurance. She and Jennifer leave.

Sommer and Andy arrive at Blue Velvet Salon to get Sommer a new hairstyle. Sommer says she is excited about her new look and hopes her housemates like it, but what is really important is that she herself likes it.

IYanla arrives and meets with Antonia. Antonia shows Iyanla where her tooth broke. Then she and Iyanla go sit down to talk about the progress Antonia has made with her assignment. Antonia has not filled out the board with how much she owes her creditors. In the confessional, Iyanla says she knows Antonia is distracted by her tooth breaking, but not doing the assignment is unacceptable. Iyanla asks Antonia when her tooth broke, and Antonia tells her it was during lunch when she was talking to Jennifer about her dad. Iyanla thinks it is interesting that her tooth broke at that particular time. Antonia says she is going to call her mom to help her pay for to go to the dentist. Iyanla tells Antonia that she is a "grown ass woman" and that she needs to learn to handle things herself. Iyanla then asks her about her discussion with Jennifer. Antonia says she didn't want to talk about some of the things Jennifer brought up (about if her mom wasn't in the picture). In the confessional, Iyanla says Antonia worships her mom, who raised Antonia all by herself. She says that Antonia feels that even the thought of having a relationship with her father would be a betrayal to her mother. Iyanla tells Antonia she will help her find a dentist tomorrow.

Staring Over graduates Jennifer and Renee arrive for Sommer's graduation. In the confessional, Renee says she is doing well and is still attending the Art Institute of Phoenix. She says she and her father have remained close since her time at the house and she is very thankful to SO for bringing her and her father together.

Dr. Stan, Rhonda, and Iyanla arrive and greet Renee and Jennifer. In the confessional, Jennifer says she is engaged now, and her relationship with her dad and her sister continue to grow.

Andy applies Sommer's make-up and everybody gathers to wait for Sommer's entrance. In the confessional, Sommer says she knows now that she can choose to feel fear, but not let it rule her. She says she still feel insecure at times, but she can choose not to accept those feelings and continue on.

Sommer enters the room and everybody stands and claps for her. She is wearing a nice dress and has a new, shorter haircut that fits her face. Everybody takes a seat and Rhonda goes to the podium to begin the ceremony.

Rhonda says Sommer's original goal upon entering the SO house for the first time was to Lose Weight and Gain Self. They flashback to Sommer arriving at the house and telling her story for the first time. Rhonda says when Sommer entered the house she was a beautiful woman who had no idea who she was. She says Sommer's sense of self was a victim of every extra pound. They flashback to a wheelbarrow exercise Sommer did the first time she was in the house. Rhonda then says that Sommer faced her food issues and had started exercising, but then got distracted. She says Sommer desperately wanted attention and was interacting with the production crew. She says her brave housemates came forward and told her what Sommer was doing. Rhonda says she and Iyanla had to make a difficult decision to ask Sommer to leave the house. They flashback to the board of review when Sommer was asked to leave.

Rhonda says that when Sommer came back she had to apologize to everyone; even people she didn't know. They flashback to Sommer's second arrival at the house. Rhonda says after talking with Sommer she realized that Sommer was ready to achieve her goal this time. Rhonda talks about Sommer's exercise of putting the bicycle together and they flashback to it. Rhonda says Sommer is a different person this time around. She says she danced and opened up to her housemates. Rhonda then congratulates Sommer and they hug.

Stan goes to the podium next. He tells her he was very sad when she was asked to leave the house, but it turned out to be the best thing for her. He says she has now had a transformation and he is proud to have been a part of it. He says she not only looks like a different person, but she is a different person. He congratulates her and they hug.

Renee is next to the podium. She says she was blessed to have Sommer as her roommate when she was in the house. She says she could confide in Sommer, when she even though she was having trouble opening up to others. She says after Sommer was asked to leave the house, she came and visited her, and they watched Renee's graduation together and cried. She says Sommer had an emptiness in her eyes then because she didn't get to graduate. Renee says when Sommer told her she was going to go back to the SO house and try again, she was initially hesitant, but supported Sommer's brave decision and she is happy she did. She says her hope for Sommer is that she continues to dream big. Renee is crying and she and Sommer hug.

Jennifer goes to the podium next. She says she was also hesitant when Sommer told her she was going back into the house. She says she knows now, however, that it's the best decision Sommer ever made. She and Sommer hug each other.

Iyanla then goes up and presents Sommer with her graduation gifts. Iyanla announces that Sommer is getting a shopping spree in New York City with Andy Paige. They are also giving her a series of hip-hop dance lessons and the bicycle she put together. Then Sommer is presented with her SO trophy.

Sommer is at the podium and first addresses Stan, Rhonda, and Iyanla. She says they all embraced her and she realizes now that the first time she was in the house she "threw their love" back in their face. She says Iyanla talks in "spiritually flowery" language, and Sommer didn't "get it." She says, however, that it was Iyanla's words that echoed in her mind after she left the house. She says Stan called her after she left the house, and it meant so much to her. She tells Rhonda that she knows Rhonda made it possible for her to come back to the house. She says it means so much to her that Rhonda did that for her because she had felt very abandoned. She says to Jennifer and Renee that they also helped her get back to the house (by supporting her). She then thanks her housemates for their willingness to forgive her and let her back into the house.

Everyone hugs Sommer and then Rhonda brings Sommer out by the pool to light a candle. Sommer lights her candle, and in the confessional she says she has started over and finally closed a chapter in her life. She says it is exciting that she now gets to open a new chapter.

Preview: Antonia gets a wake-up call. The clock is ticking down to Christie's big day. Niambi tries to overcome a growing problem.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Sommer's Dance-Off and Jill Visits

The show begins with Sommer about her upcoming dance performance with Christie. She says she is freaked out about it and is afraid because she only has eight hours until she has to perform. In the confessional, Jodi says she woke up feeling exhausted. She says it is a surreal experience being in the house after she has graduated, and a part of her wishes she was on a plane going home.

Iyanla arrives to meet with Antonia to help her make a budget. Iyanla has Antonia write on cards her "wants" and her "needs." She then puts them into two categories on a board. After Antonia is finished, Iyanla tells her to come up with a budget starting with her needs. Antonia has a monthly income of $1600, so the budget cannot exceed that amount.

Niambi is in the confessional talking about Situation Man. She says he responded to her email, but he didn't really answer the questions she asked him. She says she has strong feelings for him, but she finds the situation scary because she thinks he is saying what she wants to hear.

Rhonda arrives to meet with Sommer. Rhonda tells her that Shane Sparks is going to come over to the house today to help her practice her dance one more time. Then she tells Sommer that the dance isn't only going to be a performance, it's also going to be a "dance-off." Sommer starts crying and says she feels stressed and frustrated. In the confessional, Rhonda says today is a "make it or break it" day for Sommer. She says the last time Sommer was in the house she was absolutely obsessed with how other people perceived her.

Sommer tells Rhonda she can only do what she can do. Rhonda tells her she is intellectualizing, and what she is really doing is trying to minimize her own pain. Sommer says if she doesn't do that, she fears she won't be able to get through the performance. Rhonda tells her she will get through the performance, and she has to trust herself. Rhonda then tells Sommer she is sending her shopping today to get clothes for the dance-off. In the confessional, Rhonda says she understands Sommer's nervousness because Sommer still sees herself as an "overweight little girl" and feels that the world is staring at her and laughing. She says she hopes this experience is transformational for Sommer and does not lead to a setback.

Iyanla meets with Niambi. In the confessional, Iyanla says she has asked Niambi to fill out a questionnaire which will help her identify behavioral patterns in her family. Niambi says one pattern is that there is a lot of divorce in her family. She says there are also multiple marriages. She says she has no use for the "institution of marriage." Iyanla asks her to define "relationships" and Niambi says she sees them as consisting of open communication, trust and sharing. Iyanla asks Niambi what she has with Situation Man, and Niambi says she has "a real mess." Niambi then shows Iyanla the email Situation Man wrote to her. Iyanla reads parts of it aloud. Situation Man wrote that he "like the sound" of what Niambi had written to him (about loving him outloud), and he thanked her for her honesty. In the letter, he also said he has tried to avoid her love, but is now open to it.

Niambi tells Iyanla she thinks this relationship has the potential to bring her a lot of pain. Iyanla says that the harder a person loves, the deeper the pain. Niambi says she is "frozen with fear" about getting hurt. Iyanla says it is not Situation Man who is causing her fear, but her beliefs. She tells Niambi she is sending someone over to help Niambi see her familial patterns and to help her get clear.

Christie makes a call to a company that is going to donate medals for the 5k run. In the confessional, she says she is not surprised that people are donating because it is such a great cause.

Shane Sparks, the dance instructor, arrives to meet with Sommer. He and Sommer go outside and practice her dance moves.

Melvin Allen arrives to meet with Niambi. He has a board set up and has Niambi write down the characteristics of her mom and dad in order to identify her family patterns. Niambi says her mom is independent, resilient, defensive, and has a closed heart. She says her mom is not very affectionate, especially towards men. Niambi says this exercise is helping her to visualize clearly her family history and her patterns of behavior. She says to Melvin that she is turning into her mom.

Iyanla meets with Antonia to go over the budget Antonia has created. Antonia has written down the cost of each of her needs and as they add them all up, she realizes that they total over $1700, which is more than her income. She and Iyanla go over things they can subtract from the needs list (like wardrobe expenses).

Jodi is on the phone with SO graduate, Jill. In the confessional, Jill says she is going to come back to the house because she has some special news to share with Iyanla. She says she first wants to share it with Jodi. She tells Jodi that she is going to meet with her father. She says it is a real blessing that she gets this opportunity. She also tells Jodi that she has talked to one of her brothers (she has not met him yet). Jodi asks her what her mom feels about her meeting with her father, and Jill says she hasn't told her yet. She says she is nervous about how her mom will react. Jodi tells Jill she thinks she is courageous and she is proud of her.

Sommer goes shopping at GrooveRiders, for clothes for her dance-off. She looks around and the store clerks help her pick out clothes. She tries on several outfits, but she can't find one she likes. She starts crying and calls Rhonda. She tells Rhonda that she can't find anything and it is ruining the whole day.

Iyanla and Antonia continue going over Antonia's budget. Iyanla suggests that Antonia get a roommate to help her pay expenses, but Antonia is completely opposed to it. Antonia says she would rather work two jobs.

Sommer is still at the clothing store and is on the phone talking to Rhonda. In the confessional, Sommer says Rhonda tells her it's a good thing that she is feeling her feelings and not stuffing them down.

Niambi and Melvin Allen continue their meeting. They go over her father's characteristics and behaviors next. Niambi says her father has had multiple marriages, is a womanizer, and emotionally abandoned her. Melvin says it's important to identify the emotional abandonment issue because Niambi is at risk of getting into a relationship with a man who will not be emotionally available to her (like her father).

Antonia arrives at the Ethan Allen store and meets with Janet Flisik. Janet tells Antonia that she is going to treat her just like one of her designers today. They go over a client's room design and Janet asks Antonia for input. In the confessional, Antonia says she is not equipped to be a designer and she hates the whole thing. She says she would rather hire someone to do this for her. Nonetheless, Antonia picks out fabrics and furniture for the client's new room design. In the confessional, Antonia says when she has to do something she doesn't want to do, she tries to make it fun and worthwhile anyway. In the confessional, Janet says Antonia did well in choosing a design for the client's room. She says she believes Antonia has a passion for design and came up with some great solutions.

Sommer is back at the house and is getting ready for her dance-off. In the confessional, she says tonight is big for her because of her trust and body issues. Jill arrives at the house and in the confessional, she says she is back to share her news with Iyanla.

Iyanla and Jill meet and Jill tells her she is going to meet with her father. Jill says she had a fantasy about how she would meet her father; she would be in her dressing room and he would walk in, etc. She says she has now realized that this fantasy was perhaps "false pride." Iyanla tells Jill that she is the gift (to her father), and she doesn't need to be successful or have gifts for him. She tells Jill she is not meeting him for acceptance or approval, but for love. Iyanla then asks Jill whether she has told her mom. Jill says the situation with her mom is "not good." In the confessional, Iyanla says the parent who raised a child all by herself may feel very threatened when the absent parent shows up. Jill says her mom hasn't verbalized her displeasure, but there is an energy there that Jill is betraying her mom by meeting with the father after all he did to her mom. Iyanla says there is never a case in which one person did all the bad things in a relationship; both people are always involved. Iyanla also says that Jill wants to meet and know her father, and it is as simple as that. Then Iyanla gives Jill a bracelet. In the confessional, Jill says after she watches Sommer's dance-off, she is going to go meet her dad, and she doesn't know what is going to happen.

Niambi has a short phone conversation with Situation Man. They joke with each other a little bit, and then he tells her to tell Sommer good luck at her dance competition.

Sommer arrives at Burbank Bar and Grill, where she will be competing in the dance-off. Shane Sparks is already there waiting for her and they go over her dance steps one last time. He tells her that her song will be the 11th song (10 other dance competitors will go before her). The housemates arrive as does Rhonda and Jill. In the confessional, Rhonda says the last time Sommer was at the house, she couldn't physically express herself at all. She hopes Sommer will be able to get over her body issues.

Shane is the MC for the dance competition. He announces each dancer and they go on stage and do a short performance. In the confessional, Sommer says she is freaking out and is not excited about dancing, but is instead scared. She says she just wants to get through it. Shane then introduces Sommer and she comes on stage and starts dancing (ED She is quite good and seems relaxed). In the confessional, Christie says she was very impressed with Sommer's dancing and didn't know she could move that way. In the confessional, Jodi says Sommer's dancing was awesome and very "high-energy." She says it was a pleasure to watch.

After the competition, Shane announces that Sommer is the "hottest dancer in America tonight." (ED I'm assuming she won the competition). In the confessional, Sommer says she had fun with the dance and she is very relieved it is over. She says she is trusting in herself and embracing being herself.

Preview: Christie begins to really feel the heat. Sommer gets a big surprise. Antonia gets a visit she wasn't ready for.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Jodi Graduates

The show begins with Jodi and Christie talking about Niambi and what happened at Jodi's graduation dinner last night. In the confessional, Jodi says it is a "bummer" that that there was so much tension at the dinner, but she says she is not going to let anyone take away her excitement about graduating today. In the confessional, Christie says Niambi's problems are not with her (Christie), but with herself. She says she is going to stand in her truth.

The women gather and Iyanla arrives for group. Iyanla asks Jodi to name her best change while in the house. Jodi says it is giving up control. She says giving it up gave her a sense of peace and a calmness that she loves. Antonia starts crying and Iyanla asks her what is wrong. Antonia holds Jodi's hand and tells her she doesn't want her to leave. Iyanla reminds her that Jodi will be staying on as a mentor, but Antonia says she never wants Jodi to leave. She says she loves Jodi. Jodi says she loves her too. Antonia says she has never seen any control issues with Jodi and that Jodi has always been good to her. Iyanla says that being in the house can awaken a depth of love that we may not have known existed.

Iyanla opens the plasma and shows Jodi's old self-portrait, which looks like a big sun with a frowning face. Jodi says she used to be on a "sunny" outside, but on the inside she was sad and lonely. Iyanla then shows Jodi's new self-portrait. In this one, Jodi has drawn herself surrounded by hearts. Sommer says it looks like Jodi has all she needs. Niambi says Jodi looks to be surrounded by grace and beauty. Iyanla says Jodi is connected to the things she loves. Iyanla tells Jodi that Andy Paige will be at the house later to take Jodi for her graduation makeover.

Iyanla then asks Niambi and Christie how things are going between them. In the confessional, Iyanla says that in order to support them, she is going to intervene in their dispute. Iyanla tells the two women that she is going to meet with them both to help settle things. Niambi says she is happy to hear that. In the confessional, Niambi says she hasn't spoken to Christie since last night, and she has some "choice words" for her. Group is adjourned.

Jodi leaves to meet Andy Paige. Farah arrives to meet with Antonia. In the confessional, Iyanla says it is very important for Antonia to step up and take her assignment seriously. Antonia and Farah go over the guest room floor plan together. In the confessional, Antonia says she is tired, but is going to stick it out. She says in the past she has given up when things got difficult, but she is going to finish this assignment.

Iyanla, Christie, and Niambi meet. In the confessional, Iyanla says she is going to support them in expressing their anger in a safe way. Iyanla tells them both to take this opportunity to clear up any difficulties between them. Niambi says she will start. She says she was tense at the dinner last night. She says what sent her over the edge was when Christie asked someone (I didn't hear who) to hold her hand and give her support when Jodi found out she was graduating. Niambi says that incident was just another example of how everyone has to "fall all over" themselves to support Christie. Niambi says Christie takes everything from everybody. She says nobody can drink because they all have to support Christie. She says "enough is enough."

Niambi continues and says what she felt from Christie from the moment she walked through the door is judgment. She says Christie judged her and said she wasn't supportive enough and not "present." Niambi says she thought everybody had to follow the rules of the house, but Christie seems to follow a different set of rules. In the confessional, Niambi says Christie doesn't practice what she preaches. In the confessional, Christie says she thinks she represents the "typical white woman" who has oppressed Niambi. Iyanla asks Christie to share her thoughts. Christie says she has a great deal of compassion for Niambi and that she "looks up to her." She says that she was trying to support Niambi, but Niambi told her that when she needed support, she would ask for it. Christie says she gave up after that. She says she didn't want to be perceived as a "bitch," and so she didn't want to call Niambi out anymore. Christie says she started "walking on eggshells" around Niambi. She says Niambi can be nice and loving and then turn angry in a flash.

Niambi says Christie is not new in the house and thinks she should set a better example. She says Christie should have showed her what support looked like. Christie says she doesn't know how to approach Niambi without looking like a "bitch."

Jodi meets Andy Paige at a clothing store. She tries on outfits and Andy helps her find a good one for her body type. In th confessional, Jodi says the outfit she chose is cute and different. She says she is mostly just happy to be spending time with Andy today.

An Ethan Allen delivery truck arrives and they deliver the furniture for the guest room. In the confessional, Antonia says the room is looking the way she had envisioned it and she is proud of herself.

Jodi and Andy are now arriving at a hair salon for Jodi's hair makeover. Andy says she wants Jodi to have a straight look with some curl to give her a modern appearance.

Iyanla continues talking with Niambi and Christie. She thanks them both for their honesty. She tells Christie that the reason she is having difficulties with Niambi is because Niambi represents who Christie used to be and she also represents a part of Christie that Christie has yet to embrace about herself. Christie agrees and asks Iyanla what she should do to embrace that side of herself. Iyanla says she has to stop judging it. Iyanla tells Niambi that Christie triggers her feelings about her (Niambi's) mother. She tells Niambi that she has to "clean up" her stuff. She says it is great that the two women trigger each other so much because it means they have a great opportunity to heal. Niambi and Christie are both crying and Christie hugs Niambi and tells her she loves her. Niambi tells her that she reminds her of things she needs to work on within herself. In the confessional, Niambi says she is going to do the best she can and she knows there are not shortcuts. She says the issue with Christie makes her realize she is still struggling with feeling worthy.

Jodi and Andy Paige arrive back at the house from the makeover. Then Rhonda, Iyanla, and Dr. Stan arrive for the graduation. Everyone gathers and waits for Jodi to make her entrance. Jodi comes in and the women clap for her. She has a very pretty new hairstyle and is wearing a flattering outfit. Jodi takes her seat and Iyanla goes to the podium. Iyanla says it wouldn't be a graduation without special guests. She then brings in SO graduates, Kelly and Jill. Then Jodi's mom, Karen, enters.

Iyanla begins the ceremony by saying that it was an honor to see Jodi's transformation. She says to see Jodi in "full flower" is a joy and she is honored to have participated in the unfolding. Then they do a flashback to Jodi's first day in the house when she told her story. Iyanla says that like so many of use, Jodi had lost her vision. They flashback to the first mirror exercise Jodi did. Iyanla says Jodi was in deep denial and needed a reality check. They flashback to the board of review when Jodi got a "C." Iyanla says that BoR was shocking for Jodi because in the past Jodi's efforts had always led to external successes. She says, however, that Jodi didn't need external success; she needed to go inside and discover herself.

Iyanla says Jodi then needed to take her mom off the pedestal and get her dad out of the mud. They flashback to an exercise Jodi did regarding that issue in her life. Iyanla says it took a while for Jodi to allow herself to feel, and she first began that process with the mask exercise. They flashback to Jodi painting the mask and her housemates evaluating it. Iyanla says Jodi was pretending to be happy and was in reality trying to control everyone around her. Iyanla says then it was time to let the mask go and they flashback to when Jodi threw her mask off the balcony. Then they flashback to the second mirror exercise Jodi did after she initially threw away her mask.

Iyanla says not to ever think you're done. She says when you're done, you're dead, and she says there are many ways to die. She says you can die to your dreams and to your vision. She says Jodi was "dead" to those things because she was not humble enough to receive them. Iyanla says her hope for Jodi is that she allows herself to be a "beacon of light" as a reminder to women to show up and "be." She tells Jodi she loves her and they hug each other. Jodi tells Iyanla she loves her too.

Rhonda goes to the podium next. She says when she looks at Jodi she sees a woman of great femininity. She says she hopes Jodi will continue to embrace her femininity, release freely and "wear more skirts." Jodi and Rhonda hug.

Dr. Stan is next up to the podium. He says he has a different take on Jodi. He says he saw her as a scared little girl who was still mediating in her parent's divorce. He says Jodi has done intense work on herself in the house and has achieved a great accomplishment. He says Jodi is an attractive, energetic, smart woman who any man would appreciate. He says she is a woman of incredible vitality with a remarkable spirit. He says his hope for Jodi is that she finds a man who accepts her for who she is.

Christie is next up to the podium. She says she had an instant connection with Jodi and is honored to have been on the journey with her. She thanks Jodi for accepting her and being so giving to her. She says her hope for Jodi is that she keeps shining her light. She tells Jodi she loves her and they hug.

Jill goes up to the podium next. She says that she has learned that we really all want the same thing--to be loved and respected. She says the Jodi she sees now is the Jodi she always knew was inside. She tells her she loves her.

Rhonda then presents Jodi with her graduation gift. They are giving her a 7-night stay at a singles' resort to "mingle with other singles." Iyanla then presents Jodi with her Starting Over trophy, which reads, "A Filled Cup-Starting Over 2005."

Jodi then goes to the podium. She says she is speechless because her heart is filled with so much gratitude. She thanks Iyanla and says she knows she was a challenge for her (Iyanla agrees). Jodi says she was also a challenge for herself and her problems were like a puzzle she couldn't figure out. She says Iyanla helped her find her way and instilled in her a passion and a passion to live. She says she will thank Iyanla by living life to the fullest. Jodi tells Rhonda that a lot of times she (Jodi) just couldn't "get it." She thanks Rhonda for helping her get it. Jodi then thanks Dr. Stan and says he opened her eyes. She says she was in denial and he helped her to see. She says now any man she dates will have to measure up to Stan.

Jodi then turns to Kelly and tells her that she loves the fact that they had to struggle in their friendship because she says the most difficult relationships are the ones that teach you the most. Jodi tells Christie that she has learned compassion from her. She says she will be there for her when Christie crosses the finish line. Jodi tells her mom that she looks forward to interacting with her in an authentic way. She tells her mom that she couldn't save her; that she had to save herself. She says she has in fact saved herself now and says she is ready to go live her life. She thanks everyone and says she loves them.

Iyanla and Jodi walk out to the pool together and Jodi tells Iyanla that she is very lucky to have Iyanla in her life. Iyanla gives Jodi a candle to float in the pool. In the confessional, Jodi says she has finally graduated and sees a bright future ahead. She says she feels amazing.

Jodi's mom, Karen, and Jodi stand outside together talking. Karen tells Jodi she now has the tools and the support she needs. And she says she also has her mom. Karen says she has taken off her mask too.

Preview: Sommer gets cold feet on her performance day. Niambi opens up about a growing fear. Christie feels like she is running out of time. Antonia refuses to face her issues with her father and her future in the house is unclear.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Jodi and Her Mom and The Argument

The show begins with Iyanla arriving to meet with Niambi. Iyanla tells Niambi that she looks like she is feeling better. Niambi says she emailed Lucius (AKA Situation Man), and he emailed her back. Niambi says he was supportive and encouraging in his letter and told her he misses her. Niambi, however, says she is still undecided about what she wants regarding the relationship. Iyanla says she doesn't believe that for a second. Niambi says she doesn't want to voice what she wants because she is afraid she can't have it.

Rhonda arrives to meet with Sommer. Rhonda tells Sommer to go put on a tank top. When Sommer returns, Rhonda writes on Sommer: She writes "full" on Sommer's left arm, "body" across Sommer's forehead and "expression" down Sommer's right arm. In the confessional, Rhonda says these words are to remind Sommer to embrace her body. She tells Sommer that she will be doing a dance performance for her housemates in two days. She is sending Sommer to the dance studio to meet with an instructor and choreograph a routine.

Iyanla and Niambi continue talking. Iyanla tells Niambi that we draw to ourselves what we are. She says if Lucius is lying and dishonest, it means Niambi is lying and dishonest about something. She tells Niambi to stop lying and asks her what she wants. Niambi says she wants to love Lucius "out loud." Iyanla asks Niambi if she is ready to be "healed" and Niambi says she is ready. Iyanla takes Niambi to the computer and tells her to write an email to Lucius. Then Iyanla tells her exactly what to write. Iyanla tells her to write "The Whole Truth" as the subject. She then tells her to write (paraphrased somewhat): "Please forgive me for being dishonest and a punk. The truth of the matter is I want to love you out loud, but was too proud to admit it. Forgive me for judging you for your bad behavior when I've done the same behavior. I'm getting better. I want to explore the possibilities for us both."

Niambi asks Iyanla whether she can tell him in the email that Iyanla made her write it. Iyanla says no and tells her to hit "send." Niambi sends the email. In the confessional, Niambi says when she hit send she wanted to throw up. She says she wants to take the email back because she feels stupid and scared for having sent it.

Iyanla tells Niambi that the way to deal with fear is to confront it, and that's what Niambi just did by sending the email.

Farah arrives to meet with Antonia about the guest room. They discuss the painting of the room, and Farah tells her what needs to be painted, etc. In the confessional, Antonia says she hopes her housemates will help her paint the room.

Iyanla and Jodi meet. In the confessional, Iyanla says Jodi thought she was ready to graduate before, but now she is going to get ready by tying up some loose ends. Iyanla talks to Jodi about tying up the loose ends in regards to her mom. Jodi says she does want to talk with her mom and find out what happened when Jodi was sent to live with her dad. Iyanla says she has someone she wants Jodi to speak with who can help Jodi with this issue. Iyanla leaves the room and comes back with Jodi's mom. Jodi is very excited to see her and Jodi and her mom, Karen, hug and cry when they greet each other. In the confessional, Jodi says she woke up this morning wanting to see her mom, and it is wonderful that she is at the house. She says it "feels her heart."

Iyanla tells Karen that Jodi has some things she wants to go over with her. Jodi asks her mom what happened when she went to live with her dad. She tells her mom that she can't even remember that time in her life. Karen says she had an abnormal pap test and was told she had to have an hysterectomy. She "freaked out" about the news, and lost her job. She had to go to a mental hospital to deal with things, and she sent Jodi to her dad's during that time. She says she was afraid she was going to die of ovarian cancer like her mom did. Jodi thanks her mom for being so forthright.

Sommer arrives at the Millennium Dance Complex and meets with Shane Sparks. He introduces his assistant, Rachel Kay. Shane and Rachel help Sommer put together a dance routine. In the confessional, Sommer says that every time she messes up, she gets more paranoid about dancing in front of people. She can't believe she only has two days to get it together.

Jodi, her mom, and Iyanla continue talking. Iyanla asks Jodi if there is anything more she needs to tell her mom. Jodi tells her mom that she had bulimia, but that when she told her mom about it, her mom didn't take it seriously. She tells her mom she was sometimes throwing up